Oh to be Thankful

It's that time of year again where we come together as family and friend's too celebrate what we are thankful for, the blessings that we have received throughout the previous year.

This tradition comes from our forefathers that pioneered our country, but has since become a worldwide tradition. Families all around the world get together this one day out of the year to celebrate and give thanks for what they have, what they have come through, and who hey are with.

Thanksgiving is the beginning of our holiday season, where people start thinking and caring for others. Last year at this time I asked each of you to try and celebrate your blessings daily. I asked you to think of others besides yourself and to reach your hand out in love and friendship to any and everyone that you came in contact with. Remember me telling you that you never know where a casual conversation is going to lead you. I also stressed that by extending our selves with compassion ,love and understanding that the world around us would become a much better place. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own problems and ignore or choose not to see those around us that may be struggling with life and living ourselves. Don't you think it would be a much happier and friendlier place to live if everyone around us followed my advice?

I keep trying to remind you that everything in this life is temporary and transitory. Now for those of you that don't understand what I am trying to tell you here is a better way to think about things. Each and every situation that you find yourself in,  know in your heart that somehow you are going to make it through. The way my grandmother used to put it was " this too shall pass".  Transitory means ever changing or moving around., nonpermanent.  Just think about it, how much easier is your life going to be if you always keep in mind that everything moves on, no problem is too big and won't last forever. Because everything in our physical world has an expiration date. We may not know what that date is, all we need to know is that for a period of time you are going to have to deal with it and then it is gone.  This alone should lift some of your hearts. But, keep in mind that you are probably not the only person going through whatever it is. Someone out there is dealing with something very similar and might have the answer that you are looking for.

This time of year is also a time to work through self pity and depression, no matter what you are going through or facing, there is someone else out there that is going through something much more difficult or who is worse off then you. By giving thanks daily for the blessings you receive will make it easier for you to put yourself in someone else's shoes. To truly understand what they are going through and will allow you to extend your hand in compassion. Helping them to ease their burden and by doing so may actually ease your own.

Thanksgiving is a time where we need to reach out to those around us who comfort us, strengthen us, and give us stability and thank them for their help and support.  I have learned over the last few years just how important a support network is to me. Especially now that I am sick.  Life happens to everyone and time marches forward and none of us knows when our time will end here on earth.

So let me tell each of you this: I am thankful and grateful that each and everyone of you is in my life. You mean the world to me, and have been through an awful lot of health issues and relationship problems, but as always I have made it through and I want you to know that I couldn't have come this far without your love, support and help. You are my extended family. I love you!

Once again I call on you to not just make Thanksgiving not just one day a year but a celebration that last throughout the coming year. I promise that by being thankful and being loving and compassionate to others will make your world so much better and people will respond in kind. Trust me this can work and each of us can make this world a better place. Remember that nothing lasts forever and you will make it through. Let me know how you are doing.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

I want to tell you how amazing things can turn out!

Last nights entry was all about me embarking on a new phase of my life and how I had taken a leap of faith and just moved out of my parents house, and how things were going.  Well, let me tell you about the day that I have had today! Because miracles and wonders never stop around me.  Remember how I told you last night that you just need to step out, take a leap of faith and trust that God has your back.  Well, God surely looks out for those of us that are working hard to improve ourselves, let me tell you.  I moved all of my stuff last night to the hotel like I told you I was going to do.  I also told you that as I was unloading my car one of my co-workers came up to me and told me that I was going to have to pay a $200.00 deposit for staying there on top of the $363.28 I had already paid them.  It hurt my feelings and really kind of upset me if the truth must be told. Instead of wallowing and storing that anger, I wrote in my blog and then I prayed on the situation, left it at God's feet and went to sleep.

I had a really rough night, because apparently no one has stayed in that room in rather a long time.  Because in the middle of the night I woke up with my sinus full, eyes watering and me sneezing.  All I could smell was dust, the pillows were filled with, so was the blankets and the sheets, with me being allergic to dust I really wasn't feeling all that well.  Anyhow, I survived through the night and woke up this morning to make myself some coffee, and the coffee maker was filled with mold.  Now, you can imagine how upset I was about all of this, because the $200.00 deposit was to make sure that the room was clean and ready for the next person to just come right on in. Well, long story short once I saw the state of the coffee maker I decided to start looking around the room, and it was filthy.  The air conditioner was also full of dust, the bathtub had black foot prints in it and the floors throughout needed to be swept.

I got out the broom and was about to start cleaning up the place when my cell phone rang, and this guy Aaron called.  A woman I had met through work had given him my information, and told him that I was looking for a place to move into.  She told him a little about my situation and told him what a nice guy I am and so forth.  So, he decided to call me and offer to show me his condo that he has for rent. He went on to explain to me that it is a very large 2 bedroom with 1 bath, a nice size eat in kitchen with all new appliances.  He told me that the rent would be $700.00 a month, and that included everything but electric.  I explained to him that I had already given my money out on the hotel, and that I had no idea if I would get my money back.  He patiently listened to me and then said to me, well you know what the place is ready to move in and already has electric, you can either move in right away or stay at the hotel and move your stuff in slowly over the next two weeks, which ever I wanted to do, he had already paid the bills for this month, so he really wasn't losing any money at this point.  He told me to just go look at the place and make a decision.

So I went and looked at the place, and I loved it, it is large and quiet and perfect for me.  As a matter of fact it seemed like it was just made for me. It looks a lot like the apartment I had in East Point last year that I lost and I like the location of the place, it is convenient to everything the stores, walmart, work and only 12 miles away from my parents.  I honestly couldn't ask for anything better at this point.  But, this isn't all to the story, Aaron went on to tell me that I could stay in the apartment till the end of the month and owe him nothing and just work on getting the electric turned over into my name as soon as I could. He also told me that he was willing to work with me on the deposit.  That we would split it up over three months and that on the 3rd of November I would just have to pay him part of the deposit and the rent of $700.00.  Now, can you see the Hand of God working here?  I can, this man doesn't know me at all.  I took a leap of faith and stepped out of the comfort of home earlier than expected to make sure that everything was ready for my step-brother and his girlfriend's arrival, that way my step-mom wouldn't have to work so hard to get the room ready with just a little time before they get here.  Aaron is taking a leap of faith that he can trust me, letting me use the place and live here till we can get everything finalized and in writing.  That is God's work!  He is taking care of me just like I told you He would.

We never really know what the outcome of any decision we make is going to be.  We hope for the best and plan for the worst, and when we leave the situation in God's hands it always works out just exactly as it is meant too.  I knew that God had my back and I knew that no matter what I did I was going to make out okay.  That is exactly what happened.  I am so thankful for this and all of the many other blessings that God has given me this year.  All it take is a little patience, effort and faith and things turn out just the way God wants them too.  I am now safe and in my new home, and since I never took possession of the hotel, on Monday I am going to go back and ask for a refund of my money.  I may loose a little bit of it, but guess what in the long run it was worth the effort.

Yesterday when I was writing to you I had no idea how things were going to turn out for me. I didn't know if I would ever find a place to call home, nor did I think I was going to be able to make it with how tight money is for me right now, and I was worried about all of these things and a whole lot more. Now if my boyfriend comes around we have a place that is our home, and I am happy that everything worked out exactly as it did.  There might be a little friction trying to get my money back, but I think that once I take my coworker up and show her the room and prove that I haven't been in there, that she will stand by me as I try to get my cash back from my boss.

So again I tell you that sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and do something, anything, put forth some effort, because as the Bible tells us God helps those that help themselves and here is living testimony of that fact.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

What is meant to be always finds a way!

With this line of thinking I have opened for myself a whole can of worms, I am not sure I can find the answers for which my line of thought has been leading me too.  It all started yesterday with the shooting at the Dark Knight premiere in Colorado.  Jessica Redfield a sports blogger and upcoming journalist from Denver, had narrowly escaped being killed a month before in a shooting spree that took place in a Toronto Mall, met her tragic death at the premiere of the Dark Knight Rises, Thursday night, Friday morning.  This has brought up in my mind the question of Destiny, pre-ordination, and fate. These are questions that haunt me and make me question whether, our lives are all pre-written, is our future locked in stone and unchangeable? 

This pictures seems to answer that question:  It seems to indicate that our lives are on a path, and that our futures are pre-written.

I have been praying and thinking on this for awhile trying to understand exactly what this means.  I believe that our future is a series of possibilities and probabilities, and that depending on the decisions and actions we take at specific points in our lives is what dictates what our possible future might be.  So while it may appear that our future is cut in stone and unchangeable.  It is not!  What are forged in stone are way-points or milestones which are decision points, where our choice and probabilities unfold the next path our journey.

As I have been thinking on this an analyzing my thoughts on destiny, fate, future, and how it unfolds.  I think that because we have free will and choice, that there are only predefined events, which I have called way-points or milestones in our lives. You can think of these sort of as save points in windows.  Places where you are making a change or decision and you have to save a place in-case something goes wrong and you have to go back.  Unfortunately, we as people don't have to ability to go back and undo or change what has happened like a computer, but we do have significant places of decision.  This is where I think we have the ability to change or re-write our future, based on the choices we make.  

Now, I want you to think on this, we make a thousand decisions a minute sometimes, and our brain is able to process this in a way that we hardly have to take the time out to consider them all, but in actuality, each decision that we make can influence the outcome of our future. If you understand where I am coming from you might begin to see that for each and every decision there are thousands of possible solutions. Not just the obvious ones we routinely choose from.  I believe that each time we make a decision we set the direction our future will take.  If we take the time to actually think about an analyze each and every question, decision, action that we are faced with and actually, literally and truthfully look at these, there are many different answers, actions, choices we could make.  Some may not be easily seen or recognized because they are abstract and are outside of our norm.  When I am talking about our norm, this is actually our rational pattern that we have adopted, it is what makes us predictable and sort of defines us.  I think that if you are really wanting to change your destiny, outcome and fate, you must at times break out of your pattern of behavior, and think outside of the box, and take a different path then what has always been comfortable with you. 

It may also be easier to look at things from multiple perspectives when trying to make a decision.  Now, as I have pointed out our lifetimes are filled with decision points, way-points, milestones and how do we know which ones are the major ones.  The ones that are going to change our lives and re-write our fate, history and our future?  The answer is we don't! This is the honest answer, because I know sometimes it is easy to see where major concerns, questions, and paths can lead to different outcomes, but it is also my contention that the smallest decision can also greatly influence the path that you are one.  I do not believe that life is easy or was made to be easy at all.  That each question should be a challenge to our thinking and our pattern.

There are several schools of thought on this.  You have certain religions, that don't believe that the future is at all pre-ordained and that it is exemplified by us having free will. Unfortunately, I wish that was true.  Another school of thought is that of chaos, that all things originate and return to chaos.  I hesitate and think that they aren't exactly on the right path either.  I don't think that it is easy to see the future, and I don't believe that are path is written, I do however, belief that there are spots, in our lives that we have to face and go through. These are the portions of our history that are foretold, they are inevitable and are going to happen no matter what we do or how we plan around them.  It is from these points that our actions, reactions and choices dictate where we go next and how well we do.  Until we reach the next way-point or milestone.   The picture above is what I am referring to when I talk about this.  It says "Whats meant to be will always find a way", some of you may think that this is disheartening, that it takes away hope and faith.  But it actuality it should do just the opposite.  See, it is not only referring to the bad things and the tragedy's in our lives and future, but also the good things and the blessings we are going to receive.  

It is unfortunate, about Jessica Redfield and that she lost her life, but in a way using that picture above, I can sort of make some sense of this terrible tragedy.  See, and here you probably won't agree with me, but that is okay, because I am not expecting everyone to agree with everything I have to say, and I am just following a thought to a conclusion, whether it is right or wrong will depend entirely up to you. Because the truth of the matter is this, what may be right and true for one person may not be accurate and true for you.  That is the amazing thing about life and philosophy, and the spiritual journey that we are all on.  It is your own path and your own set of truths that are going to be revealed for you. Some of the things you learn on your journey are going to help you and others, and some aren't.  Further, what another person learns on their journey may help you and then again it may help everyone but you, because your walk is different from their's.    As I was saying, Jessica narrowly escaped the mall shooting in Toronto a month ago, only to find her life taken from her at a movie premiere.  I think it is sad and pointless for her to have died, but I do realize that maybe it was meant for her to have died, and so another way had to happen for it to take place. 

You may say how can you think like that, and that other people died too at the same time.  I am not saying that this was her fault or doing at all. I think that each of us have an allotted time and when our time comes, and death arrives to take us, it is our time and we must go.  I think that it was her time and that of the others that went with her, the circumstances of how and why it happened are terrible, and I won't pretend to understand the motivation of the man that committed these acts.  Because the truth is I don't really understand at all what would make another person feel comfortable with or even dream of hurting another person, much less taking their life.  Because to me Life is the greatest gift that we have been given, and we should protect it and guard it jealously, because it is the only one we get, and we should cherish it always.  

I know sometimes it might be hard to cherish life, especially if you are sick or have been hurt. But, guess what, I think it is at those times when we are truly vulnerable and can see our own mortality, that we are more appreciative and thankful for what we have been granted.  Jessica wrote in her blog something that is inspiring and very touching that I would like to also share with you, because I find that it is one of the reasons why I write to you and talk about all these things. She had written in her blog after the shootings in Toronto the following: "I was reminded that we don't know when or where our time on Earth will end."  Because it is true that we never know when we are going to die or even how, I suggest resolving conflicts in your life, never leave anyone with an angry word, and be honest and tell people that you care about how much you love them.  I know how hard it is to loose someone and not have the chance to say goodbye and reconcile things with them when you have parted on less then perfect terms and how you hold that shame and regret with you every day that you are alive.  

Please walk away from reading this with the understanding that I don't believe that any one future, is absolute, that I believe that when confronted with a choice, a way-point or milestone, there are an infinite number of solutions or directions we can take, and how we choose and the choice we make, dictate the direction our lives are going to follow.  There are only but single moments in our personal history that can be predicted, and those moments are what cannot be changed, and are what is meant to be. These are the task, questions, and decisions that we have to make, and if we follow suit in our own natural pattern, our future might be predictable and even seen.  However, if you routine, try to think outside of the box and change your pattern for the betterment of you and those around you. You constantly write and choose your own path and future.  There are millions of possible futures open to you, but only one leads to a bright, perfect and happy one.  Choose wisely and think through everything. Take the philosophers journey with me and explore the meaning of everything and question all.  Might be fascinating to learn the results.  

With all of that being said, I would like to leave you with the following thoughts.  "Shit happens!" and my answer to it is: "So what, Who Cares...Get over It!"  Trust me this makes life so much easier to deal with and to be ready to accept what is thrown at you.  

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Thought you might like an update....

For those of you who don't follow me on Facebook, I figured I would give you an update on my status and why I haven't written much in the past 2 weeks.  For those of you that do follow me on Facebook this might be a little repetitive and for that I apologize.  However, you might find out a little more here since space is sort of limited on Facebook as to what I can post.

Anyhow, July 3rd, I decided to buy a scooter as a mode of transportation to get to and from different events.  I figured this would give me a little more independence and give my parents some slack in running me around.  But as usual if it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck, and no matter how much planning I seem to do to accomplish a task, something inevitably goes wrong every time.  So I shouldn't be at all surprised that as soon as I paid for the thing disaster was poised to strike.  Now, you must keep in mind that my father was against me getting this thing from the very beginning and as such has been almost unbearable to live with because of the "I told you so's" and "You never listen to anything I have to say".

Now, not even 10 minutes after I paid for the darn thing, I decided to take a spin around the block just to check it out, I was turning around in a little apartment complex and was sitting at the stop sign waiting to turn right.  Just as I was beginning to go I felt a jolt from behind and the scooter went out of control and started heading for the ditch on the opposite side of the street.  The bad thing is as it was heading toward the ditch, it tipped to the left and I was pinned underneath it as it slid across the pavement.  Needless to say I have lacerations and cuts from top of my head to my foot along the whole left side of my body.  I also broke my ankle in this endeavor.  Before I knew what was happening I flagged down a car and asked them to help me, I knew my head was bleeding but I didn't think I was hurt very badly.  As a matter of fact I kept insisting I was fine as they were trying to strap me down to a backboard.  Now, 2 officers responded to the scene and an ambulance and fire truck, and within minutes I was whisked away to the hospital.

After what seemed like forever, I was examined by the doctor and taken off the backboard, and laid on the bed to get more comfortable.  Now, you all know me and I am a crazy person, I do things that are risky all the time but this wasn't something that I thought was a risk at all.  I was wrong, if you want to know more about that look at my blog entry on "Advice Freely Given".  All I can say at this point is I am glad I am alive and I wasn't hurt more than I was.  Because I just had surgery on June 18th and I had staples from my breast bone to my groin, and honestly I had no business driving let alone being on a scooter.  All that being said, the staples were examined and removed on Friday the 6th of July and everything was fine until Sunday morning.  When I woke up I felt a sharp pain and itching sensation in my abdomen and when I looked 3 sutures had worked their way to the surface of my incision line.  I went to the surgeon today and found out that they are there because when he operated on me he had to cut the muscles and tissue to remove scar tissue and adhesion's that had formed from all my previous surgeries and these sutures are to hold the muscle and tissue in place so they heal properly.

The ends were very sharp and that is what was cutting and scratching my skin and causing me some discomfort.  The bad news was he was unable to remove the sutures because it is still too early and the healing isn't complete.  He told me that the knots had to stay in for at least another month.  He also told me to not be alarmed if they broke through the incision and came to the surface over time.  He was able however to cut the ends off the knots so that they would no longer irritate my skin and tissue and with that being done, I should start to feel better soon.  Directly after leaving the surgeon's office, I went to the orthopedic surgeons office to have my ankle evaluated and was delighted to find out that the actual break wasn't as bad as I had first thought.

I was able to have a walking cast put on, and told that it should only have to stay in place for 4 weeks which is another great piece of news because originally I was told I would be off my foot entirely for the next 12 weeks.  I am probably going to have a lot of scaring because of the abrasions I sustained in the accident but overall I things are definitely looking better than first thought.  Now I am hoping that tomorrow when I go to see the scooter and the damage from the accident the same will be true there as well.  I know my parents are totally against me getting the thing fixed and riding it, and I am not sure I would be brave enough to get back on it right away. But like anything else in my life, I am not going to let it get me down and hold me back.  So regardless of what they have to say, my intention is to get it repaired and fixed up the way I want it.  From that point if I want to sell it or keep it the choice is mine.  See, I set myself on this course and the end result is still the same.  Even though they are mad and think I have wasted the money I have.  The fact of the matter is I made the choice now, I have to live with it.  From my point of view when you are handed lemons, make lemon aide, further I refuse to look at this as a negative, I find it easier to deal with the turmoils in my life when I can find the positive in the events that have taken place.

I wish everyone could do that and not dwell on the "I told you so's" and "why don't you listen" and "I was right and you were wrong" because frankly that just causes hard feelings and doesn't really accomplish anything.  As with all things in my life I will get over it and I have learned something along the way.  I find that humans learn better by failing and getting hurt than by not trying at all.  Pain gives us the impetus to keep from making the same mistake twice, and trust me I now know what I am doing and will be on guard against it from happening again.  Plus, it is ridiculous to think that an accident is something that was ordained. It wasn't planned hence calling it an accident, and guess what I am still alive and the material possession can be fixed or replaced.  How could I have possibly have known that I was going to get hit by someone and that all of this would have transpired?  I couldn't and even if I had a crystal ball and divine guidance I probably only would have seen probable futures, because until the events actually unfold many different variables come into play.

Like I said I will not let this get me down or defeat me, and no matter how my parents treat me because of this situation I am still going to do what I think is best. I keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes and my favorite analogy springs to mind "Shit Happens".  It is time to keep my head up and keep moving forward,  because as my best friend would say "So What, Who Cares, Get over it!"

For some other good news, I spent the day in Orlando yesterday with the VA.  Met with the infectious disease doctor, and my HIV viral load is back to undetectable and my CD4 count is 298 and climbing.  Further, there have been no complications to the Hep C, and it looks like the treatment is going to eradicate the disease from my body totally without permanent damage.  In other words, even though my surgery didn't go quite as expected, my body has begun fighting for itself and is doing a great job of putting everything in check.  They have also down graded my renal disease from stage 4 to stage 2 and it is steadily improving, there is only going to be a slight impairment.  My damaged kidney has somehow found new life and is responding well to drinking of water and the new medications I have been given.  Maybe by September they will have fixed the kidneys sufficiently to say that the renal disease is in remission.

Now keep in mind that all of this is being accomplished because so many people out there are praying for my recovery, and I know that God is answering those prayers, and I am thankful beyond all understanding for that.  When I came to Florida, I had come home to die, and now it looks like things are finally starting to turn around and I will be granted more time.  I know I can't hope for 10 more years, but 3 to 5 sounds good too me.

Anyhow, sorry I haven't been writing as much, just been in a lot of pain and under the influence of some pretty hefty drugs.  I do plan on getting back to working on my blog daily starting tomorrow.  I hope you all will keep on reading.  You never know what you are going to find here.  I live a very exciting life and I can promise you my days are far from boring.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you.

Uncle B

Some Advice, Freely Given...

Yesterday was an eventful day for me, and one that I would like to share with you in a small way.  I have a bit of advice that I would like to share with you all, maybe some will heed it, others will ignore it, but all in all I think that it is important for me to say something.

I bought a scooter yesterday, it was a 2008 model and had 3,408 miles on it.  I had just paid for the thing and was taking it out for a test run to see how well it worked.  Now, keep in mind that I had asked my dad to go with me, he being an experienced motorcycle rider and I being somewhat new to it.  However, because he was against me buying it in the first place he wouldn't go.  Now, I unfortunately, I have a bad habit of only asking a question 3 times and then I give it up.  I really would have liked my dad to come with me, he could have given the scooter a good look over and helped me get it home from where I bought it.  But since he wouldn't go so I went on my own, the man was very nice and started it up for me, told me what things he had fixed on it and everything.  But I have always been told that you need to drive something when you get it to make sure that it actually works.

Problem is this, since I was a novice it was stupid of me to try.  Second, I wasn't wearing the proper footwear or clothing. So when the unexpected happened I was in no way prepared for it.  As I pulled out of the parking lot, my thought was to just go a quick round the block and back. Then go get my dad and get the thing home.  But here is the thing.  I was going along just fine, turned on the side street off the main road and went down to the place where I could make a left turn so I could head back the way I came.  I was coming from a complete stop turning right and as I started to go I felt a jolt from the back, not being experienced I only grabbed the front brakes and the next thing I know I was laying in a ditch with the scooter on top of my leg.  Now apparently, I had hit the road with my head and shoulder as the bike went sliding across the road dragging me with it.  I found my self in the ditch with major amounts of blood all over me. I didn't think I was seriously injured, was waving my hands flagging down an approaching car. I needed help to get the scooter upright and on it's kick stand because I couldn't get it moving on my own.  I noticed that the fiberglass body and shell were broken keeping it from moving.  Anyhow, a young man on a bike came up while the car and it's passengers were trying to help me.  Within 5 minutes there were a lot of people milling around watching what was going on.  When the cops got there they asked me what had happened, so I told them what I knew which apparently wasn't much.  No one on the scene actually saw what happened and my recollection of the facts seems to have some missing pieces.

It wasn't until the paramedics got me on a backboard and stretcher to take me to the emergency room that I started feeling any pain, disorientation or confusion.  I guess that the adrenalin spike in my blood had kept me from noticing anything.  When the officer's asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital I said no, but again I didn't know how badly I was hurt. It was hot and I wasn't actually thinking I was pretty badly shaken up and I guess upset at myself because I just bought the damn thing and here it was ruined and probably wrecked beyond repair, though I don't know that for sure, and probably won't have any idea till tomorrow seeing as today is a holiday.  As I have said I didn't know how badly I was hurt till I got in the ambulance, and was being whisked away to the hospital.  My pulse was 130 and climbing and my blood pressure was on the high side.  They kept asking if I was on drugs or if I had been drinking etc, but I wasn't thank God.  Now, I am the type of person that takes tragedies and makes light of them.  I joke about the things that are serious to me and could cause emotional pain.  So while I was laughing and joking with the paramedics I heard them talking about the call in report to 911 by a woman in the neighborhood that I was leaving.

Come to find out, the jolt that I felt from the rear was a young girl driving some sort of white car, she approached the stop sign where I was sitting and apparently didn't even try to brake as I was starting to take off.  This would be why as I was turning right me and my scooter were facing the left direction in the ditch, she clipped me so hard it spun me around and tossed me across the road and into the ditch on the opposite side of the road facing the wrong way.  Now had I known any of this I would have told the officers on the scene, but I didn't and none of them came to the hospital to talk with me.  They didn't even get a copy of my license or anything.  So at this point I have a wrecked scooter, I am strapped to a backboard with a neck brace on.  You can imagine how uncomfortable that was, now lets not forget that I have 55 staples down my abdomen from recent surgery on June 18th.  Well all said and done I have 6 mores staples added to my scalp, and had 2 lacerations on my face that were sealed up using dermabond.  My knee and shoulder and part of my back are pretty scraped up and my ankle and foot look like hamburger. Please try to remember that I was up and walking around on the scene of the accident had the guy on the bike help me get the scooter standing upright, and had been helped out of the ditch and was walking to the side of the road when the officers and paramedics arrived.  What you haven't found out is that because of the adrenalin in my system I had no idea of how badly I was hurt like I kept telling you.  When the doctor finally came in and examined me he touched my left ankle, just barely and the pain flared so intense I thought I was going to pass out and the room started spinning. Yep that is right my ankle is also broken.

So what is the morale of the story? What is the advice I want to give?  Well here it is.  If you are a novice or new to something don't do try it on your own, make sure that someone is with you and if you get into trouble can help you.  Second, put in your wallet an emergency contact phone number, reason for this is I was at the hospital for 6 hours and my cell phone was back in my truck at the scooter place and I had no idea what anyone's number was.  I didn't know how to get in touch with my dad or mom or anyone else.  Thank goodness that my father has also been a patient at the hospital and they were able to look up his account information and call him for me. Otherwise, I would still be sitting there waiting for someone to come and get me, because the hospital wasn't going to let me go out on my own.  More advice too you, if you are trying something new make sure that you are dressed appropriately and wearing the proper shoes.  I should never have gotten on the scooter wearing flip flops and had I been wearing proper clothing and shoes the extent of my injuries would have been a lot less.  Another thing, if riding a motorcycle or scooter and you are like me a novice at it, take the precaution of wearing a helmet. Had I been wearing a helmet yesterday I wouldn't have hit my head so hard that I had to have the staples on my scalp, and wouldn't have the lacerations where my sun glasses arm broke off and cut my eyebrow from one end to the other, and the abrasions and contusions on my face wouldn't have happened either.

There is no harm in taking the right precautions and doing things the right way, and if you don't know what you are doing take the time to stop and ask someone.  Don't end up like now owning a piece of busted up junk and having to deal with the pain of a broken ankle and then trying to figure out if I am going to try and keep the scooter and have it repaired or take the loss and right off the money I paid for it because they are never going to find the girl that hit me and since I didn't have any motorcycle insurance because I just purchased the vehicle it is my total loss and responsibility.  However, circumstances would be different if the other party comes forward and admits what happened, then I could get a claim against their insurance.

Heed my words, take things slowly and if you aren't sure about something don't do it, and if someone is being stubborn and obtuse because they don't necessarily like your decision let them know the extent of your discontent with them.  Which is what I should have done with my father.  I am an adult and I needed his help and expertise but he wanted to act like a child and punish me and here I am hurt and angry and out quite a bit of money.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Reflections on Happiness

I have been thinking a great deal about happiness lately.  We are raised in our society to go out and pursue happiness.  We set expectations and goals thinking that these are going to bring us happiness.  Some people struggle to find happiness in their work, others in their possessions, some in their children, home, car, etc.

What I have realized after this last meeting with my own mortality is that happiness is not some external force or item.  It isn't attained by reaching a goal or landing that fabulous job we have always wanted.  Happiness is a state of being.

Happiness comes from with in ourselves, it is the joy of helping others, it is becoming comfortable with who you are.  But lets go a little further.  Happiness is the key ingredient needed to become truly prosperous.  Now by prosperity, I am not talking just financial wealth, I am talking about a truly happy and prosperous person.

Happiness comes from an inner harmony of your mind and your heart. Happiness is becoming self aware, content and happy with where you are at in your life.  Happiness is understanding that everyday is a blessing and we need to be thankful for the things that we have in our lives and what we have achieved to that point.

Now Prosperity builds on this: you see a truly prosperous person has become content and accepting of who and what they have at every given moment of their life.  It doesn't mean that they don't have any goals or aspirations, it means that they have accepted themselves for who they are, they acknowledge their limitations and shortcomings, regroup and stay focused on their next endeavor.  Being happy is a state of consciousness that allows positive energy to flow around you and through you.  It enables you to draw more positive energy into your life.  Prosperity utilizes that energy and allows you to be open and receptive to your blessings.

Now that I have brought up the subject of positive energy, I would like to explain it to you in as simple a way as I can. Spiritual energy or energy of the soul or ethereal energy is an energy force that is around us all throughout nature.  Now this energy field (which auras and the current that flows through our human body) acts and reacts differently than the electrical energy or current of the physical or real universe ie: our conscious reality of daily life.  You have to understand that in our physical world that is governed by science and the natural laws of physics opposite energies attract one another.  An example of this can be conducted by a simple experiment using two magnets.  If you remember from physics class each magnet has two poles a positive and a negative pole.  Now, if you place the two magnets with poles facing each other the positive pole to positive pole the magnet is pushed away from each other..The opposite is also true that the negative sides will also repel each other.  The magnets when put in close proximity with the opposite poles facing each other will be pulled together.  This is commonly referred to as the law of attraction.

Using that knowledge as a basis, you will begin to understand that spiritual energy or ethereal energy operates in a totally opposite fashion.  Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative.  The more positive energy we send out into the world the more positive we receive back.  So you may be asking yourself at this point what has all of this to do with being happy.  This is the basis of becoming aware of yourself and the energy around you.  You will be more receptive through prayer, meditation, or positive visualization, these harmonize the mind, body and soul, into a higher state of consciousness and open us up for our desires to be manifested from our mind into the spiritual world, which in turn manifests them in the physical world.  So yes, you can make yourself well, you can achieve anything that you truly set your mind upon.

However, happiness is a man made vice that if you go off to seek it you will never find it. You must reach within yourself and see what you have accomplished, who you have helped and touched and be comfortable with where you are at each stage your life.  You must know that the road is long and when you hit a road bump or a fork in the road, that it is just that it is a thing to overcome or a place to make a choice, but if you are content and comfortable with yourself you will have happiness throughout your journey.  You don't know the future or what it holds, but you do know where you were, where you have come from and you know how you have grown, rejoice and enjoy see the happiness and seize it.  Because the next phase is going to be so much easier once you have done it.

Have you ever come to a place where all the doors are closed?  Have you stopped and wondered why?  Think about this...maybe all the doors are closed so when you open one it will lead you to the right road you need to be upon.

Thanks for reading this and staying with me this far...let me know what you think....I will write some more of my reflections hopefully they will be able to uplift and help someone.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B