After watching the Librarians tonight on TNT I began to really understand the power and spirit of Christmas. Saint Nick's power comes from all around the world. He collects that magical moments and love that are displayed throughout the whole year and at Christmas time when the spirit is the lowest and despair creeps in Saint Nick travels the world and delivers love, hope, faith and anything else that is needed.
Sometimes, it might be a Christmas wish, other times it might be the courage to put down that point and walk away from meth. It maybe the need strength that the Alcoholic needs to put down the bottle or that person thinking about suicide to walk away and live. All these things are what Christmas Spirit is all about.
People don't understand me. They don't get me, and most of the time the miss the big picture. Everywhere I go I spread love joy and hope. I go back to the nursing home and I give back to those that took the time and encouraged me to go further than I thought I ever could. I was pushed, I was made to think and achieve things that I thought impossible. I never once believed them when I was told that I would never walk again and with the help of my physical therapist Grace and her assistant Dewayne, I am out of the wheel chair within 3 weeks and I have never gone back.
No matter where I go I always reach out my hand and help those around me that I can. It doesn't matter what life they lead, what they have done in the past and where they are headed. I have been as my grandmother called it an Angel on Earth. I bring comfort, peace and compassion with me where ever I go. My time on earth is running very low and I know that a great burden is going to be past on. I know that my nephew Kodi is ready for this, even though he doesn't think he is and by his will and strength alone I believe he has kept me here on this earth. Before he moved he told me and begged me to not let the burden pass to him until he was ready. I have seen his journey and I am so very proud of him.
He definitely turned into the man that I dreamed he would be. He has been faithful and loving and though all relationships have problems him and his girlfriend Annie has managed to keep it going and now their lives are going to be filled with a new life. My line has not ended and the power that God has granted me will be passed on to my nephew. His mother was my half sister, but when he came to me at the age of 13 I never thought of him as anything less than my own son. He has been trained and he knows how I have operated my entire life. He will find his own way to use the power that is going to be passed on to him. He is a special person and anyone who has met him will know what I mean.
So what does all of this have to do with the Spirit of Christmas? Am I am claiming that I am Saint Nick? No I am not him, I wish I had his job it is much easier than the path that I was given. Kodi will have it so much easier because he will have families and children to help that is the path that I see for him. God selected me to live and walk with the prostitutes and drug dealers. I have saved many, lost a few and even one in the last week. I am saddened by the loss. Kodi would know him as Rob the boot camp trainer that he met so long ago, and the guy that took him to school when we lived over on Buford Highway.
So why am I talking about this? What does it have to do with Christmas spirit. Well let me tell you. Every person I help, every life I encounter and interact with is enriched, changed and never is the same again. I have to say that even though I spent a long time in the nursing home they were all sad to see me leave, and are so excited when I come back and visit. You see I come and see those that have no family, have no visitors, who are shut-ins and left behind. I bring them the love that is in my heart and I spend time with each of them. There is not a one of the people in that home that I haven't met, who doesn't know who I am and whose life I have not touched in some way.
As God would have it I had a voice in my head telling me to go to the nursing home a couple of Sunday's ago, I wasn't feeling well, but I listened to that voice and I was able to see Jeanine Jacobs, I was granted the ability to tell her that I loved her and spend some time with her. See she died that following Wednesday, and the sad part was she thought she was getting better and was going home on Friday and she passed away on Wednesday. I miss her a lot and I give thanks to God that I was able to tell her that I loved her and was glad to see her before she parted this world.
Christmas Spirit is the spirit of love, it gifts those with special gifts the ability to help, guide and even manipulate and change the fate of those around them. We never interfere unless asked, and we never do anything against another persons will or wishes. Some of us are gifted with the ability to change life's just by being in them. Kodi and I come from a long line of Guardians and we have the ability to do all of the things that I have mentioned above. Just by being in someone's life we can change if for the better. Though often times we are selves are struggling and having hardships the ones we care about around us are doing better. I have been rich, I have been poor, I have been happy and I have had my share of hardships. But, I am very rarely a negative person and I am the type of person that other positive people gravitate towards. The love and family spirit, the gift giving and the magic of Christmas is increased at the end of the year because it is the one point in the year when the magic of earth is at the lowest.
Which is why we make resolutions on New Year's because the residual magic of Christmas is still lingering and can make those resolutions come true, the secret to that is being 100 percent open and honest with yourself. You will see that this time of year is the time when Families get together all around the world and the love that is shared is poured into the earth and allows people like me to do my job the rest of the year long.
Upon my death my gifts', abilities and premonitions will be passed on to the heir and since the only child I have ever had was my sisters the gifts shall fall too him. He is more ready then he knows and I have faith that he will be a better and stronger Guardian than I ever was. He will be remembered and just as I will live on in him, he will live on in the lives of those he touches. None of us ever truly leave the earth, we are kept alive in the memories of those whose live we have touched, interacted with and have changed.
My grandfather told me that a man doesn't leave his mark upon the world by how much he accumulates, how much money, property and wealth he has, but by how many lives he has touched and how many people will remember him when he is gone. I believe that this to be true and solid and I hope that I will be remembered always.
Before I close this post I thought I would sneak in what the definition of what a Guardian is. Much like the Masons, Elks, and other societies you have to be indoctrinated into it. You become part of it by being invited in by the head priestess or you are born into the order because of the lineage of your family. Kodi, Kevin, Eric and Myself are the last of the Guardian line in my immediate family, and though I lost touch with my cousin Eric over the years I know he has 12 kids and at least 2 of them will have the power and gift that my grandmother passed on to him and me both. My brother Kevin is focused in his world and already doing his part. He cannot inherit my gifts it doesn't work that way when he already has his own. My gifts will add to the natural gifts of Kodi and he will be more than he is. It will be confusing at times and hard to understand, but like me he will figure out the best use for his gifts and will be able to make changes in the world. A Guardian is neither Good nor Evil. We are balancers of the between the two. A Guardian never lets good get the upper hand on Evil and vice versus. We are punished for certain reasons, which I will not put in here, but Kodi knows.
So there you have it.
What is the Christmas Spirit all about? Bringing families together in love and joy, to spread the bond of love and magic and make it last the entire year. Guardians help move the power of this love magic along and influence when and where we can.
As always you hopes and dreams are with you,