Listen, we have been talking about life and the choices that we each make and how those choices and the consequences of them culminate in who we become. But have you really thought about what I have been trying to tell you? Do you realize that it is all up to you? There are always choices to be made and directions we must walk upon, but what you need to understand is that no matter what the situation or the choice that you have to make, it is how you look at the situation that makes the choice you choose so vitally important. This may be a hard for you to understand, but let me try and give you some examples to make it easier to understand. For this we are going to start with the choice I made when buying the scooter and the accident that followed and the hurt that I am going through now.
It would have been very easy for me to bemoan what happened to me and lament about the money lost and wasted on the scooter, and I could wallow in regret and self-pity, but what good would it have done. See, I knew the reasons behind why I bought the scooter even if no one else does, or agrees with them, it was still my decision and one that I feel comfortable with. Now I know that there is extensive damage to it and it might cost me more money to fix the thing then I actually paid for it, but that really doesn't bother me. See I chose to buy it for myself to give myself a little independence and self-reliance, enabling me to get around without having to depend or infringe upon another person. I hate, having to burden someone else to get what I need done, so this was a big step in the right direction for me and something I was comfortable with. I had no idea that I was going to get hit by a car, and I had no idea I was going to break my ankle, and just because those things happened doesn't mean that my decision was wrong.
As I was being carted off from the scene of the accident by ambulance I was joking with the paramedics and firefighters that arrived on the scene. This is my automatic defense mode that I take when I am hurting or when I feel regret or other useless emotions that would serve no better purpose, I make light of the situation and I feel better about what has happened. This has been a defense mechanism in my life since I was a child and it has served me well. One would think that it was just another way of avoidance, but you know what it actually does for me, it helps me look at and focus on the positive things in my life, it gives me the strength to stand in the face of impossible odds and beat them back. I could have looked at the wreck in several ways, and felt differently about it depending how I viewed the situation. But I chose to look at it from the funny point of view, and with my crude sense of humor you can just imagine. I told the paramedics, that after everything I have been through in the past couple of years with the cancer, the HIV, Hep C and Renal Disease and all the other things that are going wrong with my body that if someone was gunning for me and trying to kill me they were sure poor marksman, because they were getting everything around me but not me myself.
How we view a situation is just as important to how we deal with it as the situation itself. Because our perception of the situation and our outlook is going to determine how we feel about it in the long run, and how we are going to handle the fall out and repercussions of the actions we decide to take. Now, my father was against me getting the scooter, but his main argument was that I was never going to use it. Maybe I should have listened, because if I had I wouldn't have gotten hurt. But I believe whatever is meant to be is always going to find a way to happen, so if it wasn't an accident with a scooter, it would have been something else, and I would have still gotten hurt and broken my ankle. Plain and simple it was something that was in my path and something I am going to have to deal with an overcome. Now, the other way to look at this situation can be two-fold, see the Bible teaches that children are to obey their parents, and maybe just maybe I got hurt because I went against my father's wishes. However, I am not really inclined to believe that because my father never came out and said No don't buy it, he just kept saying I think you should reconsider, because I don't think you are ever going to use it.
No matter how the situation played out, I am not angry or disgruntled about the situation and I don't feel like I have wasted my money. I know it is going to cost more to get it fixed back up, and I realize that it wasn't my fault that I was hit by a car that never stopped. I was doing fine and would have been fine without that slight altercation of the cars front connecting with my rear. If you read my other blog entries about advice, you will note that I also learned some valuable lessons about riding a cycle, scooter or other 2 wheeled vehicle. You have to know what you are doing and wear the appropriate attire and foot gear, it is going to make all the difference in the world. I am also looking at this adventure in the light of nothing ventured nothing gained. I still own the scooter and yeah some repairs will have to be made before I can ride it again, but it is something I am willing to do, and if it isn't I still have the option of selling it off for parts. Since I have been injured, broken ankle, there is no rush to get the repairs done and I can take my time and customize it anyway I want to, personalize it if you will and truly make it my own.
Overall, I believe that everyone needs to take a step back from every situation, encounter, or problem and evaluate it, divorce yourself from the emotions evoked by it and really look at it. You need to be open and objective, and find the positive in it. Work your way out from there with a solution and I guaranty you won't go wrong or feel bad about the decision you made. In all things that we have been given by God the most important is "Free Will" the right to choose. Our right to make our own choices, but along with that privileged comes the responsibility of facing the consequences. We have to be strong enough and man enough to know that when we make a mistake we have to pay the piper, just like when we make good choices and decisions we get to reap the reward. All I am wanting you to understand and realize from this blog entry is that if you come at any situation with a positive outlook and unfailing faith you are going to be alright. You are making the right choice for you, and believe it or not, no matter what anyone else says, you are the only one that can do that for you. So can't you see that it does come down to just you. That no matter what you do, how you do, and the path you take to get there, those are all choices you can make for yourself. No one else can make them for you, because if they try it isn't going to work out. You are the only one that knows your heart and mind and can make the perfect decisions for yourself.
Hold your head up high and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is always with you, He has your best interests at heart and He knows what you can handle and can endure and will never allow anything you can't handle to come your way. You have angels all around you day and night watching over you, reporting on you and keeping you safe. Like I said I could have been killed in the accident that happened on Tuesday and the worse that did happen was a broken ankle. I know that I am blessed and protected, and I know that you are too. Have some faith and you will see. You are never tested or tried beyond your endurance. Don't just take my word for it. Try it out you will see, and you can find that and so much more in God's word the Bible.
I hope you all have a great weekend and start looking at the bright side of things, it is going to make accepting them so much easier, and when you can do that you can weather any storm because you have the knowledge that you did what you needed to do to look out for you.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you.