08/29/18
Getting older, aging is a part of life itself. You know that life is fleeting, that we are here one minute and gone the next. This is part of the Human Condition, it is inevitable and everyone of us must face the certainty of death to come.
Most of us measure our lives in years, some by achievements, others by amassed wealth or possessions. No matter how you measure your life you know that at some point it is all going to come to an end. Some plan for it, other's are taken completely unaware, and some live by the moment. Because living in the moment and by the moment keeps them in the present and leaves no room for the past to hold them back or slow them down, that way they can experience and enjoy every moment they have upon the Earth.
It's very hard for me to live in the moment and stay there. Being sick for so long I have tried to teach and program myself to live in the moment and not take each day for granted and enjoy the time I have and give thanks for every new dawn that I get to draw a breathe, but my past has a hold on me and maybe it is fear that is locking me down or just not wanting to totally give up on people that has me constantly looking toward past relationships hoping that one day they might come back into my life. I have explored this in other post, but I honestly think that because they were able to accept me for the person I am with all of my physical limitations and illnesses, that I fear I won't be able to find anyone that will be able to in the future. I know that I am not perfect and I have made many mistakes in my life. That too is a part of the Human Condition, we learn from our mistakes and the more painful the mistake the greater the lesson that is learned. I once believed that the only way that we truly learn is through pain, however as I have gotten older I am beginning to see that humans have a a greater capacity for learning and understanding than I once had given us credit for. I have since learned that we also learn through memorization, repetition and through trust, these are the most common ways we retain knowledge.
Yet wisdom is something that is gained from knowledge accumulated over time and put into practical use and practice. Just because you have some knowledge and understanding it doesn't mean that you are wise or have achieved wisdom. I think wisdom is knowing when to apply your knowledge and understanding tempered with kindness and compassion. This can take years to achieve and is something that we gain as we age and mature. It is not something that happens overnight, wisdom, patience, understanding, compassion and knowledge all go hand in and hand. In order to achieve the state of wisdom you must master all the required parts.
As most of you are aware I have been sick since 1992. Not every single day but more often than not. I have battled many types of cancer along with hepatitis C and HIV. I have experienced chronic renal failure, had more surgeries than you can imagine and recently started experiencing heart issues. No one knows better than me how fragile this body is, how tenuous our life is and how fleeting the moments we share with other can be. No one knows when we are going to die, not the hour or the day. Some of our lives may be long life, others will be cut short. None us can fathom the cause of our own demise whether it be from illness, tragedy, disaster or some other form.
I have always tried to cultivate lasting relationships, I have wanted to be in all the way for the long haul. Everywhere, I have gone and every person I meet I try to lay the groundwork and foundation for a long enduring and lasting friendship. Many of you I have met in high school, college or during my time in the Navy, others still from my time when I was in Atlanta, when I moved there 25 years ago. Technology has come a long way enabling us to reach out and talk to each other. FaceBook, Twitter and other social media have given us a platform and an environment where each of us can showcase our lives and achievements. Where we can record the narrative of our lives and reach out and connect with those that we have lost contact with over the years. Times have sure changed!
In just a few short months I will be turning 50 years old. Many of my friends and loved ones didn't make it to my age and I miss them sorely, and think about them all the time. I find turning 50 both a blessing and a curse, I had never in a million years ever thought that I would ever make to this age. I can remember when I was in my early 20's thinking that I wouldn't ever reach 35 and that was so old back then. I sneezed and looked in the mirror and wow look at all the time that has passed. I still grieve and mourn for those that have come into my life and are no longer with us. Many of whom I feel were more deserving than me to live, yet they were take away totally too soon.
Many of my peers can relate, we lived through the 80's and 90's and lost so many friend during that time. Even though I am aging and my body is weakening and falling apart, I will tell you that I am thankful and grateful to be here with you still today. But life is finite, it is fleeting and sometimes very brief. Please be sure to make time to talk to those that mean something to you. Reach out to them and tell them that you love them, and appreciate the. Let them know that you care and they are important to you. There are so many friends that I have lost over the years to drugs, disease and tragedy that I wish I could have told them how much I cared about them and how much they meant to me. If I had the opportunity now to tell them something I would tell them that I miss them every day and wish that I had been a better friend and knew how to communicate better with them when they were alive.
I don't know how much time I have left. You don't know how much time you have left either. Somebody can be in your life one day and be gone the next. I know this from very personal experience. I just recently lost a roommate and a very good friend around the same time that I found out that my dad had extensive lung cancer and metastasized tumors in the brain, my brother is dealing with End Stage Renal disease and my mother a paraplegic and extremely ill. This has all come to light in just a very short time span and I don't know when or if I will ever get to see any of them again.
Do yourself a favor and reach out to those that you count as a friend and loved one let them know exactly how much they mean to you, tell them that they matter to you. If you aren't truly there for them like you should be or if your friendship is strained then make and effort to fix it before it is too late. Save yourself some regret and make it right. Because you just don't know what tomorrow might bring.
So at this time I want to reach out to each and every one of you. I want to say thank you for being my friend. Thank you for listening to me, being there for me! You are important to me and I care about you and I am thinking about you a lot. Pick up the phone, drop and email, write a letter, send a card do something! Let's get our friendship back on track, you are part of me, you have taught me so much and I am grateful for you each and every day. I miss interacting with you, being able to see you and talk to you. I want to reclaim our friendship. I am here for you and I love you. My life is more complete just because you are in it and I wouldn't want it any other way. We need each other!
LIVE IS FINITE IT HAS AND END! I want you to be there with me all the way! What do you say I look forward to hearing from you soon.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Showing posts with label knowledge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label knowledge. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Friday, April 15, 2016
Memories
As we look back across our lives it is amazing at the things that spring to mind. A simple song can evoke the sweetest memories, that can bring a brilliant smile to your face. Passing a familiar spot can herald a bright spot in an otherwise dreary day. But memories are funny things, they often become colored by time. Even the worst experiences don't look so bad after time has passed by.
Most of my friends seem to pass through life, never taking stock of the people, places and things that they encounter. One friend said today that he keeps moving forward never looking back at anything. He feels that he can't keep up his forward momentum if he is constantly looking backwards. While he has a valid point. I tend to think a little differently on a minor particulars.
Like most people when his relationships end, he keeps it moving. In almost every instance I can think of if a relationship ends there were issues that were the caused it to end. Those same issues are more than likely still be there if the person comes back into your life. But, that doesn't mean that you have to write that person out of your life totally.
True good friends are few and far between. Each one of us don't have so many friends that we can afford to write any of them off. I have remained friends with the majority of my ex's, because the shared history that we have are what have bound us together and is the basis of our friendship. There have been 1 or 2 instances where I have tried to rekindle a past relationship. But like I said earlier, there were issues that we felt so strong about that caused us to go our separate ways, and they always seem to crop back up.
Relationships that are founded on mutual respect and trust have a foundation that's worth investing time in and are the easiest to convert to a lasting friendship. It is important to keep in mind that every person that has come into your life was brought there for a specific reason. We grow and learn from each other, we have a need that the other filled in some fundamental way.
You may be wondering why in an entry about memories would I digress to talk about friendships and relationships? The truth of the matter is that each and every person who enters your life touches you in a fundamental way, memories of these people, places and events are indelibly written in your subconscious which at some point become memories.
Memories are precious things and they evoke an emotional response when they pop in our minds. Like I said at the beginning of the post time can make even the most terrible experience seem not so terrible when you look back. Be careful because if you compare new experiences to a remembered experience you might think that the past was better and be unhappy. Which just might make you think that nothing will ever be able to compete with your past and you might miss out on something truly remarkable.
People all around you see what you are going through and how you deal with life's situations and problems. You might be surprised at how your actions and reactions to certain situations inspires and gives another a sense of hope and peace. Beacause no matter what you are actually going through there are others out there going through something similar or maybe even worse and they see how you are handling it and it gives them that extra push to help them make it through. Remember always that a casual conversation can take you somewhere that you never thought you would ever go. Random encounters can inspire and give hope to others and who knows might bring someone into your life at the right moment to help you through as well.
Memories are not perfect and they are a snapshot of time from our own unique perspective. Plus, keep in mind that someone else's memory of an event might not even be close to what you remember because each of us filter things differently and are truly seen from our own perspective.
Remember the good times, the in between times and the bad times, in the end as you look back over time you will be amazed at the things you have come through, survived and have learned. These are pieces of shared history between you and whoever you were with and they can never be taken away from you. If you are embarking on a new relationship try your best not to compare it to your past relationships, because one of you is always going to feel that they can't compete with the past because to them your rememberance focuses mainly on the good and positive times.
Everyone deserves their own chance, remember your past fondly, be proud of what you have accomplished and have learned, know that you have survived and been strengthened by each and every event. Hold on to your memories share them when appropriate and find your true happiness within your heart and mind.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Monday, March 23, 2015
Rainy Days and Sunshine
I have stood alone and faced the world for so long. All my worries and troubles had no one to share, so I carried my burden day after day.
Seemed like the dark clouds would pass me by, but every morning they hadn't gone. So I plodded on and on. I couldn't see what was around me because my life was shrouded in gloom. Often I would collapse at night in my room. I didn't know what was going to happen, I just knew that something had to give.
As my storm clouds circled my head, my feet kept going in circle round and round. I was doing the same things every day, no change, just the monotonous life, I was born to lead. Home, work, pay bills, eat and sleep and then start all over again.
I cannot tell you how many years have gone by locked in this endless pattern of wash, rinse and repeat. I had tried it all the drugs, the sex, the gambling, and even some dangerous stuff. There seemed to be no end to this rut I had fallen in.
Then one day you walked in, a breathe of fresh air, with that golden sunshine around you there. I blinked and stared and knew right then that you were where and what I wanted to be. I talked with you and walked with you. My grey skies and clouds were pushed aside. For in light no darkness can abide.
You were my friend, my companion, someone who was there to understand. We talked and laughed all the day through. My life had changed just because of you. But you know what is funny my dear, maybe I should whisper in your ear.
Your life was doom and gloom, before we met just as mine was. Yet, once we met I have seen nothing but blue skies and sun. My dull and boring life was now full of fun and life. I cannot tell you what you mean, you brightened my world what more can I say.
Now I wake to sunshine, you have chased my rain away. So here I have to say so long to my rainy days. It is you my friend who has brought it too and end. If you could only see what I see reflected back at me from your eyes you would be surprised.
So smart and sure, and confident you are, I envy you and wish I was more like you. You have come and left but my sunshine has remained. I can't thank you enough for bringing it to an end. Everyday I get to spend with you is so special a treat.
I pray one day that in the mirror you will see all that I can see that you can be. You need to have some faith in yourself, take your confidence and make a change. You can be so much more than your are. Though I am not sure you know who you truly are.
A friend to me is what you are, someone that I would like to be, who I wish could see the strength that I see inside of you. You do not quite yet comprehend who you will be when this journey ends. The wheel of time continued to turn and so the years went by you would come every so often into my orbit, never staying for very long.
I am older, weaker now, frail and injured weary of soul, and finally you have come. In the past I have helped a little never much because you always fled. I wanted us to be so more, but it wasn't meant to be. I am your guardian, helper, teacher, and even more important your friend. You are special to me, you came in my darkness and my stupor. You saw my aimless wandering in the gloom, you never ever knew just the impact you brought.
As I have learned as you have been gone, it was the spark of life you brought to me in my darkest hour. You rescued me. talked with me and healed me. It was you my friend that built me up again when the one before had plunged me into this deep and dank dark. You have built up my self-esteem, my confidence, and brought the sunshine back.
What can I do for you? I wish you would tell me true. I so envy you, but you are troubled and seem so alone, let me in I hate that you have had to roam so far from home to find a little bit of peace. I had promised you so long ago that I was your friend and I meant that till my end.
Do you really know and understand that you are truly my friend. A friend you see is more than just words, it is actions and deeds. When I tell you that I love you do you truly understand? Love is when you put another person needs above your own.
How can I relate to you what you truly mean? You don't even see your own self worth. I want you to stay, I want to teach you all I can, but I am not sure you understand. If you stay and learn the person you are will be changed for ever more. The more you learn the more knowledge you gain. You will learn in due time that wisdom comes from Age plus Knowledge. The path you seek is here indeed..
You chased my rainy days away filled my heart and my life full of sunshine. I have a hope an inner peace that wasn't there until I met you. Your friendship changed my life. An inner peace, an a thirst to learn. From the time I met you I have increased my knowledge 100 fold.
If you are sincere, but be aware, what I have to teach took me a lifetime to learn, you must be willing to put in the time. It will not be easy, you will want to quit, might hate me some but in the end you will have learned. I hope you can understand what all I have planned, and I hope you will stay this time.
Before now other things came in between, I don't want to let it happen again. Our time is finally at hand, what you choose to do with it is up to you. Take your time and decide, please don't turn and hide. I want this to be just for you and me.
You are once again here and I love you my friend. Remember it is till the end.
I hope you are my Best Friend
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Seemed like the dark clouds would pass me by, but every morning they hadn't gone. So I plodded on and on. I couldn't see what was around me because my life was shrouded in gloom. Often I would collapse at night in my room. I didn't know what was going to happen, I just knew that something had to give.
As my storm clouds circled my head, my feet kept going in circle round and round. I was doing the same things every day, no change, just the monotonous life, I was born to lead. Home, work, pay bills, eat and sleep and then start all over again.
I cannot tell you how many years have gone by locked in this endless pattern of wash, rinse and repeat. I had tried it all the drugs, the sex, the gambling, and even some dangerous stuff. There seemed to be no end to this rut I had fallen in.
Then one day you walked in, a breathe of fresh air, with that golden sunshine around you there. I blinked and stared and knew right then that you were where and what I wanted to be. I talked with you and walked with you. My grey skies and clouds were pushed aside. For in light no darkness can abide.
You were my friend, my companion, someone who was there to understand. We talked and laughed all the day through. My life had changed just because of you. But you know what is funny my dear, maybe I should whisper in your ear.
Your life was doom and gloom, before we met just as mine was. Yet, once we met I have seen nothing but blue skies and sun. My dull and boring life was now full of fun and life. I cannot tell you what you mean, you brightened my world what more can I say.
Now I wake to sunshine, you have chased my rain away. So here I have to say so long to my rainy days. It is you my friend who has brought it too and end. If you could only see what I see reflected back at me from your eyes you would be surprised.
So smart and sure, and confident you are, I envy you and wish I was more like you. You have come and left but my sunshine has remained. I can't thank you enough for bringing it to an end. Everyday I get to spend with you is so special a treat.
I pray one day that in the mirror you will see all that I can see that you can be. You need to have some faith in yourself, take your confidence and make a change. You can be so much more than your are. Though I am not sure you know who you truly are.
A friend to me is what you are, someone that I would like to be, who I wish could see the strength that I see inside of you. You do not quite yet comprehend who you will be when this journey ends. The wheel of time continued to turn and so the years went by you would come every so often into my orbit, never staying for very long.
I am older, weaker now, frail and injured weary of soul, and finally you have come. In the past I have helped a little never much because you always fled. I wanted us to be so more, but it wasn't meant to be. I am your guardian, helper, teacher, and even more important your friend. You are special to me, you came in my darkness and my stupor. You saw my aimless wandering in the gloom, you never ever knew just the impact you brought.
As I have learned as you have been gone, it was the spark of life you brought to me in my darkest hour. You rescued me. talked with me and healed me. It was you my friend that built me up again when the one before had plunged me into this deep and dank dark. You have built up my self-esteem, my confidence, and brought the sunshine back.
What can I do for you? I wish you would tell me true. I so envy you, but you are troubled and seem so alone, let me in I hate that you have had to roam so far from home to find a little bit of peace. I had promised you so long ago that I was your friend and I meant that till my end.
Do you really know and understand that you are truly my friend. A friend you see is more than just words, it is actions and deeds. When I tell you that I love you do you truly understand? Love is when you put another person needs above your own.
How can I relate to you what you truly mean? You don't even see your own self worth. I want you to stay, I want to teach you all I can, but I am not sure you understand. If you stay and learn the person you are will be changed for ever more. The more you learn the more knowledge you gain. You will learn in due time that wisdom comes from Age plus Knowledge. The path you seek is here indeed..
You chased my rainy days away filled my heart and my life full of sunshine. I have a hope an inner peace that wasn't there until I met you. Your friendship changed my life. An inner peace, an a thirst to learn. From the time I met you I have increased my knowledge 100 fold.
If you are sincere, but be aware, what I have to teach took me a lifetime to learn, you must be willing to put in the time. It will not be easy, you will want to quit, might hate me some but in the end you will have learned. I hope you can understand what all I have planned, and I hope you will stay this time.
Before now other things came in between, I don't want to let it happen again. Our time is finally at hand, what you choose to do with it is up to you. Take your time and decide, please don't turn and hide. I want this to be just for you and me.
You are once again here and I love you my friend. Remember it is till the end.
I hope you are my Best Friend
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
What are you looking for?? Wonder why you can't find it?
Folks how many of you are searching for something to change in your life? How many of you are looking for love? How many of you are looking for something but have no idea what it is? Just last week I told you what I was looking for. Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I have been searching for love in every conceivable place. I couldn't find it, and neither will you. Face it folk you and I have been looking in all the wrong places. The search for love must start within, no one else can give it to you, and it just isn't lying on the ground. Love is a very many splendid thing and if you don't love yourself you can't love anyone else.
Now, I have come to terms with myself, I have found my true self, the self that I gave away in my last relationship, the person that I used to be. I have the confidence and the courage to stand on my own. But I had to dig deep within myself, I had to be brutally honest with myself. No more excuses, no more rationalizations. I had to come clean with my fears, feelings, my desires and my wants. I needed to concentrate on all the things that mattered to me the most. You have to believe me when I tell you that healing comes from within. Forgiveness when given openly releases you from your pain and allows you to gain closure. You cannot hold any grudges in your heart. You have to surrender and let go of all of you, you can't do it piecemeal it is an all or nothing thing.
What I can tell you is that people who have known me for years had to take a second look at me, there is an air about me now that wasn't there before. I hold my head up with confidence, I am once again driven, I have revived my passions, and I have grown. I have to say thank you for those who are in my past, you have helped me grow and become the person that I am today, but change has come upon that person and has made something better than what was there before. I am whole again and I am so happy. I have a spirit of total love and compassion, take a good look at me because the person you see before you now is not the same person who was here before.
I was lost and wandering, I had little or no direction. I was on a path of destruction, I chose drugs to ease my pain and deal with my issues without acknowledging them. By doing so I had set myself up for failure, and came close to dying way too many times. Yet, the part of me that I have found again has given me a new resolve, and inner strength and peace that I cannot describe to you. I can tell you that I have never had a closer walk with God than I do right now. I can see things so clearly now that the haze and the smoke from self-pity and self destruction have cleared away. I have found that life is something that is worth living. I knew in my heart that I had a calling on Earth and a mission that God had planned for me. But I didn't know what it was or how to even find the path that I needed to be on. But something in my life changed recently and I have to tell you that my whole world was turned upside down but once it all started to settle everything was exactly where it needed to be.
Change is in the air and I keep telling people to expect it, but when it happens everyone seems to still be amazed when the change has come upon them. You have to understand that life is a cycle and what was will come again. None of us can run fast enough to escape the change that is coming. No matter what you do you will find yourself in the midst of it before you know what is happening. It moves as fast as the wind and will blow you over you are not going to even know when it is going to happen. As a race humans have a tendency to walk with their eyes downcast, and if you walk like that you miss all the things that are happening around you. If you are wearing blinders you can only see and face that which is directly in front of you you miss everything else that is happening around you. However, remove the blinders raise the head up and your heart will follow. I believe that when we remove the blinders and we start to look up at the sky we can see everything that is happening around us.
The Bible tells us to be of the world but not in the world, and I have been trying for years to balance that walk and be divine in my actions, more often that not I have been pulled into the world and started doing the drugs again. Yet, something is different this time and the temptation is gone. I know that now is the time that for me to start my work again, I don't think that their is a lure out there that would tempt me across that line again, especially since the last time that I tried to do any type of drug I got so sick that I thought I was going to die. It was recently too, and for that I am sorry. I have become my own man, and I think that now is the time for me to begin again.
So often times people look all over for different things, they look for love, friendship, relationships and hope in all the wrong places. It is often elusive and difficult and they loose hope and begin to despair. They forget that God is there and is watching over them. That He has a plan for them and their lives. But what is even more funny is that most of the time the exact thing we are looking and praying for have been given too us and we don't even recognize it. We are actually seeing it and don't realize that our prayer has been answered. So many times the things that we desire the most are right in front of our face and yet we miss it completely.
You don't know how many times I have been looking for a connection with someone, a closeness, a bond that I can't describe in full detail. But I know that things happen for a reason and I have to have faith that God has a plan for me. However, it is funny that I am writing about this today because as I was praying ove the weekend, a dawning realization came over me. I have had what I have been looking for in my life for a very long time and I never even knew it.
But as I posted on Facebook this morning God hears our prayers, sees our plight, knows what we are going through and what we desire. Our prayers are heard and answered on His timetable and not our own. He is never late you can bet on that, He is exactly on time. Just you wait and see. I think you will find that everything that I have said to you is absolute gospel. If it is His will it will be granted unto you when the time is right.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Now, I have come to terms with myself, I have found my true self, the self that I gave away in my last relationship, the person that I used to be. I have the confidence and the courage to stand on my own. But I had to dig deep within myself, I had to be brutally honest with myself. No more excuses, no more rationalizations. I had to come clean with my fears, feelings, my desires and my wants. I needed to concentrate on all the things that mattered to me the most. You have to believe me when I tell you that healing comes from within. Forgiveness when given openly releases you from your pain and allows you to gain closure. You cannot hold any grudges in your heart. You have to surrender and let go of all of you, you can't do it piecemeal it is an all or nothing thing.
What I can tell you is that people who have known me for years had to take a second look at me, there is an air about me now that wasn't there before. I hold my head up with confidence, I am once again driven, I have revived my passions, and I have grown. I have to say thank you for those who are in my past, you have helped me grow and become the person that I am today, but change has come upon that person and has made something better than what was there before. I am whole again and I am so happy. I have a spirit of total love and compassion, take a good look at me because the person you see before you now is not the same person who was here before.
I was lost and wandering, I had little or no direction. I was on a path of destruction, I chose drugs to ease my pain and deal with my issues without acknowledging them. By doing so I had set myself up for failure, and came close to dying way too many times. Yet, the part of me that I have found again has given me a new resolve, and inner strength and peace that I cannot describe to you. I can tell you that I have never had a closer walk with God than I do right now. I can see things so clearly now that the haze and the smoke from self-pity and self destruction have cleared away. I have found that life is something that is worth living. I knew in my heart that I had a calling on Earth and a mission that God had planned for me. But I didn't know what it was or how to even find the path that I needed to be on. But something in my life changed recently and I have to tell you that my whole world was turned upside down but once it all started to settle everything was exactly where it needed to be.
Change is in the air and I keep telling people to expect it, but when it happens everyone seems to still be amazed when the change has come upon them. You have to understand that life is a cycle and what was will come again. None of us can run fast enough to escape the change that is coming. No matter what you do you will find yourself in the midst of it before you know what is happening. It moves as fast as the wind and will blow you over you are not going to even know when it is going to happen. As a race humans have a tendency to walk with their eyes downcast, and if you walk like that you miss all the things that are happening around you. If you are wearing blinders you can only see and face that which is directly in front of you you miss everything else that is happening around you. However, remove the blinders raise the head up and your heart will follow. I believe that when we remove the blinders and we start to look up at the sky we can see everything that is happening around us.
The Bible tells us to be of the world but not in the world, and I have been trying for years to balance that walk and be divine in my actions, more often that not I have been pulled into the world and started doing the drugs again. Yet, something is different this time and the temptation is gone. I know that now is the time that for me to start my work again, I don't think that their is a lure out there that would tempt me across that line again, especially since the last time that I tried to do any type of drug I got so sick that I thought I was going to die. It was recently too, and for that I am sorry. I have become my own man, and I think that now is the time for me to begin again.
So often times people look all over for different things, they look for love, friendship, relationships and hope in all the wrong places. It is often elusive and difficult and they loose hope and begin to despair. They forget that God is there and is watching over them. That He has a plan for them and their lives. But what is even more funny is that most of the time the exact thing we are looking and praying for have been given too us and we don't even recognize it. We are actually seeing it and don't realize that our prayer has been answered. So many times the things that we desire the most are right in front of our face and yet we miss it completely.
You don't know how many times I have been looking for a connection with someone, a closeness, a bond that I can't describe in full detail. But I know that things happen for a reason and I have to have faith that God has a plan for me. However, it is funny that I am writing about this today because as I was praying ove the weekend, a dawning realization came over me. I have had what I have been looking for in my life for a very long time and I never even knew it.
But as I posted on Facebook this morning God hears our prayers, sees our plight, knows what we are going through and what we desire. Our prayers are heard and answered on His timetable and not our own. He is never late you can bet on that, He is exactly on time. Just you wait and see. I think you will find that everything that I have said to you is absolute gospel. If it is His will it will be granted unto you when the time is right.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
How fragile life is and how wondrous it can also be!
Yesterday in my blog entry I mentioned how I realized how fragile and precious life can be. Some of you maybe wondering what I meant when I wrote that. So I thought I would discuss it a bit further so that you have a better understanding of what I mean. See as some of you are aware from following my blog since the beginning, I have been battling cancer and leukemia for a little more than 20 years now. This has been a long and hard battle, and one that I can honestly tell you I have been winning though there have been setbacks and changes to my life that have been earth shattering to say the least. But, here I am still alive and writing to you about the adventures that I have been upon. Life has been sort of kind and yet cruel to me at the same time. The battle began in the summer of 1992 when they found a large tumor in my colon 8" long x 5" wide, with serrated edges and ulcerated down the middle. I underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatments and the tumor eventually vanished.
I went on to college and got several degrees, and journeyed to Atlanta and started a new life. I landed a great job right after school with the Georgia Department of Revenue. I was there till I started having the same symptoms all over again. This was in 2005 when it all began, and it got worse as the years went by. I ended up having to have parts of my large intestines removed and several parts of my small intestines. An ileostomy was performed to save my life, the input of which is very close to the output of my stomach, so for years I have had a problem gaining weight and maintaining it. Now years have gone by and I still have the bag attached to my small intestines and though it has saved my life, it has complicated it as well. See being a gay man I have the fear that I will not or can not be accepted by the gay community and gay men in general. See sex has become very complicated and not to mention the scars and the bag that cause fear on my part. They also make others uncomfortable when they find out about it. Now, it doesn't change who I am but it has made me reluctant to open up to others, the fear of rejection is high on the list of my fears and phobias.
To complicate matters in 2006 I was diagnosed with HIV and the medication that I was put on immediately caused damage to my kidney's and has made life a bit more interesting to say the least. Since 2008, I have found that having the ileostomy causes my body to dehydrate faster than a normal persons because my waste is fully liquid all the time in the bag, add in the fact that my kidney's are impaired and you come up with renal failure and end stage renal disease. I have been hospitalized a lot because of this impairment, including recently in September when I visited 2 different hospitals and had to have fluids and potassium added to my body via IV. Not a fun experience to say the least. Now, further in December of 2011 I had a kidney stone, which caused a lot of problems. Bladder infections, lodged kidney stone in the ureter tube, repeated hospitalizations and eventually a stint was put in to make it easier to urinate. The stint was left in place till February when it was finally removed, come to find out the stint should have only been left in place for 30 days, and in my case it was in for a little more than 60 days.
Last week I was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday. A cyst had formed on the left kidney, when it was found it was 2mm by the time they got the drain put in to drain it, the size had grown to 8cm. They were able to drain 40mL of fluid from it. Luckily there was no sign of bacteria or infection in the fluid that was extracted from the cyst. Battery after battery of tests were given and still no answer to why the cyst formed and if it would come back again. My biggest fear is that when they removed the stint back in February, I believe that tissue had grown around the stint and when it was removed I believe that a small tear formed and that is where the fluid is coming from. I am now wondering what can be done to correct the damage that was done. But, it doesn't change the fact that life has thrown yet another curve ball at me that I have to deal with.
What I want you to understand that I had 10 years of good health before I got ill again, and during that time I built a life, a good one and made a lot of money. But, when I got sick again, I watched how quickly it could all be taken away from me. I learned a lot of things during this time and that is why I started writing this blog, to help others overcome the trials and tribulations that life throws at us. When I moved home in February, I had no idea that in March I would be faced with death and that an emergency surgery had to be performed. 2012 has been a year of hospitalizations and death seems to have been lurking around every corner for me. Even as I write this tonight it feels like the fluid is building back up in my pelvic region again. I am hoping it is phantom pains but my luck hasn't been running so good lately. The only other change was the my HIV medication, we changed to a whole new regimen over the last week and this is the second time that this has happened since I started the new meds. I am hoping that when I go to my follow up appointment with my surgeon he will have some other ideas that he can throw out at me.
Now what I want you to realize is that life is fickle and can throw you many curve balls when it comes to your health. One minute you can be healthy and the next you are sick. Then you could be like me and battling a whole series of terminal illnesses and putting the medical profession on their toes with the amount of care that is needed to just keep me going daily. But the up side to all of this is that life is what you make of it. Health is an important factor, but it isn't the only factor that you have to take into consideration, you need to choose those things that make you happy as well, because life is fleeting and precious. You have to take the moments that you are given and live them to the fullest, and if you happen to miss some of the moments, take the time to create your own. In the long run you are going to be glad that you did. Never miss the opportunity to tell your loved ones how you feel about them, and don't hide your feelings or keep them bottled up inside of you. The reason why is you never ever know when your last moment on this earth is going to be.
For years, I kept my feelings bottled up inside of me, and I was on a hair trigger and the least little things would set me off. This didn't make it easy for those that were trying to be in a relationship with me, and it certainly didn't make it fun being my friend. I have since learned that every moment is a gift that we are given, we are not guaranteed another day on the earth, so be sure to express yourself truly, for there really is no greater crime then missing out on something because you were to afraid to let someone know how you really felt about them. You may not even realize it till it is too late and they have moved on, but what does it hurt to let them know how you felt or feel about them. You never know your chance may come around again. What I am hoping that you will take away from this blog entry is that you need to utilize the time you are given and excel in the things that you love, leave behind the things that you don't. Be yourself always and express your desires openly, do not be afraid. One thing you will learn is that rejection is part of living and if you never take the chance you might miss out on some very good opportunities, not to mention the love of your life or even possibly your soul mate. Keep in mind how fleeting and fragile life is, know your body, get to know when you are not feeling right and act accordingly. Don't be like me and wait till the last possible second to go to the hospital, because even though I have been lucky so far, my time might just run out while I am second guessing myself. There have been so many times when I have gotten to the hospital at the nick of time, where the doctors have told me and my partner that if I had waited any longer I wouldn't have made it. Be responsible for yourself. Be true to yourself and others, you owe them that much.
Another thing that I have learned along this journey that I am on is that there is never a good reason to lie, and life is too short to have to keep up with different stories, stick to the truth, it will get you further in the long run, and if people are truly your friends they are going to get angry with you for pointing out their flaws and shortcomings but in the long run they are going to thank you for your honesty and appreciate you all that much better. I don't know what life has in store for me at this moment in time, but I can tell you that I plan to live whatever time I have left happily and without regrets and express how I feel to others, no matter what the cost, because I will tell you I have made mistakes in the past and I don't want to miss out on one minute of happiness in my life from here on out.
In the ten short years that I had of health after this whole thing started I had a life, a real one, full of laughter, anger and pain, and I let obsession for more money, more things cloud my judgement. I threw away the things that made me happy and I tell you I won't make the same mistakes again. A person can live a full and happy life in just ten short years. You can accomplish so much and if you are focused and dedicated you can build a whole lifetime into that little span of time. I know I did and I am glad that I had the opportunity and the experience. I know one day soon I will be healthy again, I just know that the Lord wouldn't have brought me this far to bring me home now. I still have so much to do and more to explain to the world before I am ready to cash it in for the pearly gates.
So take it from me, you can do a lot, but you have to take ownership of your health, be responsible, know your body, be proactive, and let me stress yet another fun fact that you might not know, 3 out of 5 people today are walking around not even knowing that they are affected with HIV/AIDS. They have no symptoms and feel fine. So know your status, get checked often and be proactive about your care if you do find out you are ill. Knowing as they say is half the battle, and to be forewarned is to be forearmed.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I went on to college and got several degrees, and journeyed to Atlanta and started a new life. I landed a great job right after school with the Georgia Department of Revenue. I was there till I started having the same symptoms all over again. This was in 2005 when it all began, and it got worse as the years went by. I ended up having to have parts of my large intestines removed and several parts of my small intestines. An ileostomy was performed to save my life, the input of which is very close to the output of my stomach, so for years I have had a problem gaining weight and maintaining it. Now years have gone by and I still have the bag attached to my small intestines and though it has saved my life, it has complicated it as well. See being a gay man I have the fear that I will not or can not be accepted by the gay community and gay men in general. See sex has become very complicated and not to mention the scars and the bag that cause fear on my part. They also make others uncomfortable when they find out about it. Now, it doesn't change who I am but it has made me reluctant to open up to others, the fear of rejection is high on the list of my fears and phobias.
To complicate matters in 2006 I was diagnosed with HIV and the medication that I was put on immediately caused damage to my kidney's and has made life a bit more interesting to say the least. Since 2008, I have found that having the ileostomy causes my body to dehydrate faster than a normal persons because my waste is fully liquid all the time in the bag, add in the fact that my kidney's are impaired and you come up with renal failure and end stage renal disease. I have been hospitalized a lot because of this impairment, including recently in September when I visited 2 different hospitals and had to have fluids and potassium added to my body via IV. Not a fun experience to say the least. Now, further in December of 2011 I had a kidney stone, which caused a lot of problems. Bladder infections, lodged kidney stone in the ureter tube, repeated hospitalizations and eventually a stint was put in to make it easier to urinate. The stint was left in place till February when it was finally removed, come to find out the stint should have only been left in place for 30 days, and in my case it was in for a little more than 60 days.
Last week I was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday. A cyst had formed on the left kidney, when it was found it was 2mm by the time they got the drain put in to drain it, the size had grown to 8cm. They were able to drain 40mL of fluid from it. Luckily there was no sign of bacteria or infection in the fluid that was extracted from the cyst. Battery after battery of tests were given and still no answer to why the cyst formed and if it would come back again. My biggest fear is that when they removed the stint back in February, I believe that tissue had grown around the stint and when it was removed I believe that a small tear formed and that is where the fluid is coming from. I am now wondering what can be done to correct the damage that was done. But, it doesn't change the fact that life has thrown yet another curve ball at me that I have to deal with.
What I want you to understand that I had 10 years of good health before I got ill again, and during that time I built a life, a good one and made a lot of money. But, when I got sick again, I watched how quickly it could all be taken away from me. I learned a lot of things during this time and that is why I started writing this blog, to help others overcome the trials and tribulations that life throws at us. When I moved home in February, I had no idea that in March I would be faced with death and that an emergency surgery had to be performed. 2012 has been a year of hospitalizations and death seems to have been lurking around every corner for me. Even as I write this tonight it feels like the fluid is building back up in my pelvic region again. I am hoping it is phantom pains but my luck hasn't been running so good lately. The only other change was the my HIV medication, we changed to a whole new regimen over the last week and this is the second time that this has happened since I started the new meds. I am hoping that when I go to my follow up appointment with my surgeon he will have some other ideas that he can throw out at me.
Now what I want you to realize is that life is fickle and can throw you many curve balls when it comes to your health. One minute you can be healthy and the next you are sick. Then you could be like me and battling a whole series of terminal illnesses and putting the medical profession on their toes with the amount of care that is needed to just keep me going daily. But the up side to all of this is that life is what you make of it. Health is an important factor, but it isn't the only factor that you have to take into consideration, you need to choose those things that make you happy as well, because life is fleeting and precious. You have to take the moments that you are given and live them to the fullest, and if you happen to miss some of the moments, take the time to create your own. In the long run you are going to be glad that you did. Never miss the opportunity to tell your loved ones how you feel about them, and don't hide your feelings or keep them bottled up inside of you. The reason why is you never ever know when your last moment on this earth is going to be.
For years, I kept my feelings bottled up inside of me, and I was on a hair trigger and the least little things would set me off. This didn't make it easy for those that were trying to be in a relationship with me, and it certainly didn't make it fun being my friend. I have since learned that every moment is a gift that we are given, we are not guaranteed another day on the earth, so be sure to express yourself truly, for there really is no greater crime then missing out on something because you were to afraid to let someone know how you really felt about them. You may not even realize it till it is too late and they have moved on, but what does it hurt to let them know how you felt or feel about them. You never know your chance may come around again. What I am hoping that you will take away from this blog entry is that you need to utilize the time you are given and excel in the things that you love, leave behind the things that you don't. Be yourself always and express your desires openly, do not be afraid. One thing you will learn is that rejection is part of living and if you never take the chance you might miss out on some very good opportunities, not to mention the love of your life or even possibly your soul mate. Keep in mind how fleeting and fragile life is, know your body, get to know when you are not feeling right and act accordingly. Don't be like me and wait till the last possible second to go to the hospital, because even though I have been lucky so far, my time might just run out while I am second guessing myself. There have been so many times when I have gotten to the hospital at the nick of time, where the doctors have told me and my partner that if I had waited any longer I wouldn't have made it. Be responsible for yourself. Be true to yourself and others, you owe them that much.
Another thing that I have learned along this journey that I am on is that there is never a good reason to lie, and life is too short to have to keep up with different stories, stick to the truth, it will get you further in the long run, and if people are truly your friends they are going to get angry with you for pointing out their flaws and shortcomings but in the long run they are going to thank you for your honesty and appreciate you all that much better. I don't know what life has in store for me at this moment in time, but I can tell you that I plan to live whatever time I have left happily and without regrets and express how I feel to others, no matter what the cost, because I will tell you I have made mistakes in the past and I don't want to miss out on one minute of happiness in my life from here on out.
In the ten short years that I had of health after this whole thing started I had a life, a real one, full of laughter, anger and pain, and I let obsession for more money, more things cloud my judgement. I threw away the things that made me happy and I tell you I won't make the same mistakes again. A person can live a full and happy life in just ten short years. You can accomplish so much and if you are focused and dedicated you can build a whole lifetime into that little span of time. I know I did and I am glad that I had the opportunity and the experience. I know one day soon I will be healthy again, I just know that the Lord wouldn't have brought me this far to bring me home now. I still have so much to do and more to explain to the world before I am ready to cash it in for the pearly gates.
So take it from me, you can do a lot, but you have to take ownership of your health, be responsible, know your body, be proactive, and let me stress yet another fun fact that you might not know, 3 out of 5 people today are walking around not even knowing that they are affected with HIV/AIDS. They have no symptoms and feel fine. So know your status, get checked often and be proactive about your care if you do find out you are ill. Knowing as they say is half the battle, and to be forewarned is to be forearmed.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Monday, August 6, 2012
Do you know what the difference is between knowledge and wisdom?
You know I wrote about how Plato theorized that knowledge and learning had to be appended by the student, the instructor was to point them in the right direction and that is how knowledge was transferred. To Plato knowledge was universal, could be gleaned and appended (learned) by experience, thinking and rationalization. To him philosophical thought would allow a student to tap into thought-forms or the idea of things.
Other philosophers believe in a universal repository of knowledge called the "Akashic Record". Basically it is a huge database of all knowledge and understanding that can be tapped into via a trance like state, astral projection, or deep guided meditation. In either case I believe both schools of thought are extremely close to the truth. If you don't believe me let me fill you in on a few thoughts on this of my own.
Science has long held debate over Nature vs. Nurture, the debate stems from innate or born instinctual level traits passed along during birth. Some scientist contend that there is some knowledge passed from mother to child during the gestation period, or pregnancy. Other scientist's believe that we are taught everything after birth, that the mind of a new born is a clean slate. This second group believes that an infant, mammal or otherwise, learn through patterns and repetition. But what about survival instincts, the born knowledge that we must eat to live and other traits.
Coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, or Creationist view if you prefer the term, you need to take into consideration the story of the "Garden of Eden". It is said that the reason for the expulsion of Adam and Eve was because of disobedience to the only rule God had given them, which was not to eat of the fruit of the "Tree of Knowledge". This is pivotal in my discussion on this topic with you. Because you see here is where original sin comes from. Man's disobedience to the command of God. It also opened man's eyes to all knowledge of good and evil. Hence the hiding from God because of fear, because until that time they had no knowledge of fear.
In that one fateful incident all knowledge was instantly opened up to the mind of man. The knowledge was absorbed by the human mind, and I believe that it has remained with us today inside of each of us. It has been passed down through time, just like the burden of original sin.
Science has theorized for years that the average person only uses a tenth of their brain during their lifetime. I am sure you are aware that these are exceptions to this. Notably Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Newton, Bobby Fischer, Thomas Edison and countless others. We call them miracle children or prodigies and every generation produces one or two of them. If my memory serves me right the Dali Lama is born with the knowledge of his past incarnations, has access to all the understanding and memories of all his previous lives.
It is my belief that each of us has inside of us the knowledge of all things, as was gifted by that one bite of the forbidden fruit. With this thought in mind, I contend that the philosophers journey is the unlocking of that knowledge within ourselves to reach a higher level of consciousness. This means that the path of enlightenment, is the journey toward total knowledge and understanding. That the more we are exposed to this knowledge the further along the path we find ourselves toward enlightenment. But I also believe that with knowledge must come or be tempered with wisdom. See knowledge for the sake of knowledge is one thing but I think if you don't understand how to apply this knowledge to life you can never truly reach full enlightenment.
It is important to understand and comprehend as well as process the knowledge and apply it to your philosophical journey. You can have a person who is truly book smart. Knows everything but lacks street smarts, or the ability to survive in the real world or on the streets, it is the knowledge on how to survive the bumps in the road of life. The inverse is also true you can have someone who is street smart, a hustler so to speak, who can survive anywhere and knows how to handle themselves in any situation life throws at them. But cannot read or write, can't hold a job, etc.
Here is the key to understanding all of this. It is all inside of us. We were born with everything we need to know. We just have to look deep within ourselves and follow our thoughts to their inevitable conclusion. We all have the capacity to learn. We can internalize and reach logical conclusions about everything in this world. I also contend those of you who have been told you have a learning disorder or some other such nonsense, that the reason you find yourself struggling to comprehend something is because your natural affinity lies in a different direction.
Example of this, both my friend John and I have problems with higher math such as calculus. A couple of years ago John was classified as having a learning disorder that prevented him from excelling at math. I on the other hand struggled through it, eventually grasped it and can still do the math functions today. Now, I have to admit here I probably couldn't do it from memory now without a refresher and a formula sheet. But, the point I want to make is pretty simple really. Basically it comes down to Left Brain versus Right Brain. Psychologist have realized that the artistic and the logical are managed by the active side of your brain or the dominant side. If memory serves left brained or left-handed people are more artistically inclined where the right brained or right-handed are more logic and technically oriented.
But, this is our predisposition, the way that we are born, our so called innate tendency, our natural affinity, or in a broader sense our talents. Now, I am not saying that a right handed person is less talented than a left handed person, what I am saying is that art, music and other artistic endeavors come more easily and naturally to a left brain person. Whereas, a right brained person can learn and become artistic, they are more inclined to comprehend and understand complex logic and functions. A right brained person must struggle and put effort into their artistic work, which usually shows in their work and makes it so appealing. Conversely, the same is true to a left brained person, art comes easily for them, they struggle through math and sciences. Yet, that is what makes their discoveries so ground breaking.
The point I am trying to make is this, that which we struggle through and give life too is an actual process on the philosophers journey. Wisdom is gained by the practical application of the knowledge we have and perceive. Trust me when I tell you after you struggle through something, learn the concepts behind them and finally master it, you will never forget it. It is the journey, the work, the pressure you put into it that makes it memorable.
So what is knowledge? It is the comprehension and the understanding of a complex thought or information. According to Websters it is "to perceive directly as fact or truth, to believe to be true; to be certain of; to be familiar with or have experience of." So knowledge boiled down is facts, figures, laws, information pas on as fact. Whereas, wisdom is the applied usage of knowledge in the appropriate place or time. Webster's defines wisdom as "the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring; good judgement, knowledge."
Can you see the point I am trying to make? Can you understand and comprehend what I am laying out? That wisdom and knowledge are milestones and landmarks of the philosophers journey. They are not mutually exclusive of each other yet they aren't mutually inclusive of each other either. I believe King Solomon, the wisest man in the world was given the ability by God to have access to all knowledge of the ages and the wisdom to comprehend it all and to apply it to life. Further, if you are like me and believe that God created us. That He truly breathed the spark of life into us, then you should also believe that the Divine resides or dwells within us. It is what gives some people premonitions, ESP, do miraculous things. It also gives us the ability to access the knowledge that was granted in that one act of disobedience the "Knowledge of Good and Evil". That everything and anything is possible and that it is all within us. It is a gift as much as a curse, it can be used to benefit all of mankind or can be used to subjugate and destroy like Hitler tried to do.
I encourage you to take the spiritual and philosophical journey with me. To pray and meditate on all things. Because the knowledge and wisdom is within us, reachable and usable. Wrap the knowledge you have with wisdom, explore all thins, remember what Mr. Webster said, "Wisdom is the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring." Learn all you can and use good judgement.
The road of life is filled with many mysteries, we have the ability to solve them, understand them, comprehend them and use them to better ourselves and society as a whole.
As always y hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Thank you for helping me realize my dream. I published entries 100 and 101 today. It is all because of your encouragement and support. God bless you and keep you safe. I hope you will continue to read.
Thanks a million!
Bryan :-)
Other philosophers believe in a universal repository of knowledge called the "Akashic Record". Basically it is a huge database of all knowledge and understanding that can be tapped into via a trance like state, astral projection, or deep guided meditation. In either case I believe both schools of thought are extremely close to the truth. If you don't believe me let me fill you in on a few thoughts on this of my own.
Science has long held debate over Nature vs. Nurture, the debate stems from innate or born instinctual level traits passed along during birth. Some scientist contend that there is some knowledge passed from mother to child during the gestation period, or pregnancy. Other scientist's believe that we are taught everything after birth, that the mind of a new born is a clean slate. This second group believes that an infant, mammal or otherwise, learn through patterns and repetition. But what about survival instincts, the born knowledge that we must eat to live and other traits.
Coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, or Creationist view if you prefer the term, you need to take into consideration the story of the "Garden of Eden". It is said that the reason for the expulsion of Adam and Eve was because of disobedience to the only rule God had given them, which was not to eat of the fruit of the "Tree of Knowledge". This is pivotal in my discussion on this topic with you. Because you see here is where original sin comes from. Man's disobedience to the command of God. It also opened man's eyes to all knowledge of good and evil. Hence the hiding from God because of fear, because until that time they had no knowledge of fear.
In that one fateful incident all knowledge was instantly opened up to the mind of man. The knowledge was absorbed by the human mind, and I believe that it has remained with us today inside of each of us. It has been passed down through time, just like the burden of original sin.
Science has theorized for years that the average person only uses a tenth of their brain during their lifetime. I am sure you are aware that these are exceptions to this. Notably Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Newton, Bobby Fischer, Thomas Edison and countless others. We call them miracle children or prodigies and every generation produces one or two of them. If my memory serves me right the Dali Lama is born with the knowledge of his past incarnations, has access to all the understanding and memories of all his previous lives.
It is my belief that each of us has inside of us the knowledge of all things, as was gifted by that one bite of the forbidden fruit. With this thought in mind, I contend that the philosophers journey is the unlocking of that knowledge within ourselves to reach a higher level of consciousness. This means that the path of enlightenment, is the journey toward total knowledge and understanding. That the more we are exposed to this knowledge the further along the path we find ourselves toward enlightenment. But I also believe that with knowledge must come or be tempered with wisdom. See knowledge for the sake of knowledge is one thing but I think if you don't understand how to apply this knowledge to life you can never truly reach full enlightenment.
It is important to understand and comprehend as well as process the knowledge and apply it to your philosophical journey. You can have a person who is truly book smart. Knows everything but lacks street smarts, or the ability to survive in the real world or on the streets, it is the knowledge on how to survive the bumps in the road of life. The inverse is also true you can have someone who is street smart, a hustler so to speak, who can survive anywhere and knows how to handle themselves in any situation life throws at them. But cannot read or write, can't hold a job, etc.
Here is the key to understanding all of this. It is all inside of us. We were born with everything we need to know. We just have to look deep within ourselves and follow our thoughts to their inevitable conclusion. We all have the capacity to learn. We can internalize and reach logical conclusions about everything in this world. I also contend those of you who have been told you have a learning disorder or some other such nonsense, that the reason you find yourself struggling to comprehend something is because your natural affinity lies in a different direction.
Example of this, both my friend John and I have problems with higher math such as calculus. A couple of years ago John was classified as having a learning disorder that prevented him from excelling at math. I on the other hand struggled through it, eventually grasped it and can still do the math functions today. Now, I have to admit here I probably couldn't do it from memory now without a refresher and a formula sheet. But, the point I want to make is pretty simple really. Basically it comes down to Left Brain versus Right Brain. Psychologist have realized that the artistic and the logical are managed by the active side of your brain or the dominant side. If memory serves left brained or left-handed people are more artistically inclined where the right brained or right-handed are more logic and technically oriented.
But, this is our predisposition, the way that we are born, our so called innate tendency, our natural affinity, or in a broader sense our talents. Now, I am not saying that a right handed person is less talented than a left handed person, what I am saying is that art, music and other artistic endeavors come more easily and naturally to a left brain person. Whereas, a right brained person can learn and become artistic, they are more inclined to comprehend and understand complex logic and functions. A right brained person must struggle and put effort into their artistic work, which usually shows in their work and makes it so appealing. Conversely, the same is true to a left brained person, art comes easily for them, they struggle through math and sciences. Yet, that is what makes their discoveries so ground breaking.
The point I am trying to make is this, that which we struggle through and give life too is an actual process on the philosophers journey. Wisdom is gained by the practical application of the knowledge we have and perceive. Trust me when I tell you after you struggle through something, learn the concepts behind them and finally master it, you will never forget it. It is the journey, the work, the pressure you put into it that makes it memorable.
So what is knowledge? It is the comprehension and the understanding of a complex thought or information. According to Websters it is "to perceive directly as fact or truth, to believe to be true; to be certain of; to be familiar with or have experience of." So knowledge boiled down is facts, figures, laws, information pas on as fact. Whereas, wisdom is the applied usage of knowledge in the appropriate place or time. Webster's defines wisdom as "the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring; good judgement, knowledge."
Can you see the point I am trying to make? Can you understand and comprehend what I am laying out? That wisdom and knowledge are milestones and landmarks of the philosophers journey. They are not mutually exclusive of each other yet they aren't mutually inclusive of each other either. I believe King Solomon, the wisest man in the world was given the ability by God to have access to all knowledge of the ages and the wisdom to comprehend it all and to apply it to life. Further, if you are like me and believe that God created us. That He truly breathed the spark of life into us, then you should also believe that the Divine resides or dwells within us. It is what gives some people premonitions, ESP, do miraculous things. It also gives us the ability to access the knowledge that was granted in that one act of disobedience the "Knowledge of Good and Evil". That everything and anything is possible and that it is all within us. It is a gift as much as a curse, it can be used to benefit all of mankind or can be used to subjugate and destroy like Hitler tried to do.
I encourage you to take the spiritual and philosophical journey with me. To pray and meditate on all things. Because the knowledge and wisdom is within us, reachable and usable. Wrap the knowledge you have with wisdom, explore all thins, remember what Mr. Webster said, "Wisdom is the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring." Learn all you can and use good judgement.
The road of life is filled with many mysteries, we have the ability to solve them, understand them, comprehend them and use them to better ourselves and society as a whole.
As always y hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Thank you for helping me realize my dream. I published entries 100 and 101 today. It is all because of your encouragement and support. God bless you and keep you safe. I hope you will continue to read.
Thanks a million!
Bryan :-)
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