I learned something valuable during my misadventures, I learned that people are not who they are during your last conversation with them, they are who they have always been throughout your entire relationship. Things don't change just because of the heat of the moment. They don't change because someone is angry, or sad, desperate or alone. The person who you are talking to at that moment is the product of the emotions and situation that they find themselves in. What remains at the end of the day is who they have always been. You will find that anyone can say anything in the heat of the moment. They say things to hurt when they are hurt, they encourage when they see inspiration, and they are supportive when they feel supported.
The person you know is the same person, take them at their word, believe them at the moment, because what they are feeling is true for them. However, you must remember that after the moment passes, the anger has flared and the temper has died down, they are going to be the same consistent person they have always been. There will be posturing and apologies on both parts, but in the end their strength of character will shine through. Trust me when I tell you that the person you have always known, the person who has demonstrated time and again their unfailing and unflagging self, is going to return. They are going to be consistent with whom they have always been.
It is my belief that people are essentially good and that circumstances and situations make them act in certain ways, sometimes there are external influences that might trigger a sort of behavior that is uncharacteristic with their altruistic nature. One such influence is drugs, but as I said earlier when all is said and done you will see that the person you know and trust is still there behind the mask of anger and drug induced haze. My friends in Atlanta reacted to my situation with sympathy and compassion in almost all cases, except for the one person who thought that I was so much more than what they were seeing. It is true that I am a person of integrity and self-confidence, however, even the most dire circumstances are enough to make one question their beliefs and integrity.
I am guilty of feeling sorry for myself and indulging in a serious case of self pity. However, I do realize that the battle that was going on inside of my mind was evident to all those around me, and when my doubts surfaced, I realized that I had shown my own weakness. In the long run it was their faith in me and the strength they lent me that made it possible for me to carry on. The last words that were spoken between me and my friend Tony were less than pleasant and that I took them seriously too heart at the moment they were spoken. I have since re-evaluated my situation and the words that were spoken, I have come to realize that I shouldn't have put so much stock into what was said as I should have the person who was speaking them. I now know the difference and I know that he was hurting as much as I was at the moment the words were said. I do know that Tony is the same person today, as He was the day I met him and will continue to be the same person, that the words that were spoken have different meaning to me today, as they did that day I left.
So don't judge too harshly what was spoken to you, remember who has said them, remember who they have been throughout your whole relationship and you will see the person that has always been there. I hope you understand what this simple lesson has taught me and what I have learned. Trust your friends and they will be there for you when you need them.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,