Thursday, June 11, 2015

Not everything is as it seems

Words can have multiple meanings, teachings can have multiple interpretations,  problems can have multiple solutions, you can't judge someone by their looks alone. We can become so enamored by someone's outward appearance that we totally miss what is just below the surface.  As a race we tend to judge one another by the morals and standards we have developed for ourselves and what we perceive to be the teaching of our church or our parents. But you have to keep in mind there can be more than one interpretation on how to do things or live right.

Many times when two people come together they have to reconcile their beliefs with one another. Take a look the picture from a different point of view, even if two people, such as twins were born, their experiences would be totally different. No two individuals will experience situations in exactly the same way, even though they are raised the same each person takes away something different from each encounter they have. Even if they meet the same people, eat the same foods and are brought up the same exact way. Each person copes differently, has different coping mechanisms and their view point becomes skewed by these things.  Remember, each of us creates filters from which we view life through, filters are the way in which we look at life with.  You can think of filters like contact lenses or glasses that you look out upon the world through.  Each and everyone of us experience things differently therefore the way we view and do things are going to be different. Keep in mind that even shared experiences are going to be viewed and reacted too differently by the individuals that share them even if they were raised exactly the same way.

I talked about little about this in another blog entry when I spoke about how two people in a relationship can have totally different views on how something they experienced together can be so radically different. This is one reason that when police interview witnesses of a crime can have varying stories about what occurred during an investigation.  They have to look for commonalities in the individual stories to come up with a whole picture that can explain an event or incident. Now, if you think about it and apply this logic to a relationship it might actually help you to tolerate your partner doing something a different way than you would actually do it. Remember that there are many ways a task can be accomplished and that not everyone is going to do it the way you would.  You have to be flexible and accept how other people do things, because there is no single right way or wrong way to do things.

Another example that I can give you is this, the face you see in public is probably not the same face you see in private.  I know a couple extremely well and if you were to see them out at a restaurant or walking down the street you might well think that they are the perfect couple, you see them together and they seem so happy and content with each other. You really are convinced that they were meant to be together.  Which in my friends case they are meant to be together and compliment each other well. However, again things are not always as they seem.  This couple has it's share of fights and arguements and not as happy as the outward face they display when they go out into public.  Another way to look at this is that all outward appearances are masks that we wear out into public, and while that is on you cannot see the truth that lies just beneath the surface.  Another example I can give you is when people look at me they think that they are looking at a person that isn't handicapped but they would be wrong, you cannot draw conclusions or assumptions just by looking at things.  Remember that what you see is not always what you are getting.

Just because something looks normal and acts like nothing is wrong, you have no idea what another person is going through.  Humans are good at hiding their problems, emotions and feelings and hide them away.  They truly don't want other people to know that they are gong through something or are in pain, but again not all things are as they seem.  There are always things that you cannot see that lie just below the surface.  Just like an ice berg the tip is all that is seen, it is what is hidden underneath that can cause the most damage.  When you get to know another person you can sometimes see behind the mask that they are hiding behind.  If you get to konw me well you will begin to realize that I wake up in pain every morning. Some days are worse than others, but no one outside of my house would ever know what I am feeling or going through because of the happy up beat face that I put on when i leave my house.  For that matter no one has a clue that I have a colostomy bag, because you cannot see it at all while I am dressed.

The whole point that I am trying to express to you is that you cannot look at someone or something and know what is really going on with them.  You can also never know what a person is really thinking and feeling.  The only one that truly knows what they are going through and feeling is the person that is going through it.  What is on the outside doesn' t necessarily let you know what is going on in the inside.  People are going through as much drama and turmoil just like you are.  Keep that in mind as you meet and hangout with people.  Remember that there is more than one way to accomplish a task, there is no right or wrong way to do something. Be open minded and sensitive toward others so that you can get to know them and see what is under their mask.  Know this no matter what you are going through in your life there is someone out there that is going through something just as bad as you are or worse.  Life is a learning and growing experience. No one is perfect and we all have room for improvement and growth.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,


Uncle B