what is it too you?

I have been told that I should not share my life with you.  That I should edit what I put online, but here is the simple truth.  I am an open book, I have nothing to fear or hide. I want the world to know me. I have been through so much that I feel that I must share it with you.  I have been writing in this blog since 2012 and I have used my life as examples throughout.  I have found that people respond to what I have been through and can use my experiences to enrich their own life and walk their own journey.  It is my desire that one person find comfort, solace, help or even companionship in my writing.  I don't understand why some people want to limit what I have to say.  I guess it is because I tend to shed light on things that they wish to keep hidden.  But, see I write whatever I feel is needed at the time it is needed.  

You don't know how many times I receive emails telling me that my words or adventure has hit home for them, that they have found comfort in my words, or have found a way around a specific problem just because whatever I had written spoke directly too them.  Now, for the record I must confess that when I sit down to write, it isn't always my words that I find on the page or on the screen.  What do I mean by that, well sometimes I don't even remember writing what I am reading off the screen.  It is as if someone else had written the words, and I was just the person who sat down and typed them out.

Now if you follow my Facebook page, you will find that what I am about to talk to you about is something that I found out from my doctors yesterday.  One of the many reasons I write to you and tell you what is going on in my life, is because I don't have that many friends here in Daytona, and I pretty much have no one to talk to about what is happening in my life and what I am going through.  Most of the time when I sit down to write it is to purge my system and just get it out.  Once I start to let everything out on the screen I start to feel better about myself and everything else just seems to fall into place.  I don't know if you can follow what I am trying to say, so I will break it down just a little farther.  See because I really don't have anyone to talk to about my problems, issues, and adventures, I have found that writing them out and talking to you my readers is just like having a close personal friend that I can talk to.  You would be surprised at how many times, I have found the answer I was seeking while I was sitting down writing to you all.  

Some of you know me really well, others maybe not.  Those that know me will tell you that I am a very social person. I hate to be alone, and I love to talk to others, and if I don't have that outlet I start to go crazy.  So without having someone here in Daytona that I can really talk to about everything that is happening in my life I turn to my blog and put it all out there.  Once I do that I start feeling better, it is like a great big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and I can finally go on.  This is very important too me, because for so many years I kept everything bottled up inside of me, and when I did let those feelings out it was like a volcanic eruption and it was usually at the wrong person.  So instead of doing that anymore, I have learned that I can purge my feelings and soul by writing out what I am going through and it is just like having a friend close by that I can talk to.

Now with that being said, I want to go a little bit more in depth about what the doctors told me yesterday and why it has me so scared and upset.  But before I do, let me tell you that I have tried to reach out to others, left text messages and called and never got a response so it is time for me to let it all out and maybe someone who reads this will pick up the phone, or drop me a line and of course a dialog will begin and I may feel even better about my situation.  

Yesterday, I went to Orlando to see my infectious disease doctor, and of course the news was not exactly what I wanted to hear.  Now just for the record, no doctor ever tells me something that I want to hear, it is always this negative stuff, and too me it seems like they have given up on me and have already written me off as dead.  But, let me tell you if that is what they are thinking they are in for a rude surprise when I am still here years after they thought I would be gone.  So here we go, a purge is about to begin, so if you don't want to hear what is going on in my life at the moment then I encourage you to leave right now. Stop reading what I am writing and log off of my blog, because I am about to tell you everything the doctors told me yesterday, and why I am so scared of what I have found out.

See most of you know that over the summer and fall I was attacked by a vicious bacterial infection called osteomilitis.  This is a bacterial infection that attacks bones and bone marrow.  It can attack the human body anywhere there is bone. I spent 4 months in a nursing home and 2 months in the hospital.  Very painful, and not any fun at all.  Anyway, I have digressed a little bit, I want to tell you the exact words from my ID physician.  He told me that the MRI that I had done on February 4th showed advanced progression of the bacterial infection and that I would have to go back into a skilled nursing facility to closely monitor the antibiotics that I would have to take.  I was also told that the time that I spent in intensive care back in February had caused some serious complications with my kidneys as well as my liver an it looked like I would have to go through Hep C treatments all over again.  Which is a big concern for myself, because exactly a year ago, I had an aneurysm due to the fact that the Hep C treatment had weakened the vein to my liver and it ruptured on me and I almost bled to death.

So, as you can tell I have some things on my plate that have made me a bit nervous.  But, let me tell you something else that I have become acutely aware of is that by the grace of God and all the many people that are out there praying for me I have been healed and I am closer today in my walk with God then I have ever been before, and I will let nothing and no one weaken that bond that I have finally developed.  I can also tell you that when I thought things were the darkest and I felt like I was going to have to face all of this on my own, my phone rang, and I heard a voice from my past.  It was my best friend, and someone that I love with all my heart.  He told me that he was in trouble and that he was here in Florida and he need my help. I got to speak to him once again tonight and because of our conversation I feel stronger and more sure of myself.  I know that I can do this. I can face this demon head on and with the Might of Jesus and the support of my friends and family I am going to survive this.

Just the other night a really close friend of mine told me that he saw God within me and knew that I had a ministry and a mission to fulfill and because of that he knew that I was not going anywhere and that I would beat this malady that has afflicted my body.  I know that at times, with the pain, and anguish that I face my faith sometimes falters, but only for  a minute. I don't let nothing and no one hold me down and make me sad for long.  I stay positive and focused and that is the way that God meant for us to tackle our problems.  Remember that God helps those that help themselves, and if we let our light shine for Jesus we will never be forsaken or forgotten.  

I have catered to people all my life, I have tried extremely hard to please everyone, I have also tried to rescue every lost soul that I could find and sometimes to the point of hurting myself.  I have to tell you that over the past year I have learned that I cannot be like that anymore. I have to do for myself. I have to stand on my own, and I have to fight, because as I found out the hard way, when things get tough around you, you will be standing there and fighting all alone. No one is going to defend you or have your back unless you are very lucky to find your soul-mate.  Just the other day I told you guys that I thought that I had given up on love, but here I was putting my heart back out there and I am willing to try again.  There has got to be someone out there for me. Someone that wants and needs me as much as I need them.  I will remain strong in my faith and I know that Jesus is going to deliver me through these times of trial and I will be victorious and I will not have to face this all by myself that He has someone out there for me that is willing to stand by my side and will keep me fighting and keep  my head up and my confidence high.  I know this as sure as I am sitting here talking to you.

God will not forsake me in my hour of need, He will not leave me hanging and defenseless.  He is not that kind of God and the closer I walk with Him the more of His divine plan I see, and I know that there is someone just around the corner, just out of sight and reach at this particular moment, but the time is moving faster now and I know that before I wait too much longer the person he has for me will be here and I will not be alone anymore.  I have no more doubts, and my fears are laid to the side because as I approach this new year I feel and sense that change is in the air for me and those around me.  Life is precious and it is a great gift that God has bestowed upon us and we must maintain it and claim it in His name.

Like I said earlier I have done for others to the exclusion of myself and I will not and cannot do it anymore.  So for those of you who are my detractors, those haters that have something against me, or want something from me that I am not ready or willing to give, trust me when I tell you to shove off and move on there is nothing here for you anymore.  See my life has become more intense and I have a network of friends now that are supportive and will stand with me as I face the coming days.  So what is it too you what I write about?  What I disclose on Facebook or in my blog?  You have no claim on me, you can't tell me what to do. If I am hurting you in some way, I am sorry but I have got to be the person God made me and wants me to be.  I am a book that needs to be read, there are strong and powerful lessons to be learned from me and my example, and because I won't listen to you, you want to tell me to stop putting my life out on social media. well screw you! Who do you think you are?  You certainly don't think that I am going to stop just because you said I needed to, do you?  

If you can't abide by my decisions, and you don't like how I put myself out there, then I guess if you don't want your business told on your interactions with me  you need to move on.  Because there is nothing hidden in my life, and if you want your participation hidden then I suggest you don't participate with me, because I  am telling you anything that happens in my life is going to be shared with my readers.  This is what they are here for. They want to learn from my mistakes and they like the way I write, therefore I am sorry, I am not going to change for you!

All my life I have dealt with people like you wanting to control me for your own gain, to use me and what I can do for you.  But honey it is too late and I have been about used up.  I am moving on so should you.  I haven't got anything left for you. There are always going to be haters out there and they will always try to pull you down, they can't stand to see you happy or you succeeding but too bad I am not up for grabs, I have my eye set on a prize and I think I am going to claim it and make it mine finally. Personally I have waited a long time for a specific person and if they still aren't ready now, I am willing to wait some more.  

I hope you can understand what I am saying, where I am coming from and the direction I am heading there is no room this time for others to hang on and drag at me. I am free, and I am going to fly, and when I do, I am going to do it with or without your support.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Can you pin point the defining moment in your life in which your world changed? Here is where mine did

I want to talk to you about inspiration, about those people that have touched your life and have shown you that there is strength and power by living through or overcoming a personal tragedy.  I know you have heard me before that I find inspiration in a lot of things that happen around me.  But there is so much more to my story that I think you might find interesting.  I would like to take you back 22 years with me into my personal history.  There is a story there that needs to be retold.  I am sure it will enlighten a great many of you, and explain some of my more hard to understand habits.  To give you a little background filler before I dive into the actual story, I graduated high school in 1986 in June, by September 1986 I was starting my adventure in the Navy.

Just so that you understand this totally, I knew already by that time that I was gay. I embraced my nature and used my time in the Navy to explore my sexuality.  You may have heard me say a time or two that I have no regrets and feel no remorse for any of my actions.  However, after reading my friends post the other day, and then writing the blog entry "It's never too late to learn something new about ourselves" and then "True Friendship" I began to realize that I do have one regret.  One unforgivable action/reaction on my part, that was to have the biggest wide ranging affect on my life.  This one deed would change me, it was a defining moment in my history, that changed my outlook on everything, it was the single most terrifying experience of my life, and the horrible and damnable action that ensured that I would never treat anyone cavalierly again.

It was December 1, 1989 my 21st birthday, I had met someone in 1987 when I was first transferred from Great Lakes to Norfolk, VA.  He was a marine and at the time I thought he was stationed at Portsmouth Naval Hospital.  We really liked each other, but here I was very young and naive and what he was about to tell me that night so long ago changed my life forever.  Some of you who are close to me may already know this, so at this point I must ask you to bear with me let me retell the story, because I am sure that there are parts here that you are unaware of.  To celebrate my birthday we had gotten a hotel room for the weekend in Norfolk and we had a fun filled fabulous weekend all planned.  Both of us were off duty for the weekend and we were going to celebrate my birthday in style.  Oh, how I wished that was what happened, but that night as we were getting ready to celebrate my coming of age, I was soaking in the bathtub, we had planned to go out to dinner first and then go to the Oar House, a gay bar in Norfolk, because I could legally drink and enjoy myself.  But as I said none of that ever happened.

I am not sure what prompted him to reveal to me that very night what he did, and I guess I will never know the reason why.  But as I was sitting there soaking, he came into the bathroom, he had a ring in a little box, as he bent down to give it too me he stopped and kissed me and said, I have to tell you something.  I was so excited I immediately begged for him to tell me, and what unfolded pretty much ruined our plans, and certainly my actions doomed the entire relationship in that one instant.  He said to me "Bryan, I have to be honest with you, because I love you and want to spend my life with you, but there is something you need to know.  I am not stationed at Portsmouth like I let you believe, I am a patient there:" He held my hand and looked me in the eye and I saw tears forming and I got very scared, I begged for him to tell me.  This is what he said "I am HIV Positive and I am here for treatment, do you know what HIV is?  You do realize that it is going to kill me, I don't know how long I have or how this is all going to pan out, but I want to spend what time I have with you."  My heart sank at that moment and we both sat there crying.  I tried to be brave, but guess what I didn't understand, I didn't know enough about the disease and I was scared.  We stayed in that night, but the next morning I made the single most fatal mistake I could ever make.  I made an excuse, took his car and left, I avoided him for the next two days, leaving him a message that I had parked his car at his barracks and had given the keys to the master at arms.  He called and called and I wouldn't take his calls, finally I gave in on the third day. We had lunch at the commissary, and he tried to talk to me, reassure me, but again, I was young and very very dumb.  I pretended I was listening, I shook my head and made the proper acknowledgements, and then I left.  It would be almost 2 months before we would see each other again.

In that two months, I learned everything I could about the disease, I called my mother who was a nurse, I talked to the doctors at the Naval hospital to find out how they were treating him, and when I felt comfortable enough and armed enough with enough knowledge I went back to see him, to apologize for my behavior and my reaction, but fate would have it another way.  The drugs they were throwing at patients back then, were nothing like they are now. Doctors had no real idea of what they were doing, and the combination of AZT and other medicines blasted the body, in attempts to kill the virus, but it also destroyed the remaining immune system.  Now, realize that 2 months had passed since I was told, and he had found out he was sick 6 months earlier, and by the next month he would be gone forever.  Worse than anything, he never ever got to hear my apology, and will never know that the last 2 months of his life I was there with him every day and night around my duty schedule. See, by the time I had finally come to my senses and realized that he needed me and that there was nothing to be afraid of, AIDS related dementia had set in.  There were a couple of days when he was lucid and seemed to remember things, but in the end the very last day, his family was there and I walked into the room and he look up and said "Who the fuck are you? and What are you doing here?" I had lost him, he died that afternoon, and never knew how sorry I was, how I regretted my actions, how I robbed him of the only happiness that he wanted. How I cheated him and betrayed his love and trust.

It is because of what happened that day in March 1990 that I changed my life, the way I approached things, I became the person I am today.  I dedicated my life to loving and helping others, to care for those sick and to fight for their rights, I marched on Washington with the other people that were affected by HIV/AIDS, I have participated in the PRIDE marches, became an advocate and activist working to find a cure.  He was the first person I lost to the disease but unfortunately not the last.  In 2002 I lost my one of my best friends he just celebrated his 31st birthday, and there have been so many others.  People always want to know why I go out of my way to help others, why I give away everything I have trying to make other peoples lives better, why I reach my hand out to teach them how to take care of themselves and why I struggled to keep people off the street.  Here is the reason why!  I never got to say good-bye, I never could apologize or take back my actions for deserting my first lover to the cruel clutches of a disease I barely understood.  But, I damn well could make up for it and atone for what I did for the rest of my life. It has been 23 years now, and I still feel the same way.  But now I am not just affected by the disease I am infected.  In December of 2006, I was diagnosed with HIV, I immediately went on the retro-virals and antivirals because of my medical history.  I have been undetectable ever since.

In the past I have heard people describe me as being fake and phony, even two-faced, and why?  Because everyone thought I was too good to be true, they couldn't believe that I was so nice, they kept trying to see where the other foot was coming down from.  Because they believed that no one could be nice and loving and kind like I have been. Over the years many people have taken advantage of my kindness they took it for a weakness and tried to exploit it. Sadly some succeeded, but most came to realize over time, that I was just what I appeared to be, someone who genuinely loved other people, regardless of their health, race, sexual orientation, creed, culture, whatever.  Those who took the time to get to know me realized that I was the same year after year and time after time.

Now, I am going to take a minute and pat myself on the back and sing my own praises.  I am sure John, Sa'corey, Patrick, Judy, Nathan, Kerrion and others can attest and will tell you I am not lying about this.  In my lifetime I have helped hundreds of people, taken them in off the street, giving them food, shelter and whatever else I could to help them, taught them how to look after themselves, some I helped get into school, get a job, or whatever they needed at the time.  To the world at large I never let anyone outside of my intimate circle ever know how hard I struggled, how much it cost me, I never had an unkind word to say about anyone, and I gave till it physically hurt me, almost crippled me, but never stopped.  I had a job where I was making $150,000.00 a year and literally I gave everything away over and over again.  Yes I did drive an Infiniti G-35 and I did make sure I had decent clothes and shoes, but I dedicated my life to helping other people. I didn't realize until recently that other people saw this and drew inspiration from it.  That I helped them realize the goodness inside themselves and helped them reach a point in their lives where they wanted to become a better person, they took my life as an example.  I am honored and blessed by this, and I think it is a glowing tribute to the person I have become, and shining memorial to the one I lost.  But there's more to the story.

In January of 2005, almost 14 years after I was first diagnosed with cancer, which came in 1992 when I was 24 years old and 2 years my beautiful marine had died.  I had to have the first of many surgeries which would change my life in another direction forever.  This is when I had to have a colostomy put in, for those of you who don't know what a colostomy is, it is a bag that is attached to my stomach where my crap comes out. I know longer have the use of my rectum.  But I digress, in January 2005 was the first time that I came face to face with my mortality and it was when God and I had our first talk.  Whether you believe me or not, it really doesn't matter, because I believe what happened and that is what governs my life.  I died on the operating table and I saw God or an Angel, and I had a long conversation with Him.  I was told that my work on Earth was not done that there was a message that I needed to take back with me, and that I needed to keep doing what I was doing but show the world by deed and action as well as through my dedication to helping others, the message was and still is very simple. I was told to tell everyone that they were wrong, had missed the point of what Jesus said and why He died and for the last 8 years I have been doing just that.

For whatever reason the church seems hung up on the Old Testament.  They seem to have forgotten that when Jesus hung on the cross that something amazing and wonderful happened.  The covenant between Abraham and God was broken, that the gulf created by original sin was now bridged and that a new covenant was created between Jesus and man, that we were no longer under the law, but saved by Grace.  That our sins were washed away by the innocent blood of Christ.  Now, under this new covenant Jesus had given His disciples 4 commandments.  If we live by these and abide by them, then we are ensured a place in Heaven.  Now, I tell you that the 10 commandments of the Old Testament are good to live by and they ensure you to be a good person, but they will not get you into Heaven, that boat sailed and has passed.  Under the new covenant, is based on LOVE, the message of Christ is of LOVE, UNITY AND ACCEPTANCE.  The commandments that are given are: Do unto others as you would have done unto you, love thy neighbor as thy self. All one commandment...second commandment is Children obey your parents so that your days will be many, third is I am the way the truth and the light and no one comes to the father except through me. I am the alpha and the omega the beginning and the end.  Fourth is to go out and be fishers of men, meaning witness, testify, live your life as an example and be like Jesus.

It is important to understand these, because the message that the church is still sending out today is one of intolerance, bigotry and hatred.  They condemn anyone who thinks or acts differently then they do.  Jesus live a live of love, tolerance and acceptance, bringing unity to everywhere he went.  He didn't hang out with the religious leaders, he ministered, preached and helped the common man, poor man, the outcast, the thief, prostitutes, etc.  He treated everyone equally with love and respect and he expects nothing less of us today.

Even though I have been told time and again that I am not going to make it, that I am going to die and that having 6 terminal illnesses should be devastating for me.  I keep replying and telling them, it isn't my time yet, I have work yet to do, and though you may think that I am going to die, the truth is that we are all dying at different rates each day.  That I was planning on out living them all. See I know that since I have dedicated my life to helping others and giving of myself that God is going to continue to keep me and reward me, that is all that matters.  So won't you join me on this journey, won't you turn over your life to helping others, give of yourself and spread the word of Love, Unity and Acceptance?

Think about it would you?  If you honestly believe in God and trust that Jesus died for our sins, you will come to realize that the message is clear and plain for anyone to see.  All you have to do is follow.  He has been waiting right here for 2000 years few have found the message and the path.  He said it was the road less traveled and that few would find the path and the gate.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

A problem with organized religion and what the church has missed

I have been thinking a lot about the state of the world today and the role that the church plays in it.  To my dismay it has become evident that the whole christian church has missed the boat, their philosophy is their own and not that of Jesus.  Honestly, the church calls themselves christian, which means that they believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.  The teach that the New Testament is the teachings and life of Jesus, so why don't they demonstrate in their preaching and lifestyle that they are believers.  How did they miss the boat, and why do they continue to teach hate and intolerance.  Each minister, pastor, priest, preacher and teacher has to go through extensive training via seminary to become ordained, yet they continue to focus primarily on the Old Testament.

This is a major dilemma for the church, because they are in the wrong. How did they miss the message that was sent and shown to them at Calvary, when Jesus died on the cross for the sins of the world?  How is it 2000 years later they still haven't figured it out.  Don't they know that if Jesus came back today that the modern church would be just as condemned as the church was 2000 years ago. That the religious leaders haven't changed, they are still doing the same things that Jesus told them was wrong way back then.  See, the problem is God gave 2 Covenants to the faithful, the first is discussed at great lengths in the Old Testament, it was governed and presided over by the Priests, the church was a tent that God had given exacting specifications on, there was a section in which God himself resided. This was called the Holy of Holies and only the High Priest was allowed to enter.  Sacrifices and atonement was made by the priests on behalf of the people and the law of the ten commandments was the governing laws of the time.

Problem is that Covenant ended when Christ chose to die at Calvary. His blood is the bridge that crosses the gap of original sin.  No longer did we need the priest to intercede on our behalf, we now have a direct link through Christ. He became the ultimate sacrifice, and through him we are saved and granted Salvation.  The old covenant between God and Abraham ended when as Jesus died the temple veil tore in two.  A person can now only be saved through Jesus, as He said "I am the way the truth and the life, no one can come to the Father accept through Me."  The new covenant that God gave to us through Jesus was much simpler, and gentler than the old covenant.  No longer did the Ten Commandments hold sway, because Jesus gave new commandments.  He gave a new direction and mission to the church.  The problem is the church by the time of Christ had grown into a bureaucracy and as with any large body is resistant to change.  Here we are 2000 years later and the church is still teaching out of the Old Testament, shoring up their fences with hatred, fear, intolerance and unfortunately they are terribly mistaken.

Being saved by Grace which is what the New Covenant is called, is all about love, patience, acceptance, and good will.  We are commanded to go out and be fishers of men, to give our testimony and lead others to Christ for salvation.  We were given just a few commandments to follow, Love one another as you love yourself, Children obey your parents so that your days may be many, go out and be fishers of men are the commandments that show that the face of God had changed, had become more tolerant and forgiving.  In this day and age the commandments have been integrated into our law system and protect all people. These are the guiding principles that we all strive to live by.  However, each denomination still denies anyone who doesn't believe exactly like they do, still cling to the old testament with was called being saved under the Law.  Law being Deuteronomy and Leviticus and the Ten Commandments.

There are so many things that they modern church preaches against that stem directly from the old testament and are repealed by the teachings of Jesus.  One of the things I a talking about is Homosexuality, in the Old Testament it was considered an abomination and punishable by death.  But in the New Testament there is something said that is totally different and keeps being over looked and not comprehended by hundreds of theologians and that is troubling that these scholars don't even believe what they claim as the gospel.  In Romans same sex interaction is again addressed, but this time you should read the passages very carefully because there is something hidden in them that is very enlightening and important for everyone to understand.  See it starts out something like this, bear with me I am doing this totally from memory.  When a man burns for lust for another and a woman yearns for another working that which is unseemly, those that do not keep God in their mind and heart will be turned over to a reprobate mind, and they become hater, backbiters, etc. the punishment of their ways are death.  However, further reading reveals that those that keep God in their hearts and mind receive the recompense of their ways is meet.  This is very important because it means that those of us that are gay and believe in God, are not forsaken, we are not an abomination, that we receive here on earth the recompense or payment for the error of their ways is meet, meaning we shall receive our punishment if you want to think of it that way here (meet).

So those that teach and think that you cannot be gay and christian aren't really christian either.  For they have missed the boat, they are clinging to the old testament like it is a life line and all it is, is an example to live a good life by. The old testament was created to control the large crowd of refugees that were liberated from the pharaoh by Moses, and led into the wilderness of the desert. Maintaining order and discipline would have been a nightmare and almost impossible if not for the ten commandments.  These laws and rules were put in place to ensure that compliance was mandatory, and the punishments for breaking them was swift and vicious, to ensure that they were obeyed.   But in  when Jesus came into the world the wandering in the desert was over, society and a nation were born and being ruled.  There were no longer any need for them or the punishments described in exodus and leviticus.  The old way wasn't working any longer and the church was taking advantage of the people and doing things that angered Jesus.  So He set out to show them by example how to live a life of purity and faith, He gave examples and extolled virtues in His sermons, He encouraged acceptance of everyone, no matter who or what they were.  He commanded that we love one another, to harm no one, to be obedient, to forgive, resist retribution and to bring His message of love and forgiveness to the world.

He condemned those who judged, He protected the weak and the lowly, and he walked with the common people.  He loved everyone equally.  We were to learn by his example, and to preach that God was a benevolent and forgiving God that loved us and cared for us because He had made us.  The message Jesus brought was of hope and love, kindness and understanding.  So why has the church missed this, why do they splinter and fracture over idiosyncratic beliefs.  Why are there so many different denominations all proclaiming that they are right and if you don't believe like them then you are truly not saved and unworthy of their help or support.  Why are we still hell bent on persecuting those that are different then us, judging them and casting aspersions upon them.  It isn't our place to judge anyone, because none of us are blameless, we were all born into original sin and separated forever from the love of God until we come to accept and are saved by Jesus.  How hard is it to see and understand?  When are they going to get it?  When will the church stop misleading people and embrace the truth the Jesus is the Son of God, and become real christian's and faithful to His teachings?

It is so  important for us to understand that no one has the right to judge us, tell us what we believe is right or wrong, and further we have a shining example of how we are supposed to live our life's and how we are supposed to act and react.  It isn't hard and Jesus is patient, and if you truly believe and are a christian you will understand that the church is wrong, and Jesus even made a provision for those of us who would eventually come to realize that the church is off track and heading for a big surprise when He comes again.  See Jesus told his followers about the church, warned them actually and gave the following provision to keep us safe from the wiles and pitfalls of the church..He said "When to or three are gathered there, I shall be also."  Amazing isn't it that Jesus had enough foresight to see that the church wasn't going to be the body to save the people that they were going to have to come directly to him and they didn't need to be in a huge congregation to do it.  They only had to have faith and worship him, with just two or three the Lord would be there.

Jesus's message is quite simple really Love each other and everything, be kind and gentle, practice forgiveness, extend understanding to everyone, and don't judge because what is right for you may not be right for someone else.  The easiest way to be a real christian is to ask yourself at each juncture "What would Jesus do", or WWJD.  Without a doubt something each of us should learn how to ask.  So, if you are not accepted by your church because you are different, or gay or just don't believe exactly along the same lines as them, be assured that you are not wrong, because God loves you and created you just as you are.  We are all flawed and imperfect and that is what makes us unique and totally human.  Love yourself and your fellow man, be helpful, kind, caring and compassionate and you cannot go wrong.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B