I am sure that you have heard somewhere before in your life that everyone has an opinion and they are entitled to it. I have been following a lively debate on Google + over Chick-fil-A, and trust me my opinion hasn't changed at all. It is alright to agree to disagree with someone over their differing opinion. Who is to say that you are right or they are wrong or vice-versa. See, in this country everyone has a right to say what their opinion is, regardless of who it hurts or is insulted by it. But that is okay because you have the right to voice your objections just as strongly. Where the problem comes in if one person is so opinionated that they try to force their beliefs on everyone around them.
It is true that everyone has an opinion, it is further true that sometimes those opinions should be unspoken to the general public, but hey who am I too say? Sometimes a remark can come off as derogatory or even inflammatory, so be careful how you state your case. I am not saying that you should hold in your opinion, unless of course it will get you killed. Like telling the gunman that he is a bully and you aren't going to give him your money. I don't think anyone would do that anyway. I am just recommending that if you have something negative to say couch it in a way where people aren't necessarily going to be offended by it.
One of my defense mechanisms is that I make jokes about people when they do something that bothers me. Most of the time the person I am directing it at has no clue that I am annoyed, and it takes them awhile to figure out that the joke was meant to get them to stop whatever it is. People that have known me for years can tell right off when it is getting bad, and usually try to warn the person off. Because if they don't get it the first or second time, shame on them because when I get to the point I can't stand it anymore I go off like a cannon and I usually tear them apart. Verbally that is, in the gay world they call it reading someone.
Anyhow, there are some people that disagree with some of the things that I write, and that is okay because I expect them too. The purpose of me writing these things is to stir up conversation and to get people to think about the things that are going on around them. I don't care if people see it my way or not. Because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters to me is my own. So yes, I have perfected the right to agree to disagree, because I think it is healthy to talk about things and discuss them, because maybe in the long run both of us are wrong, but unless we explore and talk about it how will we ever know.
So the next time someone says something that catches you off guard, and makes you immediately think "No you are wrong about this", stop a minute don't say anything, listen to their opinion and in a kind manner explain your position. Again, the point is this will save you from an argument, which trust me most of the time they are pointless. Arguments are hard to win because it is almost impossible to persuade someone that what they think is wrong. I am just saying. I have been there and I am one that likes to argue just for arguments sake really. I don't care if I am right or wrong, with some people I automatically take the opposite side, just because I can. There are times when I like to play devil's advocate and chose to word my opinion differently than someone else's and if they aren't quick enough they start to argue, and all I have done is repeat what they have said back to them slightly different, and guess what, an argument breaks out. Until I point out that I agree with them and just had been twisting it around so they couldn't understand it. I know that is mean but it can be a lot of fun.
Anyhow, the point I am trying to make is this, your opinion is neither right nor wrong, it is just your interpretation of something is. Another person's opinion is also neither right or wrong, it is just how they see something. Take the time to fully listen to the other person, don't interrupt or cut them off (because you know that is so annoying to have someone start talking right over what you are saying). Of course I have been known to do that to others, so I cannot condemn anyone for it, just saying it is annoying. Anyhow, if you can come to a point in a discussion to say I agree to disagree with you and leave it at that, neither side gets their feelings truly hurt and an argument may be avoided. Unless you are hanging out with me and I don't let it go...LOL...Just kidding. Anyhow, point is take everything you hear with a grain of salt, and keep what is pertinent and push the other stuff aside, life is too short, to fight over whether you were right or they were.
Anyhow, that is all I really have to say on the subject is that if you really care about people and the person who is talking to you, give them the courtesy of listen to them totally out, and if you want give your own impression, but if you disagree with their position, maybe the better part of valor is to just let it go and chalk it up to the game of life and move on. As I said life is too short and the precious moments we have don't need to be shared in arguments. I would say keep your opinion to yourselves, but that would be falling on deaf ears, especially since I cannot seem to do. But be respectful of another's opinion and give them benefit of the doubt and then just let it go. What can it hurt? right?
Anyhow, this week has been tough been job hunting and trying to update my blog and write entries and then squeeze in doctors on top of all of it. So, just remember your opinion is as right and true as anyone else's and if you want to share them you can, but when someone disagrees, be ready to agree to disagree and let it be.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Stop being so hard on yourself, the bruises aren't pretty!
I am not sure how I want to put this, but lately I have been thinking about how hard we are on ourselves. We judge ourselves to a different standard than we hold other's too. Why is that? Do we think we are better than others? Or do we just like beating ourselves up? Do we let other people slide because we think they are incapable of doing a job better than us? Honestly, I think it is more out of insecurity and frustration that we continue to beat ourselves up. We take it to heart when we don't live up to our own expectations and we rush to judgement on ourselves and consider setbacks as failures. We all do! You know you do, don't you? You are your own worse critic, you don't like anything you do, and you constantly think that you could have done it better if you would have just tried harder, or whatever excuse it is that you tell yourself.
The problem is we are harsh with ourselves and we are awful quick to jump to the conclusion that we have failed at whatever task it is that didn't live up to our expectations. The problem with doing this is your are constantly focusing on the negative, you are painting yourself into thinking you are a failure, you are belittling yourself and undermining your own self-esteem and worth. If you are constantly doing that to yourself, and you second guess every task you undertake, what do you think others around you are going to think? Before long everyone around you starts to see you as you do, and it becomes a cycle of abuse and cruelty. I know that there are some of you out there that think everything must be done perfectly, that if you are off just a smidgen, then your whole project is a ruin and a failure. Let me fill you in on something, do you know that perfectionism is just a form of procrastination? It really is folks, and guess what, you give a task to a perfectionist and it will never be completed, unless you step in and force them to end their work, because to them, it will never be perfect and therefore it cannot be completed.
I know it is easy to look at yourself and wonder why you aren't further ahead in life, and how you can beat yourself up over little things that shouldn't bother you. I can also understand why you feel that everything you do ends up wrong. You have have set yourself up into a pattern of abuse that you need to break out of. It might be something that you have been carrying around for years, it has become so ingrained in your daily life you don't even recognize it anymore. Or someone in your life has criticized everything you have done and told you that you did it wrong, or you could have done it faster or better this way, or they go out of their way to make you feel bad just about everything that you do. If any of this is true for you then you need to keep reading, because it isn't true that you are stupid, or dumb, or an idiot, what it means is that you have done something a different way than that other person, and they don't like it. They want to control you and manipulate you and they found that they can do that by using guilt or criticism to wound you. See, there are those out there that cannot stand to see another person succeed they are so arrogant and set in their ways that they cannot accept that someone could possibly come along and do something any way that is different from their way. But as I told you the other day there is no wrong or right way to handle a problem or situation, it is just a matter of perspective and working out the details and coming up with a workable solution.
People that want to control you or manipulate you prey on your fears and weaknesses, they spite you and laugh at you when they are secretly envious, they want to hold you back and make you feel inferior to them because it gives them a rush and makes you feel like you are a failure. These are the people that you have to cut from your life, they are truly undermining your self-esteem and worth, they aren't doing anything for you and keeping you from realizing your own true potential. How can you honestly feel good about your accomplishments or even have a sense of fulfillment in a completed job if everyone around you is telling you that you are no good and nothing you ever do is right. Don't let yourself be caught up in this trap. Because once you have fallen into it, it becomes so easy to stay there. I can honestly tell you, that you may have already fallen into the trap in your youth or childhood and that is why you berate and belittle yourself now. So if you are following me so far, you can see that there are two ways in which you fall into this pattern of behavior, the first is that you are always so hard on yourself that everyone around you begins to judge and see you as you do. Or you have people that have torn apart your self-esteem and question how you do everything. In both cases the end result is the same, you find yourself always feeling that your best is never good enough and that everything you do fall short of your expectations.
But going back to my original question why are we so hard on ourselves? The reason is because we have no confidence in the decisions we make or the actions we do. So my advice to you is to start to do things for yourself, prove to yourself that you can do anything you set your mind too. That you don't need anyone else's approval or appreciation. A line from one of my favorite movies is " I have taught myself how to cook, clean, sew, fix a pipe, and pat myself on the back, just so I don't have to ask you to do it". This should be your motto too. I want you to remember you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. You are your own person, and let's face it you came into the world naked and alone, and we all leave exactly the same way, naked and alone. So to look for someone else's approval or opinion of what we do is really not worth it at all.
I want you to take pride in all that you do, even if it isn't perfect. You know why because nothing ever is perfect, if it was we would have nothing to worry about or stress over. I also want you to look closely in the mirror and tell yourself you have come this far all on your own, you can succeed because you don't need anyone. When you try to please everyone at the same time you end up making some of them happy, but not all, the only person you are guaranteed to make happy all the time is yourself, but that is if you do for yourself and don't care what anyone else around you thinks. I have told you before when you let someone else dictate how you feel or makes you feel guilty in some way then you have given them way too much power over you, and you need to take that power back. Further, when you feel like berating yourself or getting mad because something didn't go exactly as planned, you need to really look at it and give yourself credit for accomplishing the task at all.
You must respect and love yourself and accept that you are not perfect, none of us are, so why do you expect everything you do to be perfect? Now I ask you to cut yourself some slack just like you would someone else, because you are just like them. Put forth your best effort and be content with the result, build up your confidence and self-esteem and you will see that life starts getting a bit easier for you and your stress level will drop lower. You will start to feel good about yourself and the negative that you have been holding will be released and as that happens it will be replaced with the positive. Once the positive starts flowing in your life and mind the more will be attracted too it. Have faith in your abilities and know that you have given your best. Let go of the small things and cling to what you have done and you will be so much happier in your life.
Stop beating yourself up, stop belittling yourself and give yourself the respect and praise that you deserve, and I promise you those around you will start to do the same, and if they don't let them go and move on, because you and only you have your best interest at heart.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
But going back to my original question why are we so hard on ourselves? The reason is because we have no confidence in the decisions we make or the actions we do. So my advice to you is to start to do things for yourself, prove to yourself that you can do anything you set your mind too. That you don't need anyone else's approval or appreciation. A line from one of my favorite movies is " I have taught myself how to cook, clean, sew, fix a pipe, and pat myself on the back, just so I don't have to ask you to do it". This should be your motto too. I want you to remember you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. You are your own person, and let's face it you came into the world naked and alone, and we all leave exactly the same way, naked and alone. So to look for someone else's approval or opinion of what we do is really not worth it at all.
I want you to take pride in all that you do, even if it isn't perfect. You know why because nothing ever is perfect, if it was we would have nothing to worry about or stress over. I also want you to look closely in the mirror and tell yourself you have come this far all on your own, you can succeed because you don't need anyone. When you try to please everyone at the same time you end up making some of them happy, but not all, the only person you are guaranteed to make happy all the time is yourself, but that is if you do for yourself and don't care what anyone else around you thinks. I have told you before when you let someone else dictate how you feel or makes you feel guilty in some way then you have given them way too much power over you, and you need to take that power back. Further, when you feel like berating yourself or getting mad because something didn't go exactly as planned, you need to really look at it and give yourself credit for accomplishing the task at all.
You must respect and love yourself and accept that you are not perfect, none of us are, so why do you expect everything you do to be perfect? Now I ask you to cut yourself some slack just like you would someone else, because you are just like them. Put forth your best effort and be content with the result, build up your confidence and self-esteem and you will see that life starts getting a bit easier for you and your stress level will drop lower. You will start to feel good about yourself and the negative that you have been holding will be released and as that happens it will be replaced with the positive. Once the positive starts flowing in your life and mind the more will be attracted too it. Have faith in your abilities and know that you have given your best. Let go of the small things and cling to what you have done and you will be so much happier in your life.
Stop beating yourself up, stop belittling yourself and give yourself the respect and praise that you deserve, and I promise you those around you will start to do the same, and if they don't let them go and move on, because you and only you have your best interest at heart.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Please keep in mind, you are very special
Last night a friend of mine posted on Facebook would anyone care if he just checked out of life and disappeared never to be heard from again. This hit me pretty hard, because as you know I have been through so many things and I have at one time or another gotten to the point where I had wanted to throw in the towel. I know exactly how he was feeling, been there, done that and wear the t-shirt to prove it. You may not realize how your loss might affect those around you, those that know you and care about you. Sometimes people look at you and are inspired to try harder for themselves because they look at you and see a person who works hard and is successful. Because to one person you might be even if you don't think so yourself.
I know how easy it is to look at your life and weigh it against your dreams and feel that you have fallen short. How you can look in the mirror and see yourself as a failure, feeling despondent because you had imagined yourself being so much further ahead than you are. I know how easy it is to look at your friends and feel a certain way because they seem to have made it to the place where you thought you would be and you envy them. How depression can creep in and make you feel so much worse about your situation and how your frustrations builds, and you get angry and despondent, wishing that things could be different. Then you mind starts going through the should haves and the could haves and you start to think that your life has been a sham and a waste. Stop it! Look around you, weigh in the accomplishment you have made, the obstacles you have overcome and who you have in your life. Because, someone out there is looking at you and is just as envious of you and what you have as you are of others.
It is never too late for you to start over again, to do something different, to achieve something. Further, if you really think about it there is always someone out there that is worse off then you. The trick is to stop beating yourself up over your perceived failures, stop being so hard on yourself and down playing your accomplishments. You are still here and continue to try, and that alone is something worth being proud of. You may never know who is looking at you, drawing strength from your life, and looking up to you as a role model. You could be totally unaware of how much of an inspiration you are to someone else, because you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself and lack of accomplishments. There are people in your life that love you and respect you, and your loss would devastate them.
Think back to the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart and remember the revelation he found out when the angle came to him and granted him the wish that he had never been alive, so many things were different and so many peoples lives were utterly changed and not for the better just because he had never been born. The same goes for you! You can't possibly know how many times your smile, or a simple act of kindness that you displayed had changed someone's life or made a difference in some incalculable way. There is no random or chance encounters, people come into each of our lives for a reason, and they are there until it is there time to move on. Some come in and last a lifetime others are just there for a small duration. You may be struggling now, but someone close to you may have been through a similar situation and you might benefit from their experience and vice-versa. Each of us has lessons to learn and stuff to teach, but we cannot do it if we get ourselves mired down in self-pity and regret.
No matter how you feel about yourself now, or where you stand on your journey. I know that each of us at some point or another thinks we have failed or are a failure. But here is the thing to keep in mind, who could have done it any better? Look at what you had to come through, what obstacles and illnesses and tragedies you have braved and you are still going strong. Take pride in your accomplishments, be grateful for what you have, seek the happiness within yourself. When you can do that you are going to find that you are a very prosperous individual, and should be content with where you are at because maybe if you were further along, you might have missed a key aspect of your life that defines you. Also keep in mind that there is no one else in the world quite like you. No one has your experiences, has made the choices you have made for the reasons you have made them, no one can understand the consequences and rewards you have endured on your journey. Remind yourself of those you have helped along the way to realize their dreams, given them shelter, food, clothing or whatever. Trust me when I tell you that you are one of a kind, an original, you are a master-piece, a great work of art, made beautiful by your struggles and your understanding that you have gained along the way. This makes you totally unique, and guess what unique things can never be replaced, they are precious and invaluable, and that is you!
Life is full of special moments, and sometimes we are so busy we miss them, or we let them pass us by because we didn't recognize them. Whatever the case is, take the time and make some moments special on your own. Celebrate things that you normally wouldn't, give gifts or be spontaneous, whatever, just wake yourself up and look at what you have done and come through, you will be amazed! And when you find yourself at a dead end with no seeming exit, every door is closed to you, then by all means open a window, make your own path, start a new adventure, because life is precious and short, and you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy. Forget about what everyone else is doing and don't give a damn about what they think, because guess what are they paying your bills? Are they doing all they can to give you the world on a silver platter? I don't think so! Therefore their opinion doesn't amount to shit, and as I have said before only you can make yourself happy, only you can do for you, because in the long run, everybody is just looking out for themselves.
So, when that depression strikes and wraps around your heart and tries to make you think that you are such a failure, that you haven't accomplished anything, and that you aren't anywhere where you thought you should be. Pull back, take a break and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself. " I am special, I have come through much, I have so much and I am unique and irreplaceable." Trust me you tell yourself enough, you will start to believe it. Because it is the truth, no one can replace you, no one can do what you have done, and no one will help as many people as you have. You are blessed and loved by your family, friends and all who know you. God has blessed you and will keep blessing you each and every day of your life. Give thanks for the little things you accomplish, don't sweat the small stuff in life that you cannot control, and above all love yourself enough to pat yourself on the back and give yourself a compliment for a job well done.
Remember what my grandfather told me so long ago. "A man leaves his mark on this world not by how much money he has or how many houses, or material possessions, but by how many life's he has touched, how many people he has helped, and those that remember him when he is gone. Your works will speak for themselves and those you have helped will know what you have done for them and remember you for your kindness and generosity, they will be your testimony and tribute to the world." There is always someone watching you, finding hope and inspiration from you, looking up to you and trying to be like you whether you know it or not. So yes you are special, in so many ways. Never ever think about giving up and throwing in the towel, because there are so many people believing in you and counting on you. You just can't see them all.
I hope you truly understand that you are loved and blessed. You will never be forgotten and your works and deed will certainly outlive you.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I know how easy it is to look at your life and weigh it against your dreams and feel that you have fallen short. How you can look in the mirror and see yourself as a failure, feeling despondent because you had imagined yourself being so much further ahead than you are. I know how easy it is to look at your friends and feel a certain way because they seem to have made it to the place where you thought you would be and you envy them. How depression can creep in and make you feel so much worse about your situation and how your frustrations builds, and you get angry and despondent, wishing that things could be different. Then you mind starts going through the should haves and the could haves and you start to think that your life has been a sham and a waste. Stop it! Look around you, weigh in the accomplishment you have made, the obstacles you have overcome and who you have in your life. Because, someone out there is looking at you and is just as envious of you and what you have as you are of others.
It is never too late for you to start over again, to do something different, to achieve something. Further, if you really think about it there is always someone out there that is worse off then you. The trick is to stop beating yourself up over your perceived failures, stop being so hard on yourself and down playing your accomplishments. You are still here and continue to try, and that alone is something worth being proud of. You may never know who is looking at you, drawing strength from your life, and looking up to you as a role model. You could be totally unaware of how much of an inspiration you are to someone else, because you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself and lack of accomplishments. There are people in your life that love you and respect you, and your loss would devastate them.
Think back to the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart and remember the revelation he found out when the angle came to him and granted him the wish that he had never been alive, so many things were different and so many peoples lives were utterly changed and not for the better just because he had never been born. The same goes for you! You can't possibly know how many times your smile, or a simple act of kindness that you displayed had changed someone's life or made a difference in some incalculable way. There is no random or chance encounters, people come into each of our lives for a reason, and they are there until it is there time to move on. Some come in and last a lifetime others are just there for a small duration. You may be struggling now, but someone close to you may have been through a similar situation and you might benefit from their experience and vice-versa. Each of us has lessons to learn and stuff to teach, but we cannot do it if we get ourselves mired down in self-pity and regret.
No matter how you feel about yourself now, or where you stand on your journey. I know that each of us at some point or another thinks we have failed or are a failure. But here is the thing to keep in mind, who could have done it any better? Look at what you had to come through, what obstacles and illnesses and tragedies you have braved and you are still going strong. Take pride in your accomplishments, be grateful for what you have, seek the happiness within yourself. When you can do that you are going to find that you are a very prosperous individual, and should be content with where you are at because maybe if you were further along, you might have missed a key aspect of your life that defines you. Also keep in mind that there is no one else in the world quite like you. No one has your experiences, has made the choices you have made for the reasons you have made them, no one can understand the consequences and rewards you have endured on your journey. Remind yourself of those you have helped along the way to realize their dreams, given them shelter, food, clothing or whatever. Trust me when I tell you that you are one of a kind, an original, you are a master-piece, a great work of art, made beautiful by your struggles and your understanding that you have gained along the way. This makes you totally unique, and guess what unique things can never be replaced, they are precious and invaluable, and that is you!
Life is full of special moments, and sometimes we are so busy we miss them, or we let them pass us by because we didn't recognize them. Whatever the case is, take the time and make some moments special on your own. Celebrate things that you normally wouldn't, give gifts or be spontaneous, whatever, just wake yourself up and look at what you have done and come through, you will be amazed! And when you find yourself at a dead end with no seeming exit, every door is closed to you, then by all means open a window, make your own path, start a new adventure, because life is precious and short, and you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy. Forget about what everyone else is doing and don't give a damn about what they think, because guess what are they paying your bills? Are they doing all they can to give you the world on a silver platter? I don't think so! Therefore their opinion doesn't amount to shit, and as I have said before only you can make yourself happy, only you can do for you, because in the long run, everybody is just looking out for themselves.
So, when that depression strikes and wraps around your heart and tries to make you think that you are such a failure, that you haven't accomplished anything, and that you aren't anywhere where you thought you should be. Pull back, take a break and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself. " I am special, I have come through much, I have so much and I am unique and irreplaceable." Trust me you tell yourself enough, you will start to believe it. Because it is the truth, no one can replace you, no one can do what you have done, and no one will help as many people as you have. You are blessed and loved by your family, friends and all who know you. God has blessed you and will keep blessing you each and every day of your life. Give thanks for the little things you accomplish, don't sweat the small stuff in life that you cannot control, and above all love yourself enough to pat yourself on the back and give yourself a compliment for a job well done.
Remember what my grandfather told me so long ago. "A man leaves his mark on this world not by how much money he has or how many houses, or material possessions, but by how many life's he has touched, how many people he has helped, and those that remember him when he is gone. Your works will speak for themselves and those you have helped will know what you have done for them and remember you for your kindness and generosity, they will be your testimony and tribute to the world." There is always someone watching you, finding hope and inspiration from you, looking up to you and trying to be like you whether you know it or not. So yes you are special, in so many ways. Never ever think about giving up and throwing in the towel, because there are so many people believing in you and counting on you. You just can't see them all.
I hope you truly understand that you are loved and blessed. You will never be forgotten and your works and deed will certainly outlive you.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Monday, August 6, 2012
All my life all I ever wanted to do was help other people
Believe it or not it is the truth, and those of you who have known me all my life can attest to the fact that I have continued to help everyone who needed it around me. Sometimes to the exclusion of my own needs, wants and desires. I would try and help as many people as I could till sometimes it hurt me and my relationships and friendships. My philosophy in life was a simple one you cannot use someone who knows what you are doing. Unfortunately, I got hurt by a lot of people who I was just trying to help. But in all honesty I wouldn't change anything I have done in my life. Because what I have been through has made me the person I am today. I have come through some really tough places, and been in some really strange situations, but I came away from all of it with a new understanding and knowledge that I would have missed out on if I hadn't had that particular experience.
I cannot say that my life has been a road full of joy, but I can tell you that it has been a great deal happier for all the people I have met and known on my journey. Trust and believe that journey is far from over, but my ideals have changed a bit, I have found a way to help people without jeopardizing myself or getting caught up in their drama. See usually it isn't necessarily the person that causes the problem, though you do run into those occasional few that try to run game on you, it is the drama that surrounds the person that causes the most problems. If you could detach the person from the drama that surrounds the problem or issue, you have a better chance of helping them. Though to be honest nine times out of ten it will be impossible, drama like to follow the downtrodden and that is just a fact of life.
I am here to tell you that you can help people, inspire them, and do great things without personally getting too involved in their life and their drama. You can offer words of encouragement, you can talk to them about their situation and offer solid real world advice, and they have to option to listen to you or carry on in their situation. You don't have to give them money, or housing, or food or any of those things, because you know what there are places and things that can help them, all you have to do is know the right resource to point them too. Now, I am not a proponent of leaving anyone on the streets, but I do know how effective it is to have 8 people crammed into your 2 bedroom apartment and you are the only one with income. Trust me you are going to quickly find out that your valuables and your hard earned money isn't going to be enough and before you know it you are going to be going through it. I learned in my last stay in Atlanta, that there is such a things as the word "NO" and that you have to exercise "Tough Love" sometimes in order to get someone motivated to do the right thing.
If you are like me and you love people and you have the desire to help them, find a way to do it that isn't going to jeopardize your well being and upset your social order, and bring discord into your life. Everyday I sit in front of my computer and I think of ways that I know of that can benefit other peoples lives, I write about them and post them here for you all to see. Yet, there is so much more that I want to do with my time and energy. I am wanting to start going on the lecture circuit and talk about cancer and other terminal illnesses like HIV and HEP C, because I have been exposed to all of those things, I have learned about them and what they mean. I am also a survivor, and I have some real world practical knowledge that I can share with people about these types of things. Now, honestly I have no real idea of how to break into that circuit, but trust me when I tell you I am going to find out. Because I want people to know that there is still life and plenty of things to do when you are afflicted with one of these things. There is so much to live for and to dream about, and do with your life, all you have to do is find the courage and the inspiration to follow through.
I encourage each and everyone of you to look around you, search the face of the people you know and find the inspiration in each of them, you know we all have a story, and we all have accomplishments that we should be proud of. I have never wanted to be famous or be more than I am, but I have had my chances, I can tell you I was well known when I worked for Disney, I met a lot of people in the entertainment industry, and some of them I made an impression on and some probably don't even remember my name, but then I moved to Atlanta and again I found myself in a position where I knew a lot of people and was influential in things pertaining to the government of the State of Georgia. I worked for 4 different Governors, and my opinion was asked for and valued at the same time. Now, here I am telling you that you can do it! You can be anything you want to be, but I want you to remember that you have to take care of yourself first, you must make sure that your needs are taken care of and met before you try to take care of anyone else's needs or problems, because if you don't one day you are going to wake up and realize that you have been taken for a ride, and everyone has left you and you have nothing left to give to anyone anymore. I know trust me I am speaking from personal experience here.
But, here is the thing about me, nothing keeps me down for long, I love people, and I love movies, and I love music, and I find inspiration in people and things that you probably aren't even aware of. I was on Google + a minute ago and Nicki Minaj is doing a question and answer on their and I saw her response to one girl who asked her is she would come and visit her school. Nicki's response was to email her because she didn't have any information on where this girl was at or where her school was. Now this is from a superstar, taking the interest here. I have been following Nicki's career with interest, and have encouraged her to read my blog, but who knows if she will or not, but I can tell you she is an inspiration to me, she gives me strength knowing that she is out there doing her best to be a role model for these young women, someone they can look up to. She teaches them to respect themselves and their talent, and to dare to dream, because dreams do come true. Now, I don't know if Nicki ever dreamed of when she signed with LiL Waynes label that she would become a role model or not, but I can tell you this, she is doing a great job with it. What's even better she is taking the time out of her schedule to address her fans one on one, and that is something that you don't see every star doing. I applaud her efforts and I know she is going to go far in this world.
My point in all of this, is if you want to help someone and they have truly asked for your help and you are willing to take on the challenge, then I encourage you to do so bravely, but remember to take care of yourself in the process, don't let them take more from you than you are willing to give, and know when to say No and when it is time to cut the strings, because there are some out there that will continue to take and never give in return, there are those that don't understand the concept of help, and in actuality all you end up doing is enabling them to continue in their own set behavior and never move out of it. Trust me I have been an enabler more times than I can to reiterate here, but let me tell you, if the person you are trying to help isn't trying to better themselves, and continues on in the same pattern of behavior you found them in, you need to cut the strings and walk away, because they aren't really looking for your help, they are trying to find someone who is going to provide for their current needs and forget the rest, and if you are not careful they may pull you down with them.
I live my life as an example of how you can change the way you were handling things to a better more constructive way. My blogging enables me to reach out and touch and help more people now more than ever, and I don't have to support them, feed them, or help them get drugs. Because you know what I have been there before and I can tell you that it can become defeatist if you let it, and you can get stuck in the same trap that the person you are trying to help is in and before you know it you are looking for a hand to help you out of your predicament. Trust me it isn't easy when you lose your way, and it is hard to get back on your feet when you are constantly starting over with nothing. But know this, you can benefit from each experience, you can learn from them and you can grow. Others will see what your about and take inspiration from it and try to emulate you. That is the best form of flattery if you ask me, if someone takes how you do things and imitates them.
I keep telling you that life is short and that you cannot help everyone in the world, and maybe I am wrong, because as of my 100th blog entry I have readers from 25 countries check out my blog. Now, I have no way of know if they have actually read it or what, but I can tell you that I have a lot of readers out there. Not many of them have actually joined my blog site, but I have a lot of people that email me and post on my Facebook and Twitter about my blog, so I am encouraged to keep on writing. I know that there are a lot of people out there that have heard what I am saying before, but they just need a reminder now and then. Other times, I feel the Spirit of the Lord or my Angels telling me that I need to write something, and before you know it I am getting a post or comment telling me thank you that it must have been meant for them because it came at just the right moment that they needed to hear it.
I write because it helps me deal with the situations I am going through, and I use examples from my own life and I try to keep the focus simple and easy to understand because, I want everyone to find some value or benefit from what I write. I am not making any money doing this, it is my passion and something that I am good at. I retired because of illness and I do this because I want to, not because I have to, and trust me if I don't write for a day I feel guilty even when I publish three in a day. But there are some days when I have to think a bit more about the topic I want to discuss because I haven't quite got it all worked out yet. But when I do I am back at the keyboard typing away.
So those of you that want to help others around you find a way like me to help them and others and do it in such a way that you are a positive role model that they can base their own choices on. Keep up a positive outlook on things and watch how much of a return you get in the sense of joy and satisfaction. Trust me you will be amazed at how good it feels knowing that you were able to help someone and that they benefited in some small way from your life and your example.
All of you keep up the good work, and please be sure to look around you and find inspiration in those that touch your life. Tell them thank you, share with them the encouragement and strength you have found in them, take time to appreciate them. Give thanks to God that he has brought them into your life.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I cannot say that my life has been a road full of joy, but I can tell you that it has been a great deal happier for all the people I have met and known on my journey. Trust and believe that journey is far from over, but my ideals have changed a bit, I have found a way to help people without jeopardizing myself or getting caught up in their drama. See usually it isn't necessarily the person that causes the problem, though you do run into those occasional few that try to run game on you, it is the drama that surrounds the person that causes the most problems. If you could detach the person from the drama that surrounds the problem or issue, you have a better chance of helping them. Though to be honest nine times out of ten it will be impossible, drama like to follow the downtrodden and that is just a fact of life.
I am here to tell you that you can help people, inspire them, and do great things without personally getting too involved in their life and their drama. You can offer words of encouragement, you can talk to them about their situation and offer solid real world advice, and they have to option to listen to you or carry on in their situation. You don't have to give them money, or housing, or food or any of those things, because you know what there are places and things that can help them, all you have to do is know the right resource to point them too. Now, I am not a proponent of leaving anyone on the streets, but I do know how effective it is to have 8 people crammed into your 2 bedroom apartment and you are the only one with income. Trust me you are going to quickly find out that your valuables and your hard earned money isn't going to be enough and before you know it you are going to be going through it. I learned in my last stay in Atlanta, that there is such a things as the word "NO" and that you have to exercise "Tough Love" sometimes in order to get someone motivated to do the right thing.
If you are like me and you love people and you have the desire to help them, find a way to do it that isn't going to jeopardize your well being and upset your social order, and bring discord into your life. Everyday I sit in front of my computer and I think of ways that I know of that can benefit other peoples lives, I write about them and post them here for you all to see. Yet, there is so much more that I want to do with my time and energy. I am wanting to start going on the lecture circuit and talk about cancer and other terminal illnesses like HIV and HEP C, because I have been exposed to all of those things, I have learned about them and what they mean. I am also a survivor, and I have some real world practical knowledge that I can share with people about these types of things. Now, honestly I have no real idea of how to break into that circuit, but trust me when I tell you I am going to find out. Because I want people to know that there is still life and plenty of things to do when you are afflicted with one of these things. There is so much to live for and to dream about, and do with your life, all you have to do is find the courage and the inspiration to follow through.
I encourage each and everyone of you to look around you, search the face of the people you know and find the inspiration in each of them, you know we all have a story, and we all have accomplishments that we should be proud of. I have never wanted to be famous or be more than I am, but I have had my chances, I can tell you I was well known when I worked for Disney, I met a lot of people in the entertainment industry, and some of them I made an impression on and some probably don't even remember my name, but then I moved to Atlanta and again I found myself in a position where I knew a lot of people and was influential in things pertaining to the government of the State of Georgia. I worked for 4 different Governors, and my opinion was asked for and valued at the same time. Now, here I am telling you that you can do it! You can be anything you want to be, but I want you to remember that you have to take care of yourself first, you must make sure that your needs are taken care of and met before you try to take care of anyone else's needs or problems, because if you don't one day you are going to wake up and realize that you have been taken for a ride, and everyone has left you and you have nothing left to give to anyone anymore. I know trust me I am speaking from personal experience here.
But, here is the thing about me, nothing keeps me down for long, I love people, and I love movies, and I love music, and I find inspiration in people and things that you probably aren't even aware of. I was on Google + a minute ago and Nicki Minaj is doing a question and answer on their and I saw her response to one girl who asked her is she would come and visit her school. Nicki's response was to email her because she didn't have any information on where this girl was at or where her school was. Now this is from a superstar, taking the interest here. I have been following Nicki's career with interest, and have encouraged her to read my blog, but who knows if she will or not, but I can tell you she is an inspiration to me, she gives me strength knowing that she is out there doing her best to be a role model for these young women, someone they can look up to. She teaches them to respect themselves and their talent, and to dare to dream, because dreams do come true. Now, I don't know if Nicki ever dreamed of when she signed with LiL Waynes label that she would become a role model or not, but I can tell you this, she is doing a great job with it. What's even better she is taking the time out of her schedule to address her fans one on one, and that is something that you don't see every star doing. I applaud her efforts and I know she is going to go far in this world.
My point in all of this, is if you want to help someone and they have truly asked for your help and you are willing to take on the challenge, then I encourage you to do so bravely, but remember to take care of yourself in the process, don't let them take more from you than you are willing to give, and know when to say No and when it is time to cut the strings, because there are some out there that will continue to take and never give in return, there are those that don't understand the concept of help, and in actuality all you end up doing is enabling them to continue in their own set behavior and never move out of it. Trust me I have been an enabler more times than I can to reiterate here, but let me tell you, if the person you are trying to help isn't trying to better themselves, and continues on in the same pattern of behavior you found them in, you need to cut the strings and walk away, because they aren't really looking for your help, they are trying to find someone who is going to provide for their current needs and forget the rest, and if you are not careful they may pull you down with them.
I live my life as an example of how you can change the way you were handling things to a better more constructive way. My blogging enables me to reach out and touch and help more people now more than ever, and I don't have to support them, feed them, or help them get drugs. Because you know what I have been there before and I can tell you that it can become defeatist if you let it, and you can get stuck in the same trap that the person you are trying to help is in and before you know it you are looking for a hand to help you out of your predicament. Trust me it isn't easy when you lose your way, and it is hard to get back on your feet when you are constantly starting over with nothing. But know this, you can benefit from each experience, you can learn from them and you can grow. Others will see what your about and take inspiration from it and try to emulate you. That is the best form of flattery if you ask me, if someone takes how you do things and imitates them.
I keep telling you that life is short and that you cannot help everyone in the world, and maybe I am wrong, because as of my 100th blog entry I have readers from 25 countries check out my blog. Now, I have no way of know if they have actually read it or what, but I can tell you that I have a lot of readers out there. Not many of them have actually joined my blog site, but I have a lot of people that email me and post on my Facebook and Twitter about my blog, so I am encouraged to keep on writing. I know that there are a lot of people out there that have heard what I am saying before, but they just need a reminder now and then. Other times, I feel the Spirit of the Lord or my Angels telling me that I need to write something, and before you know it I am getting a post or comment telling me thank you that it must have been meant for them because it came at just the right moment that they needed to hear it.
I write because it helps me deal with the situations I am going through, and I use examples from my own life and I try to keep the focus simple and easy to understand because, I want everyone to find some value or benefit from what I write. I am not making any money doing this, it is my passion and something that I am good at. I retired because of illness and I do this because I want to, not because I have to, and trust me if I don't write for a day I feel guilty even when I publish three in a day. But there are some days when I have to think a bit more about the topic I want to discuss because I haven't quite got it all worked out yet. But when I do I am back at the keyboard typing away.
So those of you that want to help others around you find a way like me to help them and others and do it in such a way that you are a positive role model that they can base their own choices on. Keep up a positive outlook on things and watch how much of a return you get in the sense of joy and satisfaction. Trust me you will be amazed at how good it feels knowing that you were able to help someone and that they benefited in some small way from your life and your example.
All of you keep up the good work, and please be sure to look around you and find inspiration in those that touch your life. Tell them thank you, share with them the encouragement and strength you have found in them, take time to appreciate them. Give thanks to God that he has brought them into your life.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Do you know what the difference is between knowledge and wisdom?
You know I wrote about how Plato theorized that knowledge and learning had to be appended by the student, the instructor was to point them in the right direction and that is how knowledge was transferred. To Plato knowledge was universal, could be gleaned and appended (learned) by experience, thinking and rationalization. To him philosophical thought would allow a student to tap into thought-forms or the idea of things.
Other philosophers believe in a universal repository of knowledge called the "Akashic Record". Basically it is a huge database of all knowledge and understanding that can be tapped into via a trance like state, astral projection, or deep guided meditation. In either case I believe both schools of thought are extremely close to the truth. If you don't believe me let me fill you in on a few thoughts on this of my own.
Science has long held debate over Nature vs. Nurture, the debate stems from innate or born instinctual level traits passed along during birth. Some scientist contend that there is some knowledge passed from mother to child during the gestation period, or pregnancy. Other scientist's believe that we are taught everything after birth, that the mind of a new born is a clean slate. This second group believes that an infant, mammal or otherwise, learn through patterns and repetition. But what about survival instincts, the born knowledge that we must eat to live and other traits.
Coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, or Creationist view if you prefer the term, you need to take into consideration the story of the "Garden of Eden". It is said that the reason for the expulsion of Adam and Eve was because of disobedience to the only rule God had given them, which was not to eat of the fruit of the "Tree of Knowledge". This is pivotal in my discussion on this topic with you. Because you see here is where original sin comes from. Man's disobedience to the command of God. It also opened man's eyes to all knowledge of good and evil. Hence the hiding from God because of fear, because until that time they had no knowledge of fear.
In that one fateful incident all knowledge was instantly opened up to the mind of man. The knowledge was absorbed by the human mind, and I believe that it has remained with us today inside of each of us. It has been passed down through time, just like the burden of original sin.
Science has theorized for years that the average person only uses a tenth of their brain during their lifetime. I am sure you are aware that these are exceptions to this. Notably Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Newton, Bobby Fischer, Thomas Edison and countless others. We call them miracle children or prodigies and every generation produces one or two of them. If my memory serves me right the Dali Lama is born with the knowledge of his past incarnations, has access to all the understanding and memories of all his previous lives.
It is my belief that each of us has inside of us the knowledge of all things, as was gifted by that one bite of the forbidden fruit. With this thought in mind, I contend that the philosophers journey is the unlocking of that knowledge within ourselves to reach a higher level of consciousness. This means that the path of enlightenment, is the journey toward total knowledge and understanding. That the more we are exposed to this knowledge the further along the path we find ourselves toward enlightenment. But I also believe that with knowledge must come or be tempered with wisdom. See knowledge for the sake of knowledge is one thing but I think if you don't understand how to apply this knowledge to life you can never truly reach full enlightenment.
It is important to understand and comprehend as well as process the knowledge and apply it to your philosophical journey. You can have a person who is truly book smart. Knows everything but lacks street smarts, or the ability to survive in the real world or on the streets, it is the knowledge on how to survive the bumps in the road of life. The inverse is also true you can have someone who is street smart, a hustler so to speak, who can survive anywhere and knows how to handle themselves in any situation life throws at them. But cannot read or write, can't hold a job, etc.
Here is the key to understanding all of this. It is all inside of us. We were born with everything we need to know. We just have to look deep within ourselves and follow our thoughts to their inevitable conclusion. We all have the capacity to learn. We can internalize and reach logical conclusions about everything in this world. I also contend those of you who have been told you have a learning disorder or some other such nonsense, that the reason you find yourself struggling to comprehend something is because your natural affinity lies in a different direction.
Example of this, both my friend John and I have problems with higher math such as calculus. A couple of years ago John was classified as having a learning disorder that prevented him from excelling at math. I on the other hand struggled through it, eventually grasped it and can still do the math functions today. Now, I have to admit here I probably couldn't do it from memory now without a refresher and a formula sheet. But, the point I want to make is pretty simple really. Basically it comes down to Left Brain versus Right Brain. Psychologist have realized that the artistic and the logical are managed by the active side of your brain or the dominant side. If memory serves left brained or left-handed people are more artistically inclined where the right brained or right-handed are more logic and technically oriented.
But, this is our predisposition, the way that we are born, our so called innate tendency, our natural affinity, or in a broader sense our talents. Now, I am not saying that a right handed person is less talented than a left handed person, what I am saying is that art, music and other artistic endeavors come more easily and naturally to a left brain person. Whereas, a right brained person can learn and become artistic, they are more inclined to comprehend and understand complex logic and functions. A right brained person must struggle and put effort into their artistic work, which usually shows in their work and makes it so appealing. Conversely, the same is true to a left brained person, art comes easily for them, they struggle through math and sciences. Yet, that is what makes their discoveries so ground breaking.
The point I am trying to make is this, that which we struggle through and give life too is an actual process on the philosophers journey. Wisdom is gained by the practical application of the knowledge we have and perceive. Trust me when I tell you after you struggle through something, learn the concepts behind them and finally master it, you will never forget it. It is the journey, the work, the pressure you put into it that makes it memorable.
So what is knowledge? It is the comprehension and the understanding of a complex thought or information. According to Websters it is "to perceive directly as fact or truth, to believe to be true; to be certain of; to be familiar with or have experience of." So knowledge boiled down is facts, figures, laws, information pas on as fact. Whereas, wisdom is the applied usage of knowledge in the appropriate place or time. Webster's defines wisdom as "the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring; good judgement, knowledge."
Can you see the point I am trying to make? Can you understand and comprehend what I am laying out? That wisdom and knowledge are milestones and landmarks of the philosophers journey. They are not mutually exclusive of each other yet they aren't mutually inclusive of each other either. I believe King Solomon, the wisest man in the world was given the ability by God to have access to all knowledge of the ages and the wisdom to comprehend it all and to apply it to life. Further, if you are like me and believe that God created us. That He truly breathed the spark of life into us, then you should also believe that the Divine resides or dwells within us. It is what gives some people premonitions, ESP, do miraculous things. It also gives us the ability to access the knowledge that was granted in that one act of disobedience the "Knowledge of Good and Evil". That everything and anything is possible and that it is all within us. It is a gift as much as a curse, it can be used to benefit all of mankind or can be used to subjugate and destroy like Hitler tried to do.
I encourage you to take the spiritual and philosophical journey with me. To pray and meditate on all things. Because the knowledge and wisdom is within us, reachable and usable. Wrap the knowledge you have with wisdom, explore all thins, remember what Mr. Webster said, "Wisdom is the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring." Learn all you can and use good judgement.
The road of life is filled with many mysteries, we have the ability to solve them, understand them, comprehend them and use them to better ourselves and society as a whole.
As always y hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Thank you for helping me realize my dream. I published entries 100 and 101 today. It is all because of your encouragement and support. God bless you and keep you safe. I hope you will continue to read.
Thanks a million!
Bryan :-)
Other philosophers believe in a universal repository of knowledge called the "Akashic Record". Basically it is a huge database of all knowledge and understanding that can be tapped into via a trance like state, astral projection, or deep guided meditation. In either case I believe both schools of thought are extremely close to the truth. If you don't believe me let me fill you in on a few thoughts on this of my own.
Science has long held debate over Nature vs. Nurture, the debate stems from innate or born instinctual level traits passed along during birth. Some scientist contend that there is some knowledge passed from mother to child during the gestation period, or pregnancy. Other scientist's believe that we are taught everything after birth, that the mind of a new born is a clean slate. This second group believes that an infant, mammal or otherwise, learn through patterns and repetition. But what about survival instincts, the born knowledge that we must eat to live and other traits.
Coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, or Creationist view if you prefer the term, you need to take into consideration the story of the "Garden of Eden". It is said that the reason for the expulsion of Adam and Eve was because of disobedience to the only rule God had given them, which was not to eat of the fruit of the "Tree of Knowledge". This is pivotal in my discussion on this topic with you. Because you see here is where original sin comes from. Man's disobedience to the command of God. It also opened man's eyes to all knowledge of good and evil. Hence the hiding from God because of fear, because until that time they had no knowledge of fear.
In that one fateful incident all knowledge was instantly opened up to the mind of man. The knowledge was absorbed by the human mind, and I believe that it has remained with us today inside of each of us. It has been passed down through time, just like the burden of original sin.
Science has theorized for years that the average person only uses a tenth of their brain during their lifetime. I am sure you are aware that these are exceptions to this. Notably Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Newton, Bobby Fischer, Thomas Edison and countless others. We call them miracle children or prodigies and every generation produces one or two of them. If my memory serves me right the Dali Lama is born with the knowledge of his past incarnations, has access to all the understanding and memories of all his previous lives.
It is my belief that each of us has inside of us the knowledge of all things, as was gifted by that one bite of the forbidden fruit. With this thought in mind, I contend that the philosophers journey is the unlocking of that knowledge within ourselves to reach a higher level of consciousness. This means that the path of enlightenment, is the journey toward total knowledge and understanding. That the more we are exposed to this knowledge the further along the path we find ourselves toward enlightenment. But I also believe that with knowledge must come or be tempered with wisdom. See knowledge for the sake of knowledge is one thing but I think if you don't understand how to apply this knowledge to life you can never truly reach full enlightenment.
It is important to understand and comprehend as well as process the knowledge and apply it to your philosophical journey. You can have a person who is truly book smart. Knows everything but lacks street smarts, or the ability to survive in the real world or on the streets, it is the knowledge on how to survive the bumps in the road of life. The inverse is also true you can have someone who is street smart, a hustler so to speak, who can survive anywhere and knows how to handle themselves in any situation life throws at them. But cannot read or write, can't hold a job, etc.
Here is the key to understanding all of this. It is all inside of us. We were born with everything we need to know. We just have to look deep within ourselves and follow our thoughts to their inevitable conclusion. We all have the capacity to learn. We can internalize and reach logical conclusions about everything in this world. I also contend those of you who have been told you have a learning disorder or some other such nonsense, that the reason you find yourself struggling to comprehend something is because your natural affinity lies in a different direction.
Example of this, both my friend John and I have problems with higher math such as calculus. A couple of years ago John was classified as having a learning disorder that prevented him from excelling at math. I on the other hand struggled through it, eventually grasped it and can still do the math functions today. Now, I have to admit here I probably couldn't do it from memory now without a refresher and a formula sheet. But, the point I want to make is pretty simple really. Basically it comes down to Left Brain versus Right Brain. Psychologist have realized that the artistic and the logical are managed by the active side of your brain or the dominant side. If memory serves left brained or left-handed people are more artistically inclined where the right brained or right-handed are more logic and technically oriented.
But, this is our predisposition, the way that we are born, our so called innate tendency, our natural affinity, or in a broader sense our talents. Now, I am not saying that a right handed person is less talented than a left handed person, what I am saying is that art, music and other artistic endeavors come more easily and naturally to a left brain person. Whereas, a right brained person can learn and become artistic, they are more inclined to comprehend and understand complex logic and functions. A right brained person must struggle and put effort into their artistic work, which usually shows in their work and makes it so appealing. Conversely, the same is true to a left brained person, art comes easily for them, they struggle through math and sciences. Yet, that is what makes their discoveries so ground breaking.
The point I am trying to make is this, that which we struggle through and give life too is an actual process on the philosophers journey. Wisdom is gained by the practical application of the knowledge we have and perceive. Trust me when I tell you after you struggle through something, learn the concepts behind them and finally master it, you will never forget it. It is the journey, the work, the pressure you put into it that makes it memorable.
So what is knowledge? It is the comprehension and the understanding of a complex thought or information. According to Websters it is "to perceive directly as fact or truth, to believe to be true; to be certain of; to be familiar with or have experience of." So knowledge boiled down is facts, figures, laws, information pas on as fact. Whereas, wisdom is the applied usage of knowledge in the appropriate place or time. Webster's defines wisdom as "the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring; good judgement, knowledge."
Can you see the point I am trying to make? Can you understand and comprehend what I am laying out? That wisdom and knowledge are milestones and landmarks of the philosophers journey. They are not mutually exclusive of each other yet they aren't mutually inclusive of each other either. I believe King Solomon, the wisest man in the world was given the ability by God to have access to all knowledge of the ages and the wisdom to comprehend it all and to apply it to life. Further, if you are like me and believe that God created us. That He truly breathed the spark of life into us, then you should also believe that the Divine resides or dwells within us. It is what gives some people premonitions, ESP, do miraculous things. It also gives us the ability to access the knowledge that was granted in that one act of disobedience the "Knowledge of Good and Evil". That everything and anything is possible and that it is all within us. It is a gift as much as a curse, it can be used to benefit all of mankind or can be used to subjugate and destroy like Hitler tried to do.
I encourage you to take the spiritual and philosophical journey with me. To pray and meditate on all things. Because the knowledge and wisdom is within us, reachable and usable. Wrap the knowledge you have with wisdom, explore all thins, remember what Mr. Webster said, "Wisdom is the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring." Learn all you can and use good judgement.
The road of life is filled with many mysteries, we have the ability to solve them, understand them, comprehend them and use them to better ourselves and society as a whole.
As always y hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Thank you for helping me realize my dream. I published entries 100 and 101 today. It is all because of your encouragement and support. God bless you and keep you safe. I hope you will continue to read.
Thanks a million!
Bryan :-)
Choices Are Us!
Sounds like a chain store doesn't it? Well last night I was writing about settling for less than what we want. I told you to go for it, damn the consequences and make yourself happy, not to second guess yourself or beat yourself up for buying whatever it is that you wanted or needed. But as I sat here today thinking about things, it dawned on me that life is nothing more than a multitude of choices that we have to make. These choices, bring about decisions, and the path that we embark on here in life.
Choices make our day go by and help us feel that we have accomplished something. The problem with choices is that there are always consequences for them. You might remember me saying that "Anything worth doing isn't easy!" Which, believe it or not is the truth. Believe me every morning you wake up and you have a million choices that you have to make. There is never a situation that comes up where there isn't a choice that can be made. You must look at all the options that you have, because sometimes the first choice is not necessarily the best choice for you or your life. You must look at every situation and evaluate it carefully, think outside of the box and view every possible option and look at it from each and every perspective you can think of. You know how precious life is and how short it is. You must think, look outside of the box and keep your options open.
What you need to understand is that sometimes we cannot see the consequences that the action takes quite a while to reach fruition, but believe me when I tell you that for every action there is a reaction, so too there must be a consequence for every choice. Now, with that basic understanding you much also realize that not all consequences are bad, there can also be rewards for your choices. All a reward is the positive consequences of choice that we have made. I don't want to be long winded about this subject but it is very important that you realize that for each and everything we do we are either going to receive a consequence or a reward depending on whatever decision or choice we have made.
In my blog entry entitled "A change of scenery might be what you need..." I explained that if you are in a pattern of behavior or a rut, you may just need to change your scenery or venue. Meaning in order to make a clean break from what you are trying to escape you might need to move to a new place, change your friends or do whatever you need to do to make your situation better. You made a choice that got you into the present situation and the choice you are making now to get out of whatever it is will have greater and far reaching affects than you can imagine. Now, no one said that any decision you make is going to be easy, that there aren't going to be obstacles in your way, or people trying to keep you held back. What I am trying to tell you is that the benefits of your choice will outweigh the costs that you are facing. You may not see them or recognize them right away, but believe me they will come.
No matter what you are facing, if you let your emotions, depression or guilt cloud your judgement, you won't be able to address the situation correctly, and you might miss some choices that aren't readily foreseen. As I have told you, for every choice that we are presented with in our life, there are a million different choices. There is no single solution that outweighs any other, just the consequences and the rewards that we will have to face. Therefore, if there are considerations that need to be made you need to tackle them objectively, and truthfully look for all possible solutions and directions at which to come at the problem from. Abstract thinking and thinking outside of the box require you to use rational thought, you have to be free from distractions and emotions.
Divorcing ourselves from emotions is a very important step in the process of determining which course of action we should take. Because only if we keep our mind free of distractions can we truly focus on the problem or choice that we have to make. In my blog entry "There is no right or wrong way to deal with a problem" I go into some detail explaining that you have to review your choices before you make a decision, and that the key to finding all the choices that you have open to you is by keeping your emotions detached from the selection process. Now this is a hard thing to learn, you have to understand that you have use the analytical part of your brain. You must come at the problem from every possible angle you can think of. If you don't the situation becomes muddle and confused with anxiety, depression and sometimes guilt.
It is okay to feel those things and we all do. The secret is how you deal with those feelings, and how you push them back so that you can think clearly and rationally about the problem at hand and the choice that you have to make. In other words, every decision, has several choices, and each choice can lead to several more decisions that have to be made. Our brain is such a miraculous thing that it can analyze and compute all the decisions, choices, and all the variables associated with them in a blink of an eye. When we really put our brain power to focus on one of these choices or decision we take conscious control away from the brain and we analyze it in detail. This is the process that I am talking about, the split second decisions, the ones that need a response immediately sometimes cannot be process through with rational or analytic thought at all because they happen so quickly. But other things like paying a bill and what pair of shoes to wear, are all things we can analyze and make a conscious decision about.
The only thing that I would like you to take away from this blog entry is this: that every day we face problems, and decision points that we need to evaluate and find the appropriate solution for. In order to see all the choices before you, you really want to see all of them because you don't want to make the situation worse by making a bad decision. That for each choice and decision we have to make there are a myriad of solutions in which we can act upon to remedy the situation. Therefore, with detaching our emotions and keeping an open mind you might find a workable solution to the dilemma or problem.
We have free choice of our own actions, and we can extricate ourselves out of the situations we have put ourselves in or allowed ourselves to be in. It is just a matter of looking at the situation from every possible angle and making a logical and rational decision on how to handle and deal with the situation.
As Always my hopes and dreams are with you.
Uncle B.
Choices make our day go by and help us feel that we have accomplished something. The problem with choices is that there are always consequences for them. You might remember me saying that "Anything worth doing isn't easy!" Which, believe it or not is the truth. Believe me every morning you wake up and you have a million choices that you have to make. There is never a situation that comes up where there isn't a choice that can be made. You must look at all the options that you have, because sometimes the first choice is not necessarily the best choice for you or your life. You must look at every situation and evaluate it carefully, think outside of the box and view every possible option and look at it from each and every perspective you can think of. You know how precious life is and how short it is. You must think, look outside of the box and keep your options open.
What you need to understand is that sometimes we cannot see the consequences that the action takes quite a while to reach fruition, but believe me when I tell you that for every action there is a reaction, so too there must be a consequence for every choice. Now, with that basic understanding you much also realize that not all consequences are bad, there can also be rewards for your choices. All a reward is the positive consequences of choice that we have made. I don't want to be long winded about this subject but it is very important that you realize that for each and everything we do we are either going to receive a consequence or a reward depending on whatever decision or choice we have made.
In my blog entry entitled "A change of scenery might be what you need..." I explained that if you are in a pattern of behavior or a rut, you may just need to change your scenery or venue. Meaning in order to make a clean break from what you are trying to escape you might need to move to a new place, change your friends or do whatever you need to do to make your situation better. You made a choice that got you into the present situation and the choice you are making now to get out of whatever it is will have greater and far reaching affects than you can imagine. Now, no one said that any decision you make is going to be easy, that there aren't going to be obstacles in your way, or people trying to keep you held back. What I am trying to tell you is that the benefits of your choice will outweigh the costs that you are facing. You may not see them or recognize them right away, but believe me they will come.
No matter what you are facing, if you let your emotions, depression or guilt cloud your judgement, you won't be able to address the situation correctly, and you might miss some choices that aren't readily foreseen. As I have told you, for every choice that we are presented with in our life, there are a million different choices. There is no single solution that outweighs any other, just the consequences and the rewards that we will have to face. Therefore, if there are considerations that need to be made you need to tackle them objectively, and truthfully look for all possible solutions and directions at which to come at the problem from. Abstract thinking and thinking outside of the box require you to use rational thought, you have to be free from distractions and emotions.
Divorcing ourselves from emotions is a very important step in the process of determining which course of action we should take. Because only if we keep our mind free of distractions can we truly focus on the problem or choice that we have to make. In my blog entry "There is no right or wrong way to deal with a problem" I go into some detail explaining that you have to review your choices before you make a decision, and that the key to finding all the choices that you have open to you is by keeping your emotions detached from the selection process. Now this is a hard thing to learn, you have to understand that you have use the analytical part of your brain. You must come at the problem from every possible angle you can think of. If you don't the situation becomes muddle and confused with anxiety, depression and sometimes guilt.
It is okay to feel those things and we all do. The secret is how you deal with those feelings, and how you push them back so that you can think clearly and rationally about the problem at hand and the choice that you have to make. In other words, every decision, has several choices, and each choice can lead to several more decisions that have to be made. Our brain is such a miraculous thing that it can analyze and compute all the decisions, choices, and all the variables associated with them in a blink of an eye. When we really put our brain power to focus on one of these choices or decision we take conscious control away from the brain and we analyze it in detail. This is the process that I am talking about, the split second decisions, the ones that need a response immediately sometimes cannot be process through with rational or analytic thought at all because they happen so quickly. But other things like paying a bill and what pair of shoes to wear, are all things we can analyze and make a conscious decision about.
The only thing that I would like you to take away from this blog entry is this: that every day we face problems, and decision points that we need to evaluate and find the appropriate solution for. In order to see all the choices before you, you really want to see all of them because you don't want to make the situation worse by making a bad decision. That for each choice and decision we have to make there are a myriad of solutions in which we can act upon to remedy the situation. Therefore, with detaching our emotions and keeping an open mind you might find a workable solution to the dilemma or problem.
We have free choice of our own actions, and we can extricate ourselves out of the situations we have put ourselves in or allowed ourselves to be in. It is just a matter of looking at the situation from every possible angle and making a logical and rational decision on how to handle and deal with the situation.
As Always my hopes and dreams are with you.
Uncle B.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Settling for other than you want and second guessing yourself is wrong
Life is full of changes, and when you come to a point in your life when you really want something, you have the means to achieve it but you are afraid that it will strain you financially. I want you to stop second guessing yourself, go for it! Don't settle for something less because it is less risky or expensive. When you start to settle for things that you don't want, or doesn't quite meet your expectations, you set a pattern for yourself that you might not be able to break out of.
Even when I was making good money, and doing alright for myself, I would be the last one to order a meal when out for dinner, I would wait and see what everyone else ordered, and then choose something less expensive. This wasn't because I had too, it was because I felt uncomfortable with the expense, and I always feared that I wouldn't be able to afford it. Even when I was in a relationship of 12 years, I sometimes still found myself in that mind frame, and would revert back to my old pattern of behavior. What is worse is that every time I would make a decision about a purchase, I would feel guilty about it. I would second guess myself and begin to worry. This is often referred to as buyers remorse. Believe it or not, millions of people suffer and are often plagued by this worry and guilt.
Ingrained patterns of behavior become habits over time and are extremely hard to break. In stressful situation, or situations where we feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable we can easily revert back to those old habits or patterns, even if we have left them behind for many years. So as life changes and hurtles and obstacles are put in our way, we need to change and adapt to them, or we are going to find ourselves unable to make a decision, be overwhelmed with stress over bills and sick with worry about where and how we are going to be pay for whatever it is that we have chosen to do. I know that this might be a little hard to follow, but I believe that once a worrier always a worrier. But I also know from previous experience that no matter how much I have worried and stressed out over situations, I was unable to change the outcome of the choice I had made. I also found that if I am constantly worried over something, I am not able to think of anything but the situation, much less try and figure out a solution to the problem. Sometimes, as the momentary panic had died down and the stress receded a little I found out that the universe or God always provides. Now, I am not saying go out there and get crazy spending large sums of money that you don't have and have no way of paying back. What I am saying is that if you are in a situation and you need or desire something and you are working hard and what you are wanting is not going to immediately cause damage.
Go for it, do what you feel comfortable with and what makes you happy. Even if things get tight for awhile a way will be provided to help you through, we are not left to fend for ourselves. Don't deny yourself things that are necessary, and don't choose to be second rate. Go for what you want, make yourself happy. As I have told you over and over again, life is too short. I don't want you to sweat the small shit in life! Let them pass, they will take care of themselves in the long run. Now, you have to understand that I am talking about small things, necessary items, and so forth. I am not telling you to go out and buy a Ferrari, unless you have the money to make the down payment, and the payments aren't going to cripple you to the point that you cannot take care of any other bill or yourself. Be reasonable, but if it really is something you want then I think you should go for it.
This weekend my father and I went out car shopping, he found a car for $1295.00 he thought that I should buy it. But, it wasn't me, and I knew I wouldn't be happy driving it. I stood my ground and went looking for something more my style and that I would feel comfortable with. I decided to stand my ground and get something that I liked and wanted. Now, I have a car payment and collision insurance, bills that I honestly wasn't wanting or planning on. However, I realized that if I didn't take matters into my own hands and make some sort of decision I was going to end up with car I wasn't comfortable with. Yes, the payments are monthly and that wasn't in my budget either, I was planning on buying a cash car, and making due. But, in the end I wasn't going to be happy at all. So I did what I thought was best. I bought something that I was interested in and I liked, I fretted and worried about the amount of money that I was spending and how much it is going to cost me over the next 2 1/2 years, but I stuck to my guns and got something that I liked.
How many times have you chosen to settle without thinking about your wants, needs and desires? I bet it has been a lot, and you were never really happy with the choice you made. I want you to know that I have been there right with you. As with all things you have to do them in moderation and at small manageable chunks at a time. You have to be willing to think and find a solution, confront your fear that you have over extended yourself and push aside the feeling that you are doomed because you don't know how you are going to cover the added expense. In this situation you have to be open minded and willing to work toward a solution. You aren't the first one that has made a decision that was extremely costly and had to think outside of the box to find a workable solution to the issue at hand.
Have you ever heard the saying " God helps those that help themselves" this is sincerely true. He is not going to let you falter or fall, He doesn't put us in situations that are greater than our ability to confront them and overcome them. Like I said earlier the universe or God will provide. He will make a way for you to come through the situation in a much better and stronger place. Some how and someway that you have never dreamed of the money to cover the situation will come. Seemingly it will come from nowhere, and you will look back at all the posturing and stress and realize that you had made the right decision and that everything will work itself out. You can do this, you can disrupt your pattern of behavior and break the habit, and what seemed so daunting a task will begin to become manageable and you will succeed.
Again, I am not telling you to go out and run up your credit cards, or buy things you want just so you can have them, you need to act moderately and work toward getting them. You have to be willing to work hard and do what you can, because I promise you the rest will come. Don't try to put on airs and live above your means because if you do this, I guarantee you will be continue to struggle, and won't be able to come up with a solution to help you out. Keep the things that you buy down to necessary items, food, housing, transportation, utilities, etc. If you do this I promise you that if you need something really desperately a way will be made for you to have it. Same thing with wanting something, if it truly is something you cannot live without, a way will be provided to help you through the struggle. As I have said before nothing worth doing is ever easy and I mean that.
The reason why I am telling you this is because I want you to understand, that settling for something and making yourself miserable is not going to get you anywhere. Only you can make yourself happy, you have to do for yourself and provide for yourself, no matter how much it hurts you, because a way will be made to help you through. In the example above about the car, I was in desperate need of my own reliable transportation, I was being pushed one way and instead of settling for just old anything, I was determined to get what I want. I know that I am going to be struggling for the next few months till I can get everything back under control, but I know that I am not going to worry about it because God has my back. He isn't going to let me fail, because He alone knows how hard I have been trying to reach this goal. Yes, I will admit that I am a bit worried about the payments and other things because that takes a big chunk out of my disability check. But I know in my heart that if I am short, a way will be provided for me to have what I need to make this work.
Stressing over money is one of the biggest problems we have in this world today. But I am hear to tell you that if you keep the Faith, God will help you and keep you afloat. Be sure to do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do, then just do it. After that God will help you manage it. Remember to always to make yourself happy, don't worry about how other people feel about what you are doing. Remember you can't please everyone all of the time, but you sure can make sure you please yourself.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Even when I was making good money, and doing alright for myself, I would be the last one to order a meal when out for dinner, I would wait and see what everyone else ordered, and then choose something less expensive. This wasn't because I had too, it was because I felt uncomfortable with the expense, and I always feared that I wouldn't be able to afford it. Even when I was in a relationship of 12 years, I sometimes still found myself in that mind frame, and would revert back to my old pattern of behavior. What is worse is that every time I would make a decision about a purchase, I would feel guilty about it. I would second guess myself and begin to worry. This is often referred to as buyers remorse. Believe it or not, millions of people suffer and are often plagued by this worry and guilt.
Ingrained patterns of behavior become habits over time and are extremely hard to break. In stressful situation, or situations where we feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable we can easily revert back to those old habits or patterns, even if we have left them behind for many years. So as life changes and hurtles and obstacles are put in our way, we need to change and adapt to them, or we are going to find ourselves unable to make a decision, be overwhelmed with stress over bills and sick with worry about where and how we are going to be pay for whatever it is that we have chosen to do. I know that this might be a little hard to follow, but I believe that once a worrier always a worrier. But I also know from previous experience that no matter how much I have worried and stressed out over situations, I was unable to change the outcome of the choice I had made. I also found that if I am constantly worried over something, I am not able to think of anything but the situation, much less try and figure out a solution to the problem. Sometimes, as the momentary panic had died down and the stress receded a little I found out that the universe or God always provides. Now, I am not saying go out there and get crazy spending large sums of money that you don't have and have no way of paying back. What I am saying is that if you are in a situation and you need or desire something and you are working hard and what you are wanting is not going to immediately cause damage.
Go for it, do what you feel comfortable with and what makes you happy. Even if things get tight for awhile a way will be provided to help you through, we are not left to fend for ourselves. Don't deny yourself things that are necessary, and don't choose to be second rate. Go for what you want, make yourself happy. As I have told you over and over again, life is too short. I don't want you to sweat the small shit in life! Let them pass, they will take care of themselves in the long run. Now, you have to understand that I am talking about small things, necessary items, and so forth. I am not telling you to go out and buy a Ferrari, unless you have the money to make the down payment, and the payments aren't going to cripple you to the point that you cannot take care of any other bill or yourself. Be reasonable, but if it really is something you want then I think you should go for it.
This weekend my father and I went out car shopping, he found a car for $1295.00 he thought that I should buy it. But, it wasn't me, and I knew I wouldn't be happy driving it. I stood my ground and went looking for something more my style and that I would feel comfortable with. I decided to stand my ground and get something that I liked and wanted. Now, I have a car payment and collision insurance, bills that I honestly wasn't wanting or planning on. However, I realized that if I didn't take matters into my own hands and make some sort of decision I was going to end up with car I wasn't comfortable with. Yes, the payments are monthly and that wasn't in my budget either, I was planning on buying a cash car, and making due. But, in the end I wasn't going to be happy at all. So I did what I thought was best. I bought something that I was interested in and I liked, I fretted and worried about the amount of money that I was spending and how much it is going to cost me over the next 2 1/2 years, but I stuck to my guns and got something that I liked.
How many times have you chosen to settle without thinking about your wants, needs and desires? I bet it has been a lot, and you were never really happy with the choice you made. I want you to know that I have been there right with you. As with all things you have to do them in moderation and at small manageable chunks at a time. You have to be willing to think and find a solution, confront your fear that you have over extended yourself and push aside the feeling that you are doomed because you don't know how you are going to cover the added expense. In this situation you have to be open minded and willing to work toward a solution. You aren't the first one that has made a decision that was extremely costly and had to think outside of the box to find a workable solution to the issue at hand.
Have you ever heard the saying " God helps those that help themselves" this is sincerely true. He is not going to let you falter or fall, He doesn't put us in situations that are greater than our ability to confront them and overcome them. Like I said earlier the universe or God will provide. He will make a way for you to come through the situation in a much better and stronger place. Some how and someway that you have never dreamed of the money to cover the situation will come. Seemingly it will come from nowhere, and you will look back at all the posturing and stress and realize that you had made the right decision and that everything will work itself out. You can do this, you can disrupt your pattern of behavior and break the habit, and what seemed so daunting a task will begin to become manageable and you will succeed.
Again, I am not telling you to go out and run up your credit cards, or buy things you want just so you can have them, you need to act moderately and work toward getting them. You have to be willing to work hard and do what you can, because I promise you the rest will come. Don't try to put on airs and live above your means because if you do this, I guarantee you will be continue to struggle, and won't be able to come up with a solution to help you out. Keep the things that you buy down to necessary items, food, housing, transportation, utilities, etc. If you do this I promise you that if you need something really desperately a way will be made for you to have it. Same thing with wanting something, if it truly is something you cannot live without, a way will be provided to help you through the struggle. As I have said before nothing worth doing is ever easy and I mean that.
The reason why I am telling you this is because I want you to understand, that settling for something and making yourself miserable is not going to get you anywhere. Only you can make yourself happy, you have to do for yourself and provide for yourself, no matter how much it hurts you, because a way will be made to help you through. In the example above about the car, I was in desperate need of my own reliable transportation, I was being pushed one way and instead of settling for just old anything, I was determined to get what I want. I know that I am going to be struggling for the next few months till I can get everything back under control, but I know that I am not going to worry about it because God has my back. He isn't going to let me fail, because He alone knows how hard I have been trying to reach this goal. Yes, I will admit that I am a bit worried about the payments and other things because that takes a big chunk out of my disability check. But I know in my heart that if I am short, a way will be provided for me to have what I need to make this work.
Stressing over money is one of the biggest problems we have in this world today. But I am hear to tell you that if you keep the Faith, God will help you and keep you afloat. Be sure to do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do, then just do it. After that God will help you manage it. Remember to always to make yourself happy, don't worry about how other people feel about what you are doing. Remember you can't please everyone all of the time, but you sure can make sure you please yourself.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
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