What I mean by this is you tell me something that you want me to believe you need to have performed some kind of action to support the deed that you are telling me about. It is so easy for us to lie to ourselves and even easier to lie to one another. Take it a different way, you tell me exactly what you think I want to hear and I am suppose to believe you on the basis of your statement. However, how can I believe what you are telling me when I know you. I have been around you and I know your actions and reactions to certain situations. As a friend we learn each others habits, tricks and faces, and when someone tries to get over on you, The first thing that comes to mind is it's all a lie.
The phrase keeps coming to mind "Actions speak louder than words" and that is a universal truth. The Bible even states that God helps those that helps themselves. In order for us to show our sincerity we have to be able to show actionable proof that we did something, that we accomplished something and that we aren't just full of bull. I know it is so easy to fall into a pattern of telling others what we think they want to hear, but we are just fooling ourselves, the other person knows we are full of it and that we didn't do what we are claiming.
It is so important more now than ever to be true to yourself. By this I mean you have to be brutally honest with yourself. You have to practice every day speaking the truth and only the truth. If you can master that then you are on the right track. Your deeds and your words will reflect one another and you become a person of integrity. See integrity is something that is so important today, money is scarce, jobs are hard to find and we are all struggling in some way or another. If you are a person of integrity you live as you preach. You are a man or woman of your word. Nothing can persuade you from that path. It is important for others to know that they can trust and count on you and that is the other part of integrity.
So let me break this down to you. Integrity is practicing what we preach, being 100 percent honest with ourselves and others, as well as being someone that another person can count on and trust in. There are too many people out there that are living in half truths and lies and they are expecting the rest of the world to believe them and the lies that they are selling. These are the people that you need to avoid and keep out of your life. You are here to make a change. To be better than you were and are, and in order to do this you must remain positive, faithful and truthful. The old adage is 100 percent dead on when they say " The Truth Shall Set You Free ". Try it I am sure you are going to get used to it.
That's right I believe that each and everyone of us needs to work on this issue. That we need to train ourselves and make ourselves be truthful not only to others but to ourselves as well. It is the nature of a man to tell a lie than to risk hurting another's feelings. I know this to be true because I catch myself at this all the time and I have to remember. That I would rather someone be 100 percent honest to my face and give me 15 minutes of pain, than for me to find out the truth from someone else the truth, because my pain is going to be so much worse having to find out the truth from another source. My trust will be broken with you and once trust is broken it is so hard to build back.
What am I trying to ell you in this entry? Exactly what I said at the beginning words are just words. Words can be used for communication, they can be used to build someone or something up, they can be used to hurt, maim or injure another. But, words are just that without any action behind them. As I have told you before, the worst wounds that another can inflict are wounds caused by words. Words that are spoken in anger, haste, or to tear down or degrade another person are words that cause wounds that will never heal. Trust will be lost, hope, faith, and even self-confidence can be ultimately destroyed by the words another inflicts upon you.
Yet, I have been saying that words without action are just words and that is true. However, using words to wound are words in action, you are openly telling someone something about another, or you are taking something that was given to you in trust and throwing back at the person who entrusted you and that is both deed and action combined. Why am I telling you this? Is this something that is important? I believe it is! Unintentionally I believe that someone has maligned my character, said stuff about me to get others to think about me a certain way. Now they know that they are lying but again they are trying to please another so they say hurtful and untruthful things.
An example of this recently came into my life through a bitter conversation with another person. This person claimed that because of my illness and surgeries that my anus was sown shut and that I couldn't have sex that way, Now I know that this was said to hurt me and make me feel bad about myself, but here is the rub. I don't have to respond or acknowledge that attack because I know and understand the truth of the situation. However, for arguments sake I will clarify my situation. In the past I have had a bowel resection this is where a part of the intestine is removed the two remaining parts are then fused back together. This causes a stricture or a narrowing of the walls, Over time this narrowing becomes harder to relax and open because of scare tissue. So the truth of the matter is this I can have sex that way. But in order to relax those muscles sufficiently takes time and effort. It is not impossible at all. So you see where I am going with this? The attack on me was unfounded and was not grounded in truth, so I didn't get angry at the situation, but I knew where the faulty information came from immediately and it saddened me that they had to lie about me to make themselves feel better about themselves.
When ever someone comes at you with words, take a few minutes before responding and actually think about your response, you will find that if you do this, it will unbalance the conversation and it will allow you to reveal the truth and your actions and words will demonstrate union where the other person will not be able substantiate what they have said.
Be careful with words, especially around children. Words are powerful and can do great things or cause great harm. Always remember that if you are true to yourself and honest with yourself you will be the same with everyone else.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
-Uncle B
Showing posts with label aspirations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aspirations. Show all posts
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Monday, August 6, 2012
All my life all I ever wanted to do was help other people
Believe it or not it is the truth, and those of you who have known me all my life can attest to the fact that I have continued to help everyone who needed it around me. Sometimes to the exclusion of my own needs, wants and desires. I would try and help as many people as I could till sometimes it hurt me and my relationships and friendships. My philosophy in life was a simple one you cannot use someone who knows what you are doing. Unfortunately, I got hurt by a lot of people who I was just trying to help. But in all honesty I wouldn't change anything I have done in my life. Because what I have been through has made me the person I am today. I have come through some really tough places, and been in some really strange situations, but I came away from all of it with a new understanding and knowledge that I would have missed out on if I hadn't had that particular experience.
I cannot say that my life has been a road full of joy, but I can tell you that it has been a great deal happier for all the people I have met and known on my journey. Trust and believe that journey is far from over, but my ideals have changed a bit, I have found a way to help people without jeopardizing myself or getting caught up in their drama. See usually it isn't necessarily the person that causes the problem, though you do run into those occasional few that try to run game on you, it is the drama that surrounds the person that causes the most problems. If you could detach the person from the drama that surrounds the problem or issue, you have a better chance of helping them. Though to be honest nine times out of ten it will be impossible, drama like to follow the downtrodden and that is just a fact of life.
I am here to tell you that you can help people, inspire them, and do great things without personally getting too involved in their life and their drama. You can offer words of encouragement, you can talk to them about their situation and offer solid real world advice, and they have to option to listen to you or carry on in their situation. You don't have to give them money, or housing, or food or any of those things, because you know what there are places and things that can help them, all you have to do is know the right resource to point them too. Now, I am not a proponent of leaving anyone on the streets, but I do know how effective it is to have 8 people crammed into your 2 bedroom apartment and you are the only one with income. Trust me you are going to quickly find out that your valuables and your hard earned money isn't going to be enough and before you know it you are going to be going through it. I learned in my last stay in Atlanta, that there is such a things as the word "NO" and that you have to exercise "Tough Love" sometimes in order to get someone motivated to do the right thing.
If you are like me and you love people and you have the desire to help them, find a way to do it that isn't going to jeopardize your well being and upset your social order, and bring discord into your life. Everyday I sit in front of my computer and I think of ways that I know of that can benefit other peoples lives, I write about them and post them here for you all to see. Yet, there is so much more that I want to do with my time and energy. I am wanting to start going on the lecture circuit and talk about cancer and other terminal illnesses like HIV and HEP C, because I have been exposed to all of those things, I have learned about them and what they mean. I am also a survivor, and I have some real world practical knowledge that I can share with people about these types of things. Now, honestly I have no real idea of how to break into that circuit, but trust me when I tell you I am going to find out. Because I want people to know that there is still life and plenty of things to do when you are afflicted with one of these things. There is so much to live for and to dream about, and do with your life, all you have to do is find the courage and the inspiration to follow through.
I encourage each and everyone of you to look around you, search the face of the people you know and find the inspiration in each of them, you know we all have a story, and we all have accomplishments that we should be proud of. I have never wanted to be famous or be more than I am, but I have had my chances, I can tell you I was well known when I worked for Disney, I met a lot of people in the entertainment industry, and some of them I made an impression on and some probably don't even remember my name, but then I moved to Atlanta and again I found myself in a position where I knew a lot of people and was influential in things pertaining to the government of the State of Georgia. I worked for 4 different Governors, and my opinion was asked for and valued at the same time. Now, here I am telling you that you can do it! You can be anything you want to be, but I want you to remember that you have to take care of yourself first, you must make sure that your needs are taken care of and met before you try to take care of anyone else's needs or problems, because if you don't one day you are going to wake up and realize that you have been taken for a ride, and everyone has left you and you have nothing left to give to anyone anymore. I know trust me I am speaking from personal experience here.
But, here is the thing about me, nothing keeps me down for long, I love people, and I love movies, and I love music, and I find inspiration in people and things that you probably aren't even aware of. I was on Google + a minute ago and Nicki Minaj is doing a question and answer on their and I saw her response to one girl who asked her is she would come and visit her school. Nicki's response was to email her because she didn't have any information on where this girl was at or where her school was. Now this is from a superstar, taking the interest here. I have been following Nicki's career with interest, and have encouraged her to read my blog, but who knows if she will or not, but I can tell you she is an inspiration to me, she gives me strength knowing that she is out there doing her best to be a role model for these young women, someone they can look up to. She teaches them to respect themselves and their talent, and to dare to dream, because dreams do come true. Now, I don't know if Nicki ever dreamed of when she signed with LiL Waynes label that she would become a role model or not, but I can tell you this, she is doing a great job with it. What's even better she is taking the time out of her schedule to address her fans one on one, and that is something that you don't see every star doing. I applaud her efforts and I know she is going to go far in this world.
My point in all of this, is if you want to help someone and they have truly asked for your help and you are willing to take on the challenge, then I encourage you to do so bravely, but remember to take care of yourself in the process, don't let them take more from you than you are willing to give, and know when to say No and when it is time to cut the strings, because there are some out there that will continue to take and never give in return, there are those that don't understand the concept of help, and in actuality all you end up doing is enabling them to continue in their own set behavior and never move out of it. Trust me I have been an enabler more times than I can to reiterate here, but let me tell you, if the person you are trying to help isn't trying to better themselves, and continues on in the same pattern of behavior you found them in, you need to cut the strings and walk away, because they aren't really looking for your help, they are trying to find someone who is going to provide for their current needs and forget the rest, and if you are not careful they may pull you down with them.
I live my life as an example of how you can change the way you were handling things to a better more constructive way. My blogging enables me to reach out and touch and help more people now more than ever, and I don't have to support them, feed them, or help them get drugs. Because you know what I have been there before and I can tell you that it can become defeatist if you let it, and you can get stuck in the same trap that the person you are trying to help is in and before you know it you are looking for a hand to help you out of your predicament. Trust me it isn't easy when you lose your way, and it is hard to get back on your feet when you are constantly starting over with nothing. But know this, you can benefit from each experience, you can learn from them and you can grow. Others will see what your about and take inspiration from it and try to emulate you. That is the best form of flattery if you ask me, if someone takes how you do things and imitates them.
I keep telling you that life is short and that you cannot help everyone in the world, and maybe I am wrong, because as of my 100th blog entry I have readers from 25 countries check out my blog. Now, I have no way of know if they have actually read it or what, but I can tell you that I have a lot of readers out there. Not many of them have actually joined my blog site, but I have a lot of people that email me and post on my Facebook and Twitter about my blog, so I am encouraged to keep on writing. I know that there are a lot of people out there that have heard what I am saying before, but they just need a reminder now and then. Other times, I feel the Spirit of the Lord or my Angels telling me that I need to write something, and before you know it I am getting a post or comment telling me thank you that it must have been meant for them because it came at just the right moment that they needed to hear it.
I write because it helps me deal with the situations I am going through, and I use examples from my own life and I try to keep the focus simple and easy to understand because, I want everyone to find some value or benefit from what I write. I am not making any money doing this, it is my passion and something that I am good at. I retired because of illness and I do this because I want to, not because I have to, and trust me if I don't write for a day I feel guilty even when I publish three in a day. But there are some days when I have to think a bit more about the topic I want to discuss because I haven't quite got it all worked out yet. But when I do I am back at the keyboard typing away.
So those of you that want to help others around you find a way like me to help them and others and do it in such a way that you are a positive role model that they can base their own choices on. Keep up a positive outlook on things and watch how much of a return you get in the sense of joy and satisfaction. Trust me you will be amazed at how good it feels knowing that you were able to help someone and that they benefited in some small way from your life and your example.
All of you keep up the good work, and please be sure to look around you and find inspiration in those that touch your life. Tell them thank you, share with them the encouragement and strength you have found in them, take time to appreciate them. Give thanks to God that he has brought them into your life.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I cannot say that my life has been a road full of joy, but I can tell you that it has been a great deal happier for all the people I have met and known on my journey. Trust and believe that journey is far from over, but my ideals have changed a bit, I have found a way to help people without jeopardizing myself or getting caught up in their drama. See usually it isn't necessarily the person that causes the problem, though you do run into those occasional few that try to run game on you, it is the drama that surrounds the person that causes the most problems. If you could detach the person from the drama that surrounds the problem or issue, you have a better chance of helping them. Though to be honest nine times out of ten it will be impossible, drama like to follow the downtrodden and that is just a fact of life.
I am here to tell you that you can help people, inspire them, and do great things without personally getting too involved in their life and their drama. You can offer words of encouragement, you can talk to them about their situation and offer solid real world advice, and they have to option to listen to you or carry on in their situation. You don't have to give them money, or housing, or food or any of those things, because you know what there are places and things that can help them, all you have to do is know the right resource to point them too. Now, I am not a proponent of leaving anyone on the streets, but I do know how effective it is to have 8 people crammed into your 2 bedroom apartment and you are the only one with income. Trust me you are going to quickly find out that your valuables and your hard earned money isn't going to be enough and before you know it you are going to be going through it. I learned in my last stay in Atlanta, that there is such a things as the word "NO" and that you have to exercise "Tough Love" sometimes in order to get someone motivated to do the right thing.
If you are like me and you love people and you have the desire to help them, find a way to do it that isn't going to jeopardize your well being and upset your social order, and bring discord into your life. Everyday I sit in front of my computer and I think of ways that I know of that can benefit other peoples lives, I write about them and post them here for you all to see. Yet, there is so much more that I want to do with my time and energy. I am wanting to start going on the lecture circuit and talk about cancer and other terminal illnesses like HIV and HEP C, because I have been exposed to all of those things, I have learned about them and what they mean. I am also a survivor, and I have some real world practical knowledge that I can share with people about these types of things. Now, honestly I have no real idea of how to break into that circuit, but trust me when I tell you I am going to find out. Because I want people to know that there is still life and plenty of things to do when you are afflicted with one of these things. There is so much to live for and to dream about, and do with your life, all you have to do is find the courage and the inspiration to follow through.
I encourage each and everyone of you to look around you, search the face of the people you know and find the inspiration in each of them, you know we all have a story, and we all have accomplishments that we should be proud of. I have never wanted to be famous or be more than I am, but I have had my chances, I can tell you I was well known when I worked for Disney, I met a lot of people in the entertainment industry, and some of them I made an impression on and some probably don't even remember my name, but then I moved to Atlanta and again I found myself in a position where I knew a lot of people and was influential in things pertaining to the government of the State of Georgia. I worked for 4 different Governors, and my opinion was asked for and valued at the same time. Now, here I am telling you that you can do it! You can be anything you want to be, but I want you to remember that you have to take care of yourself first, you must make sure that your needs are taken care of and met before you try to take care of anyone else's needs or problems, because if you don't one day you are going to wake up and realize that you have been taken for a ride, and everyone has left you and you have nothing left to give to anyone anymore. I know trust me I am speaking from personal experience here.
But, here is the thing about me, nothing keeps me down for long, I love people, and I love movies, and I love music, and I find inspiration in people and things that you probably aren't even aware of. I was on Google + a minute ago and Nicki Minaj is doing a question and answer on their and I saw her response to one girl who asked her is she would come and visit her school. Nicki's response was to email her because she didn't have any information on where this girl was at or where her school was. Now this is from a superstar, taking the interest here. I have been following Nicki's career with interest, and have encouraged her to read my blog, but who knows if she will or not, but I can tell you she is an inspiration to me, she gives me strength knowing that she is out there doing her best to be a role model for these young women, someone they can look up to. She teaches them to respect themselves and their talent, and to dare to dream, because dreams do come true. Now, I don't know if Nicki ever dreamed of when she signed with LiL Waynes label that she would become a role model or not, but I can tell you this, she is doing a great job with it. What's even better she is taking the time out of her schedule to address her fans one on one, and that is something that you don't see every star doing. I applaud her efforts and I know she is going to go far in this world.
My point in all of this, is if you want to help someone and they have truly asked for your help and you are willing to take on the challenge, then I encourage you to do so bravely, but remember to take care of yourself in the process, don't let them take more from you than you are willing to give, and know when to say No and when it is time to cut the strings, because there are some out there that will continue to take and never give in return, there are those that don't understand the concept of help, and in actuality all you end up doing is enabling them to continue in their own set behavior and never move out of it. Trust me I have been an enabler more times than I can to reiterate here, but let me tell you, if the person you are trying to help isn't trying to better themselves, and continues on in the same pattern of behavior you found them in, you need to cut the strings and walk away, because they aren't really looking for your help, they are trying to find someone who is going to provide for their current needs and forget the rest, and if you are not careful they may pull you down with them.
I live my life as an example of how you can change the way you were handling things to a better more constructive way. My blogging enables me to reach out and touch and help more people now more than ever, and I don't have to support them, feed them, or help them get drugs. Because you know what I have been there before and I can tell you that it can become defeatist if you let it, and you can get stuck in the same trap that the person you are trying to help is in and before you know it you are looking for a hand to help you out of your predicament. Trust me it isn't easy when you lose your way, and it is hard to get back on your feet when you are constantly starting over with nothing. But know this, you can benefit from each experience, you can learn from them and you can grow. Others will see what your about and take inspiration from it and try to emulate you. That is the best form of flattery if you ask me, if someone takes how you do things and imitates them.
I keep telling you that life is short and that you cannot help everyone in the world, and maybe I am wrong, because as of my 100th blog entry I have readers from 25 countries check out my blog. Now, I have no way of know if they have actually read it or what, but I can tell you that I have a lot of readers out there. Not many of them have actually joined my blog site, but I have a lot of people that email me and post on my Facebook and Twitter about my blog, so I am encouraged to keep on writing. I know that there are a lot of people out there that have heard what I am saying before, but they just need a reminder now and then. Other times, I feel the Spirit of the Lord or my Angels telling me that I need to write something, and before you know it I am getting a post or comment telling me thank you that it must have been meant for them because it came at just the right moment that they needed to hear it.
I write because it helps me deal with the situations I am going through, and I use examples from my own life and I try to keep the focus simple and easy to understand because, I want everyone to find some value or benefit from what I write. I am not making any money doing this, it is my passion and something that I am good at. I retired because of illness and I do this because I want to, not because I have to, and trust me if I don't write for a day I feel guilty even when I publish three in a day. But there are some days when I have to think a bit more about the topic I want to discuss because I haven't quite got it all worked out yet. But when I do I am back at the keyboard typing away.
So those of you that want to help others around you find a way like me to help them and others and do it in such a way that you are a positive role model that they can base their own choices on. Keep up a positive outlook on things and watch how much of a return you get in the sense of joy and satisfaction. Trust me you will be amazed at how good it feels knowing that you were able to help someone and that they benefited in some small way from your life and your example.
All of you keep up the good work, and please be sure to look around you and find inspiration in those that touch your life. Tell them thank you, share with them the encouragement and strength you have found in them, take time to appreciate them. Give thanks to God that he has brought them into your life.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Settling for other than you want and second guessing yourself is wrong
Life is full of changes, and when you come to a point in your life when you really want something, you have the means to achieve it but you are afraid that it will strain you financially. I want you to stop second guessing yourself, go for it! Don't settle for something less because it is less risky or expensive. When you start to settle for things that you don't want, or doesn't quite meet your expectations, you set a pattern for yourself that you might not be able to break out of.
Even when I was making good money, and doing alright for myself, I would be the last one to order a meal when out for dinner, I would wait and see what everyone else ordered, and then choose something less expensive. This wasn't because I had too, it was because I felt uncomfortable with the expense, and I always feared that I wouldn't be able to afford it. Even when I was in a relationship of 12 years, I sometimes still found myself in that mind frame, and would revert back to my old pattern of behavior. What is worse is that every time I would make a decision about a purchase, I would feel guilty about it. I would second guess myself and begin to worry. This is often referred to as buyers remorse. Believe it or not, millions of people suffer and are often plagued by this worry and guilt.
Ingrained patterns of behavior become habits over time and are extremely hard to break. In stressful situation, or situations where we feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable we can easily revert back to those old habits or patterns, even if we have left them behind for many years. So as life changes and hurtles and obstacles are put in our way, we need to change and adapt to them, or we are going to find ourselves unable to make a decision, be overwhelmed with stress over bills and sick with worry about where and how we are going to be pay for whatever it is that we have chosen to do. I know that this might be a little hard to follow, but I believe that once a worrier always a worrier. But I also know from previous experience that no matter how much I have worried and stressed out over situations, I was unable to change the outcome of the choice I had made. I also found that if I am constantly worried over something, I am not able to think of anything but the situation, much less try and figure out a solution to the problem. Sometimes, as the momentary panic had died down and the stress receded a little I found out that the universe or God always provides. Now, I am not saying go out there and get crazy spending large sums of money that you don't have and have no way of paying back. What I am saying is that if you are in a situation and you need or desire something and you are working hard and what you are wanting is not going to immediately cause damage.
Go for it, do what you feel comfortable with and what makes you happy. Even if things get tight for awhile a way will be provided to help you through, we are not left to fend for ourselves. Don't deny yourself things that are necessary, and don't choose to be second rate. Go for what you want, make yourself happy. As I have told you over and over again, life is too short. I don't want you to sweat the small shit in life! Let them pass, they will take care of themselves in the long run. Now, you have to understand that I am talking about small things, necessary items, and so forth. I am not telling you to go out and buy a Ferrari, unless you have the money to make the down payment, and the payments aren't going to cripple you to the point that you cannot take care of any other bill or yourself. Be reasonable, but if it really is something you want then I think you should go for it.
This weekend my father and I went out car shopping, he found a car for $1295.00 he thought that I should buy it. But, it wasn't me, and I knew I wouldn't be happy driving it. I stood my ground and went looking for something more my style and that I would feel comfortable with. I decided to stand my ground and get something that I liked and wanted. Now, I have a car payment and collision insurance, bills that I honestly wasn't wanting or planning on. However, I realized that if I didn't take matters into my own hands and make some sort of decision I was going to end up with car I wasn't comfortable with. Yes, the payments are monthly and that wasn't in my budget either, I was planning on buying a cash car, and making due. But, in the end I wasn't going to be happy at all. So I did what I thought was best. I bought something that I was interested in and I liked, I fretted and worried about the amount of money that I was spending and how much it is going to cost me over the next 2 1/2 years, but I stuck to my guns and got something that I liked.
How many times have you chosen to settle without thinking about your wants, needs and desires? I bet it has been a lot, and you were never really happy with the choice you made. I want you to know that I have been there right with you. As with all things you have to do them in moderation and at small manageable chunks at a time. You have to be willing to think and find a solution, confront your fear that you have over extended yourself and push aside the feeling that you are doomed because you don't know how you are going to cover the added expense. In this situation you have to be open minded and willing to work toward a solution. You aren't the first one that has made a decision that was extremely costly and had to think outside of the box to find a workable solution to the issue at hand.
Have you ever heard the saying " God helps those that help themselves" this is sincerely true. He is not going to let you falter or fall, He doesn't put us in situations that are greater than our ability to confront them and overcome them. Like I said earlier the universe or God will provide. He will make a way for you to come through the situation in a much better and stronger place. Some how and someway that you have never dreamed of the money to cover the situation will come. Seemingly it will come from nowhere, and you will look back at all the posturing and stress and realize that you had made the right decision and that everything will work itself out. You can do this, you can disrupt your pattern of behavior and break the habit, and what seemed so daunting a task will begin to become manageable and you will succeed.
Again, I am not telling you to go out and run up your credit cards, or buy things you want just so you can have them, you need to act moderately and work toward getting them. You have to be willing to work hard and do what you can, because I promise you the rest will come. Don't try to put on airs and live above your means because if you do this, I guarantee you will be continue to struggle, and won't be able to come up with a solution to help you out. Keep the things that you buy down to necessary items, food, housing, transportation, utilities, etc. If you do this I promise you that if you need something really desperately a way will be made for you to have it. Same thing with wanting something, if it truly is something you cannot live without, a way will be provided to help you through the struggle. As I have said before nothing worth doing is ever easy and I mean that.
The reason why I am telling you this is because I want you to understand, that settling for something and making yourself miserable is not going to get you anywhere. Only you can make yourself happy, you have to do for yourself and provide for yourself, no matter how much it hurts you, because a way will be made to help you through. In the example above about the car, I was in desperate need of my own reliable transportation, I was being pushed one way and instead of settling for just old anything, I was determined to get what I want. I know that I am going to be struggling for the next few months till I can get everything back under control, but I know that I am not going to worry about it because God has my back. He isn't going to let me fail, because He alone knows how hard I have been trying to reach this goal. Yes, I will admit that I am a bit worried about the payments and other things because that takes a big chunk out of my disability check. But I know in my heart that if I am short, a way will be provided for me to have what I need to make this work.
Stressing over money is one of the biggest problems we have in this world today. But I am hear to tell you that if you keep the Faith, God will help you and keep you afloat. Be sure to do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do, then just do it. After that God will help you manage it. Remember to always to make yourself happy, don't worry about how other people feel about what you are doing. Remember you can't please everyone all of the time, but you sure can make sure you please yourself.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Even when I was making good money, and doing alright for myself, I would be the last one to order a meal when out for dinner, I would wait and see what everyone else ordered, and then choose something less expensive. This wasn't because I had too, it was because I felt uncomfortable with the expense, and I always feared that I wouldn't be able to afford it. Even when I was in a relationship of 12 years, I sometimes still found myself in that mind frame, and would revert back to my old pattern of behavior. What is worse is that every time I would make a decision about a purchase, I would feel guilty about it. I would second guess myself and begin to worry. This is often referred to as buyers remorse. Believe it or not, millions of people suffer and are often plagued by this worry and guilt.
Ingrained patterns of behavior become habits over time and are extremely hard to break. In stressful situation, or situations where we feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable we can easily revert back to those old habits or patterns, even if we have left them behind for many years. So as life changes and hurtles and obstacles are put in our way, we need to change and adapt to them, or we are going to find ourselves unable to make a decision, be overwhelmed with stress over bills and sick with worry about where and how we are going to be pay for whatever it is that we have chosen to do. I know that this might be a little hard to follow, but I believe that once a worrier always a worrier. But I also know from previous experience that no matter how much I have worried and stressed out over situations, I was unable to change the outcome of the choice I had made. I also found that if I am constantly worried over something, I am not able to think of anything but the situation, much less try and figure out a solution to the problem. Sometimes, as the momentary panic had died down and the stress receded a little I found out that the universe or God always provides. Now, I am not saying go out there and get crazy spending large sums of money that you don't have and have no way of paying back. What I am saying is that if you are in a situation and you need or desire something and you are working hard and what you are wanting is not going to immediately cause damage.
Go for it, do what you feel comfortable with and what makes you happy. Even if things get tight for awhile a way will be provided to help you through, we are not left to fend for ourselves. Don't deny yourself things that are necessary, and don't choose to be second rate. Go for what you want, make yourself happy. As I have told you over and over again, life is too short. I don't want you to sweat the small shit in life! Let them pass, they will take care of themselves in the long run. Now, you have to understand that I am talking about small things, necessary items, and so forth. I am not telling you to go out and buy a Ferrari, unless you have the money to make the down payment, and the payments aren't going to cripple you to the point that you cannot take care of any other bill or yourself. Be reasonable, but if it really is something you want then I think you should go for it.
This weekend my father and I went out car shopping, he found a car for $1295.00 he thought that I should buy it. But, it wasn't me, and I knew I wouldn't be happy driving it. I stood my ground and went looking for something more my style and that I would feel comfortable with. I decided to stand my ground and get something that I liked and wanted. Now, I have a car payment and collision insurance, bills that I honestly wasn't wanting or planning on. However, I realized that if I didn't take matters into my own hands and make some sort of decision I was going to end up with car I wasn't comfortable with. Yes, the payments are monthly and that wasn't in my budget either, I was planning on buying a cash car, and making due. But, in the end I wasn't going to be happy at all. So I did what I thought was best. I bought something that I was interested in and I liked, I fretted and worried about the amount of money that I was spending and how much it is going to cost me over the next 2 1/2 years, but I stuck to my guns and got something that I liked.
How many times have you chosen to settle without thinking about your wants, needs and desires? I bet it has been a lot, and you were never really happy with the choice you made. I want you to know that I have been there right with you. As with all things you have to do them in moderation and at small manageable chunks at a time. You have to be willing to think and find a solution, confront your fear that you have over extended yourself and push aside the feeling that you are doomed because you don't know how you are going to cover the added expense. In this situation you have to be open minded and willing to work toward a solution. You aren't the first one that has made a decision that was extremely costly and had to think outside of the box to find a workable solution to the issue at hand.
Have you ever heard the saying " God helps those that help themselves" this is sincerely true. He is not going to let you falter or fall, He doesn't put us in situations that are greater than our ability to confront them and overcome them. Like I said earlier the universe or God will provide. He will make a way for you to come through the situation in a much better and stronger place. Some how and someway that you have never dreamed of the money to cover the situation will come. Seemingly it will come from nowhere, and you will look back at all the posturing and stress and realize that you had made the right decision and that everything will work itself out. You can do this, you can disrupt your pattern of behavior and break the habit, and what seemed so daunting a task will begin to become manageable and you will succeed.
Again, I am not telling you to go out and run up your credit cards, or buy things you want just so you can have them, you need to act moderately and work toward getting them. You have to be willing to work hard and do what you can, because I promise you the rest will come. Don't try to put on airs and live above your means because if you do this, I guarantee you will be continue to struggle, and won't be able to come up with a solution to help you out. Keep the things that you buy down to necessary items, food, housing, transportation, utilities, etc. If you do this I promise you that if you need something really desperately a way will be made for you to have it. Same thing with wanting something, if it truly is something you cannot live without, a way will be provided to help you through the struggle. As I have said before nothing worth doing is ever easy and I mean that.
The reason why I am telling you this is because I want you to understand, that settling for something and making yourself miserable is not going to get you anywhere. Only you can make yourself happy, you have to do for yourself and provide for yourself, no matter how much it hurts you, because a way will be made to help you through. In the example above about the car, I was in desperate need of my own reliable transportation, I was being pushed one way and instead of settling for just old anything, I was determined to get what I want. I know that I am going to be struggling for the next few months till I can get everything back under control, but I know that I am not going to worry about it because God has my back. He isn't going to let me fail, because He alone knows how hard I have been trying to reach this goal. Yes, I will admit that I am a bit worried about the payments and other things because that takes a big chunk out of my disability check. But I know in my heart that if I am short, a way will be provided for me to have what I need to make this work.
Stressing over money is one of the biggest problems we have in this world today. But I am hear to tell you that if you keep the Faith, God will help you and keep you afloat. Be sure to do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do, then just do it. After that God will help you manage it. Remember to always to make yourself happy, don't worry about how other people feel about what you are doing. Remember you can't please everyone all of the time, but you sure can make sure you please yourself.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Reflections on Happiness
I have been thinking a great deal about happiness lately. We are raised in our society to go out and pursue happiness. We set expectations and goals thinking that these are going to bring us happiness. Some people struggle to find happiness in their work, others in their possessions, some in their children, home, car, etc.
What I have realized after this last meeting with my own mortality is that happiness is not some external force or item. It isn't attained by reaching a goal or landing that fabulous job we have always wanted. Happiness is a state of being.
Happiness comes from with in ourselves, it is the joy of helping others, it is becoming comfortable with who you are. But lets go a little further. Happiness is the key ingredient needed to become truly prosperous. Now by prosperity, I am not talking just financial wealth, I am talking about a truly happy and prosperous person.
Happiness comes from an inner harmony of your mind and your heart. Happiness is becoming self aware, content and happy with where you are at in your life. Happiness is understanding that everyday is a blessing and we need to be thankful for the things that we have in our lives and what we have achieved to that point.
Now Prosperity builds on this: you see a truly prosperous person has become content and accepting of who and what they have at every given moment of their life. It doesn't mean that they don't have any goals or aspirations, it means that they have accepted themselves for who they are, they acknowledge their limitations and shortcomings, regroup and stay focused on their next endeavor. Being happy is a state of consciousness that allows positive energy to flow around you and through you. It enables you to draw more positive energy into your life. Prosperity utilizes that energy and allows you to be open and receptive to your blessings.
Now that I have brought up the subject of positive energy, I would like to explain it to you in as simple a way as I can. Spiritual energy or energy of the soul or ethereal energy is an energy force that is around us all throughout nature. Now this energy field (which auras and the current that flows through our human body) acts and reacts differently than the electrical energy or current of the physical or real universe ie: our conscious reality of daily life. You have to understand that in our physical world that is governed by science and the natural laws of physics opposite energies attract one another. An example of this can be conducted by a simple experiment using two magnets. If you remember from physics class each magnet has two poles a positive and a negative pole. Now, if you place the two magnets with poles facing each other the positive pole to positive pole the magnet is pushed away from each other..The opposite is also true that the negative sides will also repel each other. The magnets when put in close proximity with the opposite poles facing each other will be pulled together. This is commonly referred to as the law of attraction.
Using that knowledge as a basis, you will begin to understand that spiritual energy or ethereal energy operates in a totally opposite fashion. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. The more positive energy we send out into the world the more positive we receive back. So you may be asking yourself at this point what has all of this to do with being happy. This is the basis of becoming aware of yourself and the energy around you. You will be more receptive through prayer, meditation, or positive visualization, these harmonize the mind, body and soul, into a higher state of consciousness and open us up for our desires to be manifested from our mind into the spiritual world, which in turn manifests them in the physical world. So yes, you can make yourself well, you can achieve anything that you truly set your mind upon.
However, happiness is a man made vice that if you go off to seek it you will never find it. You must reach within yourself and see what you have accomplished, who you have helped and touched and be comfortable with where you are at each stage your life. You must know that the road is long and when you hit a road bump or a fork in the road, that it is just that it is a thing to overcome or a place to make a choice, but if you are content and comfortable with yourself you will have happiness throughout your journey. You don't know the future or what it holds, but you do know where you were, where you have come from and you know how you have grown, rejoice and enjoy see the happiness and seize it. Because the next phase is going to be so much easier once you have done it.
Have you ever come to a place where all the doors are closed? Have you stopped and wondered why? Think about this...maybe all the doors are closed so when you open one it will lead you to the right road you need to be upon.
Thanks for reading this and staying with me this far...let me know what you think....I will write some more of my reflections hopefully they will be able to uplift and help someone.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
What I have realized after this last meeting with my own mortality is that happiness is not some external force or item. It isn't attained by reaching a goal or landing that fabulous job we have always wanted. Happiness is a state of being.
Happiness comes from with in ourselves, it is the joy of helping others, it is becoming comfortable with who you are. But lets go a little further. Happiness is the key ingredient needed to become truly prosperous. Now by prosperity, I am not talking just financial wealth, I am talking about a truly happy and prosperous person.
Happiness comes from an inner harmony of your mind and your heart. Happiness is becoming self aware, content and happy with where you are at in your life. Happiness is understanding that everyday is a blessing and we need to be thankful for the things that we have in our lives and what we have achieved to that point.
Now Prosperity builds on this: you see a truly prosperous person has become content and accepting of who and what they have at every given moment of their life. It doesn't mean that they don't have any goals or aspirations, it means that they have accepted themselves for who they are, they acknowledge their limitations and shortcomings, regroup and stay focused on their next endeavor. Being happy is a state of consciousness that allows positive energy to flow around you and through you. It enables you to draw more positive energy into your life. Prosperity utilizes that energy and allows you to be open and receptive to your blessings.
Now that I have brought up the subject of positive energy, I would like to explain it to you in as simple a way as I can. Spiritual energy or energy of the soul or ethereal energy is an energy force that is around us all throughout nature. Now this energy field (which auras and the current that flows through our human body) acts and reacts differently than the electrical energy or current of the physical or real universe ie: our conscious reality of daily life. You have to understand that in our physical world that is governed by science and the natural laws of physics opposite energies attract one another. An example of this can be conducted by a simple experiment using two magnets. If you remember from physics class each magnet has two poles a positive and a negative pole. Now, if you place the two magnets with poles facing each other the positive pole to positive pole the magnet is pushed away from each other..The opposite is also true that the negative sides will also repel each other. The magnets when put in close proximity with the opposite poles facing each other will be pulled together. This is commonly referred to as the law of attraction.
Using that knowledge as a basis, you will begin to understand that spiritual energy or ethereal energy operates in a totally opposite fashion. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. The more positive energy we send out into the world the more positive we receive back. So you may be asking yourself at this point what has all of this to do with being happy. This is the basis of becoming aware of yourself and the energy around you. You will be more receptive through prayer, meditation, or positive visualization, these harmonize the mind, body and soul, into a higher state of consciousness and open us up for our desires to be manifested from our mind into the spiritual world, which in turn manifests them in the physical world. So yes, you can make yourself well, you can achieve anything that you truly set your mind upon.
However, happiness is a man made vice that if you go off to seek it you will never find it. You must reach within yourself and see what you have accomplished, who you have helped and touched and be comfortable with where you are at each stage your life. You must know that the road is long and when you hit a road bump or a fork in the road, that it is just that it is a thing to overcome or a place to make a choice, but if you are content and comfortable with yourself you will have happiness throughout your journey. You don't know the future or what it holds, but you do know where you were, where you have come from and you know how you have grown, rejoice and enjoy see the happiness and seize it. Because the next phase is going to be so much easier once you have done it.
Have you ever come to a place where all the doors are closed? Have you stopped and wondered why? Think about this...maybe all the doors are closed so when you open one it will lead you to the right road you need to be upon.
Thanks for reading this and staying with me this far...let me know what you think....I will write some more of my reflections hopefully they will be able to uplift and help someone.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
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