Even though I was busy most of the day with doctor's appointments. I still felt the pang of loneliness and boredom set in. Honestly, this is a very mild form of depression and one that used to come over me a lot. But not so much anymore. Today was just one of those days when everyone and everything just seemed to remind me how alone I am. Everywhere I turned I saw people hurrying about their business, smiling and sharing time with others.
Since I have been in Florida, I have done nothing really except hang with my father and step mother. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy that for the most part. It is just hard being here with no one to talk to, confide in or do things with. I have tried going to the movies by myself and it just isn't the same thing. I grew up in Orlando, went to high school in Winter Park and have some friends over there, but here in Ormond, I don't know a soul. When I lived in Atlanta I was always on the go, hardly ever sat at home, and here I am sitting in the same room all by myself for the last 7 months. Kind of monotonous if you ask me.
I had been hoping against hope that Bobby Ohara was going to come down, and now even that is looking more and more like a pipe dream. My only outlet to the real world is via my cell phone or the computer. I hangout on Facebook and Myspace and twitter this is my window into reality. I write in my blog and I am constantly watching movies. I am hoping that as soon as I get this cast off of my leg I will find something to do, because a person could really go crazy just sitting in their room all day, every day.
I do miss my friend and my life that I had in Atlanta, but I know that it wasn't good for me, and I was on a self-defeatist path as well as on a path of self-destruction while I was there. Honestly, I know I am not going back there, but I have left behind so many interesting people and friends that it is so hard not to wonder what they are doing and wishing I was with them. I honestly wish I could find someone to hang out with and chill here. I think that would make staying here that much more bearable and get me out of the house and the rut that I am in. But for now, I await for the phone to ring and hear from my friends on Google talk, voice or email or sit and follow everyone's adventures on Facebook.
I know that this is only temporary and when my leg and body have healed enough I will start going out and doing things. Might even make some friends here that will make life a little more bearable. So keep this in mind when you are running around and doing stuff. That I am sitting here waiting to hear from you and share in your excitement and your adventures.
Life is never what it supposed to be, and we all long for differences and changes to take place to rock our world and make it more exciting. But trust me that the grass is not always greener on the other side and if it is. It is probably too good to be true and you just have to wait for the other shoe. I hope you all will take the time to join my blog site and write to me. Give me something to enjoy and write about.
I miss you all and hope to hear from you guys soon.
All my hopes and dreams are with you,