I give and you take this is the story of my life. Or has been up till now, for years I was walking around invisible, the man behind the men in my life. I was taking care of the messes, the issues, the financials but I was behind the scenes. No one ever cared about my feelings, I was the one making all the sacrifices and the hard decision that needed to be made. I was essentially on my own taking care of everyone around me in ways that they didn't even consider. Now that I have reached the ripe ole age of 50 I am beginning to start a new chapter in my life and I don't want to be confined to the backseat role that I have always had.
No that life isn't for me anymore. I am not content just staying in the background and lurking in the shadows. I want the world to see me and I want center stage for a change. Someone needs to put me first and foremost in their life and if they can't do it, then it is time for me to move on. My name should have been Mat because essentially that is what I relegated myself too. I became the doormat for everyone to walk across as they came upon me. In order to get to the other side they had to walk right over me and you know what I let them. By holding in the hurt, sadness, disappointment and anger that I felt, I passively let each person continue on like I was just a fly necessary but a nuisance. I am very tired of feeling that way, and I have come to the point in my life, that it has become alright if I am alone.
I don't need anyone else to make me feel worse about myself than I already do. I need someone to lift me up and put me as priority and I will not settle anymore for less than that. With everything that I have been through and all that I have endured you would think that a simple relationship would be easy for me, but it has been the hardest work of my life, and I am still in a position where I feel like I am second rate. I should feel like a champion, I should have strength of mind and body to ensure that I am taking care of. Yet, for some reason I have yet to understand, I seem to put everyone else ahead of me and I am surprised when I end up getting hurt by them. Nothing has ever prepared me for the treachery of the human mind, and I guess that I have been setting myself up for failure all along, by not being able to remain alone, I open myself up to the predators of the world. They see my kind heart and good nature as a plaything that they can manipulate and use me. Guilt is their most effective weapon and I have begun withdrawing myself from the world and those around me. I am not going to be used and walked on for the rest of my life.
Somewhere out there there has to be some soul that is sympathetic to mine and who will love me and cherish me as much as I do them. All my friends tell me that I am a wonderful and beautiful person, so why can't I find a partner who see's me as they do? Why must I only find those that choose to use me and manipulate me, that eventually leave me broken hearted and damaged and alone. Where I have to pick up the shattered remains of my life and move on by myself, struggling to come to grips with the fact that the person I have spent my time, energy, money and resources on doesn't care enough to stay around when I need them the most.
Once upon a time there was someone that I grew close too and we were together a long time, we did everything together, though at first we didn't like one another something happened and 10 years later I am wondering where he went and why he left. When he was seriously ill I stayed with him and took care of him, got him back to health and put up with him going out and leaving for days on end and hooking up with other people, but eventually I went through a similar medical situation and I needed him and guess what after all that time together off and on he took off and never came back. I was younger then and I was able to finally slowly recover on my own, but in the long run things never got back to same place. Yes, we have stayed in touch but we have never gotten back together and that is no longer in the cards for us. We have drifted apart and taken different paths that are no longer in sync with one another, instead of converging at this point they are diverging and getting wider apart with each passing year.
A relationship is supposed to be a mutual agreement between two people that have similar goals and desires who choose to team up and help each other achieve those said goals. It is a partnership based on trust and compromise, that also has a physical aspect to it that makes it worthwhile. If said relationship lacks any of these qualities it falls apart fairly rapidly. One party or the other is unhappy and tensions build inside and tear the thing apart. Usually, one or the other partner cares more about one than the other and that is what makes it so easy for it to be torn apart. But the one that loves the least ends up with the power in the relationship because they end up being the one that has the strength to leave and move on with their lives the easiest. The one with the most love invested in the situation is the one that is left behind hurt and wondering what really went wrong with the situation in the first place. Most of the time they are blissfully unaware that their partner is unhappy and wandering. They have the most time and money also invested in the relationship so when they other leaves the other is ruined both emotionally, financially and worse off mentally.
My whole life has been a series of this unfortunate unions and you would think that I would have learned how to guard my heart and let a callous form around it to protect it from giving out that love again so easily, but in my case that would mean a total alteration in my personality and I am afraid that I would lose the big heart that I am known for. It is a pattern of behavior that I have to learn to break otherwise it will continue to happen to me over and over again if I let it.
I talk about patterns a lot and how we as individuals can get locked in to those patterns and if repeated enough they become second nature too us and become a habit. The courts call this Habitual Offense it proves a proven pattern of repeat behavior that will continue unless the cycle is somehow broken. The legal system feels that incarceration is the answer to break these patterns of behavior, but I don't think that works out like they hope, because in my experience once that person is released from jail they immediately revert to the old familiar patterns. My belief is that we can only break a pattern of behavior if we chose to directly replace that pattern with a different one that yields better results. Habits can be broken but take time and a lot of practice, they also need to be watched and worked at vigorously to keep them broken or they creep back and we relapse. Patterns are so ingrained in us that they cannot be broken they have to be replaced. I know that I said that I believe that patterns if done enough become habit, but now that I focus on it more closely the truth has become evident it is the habits that if done long enough become patterns and those patterns in turn keep us locked into a cycle of behavior that our mind just accepts as it's new reality. To truly break out of pattern we much replace it like I said and that requires us to change the entire parameters that make up the pattern, such as people, place, things, situations, triggers and memories. This becomes truly hard and that is why addiction is such a hard thing to overcome and why many people fall back and relapse time after time.
Nothing is easy in this life and if it hurts you learn from it and it changes you both fundamentally and mentally. I find that the more you have to work for and the harder you strive to get what you want the more you cherish what you achieve. With this in mind and a positive mental attitude you can achieve anything that you set your sights on. No one promised you that life would not have issues or difficulties along the way, and we are creatures of habit and fall into patterns of habit that become hard to break, but everything in this world can be changed if you put your mind to it. Always remember that every situation has a time limit. Every event that happens in your life is only temporary and will soon pass by. So at this point whatever difficulty you are facing, whether it is something that you know how to accomplish or not, keep in mind that it is just a flash in the pan, and that life will continue on. Minutes keep ticking by even in your are laying down, they keep going if you are in jail or sick and in the hospital. Nothing is forever but death and thoughts, and time. Everything else will pass by if you just keep going.
Some of the fundamental tenants that I live by is that you can change the outlook on things by changing your point of view and you can alter your perception of things by adjusting your mental attitude. Life is full of a series of roadblocks, pitfalls, and traps, but these only serve to make your stronger for the journey ahead. Also that it is not the destination that matter but the path you choose to take because that is what is going to define you. Never look back on your past and be disappointed in where you are, look closely to the journey you took to get there and all the things that you have learned along the way. A positive mental attitude will set you up for a very positive day and will disperse any negative energy that might be lingering in your path. Smile and be glad of heart because you have a new day to rejoice in with no mistakes in it, so go ahead and screw it up your worst because you will have another chance to do it all again tomorrow. Don't let other peoples opinions way you down, march to your own drum and be your own individual, because in the long run only you can create your own happiness, no one can do it for you. Always remember that you never know where a casual conversation will lead you and who you might meet because of it. Life is full of mysteries, learn a little something new everyday and you will feel better and like you have accomplished something. I could go on but I think that you are getting the point.
But the final thought that I want to leave with you before I close out this entry is that never take more than you give, and never keep those around that are taking more than they are giving back because those that don't give as much as you will eventually throw you out of balance and cause you negativity to build up in your life you don't need that, cut them loose because they really aren't good friends and they are definitely healthy for you to keep around you. Negative energy attracts more negative energy, and the opposite is true as well positive attracts positive and will increase your longevity in the long run. I am living proof of that
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Showing posts with label agendas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label agendas. Show all posts
Monday, January 14, 2019
Sunday, February 25, 2018
Rebuilding from the past
When I first moved to Florida I came with nothing except the clothes on my back, literally. I had on a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants and nothing else except a broken cell phone. During my first 8 months I experienced some setback such as going into the hospital literally 2 days after I got here. I was in there for 14 days because my colon ruptured in 2 places while I was in there. However, I was able to make a recovery, get a job and was able to get clothes that I needed and I was able to purchase things that I wanted along the way. I got a job, bought a car, and got my own place on top of all of those things. I can't say that I was happy but it didn't take me long to get furniture. Luckily there was a place called Our Father's Closet not too far from my house that gave me a sofa bed, and some other items like a coffee table, end tables and a lamp. I got a TV from a pawn shop and I was on my way. Over the past 6 years or so I ended up loosing several places where I had lived, ended up homeless and most of my stuff ended up in storage units from Florida to Pennsylvania, which I had successfully kept up with till last summer when I had an unfortunate run in with the law.
I was on the street literally from July till December. When a friend of mine reached out and opened up his home to me and allowed me to come and stay with him and his partner. I am extremely grateful to Travis and Demario for allowing me to come into their home. Life hasn't been kind to me if the truth is to be told. Most of you already know from reading and following my blog that I have several medical issues and the list seems to be growing longer each passing month. However, the month of February I took the time for myself and I started rebuilding all of the things that I had lost over the past several years. This month I took money and bought myself a TV and I also got myself a computer and a printer. I even purchased a tablet, however, my mother being in a similar situation to mine health wise, I have decided that I am going to send her the tablet that I have bought and wait for a little bit and before I buy another tablet. It might take me some time but I know that with all the trips to the doctors and labs that need to be done that I am going to continue to be busy till I can get all of these surgeries done and over with that they are saying that I am needing.
I started going to pain management and I am finding that the medication that they have me on now isn't really helping me all that much. I seem to be taking more and more just to get through the day with out any pain. So I expressed interest in getting on Medical Marijuana but currently at the price point that they are charging here in Florida it really puts it out of my reach. I am not sure what I am going to do. I am pretty sure that my friends aren't going to want me staying with them forever, and I am sure that it would be better to get out on my own. But, with only being here a few months I am still not sure of my way around. My friend Travis grew up here and is very familiar with the area so I rely on him pretty heavily. I just fear that I am getting on their nerves and making them uncomfortable in their own home.
I have been here exactly 2 1/2 months and I am hoping that in the next 2 or so that I will have enough money saved up that I might be able to get out on my own. However, this is something that I am trying to work on. Though with every turn something seems to come up and I end up spending money that I wasn't planning on. My mother's cell phone died totally and wouldn't turn on at all. This was a necessary expense and I was glad I was in a position to get her a new one. But since I have been here I have been running into all sorts of obstacles. Like the UF Health here in Jacksonville is not in my network but the one in Gainesville is. I am frustrated by this. I am also having trouble with Ryan White here, for the past 7 years they have been paying my copays to the VA and here in Jacksonville they won't. I am not sure what I should do and starting next month the VA is going to start garnishing my check. Further, my partner had me bail him out of jail and then missed court. So now the bondsman is coming after me for the 3000.00 so that is going to end up coming out of my check.
So it seems for every step that I take forward, I end up falling 20 steps behind. I am not sure if I am going to recover from this fiasco altogether. I figure that during this time when I have the little extra funds available to me that I should purchase the things that I want and need before all the garnishments hit my Social Security check. That way when they do come I will not be needing things, I will have already built them up from. My next big expenditure is going to be the installation of my own internet here at the house that way I don't have to rely on my friends totally for everything. Sometimes I just feel like they think that I am trying to take advantage of their kindness and I don't want to overstep my bounds.
Overall, I am feeling great about the accomplishments that I have made since I have been here and the change of environment and scenery have really helped me maintain focus towards furthering my goal. My big thing is that I am really trying to fit in and at times I feel like I am keeping my friends from the things that they are needing to do because they are worried about me. Over the next month or two I am hoping that I will have either saved enough money to get a vehicle or a place of my own. That way they won't think that I am wasting my money on things and not making sure that they are taken care of. I also need to figure out how to work around my direct deposit issues with the credit union that I am a member of. I like the fact that I can transfer funds directly from my checking account directly onto my credit card and not have to worry about incurring an fees or late charges.
That is another thing that I have accomplished. I was able to get myself 2 credit cards. I am hoping that I will be able to begin rebuilding my credit and work towards getting myself totally back on my feet.
Right now I am worried about my upcoming appointment with the neurosurgeon I am waiting to see what type of treatment he is going to recommend. At this point I have had 3 MRIs and I have to schedule a PET scan tomorrow. I am struggling to keep up with all of my appointments and getting to and from them conveniently.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I set out on rebuilding my life from the remnants of my past.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I was on the street literally from July till December. When a friend of mine reached out and opened up his home to me and allowed me to come and stay with him and his partner. I am extremely grateful to Travis and Demario for allowing me to come into their home. Life hasn't been kind to me if the truth is to be told. Most of you already know from reading and following my blog that I have several medical issues and the list seems to be growing longer each passing month. However, the month of February I took the time for myself and I started rebuilding all of the things that I had lost over the past several years. This month I took money and bought myself a TV and I also got myself a computer and a printer. I even purchased a tablet, however, my mother being in a similar situation to mine health wise, I have decided that I am going to send her the tablet that I have bought and wait for a little bit and before I buy another tablet. It might take me some time but I know that with all the trips to the doctors and labs that need to be done that I am going to continue to be busy till I can get all of these surgeries done and over with that they are saying that I am needing.
I started going to pain management and I am finding that the medication that they have me on now isn't really helping me all that much. I seem to be taking more and more just to get through the day with out any pain. So I expressed interest in getting on Medical Marijuana but currently at the price point that they are charging here in Florida it really puts it out of my reach. I am not sure what I am going to do. I am pretty sure that my friends aren't going to want me staying with them forever, and I am sure that it would be better to get out on my own. But, with only being here a few months I am still not sure of my way around. My friend Travis grew up here and is very familiar with the area so I rely on him pretty heavily. I just fear that I am getting on their nerves and making them uncomfortable in their own home.
I have been here exactly 2 1/2 months and I am hoping that in the next 2 or so that I will have enough money saved up that I might be able to get out on my own. However, this is something that I am trying to work on. Though with every turn something seems to come up and I end up spending money that I wasn't planning on. My mother's cell phone died totally and wouldn't turn on at all. This was a necessary expense and I was glad I was in a position to get her a new one. But since I have been here I have been running into all sorts of obstacles. Like the UF Health here in Jacksonville is not in my network but the one in Gainesville is. I am frustrated by this. I am also having trouble with Ryan White here, for the past 7 years they have been paying my copays to the VA and here in Jacksonville they won't. I am not sure what I should do and starting next month the VA is going to start garnishing my check. Further, my partner had me bail him out of jail and then missed court. So now the bondsman is coming after me for the 3000.00 so that is going to end up coming out of my check.
So it seems for every step that I take forward, I end up falling 20 steps behind. I am not sure if I am going to recover from this fiasco altogether. I figure that during this time when I have the little extra funds available to me that I should purchase the things that I want and need before all the garnishments hit my Social Security check. That way when they do come I will not be needing things, I will have already built them up from. My next big expenditure is going to be the installation of my own internet here at the house that way I don't have to rely on my friends totally for everything. Sometimes I just feel like they think that I am trying to take advantage of their kindness and I don't want to overstep my bounds.
Overall, I am feeling great about the accomplishments that I have made since I have been here and the change of environment and scenery have really helped me maintain focus towards furthering my goal. My big thing is that I am really trying to fit in and at times I feel like I am keeping my friends from the things that they are needing to do because they are worried about me. Over the next month or two I am hoping that I will have either saved enough money to get a vehicle or a place of my own. That way they won't think that I am wasting my money on things and not making sure that they are taken care of. I also need to figure out how to work around my direct deposit issues with the credit union that I am a member of. I like the fact that I can transfer funds directly from my checking account directly onto my credit card and not have to worry about incurring an fees or late charges.
That is another thing that I have accomplished. I was able to get myself 2 credit cards. I am hoping that I will be able to begin rebuilding my credit and work towards getting myself totally back on my feet.
Right now I am worried about my upcoming appointment with the neurosurgeon I am waiting to see what type of treatment he is going to recommend. At this point I have had 3 MRIs and I have to schedule a PET scan tomorrow. I am struggling to keep up with all of my appointments and getting to and from them conveniently.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I set out on rebuilding my life from the remnants of my past.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Words are just words without any action to support them?
What I mean by this is you tell me something that you want me to believe you need to have performed some kind of action to support the deed that you are telling me about. It is so easy for us to lie to ourselves and even easier to lie to one another. Take it a different way, you tell me exactly what you think I want to hear and I am suppose to believe you on the basis of your statement. However, how can I believe what you are telling me when I know you. I have been around you and I know your actions and reactions to certain situations. As a friend we learn each others habits, tricks and faces, and when someone tries to get over on you, The first thing that comes to mind is it's all a lie.
The phrase keeps coming to mind "Actions speak louder than words" and that is a universal truth. The Bible even states that God helps those that helps themselves. In order for us to show our sincerity we have to be able to show actionable proof that we did something, that we accomplished something and that we aren't just full of bull. I know it is so easy to fall into a pattern of telling others what we think they want to hear, but we are just fooling ourselves, the other person knows we are full of it and that we didn't do what we are claiming.
It is so important more now than ever to be true to yourself. By this I mean you have to be brutally honest with yourself. You have to practice every day speaking the truth and only the truth. If you can master that then you are on the right track. Your deeds and your words will reflect one another and you become a person of integrity. See integrity is something that is so important today, money is scarce, jobs are hard to find and we are all struggling in some way or another. If you are a person of integrity you live as you preach. You are a man or woman of your word. Nothing can persuade you from that path. It is important for others to know that they can trust and count on you and that is the other part of integrity.
So let me break this down to you. Integrity is practicing what we preach, being 100 percent honest with ourselves and others, as well as being someone that another person can count on and trust in. There are too many people out there that are living in half truths and lies and they are expecting the rest of the world to believe them and the lies that they are selling. These are the people that you need to avoid and keep out of your life. You are here to make a change. To be better than you were and are, and in order to do this you must remain positive, faithful and truthful. The old adage is 100 percent dead on when they say " The Truth Shall Set You Free ". Try it I am sure you are going to get used to it.
That's right I believe that each and everyone of us needs to work on this issue. That we need to train ourselves and make ourselves be truthful not only to others but to ourselves as well. It is the nature of a man to tell a lie than to risk hurting another's feelings. I know this to be true because I catch myself at this all the time and I have to remember. That I would rather someone be 100 percent honest to my face and give me 15 minutes of pain, than for me to find out the truth from someone else the truth, because my pain is going to be so much worse having to find out the truth from another source. My trust will be broken with you and once trust is broken it is so hard to build back.
What am I trying to ell you in this entry? Exactly what I said at the beginning words are just words. Words can be used for communication, they can be used to build someone or something up, they can be used to hurt, maim or injure another. But, words are just that without any action behind them. As I have told you before, the worst wounds that another can inflict are wounds caused by words. Words that are spoken in anger, haste, or to tear down or degrade another person are words that cause wounds that will never heal. Trust will be lost, hope, faith, and even self-confidence can be ultimately destroyed by the words another inflicts upon you.
Yet, I have been saying that words without action are just words and that is true. However, using words to wound are words in action, you are openly telling someone something about another, or you are taking something that was given to you in trust and throwing back at the person who entrusted you and that is both deed and action combined. Why am I telling you this? Is this something that is important? I believe it is! Unintentionally I believe that someone has maligned my character, said stuff about me to get others to think about me a certain way. Now they know that they are lying but again they are trying to please another so they say hurtful and untruthful things.
An example of this recently came into my life through a bitter conversation with another person. This person claimed that because of my illness and surgeries that my anus was sown shut and that I couldn't have sex that way, Now I know that this was said to hurt me and make me feel bad about myself, but here is the rub. I don't have to respond or acknowledge that attack because I know and understand the truth of the situation. However, for arguments sake I will clarify my situation. In the past I have had a bowel resection this is where a part of the intestine is removed the two remaining parts are then fused back together. This causes a stricture or a narrowing of the walls, Over time this narrowing becomes harder to relax and open because of scare tissue. So the truth of the matter is this I can have sex that way. But in order to relax those muscles sufficiently takes time and effort. It is not impossible at all. So you see where I am going with this? The attack on me was unfounded and was not grounded in truth, so I didn't get angry at the situation, but I knew where the faulty information came from immediately and it saddened me that they had to lie about me to make themselves feel better about themselves.
When ever someone comes at you with words, take a few minutes before responding and actually think about your response, you will find that if you do this, it will unbalance the conversation and it will allow you to reveal the truth and your actions and words will demonstrate union where the other person will not be able substantiate what they have said.
Be careful with words, especially around children. Words are powerful and can do great things or cause great harm. Always remember that if you are true to yourself and honest with yourself you will be the same with everyone else.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
-Uncle B
The phrase keeps coming to mind "Actions speak louder than words" and that is a universal truth. The Bible even states that God helps those that helps themselves. In order for us to show our sincerity we have to be able to show actionable proof that we did something, that we accomplished something and that we aren't just full of bull. I know it is so easy to fall into a pattern of telling others what we think they want to hear, but we are just fooling ourselves, the other person knows we are full of it and that we didn't do what we are claiming.
It is so important more now than ever to be true to yourself. By this I mean you have to be brutally honest with yourself. You have to practice every day speaking the truth and only the truth. If you can master that then you are on the right track. Your deeds and your words will reflect one another and you become a person of integrity. See integrity is something that is so important today, money is scarce, jobs are hard to find and we are all struggling in some way or another. If you are a person of integrity you live as you preach. You are a man or woman of your word. Nothing can persuade you from that path. It is important for others to know that they can trust and count on you and that is the other part of integrity.
So let me break this down to you. Integrity is practicing what we preach, being 100 percent honest with ourselves and others, as well as being someone that another person can count on and trust in. There are too many people out there that are living in half truths and lies and they are expecting the rest of the world to believe them and the lies that they are selling. These are the people that you need to avoid and keep out of your life. You are here to make a change. To be better than you were and are, and in order to do this you must remain positive, faithful and truthful. The old adage is 100 percent dead on when they say " The Truth Shall Set You Free ". Try it I am sure you are going to get used to it.
That's right I believe that each and everyone of us needs to work on this issue. That we need to train ourselves and make ourselves be truthful not only to others but to ourselves as well. It is the nature of a man to tell a lie than to risk hurting another's feelings. I know this to be true because I catch myself at this all the time and I have to remember. That I would rather someone be 100 percent honest to my face and give me 15 minutes of pain, than for me to find out the truth from someone else the truth, because my pain is going to be so much worse having to find out the truth from another source. My trust will be broken with you and once trust is broken it is so hard to build back.
What am I trying to ell you in this entry? Exactly what I said at the beginning words are just words. Words can be used for communication, they can be used to build someone or something up, they can be used to hurt, maim or injure another. But, words are just that without any action behind them. As I have told you before, the worst wounds that another can inflict are wounds caused by words. Words that are spoken in anger, haste, or to tear down or degrade another person are words that cause wounds that will never heal. Trust will be lost, hope, faith, and even self-confidence can be ultimately destroyed by the words another inflicts upon you.
Yet, I have been saying that words without action are just words and that is true. However, using words to wound are words in action, you are openly telling someone something about another, or you are taking something that was given to you in trust and throwing back at the person who entrusted you and that is both deed and action combined. Why am I telling you this? Is this something that is important? I believe it is! Unintentionally I believe that someone has maligned my character, said stuff about me to get others to think about me a certain way. Now they know that they are lying but again they are trying to please another so they say hurtful and untruthful things.
An example of this recently came into my life through a bitter conversation with another person. This person claimed that because of my illness and surgeries that my anus was sown shut and that I couldn't have sex that way, Now I know that this was said to hurt me and make me feel bad about myself, but here is the rub. I don't have to respond or acknowledge that attack because I know and understand the truth of the situation. However, for arguments sake I will clarify my situation. In the past I have had a bowel resection this is where a part of the intestine is removed the two remaining parts are then fused back together. This causes a stricture or a narrowing of the walls, Over time this narrowing becomes harder to relax and open because of scare tissue. So the truth of the matter is this I can have sex that way. But in order to relax those muscles sufficiently takes time and effort. It is not impossible at all. So you see where I am going with this? The attack on me was unfounded and was not grounded in truth, so I didn't get angry at the situation, but I knew where the faulty information came from immediately and it saddened me that they had to lie about me to make themselves feel better about themselves.
When ever someone comes at you with words, take a few minutes before responding and actually think about your response, you will find that if you do this, it will unbalance the conversation and it will allow you to reveal the truth and your actions and words will demonstrate union where the other person will not be able substantiate what they have said.
Be careful with words, especially around children. Words are powerful and can do great things or cause great harm. Always remember that if you are true to yourself and honest with yourself you will be the same with everyone else.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
-Uncle B
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