What would you do if everyone keeps telling you that having surgery is extremely dangerous? With that being said you also need to know that if you don't have the operation the cancer is going to spread and will eventually kill you? Would you elect to have the surgery and hope that the doomsayers are wrong and that everything is going to be alright or would you take the chance of the cancer staying contained and never spreading? It is a hard question to process and think about and even more of a drag on your mood and emotions. These are the questions that I am facing.
However, I think that I have made my decision based upon my past experience with cancer and have decided to have the surgery and hope for the best. However, my grandmother always told me to hope for the best but plan for the worse that way you will never find yourself in a situation of disappointment. So I have gone ahead with the plan to have the surgery and have found a surgeon who can do a minimally invasive surgery which doubles my outlook and recovery time.
But as always I have a contingency plan in place in case things go horribly wrong. I have asked that my doctors do not resuscitate me in the event of heart failure or death under the anesthesia. If I am on life support I have asked my step mother and father to make sure that the plug is pulled and that I am let go. I do not want to have a machine doing the hard work for me even if there is a slight chance that I might pull through. It is my understanding that the longer you are on the machine the harder it is to come back. Also I am not sure what would come back if my consciousness has already left my body.
I am a believer that we are energy beings and I believe that all energy exists in the universe and is neither created nor destroyed just changed. Therefore if my mind checks out, I check out. I am ready to start the next phase of life. I have been battling this disease for way to long and the journey has been very rough and tiring, I am ready to move on. I am very tired after fighting for 22 years.
Now that this is the 5th bout of cancer that I have suffered through I want to just let go but I don't know how to. Life is all about choices and decisions we make and the consequences that result from them. If we are comfortable with the consequences then the action taken can be seen in light of our own best interests. Though it may be hard for others to accept the choices we have made, because no one truly understands where you are at in your own personal life which forms the basis for the conclusion you have reached.
In all things you should weigh the risks and make clear choices that help reduce or eliminate the risks you face. So, putting a contingency plan in place is the best option. It shows that you have viewed the scenarios that surround each issue and have made a conscious decision based on predicted outcomes and should something unforseen crop up you have a way to deal with it. It also shows that you have weighed the consequences and have chosen the best alternatives that you see. Remember that the future is not set in stone and can be changed by a single situation and reaction. Therefore, I suggest that not only do you come up with a plan to deal with the immediate concern, but also any other conceivable outcomes. This ensures that all contingencies are met and dealt with at the appropriate time and place. You also might want to work on an exit strategy a separate plan that allows you a quick and orderly retreat and allows you to avoid the risk totally if the cost becomes too great for you to accept.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you.