Love cannot change another person!

I need to tell you my friends, that love is not a cure all.  It cannot be the catalyst for change.  No matter how much you love someone you cannot expect them to change to fit your ideal person.  Love is something that is flexible and if you truly love someone you accept them for the whole package you shouldn't want them to change anything about themselves.

Yet, I can tell you that no one is perfect and each of us has preconceived notions of what life and love is supposed to be.  But, to be honest our ideals and opinions are skewed by our perceptions and what we have gone through before.  See you cannot compare one relationship to another.  That would be like comparing apples and oranges.  Both are fruits but they have different tastes, textures and flavors, each relationship is different. As are the people that you are in a relationship with, no two people are the same no matter what the circumstances are.

If you know a person, and let's say you have dated them in the past and you truly know them.  How can you expect them to be anything other than what they are?  Truly, take me and my ex as an example we came from a world where sex and drugs were the norm.  We had sex parties and had experiences with others in our relationship, yet when I got sick and couldn't party like we used to I expected him to change with me. I had hoped that the love we had for each other would be enough.  But, I realized that I didn't have the strength to save him, nor was I his mother or father, I couldn't inspire change.  Katy Perry said it best in her song "Circling the Drain" I wanted to be his lover not his mother, couldn't be his savior I didn't have the power.  I thought I was the exception, that I could rewrite his addiction, but he would make a hundred excuses why he needed to do it.  I hoped and prayed for change, it never came.

See, I was talking to my best friend this morning and I came to the realization that if you take an animal from their natural environment you cannot expect them to change.  They will still have their carnal nature to contend with.  It is true you can tame a lion, domesticate a cat or dog, but take something wild and bring it into your home, and see if you can change it's nature.  It can be done with skill, patience, and lots of dangerous experimentation.  However, I took my partner from the drug scene in Atlanta and moved us here to Daytona, I thought that by taking him out of the drug filled environment we used to live in, to a place where we knew absolutely no one that I could influence and inspire change in him.  Problem was the addiction was too strong and I watched as our lives started circling the drain like Katy Perry had said.

 He was going to start writing music and I was going to continue writing in my blog and for almost 2 years neither of us did what we had planned and the drugs crept back into our lives and soon our relationship was over. We were both on an emotional roller coaster and neither of us could or would let go of the past and the drugs that were in our lives.

I tried to change someone against their will. I wanted and hoped that the love that I felt for him would be enough to get him to change. But it wasn't and he finally left and went back to Atlanta where for the first couple of months he was heavily stuck in the drugs and bounced around. His leaving was the impetus for change in my life and I walked away from the drugs altogether and I started writing again and started to re-evaluate my life.  

I have noticed that since he was gone that the feelings that I have had for him weren't reciprocated.  I loved him, but in actuality he didn't love me.  No matter what my feelings for him were, and how hard I tried at the relationship it was doomed to fail because he wasn't totally in it.

Now, I have learned that it is so very easy to fall in love, but it is hard to stay in love.  You have to work at it. You have to nurture it and make it work. You have to be willing to compromise and you have to  be able to change yourself. Two people weren't necessarily meant to be together, this partnership or union is something that man created because of the need to feel complete. But if we look out in nature the wolf is the only animal that I can think of the mates for life. All other animals and creatures have multiple mates, they come together during the mating season and they have relations.

I think the concept of marriage and unions was initially something that was created by religion and has now become secular.  Florida just started granting same-sex partners Holy Union certificates.  Which means that these two individuals have come together to spend the rest of their life with. No matter what or who comes into their lives, they have committed to face it and fight it together.  Temptation is always going to spring up, but if you are truly committed to your vow, you will be able to withstand. I know that my grandfather never cheated on my grandmother.  I am sure there were some times that his eyes wandered but he remained true.  In our society today it is so easy to throw your hands up and walk away.  Forget that their are children and real lives involved in your decision.  Not only are you hurting each other but everyone around you that knows you.

It is hard work making any relationship work, but I think it can still be done in today's world. It will take effort on both parties part.  There can be no short cuts, no deceptions, you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and your partner if it is going to work.  Remember we aren't all mind readers and we will never actually know what is going on in the head of our partner.  But if we share the same goals, same desires and we are helping each other to get there then let it be.  Relationships work better when the two individuals come together and maintain a sense of self and a sense of commitment.  It is important to remain true to yourself and have your own friends and go out and hang with them every once in a while. Yet, maintaining a mutual relationship with your partner, it is impossible to be around one another 24/7.  Tempers flair, interest are harbored and resentments creep in.  Maintaining a healthy sense of self and commitment can forestall and possibly prevent this from happening in your life.

None of us are perfect.  Therefore if we are not perfect creatures how can our ideals and ideas be realistic and perfect? Simple answer is they can't! So if none of us are perfect, and we are trying to be together, how can that work?  The answer is hard work and preserverance, you must want to be together and stay together.  Don't expect love to be a miracle worker and change the person into your ideal because it isn't going to happen you will have to change your ideal and thought process.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Never limit yourself

I am always amazed when I hear people saying things like "I don't like that" or "I can't be friends with you because you are too old".  I guess because it has never been said to me personally yet at this point in my life. See I guess I have what you call good genes, because I look younger than I am by ten years or so I have been told.  It doesn't hurt that I don't act my age, and on most occasions I am surrounded by people half my age.  But it doesn't just stop there, all sorts of people make snap judgments and stick with them as fact.  My brother and father do it all the time, they refuse to try something new, they say they don't like it but have never in fact tried it.  How can you know that you don't like something if you don't try it?  In my mind it isn't possible to not like something if you haven't tried it.  Making snap judgments may just keep you from experiencing something that is truly memorable.  When practiced on people it will cause you to build a false perception of someone, which when you finally get to know the person, that perception you created from your judgment shatters and you are forced to reevaluate the person under the new understanding of them that you have gained from getting to know them.

My advice to you is that you might find that if you are open to experimentation and adventure you are open to a whole host of new experiences and ideas that were once closed off to you.  Keep in mind that if you try something and you don't like it you don't have to go back or do it again.  But if you keep yourself closed off to new possibilities you might be missing out on living a full life.  For those of you who limit your circle of friends based on age, weight, looks or religion you could be missing out on meeting someone very special in your life.  See, I am a firm believer that everyone that comes into your life comes for a reason, either they have something to teach you, or you can teach them something, or they could be the best friend that you could ever have.  There is nothing saying in life that you have to like or date everyone that comes into your life, those are preferences and they are okay.  What I am trying to talk about here are friendships, casual relationships, not sexual ones.  Sexual relationships are a bit different because there has to be attraction, and something that you like about the person for them to happen.

Friendships are important and you need to be open and receptive to everyone that comes into your life. Because people are colorful, vibrant and bring depth and texture into your life.  I have told you guys before in past entries that you never know where a casual encounter can take you.  By limiting your scope of experience in trying new things, new people, and gauging them by limitations that you impose on them you run the risk of never getting to know true friendship and the joy of truly living.  You may even be surprised that once you get past your the limitations you imposed upon yourself, you might find that you like and are attracted to new things and different types of people.

I would like to remind each of you that age is only a state of mind. You are only as old as you think and feel you are.  Some young people tend to shy away from meeting and becoming friends with older people because they think that they will have nothing in common.  But you might be surprised how well you might get along with someone older, that you can talk to them easier and have more in common than you could ever have thought.  Further, especially in the gay community young people automatically think that when an older person approaches them that they are only interested in sex.  You might be surprised that it is the people that are your same age that have sex constantly on their mind.  Once you have sex with them, they are out of there, and in reality you had nothing in common with them at all.  Just because someone is older than you doesn't mean that they only want your body.  Yes it does happen sometimes, but most of the time they want get to know you, have been watching you and think that they might be able to guide you or offer you advice or want to help you.

As I was writing this it dawned on me that we allow ourselves to be limited by not only our own imposed limitations, but also the limitations put on us by others.  An example of that would be, that I had always wanted to explore my talents more, I was told by my parents that a person couldn't make money using their artistic abilities, and of course I believed them.  It wasn't until I was much older and had ended a career in Computer Information Technology field that I learned how wrong they were on that point.  I write now and do so full time, it started out as a hobby and has become so much more than that now.  Don't let other people dictate limitations on you, explore your creative side, enjoy life, and be passionate about what you do.  What you are going to find out by doing so is, that whatever you are passionate about, will make you happy and fulfill you in such away that you are going to feel good about yourself.  Trust me when I tell you that money is going to find and follow you if you follow your heart and your passion.  People are going to see it in your work and feel it when they are around you and that is going to draw income towards you.

Life is too short to arbitrarily dismiss something because you are unsure, or someone has told you something. You owe it to yourself to go out there and explore, try something new, be adventurous, and if there is something that you find that you don't like, or aren't into, then by all means don't pursue it anymore.  Like I said when I started this entry you can't alienate someone because you think they are too old, too fat, too nerdy, or whatever other criteria you impose on yourself and them.  Because believe it or not if you give them half the chance they might surprise you and bring something into your life that you never thought possible.  Again, I am not saying that you have to sleep with them, but to discount them off hand without giving them a chance or the benefit of the doubt is limiting to yourself and cutting yourself off from their wisdom, experience and of course their friendship.  Take a chance, not everyone that is old, acts old, or is actually old.  Some young people may have old souls and seem mature beyond their years, are you going to eliminate them too?  Keep in mind that every person you meet, every encounter that you experience and adventure you embark upon you can learn and grow from.  Life is a series of growing spurts.  I was young and foolish once and thought that I would never have friends older than me.  How wrong I was about that, and I think back on some of the decisions I made and wonder what kind of friendships I might have nurtured and cultivated if I had just been open and receptive to trying and experiencing new things. Have you ever heard the term don't knock it till you try it.  That goes with food, adventures, people, new things and everything else in life.  How are you seriously going to know if you don't like something if you never get out there and experience it or try it.

I can tell you now my eyes are open, and I am friends with everyone. I don't make snap judgments these days, and I have friends of all age ranges and I am a happier more rounded person because I do have them in my life.

Give a person a chance, get to know them, see for yourself what I am talking about.  I think you will thank me that you did.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Today is the day, a new beginning and a new start!

I have been telling you for a couple of days now that I had to move out of my parents house by this weekend.  Well, try as I may I couldn't really find anything that worked.  The place I looked at for work looked like it was going to fall through, because they wanted a $200.00 deposit on top of the money for the rest of the month.  This would have strapped me totally financially and I wouldn't have food to eat or gas to get too and from work, get to my doctors appointment in Orlando and all the other things I have to get done this week.  However, this morning that changed I paid the prorated rate got the keys and by 6:00 pm tonight I had a majority of the stuff moved out.  But as usual when I plan things they never seem go as planned.  When I got here with my stuff tonight the girl who I had worked out the arrangements met me and said that one of our co-workers had stopped by and told her that I needed to pay the deposit. However, Jodi told me that we would work it out later and let it go.  Now I have to tell you it really upset me because I had gone over this twice and was told both times a deposit wasn't needed.  Anyhow, I am off till Tuesday and I will deal with it then.  

I believe that my parents were surprised because I came home and just started loading up my stuff.  I don't think they were expecting me to move out right away as soon as I had gotten the place.  Originally I had planned to move in on Sunday but since I had the keys and I was a little angry at the fact that everything had changed yet again, I decided to just take possession of the place right away.  Besides which why hesitate, when you are making a move, just do it.  Take the chance and just run with it. Why draw it out?  Even though the timing of the move was ill planned and not really budgeted for, it was something that my boyfriend and I had been discussing and I was going to do it back in August.  He was coming to visit for 3 weeks and I  thought it would have been the perfect opportunity to move it out.  Well, when he didn't come I just stayed at the house besides which I was in and out of the hospital 3 times in August and September so it wouldn't have worked out right anyway.  Even though I still don't understand why my dad waited to the last minute to tell me that I needed to move out.  If I had been forewarned I would have budgeted and prepared myself differently.  As it is for right now I am good.

This is the ending of one phase of my life and the beginning of a new one.  If you read yesterday's blog entry you will begin to understand that I have been going through the reevaluating and readjusting my life, and like I said yesterday once you readjust, reevaluate, realign it is then time to move on.  Like I said yesterday before I left Atlanta I had readjusted my goals, set new ones that were more realistic and achievable. It was just yesterday as I was writing my blog entry that I realized I had accomplished each and every single goal I had set for myself.  So, yes the timing was write for me to get out on my own and start all over again.  The amazing thing about this is that it only took me 8 months to achieve and rebuild everything that I had planned.  I am proud of myself, I have come along way, matured and grown.

Like I told you yesterday each of us comes to a point in our life when we have to make choices and decisions about our future. We have to move on, or grow stagnant, it is my time to move on.  Besides which I wasn't honestly getting a head where I was at. It was impossible for me to save any money in that situation and now I have an opportunity to try again see how much I can put aside for my next move.  See, I decided to take this step of moving out in stages.  Right now I am staying in a hotel property that my company manages, while I am staying here and working I plan on looking for a more permanent place over the next couple of weeks.  By taking this slowly and making an informed decision about this, I know I can find exactly the right place quickly.

I have the luxury of time on this one, but sometimes life isn't as kind when it comes to situations like this.  When life comes at you quickly and you have to make a decision on the spur of the moment. You need to take a leap of faith and move quickly.  Trust that God and the universe will take care of you.  Sometimes the best decisions are the ones that are made in the heat of the moment.  Because you haven't had the time to really think about it and you just move the angels are going to protect you and guide you.  If you have been following my blog all this time you know how life can sneak up on you and throw all sorts of things in your way, just like this.  I was given 9 days to find a place and I accomplished the task and I am safe and comfortable.  Another miracle that happened is that I worked just 1 1/2 extra last week and it gave me enough money to pay for my cell phone, the prorated rate for the rest of the month and still have the money that I need to pay the ticket that I have in GA.

Like I told you yesterday my one regret in all of this is that my boyfriend is not here sharing this adventure with me.  But, like I told you yesterday he has closed me off and hasn't made any contact at all with me.  I even tried calling him today, and left him a message hoping he would call me back.  But once again there has been no response.  I know that in time he will come back to me, I just have to believe in the Lord and trust the love that I feel for him and that I know he feels for me.  But, since he isn't here with me and I haven't been able to get him to talk to me, I guess I am about to embark on this first stage of my journey on my own.  Maybe he will be ready to talk to me as the second phase comes into play.

This weekend is the new start of my new journey and total independence from my parents.  I am going to use this weekend to formulate new strategies and goals for the next 8 months.  Now, is the time for me to embark and embrace the changes that are happening in my life.  I am excited and happy about all of this.  A week or two ago I got up on Monday morning and I changed my status saying that I felt change in the air, and that a new adventure was heading my way, and three days later my father sprung the move on me.  Where I go from here is up to me, I have no one to answer too and the decisions I make from here on out will be of my own design and choosing.  This is an exciting time for me and one I haven't felt in a very long time.

Even if you aren't sure what the future holds for you, and change falls upon you take that step, reach out in faith and know in your heart that you are going to be okay. That nothing can hurt you! Take the time to reevaluate your situation, and if time permits, look at the situation from all angles and choose a path, be confident that your decision is going to be the right one.  Remember what I told you once, maybe the reason all the doors before you seem to be closed is so that you can open the right one, because every time one adventure ends another begins.

I am looking forward to this journey, I want to prove to myself that I can do it, I can make it, that my failure in Atlanta last year was not a trend or pattern that I am going to continue to repeat.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

People are who they have always been!

I learned something valuable during my misadventures, I learned that people are not who they are during your last conversation with them, they are who they have always been throughout your entire relationship.  Things don't change just because of the heat of the moment.  They don't change because someone is angry, or sad, desperate or alone.  The person who you are talking to at that moment is the product of the emotions and situation that they find themselves in.  What remains at the end of the day is who they have always been.  You will find that anyone can say anything in the heat of the moment. They say things to hurt when they are hurt, they encourage when they see inspiration, and they are supportive when they feel supported.

The person you know is the same person, take them at their word, believe them at the moment, because what they are feeling is true for them. However, you must remember that after the moment passes, the anger has flared and the temper has died down, they are going to be the same consistent person they have always been.  There will be posturing and apologies on both parts, but in the end their strength of character will shine through.  Trust me when I tell you that the person you have always known, the person who has demonstrated time and again their unfailing and unflagging self, is going to return.  They are going to be consistent with whom they have always been.

It is my belief that people are essentially good and that circumstances and situations make them act in certain ways, sometimes there are external influences that might trigger a sort of behavior that is uncharacteristic with their altruistic nature.  One such influence is drugs, but as I said earlier when all is said and done you will see that the person you know and trust is still there behind the mask of anger and drug induced haze. My friends in Atlanta reacted to my situation with sympathy and compassion in almost all cases, except for the one person who thought that I was so much more than what they were seeing.  It is true that I am a person of integrity and self-confidence, however, even the most dire circumstances are enough to make one question their beliefs and integrity.

I am guilty of feeling sorry for myself and indulging in a serious case of self pity.  However, I do realize that the battle that was going on inside of my mind was evident to all those around me, and when my doubts surfaced, I realized that I had shown my own weakness. In the long run it was their faith in me and the strength they lent me that made it possible for me to  carry on.  The last words that were spoken between me and my friend Tony were less than pleasant and that I took them seriously too heart at the moment they were spoken.  I have since re-evaluated my situation and the words that were spoken, I have come to realize that I shouldn't have put so much stock into what was said as I should have the person who was speaking them.  I now know the difference and I know that he was hurting as much as I was at the moment the words were said. I do know that Tony is the same person today, as He was the day I met him and will continue to be the same person, that the words that were spoken have different meaning to me today, as they did that day I left.

So don't judge too harshly what was spoken to you, remember who has said them, remember who they have been throughout your whole relationship and you will see the person that has always been there.  I hope you understand what this simple lesson has taught me and what I have learned. Trust your friends and they will be there for you when you need them.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

You know it is alright to agree to disagree.

I am sure that you have heard somewhere before in your life that everyone has an opinion and they are entitled to it.  I have been following a lively debate on Google + over Chick-fil-A, and trust me my opinion hasn't changed at all.  It is alright to agree to disagree with someone over their differing opinion.  Who is to say that you are right or they are wrong or vice-versa.  See, in this country everyone has a right to say what their opinion is, regardless of who it hurts or is insulted by it.  But that is okay because you have the right to voice your objections just as strongly.  Where the problem comes in if one person is so opinionated that they try to force their beliefs on everyone around them.

It is true that everyone has an opinion, it is further true that sometimes those opinions should be unspoken to the general public, but hey who am I too say?  Sometimes a remark can come off as derogatory or even inflammatory, so be careful how you state your case.  I am not saying that you should hold in your opinion, unless of course it will get you killed.  Like telling the gunman that he is a bully and you aren't going to give him your money. I don't think anyone would do that anyway.  I am just recommending that if you have something negative to say couch it in a way where people aren't necessarily going to be offended by it.

One of my defense mechanisms is that I make jokes about people when they do something that bothers me.  Most of the time the person I am directing it at has no clue that I am annoyed, and it takes them awhile to figure out that the joke was meant to get them to stop whatever it is.  People that have known me for years can tell right off when it is getting bad, and usually try to warn the person off. Because if they don't get it the first or second time, shame on them because when I get to the point I can't stand it anymore I go off like a cannon and I usually tear them apart. Verbally that is, in the gay world they call it reading someone.

Anyhow, there are some people that disagree with some of the things that I write, and that is okay because I expect them too.  The purpose of me writing these things is to stir up conversation and to get people to think about the things that are going on around them.  I don't care if people see it my way or not. Because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters to me is my own.  So yes, I have perfected the right to agree to disagree, because I think it is healthy to talk about things and discuss them, because maybe in the long run both of us are wrong, but unless we explore and talk about it how will we ever know.

So the next time someone says something that catches you off guard, and makes you immediately think "No you are wrong about this", stop a minute don't say anything, listen to their opinion and in a kind manner explain your position.  Again, the point is this will save you from an argument, which trust me most of the time they are pointless.  Arguments are hard to win because it is almost impossible to persuade someone that what they think is wrong.  I am just saying. I have been there and I am one that likes to argue just for arguments sake really. I don't care if I am right or wrong, with some people I automatically take the opposite side, just because I can.  There are times when I like to play devil's advocate and chose to word my opinion differently than someone else's and if they aren't quick enough they start to argue, and all I have done is repeat what they have said back to them slightly different, and guess what, an argument breaks out.  Until I point out that I agree with them and just had been twisting it around so they couldn't understand it.  I know that is mean but it can be a lot of fun.

Anyhow, the point I am trying to make is this, your opinion is neither right nor wrong, it is just your interpretation of something is. Another person's opinion is also neither right or wrong, it is just how they see something.  Take the time to fully listen to the other person, don't interrupt or cut them off (because you know that is so annoying to have someone start talking right over what you are saying). Of course I have been known to do that to others, so I cannot condemn anyone for it, just saying it is annoying. Anyhow, if you can come to a point in a discussion to say I agree to disagree with you and leave it at that, neither side gets their feelings truly hurt and an argument may be avoided.  Unless you are hanging out with me and I don't let it go...LOL...Just kidding.  Anyhow, point is take everything you hear with a grain of salt, and keep what is pertinent and push the other stuff aside, life is too short, to fight over whether you were right or they were.

Anyhow, that is all I really have to say on the subject is that if you really care about people and the person who is talking to you, give them the courtesy of listen to them totally out, and if you want give your own impression, but if you disagree with their position, maybe the better part of valor is to just let it go and chalk it up to the game of life and move on.  As I said life is too short and the precious moments we have don't need to be shared in arguments.  I would say keep your opinion to yourselves, but that would be falling on deaf ears, especially since I cannot seem to do.  But be respectful of another's opinion and give them benefit of the doubt and then just let it go. What can it hurt? right?

Anyhow, this week has been tough been job hunting and trying to update my blog and write entries and then squeeze in doctors on top of all of it.  So, just remember your opinion is as right and true as anyone else's and if you want to share them you can, but when someone disagrees, be ready to agree to disagree and let it be.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

You can do it on your own, you don't need anybody!

I know if you are anything like me you don't like being alone at all.  But, I want to tell you that there are some things you are just better at doing by yourself.  It is always nice to have a support network to help you through the rough times in your life, and believe me your friends and family are going to pull together for you and help you through those times, and you won't have to face them alone.  What I am talking about here is that you don't need another person in your life to define you or make you whole.  Sure it is nice to have someone to love, to depend on, to care for, but sometimes the timing is not right or you just can't seem to come together. No matter what the reason is for you being single, understand that you can do it on your own. You don't need someone to hold your hand and coddle you through. One of my fears that I have always had was that I was going to get sick and die alone, that I wouldn't be able to find someone that could care and love me for who I am. Especially after all the surgeries and illnesses I have been through.

Sure it has made it harder for me to find someone who truly and genuinely cares for me, because it seems that having an illness and dwelling on that lowers your defenses, you have a tendency to cling to anyone that shows you the least little bit of attention or affection. I can tell you that this can possibly lead to humiliation and heartbreak, because some of these people are opportunist that are looking for vulnerable people to prey upon and take what they can get from them.  Now, I am not saying that everyone is like that, but you have to be extremely careful because there is a world full of predators out there that are looking for the weak and the vulnerable to prey upon and use up.  I have found myself personally in that situation more than once, and it isn't fun, and it becomes extremely costly.

There is hope for you and anyone really that wants to read and listen.  You honestly don't need anyone to complete you, you can complete yourself.  Trust me when I tell you that you can get sucked into a relationship, you can loose yourself and loose your sense of direction.  Further, once you are in a relationship you are going to go through a lot of changes and compromises, and believe it or not most of your dreams and goals are going to end up taking a back seat in your life.  First in a relationship you are trying to adapt to your new environment and people that you are involved, integrating your friends and their friends into the mix.  Then there is where are you going to live, and how you are going to manage the finances together, because combining two individuals into a pair takes some work, each of you have your own lives and issues that you have to bring together to deal with. You are going to want to deal with them as a team and work them through together.  Plus there is the time that you are going to take getting to know one another better, and of course there is still having to work and possibly going to school to deal with and so many other things.  That you just seem to stop doing your own things, because now you are doing "Our" things.  Meaning as a couple you start doing things together. This is not an altogether bad thing believe me and it happens more than you can imagine.  But as you are combining your lives, and streamlining the excess, and working out a whole new sets of goals, guess what happens to the dreams you once had, you got it, they fall by the wayside, maybe not totally forgotten, but they sure are put on the shelf for later review.

You may even come to discard your old dreams in favor of new dreams that you create with your partner. You both have expectations and desires to reach these dreams and complete them together, but what do you do when that relationship falls apart or just plain disappears?  You are going to find yourself in a difficult place, you are hurt, your world seems upside down, and you don't know what your future is going to hold, and your faith in yourself and in the world around you is going to be very badly shaken.  It may take you awhile to come back to yourself, to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and start over again. But eventually you will do it, and guess what you might even remember those old dreams that you shelved a while back and might decide that now is the perfect time to try them out.  You figure you have nothing to loose and off you go.

Well, I have faith in you, because I have been there and done just what I described above, I started a new life, met someone in 1996 and decided that it was time for a new chapter in my life to begin.  I actually dabbled in some of the things I used to be into, like pencil sketching, drawing, writing, doing research and practicing my beliefs. But honestly, I just dabbled, I wasn't really into it.  I was too busy with my life, relationship, the drama that came with being in a relationship, then I was working and building a career, and buying houses, and cars, etc. Before you knew it my dreams and passions got left behind in the dirt.  Even after my relationship ended, it did last for 12 years, but when it ended, I was too busy trying to find myself, re-establish my identity, figure out a sense of direction and of course get my feet back under me. My dreams unfortunately never had a chance to resurface.  But now that time and distance from my failed relationship have brought into a much clearer focus I remember the dreams I had, and I am finally in a place in my life where I have my feet back under me and a stable foundation on which to build from. So I started writing again, and I have no partner in my life. Those of you that know me and have been following my blogs, know that there are two special people in my life that I have feelings for and they are both far away in Atlanta, and I don't get to talk to them on a regular basis, and that I don't even know if they realize I have an interest in them any more.

Anyhow, the point I am trying to make is this, I am back to a point in my life where I realize I can do everything I need to take care of myself. I don't need anyone else to tell me what to do, make decisions for me, hold my hand and of course keep me from doing the things that I love to do and have always dreamed of doing.  It took me having to go through the darkest part of my life to realize that there is so much more out there just waiting to be done, and that I can do it all by myself.  Sure as I mentioned above it would be nice to have someone in my life, but you know what if that ever comes about this time things are going to be a little different. I am going to encourage them to follow their dreams, to take a leap of faith and try to do accomplish whatever they desire. Because, I am focusing on attaining my own dreams and I don't have time for someone that is going to rain on my parade or hold me back.  I won't settle for someone that doesn't have faith in me, that doesn't believe in me, or who tries to tell me that my dreams are unrealistic, or that I don't have talent or the myriad of other things that were used to hold me back and keep me down in my previous relationship.  I have finally found myself again, and yes it took me a long while to realize that I didn't need another person, that my dreams were just as important to me as any other aspect of my life.

It also dawned on me that when we meet someone new that we have a preconceived notion of what they are supposed to be like and what the new relationship is supposed to be like. These notions are from what we see on TV, in our own family life, even that of our friends relationships.  We end up constantly comparing the person and the relationship against these notions or expectations and when they don't measure up we get frustrated, disappointed and stress and discord enter the picture, we start fighting and as the tension builds so does the depression.  I talked about this in my blog entry "You need to adjust and lower your expectations".  The point here is that no one is ever going to measure up to your ideal or perfect person or relationship and if you don't come to terms with that, you are going to end up alienating yourself, pushing the person away, and destroying your relationship. Honestly, I believe that both of you are going to come to a point where you feel that nothing you do is right in the others eyes, and that everything you try to do to make each other happy only back fires.

No matter if you are in a relationship or if you have gone through the emotional turmoil of the break up, you have to rely on yourself.  I have stressed over and over again in almost all my blog entries the importance of taking care of yourself, focusing your attention on your own needs, desires and goals. Because as I have said before, no one else is going to do it for you. If you don't put yourself first and foremost then you are going to get left behind, you are going to put your dreams on hold and they are never going to have the chance to be realized. You are going to wake up one morning and realize that your life is half over and you have yet to accomplish anything. That you have given up your dreams to raise a family, to take care of your partner, or raise children, or given everything you had to your career and job.  You forgot all about yourself and your dreams, you decided that you could sacrifice them to survive.  But take it from me those are the types of regrets you don't want to have in your life, and guess what I am here to tell you that you don't have to.

I am also here to tell you that if you come to a point in your life and you find yourself alone, and sometimes feeling lonely, don't think that you have to go out there and find yourself somebody, because you don't. You can do it all on your own, you won't have any distractions, nobody holding you back, or taking your time.  One of my favorite movies the son tells his mother " I can cook, clean, sew, fix the plumbing and pat myself on the back, just so you don't have to."  You are going to find that you don't need anyone in your life to feel complete, you can prove to yourself that you are worthy of happiness, and are destined for great things.  You are strong enough to take care of yourself, and of course you have your friends and family.  Don't let yourself be pressured or forget what you believe in, because you are worth it. You owe it to yourself to reach for your dreams, to take a leap of faith and find your success.  I am here to tell you that you are never too old to reach for and accomplish your dreams.  Look at Fantasia Barrino, she is the young singer who won season 3 of American Idol, she was a single mother, struggling, working hard to take care of herself and her baby.  She had almost forgot her dream.  She almost let it go, a friend of her's encouraged her, told her that her voice was her gift and that God gave it to her to make a success from.  She told her brother, that her grandmother and her mother had given up their dreams to take care of them and raise them, but she wasn't going to do it, she was going to make it so her daughter would be able to reach for her dreams when she grew up.   You should really check out her story "Fantasia Barrino: Life is not a fairy tale", I am so sure you will be amazed at her life and be able to take some inspiration from it.

I am always looking for people whose lives touch me and inspire me, and I can tell you this.  You can do anything you want to, you must set your mind to it, work hard, and do what it takes, fight for it, don't worry about the people talking about you and putting you down, because you know what at least they are thinking about you, and if they are great. Don't give up or quit, see it through to the end, I know it is going to be hard and you are going to want to throw in the towel, but guess what stick it out you are going to be so happy you did. The rewards and joy are going to so outweigh the pain you had to endure getting there.  If there are people holding you back and keeping you down, you have to be strong enough to let them go, find the strength within yourself to know that you can do it, you can make it and you will.  You deserve the best, you don't need anyone holding you down...trust me you can make it one your own you don't need anybody.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

A problem with organized religion and what the church has missed

I have been thinking a lot about the state of the world today and the role that the church plays in it.  To my dismay it has become evident that the whole christian church has missed the boat, their philosophy is their own and not that of Jesus.  Honestly, the church calls themselves christian, which means that they believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.  The teach that the New Testament is the teachings and life of Jesus, so why don't they demonstrate in their preaching and lifestyle that they are believers.  How did they miss the boat, and why do they continue to teach hate and intolerance.  Each minister, pastor, priest, preacher and teacher has to go through extensive training via seminary to become ordained, yet they continue to focus primarily on the Old Testament.

This is a major dilemma for the church, because they are in the wrong. How did they miss the message that was sent and shown to them at Calvary, when Jesus died on the cross for the sins of the world?  How is it 2000 years later they still haven't figured it out.  Don't they know that if Jesus came back today that the modern church would be just as condemned as the church was 2000 years ago. That the religious leaders haven't changed, they are still doing the same things that Jesus told them was wrong way back then.  See, the problem is God gave 2 Covenants to the faithful, the first is discussed at great lengths in the Old Testament, it was governed and presided over by the Priests, the church was a tent that God had given exacting specifications on, there was a section in which God himself resided. This was called the Holy of Holies and only the High Priest was allowed to enter.  Sacrifices and atonement was made by the priests on behalf of the people and the law of the ten commandments was the governing laws of the time.

Problem is that Covenant ended when Christ chose to die at Calvary. His blood is the bridge that crosses the gap of original sin.  No longer did we need the priest to intercede on our behalf, we now have a direct link through Christ. He became the ultimate sacrifice, and through him we are saved and granted Salvation.  The old covenant between God and Abraham ended when as Jesus died the temple veil tore in two.  A person can now only be saved through Jesus, as He said "I am the way the truth and the life, no one can come to the Father accept through Me."  The new covenant that God gave to us through Jesus was much simpler, and gentler than the old covenant.  No longer did the Ten Commandments hold sway, because Jesus gave new commandments.  He gave a new direction and mission to the church.  The problem is the church by the time of Christ had grown into a bureaucracy and as with any large body is resistant to change.  Here we are 2000 years later and the church is still teaching out of the Old Testament, shoring up their fences with hatred, fear, intolerance and unfortunately they are terribly mistaken.

Being saved by Grace which is what the New Covenant is called, is all about love, patience, acceptance, and good will.  We are commanded to go out and be fishers of men, to give our testimony and lead others to Christ for salvation.  We were given just a few commandments to follow, Love one another as you love yourself, Children obey your parents so that your days may be many, go out and be fishers of men are the commandments that show that the face of God had changed, had become more tolerant and forgiving.  In this day and age the commandments have been integrated into our law system and protect all people. These are the guiding principles that we all strive to live by.  However, each denomination still denies anyone who doesn't believe exactly like they do, still cling to the old testament with was called being saved under the Law.  Law being Deuteronomy and Leviticus and the Ten Commandments.

There are so many things that they modern church preaches against that stem directly from the old testament and are repealed by the teachings of Jesus.  One of the things I a talking about is Homosexuality, in the Old Testament it was considered an abomination and punishable by death.  But in the New Testament there is something said that is totally different and keeps being over looked and not comprehended by hundreds of theologians and that is troubling that these scholars don't even believe what they claim as the gospel.  In Romans same sex interaction is again addressed, but this time you should read the passages very carefully because there is something hidden in them that is very enlightening and important for everyone to understand.  See it starts out something like this, bear with me I am doing this totally from memory.  When a man burns for lust for another and a woman yearns for another working that which is unseemly, those that do not keep God in their mind and heart will be turned over to a reprobate mind, and they become hater, backbiters, etc. the punishment of their ways are death.  However, further reading reveals that those that keep God in their hearts and mind receive the recompense of their ways is meet.  This is very important because it means that those of us that are gay and believe in God, are not forsaken, we are not an abomination, that we receive here on earth the recompense or payment for the error of their ways is meet, meaning we shall receive our punishment if you want to think of it that way here (meet).

So those that teach and think that you cannot be gay and christian aren't really christian either.  For they have missed the boat, they are clinging to the old testament like it is a life line and all it is, is an example to live a good life by. The old testament was created to control the large crowd of refugees that were liberated from the pharaoh by Moses, and led into the wilderness of the desert. Maintaining order and discipline would have been a nightmare and almost impossible if not for the ten commandments.  These laws and rules were put in place to ensure that compliance was mandatory, and the punishments for breaking them was swift and vicious, to ensure that they were obeyed.   But in  when Jesus came into the world the wandering in the desert was over, society and a nation were born and being ruled.  There were no longer any need for them or the punishments described in exodus and leviticus.  The old way wasn't working any longer and the church was taking advantage of the people and doing things that angered Jesus.  So He set out to show them by example how to live a life of purity and faith, He gave examples and extolled virtues in His sermons, He encouraged acceptance of everyone, no matter who or what they were.  He commanded that we love one another, to harm no one, to be obedient, to forgive, resist retribution and to bring His message of love and forgiveness to the world.

He condemned those who judged, He protected the weak and the lowly, and he walked with the common people.  He loved everyone equally.  We were to learn by his example, and to preach that God was a benevolent and forgiving God that loved us and cared for us because He had made us.  The message Jesus brought was of hope and love, kindness and understanding.  So why has the church missed this, why do they splinter and fracture over idiosyncratic beliefs.  Why are there so many different denominations all proclaiming that they are right and if you don't believe like them then you are truly not saved and unworthy of their help or support.  Why are we still hell bent on persecuting those that are different then us, judging them and casting aspersions upon them.  It isn't our place to judge anyone, because none of us are blameless, we were all born into original sin and separated forever from the love of God until we come to accept and are saved by Jesus.  How hard is it to see and understand?  When are they going to get it?  When will the church stop misleading people and embrace the truth the Jesus is the Son of God, and become real christian's and faithful to His teachings?

It is so  important for us to understand that no one has the right to judge us, tell us what we believe is right or wrong, and further we have a shining example of how we are supposed to live our life's and how we are supposed to act and react.  It isn't hard and Jesus is patient, and if you truly believe and are a christian you will understand that the church is wrong, and Jesus even made a provision for those of us who would eventually come to realize that the church is off track and heading for a big surprise when He comes again.  See Jesus told his followers about the church, warned them actually and gave the following provision to keep us safe from the wiles and pitfalls of the church..He said "When to or three are gathered there, I shall be also."  Amazing isn't it that Jesus had enough foresight to see that the church wasn't going to be the body to save the people that they were going to have to come directly to him and they didn't need to be in a huge congregation to do it.  They only had to have faith and worship him, with just two or three the Lord would be there.

Jesus's message is quite simple really Love each other and everything, be kind and gentle, practice forgiveness, extend understanding to everyone, and don't judge because what is right for you may not be right for someone else.  The easiest way to be a real christian is to ask yourself at each juncture "What would Jesus do", or WWJD.  Without a doubt something each of us should learn how to ask.  So, if you are not accepted by your church because you are different, or gay or just don't believe exactly along the same lines as them, be assured that you are not wrong, because God loves you and created you just as you are.  We are all flawed and imperfect and that is what makes us unique and totally human.  Love yourself and your fellow man, be helpful, kind, caring and compassionate and you cannot go wrong.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

What is meant to be always finds a way!

With this line of thinking I have opened for myself a whole can of worms, I am not sure I can find the answers for which my line of thought has been leading me too.  It all started yesterday with the shooting at the Dark Knight premiere in Colorado.  Jessica Redfield a sports blogger and upcoming journalist from Denver, had narrowly escaped being killed a month before in a shooting spree that took place in a Toronto Mall, met her tragic death at the premiere of the Dark Knight Rises, Thursday night, Friday morning.  This has brought up in my mind the question of Destiny, pre-ordination, and fate. These are questions that haunt me and make me question whether, our lives are all pre-written, is our future locked in stone and unchangeable? 

This pictures seems to answer that question:  It seems to indicate that our lives are on a path, and that our futures are pre-written.

I have been praying and thinking on this for awhile trying to understand exactly what this means.  I believe that our future is a series of possibilities and probabilities, and that depending on the decisions and actions we take at specific points in our lives is what dictates what our possible future might be.  So while it may appear that our future is cut in stone and unchangeable.  It is not!  What are forged in stone are way-points or milestones which are decision points, where our choice and probabilities unfold the next path our journey.

As I have been thinking on this an analyzing my thoughts on destiny, fate, future, and how it unfolds.  I think that because we have free will and choice, that there are only predefined events, which I have called way-points or milestones in our lives. You can think of these sort of as save points in windows.  Places where you are making a change or decision and you have to save a place in-case something goes wrong and you have to go back.  Unfortunately, we as people don't have to ability to go back and undo or change what has happened like a computer, but we do have significant places of decision.  This is where I think we have the ability to change or re-write our future, based on the choices we make.  

Now, I want you to think on this, we make a thousand decisions a minute sometimes, and our brain is able to process this in a way that we hardly have to take the time out to consider them all, but in actuality, each decision that we make can influence the outcome of our future. If you understand where I am coming from you might begin to see that for each and every decision there are thousands of possible solutions. Not just the obvious ones we routinely choose from.  I believe that each time we make a decision we set the direction our future will take.  If we take the time to actually think about an analyze each and every question, decision, action that we are faced with and actually, literally and truthfully look at these, there are many different answers, actions, choices we could make.  Some may not be easily seen or recognized because they are abstract and are outside of our norm.  When I am talking about our norm, this is actually our rational pattern that we have adopted, it is what makes us predictable and sort of defines us.  I think that if you are really wanting to change your destiny, outcome and fate, you must at times break out of your pattern of behavior, and think outside of the box, and take a different path then what has always been comfortable with you. 

It may also be easier to look at things from multiple perspectives when trying to make a decision.  Now, as I have pointed out our lifetimes are filled with decision points, way-points, milestones and how do we know which ones are the major ones.  The ones that are going to change our lives and re-write our fate, history and our future?  The answer is we don't! This is the honest answer, because I know sometimes it is easy to see where major concerns, questions, and paths can lead to different outcomes, but it is also my contention that the smallest decision can also greatly influence the path that you are one.  I do not believe that life is easy or was made to be easy at all.  That each question should be a challenge to our thinking and our pattern.

There are several schools of thought on this.  You have certain religions, that don't believe that the future is at all pre-ordained and that it is exemplified by us having free will. Unfortunately, I wish that was true.  Another school of thought is that of chaos, that all things originate and return to chaos.  I hesitate and think that they aren't exactly on the right path either.  I don't think that it is easy to see the future, and I don't believe that are path is written, I do however, belief that there are spots, in our lives that we have to face and go through. These are the portions of our history that are foretold, they are inevitable and are going to happen no matter what we do or how we plan around them.  It is from these points that our actions, reactions and choices dictate where we go next and how well we do.  Until we reach the next way-point or milestone.   The picture above is what I am referring to when I talk about this.  It says "Whats meant to be will always find a way", some of you may think that this is disheartening, that it takes away hope and faith.  But it actuality it should do just the opposite.  See, it is not only referring to the bad things and the tragedy's in our lives and future, but also the good things and the blessings we are going to receive.  

It is unfortunate, about Jessica Redfield and that she lost her life, but in a way using that picture above, I can sort of make some sense of this terrible tragedy.  See, and here you probably won't agree with me, but that is okay, because I am not expecting everyone to agree with everything I have to say, and I am just following a thought to a conclusion, whether it is right or wrong will depend entirely up to you. Because the truth of the matter is this, what may be right and true for one person may not be accurate and true for you.  That is the amazing thing about life and philosophy, and the spiritual journey that we are all on.  It is your own path and your own set of truths that are going to be revealed for you. Some of the things you learn on your journey are going to help you and others, and some aren't.  Further, what another person learns on their journey may help you and then again it may help everyone but you, because your walk is different from their's.    As I was saying, Jessica narrowly escaped the mall shooting in Toronto a month ago, only to find her life taken from her at a movie premiere.  I think it is sad and pointless for her to have died, but I do realize that maybe it was meant for her to have died, and so another way had to happen for it to take place. 

You may say how can you think like that, and that other people died too at the same time.  I am not saying that this was her fault or doing at all. I think that each of us have an allotted time and when our time comes, and death arrives to take us, it is our time and we must go.  I think that it was her time and that of the others that went with her, the circumstances of how and why it happened are terrible, and I won't pretend to understand the motivation of the man that committed these acts.  Because the truth is I don't really understand at all what would make another person feel comfortable with or even dream of hurting another person, much less taking their life.  Because to me Life is the greatest gift that we have been given, and we should protect it and guard it jealously, because it is the only one we get, and we should cherish it always.  

I know sometimes it might be hard to cherish life, especially if you are sick or have been hurt. But, guess what, I think it is at those times when we are truly vulnerable and can see our own mortality, that we are more appreciative and thankful for what we have been granted.  Jessica wrote in her blog something that is inspiring and very touching that I would like to also share with you, because I find that it is one of the reasons why I write to you and talk about all these things. She had written in her blog after the shootings in Toronto the following: "I was reminded that we don't know when or where our time on Earth will end."  Because it is true that we never know when we are going to die or even how, I suggest resolving conflicts in your life, never leave anyone with an angry word, and be honest and tell people that you care about how much you love them.  I know how hard it is to loose someone and not have the chance to say goodbye and reconcile things with them when you have parted on less then perfect terms and how you hold that shame and regret with you every day that you are alive.  

Please walk away from reading this with the understanding that I don't believe that any one future, is absolute, that I believe that when confronted with a choice, a way-point or milestone, there are an infinite number of solutions or directions we can take, and how we choose and the choice we make, dictate the direction our lives are going to follow.  There are only but single moments in our personal history that can be predicted, and those moments are what cannot be changed, and are what is meant to be. These are the task, questions, and decisions that we have to make, and if we follow suit in our own natural pattern, our future might be predictable and even seen.  However, if you routine, try to think outside of the box and change your pattern for the betterment of you and those around you. You constantly write and choose your own path and future.  There are millions of possible futures open to you, but only one leads to a bright, perfect and happy one.  Choose wisely and think through everything. Take the philosophers journey with me and explore the meaning of everything and question all.  Might be fascinating to learn the results.  

With all of that being said, I would like to leave you with the following thoughts.  "Shit happens!" and my answer to it is: "So what, Who Cares...Get over It!"  Trust me this makes life so much easier to deal with and to be ready to accept what is thrown at you.  

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Education, learning and Teaching

This is the third and last entry in this little series on reality that I have been talking about.  Yesterday I spoke to you about the 2 fold reality system, that I think are body and mind reside in while we are alive on earth.  As I told you yesterday I wanted to talk to you about education, learning and teaching. I want to come at if from Plato's viewpoint.  Again this is a topic that I hope will inspire discussion, feedback and comment on this topic.

Yesterday, I was talking about Plato's Allegory of the Cave, and his postulations about reality, salvation, spiritual journeys and teaching.  I want to round out what I have been talking about with education, learning and teaching. According to Plato, he thought that the imparting of knowledge between a teacher and a student was impossible, that education is only possible by point the students mind to what is real and important, and letting them apprehend it for themselves.  Now, what Plato thought was that all knowledge and information that will ever be was recorded and housed in a great library in the spiritual or real "reality" that can only be discovered through the mind.  What I am talking about is the Akashic Record, which a little more information can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akashic_records.

In metaphysical terms the Akashic record is a library of all knowledge and thought forms that are or will ever be, some postulate that an individual can read, observe and touch these records through astral travel, meditation, and deep hypnosis.  I think that these are just some of the ways that a person or individual can touch this information.  But, I also think that at times this information flows through the spiritual plane, and into our subconscious while we sleep or rest.  I also think that the further you progress on your journey of enlightenment that our minds open up to more and more of the information  contained in the records.  I also think that as our eyes are open to more of the mysteries of the divine, God grants us more and more clarity on the things of nature that we have to deal with.

It is also my belief that as you embark on your own spiritual journey and quest for enlightenment.  God, the Divine, or Light, or however you define your own deity, puts others into our life to help us along our road and journey.  I believe that there are 3 different kinds of people that come in and out of our lives, they stay for a time and move on once they have accomplished what they have been place for.  You will find if you are observant, that you are never alone on your journey,  there are always 2 others that are with you.  You and these other two may switch roles from time to time, but if you really look you will see that they are there.  On your journey you may find someone that can mentor and teach you, the fill the role of teacher, and you would be the student, and the other person is your confidant a friend or person you can discuss things with and confide in.  As I have told you these roles are interchangeable and you may find yourself at times the teacher, or the student, or a confidant.

Remember that each person comes into your life at different times to fill different needs that you are facing.  They help you and you help them in an endless cycle. I believe that through experience and conscious thought we learn the things that we are meant to learn. As these people come in and out of your life there is nothing saying that they won't come back and in a different role.  I believe that at times we maybe the teacher, explaining our path and what we have learned to a student, and at other times we are the student and we find that we have something to learn from our previous student, and don't be surprised if your friend and confidant becomes a teacher or a student from time to time.  There is nothing saying that you will always be surrounded by the same people, remember everyone comes and go through our life in their allotted time and only for as long as they are needed.

You may not understand what I am trying to explain, but it is rather easy.  The Bible tells us that we are never given more than we can bear, and I believe this to be the honest truth.  In addition to God being with us always, I believe that we are always surrounded by help if we just look for it.  God provides for us even when we don't ask for it. It is up to us to understand and accept the blessings that He grants us.  But it takes prayer and openly listening for the answers.  Please remember that when Christ was on the cross He promised to send us the Comforter, and I believe that the Holy Ghost is who He sent to help guide us and comfort us in His absence, and it is the Holy Spirit and the angels that bring each of these individuals into our life to help us along our spiritual road and journey.

I also want you to realize that it is never to late to start on your journey, and never to late to learn that which is necessary for us to succeed in our mission.  I told you once before in my blog entry on "Crucible of life" that we have all signed a spiritual contract and we have a job or part to play while we are here on earth.  It is also my firm belief that we have to learn by doing and experiencing life.  I believe that pain is the impetus to help us learn and reinforce the lessons that we have experienced.  When I tell you that it is never too late for you to start your journey and complete your mission, I mean it.  Let me give you an example of what I mean.  Let us turn our attention back to the Bible and the story of Moses.  Because it is his life that has given me the inspiration to realize that our education is on-going and life long.  Moses for the first 40 years of his life, he was raised as a child of the Pharoah, given the education of royalty, including Egyptian mysticism and how to rule the people.  However, when he was 40 he witnessed a slave being beaten, and he got so angry and killed the taskmaster that was abusing the slave.  Moses was then a murder and an outcast and had to give up his home in the palace and flee into the desert.  Where he wandered and lived for another 40 years.  During this time Moses learned how to survive and negotiate the wilds of the desert. All of this was future preparation for the task that he was yet called upon to do.  Now, you can imagine Moses' surprise when God called upon him to lead His people out of bondage from Egypt.  Moses was 80 years old at this time and thought that he was too old, and didn't know how he was going to do what he was told he must do.  He thought that maybe Lot, or Aaron were better suited for the job, but God insisted.


You want to know why?  The answer was simple, Moses had the knowledge and training that was needed. He knew how the Pharoah would react, he knew the tricks that Pharoah's magicians would use and could counter them, and most importantly Moses knew the desert and the wilds that the people would have to face while fleeing.  As I have said we are never given more than we can bear, we are well trained and suited for the job that is ahead of us.  Just as Moses had Aaron and Lot with him, I too believe that we have 2 who are going to be with us.  As I have said that our roles may change over the course of our journey, they will remain the same.  One of will be the teacher, and other a student and finally someone who we can confide in and will help us understand what we are about.  As our roles change so might the people that fulfill them, but trust me there is always going to be two around you to help you through all things.


Now, with all of this being said, I am not sure if the Akashic Record exist or not,  but as I explained in yesterday's discussion that the only thing that have permanence in this world are ideas or thought forms, I would assume that they have to be part of this record.  My reasoning behind this is we are creatures of energy, housed and contained within a shell of flesh, as I have stated before, as the body dies and fails, the energy that is us still remains.  It is further my understanding that energy follows the natural law of conversion, that it can neither be created or destroyed just manipulated and changed. If this is the case then when our body finally gives our the energy creature that is us truly moves on to another level of existence.  I also pointed out that our beliefs have power and energy of their own, and if enough people believe in something that thing will come into existence.  Therefore, if our thoughts and beliefs are energy, they too have to go somewhere and come from somewhere, and that place is what I called yesterday our 2 fold reality.  


Again, this is just something that I am exploring and have some belief in. I am not asking you to believe as I do, but I would like to know you thoughts on this.  Like I said, my origin is based in Christianity though I have adopted or collect other parts of religious beliefs to help me round out and understand God and the Philosophical and Spiritual Journey we all must travel.  Therefore, I can compare the spiritual realm that I have referred to as the Christian Heaven, or liken it to the astral plane of the mystics, but to me they are one and the same and I believe that they are the layer that overlaps our physical reality.  I believe that Plato is partially correct that we cannot transfer knowledge from teacher to student directly, that all things that are learned must be experience and discovered through ourselves.  But I think a teacher is a vital part of the equation and helps us understand that which we are experiencing and helps us to absorb and integrate our learning into our daily lives.  Plus, I believe that this journey of life is but one aspect on the road toward enlightenment and higher learning and knowledge that will help us in our transition from this plane of existence to the next.  It is also my contention that we never stop learning and if we do then we are not living, but merely existing.  


Our road is not an easy one, and sometimes the path is hard to find and definitely harder to follow once we are on it. But we are not ever alone on our journey, we are given assistance and help when we need it.  People come into our lives for a brief time that is allotted them and then they move on.  Some will be with us way longer than others, and then there maybe some that come and go, but are always near. Lastly, I believe that no matter where we are at on our journey, that God is always with us, and carries us and gives us the strength we need and the encouragement to continue.  Remember that the road you are on is a road of enlightenment, which is a journey to further and gain knowledge, and as you progress along this road you are going to receive direct spiritual guidance and come to know the creator and all things in nature. This is the path that was set for us when Adam and Eve were cast from the Garden of Eden and it is what defines us and makes us human. We are not angels or divine beings with the knowledge of good and evil that was not granted to us.  But we were granted dominion over the earth and all things in it. As can be found in Genesis.  It is our duty to protect that which has been give us, and do that we must learn and grow from that education.  The earth is our home and the only one we have been give, we are the caretakers and the custodians, and we haven't done a really good job taking care of it.


So please keep these things in mind as you embark upon your journey, remember what I have said, and I am sure over time you will come to see things in a different and much more enlightened light.  When you do be sure to keep your eyes and heart on God because through His Divine Grace He will reveal all things.

Again, I look forward to hearing from you, please leave a comment and join my blog.  I want to hear from you, and I would love to hear your opinions, concerns, feedback, criticisms or whatever else you would like to say to me.  All I am doing is trying to share what I have learned with you.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

2 fold reality..thought forms, and permanence

Yesterday, I spoke about beliefs and believing, and how I wanted to talk about reality.  I also told you that I was basing my understanding on Plato's Allegory of the Cave.  I am not sure how many of you have read it, but I want to give you a synopsis of it here, so that you might be able understand where I am coming from, and where I am heading in this discussion.

Before, I do that however, I want you to realize that this is for discussion purposes, and I do solicit and request your feedback and comments. This is a spiritual journey we are on, and I would love to have others opinions and questions, as well as comments on this.  Remember that nothing you say is going to be judged against you.  I would like this to be an exercise in learning and expanding our personal vision and understanding of what reality is, and how it interacts with us.

Plato wrote the Allegory of the Cave in his work called the Republic and the central characters in this allegory are Socrates, who by the time of this writing had already died, and Plato's cousin Glaucon. Steven Kreis wrote in his lecture on Modern European Intellectual History (2000).  " In the Allegory of the Cave, Plato described symbolically the predicament in which mankind finds itself and proposes a way of salvation. The Allegory presents, in brief form, most of Plato's major philosophical assumptions: his belief that the world revealed by our senses is not the real world but only a poor copy of it, and that the real world can only be apprehended intellectually; his idea that knowledge cannot be transferred from teacher to student, but rather that education consists in directing student's minds toward what is real and important and allowing them to apprehend it for themselves;".  

The Allegory of the cave presents a group of people that are living in a cave from birth. They are chained and forced to look at a blank wall, they have no way of moving or looking elsewhere.  The mouth of the cave opens up to the light, but between our chained assembly is a walk way that separates them from a huge and roaring fire.  It is across this walkway that others carry and drag things and objects across, which cause shadows to form on the wall in front of the assembly, as these objects were being carried across and their reflections being seen by the assembly.  Over time the assembly would come to recognize and describe these shadows and name them, when asked what the shadows were they could guess as to the object being displayed along the wall.  Sounds associated with the crossing would also help and cue the assembly in their identification.  Now, imagine if you will that one of the assembly was taken by force and dragged from the cave into the light.  Plato theorized that they would not be able to see at first because their eyes were not accustomed to the light, and would be terrified, though as the pain lessened and they would began to see things, and they would not recognize them, for they had only known the shadows on the wall, but as they were introduced to the items they would come to understand and see them for what they were, but would not believe it at first because they had only known the shadows. Remember that their reality was only that of shadows, so physical forms would be dismissed as fake.  Though with time and patience, they would soon grasp that the forms were one and the same, and would not if taken back into the dark forget and be able to play the game of shadows with his fellows that have never left the cave because his eyes have been opened to a different sight.  Plato also theorized that the ones that had never left the cave would not believe the one who had left saying his site was corrupted and that his version of the truth could not be correct.  Therefore, because their reality was challenged and the one that had left was no longer part of the collective they would seek to kill him, because he was wrong.  

Please keep in mind that this is my own interpretation from reading the Allegory, and if you would like to read it for yourself, I would ask that you do so.  For the version I have presented here is condensed and paraphrased by me, but it is enough for me to draw the points out that I would like to convey.  If you would like to read excerpts of either Steven Kreis's lecture or Plato's Allegory of the cave I invite you to check out this link http://www.historyguide.org/intellect/allegory.html.  

Now what I would like to do is break this down a little for you, because I find that those chained in the cave and learning in the darkness is humanity as a whole and we learn by what is revealed by our senses.  Though I also believe that it is true that nothing in this world hold permanence because just as with the images on the cave wall, and the items that were shown the escapee, they corrupt, rust, crumble, decay and fade away.  However, in the true spiritual world the idea, or concept remains, and therefore is the truth.  This might be hard for you to understand, but I will try and make it easy.  Philosopher's refer to what I am talking about is thought forms, I call them base objects.  These base objects are the ideas that we use to create things.  Therefore, the idea is what is permanent, not the actual object themselves.  From the idea more objects can be created and made.  Therefore as long as someone can remember the idea or base object that object can still exist.  An example of this is a chair, we all know what a chair is, we know that it is eventually going to rip, tear-up, get broken or disintegrate, unfortunately time has a way of doing that to all things including the human body.  However, a new chair can be created to replace the old chair.  Why can we create a new chair because we know of the concept or idea of the chair, it is the thought form or base object that is remembered and passed on.    

What I am trying to tell you is that there seems to be a 2 fold reality at work in our universe, there is the one that we can see, touch, taste and smell, but that is just a mere reflection of the true reality that is made of thoughts, ideas, energy.  As humans we rely on our senses to show us and guide us, it is how we learn, but there is more to the learning, and we have to leave the darkness of our cave and climb into the light. Though it maybe painful, and we have to wait for our eyes to adjust to the brightness and the pain, then we have to learn it all over again.  Because what we have known as reality and truth, is not entirely accurate.  This is the philosophers journey, but is also a spiritual journey toward enlightenment, and a closer understanding of the divine.  I believe that which we live and reside in is our physical reality, but there is a spiritual plane of existence that is super imposed upon this one.  It is here where the angels and God reside, it is where our prayers, meditations and desires are manifest.  I also believe that the universe has constant laws that are opposite between both realities.  If you go back and look at my blog entries on "Creative Visualization" you will see the law of attraction and how in the physical reality or plane of existence opposites attract, such as when you hold a negative and positive end of a magnet toward each other.  In the spiritual reality or plane of existence the inverse happens, like attracts like and negative attracts negative.  

I am hoping that you can see what I am trying to say.  If you were the person that was taken from the cave and shown all the things that you once saw and thought of as real were not, and come to realize that all that you have known was wrong, could you go back into the cave and see the same things, I don't think you could.  Because once you have seen what is real the reflections of them would no longer be relevant to you.  I believe it is the same with any revelation. Once your eyes are open to the truth you can no longer go back to seeing them the way you once did.  When you take your first steps on your journey your eyes may not understand what they are seeing, and you may even doubt, but as you keep going you are going to realize that what you once thought was reality, isn't.  No matter how much you want to go back and liberate those that you left behind on your journey.  They aren't going to see the same things as you, you are going to be different, and they won't accept or believe you until they start their own journey.

A friend of mine wrote to me on Facebook that he was glad to see that I am taking everything with a positive attitude.  My response was that it is hard to see the negative side of things anymore because so many wonderful things have been happening.  It is true, I don't look at things the same way I once did, because I don't see them the same exact way.  I don't see the negative, I only see the good things that have come from my journey.  I know this all sounds so confusing and hard to understand.  But as you progress and make your own journey you are going to see that your attitude as well as your vision changes.  Things that were once so bothersome, are now small and mundane, and are mere reflections of a much larger picture.

Even if you don't agree with me, I hope that you will take some time and research what I have been talking about.  Maybe you will come away with something different from the Allegory of the Cave then I did, and I hope that you will be willing to share it with me.

I hope you will come back tomorrow, because I want to focus a little bit on what Plato was talking about when he was speaking on education and learning. Because I believe that learning and education are an important part of understanding the journey that we are on in this life.  I also believe that as we learn and grow, we mature, and tend to comprehend more, and when that comprehension builds it drives us toward further enlightenment.  The more enlightened we become the more we understand.  

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Beliefs and Believing are they the same thing?

I was thinking about how I wanted to open up this discussion that I have been kicking around about Reality, but it dawned on me that as with all things reality is based on perception and beliefs.  So I decided that I needed to backtrack just a bit and discuss beliefs and believing, because most people think that they mean the same thing.  Most would be incorrect in that assumption though, because the human mind works in such a way that we can believe something differently then the belief in which is is founded. You might think that this is a play on words, but it is truly remarkable how the human mind has the ability to compartmentalize and evaluate different concepts and assign a value to them, which later become ingrained in our own belief system and structure.

See a belief is something that we have either learned or experienced, it is first hand knowledge of something that has happened or transpired.  Whereas, believing in something is an act of faith in some cases, and in others is just a reinforcement of a belief that has been experienced.  Taking religion as a basis for this discussion, I can show you the difference between a belief and believing in something.  There is however an inherent danger in beliefs and believing, because believing in something gives it strength and power.  It is also possible to manifest or create a believe and bring it into existence.  All of this I will try to demonstrate and explain.  It is upon this type of idea and abstraction that the current religion is based.  For the majority of people there are two primary and competing religions in the world.  Now, I said for the majority, I want to clarify that there are other religions out there and belief structures, and I am not trying to say one is better than the others, or any of them are right or wrong.  My personal beliefs are actually a culmination of several beliefs and structures, but that is for another time.  What I can say is that I was born into a Christian home, I was taught from the Bible and I have maintained that core in my own personal belief structure, though I have incorporated and utilize different portions of faiths and religions to build and customize my own way of thought and living.  I uses Buddist chanting and meditation techniques and I incorporate Wiccan ceremony and rituals into my own life.  I am not asking anyone to follow me in my pursuit because it is mine and mine alone.

Yet, I have come to realize that I can believe one thing and have a belief in another, and both can exist and be correct at the same time.  You might think that this is impossible but it is not.  I can also believe in something and have no discernible proof that it exists.  This bridging of fact and belief is called an intellectual synthesis.  Sir Thomas Aquinas created a synthesis that allowed science and religion to co-exist together.  He postulated that science was only furthering to prove the existence of the Divine and in such pursuits God Himself.  Because of this new found belief Reason was no longer thought to be the enemy of faith, but rather that reason would expand and explain faith.  It also brought about the renewed change in thought of the time that  philosophy was no longer the enemy of theology, but would also expand it and broaden it's reach. Though theology is often time a part of philosophy the depth and breadth of philosophy reaches far further.  For philosophy is reason personified and rational and irrational thought studied and followed to it's conclusion.

It is important for you to understand that you can have a belief while believing in something else entirely.  Just because you believe that God speaks to you through prayer, doesn't mean that you can't believe that he talks to someone else through meditation and divination.  It is elusive to describe in detail what I am trying to say because beliefs and believing in something are very personal and deeply ingrained in us, whether by, culture or denomination or even religious devotion. You might even liken a belief to a personal conviction.  By doing so you make it exclusively your's, and that conviction can be a part of a greater belief and it be right for you but only you.  However, by believing in something you are giving it energy and life. I am asking you to trust me that believing is different than having a belief but as I sit here trying to force my mind around it, I keep looping back.

I guess what I am trying to say is having a belief is personal where believing in something means you take part in it.  What comes to mind is that I believe there are ghost and spirits in this world that interact with us.  However, because I am a believing Christian, I am taught that there aren't.  The same aspect could be true.  I am a believing Christian, but there is no empirical evidence or proof that God or Heaven exists.  Where are the graves and markers of the Saints?  We are to believe without seeing which is called faith, but isn't faith another world for belief?  I think it is.  I also think that having a belief in something and believing in something are two separate things.  I also believe that this is made possible by the fact that our brain can think, rationalize, analyse and process information on several different levels that let us be able to accept incongruous things.

Therefore, it is possible for two people to have differing belief's yet believe in the same thing. Just look at church denominations.  The all believe in God, but they have different approaches and internal dogmas that make them separate.  Because I am a member of the Church it is said that I am a believer, but depending on my denomination my belief may differ from another believer and we both might be correct.  This little tidbit of knowledge is hard to grasp, and I have explained it as well as I can to help you understand what I have been trying to say.

Because what I am leading up to is that I believe that there are different types of realities that exist simultaneously and each are perceived and interpreted by the brain differently depending on you level of enlightenment.  This is just the first in a little series I want to explore on reality. I am basing what I am writing about on "Plato's Allegory of the Cave".  

 I hope that I have intrigued you enough, or maybe even confused you enough that you will want to come back and follow the next few blog entries that are going to deal with the spiritual journey and the path towards enlightenment. What tools we have at our disposal, and how the further we go on this journey different things will start to look, and how our understand of what we perceive as reality may in-fact be just a shadow of the real world hidden behind.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B