I am sure that you have heard somewhere before in your life that everyone has an opinion and they are entitled to it. I have been following a lively debate on Google + over Chick-fil-A, and trust me my opinion hasn't changed at all. It is alright to agree to disagree with someone over their differing opinion. Who is to say that you are right or they are wrong or vice-versa. See, in this country everyone has a right to say what their opinion is, regardless of who it hurts or is insulted by it. But that is okay because you have the right to voice your objections just as strongly. Where the problem comes in if one person is so opinionated that they try to force their beliefs on everyone around them.
It is true that everyone has an opinion, it is further true that sometimes those opinions should be unspoken to the general public, but hey who am I too say? Sometimes a remark can come off as derogatory or even inflammatory, so be careful how you state your case. I am not saying that you should hold in your opinion, unless of course it will get you killed. Like telling the gunman that he is a bully and you aren't going to give him your money. I don't think anyone would do that anyway. I am just recommending that if you have something negative to say couch it in a way where people aren't necessarily going to be offended by it.
One of my defense mechanisms is that I make jokes about people when they do something that bothers me. Most of the time the person I am directing it at has no clue that I am annoyed, and it takes them awhile to figure out that the joke was meant to get them to stop whatever it is. People that have known me for years can tell right off when it is getting bad, and usually try to warn the person off. Because if they don't get it the first or second time, shame on them because when I get to the point I can't stand it anymore I go off like a cannon and I usually tear them apart. Verbally that is, in the gay world they call it reading someone.
Anyhow, there are some people that disagree with some of the things that I write, and that is okay because I expect them too. The purpose of me writing these things is to stir up conversation and to get people to think about the things that are going on around them. I don't care if people see it my way or not. Because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters to me is my own. So yes, I have perfected the right to agree to disagree, because I think it is healthy to talk about things and discuss them, because maybe in the long run both of us are wrong, but unless we explore and talk about it how will we ever know.
So the next time someone says something that catches you off guard, and makes you immediately think "No you are wrong about this", stop a minute don't say anything, listen to their opinion and in a kind manner explain your position. Again, the point is this will save you from an argument, which trust me most of the time they are pointless. Arguments are hard to win because it is almost impossible to persuade someone that what they think is wrong. I am just saying. I have been there and I am one that likes to argue just for arguments sake really. I don't care if I am right or wrong, with some people I automatically take the opposite side, just because I can. There are times when I like to play devil's advocate and chose to word my opinion differently than someone else's and if they aren't quick enough they start to argue, and all I have done is repeat what they have said back to them slightly different, and guess what, an argument breaks out. Until I point out that I agree with them and just had been twisting it around so they couldn't understand it. I know that is mean but it can be a lot of fun.
Anyhow, the point I am trying to make is this, your opinion is neither right nor wrong, it is just your interpretation of something is. Another person's opinion is also neither right or wrong, it is just how they see something. Take the time to fully listen to the other person, don't interrupt or cut them off (because you know that is so annoying to have someone start talking right over what you are saying). Of course I have been known to do that to others, so I cannot condemn anyone for it, just saying it is annoying. Anyhow, if you can come to a point in a discussion to say I agree to disagree with you and leave it at that, neither side gets their feelings truly hurt and an argument may be avoided. Unless you are hanging out with me and I don't let it go...LOL...Just kidding. Anyhow, point is take everything you hear with a grain of salt, and keep what is pertinent and push the other stuff aside, life is too short, to fight over whether you were right or they were.
Anyhow, that is all I really have to say on the subject is that if you really care about people and the person who is talking to you, give them the courtesy of listen to them totally out, and if you want give your own impression, but if you disagree with their position, maybe the better part of valor is to just let it go and chalk it up to the game of life and move on. As I said life is too short and the precious moments we have don't need to be shared in arguments. I would say keep your opinion to yourselves, but that would be falling on deaf ears, especially since I cannot seem to do. But be respectful of another's opinion and give them benefit of the doubt and then just let it go. What can it hurt? right?
Anyhow, this week has been tough been job hunting and trying to update my blog and write entries and then squeeze in doctors on top of all of it. So, just remember your opinion is as right and true as anyone else's and if you want to share them you can, but when someone disagrees, be ready to agree to disagree and let it be.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Showing posts with label face. Show all posts
Showing posts with label face. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Hate, Anger and Regret will consume you.
I was thinking about anger, hate and regrets the other day and how those three things are the formula for revenge. Revenge is all about getting back at someone for hurting you, or having done something to you. The pitfalls of revenge can be found in literary classics like "Moby Dick" and other such important works. The end results are usually the same, a person becomes embroiled and totally consumed by the intense drive and need to execute their revenge. Revenge is pointless, you cannot change the past, and in most cases more hurt is inflicted upon yourself then the person you target. In my blog entry entitled "So What, Who Cares, Get Over it and Move on" I talk about grudges, and revenge is a grudge that has grown out of control and has become an obsession.
It is impossible for anyone to tell you how to change your course, all we can do is try to warn you of the danger you are in. When you blame someone else for something that has happened to you and you forget that it took two of you to be involved in the situation, and that both of you are to blame for what happened. How can you ever get past it? The important thing is to accept responsibility for your role in the situation, come to terms with the fact that both of you made terrible choices, and the end result is that you got hurt. Plot, planning, devising ways to embarrass, punish and victimize the person that hurt you makes you know better than that person. Possibly it makes you worse, because you have taken the time to plan it out, worked hard to execute the plan, and probably tried to get others to side with you against the other person in the process.
I warn you that if you take this path you are going to have to deal with, and live with the consequences of your choices and your actions. Remember that karma is a harsh mistress and she gives back what you dish out, and when she does it is 10 times worse than what you gave to the other person. When you become obsessed with hurting another person and become so intent on exacting your revenge, you are going to destroy your credibility with others, you are going to put all of your friendships and relationships in jeopardy. In the end you are going to end up alone and full of despair. After all is said and done and your revenge has taken place there is going to be nothing left inside of you, you have used up all your hatred and anger and an empty hole remains where there once was pain. Pain is good like I have said before, it lets you know you are alive, and it teaches us how to react in situations and protects us from making the same or similar choices over again.
If you feel nothing but emptiness, what do you think is going to fill the void? Do you think it is going to be love? Understanding? No, it is going to be an all consuming and overwhelming sense of despair, guilt and depression. Then when you look back at all the energy and time that you have wasted, and trust me you are going to see that it was a total waste. You are going to see that it was fruitless, and the joy that you thought you were going to feel watching the other person pay and squirm is going to feel so unrewarding, and by then it is too late. Nothing you can do will take back the actions you have taken. Once you are on that path, how could you possibly feel anything whatsoever?
In most cases the hurt that you experienced at another's hands was probably accidental, not even planned. Even if the pain was because they were talking about you behind your back and lying to everyone around you, accusing you of things you hadn't done. You really need to look at your past actions and see if what they are reacting to, isn't somehow a direct result of something you might have done or said, and what they were doing was to get back at you. See revenge is a nasty two edge sword, and no matter if you started it or reacted to it, it still wounds both you and the person it was intended for. What if once you have searched within yourself and it wasn't brought about by something you have done, take into consideration who it was that was talking about you, maybe you will find that they are jealous of you, or envy you for some reason, or maybe they are just a bitter lonely person who can't stand to see you happy because they aren't.
Understand that I am not saying what they did wasn't wrong, and that your feelings of hurt and betrayal aren't justified, but take it in stride and with a grain of salt. Remember, who said it or did it and if you can't figure out why they did it, I suggest you confront them privately and try to find out. More than likely they are going to deny that they did it, and if that happens you have to determine if they are actually telling the truth and if you can really trust the source from which your information came from. Because often times we get caught up in the "He Said, She Said" bull crap, and eventually find out that we have been played from the start. It is always best to go to the source and confront them and figure out what actually happened or was said. You may find out that they are innocent, or you may find out that they did do it, and what got back to you was taken out of context and made to hurt you, and when you find out what was really said or done, you could find out that it was all a big misunderstanding.
Now, if something has happened and it is immensely damaging and hurtful, you must evaluate the person, their motives, and intentions. Try to figure out what their agenda is. Because I promise you that there are so many people out there that are claiming to be your friends and saying that they care about you, and behind your back they are tearing you apart, undermining everything you are trying to accomplish, and talking about you like you are a dog. These are the types of people that I call "Frienemies", they are all around us, they are opportunist, and they are just trying to get you for whatever they can, and it doesn't matter to them how badly you get hurt. To them you are just an end to the means. If you don't get rid of them from your life they are going to continue to use you till there is nothing left and continue to hurt you.
It is easier to give into the pain and hatred, let the anger build and go after these people, but trust me when I tell you revenge and vengeance isn't any good. Have faith that they are going to get what is coming to them, and they are going to be hurt far worse than you could ever do to them, by their own actions. They are going to find out that they have no real friends and everyone is going to eventually find out what type of person they are and before you know it they are going to be hurting and you didn't have to lift a figure to do anything because they have done it to themselves.
Have pity on them that have hurt you and used you, that have spoken about you and lied on you, because they are so unhappy with their lives, and so insecure with there own standing that they try destroy yours. But, guess what you are better than them. You are going to be stronger then them, and you are going to be blessed far greater than them. So please learn to forgive them for what they have done, understand the type of person they truly are, and let them go. They are not worth you feeling guilty and miserable over. Always keep in the front of your mind how they treated you and what they did to you, so you don't let them do it to you again, also by keeping that fresh in your mind you are going to be aware and ready for the next person that tries to play you and run game on you. Because you know what how they act and operate. So as the saying goes, "Forgive but never forget what they have done".
While you are soul searching to find out why they did what they did, and all that. Honestly take a good hard look at how you judge a person's character, because you may find out just like I did that you are a bad judge of character and your choice of friends leaves a lot to be desired. Learn to be observant, and as I have suggested before come at each encounter with a new person as an open book, be honest with them, don't hide behind your masks, develop a true friendship, test it if you have too, and when you figure out that they are just a player and are trying to run game on you drop them. Because in the long run they are just going to walk all over you, get as much out of you as they can and leave. It is just that simple, they honestly don't care, and because of that they have the most power in your relationship, because you are the one that cares you are the one that is going to get hurt. My friend once sent me a picture that I wanted to post on here that summed up nicely what I was trying to say but I couldn't find it. So I am going to do my best to tell you from my memory. The picture said something like this "When someone in your life is taking more withdrawals then deposits, you will soon find that your account is out of balance, and you are negative, know when to close the account." Like I was saying above, if someone is taking from you more than they are giving your, they are using you, they are not a true friend. Any type of friendship/relationship is supposed to be a partnership a 50/50 breakdown, the two of you should be benefiting each other in some way. Because if that isn't happening then it really isn't a friendship at all. If you continue to let it happen to you, I can guarantee that hard feelings and animosity are going to build up. There is a very thin line between like and dislike and before you know it you are going to be in dislike. I don't use the word hate, because I don't think I have ever found anyone that I disliked so much that I actually hated them. But there are quite a few people out there that have played me and hurt me and I dislike what they did. Now, I cannot fault them entirely because I know that I had my own part to play in the situation, but taking advantage of someone that is trying to help you is wrong no matter how you look at it. It maybe a bit late and after the fact but those people will never get to play me again, because I now know about their agenda, and no matter how hard they will try to convince me otherwise, I know that they don't care about me.
Be wise as you pick your friends, try and hone your skills at being a good judge of character, protect yourself against the players and haters in the world. Make sure you put your interest and goals in front of everyone else's because they aren't going to put yours first. Above all else let go of the hate, anger and regret you feel, don't let it consume you and put you on the path of revenge. Continue to be true to yourself and love everyone like you do. Forgive them that have hurt you and move on, cutting them from your life and letting them figure out how they are going to work someone else because you are through. Keep in mind my motto "So What, Who Cares, Get Over It and Move On" because in the grand scheme of life, they are just a little bump in the road, and when all is said and done they aren't going to be answering for you at Judgement, it is just going to be you alone.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
It is impossible for anyone to tell you how to change your course, all we can do is try to warn you of the danger you are in. When you blame someone else for something that has happened to you and you forget that it took two of you to be involved in the situation, and that both of you are to blame for what happened. How can you ever get past it? The important thing is to accept responsibility for your role in the situation, come to terms with the fact that both of you made terrible choices, and the end result is that you got hurt. Plot, planning, devising ways to embarrass, punish and victimize the person that hurt you makes you know better than that person. Possibly it makes you worse, because you have taken the time to plan it out, worked hard to execute the plan, and probably tried to get others to side with you against the other person in the process.
I warn you that if you take this path you are going to have to deal with, and live with the consequences of your choices and your actions. Remember that karma is a harsh mistress and she gives back what you dish out, and when she does it is 10 times worse than what you gave to the other person. When you become obsessed with hurting another person and become so intent on exacting your revenge, you are going to destroy your credibility with others, you are going to put all of your friendships and relationships in jeopardy. In the end you are going to end up alone and full of despair. After all is said and done and your revenge has taken place there is going to be nothing left inside of you, you have used up all your hatred and anger and an empty hole remains where there once was pain. Pain is good like I have said before, it lets you know you are alive, and it teaches us how to react in situations and protects us from making the same or similar choices over again.
If you feel nothing but emptiness, what do you think is going to fill the void? Do you think it is going to be love? Understanding? No, it is going to be an all consuming and overwhelming sense of despair, guilt and depression. Then when you look back at all the energy and time that you have wasted, and trust me you are going to see that it was a total waste. You are going to see that it was fruitless, and the joy that you thought you were going to feel watching the other person pay and squirm is going to feel so unrewarding, and by then it is too late. Nothing you can do will take back the actions you have taken. Once you are on that path, how could you possibly feel anything whatsoever?
In most cases the hurt that you experienced at another's hands was probably accidental, not even planned. Even if the pain was because they were talking about you behind your back and lying to everyone around you, accusing you of things you hadn't done. You really need to look at your past actions and see if what they are reacting to, isn't somehow a direct result of something you might have done or said, and what they were doing was to get back at you. See revenge is a nasty two edge sword, and no matter if you started it or reacted to it, it still wounds both you and the person it was intended for. What if once you have searched within yourself and it wasn't brought about by something you have done, take into consideration who it was that was talking about you, maybe you will find that they are jealous of you, or envy you for some reason, or maybe they are just a bitter lonely person who can't stand to see you happy because they aren't.
Understand that I am not saying what they did wasn't wrong, and that your feelings of hurt and betrayal aren't justified, but take it in stride and with a grain of salt. Remember, who said it or did it and if you can't figure out why they did it, I suggest you confront them privately and try to find out. More than likely they are going to deny that they did it, and if that happens you have to determine if they are actually telling the truth and if you can really trust the source from which your information came from. Because often times we get caught up in the "He Said, She Said" bull crap, and eventually find out that we have been played from the start. It is always best to go to the source and confront them and figure out what actually happened or was said. You may find out that they are innocent, or you may find out that they did do it, and what got back to you was taken out of context and made to hurt you, and when you find out what was really said or done, you could find out that it was all a big misunderstanding.
Now, if something has happened and it is immensely damaging and hurtful, you must evaluate the person, their motives, and intentions. Try to figure out what their agenda is. Because I promise you that there are so many people out there that are claiming to be your friends and saying that they care about you, and behind your back they are tearing you apart, undermining everything you are trying to accomplish, and talking about you like you are a dog. These are the types of people that I call "Frienemies", they are all around us, they are opportunist, and they are just trying to get you for whatever they can, and it doesn't matter to them how badly you get hurt. To them you are just an end to the means. If you don't get rid of them from your life they are going to continue to use you till there is nothing left and continue to hurt you.
It is easier to give into the pain and hatred, let the anger build and go after these people, but trust me when I tell you revenge and vengeance isn't any good. Have faith that they are going to get what is coming to them, and they are going to be hurt far worse than you could ever do to them, by their own actions. They are going to find out that they have no real friends and everyone is going to eventually find out what type of person they are and before you know it they are going to be hurting and you didn't have to lift a figure to do anything because they have done it to themselves.
Have pity on them that have hurt you and used you, that have spoken about you and lied on you, because they are so unhappy with their lives, and so insecure with there own standing that they try destroy yours. But, guess what you are better than them. You are going to be stronger then them, and you are going to be blessed far greater than them. So please learn to forgive them for what they have done, understand the type of person they truly are, and let them go. They are not worth you feeling guilty and miserable over. Always keep in the front of your mind how they treated you and what they did to you, so you don't let them do it to you again, also by keeping that fresh in your mind you are going to be aware and ready for the next person that tries to play you and run game on you. Because you know what how they act and operate. So as the saying goes, "Forgive but never forget what they have done".
While you are soul searching to find out why they did what they did, and all that. Honestly take a good hard look at how you judge a person's character, because you may find out just like I did that you are a bad judge of character and your choice of friends leaves a lot to be desired. Learn to be observant, and as I have suggested before come at each encounter with a new person as an open book, be honest with them, don't hide behind your masks, develop a true friendship, test it if you have too, and when you figure out that they are just a player and are trying to run game on you drop them. Because in the long run they are just going to walk all over you, get as much out of you as they can and leave. It is just that simple, they honestly don't care, and because of that they have the most power in your relationship, because you are the one that cares you are the one that is going to get hurt. My friend once sent me a picture that I wanted to post on here that summed up nicely what I was trying to say but I couldn't find it. So I am going to do my best to tell you from my memory. The picture said something like this "When someone in your life is taking more withdrawals then deposits, you will soon find that your account is out of balance, and you are negative, know when to close the account." Like I was saying above, if someone is taking from you more than they are giving your, they are using you, they are not a true friend. Any type of friendship/relationship is supposed to be a partnership a 50/50 breakdown, the two of you should be benefiting each other in some way. Because if that isn't happening then it really isn't a friendship at all. If you continue to let it happen to you, I can guarantee that hard feelings and animosity are going to build up. There is a very thin line between like and dislike and before you know it you are going to be in dislike. I don't use the word hate, because I don't think I have ever found anyone that I disliked so much that I actually hated them. But there are quite a few people out there that have played me and hurt me and I dislike what they did. Now, I cannot fault them entirely because I know that I had my own part to play in the situation, but taking advantage of someone that is trying to help you is wrong no matter how you look at it. It maybe a bit late and after the fact but those people will never get to play me again, because I now know about their agenda, and no matter how hard they will try to convince me otherwise, I know that they don't care about me.
Be wise as you pick your friends, try and hone your skills at being a good judge of character, protect yourself against the players and haters in the world. Make sure you put your interest and goals in front of everyone else's because they aren't going to put yours first. Above all else let go of the hate, anger and regret you feel, don't let it consume you and put you on the path of revenge. Continue to be true to yourself and love everyone like you do. Forgive them that have hurt you and move on, cutting them from your life and letting them figure out how they are going to work someone else because you are through. Keep in mind my motto "So What, Who Cares, Get Over It and Move On" because in the grand scheme of life, they are just a little bump in the road, and when all is said and done they aren't going to be answering for you at Judgement, it is just going to be you alone.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Friday, April 27, 2012
Do you ever wonder why people seem to change over time?
When you meet someone new have you ever noticed that they seem to change, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot over time? It is something that I have encountered time after time, with almost all of my friendships and relationships. How do you approach every new encounter with a person? Do you approach each as a long lasting friendship or do you look for something else?
I will tell you that I approach each encounter with the conscious thought that I am building a life long relationship that is going to stand up to the length of time. I have friends from middle school that I still talk to to this day, I have friends from the Navy, College and beyond. But, with each and everyone I have had to overcome the masks that they present to the world. Everyone of us do this to some extent or another. This is the face that we wear out in public, it is what the world see first. These masks help us feel secure and only show the portion of ourselves that we want others to see.
Now, by me saying this I am not saying that this is a bad thing. It isn't, it is our coping mechanism with the world at large. However, when you start to get to know a person truly, you begin to see the real person behind the facade that they present to the world. In order for the relationship to stand up to the rigors of time, we must not only reveal our true selves to the other, but we must come to accept the other for who and what they are. We have to accept their likes, dislikes, and idiosyncrasies. We must love ourselves and must be comfortable enough with ourselves to see and accept ourselves and others. This is not easy to do sometimes, and sometimes it is hard to turn off the mask that we wear.
What ever happened to "What you See is What you get?" Some people have reached a level in their lives that they can incorporate and elaborate on their true inner self and that is the mask that they wear. I learned this a long time ago working for Disney. You are not to ever have a problem, when you are anywhere a Guest can see you, a smile should be on your face. You never let a guest see you upset or down, you never let the magic fade. The mask that I have perfected is that of complete happiness and positive disposition where nothing or no one seems to bother me, I try to never utter a harsh word about someone or criticize too much because that isn't my way. Yet, those who know me and take the chance to get to know the real me the one who hides behind the mask, they find that at times I do have moments of despair, times of depression, I also get overwhelmed at times and I cry sometimes. Yet, my mask that I put out to the world is who I have become, these moments are short in duration and help me to reach out to others and help them with their problems and concerns.
My mask has given me the strength to overcome my pitfalls and weakness. I strive to maintain a positive outlook and I pray constantly for guidance and wisdom. So, what is the point that I am trying to make here?
It should be obvious that the old adage "Never judge a book by it's cover" is what I am trying to emphasize. Don't rely only on first impressions, because the person behind the mask might just be the person you are looking for. You should remember that God brings people into our lives for various purposes. It is my contention that there are 3 types of people that continually flow in and out of our lives. These are Teachers, Students, and Confidants. You may never know until they have left you which one they were....or what combination they were...so if you take the time to get to know everyone on the same basis of building and maintaining a permanent or long standing relationship you will definitely benefit from their wisdom, they might benefit from yours, or you might just find the person who you can always rely and depend upon.
But you have to get past that first initial mask to find the real person hiding inside, and if you are not looking for anything more than a friendship, you will soon find that you can see the real person hiding behind the mask. Take the time and get to know everyone and approach them exactly the same and you will see what I am talking about.
Remember, from friendship comes trust, from trust comes understanding and from understanding love can take root and grow. I have heard it say time and again, that if I get involved with you it will ruin our friendship. What a cop-out that truly is, because guess what if you are friends to start with how can being with someone intimately damage that friendship..you will say when the relationship ends it would ruin the friendship. Well if you have truly built a relationship built on trust, friendship and have really gotten to know the real person why on earth would that relationship end, and if it did for a reason of betrayed trust or other reason, I can tell you that time will heal that wound and you will realize and miss the friend that you had and reconciliation will begin. This is not to say that the intimate relationship can be restored, it is telling you that if you never take the risk and see where it could go, you will never know and you could miss the opportunity God gave you to meet your perfect mate.
Keep an open mind, look behind the mask, get to know the person, develop that friendship and the relationship that follows..it might lead you to your perfect companion and mate or it could bless you with a new best friend. You never know. The future is hidden from us.
I beg you to take a chance. Let your mask go and let the world see the real you...Like me you might find that you aren't too different from the mask you wear. People will see the real you, they will accept you, they will be glad they met you.
Here is an example of what I mean. A friend of mine who I was very close to in high school read my status on Facebook left a comment. First she asked me how do I manage to stay so positive and focused when so many things are happening with me. She then told me that she found our yearbook from 26 years ago and that I was caring and so positive even back then...she told me that I am truly blessed and an inspiration. See the real me the man behind the mask is not so different from the who I truly am...the one slight difference is I don't ever let the whole world see when I am down or hurting, however, those who know me get to see those aspects that I keep hidden. This doesn't weaken my position it actually strengthens me and proves that I am human. But because of the persona I have adopted I never stay down for long and bounce back.
I hope to continue to be an inspiration to others, I hope to live my life as an example of how having a positive outlook and a positive attitude can and will bring more positive energy and blessing in to our daily lives. I pray that you have patience and approach every new encounter in the spirit of love, kindness and friendship, that you can learn from what I have written.
Let me hear from you....I want to hear your thoughts on this....If this truly helps you let me know and if you think I am totally wrong I want to hear it too.
May God Keep you and Bless you....
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I will tell you that I approach each encounter with the conscious thought that I am building a life long relationship that is going to stand up to the length of time. I have friends from middle school that I still talk to to this day, I have friends from the Navy, College and beyond. But, with each and everyone I have had to overcome the masks that they present to the world. Everyone of us do this to some extent or another. This is the face that we wear out in public, it is what the world see first. These masks help us feel secure and only show the portion of ourselves that we want others to see.
Now, by me saying this I am not saying that this is a bad thing. It isn't, it is our coping mechanism with the world at large. However, when you start to get to know a person truly, you begin to see the real person behind the facade that they present to the world. In order for the relationship to stand up to the rigors of time, we must not only reveal our true selves to the other, but we must come to accept the other for who and what they are. We have to accept their likes, dislikes, and idiosyncrasies. We must love ourselves and must be comfortable enough with ourselves to see and accept ourselves and others. This is not easy to do sometimes, and sometimes it is hard to turn off the mask that we wear.
What ever happened to "What you See is What you get?" Some people have reached a level in their lives that they can incorporate and elaborate on their true inner self and that is the mask that they wear. I learned this a long time ago working for Disney. You are not to ever have a problem, when you are anywhere a Guest can see you, a smile should be on your face. You never let a guest see you upset or down, you never let the magic fade. The mask that I have perfected is that of complete happiness and positive disposition where nothing or no one seems to bother me, I try to never utter a harsh word about someone or criticize too much because that isn't my way. Yet, those who know me and take the chance to get to know the real me the one who hides behind the mask, they find that at times I do have moments of despair, times of depression, I also get overwhelmed at times and I cry sometimes. Yet, my mask that I put out to the world is who I have become, these moments are short in duration and help me to reach out to others and help them with their problems and concerns.
My mask has given me the strength to overcome my pitfalls and weakness. I strive to maintain a positive outlook and I pray constantly for guidance and wisdom. So, what is the point that I am trying to make here?
It should be obvious that the old adage "Never judge a book by it's cover" is what I am trying to emphasize. Don't rely only on first impressions, because the person behind the mask might just be the person you are looking for. You should remember that God brings people into our lives for various purposes. It is my contention that there are 3 types of people that continually flow in and out of our lives. These are Teachers, Students, and Confidants. You may never know until they have left you which one they were....or what combination they were...so if you take the time to get to know everyone on the same basis of building and maintaining a permanent or long standing relationship you will definitely benefit from their wisdom, they might benefit from yours, or you might just find the person who you can always rely and depend upon.
But you have to get past that first initial mask to find the real person hiding inside, and if you are not looking for anything more than a friendship, you will soon find that you can see the real person hiding behind the mask. Take the time and get to know everyone and approach them exactly the same and you will see what I am talking about.
Remember, from friendship comes trust, from trust comes understanding and from understanding love can take root and grow. I have heard it say time and again, that if I get involved with you it will ruin our friendship. What a cop-out that truly is, because guess what if you are friends to start with how can being with someone intimately damage that friendship..you will say when the relationship ends it would ruin the friendship. Well if you have truly built a relationship built on trust, friendship and have really gotten to know the real person why on earth would that relationship end, and if it did for a reason of betrayed trust or other reason, I can tell you that time will heal that wound and you will realize and miss the friend that you had and reconciliation will begin. This is not to say that the intimate relationship can be restored, it is telling you that if you never take the risk and see where it could go, you will never know and you could miss the opportunity God gave you to meet your perfect mate.
Keep an open mind, look behind the mask, get to know the person, develop that friendship and the relationship that follows..it might lead you to your perfect companion and mate or it could bless you with a new best friend. You never know. The future is hidden from us.
I beg you to take a chance. Let your mask go and let the world see the real you...Like me you might find that you aren't too different from the mask you wear. People will see the real you, they will accept you, they will be glad they met you.
Here is an example of what I mean. A friend of mine who I was very close to in high school read my status on Facebook left a comment. First she asked me how do I manage to stay so positive and focused when so many things are happening with me. She then told me that she found our yearbook from 26 years ago and that I was caring and so positive even back then...she told me that I am truly blessed and an inspiration. See the real me the man behind the mask is not so different from the who I truly am...the one slight difference is I don't ever let the whole world see when I am down or hurting, however, those who know me get to see those aspects that I keep hidden. This doesn't weaken my position it actually strengthens me and proves that I am human. But because of the persona I have adopted I never stay down for long and bounce back.
I hope to continue to be an inspiration to others, I hope to live my life as an example of how having a positive outlook and a positive attitude can and will bring more positive energy and blessing in to our daily lives. I pray that you have patience and approach every new encounter in the spirit of love, kindness and friendship, that you can learn from what I have written.
Let me hear from you....I want to hear your thoughts on this....If this truly helps you let me know and if you think I am totally wrong I want to hear it too.
May God Keep you and Bless you....
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
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