Do you believe in miracles? I have to tell you that I do, I believe in big miracles as well as small miracles. See, when the sun rises in the morning I count that as a miracle and my eyes opening up to see the sun crest the horizon is a blessing. I see the bud's of the tree blossoming as a miracle, how the winter turns to spring as a miracle. You may not, but I do these are little miracles that happen around us, yet we are too busy to see them or notice them. Then there are the big OMG miracles. Like, when I had my aneurysm and I had all those many blood transfusions, I know it was an Angel that came to me and saved my life. Because there is no record of this nurse working on that floor or any other floor that very night and when I asked no one knew who she was or where she came from. Now, this is not the first time that I have had an intervention like that, but I sure hope it is the last.
I keep telling you that God's time is not our time, that He comes and does as He wills, yet He is always on time and never late. I have been told all my life that I was an Angel here on earth, that I was born to ease the suffering of others and you know what? That is exactly what I have been doing my entire life and never even knew it. My grandmother told me this the day she died. I didn't understand what she meant, but I do now. Most of you know me personally or have read my blog and know of me. I have walked a dark and lonely road, but a road of my own choosing. I chose to walk along the drug dealers, the addicts, the prostitutes, yet in all of that I never lost the sight in my Lord and Savior, and those who came to know me saw the light that show inside of me, and gravitated to the positive energy I have always displayed.
No matter the circumstances, I have always maintained a positive outlook and attitude for those around me to see. Very few people have ever seen me down for long, and if they have then they were very special people to me indeed. God has granted me patience and discernment, and a slight ability to prophesy, but the most important thing that God has given me is the ability to excel under stress and pressure. People that I used to work with at the State of Georgia used to call me a miracle worker and when I was in the Navy I could pull things together fast. I learned who my key resources were and I just utilized them to my benefit, and I still do some of that in limited form today in my current life.
But, most importantly I am happy to say that when my world got a little darker yesterday afternoon. I couldn't shake the nagging fear I was feeling nor could I get over the fact that I had been down this exact road not too very long ago, I wanted to bemoan and lament that it wasn't fair that I didn't want to do it again, and why me? But something most extraordinary happened this very evening as I was sitting here writing my first blog entry. I heard from someone who I had not thought I would ever hear from again. Someone I had once counted as a friend who I accidentally betrayed and sent away. It is sad but true we had parted on extremely bad terms, and I have had to deal with the guilt of that for almost 2 years. As he got out of my car he turned and he looked at me and told me that I wasn't acting very much like a best friend, with that he closed the door and left me and that was the last time I laid eyes on him. Yet, today a day when the world seemed to be crashing around my ears, the words that the doctors had told me yesterday were finally sinking in and I was feeling more and more like my life was spinning out of control my phone rang, and on the other end was the friend that I thought I had lost, and he was in trouble. He needed me and I realized that I needed him just as much.
Funny how God has done that to the two us, there have been several times in our past that we have needed each other. For years and years we had been there for each other and I let someone else into my life, and that person I don't know why or how colored my eyes against my friend and didn't want me to have anything to do with him. I got mad at the wrong person and I did things that I am not proud of at all. I turned my back on a friend, I didn't even listen to what he had to tell me. I made a snap and summary judgement because the person I was dating was trying to manipulate me and he did a good job. As a matter of fact he almost destroyed me, and he damn near killed my friendship with this person. Yet today when my mood was feeling low, and I was trying how I was going to handle all this knowledge that I had gotten from the doctor yesterday my phone rang and it was my friend Victory! He would kill me if he was here right now and saw the name that I have given him. But let me tell you something as far as I am concerned his is my Victory and my Triumph over this dread spirit that had come over me. I had just tried to get in touch with him over the past weekend and out of the clear blue sky, my phone rang and it was him. I am telling you it was a miracle, God knew what He was doing and He knew exactly who and what I needed to snap me out of this funk that was tangling me up in it's clutches.
I have to tell you that if ever 2 people needed each other it was the two of us. I had been feeling guilty about the past, and worried about the future. He was sitting in custody where he had been for 10 months, and he just tried my number after all of this time. Once I heard his voice and knew what he needed I didn't hesitate at all I sprang into action. Within 2 hours I had talked to his mom, and the bondsman and knew that I was going to get him out of jail. It would take me and his mom working together to pull this off but I knew what I was going to do before he even asked. I am waiting for him to be released now. I wish he was here, so I could honestly tell him thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I think we have saved each other several times over the years, but today he saved me from my own worst enemy...myself!
I have to take a brief moment here and say "Thank you my Heavenly Father for bringing him back into my life, I am so glad that I was here to help when I was needed. You have sustained me and made it possible for all of these things to fall in place. I never knew why you brought Lonnie and Alicia into my life but now I do, You did it so I would know who to call and what to do when today came. Had it not been for the training and the ropes that those two put me through I would never have been able to accomplish everything that I did tonight. So thank you Lord for this training and blessing, I am sorry I have ever doubted that You. I should have known that You kept me here just for this very moment." Amen.
Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years and was humbled and trained to lead the children of Israel home from Egypt. I was held in place and kept from moving on so that I could be in this exact place at the moment that I was needed. There can be no other explanation, I had planned to move to PA and I have kept trying to get off of probation so I could go help my mother, yet something had tied me to Holly Hill and I haven't left yet. It was the Hand of God restraining me and keeping me till I was needed. I am thankful that I was here and that I was able to do my part. I needed to hear my friends voice today, and he needed me. So if you ask me that was definitely a miracle in and of itself.
So yes I believe in miracles, I believe that they happen around us everyday all day, and we are too wrapped up in ourselves and in our own lives that we miss them, but they are there if we just take some time and slow down long enough to appreciate them. I have to tell you that today is one of the happiest days of my life. It is not everyday that God grants you the ability to correct a wrong that you have committed against another person. It also isn't too often that things fall into the right place so that we are available to respond to another person's need. I am truly blessed that both of these things were available to me.
I have learned my lesson of that you can be sure, and I will never miss another miracle that comes my way, because I know what to look for now big and small.
I hope you do too.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,