I have been back to the hospital yet once again. This time was pretty major, apparently a cyst formed on my kidney and pelvis. It started out on Wednesday afternoon as a 2 mm cyst and by Friday Morning it was 8 cm in diameter, 40 ml of fluid were drained from it, there was no sign of bacteria or infection. I am seriously wondering what caused this phenomena after 3 days of testing and draining of the cyst, I am still no closer to an answer than I was the day I was admitted to the hospital. Ever since I got back from Atlanta, my kidneys have been giving me a lot of trouble. I spent 3 days in the hospital when I got back to Florida, and I spent a day in the hospital in Atlanta before I left. I knew that I was severely dehydrated and that my kidneys were in jeopardy. This new addition of fluid building up in my body in areas that it isn't supposed to has made me wonder what is really going on with my body.
This is the first time in 20 years that I haven't been able to put a finger on what is happening with my body and knowing what I am supposed to do to fix it. Unfortunately, with this new information comes a whole new series of questions. I have been constantly on top of my bodies health ever since I was diagnosed with cancer 20 years ago. This is the first time that something new has cropped up that I haven't had the answers too. It has also made my mind go into overdrive to come up with a solution. Unfortunately with the information that I have I cannot for the life of me understand what is going on inside of me this time. So as with all things unexplained I leave it to the good Lord to sort out on His own, because in my mind He is the ultimate authority on the body since He created it. It has to be His will that I go through this or it wouldn't be happening to me at all.
I have to keep in mind that even as I walk there are times when my strength has failed to move me forward and it has been His unwavering steps that I glimpse in the sand as I look back over my path. I know it is Him who has carried me through those dark moments. I know it will be His divine wisdom that guides the physicians as the struggle to answer the newest mystery in my bodies physiology. I have to keep in mind that all answers are not always self apparent and have to be searched for and researched. I know that I wouldn't have been brought this far for an answer to be hidden and obscured that there is meaning in each of our lives and it is ours to seek out the answers.
I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that we are provided with all the answers to every question we will ever face when we are born onto the Earth, it is also my belief that if we look deep within ourselves that the answers to each question will be revealed in it's due course. See, I have unwavering faith, that when man was still in the Garden of Eden, and the first sin took place, that the knowledge of the ages was imparted to man, and was passed on through our blood. It is the philosopher's journey to unlock those hidden things within our mind. Most of you know that we only use a fraction of our brain during our lifetime, so why is it so large? It is my belief that in our own ignorance or arrogance which ever may have been the case for Adam and Eve's blatant refusal to obey the only commandment they were given, they ate of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. For which we have ever been separated from God and the divine.
Now, I know that you were not expecting a Sunday school lesson when you opened up my blog this evening, so I will leave it at this point, but remember that we are each on a journey and that journey is the search for the ultimate truth. Is is not? I hope it is, but it may just be what is the meaning of life or why am I here! These are also good questions and one's that can be answered on the inward journey that I am proposing. See within us is the knowledge of the ages and we need to educate ourselves as we move forward in this life to unlock the secrets of that knowledge, that is the true test that we are faced with in our daily life.
Yet, even as I struggle to grasp the meaning of life and all the other things that are yet obscured by my vision of reality, I seek to find the answers to the my health questions as well. I know the answers are there and that God is waiting for me to reach the level of understanding or enlightenment to reveal these answers to me, and in time I know I will get there. So with all my thoughts and prayers going out, I keep firmly my belief that all things known or will be known will be revealed to us through our journey and our learning. It is my hope that my health will hold out long enough for me to reach the place where I need to be to understand all of this.
So with all of that being said, I will continue to fill you in on what is happening with my health. When I was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night it was apparent that the fluid build up was not normal from the reaction of the medical staff, however, it was surprising to find that my kidney's which had been such a problem just the week before seemed to be functioning at normal levels and all traces of kidney disease were gone. Now that got me really thinking. See sometimes it is the situation or circumstance that makes us break the mold of our thoughts and think outside of the box so to speak, and what was discovered is that despite the miraculous discovery that the kidneys were once again functioning as they should be there was still something not quite right with the whole situation, and what came to mind was that they had left the stint in place between my kidney's and bladder back in December for 2 months, now the normal length of time that a temporary stint should be in place is 30 days, anything longer the tissue grows back up around the stint and when removed a tear or rip in the organ can take place. So now, we have to search the left kidney for a possible tear or rip that might be minuscule in size which might be allowing fluid to leak into the body unnoticed and be the cause of the cysts that seem to be forming. The fluid is vacuous and not infected by bacteria or contagion which seems to mean that the fluid is sterile as it enters the body cavity. Urine is sterile until it is exposed to air. Could this not mean that the leak might be from the kidney through a rent or tear that was made when the stint was removed?
This is a question I will be following up with in the morning with my doctor to try and get to the bottom of this mystery. I am hoping that it is something as simple as this to my situation and that by now knowing what to look for might make it easier for the doctors to find. Otherwise, I may end up back in the hospital with the same problem all over again.
So tell me what do you think? Might there be something to what I have written here or is it my imagination just grasping at some straws to answer that which I cannot answer?
I really would like to know what your thoughts are on this. Could I be on the right track after all and that all the answers to all our questions are locked right inside of us the entire time?
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,