Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Does Music Speak to You?

At times in your life does an artist or album reach out and grab you?  Does the music speak to you in away that most of the songs on the album seem directed toward you or the situation that you are going through?  Maybe I am just peculiar, but it seems that at every period of my life where there has been great change that there has been an artist and a particular album that they have released that has reached out and spoken directly to me.  Every song on the album touches me and describes what I am feeling and going through at the time.

I have been asked over and over again how do I maintain such a positive attitude when I am going through so much, and I honestly think that the music that touches me helps me through these crisis times.  These songs describe the whole situation that I am going through and the people around me.  Then it is up to me, to take and process the songs and through inner reflection evaluate my situation and decide what I need to do to make a change.  I am thankful for these artists that influence my life and give me their words of advice that speaks to me through their songs.

Having been a music writer in a previous incarnation of my life, I understand that most of these artists are writing from personal experiences and that is why the music is infused with so much energy and intensity.  But what amazes me is that these artists have gone through or are going through something in their life that is so similar to what I am going through at the time that their music reaches out to me and grabs me.

I would like to give you some examples:  I used to live in Atlanta, and I was with a person there for a long long time. We had 2 houses together, several companies, two dogs, two cars, a cat and a lot of mutual friends.  Now, not trying to sound like I am pointing the finger at anyone but when the relationship ended it got into a very dirty state, both of us were trying to outdo the other and I believe we were trying to see how badly we could hurt one another. Now, that is not a healthy place to be, and a lot of damage was done and probably can never be healed properly.  This is a very sad event to have happened because the other person was very caring and loving and didn't deserve any of this. However, like I said I am not placing blame here we were both at fault. However, while I was going through this situation, I was constantly seeking refuge in Hilary Duff's Dignity Album.  Every single song on that album described the way I was feeling starting with the very first song on the album entitled "Stranger".  The song actually talks about how she was living with a stranger and that when they were alone that she couldn't recognize him anymore and that there was no love left in his eyes.  From that album I was able to process and address through the lyrics and singing of these songs the anger, hurt, disappointment and all the other emotions that go with ending of love and a relationship.

Another example would be Katy Perry's Teenage Dream album.  I am actually listening to it now as I write this entry. This album has so many songs that are speaking to me and helping me deal with my current situation.  What a lot of you do not know is that I have been diagnosed with a whole host of medical problems and that is on top of having my life fall out from under me when I was in Atlanta last year.  I got sick again in October of 2011, had kidney stones, found out that I had end stage reneal failure and then on top of that I was evicted from my apartment and I lost everything I owned, I had two dogs that were taken from me and put to sleep, and my car was stolen, I ended up on the street and heavy into drugs till February.  Now I have come home, I am rebuilding my life and getting my feet back under me. This album has given me the strength to move forward, to accept the fact that once again I am starting over.  Songs like Katy Perry's
"Who am I living for?" give me the strength to know that I am marching down the right path that I was meant too.  I know that if I wouldn't have taken the steps and made the decisions that I have had made during the winter in Atlanta I would be dead right now.  But I am here and I am okay and I am writing to you.  Hoping to share just a few of the little things that I have picked up as I have made this long journey.

There are so many songs that touch me, there are some that help me through little dilemmas, like "Circle the Drain" which talks about drug abuse and use.  How people make excuses and how people who care about us get hurt trying to save us from them. I am again thankful that these songs are out there and help me to deal with my issues.  I have passed on the lyrics of "Circle the Drain" to my ex because he is still struggling with his addiction, these words are how I feel.  I don't want to watch him circle the drain.  "I want to be his lover, but I don't have the power to rewrite his addiction" only he can change and defeat the monkey that is on his back.

But how do these songs help me you might wonder?  I will tell you that something inside of me identifies with a particular song, and the artist and before I know it I am researching the lyrics to the song and memorizing them.  Once I read the words and I sit back I begin to see the correlation between what the artist is sending out and what has been going on in my life. What I can tell you is that I amazed as the lyrics and the beat perfectly resonate within me.  I begin looking back at myself, my decisions and then it all seems to click inside of me.  I am not sure if everyone is like me.  But music, prayer, meditation, and writing are my key to keeping and maintaining a positive outlook and motivation in my life.  With having 6 terminal illnesses and doctors constantly telling me that the future doesn't seem to bright and that there might not be a lot of time left for me to wrap up my business, it would be rather easy for me to fall into a state of depression and fill my days with crying and self-pity.  But you see that would not get me anywhere and I would waste what time I have left and I am not ready for that.  Maybe there will come a time for me to wallow in self-pity and despair but I don't believe it will be anytime soon.

What I would like to leave you with is the song that I am listening to now.  It is Katy Perry's Firework...this is what I hope and pray each and everyone of you realize.  This is a song of hope and rebirth, it talks about inner strength, it talks about having faith and knowing that you can start over, you are not a failure and that you have inner worth and outer worth as well.  I hope this song touches you as much as it touched me.

Firework by Katy Perry

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
But no one seems to hear a thing?

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling down down down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed 
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
And it's always been inside of you, you, you 
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby your a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go " oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the Sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em in awe awe awe "

Please listen to the song and read over the lyrics and let me know what you think.  I value your opinion and want to hear your feedback. Tell me your story and if this song fits you. If you don't have the song or cannot find it get at me and I will send it to you or post it where you can listen to it.

All my hopes,

Uncle B