Trouble comes around when you least expect it.

Today was a busy day for me I ran around trying to get my finances in order because I have a ticket to pay in Atlanta for my little excursion that turned out to be a nightmare.  I had called the court last week and found out that the ticket was going to cost $194.40 for stopping in the road way.  The officer was trying to find drugs in the car but since he couldn't do that he decided to give me a ticket anyway.  Well, I got the money together because when I talked to the court last week they told me that I could pay it via the automated system.  However tonight when I called the automated system it tells me that there are two tickets out there and that I needed to appear in court. So I went online to see if I could pay it via their website and what I found out is that there are two tickets issued one back in 2007 and then one I got in 2012.  Now, the ticket in 2007 is not mine at all. The tag numbers don't match and the "party" field shows unknown.  This is very frustrating for me because I finally got all my ducks in a row so that I could take care of this and get myself ahead of the game.

Keep in mind that when I got a hold of the clerk of the court in Atlanta, I was told that I specifically had to pay the ticket before my court date or they would suspend my license. I explained that I didn't live there and that there was no way that I could appear in court and I was trying to get an extension, she told me that I needed to write a letter to the judge asking for a reset of the court date because I couldn't appear.  Now, I am not sure what I am supposed to do at this point, because even if I left now I would be stretching my finances so thin that I probably would end up getting stranded up there again. I cannot afford to have that happen, the last time I went up there I got stranded and my health suffered and I ended up in the hospital 4 times total. Honestly, I can't and don't want to go through all of that again.  Even though a part of me would like to go up there and try and find my friend Tony, but I don't even have a clue where to look for him at the moment and I am not sure he would even come back with me if I did find him.

Besides which I have an appointment with the doctors tomorrow to discuss the referrals I need to see the GI specialist and neurologist.  It seems that I am having a residual problem with my left leg from the drain that they removed from my back a week ago, when they went in and drained the cyst that had formed.  I knew that Saturday when he pulled the drain out that he had hurt the nerve. I was told that it would bother me for a short period of time, but the pain has gotten a lot worse today. I am thinking that it is because of the weather.  See I have had problems all my life when the barometric pressure drops because I had a fractured skull when I was born.  Then when I was going through chemotherapy in the 90's they infiltrated the vein and the tissue on my right arm got damaged.  It would turn black when the storms would come and I would get terrible migraines.  Today a storm rolled in and my leg started hurting and my arm was sore as well, and on top of that I had a terrible migraine that lasted the whole day.

I wasn't prepared for having all of the pain on top of all the drama that has ensued.  I even went by work today to pick up the check that they owed me for the deposit I paid to stay in the hotel that my company manages. I didn't stay there at all because last Friday they told me that I would have to pay a $200.00 deposit and I didn't have the extra money to come up with that.  That was drama filled as well because just earlier on Friday I was told that I wouldn't have to pay a deposit because I worked for the company.  I guess they knew that they were going to fire me on Friday, because the deal was there would be no deposit as long as I worked for them.  In hindsight I guess I should have figured it out, but I was so excited about finally finding a place of my own that I could afford, and a person who was willing to work with me and knows my situation.  

I have come to expect that when good things happen in my life they are always tempered with bad things.  See this past weekend was so filled with blessings and good things that I should have known that bad things were just around the corner.  However, there is no warning when bad things are looming.  The good thing is this we are promised that we will never be given more than we can bear, God knows what our limitations are and will ensure that we have the strength to endure. Remember that every time a problem or crisis hits us there is a lesson somewhere in there to be learned. I want you to keep in mind that each of has our own trials and crisis's that we have bear it is how we rise up and deal with each of them that defines us and gives us the strength for the next one that is coming.  Just like land storms come and go, they rage and blow, cause damage, but they always move on they never last forever.  Problems are the same way.  Remember that no problems is ever as permanent as the solution. How you look at the issue or situation also plays a major role in how long it will endure.  I have told you over and over again that perception plays a vital part, and if we over analyze a situation too much we have a tendency to make it form a molehill into a mountain.  Once it becomes a mountain, we fret and worry that there will be no way to surmount it. I am here to tell you that you can and will make it to the summit and down the other side.  Keep on keeping on.

Have faith that when a storm of problems arise that there is something that you are supposed to be looking for a hidden lesson that you need to learn and grow from.  This will keep you from dwelling on the actual event and keep your eyes looking forward, and your momentum will be steady.  Before you know it you will have sailed right through to the other side of the issue and it has been resolved.  I was talking to my best friend last night and was telling him this exact same thing.  Nothing can hold us back if we just keep focus on the situations surroundings and deal with the issues as they arise.  I call this plodding along, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will have made it through that issue or crisis and will be heading toward the next one.  On Facebook I posted "It appears that I have entered the storm...Wonder what new direction God has planned for me now. A new adventure and journey lie beyond the storm. I can see a break in the clouds, ready boys weigh anchor, set sail and let's go...I am ready for this change."  I am confident that I am going to get through this time. I can see a break in the clouds and I know that there is sun and warmth on the horizon.

As I have told you before we never know when trouble is going to pop up, we actually are given very little warning. The reason for this is that everything we have been through in the past is supposed to prepare us for what is coming next.  Yet, there are times when something we have never experienced or encountered before creeps up on us and we are taken totally by surprise.  We honestly have no idea how to approach or handle the situation.  I believe this is the time when God will send us a person we need that will help us manage the problem.  See I believe that every person that is brought into your life is there for a reason, some of the time we encounter someone who can teach us something that we don't know about ourselves or life.  Other times there is someone that is brought into our lives because we are meant to teach them something.  Whatever the case maybe keep your eyes and ears open, your help is already there and you just don't even know it yet.  We are never thrown totally into a situation unprepared or where a way out hasn't been provided us.  We just have to look around and change our perspective to see the answer and the solution or to find the one that was there to be our support through the problem.

Like I said everyone comes into our lives for a reason and are there for their allotted time before they move on.  There is a third type of person that comes into our lives that may always be there. They are our confidants, our best friends, they can be our teacher sometimes, they can be our student sometimes as well, but they are always there as an ear to talk to a person to depend on and a shoulder to rest upon. These are the most precious of people in our lives and they form a very unique support network. They are going to be there with you through thick and thin and will always have your back.  They are the ones you can trust and count on when everyone else has failed you. These are the ones that you must take care of and be sure that you nurture and tend to that friendship they are rare indeed.

As for my problems, they are minor, I know that I will make it through them with only a little of muss and fuss. I know that there has been some kind of mistake on the court's side in Atlanta and in the morning I will get it taken care of.  As far as the job is concerned I will do whatever it is that I have to do to make it all work out. Nothing is impossible in this world if we only strive for perfection one day at a time.  Keep that in mind and take it with you.  You will see that what I am saying is the truth.  But as I get ready to close this out I want to leave you with one thing more. I know I mentioned what seems like ages ago, but Salt n Pepa told us in a song, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe you will achieve".  With that I am going to say good night.  Remember positive thoughts bring positive energy. Keep your chin up because this too shall pass! Like it always does and you are going to be that much stronger for it.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

It is never to late to learn something new about ourselves

A good friend of mine posted on his Facebook page this today:

 "If I could change one thing from my past I would live life to the fullest and be reborn. Meaning I would give my all. I would snatched the shirt off my back to give to a homeless person in need . I would refrain from being selfish ( as I once was). And furthermore I would rewrite many misconceptions that others had about the true ME!

THEY WILL NEVER KNOW THE REAL ME !!!!!"

I will be honest this got me to really think about life and living and the past from the present.  I love it when I can find inspiration from something someone else has learned or discovered about themselves.  I am sure by now you are all familiar with my poem called "Frienemies" and if your aren't then I suggest you go read it.  Because it talks all about those that are close to you and claim to be your friend but are talking shit about you behind your back and doing everything they can to undermine you and your life.  Now, as I have said the person who wrote this is a very good friend of mine and someone I have known for the past two years, and I can tell you that the person he is today is not the person that he was when I met him.  He is kind and considerate now, where before the world revolved around him, and he was all about what you could do for him.  Now, as you can imagine we are the polar opposites, I am the one who had the kind heart, the giving nature, and struggled to get past those misconceptions he talks about in his post.  Because, unlike most people I am not the type that is going to be scared away easily, I look at a person and I see their soul, I see their potential and if there is something there that I like I stick it out.  Now, I can tell you that we weren't always close, that his way of dealing with things was not mine, and vice versa.  But I can tell you this, that as this post shows it is never too late to learn something about yourself and make a change.

My blog has been from the very beginning about the inward journey one must take to reach enlightenment, it addresses the daily concerns of living and gives real world examples on how to overcome and avoid life's little obstacles that fall in our way.  I applaud my friend for his self realization that he was self-centered, egotistical, and selfish, however I can say that my experience with him has always been a different kind.  He didn't treat me like he did others, and maybe it was because I was as different from him as he was from me, but it seemed that our friendship grew very quickly to becoming very close.  I learned a lot from him, how to spot when people are taking advantage of me, and how to handle myself in just about any situation, that I didn't have to avoid confrontation.  I am not sure if he learned anything from me yet, but that is okay.  Because like I said in a couple of my earlier blogs, that each and every person comes into our lives for a reason, a specific purpose.  I also believe that there are 3 types of people that are constantly in our lives.  These are Teachers, Students, and Confidants, depending on the situation and need you find yourself in, is where you find which role you are playing at any given point.  I know from first hand experience that at times I have been the teacher, and have helped lots of people in my life and taught them how to take care of themselves and love themselves and how to be a better person.  But I have also been a student and have learned from others. As for the confidant role you can be that for anyone, I know that they are rare and when you have found yours hang on to them.  

A confidant is someone you consider to be your best friend, it is who you talk to the most, confide in, you talk all the time, they are there for you and you are there for them no matter what the circumstance.  They are there to help you pick up the pieces of your shattered heart when your relationships go south, they are who you lean on when the world has turned upside and you are lost and don't know where to turn.  You do the same for them.  I have a best friend that I have known since High School, we talk every day, and it is neat!  Now, there have been times when we didn't talk, when we had issues with each other and gone our separate ways, but somehow, we manage to always get past those times and come back together.  A confidant is someone that you need to have in your life, they are the holders of your secrets and you theirs.

The reason why I re-posted my friends Facebook post here is because I wanted to use it to bring home a point.  The point is this, we are never to old to learn something new about ourselves.  It is never too late to make a conscious change and better ourselves.  Inner reflection is the key to changing the way you view yourself, and when your perspective changes, so does your outlook on life and everything that happens around you.  His post strikes a cord in my heart, and makes me excited that his view and perception of himself is changing and that he has the desire to become a different and better Him than he was.  But as in all things if you look hard enough there is a lesson here to be found as well.  This being that of rewriting the misconceptions about the real person.  What I know and he will learn is that there is nothing we can do with how a person perceives us, the only true way to dispel misconceptions about who we are or were is by fighting through them and getting to know the real person behind them.  However, I know exactly how difficult that can be.  Yet, no matter what you do people are still going to have preconceived notions about who your are and what you represent.  They are going to feed off of the misconceptions that have been presented them, and before you know it your are built up to be something you totally aren't.

As in my friends case here wishing he could go back and re-write them is a noble sentiment, but that is just that! He has changed his focus, realized where he needed to change and has done so.  That alone is what is going to make the difference going forward.  What has happened in the past is in the past and cannot be undone or changed. All we have is what is before us, and if you truly want to make yourself a better more likeable person, you are just going to have to do it.  Remember that actions speak louder than words, and deeds that prove will last a lifetime and be a testament to your change.

What I want you to take away from here tonight is this.  We are all on a journey, it is a spiritual journey, a journey of awakening, a journey of self-discovery and learning.  We need to take each encounter that we have and find the lesson within it.  Because, there is a lesson to be learned around every corner.  As we travel forward on this road change your focus from outward gratification and pleasure and turn it inward toward understanding and self-awareness.  Once you have changed the perspective at which you view life and your journey you are going to see things you never even thought existed, more blessing are going to come your way, but as we change our focus, we must also release the past.  The past is a guide, a learning tool, something to look back on to correct our footing on the path, but nothing more.  You must keep in mind that the past is immutable, unchangeable, and can keep you prisoner.  Because how can you move forward if you are looking to the past, clinging to the baggage that needs to be surrendered and released?  And as you move along your journey there are going to be those that you have to leave behind because they aren't doing you any good, they are holding you back and trying to shift your focus in their direction.  Once you have cut them free and let them go new people will enter your life that will help you on your way.  Open your heart be in awe of the world and life around you. Revel in the majesty, mystery and beauty of God and the world.  Know in your heart that everything you do is for a reason, and is something to learn and grow by.  We are the sum of all the decisions and actions we choose.  Choose to live, choose to follow me and take the road less traveled.  Look deep within your self, you will find the answers are there waiting for you.  Don't worry what others think because in the long run their opinions aren't going to matter at all.  The life you lead is yours.  Embrace it openly and lovingly savor every single moment. Rejoice in the here and now, and as you move forward and better yourself, don't be surprised that everyone else is going to see and notice those changes.

Live well, love hard, be open, be safe, and walk with eyes of awe and wonder, enjoy everything around you to the fullest. Because as you know time is fleeting and if we don't take the opportunity to enjoy it before you know it life has already passed you by.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B