Sunday, October 14, 2012

Wasn't going to write today....But!

Since I started off this adventure on Friday and have kept you informed about things every step of the way, I figured you might as well know how it all turned out.  I slept in the apartment for the first time last night.  At first I had a little trouble falling asleep. Maybe it had a little to do with the air mattress and the fact that I had acid indigestion, but anyhow fell asleep around midnight only too wake up around 2:15 in the morning.  Couldn't fall right back to sleep so decided to go out on the front balcony and have a smoke.  As I was coming out of my apartment so was my next door neighbor.  He was coming out to smoke too so we sat together and talked.  Glad I went out there at that time, he is a really nice young guy full of energy and hope for the future.  Of course I ran into him several times today as I was running errands and things, and it is great to have someone close to my age that is cool to talk too.

I woke up around 9 am this morning and was trying to toast myself a bagel in the oven.  For those of you who haven't experienced that don't do it. Come to find out that it is really easy to burn the thing if you aren't extremely careful.  Hahaha...anyhow, ate my breakfast and the next thing I know my dad is pulling into the driveway with his truck loaded down.  I mean everything that I had left behind at the house except my crutches and my cane which I don't need at the moment.  I will need the cane after the next operation at least for twelve to eighteen weeks. I honestly hate having my abdomen opened up...takes so long to recover...but oh well life goes on.  Anyhow my father also brought me a number of other things that will make life a lot easier.  He brought me a dresser, a TV table and a huge chest that I can store stuff in, however, at the moment it has this huge old TV that he brought me.  Unfortunately he accidentally ripped off the cable connector from the back so the only thing I can do at the moment is play dvd's on it. But we will see, I was planning on buying a new TV anyway. You know me I am a technology whore and have to have the latest and greatest so I am probably going to end up with one of them smart TV's.

I was worrying about money and how I was going to stretch what little I have left to cover everything I need to pay and still have groceries, and get to Orlando and all of that stuff.  I told you all about that last night, well you know dad agreed to lend me a $150.00 to cover my bills till I get paid, but you know what I have all that money from the hotel coming back that I forgot about so, even after I went out today and bought the pots and pans that I wanted.  Groceries and instead of the dish set settled on paper plates and plastic wear for the time being. I only have to make it till Thursday and then I can go out and buy the dishes I want and the silverware, and get a microwave oven and all the other things that I want.  See I am okay roughing it for a little while, it is just me and I don't have to impress anyone right now.  Like I told you on Friday evening sometimes taking things slowly and working them out has a way of getting us exactly what we want.  So I am good.

With all of that being said I was talking to my friend in Ft. Lauderdale this afternoon and was telling him that I have been thinking about this living room set that I saw at Big Lots that I really liked, and that come Thursday I would have the money get it.  Then it dawned on me that already I am jumping the gun and that I need to reevaluate my priorities. See, there are things that I need to consider and take care of first before I run out and spend that money I have coming in foolishly.  See, maybe I should keep going slowly, and shop around, look at things and make sure that I take care of business first.  I should put some of the cash away that I will have from my paycheck towards, giving this man his deposit for living here.  I know he said that we would break it down over 3 months, but let's get a head start on that by putting a little towards it now, then there is my car which needs an oil change, it needs to have some fuses fixed and the back window is off track and needs to be fixed so I need to invest some funds that way.  Listen taking care of priorities and necessary items first is a good way to ensure that you don't get screwed.  Trust me if my car breaks down, how will I get to work. So she needs to be taken care of.  I also need to put some money into place and get the electric turned over into my name asap. That way all the trust Aaron has put in me isn't wasted. I want to look good in his eyes, and I don't want him to think I am taking advantage of his kindness or that he might have made the wrong choice in letting me have the place.

I have learned over time that if you have a good landlord, stay on his good side, because if needed he will be there to help you out, or be a little more understanding if something unexpected arises.  Further, if you want to stay within budget and make ends meet you have to keep your priority items in focus, it is often easy to lose focus of them and overspend and then when that happens it becomes nearly impossible to catch back up once you fall behind.

Keep in mind when you embark on a new journey or the next phase of your life, you want to reassess and evaluate not only your goals, but your priorities as well. This is important, because you want to keep on top of your bills, and budget yourself accordingly so you don't overspend.  Make sure that the necessity items are always paid first, or plan them out so that they are lined up and ready to go as the funds come available. Remember must haves, come first then luxury items.  If you stay focused on that you will be okay, no matter what kind of adventure you are on.  As I said I need to make sure that I keep the maintenance up on the car.  I am not at home anymore, and I can't rely on dad or step-mom to take me where I need to go unless I make proper arrangements.  No more spur of the moment things.

You know I set a lot of this in motion because my boyfriend has been pushing me to get out and get us a place, how ironic that I have made the moves that he wanted me too and I have no way of letting him know. I hope that he has been reading my blog, he used to read it daily, but something happened back in September and he fell behind in reading it.  Now, understand that I am not the only one he isn't talking to. He isn't talking to anyone, including his family at the moment.  So I honestly know that he isn't angry or upset with me this is just a phase that he is going through.  I did leave him a voice mail tonight telling him I was having my first cooked meal at the apartment, that it was Steak, cheddar and broccoli rice with lima beans, and that I wished he was here in our new home with me.  Yes, I did say our new home, because if it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't have made as much of an effort to get a nice place like this.  Because I could have stayed in a little motel with just a bed and tv and been just fine.  But, I wanted something nice for us to call home. A place that is close to the beach and the river and not far from all the entertainment stuff.  I want him to have a great experience with Florida, he has never really been here.  I did say in the voice mail that I was concerned and that I wanted to know if he still wanted to be with me and that I loved him.  Even now after all this time I have insecurities, mainly about myself, not about the relationship, I think he understands that more than anyone.  Plus our anniversary is coming up, at Thanksgiving it will be 5 years...I just wish he was here with me.

So what do I want you to learn from everything I have written here, because believe it or not there are a few things I need you to take away with you.  First off, understand that somethings happen to us that are beyond our control, but it is how we handle them that helps us grow and mature.  Second, I refer you back to the blog entry I wrote the other day about realignment, readjusting, reevaluating and moving on.  Remember this when you reevaluate your goals and dreams you must also reevaluate your priorities.  You must realign them and structure them in order of importance, and by that I mean you need to keep in focus the necessity items and put them first then worry about the want to have items.  Finally, no matter what you do and how your are feeling if you are acting out of love know in your heart that love is going to be felt and seen by others, it will be noticed eventually by the person it was meant too. Keep the faith and know in your heart that I am telling you the sincere truth.  They will see the effort that you have put forth for them and it will be rewarded. Finally, if I have learned anything during this move is this "Keep your eyes and heart on God" He will provide and He will bless you for the work and effort you have put forth.  He rewards those that help themselves and takes care of us when we fall short.  Miracles and Wonders do exist my friends, by keeping faith and stepping out, taking that chance you will see how many blessing will flow your way.  Keep your head up.

As always I am here if you ever need to talk, or just want to say Hi.  Feel free to drop me a line anytime. You can send me an email to bryanzepp@gmail.com or you can find me on Facbook bryan.zepp2 or on twitter @bryanzepp.  I would love to hear from you, receive your feedback and your thoughts.  You can also join my blogger site if you want. I encourage you to keep reading and keep the faith.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B