Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Is dimensional travel possible? Open your mind and the rest will follow!"

What is mad?  crazy, insane, without conscious purpose, truly an anomaly.  Mad is a state mind, a journey to the outer limits of conscious reality.  Some say that insanity is repeating the same pattern over and over again expecting a different result.  But what if I tell you that mad, insane, crazy, are all dimensions that the mind can travel.  Free yourself from the restrictions of your conscious self and you can travel there.  Suppress the subconscious and see where you can go.  Other planes of reality are available for you to travel.  Rod Serling once said that it was a journey through sight and sound and a journey to the farther limits of the mind is where the twilight zone resides.

Yet, in America the term mad can refer to an emotion of anger, or refer to a state of mind such as crazy.  So what is right?  Maybe both of these can coexist and be essentially correct. What if I told you that dimensional travel can be accomplished by taking a journey into the depths of your own imagination.  Maybe even time travel could be accomplished by casting your sight and concentration inward because I am convinced that all knowledge has been handed down to each of us from the beginning of time, all because Eve ate from that forbidden fruit.

Indulge me for just a moment to see if you can understand how I have arrived at this conclusion.  Follow me backward in time to the Garden of Eden, the knowledge of good and evil was given to both Eve and Adam through biting the forbidden fruit.  Therefore if all knowledge was given to Eve, it would be easy for that information to be transferred to her offspring through the birth process.  Today scientist debate nature versus nurture, and what is instinctually passed from parent to child.  Let me further expand this conversation by saying that they spark of life that was breathed into man is part of the Divine, and thus is the part of God, that is passed on to each of us.  Some believe that this is the basis for consciousness and self-awareness, it is that very spark of divinity that allows us to access that knowledge.  I have even heard that mystics and seers call this supernatural database of knowledge as the "Akashic Records".   So, if the knowledge and information is passed down via our direct heritage from Adam and Eve it would be accessible by anyone born today.

I heard a song once that said "Free your mind and the rest will follow" which gives us the basic instructions on how to access this hidden knowledge.  Or if you would like allows individuals to access the cosmic database of all thought or knowledge that has come before us and that will come after us.  Every concept that the human mind can conceive either now or in the future is housed in the Akashic Records.  Therefore, if all knowledge is accessible wouldn't it stand to reason that dimensional travel could also be accomplished in a similar fashion.  I have studied extensively western metaphysics and mysticism and I know that astral projection is possible, and has a well documented history.  It is my belief that dimensional travel and possibly even time travel can be accomplished via astral projection.

Now you might be thinking that I am "Mad" or "Insane" or even "Crazy" by believing like this, but my basis for this information is firmly rooted in Christianity and the Bible.  When John was writing about his visions and dreams in Revelations it is my belief that he actually visited the distant future and witnessed and saw first hand the tragedy and possibly even experienced what he later called "Revelations".  Here is what Google defines Revelation as:  a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way. Or the divine or supernatural disclosure to humans of something relating to human existence or the world.

Looking at this definition of Revelation you can begin to see what I am talking about.  In the ancient world the descriptions that unfold in the book of Revelations in the Bible would not have made much sense to the people of the day, and maybe that is why John's work was so ill received at the time.  But in today's context we can see some of the signs and portents that were predicted there coming to fruition today.

But the way that John got his information was not relayed to the reader in words other than "I saw" or "It became known to me"  this seems to me that it meant that he actually either saw physically with his own eyes, or experienced what was to come personally.  Those that we deem mentally unstable, or crazy may in fact be nothing more than closer in tuned with the spiritual than we would feel comfortable with them being.  That person walking down the street talking to themselves may in fact be talking to someone or something that we cannot see or fathom in our own limited understanding of the world and the happenings around us.  Who is to say that person isn't talking to a being from another dimension or to an Angel or even God Himself?

No where in my readings of the Bible explain why the ancients had direct access to God and we don't.  I believe that God does exist and to those that have looked upon His face and seen His glory may be seen as touched or crazy by the standards we have in place today.  The angels still walk the earth, we may not be able to see them anymore because we are locked into our conscious mind and have never learned how to suppress our subconscious.  Throughout history there have been born prodigies that seemed to possess knowledge greater than their education or our understanding and have brought incredible inventions and music and art work into our world.  Maybe these individuals have a unique access to the Akashic Records or have been born with understanding of the knowledge that was passed down through the ages through the divine link.

Keep an open mind, look deep inside of your own mind and explore the further reaches, and see what you come up with. I think you might be surprised that there is a wealth of knowledge at your disposal and you haven't even accessed it yet.  Journey down the road that the philosophers have taken before you and see what you come up with.  I think that all things that the mind can believe and come up with we as individuals can achieve.  It is up to you and how you approach the world. Maybe the final frontier that we need to explore isn't outside of our world but right here in our own mind.  Dimensional and time travel maybe something that once was achieved and forgotten by our earliest ancestors.  If there was a legendary advanced civilization known as Atlantis and Lemuria, it stands to reason that they would have thought of these concepts and have mastered them.

I was taught a great deal about the Island of Lemuria by a good friend that is no longer with us, Jane Ann Dow.   Atlantis and Lemuria were two halves of the same civilization, Atlantis followed science and logic, Lemuria followed the path of metaphysics and spiritualism.  It goes without saying that when their continent was destroyed and disappeared from the face of the earth that the knowledge and understanding as well as spiritual enlightenment that they had achieved also vanished with them.  However, the social consciousness of humanity as a whole has been increasing with leaps and bounds and I honestly believe that we are on the cusp of something spectacular.  If you believe the prophecies of Revelations then we are headed for the second coming of Jesus and the end of our world as we know it.  But what if what was written in Revelations was about an ending to the way that we are living now and the dawn of a whole new era of history one that we cannot even fathom.  Where the spiritual is followed by the majority and a whole paradigm shift takes place and we become as enlightened and as advanced as the Atlantians and the Lemurians.

Wouldn't that be something and our minds are opened to a new realm of possibilities and the blinders from our eyes are taken away.

Please do me a huge favor and open your mind to new possibilities and ideas.  Look deep within yourself and see if you can't find answers to your most basic questions.  Because once you start on that path I think you will see that it becomes more natural for you.   I at least hope that I have opened your eyes to a new world of possibilities and ideas and hopefully you will not judge to quickly or harshly those around you and might experience the joy and wonder of true enlightenment and a closer walk with God.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Uncharted Territory

Friday will be etched in the annals of Gay history in the landmark ruling of the U.S. Supreme court, stating that same-sex marriages were protected under the constitution of the United States. For years the Equality movement has been pushing for rulings like this, along with the Gay Pride festivities that are celebrated in every state in the Union.  However, the Gay community is embarking on a journey into uncharted territory and with the southern states vowing to find away around the ruling, which only further promotes the intolerance, bigotry and hatred of the right wing conservatives and the southern baptist convention.

Many of today's youth who are out revelling in this years pride festivities have no idea of the origins of the pride march, or what happened at Stonewall or even comprehend the battles and sacrifices that we the elders of the Gay community made and suffered during the 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's.  In 2004, the equality movement was formed in San Francisco, California and over the years has been joined by equality groups and marches in just about every city in the world.  The gay movement or equality or equal rights for gays, minorities etc. started in the United States but has become a world-wide theme.  Other countries are more liberal in their ideas and morals on sex so it was an easy foothold for the movement to have spread to those cities and countries.

More and more I see LGBT couples demonstrating their love out in the public domain, and I must say that popular opinion has been more accepting of them.  I have seen movies where there is a gay character and believe it or not gay has been nothing new to Hollywood, check out the movie the "Celluloid Closet" if you have any doubt.  I have heard it said in several movies actors stating "I was out before it became cool to be Gay".  Yes, the tide is turning but we aren't still there yet, there is more to do than having pride celebrations around the country and the world.  We as elders of the gay community must be sure to teach and remind those that are coming up behind us that the freedoms that they are experiencing and celebrating were hard won battles.  People have lost their lives and we need to never forget the dreadful 80's where we lost hundreds if not thousands of our brothers and sisters that fell ill to AIDS. Remind the youth that Pride is more than a big party and concerts and merchandise, it is a movement a social trend, and awakening of the consciousness of the nation and the world that we are here and we are not going away.  There are no closets for us to cower in, we will not be intimidated and fearful because our fathers, brothers, sisters have won these freedoms and we respect the sacrifices and hard won victories that result in the era of calm today.

I was born in 1968, I don't remember the Stonewall Riots in New York and the eruption of indignation that followed and the formation of the movement that would become GAY PRIDE and the battle for EQUALITY, but I was fortunate to have older friends that told me and taught me the meaning of what the nation and our forbears went through to win me the freedom that I see and experience today.  PRIDE is more that a party, it is a victory celebration that denotes all the barriers, prejudice and hatred that we as a community have overcome and survived.  It is also a time for remembering all that have fallen for us. Those that have died because of persecution, hatred and of course bigotry.  Unfortunately, the war hasn't been won yet, and the conservatives and the southern coalition and the baptist are arming for war, we have won a major victory, but with every victory comes casualties.  We as a community must once again join in one voice and denounce the Governors of Texas, Louisiana and any other state that feels that they don't have to uphold the ruling of the Supreme Court.  We must let them know that we will not tolerate their hatred, their bigotry and their idea of right and wrong.  For we as individuals, deserve to be treated fairly, with respect and dignity.

I remember how in 1986 mortuary's and funeral homes often refused to pick up the bodies of those that had died of AIDS, I remember the indignity my own lover endured once he found out he was ill, and I also remember how in the final moments of his life he couldn't remember who he was much less who I was or his parents.  The years of the pain that I have felt as others have judged me and yet I am excited yet frightened at the same time by the ruling that was handed down by the Supreme Court on Friday, because we are heading into uncharted territory.  Now, that the ruling has been handed down and I have seen the reactions of some of the southern states, I am worried that the time might have changed and popular opinion has changed sides, but I know what happened during 1960's when a call to end segregation went out.  How riots rocked cities, and the national guard was called out to enforce the law.  Today we are facing something similar, I believe that there are going to be groups that strike out and violence might erupt.

The Gay community may not be prepared or even aware of the ramifications that this ruling will cause.  But, as I noted the times are changing and more people are open and more accepting today than they have ever been.  I urge caution, understand that changes are going to have to occur nationwide, that state governments as well as municipalities are going to have to change their practices.  There are also now going to be gay divorces and courts are going to have to rule on asset separation, and a paradigm shift is going to have to start from the Capital of the United States down to every local government.  Change is good and is inevitable but remember caution as we move down this road that we have no map or direction, for this is the first time that we have stepped on it.

The road less traveled is often fraught with perils, pitfalls and holes but the reward for following it is so much greater.  Which road will you choose?  Will you journey with the majority or will you walk with me on the path to the uncharted territory, I promise our journey maybe hard, and dangerous, but it will be beautiful and the rewards at the end justify it all.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Have you ever read a good book and hated for it to end?

I discovered an author who lives in Lithonia GA who writes some very deep and interesting fantasy books. Now if you head over to her website you will see that they consider her a teen or young adult author.  Yet, I find her character development and story lines very intriguing and full of colorful imagery and imagination.  She also creates a world that is believable and you feel as if you are transported into that world every time you open up one of her books.  I started reading the "Courtlight Series" about 3 days ago and ripped through them and would love to read the next 3 books in the series however right now I am a bit short on cash and the next 3 in the series are boxed up but cost $8.99.  Which is a good deal if you stop and think about the cost of just one book these days.

Terah Edun is a young adult fantasy writer that writes the stories that she always loved to read as a young girl. Her Courtlight and Crown Service series can be seen on the USA Today Happily Ever After blog and together have sold over 100,000 copies. Her latest book is Sworn To Ascension, the sixth in the Courtlight series. You can find her at twitter.com/tedunwrites or Facebook.com/TerahEdunAuthor.
Most of you know that I am an avid reader and pretty much have a book with me at all times to read.  So you have to know since this is the first author I have bragged about that there must be something special about these books and the stories that are woven in it pages.  True most of my books are in digital or ebook format but the point is that I still read. Very few authors have caught my attention and have me waiting for the next book to come out.  I can name only two others that have affected me that way. The first is Janet Evanovich and her Stephanie Plum novels and Robert Jordan and the Wheel of time series.  Well, I guess there was one other and that would be the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowlings.

So do yourself a favor and check out some of the authors that I have mentioned above.  You also might want to check out the Vampyres of Hollywood by Adrienne Barbeau.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Saturday, June 20, 2015

A fine line between love and hate

I know each of you have heard the old saying that there is a fine line between love and hate, but do you know exactly what this saying means?  I have watched a friend of mine time and time again go back to the man that disrespects, abuses, and cheats on her.  Now, I can understand her desire to keep her family together, she does have 3 children by this man.  But when the children witness the abuse that she suffers time and again. What point do you reach the point that enough is enough.  I have talked to her about her relationship and she told me that she would know when she has reached that point.

It is amazing what a person can endure and suffer just to make someone other than themselves happy.  What bothers me is that if things don't change soon in my friends life I can see that she will eventually walk away.  However, in the meantime she has to worry that her 4 year old daughter who is so much older and smarter than her years can see and knows that her mommy and daddy are not getting along very well.  What damage is being done to this child as she grows older watching her mother suffer quietly at her daddy's hands?  I can tell you that either she is going to develop trust issues, or she is going to accept that what her mother is going through is acceptable behavior and will look for a person just like her dad, and then the chain of abuse just continues.

In my own personal life, I spent 12 years with someone that mentally and physically abused me, I should have left way before I did. But, I had fooled myself into thinking that my partner at that time would change and realize what they were doing to me.  I also believed or taught myself to believe that this was his way of showing his love and affection towards me.  I chose to ignore the warnings and input from my friends and before I realized what was happening I was isolated from my family and friends and moved 400 miles away.  I found myself in a new city with no friends and dependent directly on my partner. I have to say that for the first 5 years of my relationship with him it was all good, the abuse didn't set in right away and was a gradual thing and sort of just snuck up on me.

In actuality my relationship didn't start to turn negative until I started making more money than him and I wanted to assert a bit of independence.  Once, I started realizing that something was wrong I found myself alone and isolated from everyone that cared about me and that I cared about.  By that time I was alone and not really sure what was going on. I just knew that him and I began fighting more and more and couldn't seem to meet on common ground about any situation that came up.  So, yes I am familiar with abuse and failing relationships.  I can also tell you that my experience colored how I reacted to other men that came into my life afterwards.

I was telling my friend just the other day that I truly did understand where she was at, and that I could tell that she was doing exactly what she needed to do to tolerate the situation she has found herself in.  I expressed my fears about what her children were seeing and being exposed too.  I could also tell that she isn't happy where she is at and who she is with and that if she didn't do something about it soon. See I can see that her attitude toward her partner has changed and I know exactly where that is leading her, and I am afraid that she is at the point where the two sides of this fine line meet.  But the approach to the line is filled with only a few possibilities, and that is that change has taken place and contentment and acceptance has been achieved or resentment and intolerance has continued to build up.

One thing that I do know is that the line is different for each person, and varies greatly.  The human heart has a great capacity for Love and each person can love multiple people at the same time and in different ways.  Love has many different phases that it goes through and it can grow in even harsh conditions.  For example you can love your parents, children, relatives and even multiple partners. If you are religious and have a Christian background you know that there are at least 3 different types of love that are described in the Bible.  They are called Eros, Agape and Philos and are described in the Bible.  Eros is know as erotic love or sexual type of love and is considered selfish.   This kind of love is based on physical traits and the strong  feelings we have against one another and it usually develops during the 1st stage of a romantic relationship.  Agape love is the special term which represents the divine-love of the Lord towards His Son.  It is the love that God commanded all believers to have for everyone whether he or she is a believer or not. Agape love is never determined by our feelings, and surprisingly you don't have to feel it to give it.  Many times this is considered unconditional love and once you start demonstrating it, you will start feeling it.  Philos love is unique kind of love and it is what you feel toward a friend or a pal.  This love is for those that are close to us and who we have shared experiences with.

Depending on how old you are you might remember the song the Rose that was sung by Bette Midler.  In that song she describes love as a rose, and tells us how it blossoms and blooms.  Love is a seed that is planted attraction, watered by friendship and trust and grows and blooms into a beautiful flower.  In other entries I have talked a good deal about love.  But this is the first time that I have gone into the different types of love.  What we haven't actually covered is how we can transition from loving to hating.  It is my belief that if a relationship isn't based on a foundation of friendship and trust then mistrust, abuse and resentments tend to build and what was once love can quickly and irrevocably be turned into hate.  If you remember I once told you that when a person in your life takes more than they contribute then just like a checkbook you become out of balance and overdrawn, and it takes you cutting them loose to bring your life to finally find balance and you can move forward.

Be aware of your feelings, listen to them with not only your mind but your heart as well.  If you start feeling resentment or bitterness toward the one you love or are in a relationship with do both of you a favor and let it go and move on before either of you get hurt. Life is too short to deal with regrets and it certainly doesn't mean that you should allow someone to abuse you.  Keep in mind that there are many types of abuse, physical, mental as well as emotional.  Both of the mental and emotional abuse may be hard to see when it is happening and might creep up on you unaware.  I further believe that a relationship is a partnership and an agreement between two individuals and should be honored.  However, but don't put yourself in harm's way and if you feel that you are being abused then I suggest you get out of the situation and move on.

Yes, there is a fine line between love and hate, and you have to be aware of the signs and symptoms.  Don't let your life go out of balance, and remember that there are more fish in the sea. You don't have to settle and whatever position, situation or path you find yourself in or on you have choices.  Remember if you don't love yourself no one else will either, and why should they.  Put yourself and your feeling forefront and make sure that you are fair in your understanding of those you surround yourself with.  You must make life your own and be open to change, be flexible at all times love freely and believe that what you give you will get back in return.  Understand that no one has the right to abuse you in anyway, and no one has the right to make yourself feel any way about yourself.  If you find that someone does make you feel a certain way or you strive to get another person's approval then you have given too much power to them over you.  Take that power back and make yourself happy no matter what your circumstances.

Think about what I have said and be careful about who you bring into your orbit and who you give your heart too.  They could just end up disappointing you and pushing you away from them.  You are important,  you are unique, and you deserve the best.

As I told my friend she has to look out for herself and her children. No one else would look out for them like she will and she needs to be happy if not for herself then for her children.  No child should ever have to see their mother being abused, it could definitely lead to a pattern of behavior that no one wants repeated by their offspring.

Think about these things my friend and ask yourself are you happy?  Do you feel any resentment or bitterness towards your partner?  If so, do yourself and those around you a favor and cut your loses  and move on.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Friday, June 19, 2015

Why do people do the stupidest things and think no one notices?

I had a good example of that just today.  A person whom I thought was a friend was at my house again today.  Hmm let's see he's actually been here for the past 5 days.  Eating my food, bathing at my place and generally just sitting around and watching TV.  Oh yeah he would cook something if I asked him too, but for the most part he just used my place as a hang out.  I come into my apartment from visiting my back yard neighbors and James, the guy I have been talking about, was packing up his stuff and putting them into the backpack I lent him just the other day.  He leaves while I was in my room talking to my neighbors daughter about her relationship problems.  I had no idea that anything was bother James, he never took a minute to tell me good bye or anything.  I heard my partner head out the door calling James name, I still didn't think anything of it.  I had been told that he and my neighbors were going to hippiefest over on the beachside.  So I just figured he was going down there for that.

Not even 3 minutes later I hear a knock at the door and I head out of my bedroom to see who it was, and it was the girls mother.  She asked where her daughter was and I said in my bedroom. She told me that she wanted to see her daughter, who was coming out of my kitchen.  Her mother was in a state of panic, James had gone downstairs and told them that their daughter was locked in my bedroom.  Now mind you the door from my bedroom to the living room was wide open.  So how on earth was anyone locked in my room.  Anyhow the mother and daughter talked and the strangest story I ever heard began to unfold.

James had gone down stairs claiming not only was the daughter locked in my room, that I stole his xanax and then later I was also accused of stealing money out of this James' account.  A few hours earlier I took James up to the bank where they printed out the statements for his checking and saving account.  He was looking at it and couldn't understand it and gave it too me.  I showed him what all the daily transactions were on his account and how his overdraft protection had kicked in, and he swore up and down that he didn't make those transactions.  I clearly pointed out to him what the bank is going to tell him that it was done with his debit card.  It showed right on the statement that the debit card was used with a pin and listed the last 4 digits of the card for identification.

Now, James went down there and got everyone all riled up, and started sending me very accusatory text messages stating that I knew what I did and that I should just lose his number.  But the more I tried to reason with him the more inflammatory his text messages became.  So I went down to the neighbors where he was trying to hide out and sell his bullshit too.  Anyhow I went down there and tried to have a conversation with him and the more logical I became the more irate he became.  He told me that I needed to leave him alone and that I needed to leave the drama outside because it wasn't his home.  Duh! I knew that he is homeless and a derelict to society not to mention a very heavy pill junkie.  But onward, he asked the woman of the house to ask me to leave, and I turned and apologized to her and told her I was leaving.  However, before I left I told James that I wanted my phone back. the charger and the backpack because I had lent him those things.  He told me that he wasn't giving me shit back because of all the things he has done for me.

To make matters worse he tried to tell me that he had recorded a conversation between my partner and him and that he was filling out paperwork with the police to have my partner arrested for threatening him.  I just wrote back and told him that he should be careful because he was the one in possession of stolen property which is a charge, and he would go to jail too.  He really didn't like that and wrote back "oh what that thing you stole from big lots" .  Which is hilarious because the charger that he has in his possession is the one that my father bought me at Best Buy. When I told him that he shut up.

However, upon talking with the neighbors, he apparently told them that he had left his wallet in the backseat of my car and that I stole the money from his bank.  I have to laugh at that because first off I never touched his wallet at all and if I had I certainly wouldn't have just taken 70 dollars out of his account. I would have withdrawn everything that I could.  Now, he knows that I have no money and haven't had any since the 10th of June so if I stole the money what did I do with it and why am I out of cigarettes and everything else.  I don't even know what his pin number is, so how did I have access to the account at all.

He really doesn't know how retarded his actions were tonight and how all the neighbors know that he was lying, as a matter of fact the neighbor lady told me that James was a pathological liar and couldn't keep all of the shit straight and that no one takes him seriously.  How sad it is for someone his age throwing a temper tantrum like this and bringing everybody into it, and for what possible reason?  It just made him look that much more foolish.  I really do feel sorry for the man because he just lost the best friend he could have ever had, over what?  because he felt left out or felt that someone stole from him.  If any of that was the case then why was he fine all day till the neighbors daughter showed up?  Why wasn't any of his concerns brought to my attention before he left my apartment? Better yet, if he thought that I stole his pills or weed or whatever why did he offer to buy some for him and my partner just 20 minutes before all of this happened?  Also while we were at the bank together why didn't he tell his suspicions to the bank clerk?  Why didn't he call the police when he was sitting in my living room trying to find out where his ex wife's death certificate was?

His behavior is truly suspect and from this point forward people should be afraid of him.  He snorts too many xanax and loratabs and then can't remember what he is doing.

I can tell you what I think this is all about is that he offered to pay my partner 50/50 on painting the neighbors privacy fence and earlier today he mentioned that he hoped that JT would let him know something about the fence soon because he didn't want to do it in the heat of the summer.  Now this means that he would have to give my partner 200 dollars for helping him and doesn't want to loose out on the money so he made this whole situation up so he could get out of it.  Well he has another thing coming too him I am going over there and telling JT that I will do it and I will get paid.

I am also going to make sure when he shows up here tomorrow that the Holly Hill Police and have him trespassed off the property permanently because now he has stolen from me I have grounds to enforce a trespassing warrant.

He really should be ashamed of trying to take my kindness for weakness.  Why would you repay the person who has opened his home to you and allowed you to stay and shower there and never asked him for a cent of rent or charged him more than 3 or 4 dollars for gas for all the rides I have given him.

Be very careful who you trust these days because you never know what type of foolishness a person like James will pull on you.  But as they say you can't help a drug addict unless they want to help themselves.  God knows what I have done and my heart and I have nothing to be sorry for or worried about because the accusations that were made were nothing but pure lies.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Health update

Yesterday I met with Dr. Clincea at the Orlando Outpatient Clinic in Orlando. We discussed my test results that I took earlier in the month and the results were amazing.  Not only have I increased my weight drastically went from 111 pounds in February to 148.6.  That is great news I was so underweight in February that all my healthcare providers were clearly concerned.

My viral load is still undetectable and my t cells are now close to 500 which is great news considering that I suffered from severe dehydration just a few months before and was unable to take my medication.  This shows my infectious disease team that my body is holding its own and fighting the disease at the cellular level.  Further, my kidney functions have started to improve and I have been moved from chronic kidney disease stage 4 to stage 3, as well as no detectable copies of Hep C in my system as well.

All in all the visit to Orlando was a welcome and pleasant change to my health situation.  However, this is just the beginning of a very long journey about my spine and the damage done by the osteomilitis that I was exposed to last year.  I was told when I was finally released from Carlton shores rehabilitation center that I had severe micro fractures along my t5 to t10 vertebrae.  See on the 1st of June I was involved in a serious car accident and my back, neck, arm and chest were affected by the accident.

I will know more later on in the month as the MRI's are finished and the extent of the damage is assessed by a Neurologist and a Neurosurgeon.

I will keep you informed as more information comes available.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Daytona Beach Florida used to be the place to go for Spring break and vacations. What happened?

In 2012, I relocated from Atlanta Georgia to Daytona Beach Florida.  When I was in school and for many years following my graduation Daytona was the place to go for spring break.  Being raised in Florida I came to know Daytona as the world's most famous beach.  But, that was back in the 80's when MTV and VH1 were still in their infancies.  Every year VH1 would hold spring breakfest here in Daytona and hordes of students from all over the country would descend upon the state and bolster the tourist income for the whole area.  But, when I came back to Florida I found out that VH1 and MTV had pulled out of the area and were now filming their seasonal volleyball games, wet t-shirt contests, bikini contests and spring breakfest in other cities such as Fort Lauderdale and Pensacola pulling the tourist income to different portions of the state.

Now, don't get me wrong we still get a some spring breakers here to celebrate the Easter and spring season, but it is nothing like what it used to be in the 80's through 2000.  It is sad to say that Daytona's economy is now firmly based off of speedweeks and bikefest and the annual turkey run.  For those of you not familiar or into NASCAR racing you wouldn't know what speedweeks are all about or what they mean to the economy of Daytona.  What I can tell you is that right around the 4th of July NASCAR kicks off speedweeks with the Coke 400 and carries us into the racing season.  One really big crowd drawer is the Daytona 500 that takes place shortly after the Coke 400.  For several weeks our town is filled with race car fans and they spend their money on dining out and shopping, sometimes even lounging on our beaches.  But, before any of that takes place are the bike weeks there are actually two bike weeks per year for Daytona, the first occurs in March and is the precursor to the NASCAR speedweeks.  Which heralds in the summer months and the hope that the local beaches will be enough to draw the tourists into town.

Unfortunately, that has become a pipedream for many of us that live here.  There is no real draw here anymore, there is very little nightlife or big draw festivals.  So what happened and why is Volusia county becoming the home for one of the largest homeless populations in the state?  Why are there more drugs sold on Ridgewood Avenue than all the income from tourist attractions combined?  These are very good questions and beg to be answered by the public officials voted into office.

You can find anything you desire on Ridgewood from Granada to Dunlawton avenue and very little police presence.  Oh the occasional officer will make an appearance usually around North avenue at the J Store and will harass the homeless and try and root out the dealers walking the streets. Yet prostitution and drug use abounds in the hotels that line US1.  The coalition for the homeless and haven recovery center try to put a stopper on the overflow of homeless but what is actually happening is a hangout for the dealers and users alike.  At any hour during the day or night you can see scores of homeless walking the streets and bouncing from corner to corner.

Other agencies like Halifax Urban Ministries and other outreach organizations try to help the homeless and feed scores of people weekly.  They also track the homeless population for the US Census.  But where are the shelters and other organizations that help these individuals get off the street and reintegrate back into society?  Why are the cut offs for assistance so low for Volusia County.  Why is there no housing programs or other urban activities to help these individuals get off the street?  The Salvation Army has a shelter but it only houses 10 men and 10 women at a time.  Yet, there are over 6,500 homeless individuals in this town. Agencies like Volusia County Department of Health set up mobile HIV testing at the coalition for the homeless, but there is nothing else really being done.

Finding work in Daytona is also a major problem.  Most companies are looking for individuals that are drug free and have appropriate attire to interview with, yet with an ever increasing homeless population nothing is being done to help these individuals.  Seasonal jobs have become the norm for those individuals, and with only 6 weeks out of the year when races or other functions happening in the area those without a place to call home have very little hope of finding a lucrative job to help them get off the street and become meaningful members of society.

In less than 20 years we have seen a complete and total transformation of Daytona.  Elected officials would rather focus on road improvements and other infrastructure initiatives that they can obtain federal funding for instead of pouring money back into capturing the tourist dollars.  Hotels and motels that once were beautiful and fully occupied now are only full during race weeks and bike weeks.  Each one of them have started offering weekly and monthly rates to attract guests for their establishments.  Popular attractions like the Ocean Deck no longer have the crowds that they used to have.  MTV and VH1 have moved to another location and we have lost the draw that they used to bring to the area.

In recent years they started having movies under the stars and the summer concert series to help residents to come back into town and spend money at local businesses.  But what we need is an influx of tourist dollars.  Daytona residents and council members need to realize that the once might Worlds Famous Beach is no longer enough to draw the crowds like it once did.  We have to compete with the theme parks of Disney and Universal over in Orlando which is about 45 miles away.  Maybe we need to reach out to the theme parks and see if we couldn't offer some kind of summer package deal that would include 3 days in the park and 2 days at the beach and see if we cannot draw people back to our beautiful beaches.

Maybe we should reach out and see if we cannot not only draw racing fans, and golf fans to our area but the beach going tourists.  We should collectively look at what Ft. Lauderdale and the cities of south Florida are doing to see if we cannot emulate them and bring back the crowds we once had. Too many people are thinking and finding that Daytona is stagnate and unchanging.  If something isn't done soon this town will be forgotten and beach goers will head to Cocoa Beach, Titusville or Ft Lauderdale and spend their tourist dollars there.  Cocoa has the Kennedy space center and was the backdrop for the well known I Dream of Jeanie TV series so has a well known name.

I hope that the city manager and council members soon realize that they are driving our town into the ground and contributing to the poverty levels of the area.  Cleaning up of US 1 and trying to attract lucrative and well received business into the area is a must.  Removal of some of these seedy motels and put in well known national chain hotels would be a good start.  Plus trying to draw maybe a broadway series to the Peabody auditorium as well as business conferences to the ocean center, maybe try and host a comic-con or other big draw festivities into our existing venues.

I don't know if what I have written here will be well received or not, but as one of them members of the community that is affected by what the local economy does or doesn't do. Is hoping that bigger and better attractions and festivities might just turn this town around otherwise I too will be just another member of this community that leaves the area for good, because I just can't survive here the way things are going now.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I used to look forward to the weekends....what happened?

Hey there my friends...I was thinking about this over the weekend and I realized that as I have gotten older I don't really look forward to the weekends any more and it got me to thinking about what had changed and why I feel such a difference today about weekends.  Another thing that has also changed is my perception of time.  I think one of the reasons why when I was younger that I looked forward to the weekends was because I was because school took up so much of my time when I was younger.  I am not sure why or how my perception changed but it did.  Time seems to have speeded up the older I have gotten, and there never seems to be enough time in my day now.

Think about it this way when you were in high school you had enough time to get your homework done and still go out and do things with your friends. Now, what has changed? The length of the day hasn't changed, there is still 24 hours in a day.  You usually spent 8 hours in school and you usually work an 8 hour shift at work.  Yet, you don't seem to have enough time to do everything you need to do.  So do you know what has changed? Your brain has changed your perspective.  Time its self hasn't changed you have.  As you age you feel and experience time differently.  As your mind matures you start focusing on different aspects of life than you did when you were a youth.  An adult worries and thier brains are perceive time differently.

I assure you when you get older time will seem to speed up and you will be surprised to find that your days and months seem to fly by.  You may wonder why that is from time to time, but it is because you are focused on bills, work and family and not on yourself and the things that you need to accomplish such as homework.  Adults have so many things that they have going on that they have to divide and spend time on each item.  We learn and use time management skills to deal with the myriad of responsibilites that we have to deal with.  As we get older our minds look and experience time differently.

Now, I dread weekends and the reason why is because I have so many things on my mind that I have to do and weekends throw my life out of wack.  Businesses are closed and I can't get things done like I can during the week.  Weekends used to represent free time and going out to the clubs and having fun.  But today I have too many bills and tasks that I am needing to get done and the lack of money to go out.  Once upon a time I loved hanging out at clubs and drinking. But as I got older I lost the desire to go out all the time and luckily I found someone who isn't a bar fly.

For some reason I look forward to the end of the weekend so that I can get back to the work week so that I can handle business and doctors appointments.  Especially now that I have become disabled. Maybe the reason why I dread weekends is because I can't get my medical stuff accomplished.  Also because they represent boring long days with nothing for me to do.  However, I bet if I had the resources to go out and do things my perspective might change how I feel about them.

Another thing that has come to my attention is that as we age our priorities tend to change and we look at things differently than we did before when we were children.  Now that doesn't mean that we cannot have a childlike mentality or even be childlike in our behavior.  Once we reach our teenage years everyone of us wishes that we are older and we often express a desire to grow up faster than we are.  Yet, each of us looks back at our lives at some point and wish that we had done things a little different. Or we wished that we had the knowledge that we have now back when we were younger.  It is true that we have to face the consequences of our actions and choices.  It is also true that the experiences we have and the paths that we have taken have molded us into the people we are today.

It is my belief that as we grow older and our responsibilites change and we experience more of life we look at things from the bias that we have gotten or the filters that were created by the choices we have made.  I also think that where we are at in life also plays a part in how we judge and look at things.  Just because I dread weekends doesn't mean you will when you get to be my age. Honestly I think if I were still healthy and had the same job or equivalent position making the same or better money than I was before my idea of weekends would be totally different.

Therefore to answer my question what happened to make me dislike weekends, I woudl ahve to say that it is because of my lack of resources and my financial situation. My health also plays a big part of how I feel and look at things today.  Please remember that you can change your perspective and look at things from a different angle and it could turn your life totally around.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Not everything is as it seems

Words can have multiple meanings, teachings can have multiple interpretations,  problems can have multiple solutions, you can't judge someone by their looks alone. We can become so enamored by someone's outward appearance that we totally miss what is just below the surface.  As a race we tend to judge one another by the morals and standards we have developed for ourselves and what we perceive to be the teaching of our church or our parents. But you have to keep in mind there can be more than one interpretation on how to do things or live right.

Many times when two people come together they have to reconcile their beliefs with one another. Take a look the picture from a different point of view, even if two people, such as twins were born, their experiences would be totally different. No two individuals will experience situations in exactly the same way, even though they are raised the same each person takes away something different from each encounter they have. Even if they meet the same people, eat the same foods and are brought up the same exact way. Each person copes differently, has different coping mechanisms and their view point becomes skewed by these things.  Remember, each of us creates filters from which we view life through, filters are the way in which we look at life with.  You can think of filters like contact lenses or glasses that you look out upon the world through.  Each and everyone of us experience things differently therefore the way we view and do things are going to be different. Keep in mind that even shared experiences are going to be viewed and reacted too differently by the individuals that share them even if they were raised exactly the same way.

I talked about little about this in another blog entry when I spoke about how two people in a relationship can have totally different views on how something they experienced together can be so radically different. This is one reason that when police interview witnesses of a crime can have varying stories about what occurred during an investigation.  They have to look for commonalities in the individual stories to come up with a whole picture that can explain an event or incident. Now, if you think about it and apply this logic to a relationship it might actually help you to tolerate your partner doing something a different way than you would actually do it. Remember that there are many ways a task can be accomplished and that not everyone is going to do it the way you would.  You have to be flexible and accept how other people do things, because there is no single right way or wrong way to do things.

Another example that I can give you is this, the face you see in public is probably not the same face you see in private.  I know a couple extremely well and if you were to see them out at a restaurant or walking down the street you might well think that they are the perfect couple, you see them together and they seem so happy and content with each other. You really are convinced that they were meant to be together.  Which in my friends case they are meant to be together and compliment each other well. However, again things are not always as they seem.  This couple has it's share of fights and arguements and not as happy as the outward face they display when they go out into public.  Another way to look at this is that all outward appearances are masks that we wear out into public, and while that is on you cannot see the truth that lies just beneath the surface.  Another example I can give you is when people look at me they think that they are looking at a person that isn't handicapped but they would be wrong, you cannot draw conclusions or assumptions just by looking at things.  Remember that what you see is not always what you are getting.

Just because something looks normal and acts like nothing is wrong, you have no idea what another person is going through.  Humans are good at hiding their problems, emotions and feelings and hide them away.  They truly don't want other people to know that they are gong through something or are in pain, but again not all things are as they seem.  There are always things that you cannot see that lie just below the surface.  Just like an ice berg the tip is all that is seen, it is what is hidden underneath that can cause the most damage.  When you get to know another person you can sometimes see behind the mask that they are hiding behind.  If you get to konw me well you will begin to realize that I wake up in pain every morning. Some days are worse than others, but no one outside of my house would ever know what I am feeling or going through because of the happy up beat face that I put on when i leave my house.  For that matter no one has a clue that I have a colostomy bag, because you cannot see it at all while I am dressed.

The whole point that I am trying to express to you is that you cannot look at someone or something and know what is really going on with them.  You can also never know what a person is really thinking and feeling.  The only one that truly knows what they are going through and feeling is the person that is going through it.  What is on the outside doesn' t necessarily let you know what is going on in the inside.  People are going through as much drama and turmoil just like you are.  Keep that in mind as you meet and hangout with people.  Remember that there is more than one way to accomplish a task, there is no right or wrong way to do something. Be open minded and sensitive toward others so that you can get to know them and see what is under their mask.  Know this no matter what you are going through in your life there is someone out there that is going through something just as bad as you are or worse.  Life is a learning and growing experience. No one is perfect and we all have room for improvement and growth.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B