Checks and balances

Most actions and decisions have severe consequences these are the checks and balances that keep our lives in check.

However, there are some actions that can call for jail time. I am going through a really tough time right now and I am not sure what the outcome is going to be. I made a bad choice and I am now between a rock and a hard place.

This afternoon a detective came to the house to talk to me about a check that I cashed at Amscot. Unfortunately, I didn't want to get anyone in trouble so I only told part of the story. I know that the detective could tell that the story wasn't complete and he thought that I was lying about a lot of the story. I did have to drop a name, but I was trying to protect everyone, what I might have done is seal my own fate and could possibly end up having to do some time in jail.

I was given 2 days to get one of the other people to talk to the detective and to reveal more of the details to the story to convince the detective that I had absolutely nothing to do with the robbery and that I was used as a dupe to cash the check. Luckily I did not cash more than one check. If I would have I would be in so much more trouble than I am now.

I am here to tell you that no matter what you do, there are natural checks and balances in place that keep our lives in check and helps preserve the natural order of things. I am hoping that with all of my medical issues and other concerns that the court will be willing to work with me and allow me to escape this charge with the absolute minimum consequence.

As always, Live well, Love much and laugh often.

Uncle B

Wow i have been living in it!

It is funny because someone asked me yesterday why it seems that I keep going back? Back to Atlanta, back to ex-boyfriends, back to people who hurt me?  You know I didn't have an answer ready for that question. As a matter of fact I didn't sleep much last night at all because my mind kept mulling over that question. No matter what I did or tried to do, I couldn't get my mind to shut off at all and so I laid in bed and I thought and I thought.  This was  a troubling thought because I had just written an entry about letting go and leaving it alone.  But the hours wore on and still no answer came to me.  It wasn't until I was in the shower that I heard the answer to my unspoken request.  It is funny that when God chooses to answer you it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing.  So I was in the shower washing my hair when I heard the answer like someone was there talking to me.

Some of you have known me since high school, others from just out of school, others more recently, then there are the people that have never met me except through my blog.  I may never get to meet some of you, and others I have, but the long and the short of it is I have been living in fear. That is right I have been letting FEAR hold me back and not let me move totally forward like I should have been doing.  See the fear of rejection has had me captive, my body and my mind have been willing participants in this war of attrition that I am apparently losing.  I have written to you before about my inner feelings and how I felt that my life as a gay man was over.  I now had scars both internal and external. I had the colostomy bags and stomas to contend with as well as trying to figure out a way to hide the colostomy bag that I now have to wear constantly. Fear can keep you locked firmly in one place if you let it. Which apparently I have done for years and didn't even knowing that I was doing it. I knew that I didn't like them and it took a long time to come to accept that they were now a part of my daily life and I would have it always and forever.

Not only were the bags the thing that was holding me back but my mind played into that battle as well. I had to come to accept myself all the changes in all, before I could hope to have someone else find me attractive.  But I have finally come to grips with both my illness as well.  See, I don't believe that an individual has the ability to change, I believe that we adapt and grow to accept certain things, but I don't think we change at all. The core being of who you are remains intact and only the barest of outside changes to the eyes of others.  I call this evolving.  We adapt and change to the environment we are in so that we can survive and make the most of what we have at our disposal.

It has just been in the past few days that I have become comfortable with myself and the bags that I can talk about them freely, I can now educate others on them and how to use them.  Before I would hide them any way. I would put them under ace bandages and clothing, so no one could see them if they looked at me.  But the excess of clothing and the ace bandage made me sweat in the Florida heat, and for no good reason as I would sweat the adhesive on the bag would start to come off.  Also if I showered and didn't dry the adhesive quite thoroughly with a hair dryer it would also start to come off of my skin.  But, now that I have come to grips with my situation and have realized that there is absolutely nothing I can do about the condition.  I can tell you about it and show you but it is the one thing that is keeping me alive and well at the moment, and I believe that it is important for me to continue doing that since I believe that God still has some more for me to do.

So what am I talking about?  I am telling you that I couldn't move forward, I was stuck and kept looking backward.  I know that I have been telling all of you that you can't move forward if your eyes are constantly looking backward, and you also can't move forward if you are carrying the baggage of the past with you.  I did not realize that I was always looking backward till a friend of mine pointed it out.  So just like the entry that I wrote to you the other day that sometimes we don't know what we have and it has been there all the time and right under our nose.  Here I was doing what I was telling you not too and the answer has always been right there under my nose.

Fear can paralyze you and keep you from taking a step forward or backward.  You become motionless and nothing you do will allow you to move from that exact spot.  So my fear of rejection and acceptance because of the colostomy bag and the scars that I have on my chest, may be real, but it is something that I can let go of.  I have come to accept me for me, and I don't really care what other people have to say about what I have been through.  I swear that I have taken the blinders off of my eyes and I have stopped looking downward, and I see so many things now that I never saw before.  But beyond all of that I have come to realize that my friend was right and I have been hiding and craving the past to return. However, the problems that caused you and your ex to break up are still going to be there. So it never works out exactly as planned. I am no longer afraid, and I have decided to put my heart and my life back out there and see what happens.

I had told my best friend that I have given up on love, and I am just looking for a companion that I can go to the movies with and who wants to hang out with me.  I have grown and my knowledge has increased and with that I think that I can move on and finally leave the past exactly where it belongs in the past.

As always my hopes and dreams are going to have to take the backseat as I start chemotherapy on April 10, 2015.  I hope you will you will read and get it right from the beginning. Please don't make the same mistakes I have made. Look around you the person you are looking for is right there in front of you. Neither one of you may even be aware of it.  But sooner later the love that you feel will be get stronger and before you know it will be in full bloom.

My concerns are real, the gay community is all about the looks, and guess what I don't have them anymore since of all the surgeries.  I know that I probably will never find someone that would be able to accept me for me and look beyond the illness's and scars that I have. But I am content in the knowledge that I have had it, been it and done it.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Positive Affirmations

I know that last summer we talked a great deal about positive thinking, positive energy, and positive living.  We also talked about words and how they have power, they can either build or destroy depending on their usage.  But, as I have found out over this year, these same words of power can have meaning all to themselves and can benefit you in your daily life.  I call these affirmations, these are sayings that you tell yourself over and over again.  You can post them on your mirror, or somewhere where you will see them often, and everytime you do say them aloud.  These are positive tips that will help you, they will also help you maintain and keep your positive mental attitude for the day.

Remember that the more positive you put out in the world the more positive you get back.  Just like everything else in life if you live what you say you are going to go far.  Trust me when I tell you this.  Many self-help teachers and authors will tell you that if you want to be successful you must live and breathe the part, the same is true with keeping a positive mental outlook.  If you want to be positive you must live and be positive, there is no other way.

I have read books that tell you if you want to be a vice president of a company you must dress and act the part.  This is important, the image that you create for yourself is in effect a construct of creative visualization.  If you can imagine yourself in the part, you can manifest it in your life.  The same thing is true by you using affirmations.  If you tell yourself every morning that you are perfect and love yourself, eventually you will.  I have told my friend who has major self-esteem problems that maybe he should get a tatoo around his collarbone that says LOVE THYSELF, but backwards so that each time he looks at himself in the mirror or takes a picture of himself he sees it.  The more you see it and repeat it, the more energy you put into it and before you know it you are manifesting it in your life.

As I have told you before, one way that I prepare myself for the day is I get up every morning and I count my blessings one by one, and then I give thanks that I am able to live another day.  My same friend that I mentioned above does something very similar except he says a prayer.  Basically he thanks God for granting him another day and he says it seven times.  I am not sure what the significance of 7 is to him, but I know that it brings him that much closer to God each and every time he says it.

Affirmations are simple little phrases or sayings that you can post on your walls at work, mirror, monitor or other places that your eyes look every day.  They can be little things like "Smile You are Loved" or "Love thyself" or "Be Happy" or even "Today is a brand new beginning with no mistakes".  Remember the more you say them, the more you begin to believe them and that gives them power.

No one should be able to make your feelings about yourself change. Others shouldn't be able to make you feel any certain way.  Have confidence and self assurance that you know what you are doing and trust me it will show in everything you do.  People respect and appreciate those that are confident and strong.  When you make a decision stick with it.  These are things that will help you grow and mature.

When someone else changes your mood or makes you feel inferior or self conscious you have given them way too much power over you and I beg you to take it back from them.  Because they aren't doing you any good and adding much more stress to your day and your life.  March to your own drum and keep your own goals and desires in the forefront of your mind.  It is the only way to actually live.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

My Testimony (Why I am So Very Thankful)

As I look back over the past year I am amazed at what I have been through and have endured.  But I didn't do it all on my own, and on this evening before Thanksgiving, I want to give you my testimony, share with you the incredible journey that I have found myself on this entire year.  I am sure that each of you will be inspired and amazed at what we can endure, what we can learn, and most importantly what drives us on in the face of tremendous odds.  This blog has been an extension of who I am at this phase of my life, I hold nothing back and reveal my entire personal life here.  It has been a blessing for me to share those things with you.  Be patient with me, some of this stuff might be something you have heard before, if you have been reading the blog religiously.  However, as with all my writing new things are always revealed.  There are always lessons to be learned, heard and found in everything I write.

I am going to start with today and work my way backward in time towards the beginning of the year.  This morning I woke up at 5:30 am which is highly unusual for me.  I am normally not a morning person at all, but for some reason I have woken up early for the past three days.  I have to tell you that in the morning I am usually non functional, it takes me sometime to get myself together and motivated to start the day, however for the past three days I have popped up wide awake, and filled with the most amazing joy and believe it or not a song in my heart.  This morning I got up and immediately started listening to my new favorite song "Restless", I actually played it three times singing with it each time, and as I sang my heart and spirit just soared.  Before I knew it I looked up and it was 10:30 in the morning.  I had done my traditional Facebook good morning and greetings to my friends and associates on Facebook and had planned to just sit on the new couch and chill for a little bit.  I had decided that since it was the day before the holiday that I was just going to relax and wasn't going to worry about the open enrollment for medicare today. That I would take care of it next week.  To my utter amazement I got on my laptop in the living room and before I knew it I was looking at medicare plans in my area.  I actually clicked on a link and it took me to a page that compared all the different plans in my area.  I looked over the information and got an idea of what I was looking at, was sort of undecided when my cellphone rang and it was a lady from the company who hosted the website, my information was routed to her and so she called me.  We talked for a few minutes and I explained what I was looking for, and she started pulling up stuff on her end and talking to me about all the different plans.  Now during our conversation a lot of information came out about my various medical conditions and concerns that I had that needed to be addressed by whatever new plan that I got.  The woman's name was Marcia, and she stopped me and told me that she just needed to tell me that I sounded so upbeat and positive despite everything I was going through and proceeded to tell me what a pleasure it was to talk to me.  How, just by speaking with me and hearing the positive attitude and happiness in my voice had made her week and was going to make her Thanksgiving that much memorable.  This actually touched me in a very deep way.

See we never know where any casual conversation we have with someone else is going to take us, how our words, confidence and happiness can be heard through the phone line, and how that is going to affect or influence another person.  How just being yourself and having a smile on your face can carry through your voice and be delivered to the person on the other end of the line.  See we never know who might be looking at us, watching us, and finding inspiration from us.  Eyes and ears are all around you, and we may never know how many lives are touched and influenced just by our passing by them.  Which is why I tell you to live as you believe, let your light shine around you, and let your joy and happiness wash out into the world.  Remember that even though you might not see them, they can see you.   As I have told you this has been a long year, full of difficulties, encounters, connections, crossings and even a couple of brushes with death.  It  has taught me that there is so much in the world that I don't understand yet, and so much to learn, but on the opposite side of that coin there is so much to teach, talk about and put out to others.  I have learned that nothing is ever truly what it seems and that miracles do exist and happen in our daily lives, and if we are too busy to notice they may just pass us by unnoticed.  There is beauty and majesty in everything around us, there is wonder and adventure in every encounter we have, again we might have to look for it, but it is there. Every new day brings lessons and understanding if we are open and receptive to hear them.  Nothing you do is transparent, you aren't as invisible as you might wish you were.  People see you, interact with you, listen to you and might be inspired by you. You just never know!

I learned the trouble of misconceptions and preconceived notions about others, I learned that some people can be biased and judgmental and never give you a chance, because they think they know you, and you might do the same to them.  I learned how if you are not paying attention to those around you, how easily it can be to miss the hand of love and acceptance they are extending to you.  I also learned that if you don't listen carefully to what someone is saying to you, and really hear the words they are speaking you might make the wrong assumptions.  You might be surprised at something someone says to you, and be even amazed and full of awe at the love they have for you and it was there right before your eyes the entire time.  I also learned that if you aren't careful with your feeling you might misplace them in the wrong person, and how during a simple conversation the truth will be revealed if you are listening with both your heart and your ears. The heart is hard to fool, trust me it can hear the words that are spoken and translate them into honest feelings if you let it.  Let me explain this too you and maybe you can understand what I am saying by this.  I met someone last fall and I really cared about that person and for most of the year I thought that me and this person were going to be together, get to know one another, and build a relationship together.  I moved from Atlanta to Ormond Beach in February and was talking to this person and trying to get him to come down with me.  But, every month there was another excuse, and a reason why he couldn't or wouldn't come.  He knew what I was going through and told me that he wished he could be here with me to help me go through my surgeries and illnesses but never came.  We hadn't talked in several months due to circumstances beyond both of our control, however during our first conversation when we reconnected recently, he asked about my surgery and when I explained that it didn't work out as was expected and that I would never be made whole again like I had hoped. He said isn't there something like a bionic colon or something else that they can try?  I grew quiet, he didn't ask me if I was alright with it, didn't tell me he was sorry to hear that it didn't go right, nor did he say anything like it's okay, don't worry we will make it through this together, nothing like that.

Now, let me talk to you about the other person in my life, my ex, when he found out how sick I was, which I sent him an email in March, the same time that the first person said he was going to come and then didn't, my ex called me immediately and this is what he said to me.  Oh my god Bryan and I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I don't want you to go through this alone, let me find out what I can do to get there.  I will call you on Friday and see if I can't be there that afternoon.  Mind you this is Wednesday afternoon when I got the call.   When he called on Friday I explained to him that I appreciated that he wanted to come and help me but that I was staying with my father and that there just wasn't room.  We stayed in touch since that day. Mind you I kept talking to the first person up until July when it wasn't possible any more, and my ex both during this time.  However the more my ex and I talked the more he revealed to me that he loved me and wanted me in his life.  He said to me that with all of the stuff medically that we had been through and how close both of us came to dying this past year, that he realized that he wanted to spend whatever remaining time we had left together whether it be a week or 20 years.  That we owed it too each other to be happy and that I truly understood him and made him happy.  Then in June when they tried to operate and the procedure failed and it became evident that I was going to be physically impaired for the rest of my life, he told me look it is okay, that he loved me anyway, he didn't care about all of that other stuff and that we would work through it together and not to worry.  Now keep in mind that I have been hurt in love before and I wanted to be sure.  Honestly, when he told me that he loved me I thought it was in a friendship sort of way, I actually  thought he was interested in someone else.  It took him several months of talking to me to convince me that I was the one that he wanted.  His words didn't sink in, we had both inadvertently hurt each other last year in Atlanta and when we separated I didn't ever think we would get back together much less talk.  However, when he reminded me of the events of the last day that we spent together, and what had happened and what was said and done that honestly convinced me that he wasn't bullshitting that he really did love me and cares for me.

I would say that I was conflicted and confused because I was interested and having feelings for both of them.  In a way I still do, however, my eyes have been opened to the difference between the two, and I know in my heart that I have love for both of them, I also know that there is only one that I am "In Love With".  It is through this revelation that I learned just how great the human heart is, and I am amazed at the abundance of love that it can have for others.  I have learned that everything we go through and endure makes us stronger and more able to deal with other things as they come up.  See, I moved back to Florida for several reasons, first, I had lost my apartment in Atlanta because of bad choices I had made, the drugs I was doing and the company I was keeping, and as a result of those decisions not only was my apartment lost, but my car was stolen, I ended up loosing all of my clothes, jewelry and possessions and my two beautiful dogs were taken from me and put to sleep.  I was devastated and living on the streets and if that wasn't enough I developed kidney stones and ended up spending a lot of time in the hospital.  Where it was revealed to me that I had renal disease, my kidneys were totally impaired by my HIV Drug regimen, and that if my condition didn't change I was going to need dialysis.  Second, was when I told my dad about my medical condition and all that was wrong with me he asked me point blank did that mean that I was dying.  At that point all the doctors and evidence pointed toward that as fact.  I had been told that I probably wouldn't make it to see next year.  So my dad and step-mom told me I could come and stay with them until I got on my feet.  Literally I left with just the clothing on my back and nothing else.

This my friends is just the beginning of the amazing journey and adventure that I was about to embark upon this year.  I wasn't here in Florida a week when I started urinating blood and running a fever, made several trips to the emergency room, and in March, keep in mind that I got off the bus from Atlanta in Daytona Beach on February 3, 2012, I ended up in the hospital and my colon ruptured in two places, and I was rushed into emergency surgery, kept in ICU for 9 days and wasn't released for 20 more days after that. I learned during that time that there was so much of my life that I needed to share with others, that I had been given so many lessons and that there was work for me to do yet.  I was delivered by God from death, and inspired to continue my work helping others, but this time from a safer distance and through a talent that had laid dormant long enough. I started my blog in April and have been writing ever since. I have met some very interesting characters, friends and acquaintances on this journey. Plus my time on the streets of Atlanta had taught me some very important lessons and survivor skills that I was lacking. My friends and family encouraged me to write my experiences, my lessons learned, and thoughts as well as the wisdom I had picked up during my life.  I had never imagined that it would take off like it has, I am read by over 400 readers a day, and my blog is translated and read in 27 countries around the world.  On top of that I get emails, phone calls, comments on my blog and on Facebook daily about how my life has been an inspiration too so many, that my words speak directly to some, and how easy it is to understand and comprehend what I write about.  But my friends there is still more, I am just beginning to understand life a little better with each passing day.  I comprehend more and see more now that my eyes have been opened toward the world and those around me.  I now understand that there is so much more to be seen and learned that lies just beyond the surface.  That new lessons are presented to me each day, new challenges that I have to rise too, and that nothing or no one can make me feel anything other than what I want to feel, if they do, then I have given them power over me and that isn't always a good thing.

Never in my life have I ever truly been on my own, I have always been in relationships or had others living with me.  This is the first time since I have moved out of my parents house at the age of 17 to join the Navy that I have truly lived and been on my own.  Now, I mean physically alone, I know that I am never truly alone that God and the Angels are watching over me and are always with me.  But, I have never had to entertain myself or lived without someone sharing the place with me.  This is new and it is interesting.  As I have learned more about myself and the lessons of life, I have begun to see the world and others differently.  I have begun to see just how different I am from others, that my positive attitude and sense of humor affect and infect others and how just being confident in myself and strong in my desire to help others has moved me into a whole new world.  After my failed operation in June I joined the Positive Champions Speakers Bureau and the Partnership for Comprehensive HIV/AIDS Planning. I have met some great individuals with the same background as I have.  We stand united against the fears and stigmas of HIV/AIDS, we strive to educate and inform the public of the misconceptions and myths surrounding the disease, and we speak out in public and support the LGBT community and Positive people everywhere no matter of their sexual orientation.  Despite my illness and constant visits to the hospital they have welcomed me and made me apart of their group and family.

But most importantly I have learned that there is life after being diagnosed with terminal illness, that their are ways of compensating for limited faculties and disabling conditions of illness and disease.  That no matter what the doctor's predict about your mortality and time left, that it is just a prediction.  That with a positive attitude and outlook your whole condition and sense of being can be transformed.  In spite of all the illnesses I have, which at current date I have 6 terminal illness all serious with no cure, nothing and no one gets me down for long. That my attitude and outlook are helping countless people and inspiring others to do things they never thought they would be capable of doing.  I live my life as an example, so that others might take hope and benefit from those things I have gone through.  Even though I live with constant pain, I can still give joy and laughter to others, that I can help bring some light into an otherwise darkened world and show people that hope and love still exists.  Since I have gotten sick and became outspoken and vocal about my illnesses I have seen a host of different reactions, some pity, others fear, others revulsion, others awe and wonder.  But, through all of this not one of them has turned away from me and left me.  When I asked a person who told me they were revolted by the fact that I was HIV Poz why they just didn't walk away and stay away, he told me because he soon discovered he was wrong, that he had made some assumptions about me and that the more he learned about me the more he couldn't deny the enthusiasm and joy that I had, and when he heard my story how everything he thought shattered in the face of truth.

As I told you earlier there are people out there that have these notions they think they know you, they think that they have you figured out and when the truth hits them, their whole image of you shatters and they are forced to accept the real you at face value or move on.  In his case when he found out that I had inadvertently infected myself with HIV by using a dirty needle that my one lover had used to shoot up his drugs and put back in my box for my vitamin shots.  His perception of me was changed.  See he thought that I was promiscuous and had slept around and that I had contracted the disease from having sex.  You just never know do you!  Looks can be deceiving and you have to give others the benefit of the doubt. No one can tell just by looking at you that you are ill, or might be dying.  It is through this young man's confession to me that my outlook about others changed as well, and I realized that even I was guilty of looking at others and pre-judging them.  So I stopped doing that literally, I simply now take everyone I meet at face value and I embrace the challenge of getting to know them, and understanding their story.  Because behind every mask, and we all wear one, is a story that is just waiting to be heard, everyone longs to be understood and accepted for themselves on their terms and loved unconditionally.  God has chosen to keep me around a little bit longer and for that I am eternally grateful, he has brought into my life once again a man that I love very dearly, who through every turn and every opportunity has displayed grace, love and acceptance, who always knows exactly what I am feeling and exactly the right words to encourage me, or inspire me.  He has taught me about myself too, he has given me hope and something to live for.  He has proven to me that he wants to spend whatever time we have left together, he turned away from his old life and old ways just because I showed him a different way to be.  He inspires me to be more than I am and encourages me to reach higher than I ever thought I could.  When I talk with him there is nothing I can't do or accomplish, and he accepts all of me, my strengths, weakness, my anxieties, my fears, and my limitations.

Lastly my readers and friends I want to say thank you to you.  For your devotion to reading my blog, for sending me the letters of encouragement, for using your voice on Facebook and other mediums to tell others about me.  I thank you for your prayers, and your wishes for my continued health.  I have never thought I would ever find the sort of acceptance that I have discovered this year.  Everyone I have met and continue to meet constantly tells me that I am such an inspiration.  But it is because of all of you that I am.  It is because of you telling others about me that my popularity has grown.  It is because of you that I have the strength and the ability to continue writing.  It is because of all of you, and the support and love that you have shown me that I am truly grateful, and because of you I don't feel alone.  You have heard my voice both the literal one and my written one and the message that it gives you of hope and inspirations is what drives me forward with compassion and passion to help make the world a better place for all of us to live in.  I am here for you, feel free to write to me, tell me what is going on in your life.  Don't be scared, don't live in the dark, if you don't want to talk to me talk to someone about what is going on.  Trust me when you do the weight and the pressure you are feeling will be lessened and you might find some unexpected advice and help when you least expect it.

Thank you for being my friends, readers, listeners and support network, it is through you and with you that my message of love, acceptance, and friendship is truly being spread.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

To Be A Better Man

You aren't sure of what you want to do! Or where you want to go! Your mind is constantly changing and your thoughts keep jumping.  How can you sum up yourself when you are still growing, learning and experiencing things?  Indecision is a constant in your life.  Making up your mind is not yet an option, there is still too much to find.  Life is an adventure that can take you from one coast to the other, it can shower you with money or drag you through the gutter.  Every choice is fraught with peril and questions, which way to go? Which way to turn?  You have been high and you have been low, you have been successful and you have been without.  Your life is full of experiences yet you still can't figure out what you want to know.  You have met many people, made some your friends, but in the end it was you and you alone.  You have known love and loss, and still are searching again. Take heart my friend this the beginning not an end.

This is but a way point on a journey without end.  You have more to go, and even more to endure. Life is going to teach you things you never even knew you didn't know.  Everyday you will pick up more that you didn't understand, and learn something about yourself and your fellow man.  There will be challenges, and hurtles you must overcome, but have faith my friend this is a beginning and not an end.   No one is perfect and life is not easily had, you have to fight and scratch just to get ahead.  Everything you learn you'll need it soon enough, because this journey sure can get tough.

Keep your fears in check they will hold you back, step out in faith my friend you sure will be glad you had.  Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever can, but everything you gain you'll learn and cherish most in hand. Be wary and be careful there are those along your way that would love to see you fall and those that will take what you have.  No one said this was easy, but it sure is grand.  Excitement, adventure and drama certainly close at hand. You'll have no want for entertainment, just look around and laugh, because there are clowns around to kick you in the ass.  If your searching for happiness it surely won't be found, because you looking on the outside and that's not where it is bound.  Deep within your soul it is hiding for you to find, you have to find contentment and happiness inside.

Cherish the joy and laughter, it will keep give you ground.  Find the good in things and see what God has made. Look out with the eyes of a child and see the world of wonder, it is that spark of life you see that God is hiding under.  He is in everything the sky, the sea and thunder.  He has made this world for us to explore and wonder why?  It is our lot in life to learn and grow and mature.  If you aren't then you aren't living at all. There is good in everything you just got to learn how to see it.  Don't be afraid to let your awe and wonder at life be hidden.  Reach out and seek what you have been given.

There is so much you still need to do and understand, before you can take a stand, so learn it while you can. I hope you understand, that this is your test to make you a woman or a man. There is nothing that can't be had or given as long as you stay driven.  It is when you give in and start to dwell on the pain and fear you know so well that you start to fall.  Keep your eyes upon the goals you have set and mind the journey for it's where you will learn.  The path is ever winding, it seems to never end. Where you stop really doesn't matter it is how you got there that means the most. But most of all I want you to remember that you are human and just a man.

We all have flaws that is for sure.   We are who we are, and what we will become, treat everyone with kindness, love and compassion, grant them the respect and trust of a friend.  You will find that they will help you in the end.  God gave you a heart which has the greatest capacity for love, look for the good in people and you know what you will find? God my friend, He is in each and every human.  The world doesn't expect you to know or even understand, but what I know is that if you love, and love hard it shall be returned.  Honesty and truth will guide your way, your heart will open eyes and doors for you.  There will be those that laugh and chide you, but it is the light they see inside of you that they fear.  For you are never alone in this great big adventure God is with you, inside and out of you.

We each seek perfection, but it too we shall never find, because to be perfect would be to be Divine.  Our lessons that we are taught, and the road that we travel bring us ever closer toward a greater understanding of who and what we are, but it is through Grace that God opens our eyes to the hidden world that underlies all else. This is enlightenment my dearest friend, and once you have seen the way, your eyes never will see the same things in the same way.  The truth is revealed as if from a shadow, and what was once thought to be real will now be known to be false.  Our world is a world of illusion, we live in the darkness trying to comprehend, God is the light that shows us what is true and right.  Once your sight has been restored and you see what is real, how can you go back to living in the darkness? You can't so further and onward you go. My suggestion is to strive for perfection one day at a time and you will find that anything is truly possible in this world.

Love your fellow man, honor them and treat them with respect, judge not what they do, live what you say, and prove yourself to be true.  Treat everyone you meet with kindness, compassion and love, this is the way that will make the world a better place.  Acceptance and tolerance should be your watch words, they should be the actions you follow.  Choose to lead by example, don't shout or proclaim, for those who have eyes will see the difference you have made.  Lead from the side, don't try to be a Master, because it won't help you reach Heaven any faster.  Cherish one another, enjoy the time you have. Seek out the beauty and majesty in the world around you.  Take time to explore that which you do not know, try to seek out that which you don't understand.  Learn what you are afraid of, make those fears go away. Be about your passion, and the money will follow, don't get mired down and stuck in something that you don't know or love. Do these things and be a better man.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Have you heard of the saying "Be careful what you wish for, it might come true" ?

I am sure you have heard that saying sometime in your life.  I know I sure have, and it is funny that is something my best friend and I were talking about today on the phone.  See, in my believe structure, words have power, and when you say them you put their meaning into action in not only the physical plane of existence but in the spiritual plane as well.  I am a Christian based Wiccan, I teach how both of the religions correlate to one another and how to use the teachings of both to lead not only a fulfilling but also a rewarding life as well.  In the Wiccan religion it is believed that anything you say or do that is of negative consequence will come back on you seven fold.  Now, to understand the law of retribution you might want to think of it in the terms of Karma.  What comes around goes around, as they say.  The law of retribution states that whatever you do to another comes back to you seven times greater than what you did to them.  So you basically have to pay the price seven fold.  This is huge, and people wonder why they have long streaks of bad luck, injury or illness.  It is because of the negative things that we put out into the world.

Eastern philosophy calls this Karma, that the wrongs you do to another, or on the earth or to another creature of the earth come back to you when you least expect it too.  So for example if you were mean to someone in high school, you might not reap the damages you inflicted till years later.  Karma is something that they believe is built up over time and comes back to bite you when it is appropriate.  Well, the law of retribution is very similar, except we believe that whatever you have put out whether good or bad will come back to you, but in different increments.  Negative thoughts and energy comes back seven fold, where positive energy and thoughts come back ten fold.  It can be immediate or gradual in response to whatever you have put out there.

Swami Sivanada sums it up nicely for me "Every wrong action or crime brings its own punishment, in accordance with the law of retribution. The law of causation, the law of action and reaction, the law of compensation and the law of retribution-all these operate together. He who robs another man robs himself. He who hurts another man hurts himself first. He who cheats another cheats himself first. Every wrong action causes punishment first in the inner nature or soul and externally in circumstances in the form of pain, misery, loss, failure, misfortune, disease, etc."  Think of it this way, for every thought or word that you think or utter in anger towards another person is like you are cursing them. You need to take it out of the law of cause and effect, which you can simply do by stating you take it out of the law directly after you speak the words, or think the thoughts.  The best thing to try and do is change the way you think and handle conflict because you never want your own wrath coming back upon yourself. 

Honestly life is too short for you to go around having bad Karma, bad JooJoo or whatever you want to call it.  Because trust me everything comes back on you, and you don't want all of that negativity coming back at you.  Each of us must face the consequences of our actions, decisions, words, and of course what we do to other people.  What I am hoping you will learn is that you can avoid a lot of pain and anguish on yourself if you treat everyone with kindness and love. You might even be pleasantly surprised, that what you get back is going to be much of the same.  See whatever we give out to others, is exactly what we are going to receive back to ourselves.  Keep that in mind the next time you want to loose your temper and swear at someone or tell them that you wish they were dead.  See those exact words have power, and whatever you think and put energy into will become manifest.  In effect you are cursing not only that person but yourself at the same time.  Though you might feel better in the short term, trust and believe that it is going to come back and bite you in the ass sooner or later.  

I have told you many times in the past that if you put forth positive energy you are going to get more positive back, the same goes with love, kindness, generosity and caring.  These are all things that come from the heart and are forms of positive energy. Remember that like attracts like in the spiritual world and what manifest in the spiritual world also manifest in the physical world as well.  In the blog entries I wrote back in April about meditation and creative visualization, I explained a lot of this. I also talked to you about how to ground and center yourself. If you want to protect yourself from other peoples negativity, use visualization.  Visualize yourself being surrounded from head to toe with white light, this will re-enforce the shielding of your body and repel any negativity that is around you.  As the day wears on you might feel that you are being weighed down with negativity and negative energy, when this happens ground yourself.  Which is simply envisioning the suns energy coming down through the top of your head and flowing through your body down to your feet and out into the ground. This will take that negative energy and shunt it to the earth which is our natural ground.

I have even in the past given you examples of how I start my day with a positive mental attitude and how it protects me throughout the day.  It simply a matter of giving thanks for the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me during my life. I do this every morning when I get up and meditate. This sets my mental activity for the day. When you are thinking only about the positive things that have happened to you how can anything negative get in to bug you?  Good question huh?  Another thing that I like to do when some issue or problem is weighing on my heart and mind. I like to write about it. I find it cathartic to write, it takes whatever it is and gets it out of my system.  If it is some kind of issue that I need help and resolution on. I take it with me in prayer at night and I lay those problems at the feet of the Lord.  How I accomplish that is I usually write what has been bothering me or whatever the issue or situation is that I need answered and I take that slip of paper once it is written on, pray about it an then fold that paper and put it in a shoe box and leave it there. That is symbolic to me of leaving it at the feet of Jesus, because once it is on that paper and in that box, I forget about it. I know in my heart that the answer is going to come and I am going to have that prayer answered.

When I left Atlanta in February, I created a box, which I called my prayer box when I got to my father's house. I kept it in the closet.  Every time I had an issue or prayer request or had something that I was worrying about I would write it down and I would put it in that box.  I would leave it there and try never to think about it again. When I moved out of my dad's place, my stepmother and I found the box in my things and we sat down and read through each and every slip of paper I had put in the box.  Guess what, over the 8 months that I had lived with them every single one of those prayers was answered.  Something else that I do and it is just my personal preference, I also put my goals and dreams and desires into that box as well. I pray about them of course and sure enough they too were answered and I was greatly impressed at how God had blessed me and favored me with all those answered prayers in such a short time.

Try it out I think you will find that it will work for you the same way.  Now that I am in my new home I am going to prepare a new box and do the same thing.  But I can tell you that already my prayers are being answered one by one.  My best friend in North Carolina made it home safely and started classes, that was a big prayer and worry that was on my mind and like I said I spoke with him tonight and things are starting to turn around for him.  I also spoke with my friend in Ft. Lauderdale this evening and he told me that he has some furniture for me. I need to find a way to get down there and pick it up, but he has a king size bed and a dresser and a sofa for me.  That is right my prayer from over the weekend has already been answered and I have the beginnings of new furniture and a new home all to myself.  Thanks and Glory be to God for that He is really working in my life and making things happen.

The last thing I want to talk to you about is a state of consciousness or enlightenment called Ka'thulu.  This is a thing that I read about a very long time ago it was in a book called White Magic by Marina Medici.  This state of enlightenment is a level that when reached ever single thing that we say comes to pass.  Jesus was in that state, everything He uttered happened, and each of us has the potential to reach that state as well.  I can tell you I have seen it in my own life and in the lives of some of my friends.  Be careful of the words you speak they have power, they have life and can cause great harm or great good depending on how they are used and uttered.

Keep walking the philosophers path with me and you will come to see what I am talking about.  Also keep in mind that whatever the mind can conceive and believe you will achieve.  It is very important to understand that what you visualize will manifest not only on the spiritual plane, but once that seed is planted there it will manifest in the physical world as well.  Visualization and words of power are very powerful and tricky tools that are given to us to use to benefit the world and mankind.  Be careful not to abuse them, and beware of the dangers of unguarded use. Remember whatever we put out there will come back to us.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

It is never to late to learn something new about ourselves

A good friend of mine posted on his Facebook page this today:

 "If I could change one thing from my past I would live life to the fullest and be reborn. Meaning I would give my all. I would snatched the shirt off my back to give to a homeless person in need . I would refrain from being selfish ( as I once was). And furthermore I would rewrite many misconceptions that others had about the true ME!

THEY WILL NEVER KNOW THE REAL ME !!!!!"

I will be honest this got me to really think about life and living and the past from the present.  I love it when I can find inspiration from something someone else has learned or discovered about themselves.  I am sure by now you are all familiar with my poem called "Frienemies" and if your aren't then I suggest you go read it.  Because it talks all about those that are close to you and claim to be your friend but are talking shit about you behind your back and doing everything they can to undermine you and your life.  Now, as I have said the person who wrote this is a very good friend of mine and someone I have known for the past two years, and I can tell you that the person he is today is not the person that he was when I met him.  He is kind and considerate now, where before the world revolved around him, and he was all about what you could do for him.  Now, as you can imagine we are the polar opposites, I am the one who had the kind heart, the giving nature, and struggled to get past those misconceptions he talks about in his post.  Because, unlike most people I am not the type that is going to be scared away easily, I look at a person and I see their soul, I see their potential and if there is something there that I like I stick it out.  Now, I can tell you that we weren't always close, that his way of dealing with things was not mine, and vice versa.  But I can tell you this, that as this post shows it is never too late to learn something about yourself and make a change.

My blog has been from the very beginning about the inward journey one must take to reach enlightenment, it addresses the daily concerns of living and gives real world examples on how to overcome and avoid life's little obstacles that fall in our way.  I applaud my friend for his self realization that he was self-centered, egotistical, and selfish, however I can say that my experience with him has always been a different kind.  He didn't treat me like he did others, and maybe it was because I was as different from him as he was from me, but it seemed that our friendship grew very quickly to becoming very close.  I learned a lot from him, how to spot when people are taking advantage of me, and how to handle myself in just about any situation, that I didn't have to avoid confrontation.  I am not sure if he learned anything from me yet, but that is okay.  Because like I said in a couple of my earlier blogs, that each and every person comes into our lives for a reason, a specific purpose.  I also believe that there are 3 types of people that are constantly in our lives.  These are Teachers, Students, and Confidants, depending on the situation and need you find yourself in, is where you find which role you are playing at any given point.  I know from first hand experience that at times I have been the teacher, and have helped lots of people in my life and taught them how to take care of themselves and love themselves and how to be a better person.  But I have also been a student and have learned from others. As for the confidant role you can be that for anyone, I know that they are rare and when you have found yours hang on to them.  

A confidant is someone you consider to be your best friend, it is who you talk to the most, confide in, you talk all the time, they are there for you and you are there for them no matter what the circumstance.  They are there to help you pick up the pieces of your shattered heart when your relationships go south, they are who you lean on when the world has turned upside and you are lost and don't know where to turn.  You do the same for them.  I have a best friend that I have known since High School, we talk every day, and it is neat!  Now, there have been times when we didn't talk, when we had issues with each other and gone our separate ways, but somehow, we manage to always get past those times and come back together.  A confidant is someone that you need to have in your life, they are the holders of your secrets and you theirs.

The reason why I re-posted my friends Facebook post here is because I wanted to use it to bring home a point.  The point is this, we are never to old to learn something new about ourselves.  It is never too late to make a conscious change and better ourselves.  Inner reflection is the key to changing the way you view yourself, and when your perspective changes, so does your outlook on life and everything that happens around you.  His post strikes a cord in my heart, and makes me excited that his view and perception of himself is changing and that he has the desire to become a different and better Him than he was.  But as in all things if you look hard enough there is a lesson here to be found as well.  This being that of rewriting the misconceptions about the real person.  What I know and he will learn is that there is nothing we can do with how a person perceives us, the only true way to dispel misconceptions about who we are or were is by fighting through them and getting to know the real person behind them.  However, I know exactly how difficult that can be.  Yet, no matter what you do people are still going to have preconceived notions about who your are and what you represent.  They are going to feed off of the misconceptions that have been presented them, and before you know it your are built up to be something you totally aren't.

As in my friends case here wishing he could go back and re-write them is a noble sentiment, but that is just that! He has changed his focus, realized where he needed to change and has done so.  That alone is what is going to make the difference going forward.  What has happened in the past is in the past and cannot be undone or changed. All we have is what is before us, and if you truly want to make yourself a better more likeable person, you are just going to have to do it.  Remember that actions speak louder than words, and deeds that prove will last a lifetime and be a testament to your change.

What I want you to take away from here tonight is this.  We are all on a journey, it is a spiritual journey, a journey of awakening, a journey of self-discovery and learning.  We need to take each encounter that we have and find the lesson within it.  Because, there is a lesson to be learned around every corner.  As we travel forward on this road change your focus from outward gratification and pleasure and turn it inward toward understanding and self-awareness.  Once you have changed the perspective at which you view life and your journey you are going to see things you never even thought existed, more blessing are going to come your way, but as we change our focus, we must also release the past.  The past is a guide, a learning tool, something to look back on to correct our footing on the path, but nothing more.  You must keep in mind that the past is immutable, unchangeable, and can keep you prisoner.  Because how can you move forward if you are looking to the past, clinging to the baggage that needs to be surrendered and released?  And as you move along your journey there are going to be those that you have to leave behind because they aren't doing you any good, they are holding you back and trying to shift your focus in their direction.  Once you have cut them free and let them go new people will enter your life that will help you on your way.  Open your heart be in awe of the world and life around you. Revel in the majesty, mystery and beauty of God and the world.  Know in your heart that everything you do is for a reason, and is something to learn and grow by.  We are the sum of all the decisions and actions we choose.  Choose to live, choose to follow me and take the road less traveled.  Look deep within your self, you will find the answers are there waiting for you.  Don't worry what others think because in the long run their opinions aren't going to matter at all.  The life you lead is yours.  Embrace it openly and lovingly savor every single moment. Rejoice in the here and now, and as you move forward and better yourself, don't be surprised that everyone else is going to see and notice those changes.

Live well, love hard, be open, be safe, and walk with eyes of awe and wonder, enjoy everything around you to the fullest. Because as you know time is fleeting and if we don't take the opportunity to enjoy it before you know it life has already passed you by.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Do you know what the difference is between knowledge and wisdom?

You know I wrote about how Plato theorized that knowledge and learning had to be appended by the student, the instructor was to point them in the right direction and that is how knowledge was transferred.  To Plato knowledge was universal, could be gleaned and appended (learned) by experience, thinking and rationalization.  To him philosophical thought would allow a student to tap into thought-forms or the idea of things.

Other philosophers believe in a universal repository of knowledge called the "Akashic Record".  Basically it is a huge database of all knowledge and understanding that can be tapped into via a trance like state, astral projection, or deep guided meditation. In either case I believe both schools of thought are extremely close to the truth.  If you don't believe me let me fill you in on a few thoughts on this of my own.

Science has long held debate over Nature vs. Nurture, the debate stems from innate or born instinctual level traits passed along during birth.  Some scientist contend that there is some knowledge passed from mother to child during the gestation period, or pregnancy. Other scientist's believe that we are taught everything after birth, that the mind of a new born is a clean slate.  This second group believes that an infant, mammal or otherwise, learn through patterns and repetition.  But what about survival instincts, the born knowledge that we must eat to live and other traits.

Coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, or Creationist view if you prefer the term, you need to take into consideration the story of the "Garden of Eden".  It is said that the reason for the expulsion of Adam and Eve was because of disobedience to the only rule God had given them, which was not to eat of the fruit of the "Tree of Knowledge".  This is pivotal in my discussion on this topic with you.  Because you see here is where original sin comes from.  Man's disobedience to the command of God.  It also opened man's eyes to all knowledge of good and evil. Hence the hiding from God because of fear, because until that time they had no knowledge of fear.

In that one fateful incident all knowledge was instantly opened up to the mind of man.  The knowledge was absorbed by the human mind, and I believe that it has remained with us today inside of each of us.  It has been passed down through time, just like the burden of original sin.

Science has theorized for years that the average person only uses a tenth of their brain during their lifetime.  I am sure you are aware that these are exceptions to this.  Notably Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Newton, Bobby Fischer, Thomas Edison and countless others.  We call them miracle children or prodigies and every generation produces one or two of them.  If my memory serves me right the Dali Lama is born with the knowledge of his past incarnations, has access to all the understanding and memories of all his previous lives.

It is my belief that each of us has inside of us the knowledge of all things, as was gifted by that one bite of the forbidden fruit.  With this thought in mind, I contend that the philosophers journey is the unlocking of that knowledge within ourselves to reach a higher level of consciousness.  This means that the path of enlightenment, is the journey toward total knowledge and understanding. That the more we are exposed to this knowledge the further along the path we find ourselves toward enlightenment.  But I also believe that with knowledge must come or be tempered with wisdom. See knowledge for the sake of knowledge is one thing but I think if you don't understand how to apply this knowledge to life you can never truly reach full enlightenment.

It is important to understand and comprehend as well as process the knowledge and apply it to your philosophical journey. You can have a person who is truly book smart. Knows everything but lacks street smarts, or the ability to survive in the real world or on the streets, it is the knowledge on how to survive the bumps in the road of life. The inverse is also true you can have someone who is street smart, a hustler so to speak, who can survive anywhere and knows how to handle themselves in any situation life throws at them. But cannot read or write, can't hold a job, etc.

Here is the key to understanding all of this. It is all inside of us. We were born with everything we need to know. We just have to look deep within ourselves and follow our thoughts to their inevitable conclusion. We all have the capacity to learn. We can internalize and reach logical conclusions about everything in this world.  I also contend those of you who have been told you have a learning disorder or some other such nonsense, that the reason you find yourself struggling to comprehend something is because your natural affinity lies in a different direction.

Example of this, both my friend John and I have problems with higher math such as calculus. A couple of years ago John was classified as having a learning disorder that prevented him from excelling at math. I on the other hand struggled through it, eventually grasped it and can still do the math functions today.  Now, I have to admit here I probably couldn't do it from memory now without a refresher and a formula sheet. But, the point I want to make is pretty simple really. Basically it comes down to Left Brain versus Right Brain.  Psychologist have realized that the artistic and the logical are managed by the active side of your brain or the dominant side. If memory serves left brained or left-handed people are more artistically inclined where the right brained or right-handed are more logic and technically oriented.

But, this is our predisposition, the way that we are born, our so called innate tendency, our natural affinity, or in a broader sense our talents.  Now, I am not saying that a right handed person is less talented than a left handed person, what I am saying is that art, music and other artistic endeavors come more easily and naturally to a left brain person.  Whereas, a right brained person can learn and become artistic, they are more inclined to comprehend and understand complex logic and functions. A right brained person must struggle and put effort into their artistic work, which usually shows in their work and makes it so appealing. Conversely, the same is true to a left brained person, art comes easily for them, they struggle through math and sciences. Yet, that is what makes their discoveries so ground breaking.

The point I am trying to make is this, that which we struggle through and give life too is an actual process on the philosophers journey.  Wisdom is gained by the practical application of the knowledge we have and perceive.  Trust me when I tell you after you struggle through something, learn the concepts behind them and finally master it, you will never forget it.  It is the journey, the work, the pressure you put into it that makes it memorable.

So what is knowledge? It is the comprehension and the understanding of a complex thought or information. According to Websters it is "to perceive directly as fact or truth, to believe to be true; to be certain of; to be familiar with or have experience of."  So knowledge boiled down is facts, figures, laws, information pas on as fact.  Whereas, wisdom is the applied usage of knowledge in the appropriate place or time.  Webster's defines wisdom as "the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring; good judgement, knowledge."

Can you see the point I am trying to make? Can you understand and comprehend what I am laying out?  That wisdom and knowledge are milestones and landmarks of the philosophers journey.  They are not mutually exclusive of each other yet they aren't mutually inclusive of each other either.  I believe King Solomon, the wisest man in the world was given the ability by God to have access to all knowledge of the ages and the wisdom to comprehend it all and to apply it to life.  Further, if you are like me and believe that God created us. That He truly breathed the spark of life into us, then you should also believe that the Divine resides or dwells within us.  It is what gives some people premonitions, ESP, do miraculous things.  It also gives us the ability to access the knowledge that was granted in that one act of disobedience the "Knowledge of Good and Evil".  That everything and anything is possible and that it is all within us. It is a gift as much as a curse, it can be used to benefit all of mankind or can be used to subjugate and destroy like Hitler tried to do.

I encourage you to take the spiritual and philosophical journey with me.  To pray and meditate on all things.  Because the knowledge and wisdom is within us, reachable and usable.  Wrap the knowledge you have with wisdom, explore all thins, remember what Mr. Webster said, "Wisdom is the ability to understand what is right, true or enduring." Learn all you can and use good judgement.

The road of life is filled with many mysteries, we have the ability to solve them, understand them, comprehend them and use them to better ourselves and society as a whole.

As always y hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Thank you for helping me realize my dream. I published entries 100 and 101 today.  It is all because of your encouragement and support.  God bless you and keep you safe.  I hope you will continue to read.

Thanks a million!
Bryan :-)

What is Mediation, and how can you benefit from it?

First, let me take a minute to say Thank You for coming this far with me on this little journey toward enlightenment and self-awareness.  This is the last blog entry in this current series.  There will be other to come in the future I am sure.  So take the time to join my blog and follow the entries as they unfold.  I am attempting to build my audience and would love to have you be a part of my community.

In this entry we are going to talk about meditation and it's possible benefits that you can get out of utilizing meditation in your daily life.  So, let's start this off right by first telling you that Mediation is derived from the word meditate.  According to Webster's Pocket Dictionary and Thesaurus defines meditate as: "to be in continuous contemplative thought; to think about doing some thing."  There are many schools of thought on meditation; some believe that meditation opens the mind to a higher form of consciousness, others claim it is just the stilling of ones mind to allow exploration of the subconscious, still others say that it is the key to ultimate knowledge and enlightenment, there are so many different opinions that it would be impossible to list them all in this blog.

It is my own opinion that maybe every single one of them are right in some way shape or fashion.  No matter what your religious beliefs are or what school of thought you identify with, it will not change what meditation is and how it can help you.  Personally I like to think of it as prayer and a form of inner evaluation, a form of self-reflection and a tool to help us divorce ourselves from the physical world and glimpse and sometimes enter the spiritual realm.  I have studied many of the worlds religions, and have practiced some of them from time to time.  Each religion teaches and embrace mediation.  In Christianity it is in the form of prayer, in Hinduism it is in the form of lighting candles and incense and assuming the lotus position, and so on and so forth.  Each time I have tried to learn the religious aspects of meditation I found it confusing , hard to accomplish and at times elusive.  The reason why this happened is because the simple concept of self-realization and inner focus was incorporated into the religious culture and dogma and became wrapped up and cloaked in religious tradition.

The concept of meditation is very simple.  It is the stilling of ones mind and allowing the conscious thought to relax control over the body and surrenders control to the subconscious, it is almost like the rational mind (conscious) falls into a light slumber where you can still think and remember what is happening.  Once you have stilled your mind your body relaxes, your respiration and breathing slows as well as your heartbeat.  As you enter this state the subconscious is able to focus your mind on issues or thought abstracts that your waking or rational mind has not been able to work out or deal with.  Thus allowing you to have deeper thoughts, explore the inner recesses of your mind.  Further, when you reflect inward and review your life, you can see and understand things that have been bothering you and you had no idea why.  As you think these deeper thought you are opened up to a greater understanding and spiritual awareness and awakening is able to enter into your body.  Dreams they say is how the subconscious mind works out problems and issues that your conscious mind is either unaware of or are too complex for total understanding.  It is through mediation that we are able to view these issues and allow the subconscious to work on the issues without the constraint of the rational mind holding you back.

As you meditate and your mind calms, you will be able to focus your will reduce your stress, contemplate and understand complex abstracts.  As your mind stills and your body relaxes your subconscious takes control, now remember that the body's autonomic nervous system is control by the subconscious mind.  So when I talk about how you can benefit from mediation, you receive improved and efficient respiration, breathing is normalized, stress is reduced and blood pressure drops, basically your body's natural health is improved and becomes more efficient. Meditation is definitely a tool you will want to use on your journey of self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment.  Another benefit of letting the rational mind relax your subconscious becomes open and receptive to abstract thoughts and spiritual energy. You are able to glimpse and possibly at times enter into the spiritual realm and gain better insight into yourself and those around you.

I find myself mediating at various different times and because it has become second nature too me I seem to slip in and out of it with out sometimes even realizing that I am doing it.  I also have a dedicated time when I meditate, I like to meditate when I am grounding and centering, I find that it helps me align my bodies energy field and focus my will to a singularity of purpose.  Feel free to mediate whenever you want and as often as you would like. It will become second nature to you as well and you will be amazed at some of the thought you will begin to think and understand.  I also like to mediate when I write, for some examples of this look at my blog entries on vision 20/20 and happiness, and time..I think you will begin to see what I mean by abstract thoughts can be analyzed and your how your knowledge and understanding of them improves.

Take some time just like I described in the last entry on grounding where you can be alone and uninterrupted for a period of time, close your eyes, relax your mind and let your body relax as well.  Just let your mind go and follow where it leads, look into your self, and be honest with yourself and you will see what I mean about becoming open and receptive.  That is all there is too mediation.  Pretty simple right!  Keep in mind that using meditation with ground will help keep your body in balance and strengthen your inner focus and sharpens you will to a point of singular purpose.  Your body will benefit from renewed health, vitality and become more efficient in handling negative energy and help you to live in a positive state of being.

This series has been about that allowing us to have to tools needed to reflect inward, begin a journey of self-awareness and self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment.  It was also about using our unconscious(subconscious) mind to view and pick up on abstract thoughts and take those inner issues that our rational mind cannot handle and working to resolve them.  It allows us to be open and receptive to change and allows us to understand ourselves and those around us.

Learn from mediation, use it and see how great you will feel.  Again you have nothing to loose by trying it and you have so much to gain from it.  It is a win-win situation all the way around.  As always I look forward to hearing from you and I appreciate your feedback and comments. Tell me what you think and how you feel on this or any other subject I have written about.  You can contact me directly through the blog, or write to me on facebook at www.facebook.com/bryan.zepp2 or via email at bryanzepp@gmail.com.

All my hopes and dreams are with you

Uncle B