Monday, May 21, 2012

What would you do?

I went to the doctors today and I got a second opinion on the surgery that is coming up.  Now, what I would like to ask is your opinion on things, so let me get the background to what is going on so that you can help know exactly what I am facing and how you might answer the question I asked.

My kidney'/s are failing and so is my liver, and unless something drastic is done I might die. I have been given two alternative solutions to the problem.  The first involves surgery where the doctors are talking about trying to reverse both the colostomy and ileostomy that I have in place currently, now these things help me go to the bathroom and are supposed to make my life easier and close to normal as possible.  Unfortunately, by bypassing my large intestines allows a lot of impurities to flow directly to the kidneys and liver, and with them impaired my body is unable to cleanse the blood from the toxins and they are building up.  The idea here is to put me back together and the colon would be able to drain off some of the impurities and would take off the pressure from my kidneys and liver.  The problem with this option is that I found out on March 5, 2012 that my colon is very fragile, on March 5 they tried to perform a colonoscopy which is using a scope to find out why I was bleeding anally before they could insert the scope they have to push air into the colon to expand the walls so that scope can go in without damaging the tissue.  Unfortunately, the air they inserted into the colon blasted into the colon and found the weakened areas so that it could escape, thus rupturing my colon in 2 places.  7 hours of emergency surgery and they were able to fix me.  Now, this brings me to the current problem.  If they attempt to reconnect me and the colon doesn't hold then I will rupture and fecal matter will pour into my blood system and I will poison myself.  This is called poisoning by toxicplasmosis and it is extremely painful and most times in extreme cases it is fatal.  My fear is justified because air ripped me apart, what is going to happen when waste starts to go through, waste being more dense then air, I think it highly likely that the tissue will not hold and the above scenario will be the end result and I could die a lot faster than originally planned.

The second option that I have been given is extreme dialysis, meaning that I would have to undergo dialysis a minimum of 3 times a week.  This would would cause my immune system to crash, and even though we have finally begun to get my HIV back under control, I will still be opened up to opportunistic infections and illnesses that a normal person wouldn't expect to have in their lifetime.   Dialysis will not cure me of my problems it will just prolong my life.  I have tried dialysis once and it is very taxing on the body, leaves you week for the rest of the day on which it was performed and you feel better for the next but the day after you have to continue the treatment, and it becomes a never ending loop.  Eventually your body will weaken and your bodies natural resistance will also plummet.  There is no easy solution to this problem that I am facing and it doesn't look like either option gives me much time.  I do understand that by choosing the dialysis I can expect to gain approximately 2 additional years to my life. Keep that in mind.

When I spoke to the doctor this morning she recommended that I allow them to operate and essentially remove on of the ostomies I presently have as long as they can fix either one so that there isn't so much damage to my skin and would make it easier to care for.  Then take the dialysis option.  She explained that even if they could reconnect me and the colon holds, the problems would be that I would still have the issue of a damaged sphincter muscle which would make me incontinent and I would still have to endure physical limitations.  We do know that the motility of the colon has finally returned but the damage from the radiation and with the impairment of the kidneys and liver just seem to make this situation almost unbearable, and in my eyes totally frightening.

At this point I am not sure what road to take and I would appreciate any advice or comments that you care to offer.  Because I am not used to dealing with doom and gloom scenario's, I am not the one to throw in the towel, to give up and go quietly into the night.  There definitely has to be another solution out there that I haven't yet discovered, or maybe just maybe I am putting to much stock into the misgivings of the doctors.  Please drop me a line and let me know what you think.  I really value your opinion and I am looking forward to hear what you have to say.  Some of you might have something to say that tell would give me hope and opens me up to a whole new future.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you.  Please make sure that you follow my blog and join my community of readers.  I really do value your opinion and I would love to hear from you.

Uncle B