Memories

As we look back across our lives it is amazing at the things that spring to mind. A simple song can evoke the sweetest memories, that can bring a brilliant smile to your face. Passing a  familiar spot can herald a bright spot in an otherwise dreary day. But memories are funny things,  they often become colored by time. Even the worst experiences don't look so bad after time has passed by.

Most of my friends seem to pass through life, never taking stock of the people, places and things that they encounter.  One friend said today that he keeps moving forward never looking back at anything. He feels that he can't keep up his forward momentum if he is constantly looking backwards.  While he has a valid point. I tend to think a little differently on a minor particulars.

Like most people when his relationships end, he keeps it moving. In almost every instance I can think of if a relationship ends there were issues that were the caused it to end. Those same issues are more than likely still be there if the person comes back into your life.  But,  that doesn't mean that you have to write that person out of your life totally.

True good friends are few and far between.  Each one of us don't have so many friends that we can afford to write any of them off. I have remained friends with the majority of my ex's, because the shared history that we have are what have bound us together and is the basis of our friendship.  There have been 1 or 2 instances where I have tried to rekindle a past relationship. But like I said earlier, there were issues that we felt so strong about that caused us to go our separate ways, and they always seem to crop back up.

Relationships that are founded on mutual respect and trust have a foundation that's worth investing time in and are the easiest to convert to a lasting friendship. It is important to keep in mind that every person that has come into your life was brought there for a specific reason. We grow and learn from each other, we have a need that the other filled in some fundamental way.

You may be wondering why in an entry about memories would I digress to talk about friendships and relationships?  The truth of the matter is that each and every person who enters your life touches you in a fundamental way, memories of these people, places and events are indelibly written in your subconscious which at some point become memories.

Memories are precious things and they evoke an emotional response when they pop in our minds.  Like I said at the beginning of the post time can make even the most terrible experience seem not so terrible when you look back.  Be careful because if you compare new experiences to a remembered experience you might think that the past was better and be unhappy.  Which just might make you think that nothing will ever be able to compete with your past and you might miss out on something truly remarkable.

People all around you see what you are going through and how you deal with life's situations and problems.  You might be surprised at how your actions and reactions to certain situations inspires and gives another a sense of hope and peace.  Beacause no matter what you are actually going through there are others out there going through something similar or maybe even worse and they see how you are handling it and it gives them that extra push to help them make it through.  Remember always that a casual conversation can take you somewhere that you never thought you would ever go.  Random encounters can inspire and give hope to others and who knows might bring someone into your life at the right moment to help you through as well.

Memories are not perfect and they are a snapshot of time from our own unique perspective.  Plus, keep in mind that someone else's memory of an event might not even be close to what you remember because each of us filter things differently and are truly seen from our own perspective.

Remember the good times, the in between times and the bad times, in the end as you look back over time you will be amazed at the things you have come through, survived and have learned.  These are pieces of shared history between you and whoever you were with and they can never be taken away from you.  If you are embarking on a new relationship try your best not to compare it to your past relationships, because one of you is always going to feel that they can't compete with the past because to them your rememberance focuses mainly on the good and positive times.

Everyone deserves their own chance, remember your past fondly, be proud of what you have accomplished and have learned, know that you have survived and been strengthened by each and every event.  Hold on to your memories share them when appropriate and find your true happiness within your heart and mind.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Bigger than Life

Today has been all about a very dear friend of mine that I will never forget.  Someone that never had much but was happy and content with everything she had.  She wasn't self-conscious, vain, or envious. She was brutally honest, courageous, and magnanimous.  Was never to busy to talk, had great shoulders to cry on, and a smile that lit up the room.  She always saw the good in people, never found fault, never stayed down for long and always had a kind smile, warm heart for anyone that came into her life.  She was a very dynamic force and one that couldn't be contained in one body.  Maybe that is the reason why God took her so young!

Her memorial service was today and so many people got up and spoke her praises.  She had a personality that was larger than life.  She wanted to change the world and strove to do so with her volunteering with the Positive Champions Speakers Bureau.  All she ever wanted was to change one persons life, to reach one person with her story. But she impacted each and everyone of us that knew her. Mary was the embodiment of warmth, sun, caring, love and sharing.

She traveled all over telling her story over and over again to groups and individuals alike. She didn't care what others thought, she only cared about what she was fighting for.  She dreamed of a world where there was no such thing as HIV or AIDS and fought towards that end.  She would make you laugh, cry and even shake your head in disbelieve because she was bold and courageous.  Whatever she felt she said.

Souls are attracted by vibration and not by looks, and Mary taught me that.  It didn't matter to her what you looked like, or how you dressed we were all the same to her.  When two souls resonate together they recognize each other and form a bond of friendship and love.  I still remember how she flirted with everyone and didn't care what they thought about it.  She lived in the moment and nothing could take that love of life away from her.

I was fortunate to live close to Mary.  I got to see her a lot, we also talked a lot on the phone and she helped me through some very difficult times in my life.  She had a light inside of her that drew people close, her personality was such that once you were in her orbit you were her friend.  That light inside of her could drive away the darkness and for a brief moment when she was around you knew that anything was possible.

Yet, in the end God chose to take her from this earth and bring her home.  I have mixed emotions about that.  See, I depended on her guidance and her words of encouragement when my life got into some tough spots.  I don't have anyone like that anymore, she was it.  I am going to miss our talks and how she boosted me up and never tore me down.

So what would I like to say to Mary?  Well, I would tell her thanks for taking the time to teach me how to embrace my own Awesomeness and reminding me that everything we do, is building us towards something else.  She saw ahead of her that there were endless possibilities and  opportunities to share her testimony and her story.  When I say that Mary was larger than life, I mean exactly what I have said. She was bigger than life, she radiated warmth and acceptance with the greatest of ease and she gave great big bear hugs.  She wasn't afraid to touch you, nor tell you about yourself if you were in the wrong.  She lived in the moment and by doing so she achieved what most of us envied.  An openness to talk, a freedom to express exactly what she needed to when she needed too. She was comfortable with herself, her situation, her looks, and everything that made her up.  I admired her honest, conviction and courage and I hope that just a little of each of those has rubbed off on me.

She gave hope where there was fear, she gave love unconditionally and expected nothing in return.  Though she may be gone, I don't think it will ever be possible to forget her. She had a great impact on so many of our lives.  For that alone I know she will live on forever in each and everyone of us.

Thank you for keeping her family and friends in your prayers.  What more can I say, Mary saw a world in which change was possible and she struggled to help bring it about.  I can't tell you how grateful I am that she chose me to be a part of her family.  She helped and loved beyond any situation.  She was so full of light and life that it was nearly blinding to look at her at times.  She knew what she wanted and set about trying to get it. A spirit of a lion and the heart of a lamb.

I am going to miss you so much, but I know now that she is with me everywhere and I remember the words she told me when my partner left me and did all those things to hurt me. "You deserve better than that Bryan, you deserve to be happy".  Now, I know that the secret to happiness is found only with ourselves and no where else.  Thank you for reminding me of that.  I am jealous or even envious of her, see it was so easy for her to talk, to get her story out. She wasn't afraid, because there is no reason to fear the truth.  Again, thank you for the lesson Mary!

Oh yes, I have a voice and I write in that voice, but speaking I tremble on the inside.  She told me over and over again, to just be yourself and it will all work out. Guess what she was right and I am still here today.  She didn't have transportation much of the time I knew her, but it didn't limit her much. She still made it to Group and Positive Champions meetings.  I don't think I have ever seen her discouraged for more than a minute. She never gave up on anyone!  She always saw their goodness and she brought that out in all of those around her.

When I say bigger than life that was Mary. Yes it was and I think that she burned so brightly to everyone around her that her poor body just couldn't handle all of it.  When I tell you that she loved, she did!  She loved Gay Men! She Loved Children! She Loved to talk! She loved to hug everyone! So today was Mary's day and will remain for me till tomorrow. Today was a day that was sad, somber, yet funny and exciting as well.  I have a heavy heart because of the loss of my friend but a big ole smile on my face as I sit here and remember.

You maybe wondering why I am telling you all about my friend and her life and what she meant to me.  So, let me tell you that there are lesson here that you can learn from. Something each and everyone of us can use in our daily lives.  You may not believe me, and I am not sure that I do yet myself, but I think as all of us gathered today to remember our dear friend something magical and wonderful happened.  We were reminded that life is fleeting, and that we need to cherish those around us.  We need to surround ourselves with family of our own choosing, be inclusive of everyone, fear nothing, accept everything, live in the moment, cherish the life you have and what you got.  Take back your power, live for yourself and throw your hands and heads up in the air, don't care what others think of you. Just do you and everything else will fall in place.

What can you learn from Mary?  Everything there is to know about life and living.  Learn something new everyday, share it with those you love and those you don't know. Live in the moment, experience everything with baby fresh eyes, those eyes of wonder that still see the magic in the world.  Keep those you resonate with close to you, because like souls attract like souls.  Stay positive, focused and tell your story to anyone who will listen.  Everyone has a story to tell and you never know where a casual conversation might lead you.  Seek the goodness in others, freely give kindness to those you love and give love to those that love you.  Speak your mind and your heart will follow, don't filter out anything.  Someone described Mary today as having the gift of Transparency and I think that is a place where we should all strive to be.  You never had to guess what Mary was thinking or feeling you could see it and feel it.  That is what is meant by being transparent.  We are all given a voice and we must learn how to use it. Your story is unique just as was mine and Mary's but there might be someone out there that needs to hear it. You may save someones life, or your words might heal their hurting soul.  Your story could change 1 persons life and like Mary said "If I can reach or help or change one person than I have accomplished my task".  Mary changed a lot of lives, so many hearts, and will live on with each of us who knew her.

But, now my friends as you read what I am writing about  her, she will also live in you.  You may not have met her, you may never have seen her. But you know her spirit, her heart, and the magical way she changed the lives of each and everyone of us that came in contact with her.  Please take away from this entry if nothing else, one person can inspire change in the world. Yes, you can. All it takes is you to find your voice, tell your story, and live your life like Mary lived hers.  Trust me.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you!

Uncle B

You know secrets come with a price, they aren't free not now not ever!

You know we have been talking a lot about life and relationships, but have you ever thought what the cost of a secret does to the relationship?  See it is true that secrets and lies are not free, they come with a cost, not only to you, but to the ones you love and the ones you are trying to protect.  With lies and secrets comes a certain air of mistrust and that puts a strain on the relationship.  You can't expect someone to trust you if there is something in the way of that trust and that is what secrets are. When you are secretive you start acting a certain way and others can tell that you are hiding something.  They begin to wonder what it is that you don't want them too know.  From there leads to speculation and ultimately they begin to doubt everything you are saying to them.  Curiosity is a trait that is not only confined to cats you know, human curiosity is something that never ceases.  Why do you think mystery novels are so popular.  Everyone loves a good mystery and they try to figure it out way before they ever know the whole plot.

Try to keep in mind that secrets have a toll on you too, they add stress and worry to your life, and once you start keeping them either by hiding them with lies or by silence, it starts to truly add weight on your shoulders. Once you start telling lies you have to keep telling them in order to keep them hidden.  It becomes a never ending task and sooner or later someone is going to catch you at it.  When they do there goes the trust that you have built up with them.  Life is too short to have secrets and lies in your life.  Especially if you are in a relationship.  How can a person really know you if you are keeping things back from them.  As I have always told you communication is the key and honesty is what is important.  Being honest not only to your loved ones and family, but you always need to be totally honest with yourself.  I know sometimes it seems easier to rationalize and lie to yourself, but at the end of the day you know what really happened and no matter how many lies you tell yourself it is not going to change the situation.

That is another thing about hiding the truth and lies, it ties you to them. How can you move forward if you are carrying around baggage of the past?  Lies and secrets keep you firmly rooted to a story that just isn't true and you continually are brought back to it.  You have to keep covering it up, and like I said lies upon lies is like building a house of cards, sooner or later one wrong move is going to bring the whole thing crashing down on you. Again, for your own peace of mind and that of the ones you care about you need to put everything out in the open. If you do that you will find that there is less stress in your life, and that if you stick together you can overcome any obstacle.  Like they say 2 heads are better than one. Don't isolate yourself and keep yourself from truly experiencing love with another person because of lies.  Secrets and lies are the same thing, believe me I know all about them.  I used to do Meth, and that is a drug that manipulates the brain.  Some people think more clearly on it and the lies they tell just to get the next hit or fix can leave your head spinning.  The trouble is most people can see through those lies and see you for what you are and what you are doing, but your head is so filled with the drug you never even realize.

Don't take the risk of being alienated by your friends and family because you are trying to hide something.  For years I didn't speak to my parents, because I was doing drugs, and was partying all the time, but also because I didn't want them to know what I was into.  They knew because my ex told them.  He told them when he thought I had gotten out of control. I was confronted by my mother, of course I denied it. It was my secret and I didn't want her to know.  Then I got arrested for possession, however, in that case I was telling the truth that it wasn't my stuff, however because my parents knew about the drug use and I had denied it, they didn't believe me. Luckily I got off of the charges, but it isn't something that I am willing to go through again.  Hence the reason why I put everything out on the web. I have nothing to hide anymore. I have come to far and lived through too much to go back and start hiding who I really am now.  See the truth of the matter is when Sterling and I were dating he and I did way more drugs than we should have.  We were doing so much that others couldn't believe it.  It wasn't a proud time of my life let me tell you.  When we both came to realize how much we were really doing and how utter ridiculous we had been, and what risks we had taken, we both cut way back, but hadn't quit entirely.

Then later on it started coming to light to everyone around us about how much we did. It was even thrown in my face a couple of times by a number of people that I had gotten so many people hooked on the stuff.  Do you know how scary it is to find out that you were responsible for hundreds of young men shooting up Meth?  Over and over again I hear how "oh, I know Bryan, he was the one that taught me how to slam"  That is not a fond reputation that I like having.  I was always safe, made sure that people knew what they were doing and how to mix up the stuff.  I also stayed with them and provided them a safe place to do the stuff, but that isn't the point. The point is I may have ruined a great many of lives just by teaching them slamming.  Meth is not a drug to play with lightly, it is not physically addicting like heroin, it alters the brain, and is a mental addiction that is extremely hard to break. You can be away from it for years and still think about the feeling, you still get the longing for it. I don't know how else to explain, but it is true. I don't think you ever truly escape it's grasp.  But as I have told you in the past, you can't escape your past! What was hidden and done in the dark always comes to light!

I cannot change my past, the only thing I can do is try to make the right choices in the future and move forward.  I have to let go of the past no matter how hard that is. One of the reasons why people hold on to the past is because they tend to remember it better than it was, and they view the present harder than it really is.  It is always nicer to compare what is happening in our lives with the past, we have a tendency to make it out that things were better back then, but in actuality they were probably pretty much the same.  The difficulty level only changes when we learn to change the way we look at things.  We have a tendency to make up stories and hide the truth of things when we are not satisfied with what we have or where we are at in life.  What happens then is that the lies spin out of our control and before we know it you are defending something that isn't real.

Life is what we make out of it, as I have told you before. If we constantly embellish, lie or be secretive about ourselves how can we expect anyone to ever get to know the real you?  How can you honestly find someone that can love you?  Do you want to be alone forever?  I know that I don't.  Even now I am hoping against hope that someone will find me and love me for the person I am.  I used to live a life of lies and deceit but now I put everything out in the open for the world to see. I don't have any secrets to hide. I have lost too much in my life because of lying and secrets. I want to be free of that and find love and happiness.  Which if you refer back to my earliest post you know that I know that happiness is found within ones self.  But I also think that you can find happiness in another person. One that makes you better than you are and inspires you to do more than you have before.  That is the type of love I want.

Do yourself a favor, when you meet someone new that you are interested in, be yourself, your true self.  Don't embellish, make up stuff to make yourself look better.  Just be who you are.  Be sincere and genuine.  I honestly think you will be much better off for it.  Secrets and lies cost so much and will damage your relationship way faster than anything else.  Be honest with yourself and the other person.  Earn their trust and respect. Be their friend and confidant and trust me everything else will fall into place.

Try and remember that no secret is ever free, not now not ever!

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Courage and Fear what does it mean?

I was on Google + a little while ago, and a blog popped up that peaked my interest because I had selected the topic of Courage and Fear.  So I read Jodi Arman's Blog entry "The Evolutionary Roots of Fear".  Her blog supports what I have always thought about the irrationality of fear and the development of the fight or flight mechanism in the human brain. As mammals, we have an instinctual propensity when we sense danger to tense up, fear creeps in and we either flee or fight depending on how we gauge our opponent.

Her blog goes on to state based on Sharon Begley's Newsweek article entitled "Roots of Fear" that our brain is hard-wired to override the logic cortex when we are afraid.  Basically what Sharon states is that the fear circuitry has more pathways to the aymgdala versus the logical thought cortex and allows the fear to over-ride thought. In a sense this is true in non-sentient creatures but we can think and override those fears, or we can brave through. I believe that this is a simplistic view not taking into consideration the complexities of the entire nervous system.  As I have pointed out in a previous blog entry, fear triggers a response in the autonomic and sympathetic nervous systems and which activates our fight or flight mechanism. Adrenalin floods our system muscles tense and our mind enters a hyper-arousal, where time seems to slow, pupils dilate, and the mind notices the minute movement of our opponent.  More about this can be found under the topic of Fight-or-flight response on wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response.

I honestly believe that Sharon Begley has a point in her Newsweek article that there is an ingrained and instinctual drive that has been bred into us from our earliest days.  That man has a hard-wired brain that reacts when it senses fear or danger.  However, I think that this hard-wired response is also responsible for the body's neurological and physiological reactions as well. The Nervous System plays a major part in the way we handle the situation we are in.  I also think that because we have the ability to think we can override these fears just like Jodi Arman's blog states.

But, I would like to carry this conversation a bit further than the brain, and nervous systems response, because I think as thought enters the picture we have the ability to overcome those fears.  Which is what I call courage.  Courage doesn't mean that we don't have fears or get afraid, it means that we have the ability to defeat fear.  We can defeat fear as Jodi suggest by thinking it through, or by acting through it.  You can find out more by reading her blog at http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2012/08/evolutionary-roots-of-fear/ .

Fear is a very powerful motivator, and it can grip us and paralyze us, but we do have the ability to out think it, we have the ability to confront it and work past it, and eventually defeat it.  There are tons of stories how a fireman rushes into a burning building and rescues someone, that firefighter had to confront his fears in an instant and react to the situation with lightening speed to make that rescue.  I honestly don't think that fear overrides the mind and locks us into inaction, on the contrary it is fear that causes us to look at the situation in a hyper accelerated manner and react and accomplish amazing things.

I do believe that primitive man may have been hard wired to the point where their sense of logic and reasoning was overwhelmed, but in our time I think that evolution has honed our senses and our reflexes to the point where our brain immediately assess the threat and reacts almost in an instant.  You can also find out more about the sympathetic nervous system at  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_nervous_system .  I encourage you to do some research yourself on this.

I believe that body is a marvelous machine that is powered by the most sophisticated computers the world has ever seen, the human brain.  I believe that the brain is more powerful than we give it credit for, and though the primitive responses that Sharon describes most certainly do happen, a whole array of reactions takes place at the same time.  Remember that as the brain recognizes a threat or danger, adrenalin is released into the blood stream the somatic nervous system http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_nervous_system contracts the muscles causing them to tense, ready to spring into either flight or fight, they sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive and allows the brain to enter a state of hyper awareness and from there we react.

I hope you understand from this that I believe that it is possible for us as humans to overcome our fears, whether they are rational or irrational by confronting them and working through them.  Further, I believe that it is courage that gives us the ability to accomplish this.  This doesn't mean that we don't get afraid or suffer from fear, but that we can overcome it and be victorious against it.  I don't believe that our logic centers are totally overridden and we are locked into a state of panic and cannot think our way through the situation.

As I have said, please take the time to do some research on this on your own and draw your own conclusion.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

What would you do if you knew the world was ending?

I was watching a movie called "4:44" last night and it was about the world's last day, it is told from the point of view of an artist and a writer and how they spend their last day on earth.  It got me thinking on what I would do if I knew that the world was ending at a specific time.  I am not sure I could have handled the news of impending doom with such grace and conviction.  Facing my own mortality has been enough of a struggle and I am thankful for the knowledge that no one knows the time or manner of my demise.  I like the fact that the doctor's don't know if I am going to live or die tomorrow, that no matter their predictions and worrying and all their tests they cannot narrow down enough to give me a date and time that I may leave this earth.

For years now I have been beating the odds that have been stacked against me, and even when I longed  for deaths embrace it wouldn't even come.  You would be surprised at the depths and lengths I went to  trying to make my end come forth.  I did everything you can imagine to put my life in risk.  I even lived on the street for several months, knowing full well that my health was in peril.  See I had found out in October of 2011 that my kidneys had begun to fail and yet I chose the path that I was on and did nothing to change it direction.  In my reckless haste I ended up loosing two of my dear and closest friends, my two dogs Skylar and Madison.  I had left Texas to try and save Madison and all I did was postpone the inevitable. I got back to Atlanta the 3rd of January and by November they were taken from me and put to sleep.  I wish things could have been different, but due to circumstances and choices I have made I sealed their fate and have to live with those consequences for the rest of my days.

Even now, knowing that my life is not going to get any different and that it is just a matter of time till end up dying. I hope that I have the grace and courage to face the end with dignity.  See even after all my reckless abandon I am not sure that I really want to die.  Even now, I am working with my doctor's to try and figure out the next steps in my healthcare and how they are going to address kidney failure and the advancing Hepatitis C.  I believe that the next steps since my surgery was a failure, is going to be a series of dialysis and interferon treatments to address Hep C.  But again, going to have to wait and see what they offer on July 9th.

What all of you don't know is that my struggle has been a silent one, and one that was hidden from most people that were not close to me.  I kept hidden from everyone around me the depths of my despair and surrounded myself with others who were as damaged and hurt as I was.  These people accepted my drug use as being a part of them and not some design in a greater scheme of personal destruction. I would like you all to know that something amazing happened on this journey, it was an unexpected development and something that I never thought could possibly happen.  People started looking at me with eyes of respect.  Admiring my will to survive and the courage to continue to fight.  What I kept hidden was my overwhelming desire to through it all in.  I had been fighting this battle for 20 years and I am tired. However, as I started talking to others and finding out the strength and courage they were taking from my experiences, I knew that I had to continue that there was a lesson here that needed to be taught.  So after learning all of this I gathered my courage around me and made a call to my dad.  I told him about my health condition and the severity of it.  He offered to let me come and stay with him and my step mom for awhile till I get back on my feet.

I wasn't here even a month when I had to have emergency surgery because my colon ruptured in 2 places.  I have had 4 surgeries since March and I am still here.  I am still fighting and I have taken up several causes to help shift my mental focus and energies towards others who are in need.  So here is the crux of the matter of this entry, do you want to live your life with love, laughter, grace and dignity?  I know that I do.  I want to live my life as an example to show others that life continues and goes on even in the face of terminal illness and disease.  I want others to know that life and living is a matter of the mind, even if your world seems to be collapsing around your ears. Positive thinking and personal involvement in living are necessary to achieve a lasting and fulfilling life. Remember your family and love them because Life is not worth living without family.

Self destruction and a defeatist attitude cannot win out if you stay positive and strong in your beliefs.  It is important to remember yourself and those who are with you in your struggles.  You never know that when you see someone it might be the last time you ever get to see them.  Live life every day like it is your last one, and take time to always enjoy those around you and appreciate them, because they are struggling with you and feel a pain as deep or deeper than you can imagine.  They struggle and rail against what is happening to you and they watch on helplessly knowing that they can do nothing but be there for you.  Tell them thank you and you appreciate the sacrifices they are making for you and tell them how much they have made your life so much easier.  Everyone needs to be loved and appreciated and you need to recognize the struggles they are going through with you and alone.  Sometimes they feel so overwhelmed and burdened to the breaking point.  Give them a hug, a kiss, a shout of recognition will go a long way to ease their pain and burden. Trust me I know what I am talking about here.

So again I ask you what would you do if you knew the world was ending?  I know what I am going to do, and what I have been doing since I found out how sick I really was.  I am reaching out across the miles and the hurt and the pain to those who suffered with me and cared for me.  Whose life's are entangled with mine, and without whom I wouldn't be here today.  I know I cannot thank them enough, I cannot make up for the past hurts, but I can move on knowing that I have made my peace with them and have thanked them and acknowledged everything that they did for me.  I want every day that I live to be full of nothing but laughter, love and joy, and I want to bring that and so much more to everyone around me.  I ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and I ask that you look inward to yourself, and take the time to smell the roses, acknowledge those around you, sincerely see the choices and sacrifices they have made for you and tell them thank you and how much you love them.

Keep a smile on your face, joy in your heart and positive outlook on the future and you never ever know how long that is going to be. You might be like me and outlive all the dire predictions and doomsayers and you could and probably will out live them all.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B