Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What two things can keep you from succeeding at your goals and dreams?

Now I know that you know that there are more things that can keep you from succeeding. But the main two that I think of that can kill them before you even start are Fear and Jealousy.  Fear alone can hold you back, limit your reasoning to take risks that may be necessary to even start.  Fear can keep you from trying something new and exploring every opportunity and avenue that is presented to you.  It can also lock you in place because it causes you to doubt your own abilities.  Jealousy, whether yours aimed at others or their's aimed at you is the second thing.

Jealousy of others will keep you from focusing on yourself, your abilities and the opportunities that may be there for you because you continually compare where others are at and where you want to be.  You become so absorbed in their achievements and let everything in your own life slide.  Whereas the jealousy of others aimed at you can come in many forms.  They constantly put your down, nitpick your efforts or there is the discord and dissent that they sow around you.  It seems like a constant storm of drama that surrounds you.  Your temper flairs and all of your emotions seem to be on edge.  Your entire energy field is going to be totally out of whack.  It might even begin to seem that for each step forward you end up taking five steps further back, and when someone has it in for you it may seem like you never get a break.

There are ways to deal with these things and get your life back into alignment. So, with that being said, let's tackle these head on and see how we can handle them.  The first we discussed was fear.  As they say fear is really the the enemy itself.  You must face them head on. Confront them, stare them down! You may be wondering how you can do that? Easy!! Just put one foot in front of the other and keep going! Don't give up! Because the ally of fear is surrender, to give in to the hopelessness and depression that surrounds your insecurities.  Believe it or not the key to understanding fear is a greater understanding of yourself.  Fear is fueled by your insecurities and emotions of helplessness and despair.  Take heart in your abilities, do the best you can in every situation, approach new task with the understanding that something new and wonderful is waiting for you. Look at the new challenge not as a daunting insurmountable task but as a new learning experience as an opportunity for growth and understanding.  Before you know it, you will have mastered whatever it is and the fear that held you prisoner will be gone forever.

Next let's look at jealousy in it's various forms.  The first is so easy to conquer that you are going to wonder why it took you so long to figure it out.  But trust and believe once you have mastered it, jealously will never be a problem for you ever again.  The very first thing you have to realize is that not everything is as easy as it looks.  Just because when someone does something and makes it look easy, doesn't necessarily mean that it is.  Further, just because you think the perfect opportunity just fell in their lap, doesn't mean that it actually did.  This is probably just your perception of the fact, you can tell that it is jealousy because you find yourself wondering constantly how that opportunity fell into their lap and you continue to struggle just to make ends meet.  Keep in mind that the old saying the "Grass is greener on the other side", we all know that isn't true.  First off, if something looks easy for someone  maybe it is because they have different skills and experiences that prepared them for it.  Maybe, just maybe you didn't see all the hard work that they put into it. You didn't see their sweat or tears you just caught the end result. Keep in mind that each of us is different, our experiences are all different and so is our skill set.  When you finally take your eyes off of what you wish you had and where you hoped to be and focus on the things you have and where you are at.

You might just find you aren't in such a bad place.  As a matter of fact if you really look hard enough you are going to realize that you are exactly where you need to be!  I know you have heard me say it before, but let me repeat myself here.  In order for you to truly be prosperous, you must be content with what you have and be happy with where you are at in each stage of your life.  Look inside yourself, give yourself praise and credit for the accomplishments and achievements you have made.  Turn your focus from the outer to the inner and find your peace.  Not only will this eliminate the jealousy you feel for others, it will stop you from feeling like you aren't where you should be. It will also go a long way at defeating your fears.

The second form of jealousy that I talked about, we will just classify them as "Haters".  These are those that are jealous of you. A friend of mine shared a picture with me on Facebook today that summed up this perfectly.  It said "Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves because you're a reflection of what they wish to be." They see all of your strengths and accomplishments and it sharpens their realization and attention on their own weaknesses and faults.  The best thing to do with these types of people are to keep them at arms length or cut them from your life totally.  Sooner or later you are going to realize that they really aren't your friend at all.  A friend would want you to succeed and be successful, they build you up and don't tear you down.  Anyone that is not building up your confidence and self-esteem or helping you reach the next level in your life really isn't your friend. They are what I call "Frienemies".

For more on what a "Frienemy" is check out my blog entry

I would appreciate your comments and feedback on this and any other blog entries.  You can contact me directly at or via Facebook or find me on Google +.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B