Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Pulling it together

You know every time you fall apart when a crisis comes your way or you hit a brick wall in your life.  I want to talk to you about that today.  See, emotions play a big factor in how we handle what life throws at us.  I once told you that you are measured by the grace in which you rise from your problems or when you hit rock bottom.  What I mean by this is that you are not judged by what you are gong through but how you handle the situation with grace and tact.  It takes you 10 times longer to pull yourself together once you have fallen apart.

Now, you may be wondering what I am talking about when I say falling apart.  Not everyone of us falls to pieces when trouble comes our way. However, as humans we have to factor in the emotional state of the person that is having the problem.  See emotions play a significant part in how you handle a situation.  How many times have I told you that you need to calm down, count to 100 or just divorce your feelings from the situation?  A lot!  It is not only important for you to tackle the problem clear headed and unemotional as it is for the others that you are dealing with.

I know that I used to hold my emotions in.  I wouldn't tell anyone when I was upset.  However, what was happening someone else would come along and do something so minor that it triggered an explosion from me.  That's right little old me would blow up at the least little thing and what I found out was I was taking my anger, frustrations and guilt out on the wrong party.  The person who was facing the brunt of my anger was not who I was truly angry with. This is what I am trying to help you avoid.  Put te blame where the blame is due, don't hold anything in, take care of the situation as it happens and you will see how much better you feel.  It took me a long time to be able to express how I am feeling, I am a person that doesn't like confrontations and I try to avoid them at all costs.  However, it is in my best interest to let my feelings out when the issue arises because I don't want the wrong person to get my wrath when they didn't really do anything to deserve it.

I have told you before that you have to analyze a situation from every angle.  Step outside of the box and look at the issue from a different perspective.  I know it is hard to do, but if you can get past the emotional side of things and express your feelings either to yourself or to your partner and come at it with a clear head you will begin to see that the mountain you thought you were facing has many different options for getting past it.  We all seem to take our personal problems and make them out to be bigger than they really are.  I know that I do it. I take a molehill and make it a mountain when I am emotional about the situation, however once I calm down and start to think about the issue or problem with my rational thought and clear mind I begin to see the root of the problem and the many ways that I can fix or address it.  But, it I come at it with my emotions raw and I am hurting, I just may say something or do something that I might regret later on.  Remember it is not what you say but how you say it.  Words have power they can cut, destroy and cause wounds that never heal.  So be careful what you say, and keep in mind how biting and sharp your words are and how your tone and inflection might cause someone else pain.  Your attitude plays a major role in this process.

Once I get out what I have to say, my mind reacts like nothing ever happened.  I snap back to my up beat happy self like the issue was never there.  I am one of the few people that can do that.  If someone does something too me and I have an issue with it, if I address it right then and there and get out what I have to say about the problem, five or ten minutes later I am fine and have moved on like nothing ever happened.  I know a lot of you aren't like that and it takes you a lot longer to get over something, you have some animosity and feel a certain way about the situation for a while. However, eventually you get over it and move on.  Now, how do I accomplish this feat?  It really isn't that complicated really.  I just remember what I keep telling you that this too shall pass and I keep my head down and continue moving forward.  It is the only thing I know to do, and I don't like having a burden or grudge so I get rid of it as quickly and efficiently as I can.

It important to take away from this that no matter what the situation is, if you can keep your emotions out of it and can tackle it with a rational mind and clear head you will find that you won't fall to pieces every time something bad comes your way.  Remember it takes 10 times longer to pull yourself together when you fall apart.  Emotions play a significant role in causing us to lose focus on the issue and tends to magnify it a thousand fold.  Everything has it season and everything passes, you will survive and it will pass.  Wait and see.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B