The Easter Weekend Holiday's

For those of us with Faith the Easter Holiday's are a time of reflection and rejoicing because from tragedy and betrayal comes rebirth, redemption and grace.  But more on that in a bit, it isn't surprising that Easter falls during the lasts weeks of March or the first Weeks of April depending on the leap year and how the calendar falls.  Before Jesus trial, execution and entombment and subsequent resurrection the earlier religions and faith's held spring rituals to usher in the new spring growth and the fertility of the land.  This custom varied in times and dates as well sometimes it would be held in April or as late as May 1.  It was also the annual time of year that the populace would come together in towns, villages, and cities. As the warm spring air denoted the earths return from it's dormant period and prior to the new years crops being sown in the fields, celebrations of life and birth could be found everywhere.  Spring is when these ancestors of ours would become betrothed and marriages performed and before the fall a new crop of children would be born.  Thus, was the world in ancient times.  Today life moves at a much faster pace, and people are waiting later in years to get married and some decide not to get tied down like that.  Putting their careers before family, and lets face it in today's world divorces are happening much faster than marriages are these days.

Yes, the earth goes through a long dormant season and when spring burst forth in the land and new growth can be seen and warmer temperatures arrive, we all feel more invigorated and full of life.  We do our spring cleaning and we get out in the warmer temperatures and explore the wonders of nature.  It is a busy time for farmers, because now work has to begin in earnest if they hope to get their crops planted in time. Fields must be plowed and soil fertilized and livestock must be moved to better pastures. It is also the time when we see life coming back to the land, birds returning from their southern homes and wondrous new birth of our woodland friends.  Every year the earth goes through this ritual and the endless circle of life continues.  In our modern world though it is almost as if the world awakes from a deep grey slumber that has held the land in hibernation and our moods in a dismal space that is hard for us to break through.  Of course we have just come through our Holiday traditions that ultimately begin with Halloween and end with the celebration of New Year, but from that time on we look forward to the first rays of spring with the hope that we will make it through the rest of the hard winter and get to once again have time off.   See much of the world has to toil and labor daily with only brief breaks in that endless drone of days in our established and practiced holidays.  So from Jan 1 to end of March there are no breaks for those in school or who work for a living. But as spring burst forth on the world hope looks forward to the time when we can once again have another break and spend it however we see fit, this has become known as Spring Break.  Which is celebrated across our nation and vary from school to school and also varies as to if you are in grade school or college.

Spring break has become a national tradition here in the U.S. and has made places famous for the millions of teenagers and students that flock to these destinations to celebrate the beginning of spring.  Places like Daytona Beach, South Beach, Pensacola, Miami and of course all over the west coast and far and wide in between.  Spring break has become major business and has brought billions of tourist dollars into communities all across the nation.  But to my dismay our religious holiday has once again become corrupted by the populace and has turned into a moneymaking and money driven beast and it just increases year after year.  Just look at how fast stores put up Christmas decorations now a days.  Industry and merchandising use these holiday's to pressure us into parting with that hard earned dollar that we struggle so hard to make and work all those extra hours to try and save.  Yet, before we know it everything saved has been spent on and around the holidays.  So what am I wanting you to take away from this entry is that the holiday is that the holiday isn't for going out and partying with your friends and spending all the money you have been working so hard to save.  It is supposed to be a religious holiday a time of reflection and give us time to break from our mundane worlds and for that brief period of time share reverence and fellowship with members of our own faith.

Do you know what the Easter Holiday is supposed to represent?  It represents just how fickle the people of the world can really become and how fear and prejudice can turn an adoring populace into a blood thirsty mob.  I am pretty sure most of you have heard the Story of Jesus Christ and His life on Earth.  But, I would like to remind you that our Lord and Savior just one week prior rode into Jerusalem to the cheering of the crowd and the laying of palm branches before his entry.  We call this Palm Sunday and it was foretold by the prophet Zechariah of Jesus's entry into Jerusalem.  Remember that even as He rode in to a cheering crowd Jesus was already aware of His fate and continued on into the city and did His Father's work.  Thus, on that following Thursday Jesus has His last supper with his disciples and then awaits in the Garden of Gethsemane for arrest.  From the wee hours of morning on Friday Jesus was to go through 6 trials and be tortured and ridiculed throughout by the very people He had come to witness to and turn them from their ways.  But, no the religious leaders and the very members of the church ultimately passed the buck and asked that the Roman Government do away with this heretic and blasphemer as they called him.  Remember when Jesus gave the sermon on Mount Olives He called the leaders of the church hypocrites and vipers, These men would not forget the slights they had heard from Jesus and so they beseeched Pilate the Roman governor to try Him.  Yet Pontius Pilate could find no guilt in Jesus and wanted to return free Him.  The religious leaders call together were called the Sanhedrin would not accept Pilate's rule and forced him to take Jesus to trial before Herod Antipas, but because Jesus refused to talk Herod return Him to Pilate.  Jesus by this time had been beaten repeated, abused in so many ways physically and mentally as well as emotionally, but Pilate repeatedly tried to return Jesus to the people having Him beaten to beyond recognition to try and satisfy the selfish whims of the church leaders.  They would not hear of it and so Jesus was forced to carry His own cross, wear a crown of thorns pushed down on his head and beaten all the way from Jerusalem to the hill of Galgatha, where even as the nails were driven into His hands and feet the soldiers gambled for His clothes, cursed Him and spit upon Him and still as He was raised up on that cross between 2 condemned thieves, He cried out "Forgive them for they know not what they do".  Even then Jesus still looked upon those who just a week before praised Him and rejoiced in His coming to Jerusalem, with compassion and understanding.

Before the execution was complete more atrocities were to befall Jesus, His side would be ruptured by a legionnaires spear, shouts and insults would be hurled and He was forced to drink vinegar and hyssop which would only increase His thirst and agony as He hung there.  Jesus' trial, torture and execution were drawn out from Midnight Thursday night/Friday morning to Noon.  The next 3 hours the populace stood around and watched as He hung there on that cross, and it was right before 3pm that Friday afternoon that Jesus lifted up His head and cried out in such anguish and pain "My God, My God why hast thou forsaken Me" and in those final moments the cloudy afternoon sky parted and a ray of golden sunlight broke through the heavens and shone upon His face and a white dove was seen to alight from a bush startling several of the roman guards and it flew directly over the 3 crosses that stood upon Galgotha's Hill.

Why have I shared this with you?  Because I want to turn you away from the Easter Bunny, the baskets, the coloring of eggs and remind you of the true miracles that took place over this weekend and what it signifies to me and my faith.  Jesus knew His fate, the time and hour of His death before ever entering into the city.  He would preach to those that gathered around him on Tuesday morning on the steps of the temple and tell that He would be arrested and put to death.  Yet, through it all He stayed and did what was expected and required of Him.  Men and women have always feared death since the time of Adam and Eve, for knowing that death was to come to them was one of the many truths learned when they ate of the forbidden fruit, yet He remarkably accepted His fate, and only once did He ask the Father to change it and that was while He waited and prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.  This is very significant to our walk of Faith for we should be fearless because through the sacrifice of Jesus, death has no hold over us any longer.  What else would I like you to know?  That He forgave those that persecuted, tried Him, condemned Him, and eventually killed Him.  But He didn't stop there, He heard the confession of the thief that hung next to Him and forgave Him too.  "He spoke that I will go there and prepare a place for you also".  So compassion, forgiveness and sorrow are traits that we as Christians should strive to emulate and share to the world around us.  But even more than that I would like to explain to you my belief as to why Jesus cried out in those final heartrending moments of His life "Why has thou forsaken Me?" In that instant Jesus felt the Father's gaze turn away from Him and He was troubled.  But in that moment it was not weakness, it was not fear, it was the acceptance of sin into Him and upon Him, for He was blameless and pure.  He took on our sins, now and forever, He became our sacrifice, He became the bridged that crossed the divide that resulted from Original Sin.  God could not look upon sin and took His eyes off of Jesus so that the promise of sacrifice could be fulfilled and the gap forever bridged.  Jesus became the intercessor.

But here are some other interesting things that you may not know that is significant about the Crucifixion of Jesus.  That golden beam of light that broke through the clouds and the white dove are both significant as well as the loud clap of thunder that took place as Jesus took His last breath.  The three things taken together are very significant indeed.  They mark the promise that God made to Abraham.  They also mark the end of being saved by Law.  Up until that point man was still under the law and yearly sacrifices had to be made and the high priest was the only one that could intercede on our behalf before God.  For you see the temple veil was torn in two, this veil separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the temple and it was where God Himself resided on Earth in the temple.  Only the high priest was allowed to enter.  Thus it marked the old testament and as such we are no longer bound by the law, for we are no saved by grace.  Jesus' teachings if heeded give us all the necessary ingredients we need to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  He only gave some very simple to follow rules and guidelines to follow.  So why is it so hard for today's Christians to get it together?  Why is there so much separation and strife within the Church?

In all of the teachings of Jesus, He stressed love for fellow man and to be accepting and forgiving.  Now many Bible scholar's believe that there are quite a few commandments given by Jesus throughout His ministry.  Yet, some of what these scholars deem as commandments are actually Jesus laying out the foundations for a whole new church that was not based on the original ten commandments that are in the Old Testament.  When Jesus was asked which is the greatest commandment Jesus replied " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second Is love your neighbor as yourself." Jesus stated that "all the law and the prophets hand on these two commandments." This can be found in Matthew 22:36-40). I hope you realize that this is my interpretation and I did not write the versus directly as they appear in the Bible.  I also find that the Golden Rule pretty much summarized the statements above.   For those of you that don't know the golden rule it can be found in Matthew 7:12 and it goes like this "Do unto others what you would have then do unto you",again not the entire verse, but the meaning has not been altered.  Jesus said "children obey your parents so that your days upon the earth may be many" and "go out and be fishers of men." and  "I am the way the truth and the light no man may come before the Father without me."  To me this sums up what is now expected of us.  Again, Bible scholars list quite a few more, but they are self explanatory and show a stark difference from the original ten commandments.

Jesus wants us to love and honor one another, to build up and not tear down each other.  Our reward is not here on earth but when we get to heaven.  Life is our proving ground and as a believer we should strive daily to live our life as Jesus did.  None of us are perfect and we must pick ourselves up and rebuke sin and our wicked self daily.

Easter to me is about remembering the sacrifice of our Savior, and it is a celebration of His life, His teaching and His death and Resurrection.  It shouldn't be another merchant corrupted holiday that is carefully crafted with bunnies, baskets and eggs.  We should remember that through Grace we are saved and sanctified with salvation.  For without the blood shed by Jesus on that cross the great divide that existed between God and man caused by eating of the forbidden fruit wouldn't have been bridged.

This is the time for us to reach out to our fellow man with a hand of love and compassion, to give of ourselves and turn away from vengence.  We are to hate the sin and love the person, our greatest gift we can give to those around us is compassion and love.  How much better a place the world would be if it was full of love.  That we could break the bigotry and hate that is so prevalent today.  Beware of any church or organizations that teach divisiveness and intolerance.  Who ostracize others because the are different in some way or don't believe the way they do for this is not the teachings of my Lord and Savior.

So as I leave you tonight I would like to remind you that each and everyone of us was created in the image of God, but we are human and we make mistakes.  How we handle and come back from those mistakes makes us unique and stronger.  Each of us has within us the capacity to do great good or great evil and the line between the two is very thin indeed.  So, appreciate those that love and care for you, pray for those that don't and be ever vigilant.  Love often and completely, you will be amazed at how much love you get in return.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Unresolved feelings can lead to bitterness and resentment

We may have talked about this before, and if we did, I believe that it is time for a refresher.  I went to my psychiatrist this morning and we talked about quite a few items.  One was the fact that I am suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and that I could use some more counseling to help me deal with the issues surrounding that.  I also expressed to her that I had a desire to work on relationships, boundaries, and better interpersonal skills, specifically in the area of being a better judge of character.

During our conversation, we discussed the importance of forgiveness, and the releasing of our inner feelings.  Because none of us is perfect and can never hope to achieve perfection, we have to settle for being just a work in progress.  I mentioned to her that I learned over the past couple of years that forgiveness isn't for the other person it is for us. It gives us a sense of closure and helps us release the feelings that we had been harboring towards that person.  Unresolved feelings that we harbor towards another can lead to resentment, anger and bitterness towards that person.  If you cannot release and let go of what was bothering you, can you honestly move forward?  Can you talk to the person civilly or will there be outburst of some sort?

I have learned over and over again that if you are wanting to change something you have to learn how to release the burdens, problems, pain and anger that might be holding you back.  It is true that we all come with baggage, but how we cope with that baggage determines our ability to move forward.  Remember that you have to let go of the past in order to move forward. Therefore, when you release the past you must release all the pent-up emotions that go with the incident. Yet, once again in order for you to achieve this you have to start with yourself.

All change must start with yourself, forgiveness starts from with-in, and if you don't release the feelings that reside in you at the same time, you could start to get bitter and develop resentment, which left unchecked could turn into hate.  Like I discussed with you in another article bottling up your emotions causes undue stress in your life,   You could blow up at the least little thing and at the wrong person. I also told you that it is impossible to move forward if we hold on to the baggage of the past.  You cannot carry anything new if you have all the old stuff hanging around you.

Let me give you a real life example of what I am trying to explain to you about moving forward. Let's say you are on a date with someone.  If you talk exclusively about your last relationship the person you on a date with probably will think that you aren't over your ex and aren't ready to move on.  See, you haven't let go, or resolved your past, and therefore you cannot move forward, your hands are  still full. Once you can find closure with the trauma of the past, you must still deal with the emotions that thinking about the issues bring up. If you don't you can never move past the place where you are at.

If you learn to let go of the small things and just focus on the big ones you might be able to successfully navigate the treacherous waters of life.  No one said that it was going to be easy, that you wouldn't have to work hard to make it through?  If you worry about every little thing that creeps up in your life you will never have the chance to move forward, and you will soon become frustrated and willing to give up and surrender, and my motto is never give up, never surrender! I also believe that we cherish and adore the things that we had to work the hardest for,

Remember that nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could.  All this means is that without hard work and dedication nothing can be accomplished, because we have to put forth some type of effort in order for you to collect a return.  The formula actually works out like this mathematically effort x work = positive return.

So my dear readers, you must let go of the past to take that step forward, and you must forgive those who have done you wrong and hurt you, you must forgive yourself and gain the closure you need to move on, and release those burdens of the past so that you can receive the new blessings that are coming your way.  Remember you can't move forward with your hands full of your past deeds. Gaining the closure that you need to move on is the hardest thing in the world to achieve, however as I have found if you can forgive yourself and those around you that have caused you the pain, those cares and problems fall away like they never existed.  A feeling of total peace will come over you and you will have the strength you need to move on.

Remember always that my hopes and dreams are with you, so take care of yourself and we will see each other on the flip side.

Uncle B

Remorse and Regret Can Be Overcome By Helping Others!

Do you feel remorse and regret for an situation or action that occurred but there is no way you can go back and make it up to the person that was hurt?  Do you suffer from guilt and anxiety over not being able to make it up to the person that was hurt?  If you do, then I want you to try something, now this is not an original idea I got it from the movie "Pay It Forward" but I think it is an excellent way to help you deal with those feelings and maybe in some small way get the closure you need to let those emotions go finally.  Because trust me when I tell you, if there is nothing you can do, and you can't actually find or get in touch with the person who you have wronged or hurt, then those emotions are useless and are only holding you back and hurting you.  With that in mind if there is a way that you can get in touch with the other person, then I think you should contact them and tell them that you are sorry, give them a heartfelt apology and let those feeling finally move on.  Don't try to reopen the wounds by giving a halfhearted apology with excuses and rationalizations attached, because that is just going to make the situation much worse.  You would have been better off just living with the guilt, remorse, regret and anxiety. 

Each of us searches for closure for all painful things in our lives.  Sometimes it is because a relationship went horribly wrong, and both of you got hurt, or if there was some kind of altercation in your life and you parted friends with someone and ugly hateful words were said, or heaven forbid some sort of accident occurred and someone was seriously injured or hurt. Maybe a parent or loved one died and you had a fight and never got the chance to make up or they died suddenly and you never got the chance to say goodbye, whatever the reason, it is true there are times when we need closure but can't find it or get it for whatever the reason. When this happens feelings of regret and remorse can overwhelm us, followed closely by guilt and anxiety, which if left untreated, can lead to severe depression.

Closure is a way of moving past those old hurts and pains and move forward, either with the person or without. Sometimes closure brings answers to unanswered questions or provides explanations for why certain things happened as they did.  However, as I have said earlier sometimes closure isn't possible for one reason or another.  Sometimes closure can occur over time, however the questions still remain.  One thing is for sure that if you cannot find or talk to the other person closure may or may not be possible.  Sometimes asking for forgiveness or apologizing brings closure and sometimes it doesn't.  But, I want you to keep in mind that forgiveness is for you and you alone, even if someone does say that they forgive you, it doesn't really help them out.  It is for you. You are the one that is going to feel better in the end.  However, just like with closure and moving on, forgiveness may not be able to be had.

But there might be a way for you to use the emotions of regret, remorse, guilt and anxiety to help someone else out.  In other words "paying it forward", doing something to help others might actually get your mind off the issue that you are seeking closure for.  Now it will not answer the questions you might have or assuage all of your feelings that you are experiencing, but it will bring you some relief.  You may not be able to make it right with the person you have wronged but you can make it up to someone, and by doing that you are paying it forward, and if everyone did that the world would be a kinder and lighter place.  There would be less fighting and more understanding and friendships.  I for one have friends that I have known my whole life, and I take those friendships very seriously.  Now I can't say that there haven't been arguments and misunderstandings. That we haven't fought and stopped talking at times for awhile, but what I can say is that no matter what the issue or the problem we eventually always come back together and work it out.  If everyone did that, don't you think there would be less pain and animosity in the world.

Every time I meet a new person I enter into that relationship and cultivate it for longevity. I am not interested in just meeting you and making your acquaintance, I am interested in being a life long friend. Someone you can count on and trust. But I am also hoping to make the world a better place, and I think that by cultivating friendships and understanding how people are will go a long way toward making the world a brighter and safer and better place.  My definition of friend is that I accept you as you are.  I take you at face value, and I truly embrace your uniqueness and your differences and accept all of you. I can't like you and not accept you I am just not built that way.  I know that the human heart has the greatest capacity for unconditional love and acceptance.  It also has the greatest capacity to forgive, but once wounded it doesn't forget the pain.  It can move on get past it and work through the issue, but it doesn't forget the pain or the hurt that has been done to it.  As a matter of fact I was discussing this with a new friend just last night. See, I know that the human heart has the greatest capacity to love, and when it loves it loves hard, it is possible to love countless people. You love and care about your parents, your siblings and others that you have had relationships with in the past.  The love you have for your family is unconditional love, no matter what they do, they are your family and you care about them and will try your best to put them first, it goes the same with your friends.  Unconditional means total and uncompromising acceptance, willingness to overlook or accept and embrace their flaws as well as their virtues.  

The reason why I am bringing this up is that it is the heart that allows us to move on and find closure in actions, words and deeds.  They don't necessarily have to be from the person that hurt you or you were hurt by.  The heart is amazing in it's ability to forgive, move on, and find closure. It also finds inspiration in the smallest things and can make you happy even in the midst of your darkest hour.  With that in mind I honestly believe that by helping others that are in need might be just what you need to assuage your feelings of remorse and regret, as long as you are of pure intention and not looking for anything back in return.  Trust me when I tell you the feelings of joy and satisfaction will overpower and replace the feelings of regret and remorse you were feeling.  You can take a sense of pride that you are in a small way doing your part in making the world a better and safer place to live in. That you are creating an atmosphere of love, tolerance and acceptance that will continue to perpetuate through the many lives that you touch.  I have told you over and over again that the you never know where a casual encounter will take you, how your reaching out you hand in friendship and caring to another, might take them.  How a simple act of kindness may be all that is standing between a person and suicide.  Life has a funny way of taking our efforts and making them so much more than what they started out as.  Think of your act of kindness as a pebble falling into a lake, the ripples that is caused by that pebble start out small and expand the further out it travels.  One simple act can affect so many more people than you ever realize.  

Just remember the advice that my grandfather gave me.  A man doesn't leave his mark on the world by how many possessions he has or how much money he makes, but by how many lives he touches and how many people remember him after he is gone.  It is my hope that out of the thousands of people who I have helped and lives I have touched will remember me for the kindness and love that I have for them, and remember that someone once helped them when they needed it and will do the same for someone else.  I have been told by several people recently that they find inspiration in me just by the way I live and how I handle dealing with all the issues and problems that I have.  That statement alone proves to me that even the least deed that we do can have far reaching affects, we never know who is watching us and getting inspiration from our daily life. How many others are changed and helped by the example that demonstrate in your daily life.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Here's the thing about Love!

Over the past few days the topic of love has been brought up to me by several people.  One of my best friends in Ft. Lauderdale has been going through some stuff with his boyfriend and has begun to question his idea of love. Even I have been questioning it a great deal lately, because the person I am interested in has been MIA (missing in action).  Then there is my friend Tony in Atlanta that I have been thinking about and the conversations we had while I was visiting up there last month.  All of these discussions have prompted me to look a little closer at love, and what I really know about it.

See I am not a typical gay person, until recently I have always been in a long term relationships.  In a way I have been in one relationship after another for the first 30 years of my life.  After my relationship with Joe ended I seem to have had a series of short term relationships ranging from a couple of months to three years, but even though I have been in relationships and been with men all of my life, I wonder if I have ever truly been in love.

See, love is suppose to make things easy between two people and bring them from separate individuals into a couple.  It is supposed to make them stronger, bring them closer together, unite them.  When two people are truly in love with one another it is almost like a drug, they are intoxicated by each others presence and hate to be alone.  The couple ignore the flaws and faults of the other, they accept them for themselves. They enjoy spending time together and talking about everything. There are no secrets between them and they trust each other completely.  They want only the best for their partner and wish them good fortune and happiness at every turn.  They love doing little things and creating surprises, they bring out the best in each other and push them to reach their limits. Love creates a patient understanding between the two of them and conflict is less because they fit together so well.

Since I have been in good relationships and bad relationships and have stayed with people way longer than I should have, I think I have a good handle on what relationships entail.  But, still I wonder if any of the relationships I have been in really were based on love, or were they more a partnership?  Or a joining of forces to reach the next level or step in life? To be honest, I think that maybe the reason why those relationships of the past didn't last forever was because they weren't based on love, but more a joining of partners like a business partnership.  Maybe I am still waiting for the right person to come along, my soulmate so to speak.  Who honestly knows at this point!

This is what I know about love: Love is kind, considerate, never boastful, it is trusting, full of compassion and understanding, it is patient and kind, giving and most of all it is forgiving.  Love allows us to accept ourselves and others, including their likes, dislikes, their goodness and their faults.  Love is never envious, it is always gentle, yet when it needs to be it can be firm.  Love doesn't judge or find fault, it is unconditionally given and is always greatest when it is shared. Love is a seed that is planted, tended patiently and blooms with spectacular colors and passions. It unites us and binds us, it gives us hope for the future, and strength to overcome any obstacle.  Love has the ability to span time and distance, bridge gaps in cultures, ethnicities and social barriers. Yet love also blinds us to the frailties of the spirit, but uplifts us and gives us the ability to overcome disabilities, limitations and stigmas.

Love isn't hard, it doesn't hurt and if it does there is something extremely wrong.  Love unites, never separates, it doesn't thrive in strife and anger, it withers and grows thorns.  There is a fine line between love and hate they say and if your aren't careful you can cross that line.  Yet, somehow I don't believe that is honestly true, because if there is love in your heart, and you look through compassionate eyes, there can be no hate. Love counters hate, it is a light that guides us, it is what make a house feel like home, it makes our partner feel like part of us, that where one of us ends the other begins, it is a circle and the ring that is used to symbolize love and the union of a couple is symbolic of the circle.  You can forgive anything through love, but you should never forget, because forgetting could possibly lead to you to make the same mistakes again.

What I am trying to say is this, if you find yourself questioning the one you love, look at the circumstances that you find yourselves in.  Maybe it isn't the person that you are doubting, but the actions and choices that have brought you to that point.  Only you can know what is in your heart and mind, and if you aren't honest with yourself you can never truly be honest with your partner. That my friend isn't love, it is a deception, a lie that you tell yourself so you can sleep at night.  See, we can never truly know what another is thinking, their motivations, the forces that are acting upon them, the deceit and deceptions they are playing on themselves and you. But, what we can see and feel is their heart, their intentions may be hidden from us, but their heart is what will give them away, because the actions that follow will be clear.  I keep telling others that actions speak louder than words, that the small things you do for each other give clues to the seriousness of their love.  See, it is the little things that make it all worthwhile, the little note in their lunch that says "I love You". The unexpected surprise gift, the little note left on the mirror that tells them to smile.  The little romantic gestures that seem silly and mundane to the rest of the world but mean so much to you and your partner, those are the tell tale signs of love.

Anyone can utter the words I love you, but do their actions, eyes, and heart show that they do?  That is only something you can find out and answer. There really is someone out there for everyone, and we have to find that person, make the connection and when you do it will be awesome and everything you dreamed of.  You will know in your heart that they are the one. I don't know how, but I know it is true. I have seen people in love, and felt the warmth radiate from them, I have noticed the gleam in their eye, and I have felt the joy and happiness that they contain, so yes my friends I know that love exists. It isn't some chemical balance that is released into your bloodstream.  It is a connection of the soul a binding of the spirit, it is so much more than just two people coming together and muttering words of love.  Those types of relationships tend to fail.  Love comes from really knowing someone, trusting them completely, it isn't something that just happens, it is a deep an inner connection that grows over time.

Don't fret my friend if you haven't gotten there yet, it will come, just be patient.  Oh and one more thing, the strongest and most lasting relationships usually start out as friendships.  So don't be fooled when someone tells you they care about you, but they don't want to ruin the friendship, because guess what if that is what they think then they aren't the right one.  Because anyone knows that you can't ever truly ruin a friendship, you can make it stronger with love, but see friendships are everlasting, they also require work, but a friend gets over the pain of mistakes and they can work through anything.  I have had several blowouts with some of my best friends over the years and I can honestly tell you that no matter what time has healed those wounds and we have always managed to work through our issues and problems and have always come back together. So take it from me, you may have found your love, they could be one of your friends and you both just don't know it yet, because like I said earlier it is a seed that once planted takes time to grow, and when it does you will definitely know.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

The August 1st Full Moon

Tonight I looked up in the sky and I saw that the moon had risen full and bright
so I sat down under it's light to write a poem that would delight.
Here is my poem I hope you enjoy
Like a kid with a new toy:

Moon Light This August Night:
by Bryan Zepp II

Bright and shiny moon
In the starry sky you loom
above the breeze I can hear the ocean boom
as your light fills my room.

On this first August night
I wonder at your light so bright
and stand in awe of your might
I wish your face could quell my fright.

On the breeze I feel the change
coming from a distant range
my future to rearrange
how I wish I alone would change.

Sitting here beneath your glow
I wish my future you would show
grant me peace and let me know
the path or road on which to go.

My pain is finally near and end
I long to hear your voice my friend
to guide my journey around each bend,
to make it through and cause my heart to mend.

I miss your smile and warm embrace
how I long to see your face
to hold you tight and feel your loving grace,
But thank God your aren't in this place.

Because I feel so alone
and I am weary to the bone,
I couldn't bear to hear you moan.
Oh, I wish your strength you could loan.

For I am lost under the moon
trapped in my lonely room
how bright the light that filters down
that makes the day to night as the world goes round

Oh beautiful and bright moon light
Hear my plea this very night,
to help me find my way and keep my path alright?
So I can face my fright
and keep my head upright!

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Hate, Anger and Regret will consume you.

I was thinking about anger, hate and regrets the other day and how those three things are the formula for revenge.  Revenge is all about getting back at someone for hurting you, or having done something to you. The pitfalls of revenge can be found in literary classics like "Moby Dick" and other such important works.  The end results are usually the same, a person becomes embroiled and totally consumed by the intense drive and need to execute their revenge.  Revenge is pointless, you cannot change the past, and in most cases more hurt is inflicted upon yourself then the person you target.  In my blog entry entitled "So What, Who Cares, Get Over it and Move on" I talk about grudges, and revenge is a grudge that has grown out of control and has become an obsession.

It is impossible for anyone to tell you how to change your course, all we can do is try to warn you of the danger you are in. When you blame someone else for something that has happened to you and you forget that it took two of you to be involved in the situation, and that both of you are to blame for what happened. How can you ever get past it?  The important thing is to accept responsibility for your role in the situation, come to terms with the fact that both of you made terrible choices, and the end result is that you got hurt.  Plot, planning, devising ways to embarrass, punish and victimize the person that hurt you makes you know better than that person.  Possibly it makes you worse, because you have taken the time to plan it out, worked hard to execute the plan, and probably tried to get others to side with you against the other person in the process.

I warn you that if you take this path you are going to have to deal with, and live with the consequences of your choices and your actions.  Remember that karma is a harsh mistress and she gives back what you dish out, and when she does it is 10 times worse than what you gave to the other person.  When you become obsessed with hurting another person and become so intent on exacting your revenge, you are going to destroy your credibility with others, you are going to put all of your friendships and relationships in jeopardy.  In the end you are going to end up alone and full of despair.  After all is said and done and your revenge has taken place there is going to be nothing left inside of you, you have used up all your hatred and anger and an empty hole remains where there once was pain.  Pain is good like I have said before, it lets you know you are alive, and it teaches us how to react in situations and protects us from making the same or similar choices over again.

If you feel nothing but emptiness, what do you think is going to fill the void?  Do you think it is going to be love? Understanding?  No, it is going to be an all consuming and overwhelming sense of despair, guilt and depression.  Then when you look back at all the energy and time that you have wasted, and trust me you are going to see that it was a total waste.  You are going to see that it was fruitless, and the joy that you thought you were going to feel watching the other person pay and squirm is going to feel so unrewarding, and by then it is too late.  Nothing you can do will take back the actions you have taken.  Once you are on that path, how could you possibly feel anything whatsoever?

In most cases the hurt that you experienced at another's hands was probably accidental, not even planned.  Even if the pain was because they were talking about you behind your back and lying to everyone around you, accusing you of things you hadn't done.  You really need to look at your past actions and see if what they are reacting to, isn't somehow a direct result of something you might have done or said, and what they were doing was to get back at you.  See revenge is a nasty two edge sword, and no matter if you started it or reacted to it, it still wounds both you and the person it was intended for.  What if once you have searched within yourself and it wasn't brought about by something you have done, take into consideration who it was that was talking about you, maybe you will find that they are jealous of you, or envy you for some reason, or maybe they are just a bitter lonely person who can't stand to see you happy because they aren't.

Understand that I am not saying what they did wasn't wrong, and that your feelings of hurt and betrayal aren't justified, but take it in stride and with a grain of salt.  Remember, who said it or did it and if you can't figure out why they did it, I suggest you confront them privately and try to find out. More than likely they are going to deny that they did it, and if that happens you have to determine if they are actually telling the truth and if you can really trust the source from which your information came from.  Because often times we get caught up in the "He Said, She Said" bull crap, and eventually find out that we have been played from the start.  It is always best to go to the source and confront them and figure out what actually happened or was said.  You may find out that they are innocent, or you may find out that they did do it, and what got back to you was taken out of context and made to hurt you, and when you find out what was really said or done, you could find out that it was all a big misunderstanding.

Now, if something has happened and it is immensely damaging and hurtful, you must evaluate the person, their motives, and intentions.  Try to figure out what their agenda is.  Because I promise you that there are so many people out there that are claiming to be your friends and saying that they care about you, and behind your back they are tearing you apart, undermining everything you are trying to accomplish, and talking about you like you are a dog.  These are the types of people that I call "Frienemies", they are all around us, they are opportunist, and they are just trying to get you for whatever they can, and it doesn't matter to them how badly you get hurt.  To them you are just an end to the means.  If you don't get rid of them from your life they are going to continue to use you till there is nothing left and continue to hurt you.

It is easier to give into the pain and hatred, let the anger build and go after these people, but trust me when I tell you revenge and vengeance isn't any good.  Have faith that they are going to get what is coming to them, and they are going to be hurt far worse than you could ever do to them, by their own actions.  They are going to find out that they have no real friends and everyone is going to eventually find out what type of person they are and before you know it they are going to be hurting and you didn't have to lift a figure to do anything because they have done it to themselves.

Have pity on them that have hurt you and used you, that have spoken about you and lied on you, because they are so unhappy with their lives, and so insecure with there own standing that they try destroy yours.  But, guess what you are better than them.  You are going to be stronger then them, and you are going to be blessed far greater than them.  So please learn to forgive them for what they have done, understand the type of person they truly are, and let them go.  They are not worth you feeling guilty and miserable over.  Always keep in the front of your mind how they treated you and what they did to you, so you don't let them do it to you again, also by keeping that fresh in your mind you are going to be aware and ready for the next person that tries to play you and run game on you.  Because you know what how they act and operate.  So as the saying goes, "Forgive but never forget what they have done".  

While you are soul searching to find out why they did what they did, and all that.  Honestly take a good hard look at how you judge a person's character, because you may find out just like I did that you are a bad judge of character and your choice of friends leaves a lot to be desired. Learn to be observant, and as I have suggested before come at each encounter with a new person as an open book, be honest with them, don't hide behind your masks, develop a true friendship, test it if you have too, and when you figure out that they are just a player and are trying to run game on you drop them. Because in the long run they are just going to walk all over you, get as much out of you as they can and leave. It is just that simple, they honestly don't care, and because of that they have the most power in your relationship, because you are the one that cares you are the one that is going to get hurt.  My friend once sent me a picture that I wanted to post on here that summed up nicely what I was trying to say but I couldn't find it.  So I am going to do my best to tell you from my memory.  The picture said something like this "When someone in your life is taking more withdrawals then deposits, you will soon find that your account is out of balance, and you are negative, know when to close the account."  Like I was saying above, if someone is taking from you more than they are giving your, they are using you, they are not a true friend. Any type of friendship/relationship is supposed to be a partnership a 50/50 breakdown, the two of you should be benefiting each other in some way.  Because if that isn't happening then it really isn't a friendship at all.  If you continue to let it happen to you, I can guarantee that hard feelings and animosity are going to build up.  There is a very thin line between like and dislike and before you know it you are going to be in dislike.  I don't use the word hate, because I don't think I have ever found anyone that I disliked so much that I actually hated them.  But there are quite a few people out there that have played me and hurt me and I dislike what they did.  Now, I cannot fault them entirely because I know that I had my own part to play in the situation, but taking advantage of someone that is trying to help you is wrong no matter how you look at it.  It maybe a bit late and after the fact but those people will never get to play me again, because I now know about their agenda, and no matter how hard they will try to convince me otherwise, I know that they don't care about me.

Be wise as you pick your friends, try and hone your skills at being a good judge of character, protect yourself against the players and haters in the world.  Make sure you put your interest and goals in front of everyone else's because they aren't going to put yours first.  Above all else let go of the hate, anger and regret you feel, don't let it consume you and put you on the path of revenge.  Continue to be true to yourself and love everyone like you do.  Forgive them that have hurt you and move on, cutting them from your life and letting them figure out how they are going to work someone else because you are through.  Keep in mind my motto "So What, Who Cares, Get Over It and Move On" because in the grand scheme of life, they are just a little bump in the road, and when all is said and done they aren't going to be answering for you at Judgement, it is just going to be you alone.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B