Is dimensional travel possible? Open your mind and the rest will follow!"

What is mad?  crazy, insane, without conscious purpose, truly an anomaly.  Mad is a state mind, a journey to the outer limits of conscious reality.  Some say that insanity is repeating the same pattern over and over again expecting a different result.  But what if I tell you that mad, insane, crazy, are all dimensions that the mind can travel.  Free yourself from the restrictions of your conscious self and you can travel there.  Suppress the subconscious and see where you can go.  Other planes of reality are available for you to travel.  Rod Serling once said that it was a journey through sight and sound and a journey to the farther limits of the mind is where the twilight zone resides.

Yet, in America the term mad can refer to an emotion of anger, or refer to a state of mind such as crazy.  So what is right?  Maybe both of these can coexist and be essentially correct. What if I told you that dimensional travel can be accomplished by taking a journey into the depths of your own imagination.  Maybe even time travel could be accomplished by casting your sight and concentration inward because I am convinced that all knowledge has been handed down to each of us from the beginning of time, all because Eve ate from that forbidden fruit.

Indulge me for just a moment to see if you can understand how I have arrived at this conclusion.  Follow me backward in time to the Garden of Eden, the knowledge of good and evil was given to both Eve and Adam through biting the forbidden fruit.  Therefore if all knowledge was given to Eve, it would be easy for that information to be transferred to her offspring through the birth process.  Today scientist debate nature versus nurture, and what is instinctually passed from parent to child.  Let me further expand this conversation by saying that they spark of life that was breathed into man is part of the Divine, and thus is the part of God, that is passed on to each of us.  Some believe that this is the basis for consciousness and self-awareness, it is that very spark of divinity that allows us to access that knowledge.  I have even heard that mystics and seers call this supernatural database of knowledge as the "Akashic Records".   So, if the knowledge and information is passed down via our direct heritage from Adam and Eve it would be accessible by anyone born today.

I heard a song once that said "Free your mind and the rest will follow" which gives us the basic instructions on how to access this hidden knowledge.  Or if you would like allows individuals to access the cosmic database of all thought or knowledge that has come before us and that will come after us.  Every concept that the human mind can conceive either now or in the future is housed in the Akashic Records.  Therefore, if all knowledge is accessible wouldn't it stand to reason that dimensional travel could also be accomplished in a similar fashion.  I have studied extensively western metaphysics and mysticism and I know that astral projection is possible, and has a well documented history.  It is my belief that dimensional travel and possibly even time travel can be accomplished via astral projection.

Now you might be thinking that I am "Mad" or "Insane" or even "Crazy" by believing like this, but my basis for this information is firmly rooted in Christianity and the Bible.  When John was writing about his visions and dreams in Revelations it is my belief that he actually visited the distant future and witnessed and saw first hand the tragedy and possibly even experienced what he later called "Revelations".  Here is what Google defines Revelation as:  a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way. Or the divine or supernatural disclosure to humans of something relating to human existence or the world.

Looking at this definition of Revelation you can begin to see what I am talking about.  In the ancient world the descriptions that unfold in the book of Revelations in the Bible would not have made much sense to the people of the day, and maybe that is why John's work was so ill received at the time.  But in today's context we can see some of the signs and portents that were predicted there coming to fruition today.

But the way that John got his information was not relayed to the reader in words other than "I saw" or "It became known to me"  this seems to me that it meant that he actually either saw physically with his own eyes, or experienced what was to come personally.  Those that we deem mentally unstable, or crazy may in fact be nothing more than closer in tuned with the spiritual than we would feel comfortable with them being.  That person walking down the street talking to themselves may in fact be talking to someone or something that we cannot see or fathom in our own limited understanding of the world and the happenings around us.  Who is to say that person isn't talking to a being from another dimension or to an Angel or even God Himself?

No where in my readings of the Bible explain why the ancients had direct access to God and we don't.  I believe that God does exist and to those that have looked upon His face and seen His glory may be seen as touched or crazy by the standards we have in place today.  The angels still walk the earth, we may not be able to see them anymore because we are locked into our conscious mind and have never learned how to suppress our subconscious.  Throughout history there have been born prodigies that seemed to possess knowledge greater than their education or our understanding and have brought incredible inventions and music and art work into our world.  Maybe these individuals have a unique access to the Akashic Records or have been born with understanding of the knowledge that was passed down through the ages through the divine link.

Keep an open mind, look deep inside of your own mind and explore the further reaches, and see what you come up with. I think you might be surprised that there is a wealth of knowledge at your disposal and you haven't even accessed it yet.  Journey down the road that the philosophers have taken before you and see what you come up with.  I think that all things that the mind can believe and come up with we as individuals can achieve.  It is up to you and how you approach the world. Maybe the final frontier that we need to explore isn't outside of our world but right here in our own mind.  Dimensional and time travel maybe something that once was achieved and forgotten by our earliest ancestors.  If there was a legendary advanced civilization known as Atlantis and Lemuria, it stands to reason that they would have thought of these concepts and have mastered them.

I was taught a great deal about the Island of Lemuria by a good friend that is no longer with us, Jane Ann Dow.   Atlantis and Lemuria were two halves of the same civilization, Atlantis followed science and logic, Lemuria followed the path of metaphysics and spiritualism.  It goes without saying that when their continent was destroyed and disappeared from the face of the earth that the knowledge and understanding as well as spiritual enlightenment that they had achieved also vanished with them.  However, the social consciousness of humanity as a whole has been increasing with leaps and bounds and I honestly believe that we are on the cusp of something spectacular.  If you believe the prophecies of Revelations then we are headed for the second coming of Jesus and the end of our world as we know it.  But what if what was written in Revelations was about an ending to the way that we are living now and the dawn of a whole new era of history one that we cannot even fathom.  Where the spiritual is followed by the majority and a whole paradigm shift takes place and we become as enlightened and as advanced as the Atlantians and the Lemurians.

Wouldn't that be something and our minds are opened to a new realm of possibilities and the blinders from our eyes are taken away.

Please do me a huge favor and open your mind to new possibilities and ideas.  Look deep within yourself and see if you can't find answers to your most basic questions.  Because once you start on that path I think you will see that it becomes more natural for you.   I at least hope that I have opened your eyes to a new world of possibilities and ideas and hopefully you will not judge to quickly or harshly those around you and might experience the joy and wonder of true enlightenment and a closer walk with God.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Sometimes we have to Realign, Reevaluate, Readjust and Move On!

In February of 2012 I reached a point in my life where I couldn't go any lower, I had hit rock bottom.  I had lost my apartment in October, I also had a kidney stone and ended up in and out of the hospital.  I ended up staying in a hotel from the beginning of October till November 7th.  I had most of my possessions with me and my two dogs in the hotel and here I was in and out of pain and agony because of the kidney stone.  On November 7th, I had to leave the hotel because I couldn't pay for it any longer.  Animal control was called by the hotel manager and because I was leaving the hotel with nowhere to go my dogs were taken from me and destroyed.  I was hurt and devastated by this and here I was out on the street.   Long story short I lost everything, my home, my dogs, my car, and was wondering the streets of Atlanta, wondering what I was going to do.  For a little while I stayed with some friends, but when that went south, I ended up squatting in a vacant apartment that I knew about and used it as a hideout for almost a month and a half before I was finally caught and put out.   My father ended up helping me and I landed back in an extended stay for a little while.  But things were just not working for me.  Every step forward I took I ended up falling ten steps backward.  I turned back to heavy drug use, and that compounded the problems even further.  So in January my father and I spoke on the phone and he told me that he couldn't help me any further, that he just didn't have the money to put me up in a hotel any longer.  But, what he did do is he offered to buy me a bus ticket back to Florida.  Of course I would have to pay him back once I got down here.

What I realized during this time was that sometimes we need to take some time, reevaluate our lives, figure out what direction we want to go and readjust our goals.  So in January that is exactly what I did, and I realized that with the amount of drugs I was doing and my medical problems that I probably needed to get away from the temptation of the drugs and start over.  The first step in this process was realignment, I began searching my soul and heart and realized that I wasn't happy any longer in Atlanta.  See, I had been in a relationship for 12 1/2 years it had finally come to a final and bitter end in 2009, I started seeing someone else late in 2009 and we were together off and on till 2011.  But the problem was that there was nothing and no one really in Atlanta to hold me there.  Joe was gone, Sterling was gone, Noriko had left and gone back to Florida, most of my friends were either leaving or so hook on drugs, and nothing I did seemed to bring me any joy or fulfillment.  So I began my journey of soul searching, scouring my inner being to find my true self, the person I had been before I went into those relationships.  The person who was not afraid to take a chance, who was decisive, knew what he wanted, and then went after it.  It was that drive and ambition that had pushed me to get my Bachelors and Masters degrees, and I needed to reconnect with that person.  This was the period of realignment, I had to find myself again, realign my inner and outer being to become whole again.

Once I started on this path I realized that I needed to reevaluate not only my values, but my whole direction in my life. I needed to chart a new course one that wasn't dependent on others and make some definitive choices in my life.  So when my father offered to buy the bus ticket and bring me home, I jumped at the idea.  I ended up leaving Atlanta with just the clothes on my back and nothing else.  But, that is okay, because sometimes we have to change our location and friends to find ourselves again. This is what I call changing our venue. Sometimes, all it takes to get back to ourselves and find our direction again, is to move to a new place and start all over again.  Which is what I decided to do.  I embraced the challenge and got on that bus confident that the new journey I was on was going would bring me full circle and help me find myself again.  I am thankful that I took that step, because it took me from the temptations that were still in Atlanta, and helped me move on.  Once I had made the decision to move, I kept looking inward, and realized that not only did I have to reevaluate my values, direction and life, I needed to reevaluate my goals, dreams and hopes.

When I began looking at my goals and life objectives, it became apparent that I needed to start over totally from scratch so I set some manageable and achievable goals.  Therefore, I decided that once I got to my parents house I was going to save up money, get a car, get a job, a cellphone, and then my own place to live.  I had to readjust my thinking, I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and let go of the past, to move on and away from the stuff I had lost and left behind in Atlanta.  I knew that I was coming to an unfamiliar place and that I was going to be alone, all I would have would be my father and stepmother, because last year they had moved from Orlando where I had grown up and moved to the beach.  So I would know no one and I knew that this was just the chance I needed to get my life back together and back on track.  See I had left all my friends and acquaintances behind in Atlanta, I would have no support network to fall back on. I would have to sink or swim because I knew my parents couldn't help me other than giving me a place to stay.  So I moved on.  Got on that bus and never really looked back.

Now I have been in Daytona Beach for 8 months now. I have been through a series of setbacks, mainly because of my health. But you want to know an amazing thing.  In 8 months, every goal that I had set for myself before I left Atlanta has been fulfilled. I actually feel good about myself, I don't feel like I have to ask anyone for permission to do anything. I got myself a car, have a great job, and rebuilt almost all of the things that I had lost in Atlanta.  I am proud of myself, and I realize how much this journey has helped me grow and mature.  I don't regret making the decision to leave, I have been able to steer clear of the drugs, the temptations and have actually overcome some very serious health issues.

There comes a time in each of our lives when we have to sit back and realign, reevaluate and readjust our lives and thinking and just move on. We have to take that leap of faith and know within ourselves that we are going to be victorious and overcome the obstacles and hardships that life is going to put in our path.  It is at these times that we really have to be sincerely honest with ourselves. Because this is when we are going to grow, learn and mature.  Once we get through the first part of our journey it becomes almost automatic for our mind perform the process over and over again, and you begin to realize that there are new goals and ways of looking at things and we move further along the path.

Even now as I am writing to you I am at a new point in my journey, I am about to move out of my parents place this weekend and move into my own space, now I had never planned on doing this alone, I had hoped to share this next phase of my life and journey with someone else.  But because things aren't actually working out as I have planned I realized today that it is once again time to stop and reevaluate, readjust, realign and move on. Because I need more in life at this point. I am working and volunteering my time, but it doesn't fill the void that I am feeling inside, so I write, I draw, watch movies and try to keep myself busy, but honestly there is something missing.  I have lost my ambition, my inspiration, and now on top of this I have found out just yesterday that I am facing another serious medical problem, and it has caused me to wonder what is next for me.  Because honestly over the past two weeks I have been asking myself a very heavy question and one that I cannot answer at this point.

The question being "When is it going to be my turn, why can't I find someone to take care of me, someone I can depend on? See all of my life, I have been the one that everyone has depended on. I was the one that supported and helped others. I put everyone else's concerns and needs before my own.  But, now when I need it who can I turn too? When will I find someone that cares about my desires, needs and wants first?  Honestly, with everything that is happening in my life, I don't think it will ever happen.  I am beginning to believe that my worst fear is going to come true, that I am going to be single and spend the rest of my life alone.  If you only knew what I was facing right now, how this new issue is going to further limit my abilities and that alone I fear is going to keep anyone from ever wanting to have anything more from me beyond a friendship. A very big part of me is devastated, because I have been living in denial since 2005 and finally it was brought home to me in a very real way on Friday.  If you want to understand this a little better read my blog entry "Inner Demon Finally Realized...Is there still hope?"

To further add to this desperation and loneliness I am feeling you have to understand that in the spring of this year I had reconnected with someone that I cared a lot about back in Atlanta, and as the months of us talking kept going.  He kept telling me that he loved me and wanted to be in a relationship with me. So finally in June I admitted the feelings I had for him.  We started dating, and in August he was supposed to come for a 3 week visit. To surprise him, I ended up driving to Atlanta to bring him back and you can read all about what happened in the blog entry "Misadventures in Paradise"... to fully understand what happened and what I went through while I was there.  To understand  how much I cared about this man read my entry called "Rekindling a Relationship from embers to full flame--An Experiment".  Over the last two weeks he found out some things, and is working through those issues on his own and has basically closed me out. He hasn't called or talked to me. He has sent me a total of 3 text messages in the past twelve days. Honestly it is killing me, there are so many things I want to tell him about my health and what is going on with this move.  How, I want him here with me, so that I can face the future with him, and for him to be by my side as I embark on this new phase of life.  Now, that I am getting my own place, I want him here with me to experience it and share it.  I have done everything I can to reach out to him, to encourage him to confide in me and talk to me because I know I can help with what he is dealing with.  Been there and done that as they say.

So here I sit wondering if it is yet again time to realign, reevaluate, readjust and move on. I can't make someone talk to me or confide in me.  The last time we spoke he told me that he was like this, warned me that he closes off. He told me that he loved me and that there was nothing wrong between us. Then I saw on his Facebook page that he posted that he feels like he is losing me.  So what do I do? How can I fix the situation when he won't talk to me. Is he testing me? I sent him text messages, emails, and Facebook messages, and still nothing. I keep reassuring him that I miss him and I love him. But nothing. He asked me to research flights for him to come and visit. I have done that. I have the information. Left him a message for him to call me so we could talk about it, yet nothing.  I want him in my life so bad, without him I feel like a part of me is missing. I find it hard to write, to sleep and even to deal with the problems and issues I have all on my own. I need him so much right now, and I am sure he could use my support and help.  It honestly feels like he doesn't trust me or want me to be involved in his life.  It makes me feel like I am nothing more to him than an annoyance and that I am bugging him.

So again, should I move on? Should I reevaluate my position and hope that one day he will come around. I know he loves me, I know he cares, I know that I have inspired him to be not only a better person, but he changed how he treats people and has reevaluated his own life because of my inspiration and positive attitude and outlook.

I wish there was a simple answer to this.  I wish I knew what he wants and what he is expecting.

So if nothing else remember that sometimes we just have to take a deep look inside of ourselves, change our location, our friends and move on to get to the next phase in our lives.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Life rarely turns out as planned or expected, but it is what you make of it.

When you are young, you think nothing is impossible, you are filled with hope and dreams, fueled with drive and ambition.  College may have just been completed or may even be an adventure yet to conqueror.  Now, I am not saying dreams, goals, hopes or ambitions are bad.  What I want to prepare you for is the inevitability that is called life.  See, when we are young and relatively inexperienced with the challenges and roadblocks that life throws in our path as we embark on our journey, we tend to make plans and goals for the future that we just never get too.

The reason for this is because of many different factors.  Some of which include stumbling blocks life throws us, and unexpected complications in work, school and maturing over time.  As we get older and mature we don't always re-evaluate our priorities or goals that we have made in our younger years. When we fail to do that we tend to wake up one morning and wonder why we aren't exactly where we thought we would be and are disappointed in the progress we have made.  At times like this we start to second guess ourselves and the choices we have made as we moved forward on life's road.

Recently, I sat down and had a reckoning with myself.  I wondered how I had gotten to the place I found myself at.  See I had planned on a whole different life from the one I have. You will be surprised at what I had found out.  It wasn't necessarily because my feet weren't on the right path, nor haven't I made the right decisions.  There were other factors, that I couldn't have ever foreseen in my life's plans or goals.  Everybody has different ideas of where they are going to be and what they want to do when they are in high school.  Those thoughts might might change a little bit while they are going to college. But it seems that later in life each and everyone of us looks back at our lives and we wonder why we haven't made it to where we thought we would be.

As I was saying a bit earlier this year I decided to look back at y life and I was surprised at where I was at and honestly I found myself disappointed with the progress I had made.  Keep in mind I was looking at current life versus expected ideals, and never took into account the journey it took me to get here.  Once I factored in that I was still not happy at all with my progress, but satisfied with my achievements.  See I looked at where I was currently at that exact moment in time, and not the whole journey.  Which I will try to explain more about a little bit later.  As I looked back at myself and on my life I only took into account at where I was at, at the present moment. Who would have thought that at 44 years of age I would be at home with my parents, with no place of my own, and no car and living on social security?  When you look at it from that perspective it doesn't sound good at all and is rather depressing if you ask me.  Which as you can imagine did cause me a few days of grief.  However, I began to realize that as with all things in my life it is how we look at them.  The angle at which they are viewed and the perspective they are viewed from, that makes all the difference.

Nobody likes to look back at upon their life and wonder what they have done wrong and they start contemplating the what if's, and honestly you can't do that because you will be drowning yourself in depression, doubt and guilt.  If you are anything like me, you looked back and were surprised with where you find your found yourself.  See my problem was I didn't take into account where I had been and what I had accomplished.  I was just looking at where I was at now.  Forget taking into consideration everything I went through and what I had literally lived through. I never stopped to look at the health issues, relationship issues, and all the other factors that had gone into how I had gotten here.  I focused solely on the end result and let me tell you I wasn't happy!  Then it dawned on me to consider the journey I had been on and the adventure of life, the circumstances that had brought me to this place, and that is when I realized that the path I was on had brought me to the exact place at the exact moment I needed to be there.

There is no mistaking that I needed to be at my parents home when I got here. I wasn't even here a week and I ended up in the hospital.  Two weeks later I had to have emergency surgery and before I knew it I have been in and out of the hospital a lot over the past year.  In order to get the care and attention I needed I landed exactly when I could get it and I am thankful I made the decision to come back here to my parents. In retrospect when I look back at the journey I have made. I am proud of what I accomplished, the friends and acquaintances I have made, the lessons I have learned.  More than that I have come full circle in my life.  I came back to where I have started.  I am smarter, more educated, more mature and in a far greater position than I had been in when I had left.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Would you do anything differently if you had to do it all over again?"  The long and the short of it is this, if I changed anything would I still know what I know now?  Would I have met the same people?  Would I have had the same experiences?  No! I wouldn't have is the answer to all of those questions.  So, No I wouldn't change a thing.  The one thing I value most in my life are my friends and the friendships I have made.  If I were to loose even one of them I wouldn't be happy.  Another thing I look back and I see the accomplishments I have made.  I am the first in my family to get my Bachelors and Masters degree. I served my country and received a Navy Achievement Medal for my time in service.  I am a plank owner of the U.S.S. Wisconsin (BB-64).  I have helped hundreds of people in my life without wanting anything in return and I have completed everything I have ever wanted to do with my life. Do I regrets? Yes, I do, but not the kind you would think of.  There are some people who were in my life that I gave up on when I shouldn't have. Plus, there were my dark years. The years in which I found myself immersed in the world of drugs, sex and self-destructive behavior.  This is also the period where my actions were not always friendly, more on the destructive side.  These are my only regrets.

Here I am on the other side of that period and I look back in awe and wonder at the friends and relationships that were formed during that time of my life and I am amazed at how many of them have survived and are still with me today.  I am thankful for their support and friendship.  They have made everything I went through worthwhile!  If I look further back at my life I can be proud of the time I worked for the State of Georgia.  The skills I learned and the friendships that still survive today as well.  It is inspiring to know that three different Governors depended on me, asked my opinions and listened to my advice.  How even today five and a half years later my name is still well known.  Who knows had my health held up I might even still be working there today.  I was happy with that job and that life.  What came after was the hard part.

But, even after tell you all of this, I don't believe I would change anything that I have gone through nor any of the people I shared those experiences with.  Because it is through all of this and all of them that I have become the person that I am today.  See, I realized this year that I am the culmination of every choice and decision I have made.  I am the result of every experience and relationship I have had.  I have grown, adapted, changed and matured into a much different person. If I wouldn't have gone through those things, suffered the setbacks and health issues I wouldn't have made it to the point in my life where I am at.  Nor would I have the background and the experience that I live and share with you.  You may ask about the illnesses that I have faced in my life and without rehashing my whole story. I will just tell you this June marks the 20 year that I have been fighting cancer and leukemia.  In 2006 I was diagnosed with HIV and in 2012 I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and Kidney/Renal disease.  Life has not been easy for me and yet through it all I try to remain positive and strong.

These illnesses were a necessary part of my development and have given me so much more insight into the human condition and life itself.  It has brought me that much closer to the Divine and God Himself.  It has taught me the meaning of faith and how to look past the frailties of life and look at the soul of a person.  It has prompted me to put my feet on the path of the philosophers journey and experience life from all aspects and points of reference.  So, I don't think I would even change those experiences if I had the opportunity. But, along with saying that I wouldn't wish any of these things on another person not even an enemy, which I am glad to say I don't have many of.  But lest I mislead you, I cannot say that I am altogether happy with the outcome of those illnesses.  I have the bag to contend with and the fears and phobias that go with that. Then there are the scars . The damage to my colon and the limited sexual things that I am now limited too.  Let me try to explain further about these things.  You can find more on them in the blog entry entitled "Inner Demon finally reveal....is there still hope..?"   The life of mine has not been a bed of roses. Cancer has eaten me up and yet, I am still here.  Since 2005 I have had to have 12 bowel resections, which means that I have lost several feet of large intestines. I have had a colostomy, ileostomy, another colostomy, and other ileostomy, and then finally they added a colostomy with the previous ileostomy, so currently today there are 2 stomas sticking out of my abdomen.  Then over the years I suffered from small bowel obstructions and had to have 8 sections of my small intestines removed, yet here I am!  Now add in renal and kidney failure with Hepatitis C and you are at where I am today.  I have the scars both physically and emotionally to prove it.  The scar tissue and adhesion's are so bad that on June 13, 2012 they attempted to reverse the colostomy that was put in on March the 5th and I died on the table 3 times before they called it quits, I had to have 5 blood transfusions and spent 19 days in intensive care.  I was told that they could never operate on me again or I would die. So at this point I have no further options when and if the cancer or radiation disease strikes again.  That was the other thing I forgot to mention in 2005 I found out that I was also suffering from long term radiation disease from the treatments that were used to save my life back in 92.

Now, most people would be depressed and buried under the weight of all of this, but I find it a challenge, and it has made me stronger, given me a broader outlook on life. It has also made me look at the world from a different perspective.  I see the positive, beauty and good in the world.  This I think has given me the energy that I need to continue to fight and live each day to the fullest.  What I want you to take away from this entry is this.  no matter what your plan and how hard you strive to get there to that ideal place in life. The world is going to throw you curve balls and obstacles in your way. Each and every one of us looks back on our lives and we are never happy with where we are at.  What I want you to do is look at the path and your journey that you have taken to get to where you are at.  Change your perspective so to speak and understand that it the journey and your path that is important, and you have arrived at exactly the right place at the right time where you need to be.  That by changing the way you view things you are going to see that how you got to your place is far more important, then the actual place itself.  It is the journey that makes everything worthwhile.  Cultivate the friendships and relationships you have made along the way. Take time to smell the roses, understand that life is short and that each and every moment that we have on the earth is as precious and important as anything else we could ever learn.  Remember life is not always what we want it to be but it is exactly what we make of it.  Appreciate the fine things in life, enjoy the culture the music, the exotic sounds and colors. Explore and learn all you can about everything around you.  Take the inner journey and find the answers to the questions that have been plaguing you.  As your perception changes, your outlook on things is going to change, and you are going to notice subtler things, and you will understand more of what life is actually all about.

Remember if things don't work out don't get frustrated, angry or upset.  Keep in mind that you are going to find that you are actually precisely when you need to be, that is just the way life works.  Think about it and you will see that I am right!

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Health update...once again

I have been back to the hospital yet once again.  This time was pretty major, apparently a cyst formed on my kidney and pelvis.  It started out on Wednesday afternoon as a 2 mm cyst and by Friday Morning it was 8 cm in diameter, 40 ml of fluid were drained from it, there was no sign of bacteria or infection.  I am seriously wondering what caused this phenomena after 3 days of testing and draining of the cyst, I am still no closer to an answer than I was the day I was admitted to the hospital. Ever since I got back from Atlanta, my kidneys have been giving me a lot of trouble. I spent 3 days in the hospital when I got back to Florida, and I spent a day in the hospital in Atlanta before I left.  I knew that I was severely dehydrated and that my kidneys were in jeopardy.  This new addition of fluid building up in my body in areas that it isn't supposed to has made me wonder what is really going on with my body.

This is the first time in 20 years that I haven't been able to put a finger on what is happening with my body and knowing what I am supposed to do to fix it.  Unfortunately, with this new information comes a whole new series of questions. I have been constantly on top of my bodies health ever since I was diagnosed with cancer 20 years ago.  This is the first time that something new has cropped up that I haven't had the answers too.  It has also made my mind go into overdrive to come up with a solution. Unfortunately with the information that I have I cannot for the life of me understand what is going on inside of me this time.  So as with all things unexplained I leave it to the good Lord to sort out on His own, because in my mind He is the ultimate authority on the body since He created it.  It has to be His will that I go through this or it wouldn't be happening to me at all.

I have to keep in mind that even as I walk there are times when my strength has failed to move me forward and it has been His unwavering steps that I glimpse in the sand as I look back over my path.  I know it is Him who has carried me through those dark moments. I know it will be His divine wisdom that guides the physicians as the struggle to answer the newest mystery in my bodies physiology.  I have to keep in mind that all answers are not always self apparent and have to be searched for and researched.  I know that I wouldn't have been brought this far for an answer to be hidden and obscured that there is meaning in each of our lives and it is ours to seek out the answers.

I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that we are provided with all the answers to every question we will ever face when we are born onto the Earth, it is also my belief that if we look deep within ourselves that the answers to each question will be revealed in it's due course.  See, I have unwavering faith, that when man was still in the Garden of Eden, and the first sin took place, that the knowledge of the ages was imparted to man, and was passed on through our blood.  It is the philosopher's journey to unlock those hidden things within our mind. Most of you know that we only use a fraction of our brain during our lifetime, so why is it so large? It is my belief that in our own ignorance or arrogance which ever may have been the case for Adam and Eve's blatant refusal to obey the only commandment they were given, they ate of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. For which we have ever been separated from God and the divine.

Now, I know that you were not expecting a Sunday school lesson when you opened up my blog this evening, so I will leave it at this point, but remember that we are each on a journey and that journey is the search for the ultimate truth.  Is is not? I hope it is, but it may just be what is the meaning of life or why am I here! These are also good questions and one's that can be answered on the inward journey that I am proposing. See within us is the knowledge of the ages and we need to educate ourselves as we move forward in this life to unlock the secrets of that knowledge, that is the true test that we are faced with in our daily life.

Yet, even as I struggle to grasp the meaning of life and all the other things that are yet obscured by my vision of reality, I seek to find the answers to the my health questions as well. I know the answers are there and that God is waiting for me to reach the level of understanding or enlightenment to reveal these answers to me, and in time I know I will get there. So with all my thoughts and prayers going out, I keep firmly my belief that all things known or will be known will be revealed to us through our journey and our learning.  It is my hope that my health will hold out long enough for me to reach the place where I need to be to understand all of this.

So with all of that being said, I will continue to fill you in on what is happening with my health. When I was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night it was apparent that the fluid build up was not normal from the reaction of the medical staff, however, it was surprising to find that my kidney's which had been such a problem just the week before seemed to be functioning at normal levels and all traces of kidney disease were gone.  Now that got me really thinking.  See sometimes it is the situation or circumstance that makes us break the mold of our thoughts and think outside of the box so to speak, and what was discovered is that despite the miraculous discovery that the kidneys were once again functioning as they should be there was still something not quite right with the whole situation, and what came to mind was that they had left the stint in place between my kidney's and bladder back in December for 2 months, now the normal length of time that a temporary stint should be in place is 30 days, anything longer the tissue grows back up around the stint and when removed a tear or rip in the organ can take place.  So now, we have to search the left kidney for a possible tear or rip that might be minuscule in size which might be allowing fluid to leak into the body unnoticed and be the cause of the cysts that seem to be forming. The fluid is vacuous and not infected by bacteria or contagion which seems to mean that the fluid is sterile as it enters the body cavity.  Urine is sterile until it is exposed to air.  Could this not mean that the leak might be from the kidney through a rent or tear that was made when the stint was removed?

This is a question I will be following up with in the morning with my doctor to try and get to the bottom of this mystery.  I am hoping that it is something as simple as this to my situation and that by now knowing what to look for might make it easier for the doctors to find.  Otherwise, I may end up back in the hospital with the same problem all over again.

So tell me what do you think? Might there be something to what I have written here or is it my imagination just grasping at some straws to answer that which I cannot answer?

I really would like to know what your thoughts are on this. Could I be on the right track after all and that all the answers to all our questions are locked right inside of us the entire time?

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Do you know what the difference is between knowledge and wisdom?

You know I wrote about how Plato theorized that knowledge and learning had to be appended by the student, the instructor was to point them in the right direction and that is how knowledge was transferred.  To Plato knowledge was universal, could be gleaned and appended (learned) by experience, thinking and rationalization.  To him philosophical thought would allow a student to tap into thought-forms or the idea of things.

Other philosophers believe in a universal repository of knowledge called the "Akashic Record".  Basically it is a huge database of all knowledge and understanding that can be tapped into via a trance like state, astral projection, or deep guided meditation. In either case I believe both schools of thought are extremely close to the truth.  If you don't believe me let me fill you in on a few thoughts on this of my own.

Science has long held debate over Nature vs. Nurture, the debate stems from innate or born instinctual level traits passed along during birth.  Some scientist contend that there is some knowledge passed from mother to child during the gestation period, or pregnancy. Other scientist's believe that we are taught everything after birth, that the mind of a new born is a clean slate.  This second group believes that an infant, mammal or otherwise, learn through patterns and repetition.  But what about survival instincts, the born knowledge that we must eat to live and other traits.

Coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, or Creationist view if you prefer the term, you need to take into consideration the story of the "Garden of Eden".  It is said that the reason for the expulsion of Adam and Eve was because of disobedience to the only rule God had given them, which was not to eat of the fruit of the "Tree of Knowledge".  This is pivotal in my discussion on this topic with you.  Because you see here is where original sin comes from.  Man's disobedience to the command of God.  It also opened man's eyes to all knowledge of good and evil. Hence the hiding from God because of fear, because until that time they had no knowledge of fear.

In that one fateful incident all knowledge was instantly opened up to the mind of man.  The knowledge was absorbed by the human mind, and I believe that it has remained with us today inside of each of us.  It has been passed down through time, just like the burden of original sin.

Science has theorized for years that the average person only uses a tenth of their brain during their lifetime.  I am sure you are aware that these are exceptions to this.  Notably Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Newton, Bobby Fischer, Thomas Edison and countless others.  We call them miracle children or prodigies and every generation produces one or two of them.  If my memory serves me right the Dali Lama is born with the knowledge of his past incarnations, has access to all the understanding and memories of all his previous lives.

It is my belief that each of us has inside of us the knowledge of all things, as was gifted by that one bite of the forbidden fruit.  With this thought in mind, I contend that the philosophers journey is the unlocking of that knowledge within ourselves to reach a higher level of consciousness.  This means that the path of enlightenment, is the journey toward total knowledge and understanding. That the more we are exposed to this knowledge the further along the path we find ourselves toward enlightenment.  But I also believe that with knowledge must come or be tempered with wisdom. See knowledge for the sake of knowledge is one thing but I think if you don't understand how to apply this knowledge to life you can never truly reach full enlightenment.

It is important to understand and comprehend as well as process the knowledge and apply it to your philosophical journey. You can have a person who is truly book smart. Knows everything but lacks street smarts, or the ability to survive in the real world or on the streets, it is the knowledge on how to survive the bumps in the road of life. The inverse is also true you can have someone who is street smart, a hustler so to speak, who can survive anywhere and knows how to handle themselves in any situation life throws at them. But cannot read or write, can't hold a job, etc.

Here is the key to understanding all of this. It is all inside of us. We were born with everything we need to know. We just have to look deep within ourselves and follow our thoughts to their inevitable conclusion. We all have the capacity to learn. We can internalize and reach logical conclusions about everything in this world.  I also contend those of you who have been told you have a learning disorder or some other such nonsense, that the reason you find yourself struggling to comprehend something is because your natural affinity lies in a different direction.

Example of this, both my friend John and I have problems with higher math such as calculus. A couple of years ago John was classified as having a learning disorder that prevented him from excelling at math. I on the other hand struggled through it, eventually grasped it and can still do the math functions today.  Now, I have to admit here I probably couldn't do it from memory now without a refresher and a formula sheet. But, the point I want to make is pretty simple really. Basically it comes down to Left Brain versus Right Brain.  Psychologist have realized that the artistic and the logical are managed by the active side of your brain or the dominant side. If memory serves left brained or left-handed people are more artistically inclined where the right brained or right-handed are more logic and technically oriented.

But, this is our predisposition, the way that we are born, our so called innate tendency, our natural affinity, or in a broader sense our talents.  Now, I am not saying that a right handed person is less talented than a left handed person, what I am saying is that art, music and other artistic endeavors come more easily and naturally to a left brain person.  Whereas, a right brained person can learn and become artistic, they are more inclined to comprehend and understand complex logic and functions. A right brained person must struggle and put effort into their artistic work, which usually shows in their work and makes it so appealing. Conversely, the same is true to a left brained person, art comes easily for them, they struggle through math and sciences. Yet, that is what makes their discoveries so ground breaking.

The point I am trying to make is this, that which we struggle through and give life too is an actual process on the philosophers journey.  Wisdom is gained by the practical application of the knowledge we have and perceive.  Trust me when I tell you after you struggle through something, learn the concepts behind them and finally master it, you will never forget it.  It is the journey, the work, the pressure you put into it that makes it memorable.

So what is knowledge? It is the comprehension and the understanding of a complex thought or information. According to Websters it is "to perceive directly as fact or truth, to believe to be true; to be certain of; to be familiar with or have experience of."  So knowledge boiled down is facts, figures, laws, information pas on as fact.  Whereas, wisdom is the applied usage of knowledge in the appropriate place or time.  Webster's defines wisdom as "the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring; good judgement, knowledge."

Can you see the point I am trying to make? Can you understand and comprehend what I am laying out?  That wisdom and knowledge are milestones and landmarks of the philosophers journey.  They are not mutually exclusive of each other yet they aren't mutually inclusive of each other either.  I believe King Solomon, the wisest man in the world was given the ability by God to have access to all knowledge of the ages and the wisdom to comprehend it all and to apply it to life.  Further, if you are like me and believe that God created us. That He truly breathed the spark of life into us, then you should also believe that the Divine resides or dwells within us.  It is what gives some people premonitions, ESP, do miraculous things.  It also gives us the ability to access the knowledge that was granted in that one act of disobedience the "Knowledge of Good and Evil".  That everything and anything is possible and that it is all within us. It is a gift as much as a curse, it can be used to benefit all of mankind or can be used to subjugate and destroy like Hitler tried to do.

I encourage you to take the spiritual and philosophical journey with me.  To pray and meditate on all things.  Because the knowledge and wisdom is within us, reachable and usable.  Wrap the knowledge you have with wisdom, explore all thins, remember what Mr. Webster said, "Wisdom is the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring." Learn all you can and use good judgement.

The road of life is filled with many mysteries, we have the ability to solve them, understand them, comprehend them and use them to better ourselves and society as a whole.

As always y hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Thank you for helping me realize my dream. I published entries 100 and 101 today.  It is all because of your encouragement and support.  God bless you and keep you safe.  I hope you will continue to read.

Thanks a million!
Bryan :-)