Time Progression

Time marches swiftly on and waits for no one.  Hours turn to days, days into months, and months into years.  Nights blend to days as the earth travels around the sun, those months turn to seasons and the seasons mark the year. Nothing can bind the hands of time.  Like a tightly wound spring our lives slowly wind down as the second hand ticks around the clock. Life has a limited amount of a lotted time. Like a grandfather clock that is wound daily and eventually winds down so does the body wind down.  Wrinkles, gray hair and other signs are developed and shows the passage of time.

Days and night blend together with the lack of sleep I achieve, and still the night rushes towards the dawn. My mind clings to the events of the day and I can't seem to relax and let go.  Up each night as hours count down, yet sleep eludes me this way. Every passing day my strengths wain and I sit in bed with demons yet to be slain.  I don't really know if I am rational and sane, I just know that I can't continue on this way.

I never thought to reach this age, growing old has always frightened me.  Now I am facing the end of youth and I see the writing on the wall. Though my days seem to speed up and my ending is coming soon. I never thought that my body would hold together for as long as it has.  I have passed through the Spring and Summer of my life and now I am entering the Fall, before I know it it will be the winter of my life and I will see you no more.

When I was younger I could put so many things into a day, now I barely have time for mundane things.  My days and night blend in motion and month pass so quickly.  Years have seemed to pass in a blink of an eye,  and what have I accomplished?  What is the mark that I leave upon this world?

It is you my fellow friends those whose lives I have touched and made a difference in. You will be the ones that will carry me forward and remember me once I am gone.  Nothing lasts forever, I hope that you will keep my spirit alive and in your heart.  I have tried to be fair to all around me and spread my love and charity.  It is my wish that you take my life as an example and gather hope and inspiration from how I have lived.

I have made many choices that have left me wounded and broken. I have learned from them and have tried to share those experiences with you. You are my legacy the ones that will remember me. Your thoughts of me will keep me alive in perpetuity.  I love you all and wouldn't change a thing that I have done, I have gained knowledge and strength through every battle I have won.  Keep me alive in your hearts and minds and I will live on forever. Hope, spirit, and vitality I bequeath to you and wish you a long and happy journey.

I have left so many opportunities unexplored and let my fear hold me back from becoming more than I am.  I am a prisoner of my own design and I leave no regrets behind. As I age and grow older I have learned many things.  One of them is that I love you all and I am glad to call you friend.  Without knowing you I wouldn't have become the person that I am and I am thankful for the memories that you have given me.  I wish I would have been better towards you and never made mistakes, but perfection isn't something that is granted man.

Every day that passes by I am looking for a chance to prove just how much this life has meant to me and I look to leave a lasting monument or testament to my life and I can't think of one.  I have only you my friends and the work that I have left behind. My fondest wish was to make life easier for each of you and to show you that no matter what Hope is a gift that can survive through anything.  I have had cancer, illness, tragedy and despair and through it all I have never lost my hope or faith.  This is what I want for you to find and learn to live by.

Please understand there were so many things that I wanted to do and leave behind and unfortunately I have run out of time.  It is late in my life that I have come to this.  I put my talents and passions to the side and I chose business as my life, and though I brought some creativity into the field with my computer programs and designs.  I could have done so much more if I would have followed my heart and chose writing as my career.  I haven't created any memorable or lasting characters to leave behind. I have only my life and the lessons I have learned that I can leave to you.  I never finished any of the books I have started and I haven't made it to the fame and fortune I once desired.  I will only be remembered as your friend and I hope that you truly remember everything that we have been through.

Now as things wind down towards the close, I wonder if the curtain will rise again and show me another glorious morn.  Sun bright and shining, birds gayly chirping and cattle nearby lowing those are the sounds that I hope to hear when the sun rises in the morning.  I could have done so much more, been so much more but I was content to live my life this way.  I made the most of each and everyday that I got to spend with you and I hope that you feel the same way.  Some of you might not remember or it might be who could be wrong, but there is a strength with each new dawn.  There is a promise in the air that things won't matter when this life is through, I often wonder if this is true.

I should have done more, helped more, and accomplished more, but I settled way too easily and turned my thoughts aside to help those I thought needed me at the time.  Nothing was ever easy that is for sure, I struggled against the system and did things my own way. I didn't care if they were right or wrong as long as I got my way. Now, when I look back and see those eager faces I wished I would have told you more that you meant so much to me. It was you that I used to keep my troubles at bay.  For as long as I remained focused on you, I could forget my shame and pain for just a little while. Several years ago I turned aside from my quest for fame, and decided that the best way to leave my name was to work through you to help you too. In that way I gained a measure of satisfaction and drove away my pain.  I found inspiration in your need and felt so useful, but much to my chagrin I am not needed ever again.  I am used up and my time is fading and I have nothing left but the waiting.  I hope you understand that you helped me as much as I tried to help you, you were my distraction, the only way I knew to focus my gaze away from my faults and limitations.  Through you I have searched and seeked redemption.

As this journey draws to an end I hope that you will remember that I was and always shall be your friend.  I did my best and hope it was enough to give you the rest that you needed along the way.  I hope that you see me in each new day.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

please read my entry called Marching Onward of Time

Finally Alone but not at Peace.

I am not sure how many of you remember my life, and history, but you can find it here in the pages and posts of my blog.  One of the people that used to care about me told me once that I shouldn't put all my business out there on social media for the world to see.  That I would learn better, now Reggie told me that back in 2015 and here we are 3 years later and I find myself still doing the same thing.  But here is what Mr. Williams didn't know or care to understand back then is that I am trying to redirect my personality, my desire to help other people instead of opening my home and providing everything for them like I used to do, I now use my life as an example to hopefully impart and pass on some of the lessons I have learned.  In this way I can actually reach and help more people than my feeble efforts I was attempting when I lived in Atlanta and Daytona.  It has taken me a long time to get to this point and I have been working on it since 2012 and it still isn't quite sunk into my thick skull yet.  Tonight I am reminded of something my ex-lover Sterling Williams once said to me "Bryan it really isn't you it is all the extra that comes with you!" I remember sitting at the dining room table and him saying that to my face, and at the time I didn't understand what he meant but now upon reflection I can see exactly where that was coming from and why he said it.  Guess what he was absolutely right.

Every relationship, every person I have ever dated not only had to deal with me, but also the people that I wanted to try and help along the way.  It was never just me and that one person it was me and my entourage.  Tonight, I am feeling particularly vulnerable and reminiscing about my past and what I have been through.  I am thinking about all the people that have come in and out of my life, those that I really cared about and those that just was there because I thought I was helping them and doing the right thing.  My mother even pointed out to me the other night on the phone that I have always gone the wrong way when trying to help people out.  I had a single thought in my head that if I could help one person out and get them off the streets or off the drugs then I was accomplishing something.  I ended up inviting these people into my home, providing them with security, comfort, food and shelter as well as providing cigarettes and other items.  Some people genuinely took my help, learned from me and made some remarkable changes in their lives.  Others, I ended up just enabling and helping them maintain their current lifestyle.  Problem was that the person I was involved with had to deal with these people and their using me and me doing for them and I forced them to accept it.  Not right or fair.

Here I am and my 50th birthday is approaching fast, in just a few short months I will be there and yes it is a blessing to make it this far, it has been a struggle and a near impossible feat to get here.  I have endured and survived so many illnesses and surgeries and yet I keep on chugging along.  But because of my choices that I made when I was younger, I hurt and alienated a lot of people along the way. I ended up leaving people that loved me and cared about me, for the users and abusers of the world and though I was trying to help others, and trying to spread my own kind of hope and peace in this world.  I regret the sacrifices and the people that I lost along the way.  Over the last few days I have been reaching out to some of these individuals, past relationships and ex's that had to endure and suffer through my indulgent and reckless behavior.  In away I am hoping that they will have gotten to a point in their life that they can accept my apology and forgive me for the struggle and heartache I put them through. 

2018 has been a year of learning for me, I have had to endure crisis after crisis and fend of users and abusers at every turn.  This summer was extremely hard when I got trapped by my own foolishness and was sorely taken advantage of.  I ended up losing everything that I had left.  The few things that I had been able to salvage over the past 4 years I finally lost and at the end of July I had to start over completely from scratch.  The last time I had to do that was in 2012 when my dad sent to Atlanta and brought me to Daytona because of my living situation and my health.  My doctors had feared that after my kidney surgery and all the bladder and kidney infections that I had been through that living on the streets of Atlanta would end up killing me. So when Bobby O'hara and I broke up and Robert Miller and I were bouncing from friend to friend and place to place with nothing of our own I called my dad and ended up moving to Florida.  Thanks to Linda Stapleton for driving me to the bus station or I would never have survived at all.  Unfortunately, the years haven't been all that kind to everyone, we lost Linda, Mike, and so many others along the way.  But as I am learning Death is part of Life itself and is just a gateway to another place.  I am keeping faith that it is too a much better place, where all the struggles of our past are forgotten and life of plenty is granted.

But tonight as I am writing this because it is a holiday weekend and I a sitting in my room writing in my blog, I am not out getting high with my so-called friends, or people that chose to be around me because I have money or drugs.  For the first time I am finally Alone, I don't have a boyfriend and I am not in a relationship, I am not walking up and down beachside or walking the streets of Atlanta high as hell on Meth. I am not surrounded by a bunch of people who need or want something from me. I am not sitting here worrying about how to pay the bills to keep a roof over everyones head or the power from being turned off, nor am I worrying about what everyone is going to eat tomorrow.  I am sitting here and for the first time in my entire life I am thinking about myself and what I want.  I am trying to figure out what I would like to do for my 50th birthday to make it memorable and special, and I am wondering who would even want to come and see me.  How many people really still care enough about me out there to want to spend time celebrating my milestone birthday.

I have invited one person definitely and he said that it would be cool.  I have mentioned it to several others, but the reception has been rather mellow.  Maybe I am deluding myself thinking that anyone out there still cares about me.  I wanted to invite all my ex's and see which ones come, and see if they are with anyone else and if they were happy.  Hoping against hopes that they could tell me the secret of how they finally got there because the mystery still eludes me.  I always thought that relationships and life were supposed to get easier the older we got, but surprise the joke was on me because not only do they get more complex and complicated they are fraught with new issues like declining health.  In the back of my mind I have always thought that I would get back together with one of my ex's that our story wasn't finished yet, but I am not sure anymore.  I wrote not long ago that one of the reasons that I keep looking backward was because of the level of acceptance and understanding that these men gave me when coming to grips with my illnesses and limitations, but maybe I am kidding myself, maybe there are others out there that would be willing to do the same if I just gave them the chance.  But I have been running for so long and hiding from the real me by using drugs for so long that it is hard now that I am sober to see any future for myself at all.  My best friend Robert Miller got married and him and I used to joke that when we were old and gray together that we would open Mommas Home for Homeless Homosexuals a senior gay retirement community and would chase each other around in our wheelchairs. Guess that isn't going to happen, guess I am always going to be on my own.

For the past 4 years I have been with someone who never wanted to sleep with me because he was afraid of catching HIV, I missed the intimacy and the closeness, but I settled because I thought that the companionship was enough, and I was happy getting high and taking care of everyone else in my life.  But, in truth I wasn't totally there for him, I had so many other needy people in and out of my life that I was trying to help that him and I really never had any time to ourselves or were alone.  For that I am truly sorry, and I have been for almost a year now trying to make up for the mistakes of the past that I made with him, and nothing really seems to help. He has grown more distant and withdrawn than he ever was.  I haven't heard from him in over a week and I am worried about him.  I know in his own way that he loves me, but we aren't right for each other, I want more than he is willing to give.  I want a real relationship with love, intimacy, closeness, tenderness and compassion, and I think that I deserve that in my life.

So here I am alone for once but am I at peace with myself? No, is the answer to that.  I want more out of life than what I have gotten. I really do want a true relationship, with someone who isn't afraid to tell others that I am their lover and that we are together, who doesn't mind holding me and telling me that they love me.  Like I said I have been so used to being surrounded by others and taking care of so many other people that I honestly don't know how to take care of myself at all.  The one person who ever treated me like how I wanted was the person I treated the worst his name was Sterling Williams and he is the person I told our story wasn't finished yet.  I don't know if we will ever get back together, but he is the only person that I was ever in a relationship who never asked me out and I didn't ask him out it just happened.  We lived together and he wasn't embarrassed by me, he introduced me to his family and friends as his lover and even told his mother about me right away.  Funny how all of that transpired so long ago and how angry that made so many people.  But that was a different life and so much has happened, who know if and when we will ever see each other again.

But no I am not at peace with myself. I don't see a future a head of me and I only see a road full of doubts.  I am trying desperately to figure out how to live by myself and take care of myself.  I want to finally be able to give myself to someone else if the time presents itself with no baggage dragging behind me and no clingers either.  I no longer open my home to the homeless and help them off the streets.  Instead I give them clothes, and blankets, gift certificates for food and I let them work out the escape plan to get off the streets.  I also offer them guidance through my blog and my daily life.  There are agencies out there that will help them, traveller's aid is one that will give you temporary emergency housing and help you come up with a plan to move from homelessness to productivity.  I recommend giving them a call and seeing what they can do.

I am learning and I know that I am old, but whoever said you can't teach and old dog new tricks is totally wrong. Because, I am living proof that insanity isn't healthy for any of us.  Albert Einstein stated that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result".  I am through being insane, and I am ready to embark on a new life with a new purpose and a new adventure. My mission of giving hope and peace to others is still intact and sound, but I want to offer more, guidance, inspiration, motivation and education as well.

I have been through so much and have learned a lot, but there is so much more for me to experience out there.  I am thankful for the strength I have received from the trials I have been through,  if I can give hope and inspiration to just one person then my life and all the pain I have been through is worth it.  I will learn how to adapt and I will learn how to take care of myself and I will survive.  I hope you will too.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

How Does Love Grow and Flow? (A Poem)

It starts out as a feeling.
Which in turn turns into a hope.
Which in turn turns into a quiet thought.
Which in turns turns into a quiet word.
That word grows louder and louder.
Until it becomes a song in my heart.
Keep in mind that Just because everything is changing.
It doesn't mean that I have felt this way before.
True love has bitten me.
That's it and nothing more.
There will never be a need to Say Good-Bye.
You were my friend before, and now you have become so much more.
Your face, your touch, your voice are deep inside of me.
Every moment that we shared has shaped me and made me whole.
Etched in Stone upon my heart these memories are meant for you and me alone.
Every song I hear brings me back to you my dear.
And stirs up those memories I keep in here!
I am who I am and nothing more.
It's your faith, trust and hope that made me yours!
Because of you I became something so much more.
You inspired me and made my spirit soar!
Through my sorrow and my pain.
You stood beside me all the same.
Even when there was nothing to gain.
You never have to worry again.
I have tasted true love!
And I'll never say Good-Bye!

Please keep in mind, you are very special

Last night a friend of mine posted on Facebook would anyone care if he just checked out of life and disappeared never to be heard from again.  This hit me pretty hard, because as you know I have been through so many things and I have at one time or another gotten to the point where I had wanted to throw in the towel.  I know exactly how he was feeling, been there, done that and wear the t-shirt to prove it.  You may not realize how your loss might affect those around you, those that know you and care about you. Sometimes people look at you and are inspired to try harder for themselves because they look at you and see a person who works hard and is successful.  Because to one person you might be even if you don't think so yourself.

I know how easy it is to look at your life and weigh it against your dreams and feel that you have fallen short.  How you can look in the mirror and see yourself as a failure, feeling despondent because you had imagined yourself being so much further ahead than you are.  I know how easy it is to look at your friends and feel a certain way because they seem to have made it to the place where you thought you would be and you envy them.  How depression can creep in and make you feel so much worse about your situation and how your frustrations builds, and you get angry and despondent, wishing that things could be different.  Then you mind starts going through the should haves and the could haves and you start to think that your life has been a sham and a waste.  Stop it! Look around you, weigh in the accomplishment you have made, the obstacles you have overcome and who you have in your life.  Because, someone out there is looking at you and is just as envious of you and what you have as you are of others.

It is never too late for you to start over again, to do something different, to achieve something.  Further, if you really think about it there is always someone out there that is worse off then you.  The trick is to stop beating yourself up over your perceived failures, stop being so hard on yourself and down playing your accomplishments.  You are still here and continue to try, and that alone is something worth being proud of.  You may never know who is looking at you, drawing strength from your life, and looking up to you as a role model.  You could be totally unaware of how much of an inspiration you are to someone else, because you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself and lack of accomplishments. There are people in your life that love you and respect you, and your loss would devastate them.

Think back to the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart and remember the revelation he found out when the angle came to him and granted him the wish that he had never been alive, so many things were different and so many peoples lives were utterly changed and not for the better just because he had never been born.  The same goes for you! You can't possibly know how many times your smile, or a simple act of kindness that you displayed had changed someone's life or made a difference in some incalculable way. There is no random or chance encounters, people come into each of our lives for a reason, and they are there until it is there time to move on.  Some come in and last a lifetime others are just there for a small duration.  You may be struggling now, but someone close to you may have been through a similar situation and you might benefit from their experience and vice-versa.  Each of us has lessons to learn and stuff to teach, but we cannot do it if we get ourselves mired down in self-pity and regret.

No matter how you feel about yourself now, or where you stand on your journey. I know that each of us at some point or another thinks we have failed or are a failure. But here is the thing to keep in mind, who could have done it any better?  Look at what you had to come through, what obstacles and illnesses and tragedies you have braved and you are still going strong.  Take pride in your accomplishments, be grateful for what you have, seek the happiness within yourself.  When you can do that you are going to find that you are a very prosperous individual, and should be content with where you are at because maybe if you were further along, you might have missed a key aspect of your life that defines you.  Also keep in mind that there is no one else in the world quite like you. No one has your experiences, has made the choices you have made for the reasons you have made them, no one can understand the consequences and rewards you have endured on your journey.  Remind yourself of those you have helped along the way to realize their dreams, given them shelter, food, clothing or whatever. Trust me when I tell you that you are one of a kind, an original, you are a master-piece, a great work of art, made beautiful by your struggles and your understanding that you have gained along the way.  This makes you totally unique, and guess what unique things can never be replaced, they are precious and invaluable, and that is you!

Life is full of special moments, and sometimes we are so busy we miss them, or we let them pass us by because we didn't recognize them.  Whatever the case is, take the time and make some moments special on your own.  Celebrate things that you normally wouldn't, give gifts or be spontaneous, whatever, just wake yourself up and look at what you have done and come through, you will be amazed! And when you find yourself at a dead end with no seeming exit, every door is closed to you, then by all means open a window, make your own path, start a new adventure, because life is precious and short, and you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy.  Forget about what everyone else is doing and don't give a damn about what they think, because guess what are they paying your bills? Are they doing all they can to give you the world on a silver platter? I don't think so! Therefore their opinion doesn't amount to shit, and as I have said before only you can make yourself happy, only you can do for you, because in the long run, everybody is just looking out for themselves.

So, when that depression strikes and wraps around your heart and tries to make you think that you are such a failure, that you haven't accomplished anything, and that you aren't anywhere where you thought you should be.  Pull back, take a break and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself. " I am special, I have come through much, I have so much and I am unique and irreplaceable."  Trust me you tell yourself enough, you will start to believe it. Because it is the truth, no one can replace you, no one can do what you have done, and no one will help as many people as you have. You are blessed and loved by your family, friends and all who know you.  God has blessed you and will keep blessing you each and every day of your life. Give thanks for the little things you accomplish, don't sweat the small stuff in life that you cannot control, and above all love yourself enough to pat yourself on the back and give yourself a compliment for a job well done.

Remember what my grandfather told me so long ago.  "A man leaves his mark on this world not by how much money he has or how many houses, or material possessions, but by how many life's he has touched, how many people he has helped, and those that remember him when he is gone. Your works will speak for themselves and those you have helped will know what you have done for them and remember you for your kindness and generosity, they will be your testimony and tribute to the world." There is always someone watching you, finding hope and inspiration from you, looking up to you and trying to be like you whether you know it or not.  So yes you are special, in so many ways.  Never ever think about giving up and throwing in the towel, because there are so many people believing in you and counting on you. You just can't see them all.

I hope you truly understand that you are loved and blessed.  You will never be forgotten and your works and deed will certainly outlive you.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

2 fold reality..thought forms, and permanence

Yesterday, I spoke about beliefs and believing, and how I wanted to talk about reality.  I also told you that I was basing my understanding on Plato's Allegory of the Cave.  I am not sure how many of you have read it, but I want to give you a synopsis of it here, so that you might be able understand where I am coming from, and where I am heading in this discussion.

Before, I do that however, I want you to realize that this is for discussion purposes, and I do solicit and request your feedback and comments. This is a spiritual journey we are on, and I would love to have others opinions and questions, as well as comments on this.  Remember that nothing you say is going to be judged against you.  I would like this to be an exercise in learning and expanding our personal vision and understanding of what reality is, and how it interacts with us.

Plato wrote the Allegory of the Cave in his work called the Republic and the central characters in this allegory are Socrates, who by the time of this writing had already died, and Plato's cousin Glaucon. Steven Kreis wrote in his lecture on Modern European Intellectual History (2000).  " In the Allegory of the Cave, Plato described symbolically the predicament in which mankind finds itself and proposes a way of salvation. The Allegory presents, in brief form, most of Plato's major philosophical assumptions: his belief that the world revealed by our senses is not the real world but only a poor copy of it, and that the real world can only be apprehended intellectually; his idea that knowledge cannot be transferred from teacher to student, but rather that education consists in directing student's minds toward what is real and important and allowing them to apprehend it for themselves;".  

The Allegory of the cave presents a group of people that are living in a cave from birth. They are chained and forced to look at a blank wall, they have no way of moving or looking elsewhere.  The mouth of the cave opens up to the light, but between our chained assembly is a walk way that separates them from a huge and roaring fire.  It is across this walkway that others carry and drag things and objects across, which cause shadows to form on the wall in front of the assembly, as these objects were being carried across and their reflections being seen by the assembly.  Over time the assembly would come to recognize and describe these shadows and name them, when asked what the shadows were they could guess as to the object being displayed along the wall.  Sounds associated with the crossing would also help and cue the assembly in their identification.  Now, imagine if you will that one of the assembly was taken by force and dragged from the cave into the light.  Plato theorized that they would not be able to see at first because their eyes were not accustomed to the light, and would be terrified, though as the pain lessened and they would began to see things, and they would not recognize them, for they had only known the shadows on the wall, but as they were introduced to the items they would come to understand and see them for what they were, but would not believe it at first because they had only known the shadows. Remember that their reality was only that of shadows, so physical forms would be dismissed as fake.  Though with time and patience, they would soon grasp that the forms were one and the same, and would not if taken back into the dark forget and be able to play the game of shadows with his fellows that have never left the cave because his eyes have been opened to a different sight.  Plato also theorized that the ones that had never left the cave would not believe the one who had left saying his site was corrupted and that his version of the truth could not be correct.  Therefore, because their reality was challenged and the one that had left was no longer part of the collective they would seek to kill him, because he was wrong.  

Please keep in mind that this is my own interpretation from reading the Allegory, and if you would like to read it for yourself, I would ask that you do so.  For the version I have presented here is condensed and paraphrased by me, but it is enough for me to draw the points out that I would like to convey.  If you would like to read excerpts of either Steven Kreis's lecture or Plato's Allegory of the cave I invite you to check out this link http://www.historyguide.org/intellect/allegory.html.  

Now what I would like to do is break this down a little for you, because I find that those chained in the cave and learning in the darkness is humanity as a whole and we learn by what is revealed by our senses.  Though I also believe that it is true that nothing in this world hold permanence because just as with the images on the cave wall, and the items that were shown the escapee, they corrupt, rust, crumble, decay and fade away.  However, in the true spiritual world the idea, or concept remains, and therefore is the truth.  This might be hard for you to understand, but I will try and make it easy.  Philosopher's refer to what I am talking about is thought forms, I call them base objects.  These base objects are the ideas that we use to create things.  Therefore, the idea is what is permanent, not the actual object themselves.  From the idea more objects can be created and made.  Therefore as long as someone can remember the idea or base object that object can still exist.  An example of this is a chair, we all know what a chair is, we know that it is eventually going to rip, tear-up, get broken or disintegrate, unfortunately time has a way of doing that to all things including the human body.  However, a new chair can be created to replace the old chair.  Why can we create a new chair because we know of the concept or idea of the chair, it is the thought form or base object that is remembered and passed on.    

What I am trying to tell you is that there seems to be a 2 fold reality at work in our universe, there is the one that we can see, touch, taste and smell, but that is just a mere reflection of the true reality that is made of thoughts, ideas, energy.  As humans we rely on our senses to show us and guide us, it is how we learn, but there is more to the learning, and we have to leave the darkness of our cave and climb into the light. Though it maybe painful, and we have to wait for our eyes to adjust to the brightness and the pain, then we have to learn it all over again.  Because what we have known as reality and truth, is not entirely accurate.  This is the philosophers journey, but is also a spiritual journey toward enlightenment, and a closer understanding of the divine.  I believe that which we live and reside in is our physical reality, but there is a spiritual plane of existence that is super imposed upon this one.  It is here where the angels and God reside, it is where our prayers, meditations and desires are manifest.  I also believe that the universe has constant laws that are opposite between both realities.  If you go back and look at my blog entries on "Creative Visualization" you will see the law of attraction and how in the physical reality or plane of existence opposites attract, such as when you hold a negative and positive end of a magnet toward each other.  In the spiritual reality or plane of existence the inverse happens, like attracts like and negative attracts negative.  

I am hoping that you can see what I am trying to say.  If you were the person that was taken from the cave and shown all the things that you once saw and thought of as real were not, and come to realize that all that you have known was wrong, could you go back into the cave and see the same things, I don't think you could.  Because once you have seen what is real the reflections of them would no longer be relevant to you.  I believe it is the same with any revelation. Once your eyes are open to the truth you can no longer go back to seeing them the way you once did.  When you take your first steps on your journey your eyes may not understand what they are seeing, and you may even doubt, but as you keep going you are going to realize that what you once thought was reality, isn't.  No matter how much you want to go back and liberate those that you left behind on your journey.  They aren't going to see the same things as you, you are going to be different, and they won't accept or believe you until they start their own journey.

A friend of mine wrote to me on Facebook that he was glad to see that I am taking everything with a positive attitude.  My response was that it is hard to see the negative side of things anymore because so many wonderful things have been happening.  It is true, I don't look at things the same way I once did, because I don't see them the same exact way.  I don't see the negative, I only see the good things that have come from my journey.  I know this all sounds so confusing and hard to understand.  But as you progress and make your own journey you are going to see that your attitude as well as your vision changes.  Things that were once so bothersome, are now small and mundane, and are mere reflections of a much larger picture.

Even if you don't agree with me, I hope that you will take some time and research what I have been talking about.  Maybe you will come away with something different from the Allegory of the Cave then I did, and I hope that you will be willing to share it with me.

I hope you will come back tomorrow, because I want to focus a little bit on what Plato was talking about when he was speaking on education and learning. Because I believe that learning and education are an important part of understanding the journey that we are on in this life.  I also believe that as we learn and grow, we mature, and tend to comprehend more, and when that comprehension builds it drives us toward further enlightenment.  The more enlightened we become the more we understand.  

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Beliefs and Believing are they the same thing?

I was thinking about how I wanted to open up this discussion that I have been kicking around about Reality, but it dawned on me that as with all things reality is based on perception and beliefs.  So I decided that I needed to backtrack just a bit and discuss beliefs and believing, because most people think that they mean the same thing.  Most would be incorrect in that assumption though, because the human mind works in such a way that we can believe something differently then the belief in which is is founded. You might think that this is a play on words, but it is truly remarkable how the human mind has the ability to compartmentalize and evaluate different concepts and assign a value to them, which later become ingrained in our own belief system and structure.

See a belief is something that we have either learned or experienced, it is first hand knowledge of something that has happened or transpired.  Whereas, believing in something is an act of faith in some cases, and in others is just a reinforcement of a belief that has been experienced.  Taking religion as a basis for this discussion, I can show you the difference between a belief and believing in something.  There is however an inherent danger in beliefs and believing, because believing in something gives it strength and power.  It is also possible to manifest or create a believe and bring it into existence.  All of this I will try to demonstrate and explain.  It is upon this type of idea and abstraction that the current religion is based.  For the majority of people there are two primary and competing religions in the world.  Now, I said for the majority, I want to clarify that there are other religions out there and belief structures, and I am not trying to say one is better than the others, or any of them are right or wrong.  My personal beliefs are actually a culmination of several beliefs and structures, but that is for another time.  What I can say is that I was born into a Christian home, I was taught from the Bible and I have maintained that core in my own personal belief structure, though I have incorporated and utilize different portions of faiths and religions to build and customize my own way of thought and living.  I uses Buddist chanting and meditation techniques and I incorporate Wiccan ceremony and rituals into my own life.  I am not asking anyone to follow me in my pursuit because it is mine and mine alone.

Yet, I have come to realize that I can believe one thing and have a belief in another, and both can exist and be correct at the same time.  You might think that this is impossible but it is not.  I can also believe in something and have no discernible proof that it exists.  This bridging of fact and belief is called an intellectual synthesis.  Sir Thomas Aquinas created a synthesis that allowed science and religion to co-exist together.  He postulated that science was only furthering to prove the existence of the Divine and in such pursuits God Himself.  Because of this new found belief Reason was no longer thought to be the enemy of faith, but rather that reason would expand and explain faith.  It also brought about the renewed change in thought of the time that  philosophy was no longer the enemy of theology, but would also expand it and broaden it's reach. Though theology is often time a part of philosophy the depth and breadth of philosophy reaches far further.  For philosophy is reason personified and rational and irrational thought studied and followed to it's conclusion.

It is important for you to understand that you can have a belief while believing in something else entirely.  Just because you believe that God speaks to you through prayer, doesn't mean that you can't believe that he talks to someone else through meditation and divination.  It is elusive to describe in detail what I am trying to say because beliefs and believing in something are very personal and deeply ingrained in us, whether by, culture or denomination or even religious devotion. You might even liken a belief to a personal conviction.  By doing so you make it exclusively your's, and that conviction can be a part of a greater belief and it be right for you but only you.  However, by believing in something you are giving it energy and life. I am asking you to trust me that believing is different than having a belief but as I sit here trying to force my mind around it, I keep looping back.

I guess what I am trying to say is having a belief is personal where believing in something means you take part in it.  What comes to mind is that I believe there are ghost and spirits in this world that interact with us.  However, because I am a believing Christian, I am taught that there aren't.  The same aspect could be true.  I am a believing Christian, but there is no empirical evidence or proof that God or Heaven exists.  Where are the graves and markers of the Saints?  We are to believe without seeing which is called faith, but isn't faith another world for belief?  I think it is.  I also think that having a belief in something and believing in something are two separate things.  I also believe that this is made possible by the fact that our brain can think, rationalize, analyse and process information on several different levels that let us be able to accept incongruous things.

Therefore, it is possible for two people to have differing belief's yet believe in the same thing. Just look at church denominations.  The all believe in God, but they have different approaches and internal dogmas that make them separate.  Because I am a member of the Church it is said that I am a believer, but depending on my denomination my belief may differ from another believer and we both might be correct.  This little tidbit of knowledge is hard to grasp, and I have explained it as well as I can to help you understand what I have been trying to say.

Because what I am leading up to is that I believe that there are different types of realities that exist simultaneously and each are perceived and interpreted by the brain differently depending on you level of enlightenment.  This is just the first in a little series I want to explore on reality. I am basing what I am writing about on "Plato's Allegory of the Cave".  

 I hope that I have intrigued you enough, or maybe even confused you enough that you will want to come back and follow the next few blog entries that are going to deal with the spiritual journey and the path towards enlightenment. What tools we have at our disposal, and how the further we go on this journey different things will start to look, and how our understand of what we perceive as reality may in-fact be just a shadow of the real world hidden behind.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Pain it's all good...just you read and see!

Pain is real, it is quantifiable and measurable.  But pain is more than a nerve impulse traveling from an extremity to the brain along a nerve.  Pain can be broken down into identifiable categories and can be described in many different ways.  When asked to define pain or ascribe a level to it, we use terms such as dull, achy, sharp, throbbing, explosive and so forth.

This allows another person to quantify the pain you are describing to them.  Many healthcare professionals ascribe a 1 to 10 scale for rating the level and intensity of your pain.  1 being the lowest and least amount of pain and 10 being the highest and most severe amount of pain.  This makes pain more observable and easier to treat. No one likes pain and drugs are often administered to help control it. Pain however is necessary as you will soon find out.  It usually accompanies or s a symptom of something else that is going on inside of your body.  Pain is a symptom or side effect, if you will of a wound or injury or problem within your body.

As I have said pain is entirely necessary and a function of the body and the brain, specifically the nervous system.  I also stated that there are categories of pain, which I define as being physical, emotional and spiritual pain.  Each category can be a stand-alone attribute or they can happen together. As described earlier they are each measurable and quantifiable and are rated using the 1 to 10 scale. Yet I contend that each are equally important and need to be addressed.  As I have said no one likes pain and when we are in it, we long for relief and comfort.

Pain treatment varies by degree and method.  Sometimes by drugs or other forms of care.  Sometimes they are treated by time and distance, yet sometimes by a combination of the drugs and time.  In almost all cases pain is treated in a type of process.  First, by removing the cause then treating the residual pain that is left through cleaning, dressing and finally drugs.

However, if you remember I stated earlier that pain is necessary, and it is!  Pain is also important as you will soon see.  I am asking you to stay with me here as I endeavor to try and explain it too you. If death is the anti-thesis to life, then pain is the anti-thesis to living.  With that being said, lets look at how this works.

Physical pain teaches us. It tells the body NO, you can't do that or that there is something wrong, or there is some kind of sustained damage.  Emotional pain matures us ad teaches us how to grow and accept.  Spiritual pain enlightens us and propels us forward. Pain is important and if you refer to my blog entry entitled "The Crucible called life is a training ground" you will find that pain is the heat and pressure applied to our lives that mold us and builds us into the individuals we become.

Physical pain is a warning that tells our mind and body to stop.  Don't do that! Quit! Move Away and in almost all cases screams don't do that again.  Emotional pain is similar in it's message, but in a much more subtle way.  Physical pain we learn from immediately, such as getting burned by a hot object.  We know the signs, heat, smell and of course the end result, and we know right away that we don't want to do it again.  However, emotional pain, the lesson may not always be quite as clear.  We might have to experience it a few times in order to grasp what it is trying to teach us.  Most of the time emotional pain comes from some sort of relationship and is just as painful as physical pain.  Spiritual pain is harder yet to explain, but we all go through it.  It can be a religious type of pain or it could just be something as mundane as reaching puberty, having a mental crisis, or a betrayal of some sort.  However, spiritual pain involves a moral or personal wound or injury.  Spiritual wounds can be perceived and felt as much as physical or emotional pain.  Spiritual pain can also be the dawning realization that there is so much more to everything then you knew.  As I have said spiritual wounds tend to be the trickiest because they are usually a combination of both the physical and emotional types of pain.  As we go further along I will try and make all three of these types of pain more understandable.

We have done all this talking about pain and my three classifications of pain, but what is the definition of pain?  According to Webster's Dictionary "Pain is the unpleasant feeling resulting from injury or disease; any distress or suffering of the mind; sorrow"  As you can see the definition covers the first two aspects of pain but leaves untouched the third (spiritual). Now when I say classifications, aspect or types of pain I am referring back to my concept of Physical, Emotional, Spiritual.

So in order to better explain things I need to talk to you a bit about what I call the "Light Body".  This might sound confusing at first but the concept can be explained and once I explain, I think you will begin to see a much clearer picture of what pain is and how it effects us and how we benefit, learn and grow from it.

I believe that the "Light Body" is made up of three complete and distinct layers or aspects. This is the result of what I have studied, been taught and have extensively thought about.  Whether you believe as I do, or come to accept it is all up to you.  But if you bear with me I am sure you will at least come to understand what I am talking about and can put together your own interpretation.  But feel free to interpret what I have to tell you anyway you like so that it all makes sense to you.  Because no matter I believe once it is explained you can extrapolate your own conclusions.

"The Light Body" is comprised of three distinct and fundamental levels that can operate independently or in conjunction with each other. As with pain I break them down as follows: physical, mental or emotional ans spiritual or soul.  These aspects or layers are overlaid over the body all at the same time and are handled by the bodies super computer the brain.  Now one could argue that because they reside and overlap the body they are therefore part of the physical body, which is partly correct.  However permit me to explain and I will try to make it easy for you to understand.

In order for me to do this correctly I am going to have to delve into a little biology and physiology.  The body has a system of nerves that network through-out it's entirety.  This would be the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system.  These are easy to explain and simplify if you will.  The central nervous system comprises the brain and the spinal cord with the extending nerves through the spine. The peripheral nervous system is the nerve network that combines the limbs and organs to the central nervous system.  Simple right?  Well I need to break it down a little bit further.  The peripheral nervous system is broken down into two sub-systems called the sonomic and autonomic nervous systems.  Here is where the first break happens between the physical and the emotional and spiritual body occurs.  The sonomic system is where voluntary control of body movements occur.  It is also where sensory input from our limbs travel to the central nervous system to the brain.  The autonomic nervous system is the regulatory system and controls the bodily functions without conscious intervention.  Examples of this are heart beat, respiration, digestion and sexual arousal.  The actions of this system happen on the subconscious level of the brain, however some can work with the sonomic nervous system such as breathing and swallowing.  Both of which can happen involuntarily or by thinking about them.

Are you beginning to see where I am coming from? Do you see the physical and emotional bodies beginning to form?  I hope so because I am about to take you further still to understand the spiritual body and how the three work together to for the "Light Body".  Now keeping in mind that we are still taking about pain and how we react, grow from, learn from and experience it.  The nervous system is read by and interpreted by the brain, the body's super computer. Without going into the psychology of the brain, I will just explain that the spiritual body is house there.  Whether in the subconscious or conscious parts of it or in another place entirely is open for another lesson.  However, I need to say that the brain is hwere the soul or consciousness resides.  It is where rational, irrational thoughts take place. It is here that I believe the Divine Spark lives. What Christians call the breathe of life, and what I refer to as the "Godhead".  It is the part of us that the Divine has gifted us with that gives us life and sentience.

As I have said before all three aspects, or categories of pain exist because the three aspects of the body exist.  It is possible to experience pain on each level individually or collectively.  The body is a miraculous machine, governed and moderated by the brain.  It has wondrous coping and defense mechanisms that help us compartmentalize and analyze as well as quantify the pain we experience. But the overall outcome of pain is the same.  It is a warning, a signal of danger, hurt or damage that needs to be handled and addressed.  How we deal with pain is personal and will vary by each individual. Everybody handles and deals with pain and injury differently.  However, we each receive warnings and symptoms that alert us to the injury or wound.

As we grow, develop, mature and age our body develops an early warning system that helps protect us and identify danger and potential for injury.  As a threat is perceived we might experience a period of heightened awareness, a tensing of the muscles and we become hyper sensitive to body languages, sounds and other signs that attack or danger is imminent.  After this brief period of awareness comes the "Fight or Flight reflex" which is a rising panic within us to either prepare for battle or flee from the attack.  This floods the body with adrenalin and endorphin's that shield the mind from the trauma of pain and injury. This is also known as Shock.

The brain is so powerful that it can override or deaden the impulses of pain to such a degree that a person can walk around on a broken ankle for an hour and never realize that it is broken.  However, it will react in the same way to any other type of pain you might experience. Shock shields the brain from being overloaded by massive pain impulses flooding from the nerves.  How to cope with pain is another topic we can explore later in another blog entry.  What I wanted you to learn from this entry is that there are several different types of pain that you can and will experience, and through each type what you the individual will learn from, grow from and develop and mature from.

They say that time heals all wounds. Essentially that is true, but pain is different and is handled differently, processed differently and ultimately may never go away.  But I am here to tell you this, you can survive pain, there are ways you can lessen your pain and sometimes you can overcome it.  Other times you will have to bear it.  But know and understand that you can live with it and endure it.  Pain is how we truly learn, how we adapt.  If forces us to grow, mature. It can even give us direction, change us, make us stronger and more cautious.

Pain teaches us patience, humility and inevitably through the process we learn frailty and mortality. It can also drive us to explore new possibilities, take bigger risks and chances and helps us face our fears.  Most of all it molds us, builds our character and in a way makes us human.  Pain means we are living and alive, growing and learning.  Though we hate it, it is important none the less!

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,


Uncle B  

Techniques and Practices that will help you successfully ground yourself

In yesterday's blog entry I spoke to you about the concept of grounding and how it can benefit you.  Now, what I would like to do is explain just a few simple techniques you can use to achieve grounding. Believe me when I tell you there are many ways and techniques out there that a person can use to achieve grounding.  My goal is to narrow down that list, by giving you a foundation upon which you can build on.  Feel free to customize and adapt either of the techniques I am about to talk to you about and make them your own. Find the easiest most comfortable way to achieve this and it will become second nature and automatic. Like I said be creative, have fun with it and make it your own..  All I ask is hat you push your fear and skepticism aside and just try it, you will be glad you did and will feel the benefits right away.There is nothing to lose, it can't hurt, and you have so much to gain, just have to do it.  As with all things that are new to us we have natural doubts, we are skeptical and may have second thoughts or misgivings about grounding.  But, if you go into it with an open mind and a receptive heart you cannot go wrong.

Getting rid of negativity in your life, freeing yourself from the rut that you have been stuck in, ending the cycle of depression and fear that has been keeping you prisoner; are just some of the things you can expect to gain.  Others, will include more energy, a feeling of inner peace and you will have a sharper focus.  Things around you will start to change, the new positive outlook, will start to draw more people and things to you and around you. Opportunities will begin to open up for you and your whole life will become enriched.  Keep in mind that positive attracts positive, inner calm brings inner peace and with our stress reduced, our body can rest easier and will benefit from more efficient healing and recuperation, which in turn lets us sleep more peacefully, allowing us to feel renewed, refreshed, relaxed and energized. Trust me when I say it is a win-win situation, you have absolutely nothing to lose, except maybe depression, anxiety, stress and the familiarity of despair.

Now, I have your interest right?  I think I might! So how do you get to this point? It really isn't as difficult as you might think, keep in mind that there are many ways to do this and it is your job to seek out which one is easiest and right for you, then make it your own.  There are an unlimited possibilities, techniques, methods, techniques, and philosophies on this out there, feel free to mix and match, add, subtract, personalize it anyway you see fit.  A few examples are Gardening, Baking, Reading, spending time with nature. As I said there are unlimited possibilities you just got to figure out which one fits you and then you just incorporate some basic techniques and then you are all set.  Doing something outside of your comfort zone will give you the most outstanding results.  Now we are going to delve into the basics and give you a thorough understanding of them so that you can incorporate them in your daily life.

The basic of grounding are pretty simple and easy to follow:

• Set aside a dedicated time of day. It works better if you use the same time as much as possible.  Though there will be times when you can't do it at the same time or you may find you need to have more than one time set aside per day.  Personally I have my time set for the morning so the tone of my day is set.  Then when I need to I throw in an evening time when appropriate. (15 to 30 minutes is all the time you need)
• Make sure that you have selected a private place and you will not be interrupted.  Turn off your phone and isolate yourself all outside influences and distractions. 
• Clear your mind and relax.
• Feel the energy flow from above you and through you.
• Let it pass through you into the ground.

With all this being said lets get to it.  These are my simple techniques that I use.  Sometimes I add music and other things when I am trying to relax and ground, as I told you earlier the possibilities are unlimited and there is no wrong way or right way, it is just your preferences and what you feel comfortable with.  My favorite and probably first choice is a natural approach and incorporates nature in all the beauty and wonder that exists there.  If you live in a city it maybe a little hard for you to find the perfect spot.  But, the neat bonus is that you can try all sorts of different spots, and change them as frequently as you want.

In our overview on grounding, I explained that grounding is a natural phenomenon therefore somehow it seems fitting that the first technique takes place and incorporates nature in its usage. I have set aside a time for each day to explore nature.Personally I choose to do my grounding in the morning. My reasoning is this I am not a morning person, it takes me a bit to wake up and get my day going. Therefore, when I ground and commune with nature I set the tone for my entire day.  When I step out of the house I am positively energized, I am eager to face the day with renewed joy and vigor.  

But how do I achieve all of this? Simple I select my personal block of time, as stated earlier about 15 to 30 minutes each morning., where I isolate myself from the outside world.  This means that I turn off the cell phone, television and ensure that I avoid any distractions and interruptions.  I step out into nature and observe it in all of its beauty and majesty.  I actually don't have to physically go anywhere I personally like to sit in my backyard, or go to the beach or even the public park.   Next, I feel the sun warming and this helps me quiet and still my mind.  I also like to touch the plants, smell the flowers, talk to the animals that are in the vicinity. As I am doing this I let my mind grow quiet pushing out all thoughts and distractions and I feel the energy of the sun flowing all over me and through me.  As the energy courses through my body from the heavens toward the ground, I actually feel the negativity and stress of the world and the previous day drain slowly out of my body. The positive energy flows from the sky through the top of my head and then through my body and leaving it through my feet and my hands that touch the plants and other things.  All the while I rejoice and give thanks for another day as my body fills with the energy of the sun.

The second method is just a little variation on the first instead of walking around and touching things to ground, I find a tree to rest on, I place my back and head against the trunk as I lean back.  I can feel the energy of the sun flowing down from the sky into the trees leaves and flows through the trunk heading to the roots for grounding but because I am leaning against the tree, I am actually part of the trees circuit the energy that flows down frAom the sun, enters my body through the trunk into my head and flows through my body, and exit through my back and drawn down into the ground by the trees roots. As the energy is drawn through me and suffuses me in every way and as long as my mind is free from all outside thoughts, influence and then isolating me from the clutter and activity of the world for just 15 to 30 minutes each morning I feel refreshed and energized to face the day.  Now, if for some reason I cannot get out into nature, I do the next best thing, I sequester myself away in my room.  Again turning off  all distractions and shutting my door so I am not disturbed.  I then go through the steps again, visualizing the energy from the sun flowing down through my roof through the top of my head and travelling through my body seeking to reach ground.  Remember there are so many ways to customize this that whatever you choose to do will work as long as you keep to the basics. As you can see the only difference between the above techniques is the venue where the grounding actually takes place.

In just a few moments after starting the grounding process I feel the tensions, stress, emotions and all the negativity from the day before to melt and begin to be washed away. It is just that simple, and I can start my day and know that I am going to have a positive one.  The one thing that I do is to give thanks for being granted another day, say thank you to the tree or nature that has been so kind as to assist me in my grounding efforts and then I take a few minutes to think of some key words to help me through the coming day and help me maintain my positive focus.  These are words that I hope to demonstrate, exhibit, impart to those with whom I may come in contact with or might interact with throughout my day.  These are words like: Love, Compassion, Understanding,, Caring, Wisdom, Kindness, humility, gratitude etc.  I keep these words in the front of my mind throughout the day and to help me maintain focus.

Well you made it this far by reading this post, please don't give up just yet bear with me just a little bit longer as I summarize what I have been trying to get across to you and the key points I hope you will remember.  By now I have defined what grounding is; given you the benefits of; then through in my concept of key words to help us manage and cope with the day.  All you need to walk away with is this: Ground yourself daily, be open and receptive, make it your own, experiment with it, have fun with it, and customize it anyway you want so that you are totally comfortable with the process. But above everything else I want you to try it!

The techniques I talked about were Nature Grounding (or using nature and natural surroundings and settings).  The other is when you couldn't get out in nature then you use what I call Visual Grounding (grounding utilizing visualization) and is done in your private place where you won't be interrupted.  Remember the basics, use key words and you will be amazed at how your day turns around and how things begin to open up for you. You will also notice the immediate benefits of renewed spirit, health all the while of experiencing a positive focus and will be amazed at how relaxed and refreshed you feel.

Please join me for the next entry as I will be going through mediation and how it can and will benefit you.  As always your feedback and comments are appreciated and solicited.  Feel free to ask any questions and remember that I am here for you.  Write to me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bryan.zepp2 or bryanzepp@gmail.com.  If you have enjoyed what you have read please follow my blog, join up and become a follower.  I am trying to build up my audience and I want you to be a part of my community.

All my hopes and dreams are with you.

Uncle B

Today is Mother's Day do something special for all the special women in your life that have sacrificed and provided for you.  Make sure you tell them thank you and acknowledge what they have done for you.

All my love,

B

What is Grounding and how can it help you?

This is the second entry on embarking on the path toward spiritual enlightenment and personal growth, with the aim to helping you fulfill your goals, dreams and desires.  The first entry was about Creative Visualization and if you haven't had a chance to read it, not to worry, you can and will still benefit from reading this one.  This entry is on Grounding and how it can benefit you in your daily life.

Even if you do not embrace spiritualism or visualization, grounding will still benefit and enrich every aspect of your daily life.  Let's begin!  First, you might ask yourself, "what does he mean when he says grounding? Does that have something to do with the ground?" Simply, yes it does! Grounding is the act of putting something in or applying it to the ground.  Now, according to Websters Pocket Dictionary ground is defined as: "the surface of the earth; soil, sand, and other natural materials at or near the earth's surface; the connecting of electric current to the earth through a conductor."  In some ways we are going to deal with both parts of the mentioned definition.  In Spiritual and metaphysical terms when we speak of grounding,we are speaking of grounding out the negative energy, stress, pain or other harmful emotions from our bodies and mind and sending it into the ground or earth.

In a limited way our body does this automatically when we rest.  However, have you ever had a really bad day where everything went wrong and nothing you tried to do was accomplished ever went right, you were so stressed out that you wanted to cry or scream; your head felt like it was going to explode and the least little thing caused you to snap and lash out at everyone around you? Of course you have! We all have been there and done that or been on the receiving side of the equation.    On days like this you probably ended up with a headache, heartburn, acid indigestion, felt anger and when you tried to relax and rest, your mind probably was racing and so full of thoughts that it was impossible.  Then being wiped out and totally exhausted you try to climb into bed and get some sleep, but you end up tossing and turning, you mind is going a million miles a minute and sleep is long in coming and when you finally do succumb to sleep it is light and fitful and when you wake you are still exhausted and feel spent, and it is a new day, uggh, so what are you to do...you really can't go back to bed things have to get done and you are the only one who can do them.

This is where learning and utilizing grounding comes in. By using grounding you can flush all of the stress, harmful emotions, restlessness, anger and can calm your mind and achieve that so sought after rest and respite from the world around you.  You will be able to finally get to sleep at night getting the rest your body needs and will wake up feeling renewed and refreshed. It isn't as hard as you might think and like I said earlier it is something that our body does in a limited fashion all on its own.  So when you learn how to ground properly it will become second nature and almost automatic.

Grounding is a natural phenomenon and follows the laws of nature and physical science.  Current (energy) in nature flows from positive to negative following the path of least resistance to reach ground.  This is an immutable fact and can be demonstrated in the following example using a electricity, a cord, a lamp with switch and a light bulb.  Electricity is the energy or current that we are going to apply to the cord to the lamp, when the switch is thrown, a circuit is completed and the current flows through the wire up the lamp through the bulb across the filament where light is created by the heat of the current flowing through the resistance of the filament as it rushes back down the lamp through the cord seeking ground.

In terms of spiritual grounding or the ground of ourselves, the mind is the switch, the body is the conductor and ground is the ground.  But what of the energy where does it come from, it is an external force or pressure, it can be stress, and it definitely comes from everything around us, the world at large.  It impacts us and hits us all day everyday and if we don't ground completely and thoroughly it will cause problems. You can think of the outside energy force as stress, grief, turmoil, pain or any other strong emotion that you and your body are subjected to throughout your day.  Just a little bit ago I explained to you the law which energy follows that it flows from negative to positive following the path of least resistance always seeking ground.  The earth being a big solid mass it can absorb and dissipate immense quantities of energy and is our natural ground.  You must bear in mind that energy is subject to all physical laws include that of relativity which simply states that energy can be created, manipulated, changed but it cannot be destroyed.  Energy therefore always seeks to ground and yearns to be dissipated otherwise it goes on and on for ever and always.

Therefore, unless we ground it out of our body, we begin to fill up with negative energy and negativity because energy flow from negative to positive always seeking ground if it cannot reach ground because we are not open then it has to build up, just like with our switch it doesn't light until the switch is thrown and the circuit is completed and the energy is able to pass through the bulb and return to ground. This negative energy builds up within our body and is harmful and throws us into imbalance, which can lead to illness, depression and other ailments that could possibly be avoided.  It does even further than this, it also reacts with our own inner energy field and an electrical current that travels through our central nervous system.  As the energy of the outside interacts with our internal energy field something unique occurs, the energy begins to transcend the laws of nature and physic and starts acting in contrary ways.  The reason why this happens is our inner energy field is spiritual energy or life-force, it interacts with our brain and other planes of existence it is also a perfect and closed circuit constantly flowing through our bodies and allowing us to function, with the interaction with the outside energy a conversion takes place between both energies, resulting in spiritual energy.  Now in our physical reality opposites attract, negative attracts positive, and that is how the current or energy is transferred, when the energy converts from physical to spiritual energy within our bodies that law no longer applies because in the spiritual realm likes attract and opposites repel, the total flip of our natural law.  Now, can you see what is happening our bodies are becoming loaded down with negative energy and as the conversion is taking place, we are drawing more negative into our lives.  This is the reason why grounding for us becomes so important.  We want to shunt that negative energy or negativity into the ground or the earth and get it out of our body and our mind.

When we are filled with the negative, more negative comes, our inner energy field begins to get corrupted and our body is unable to defend itself properly, we become overwhelmed and burdened and then physical problems begin to manifest themselves through illness, depression, bad moods, and the cycle becomes cyclical because our bodies are a complete circuit and we keep recycling that negative energy through our entire body.  This in turn begins to draw even more negativity into our lives which then begins to change our environment, leaking into our interactions and dealings with others.  Every thing around us begins to suffer just as our body suffers, you will begin to see everything withering, fleeing or dying just because it is near us. Now I am talking about everything, friends, health, relationships, our luck, wealth, everything. Negativity is something that can and will destroy us from the inside out.  Like I explained it becomes cyclical, meaning it goes around and around never changing unless we ground it out.  As the negative continues to build  we open ourselves up to depression and a myriad of other illnesses both physical and mental that can and will keep us stationary and prevent us from moving forward or backward for that matter, we get stuck in a rut and cannot break free. It becomes so easy for us to fall into despair and surrender to our lot in life and become accepting of all the rotten things that befall us.  We get used to it and we wallow in it.

But I am here to tell you that there is a way through this, there is a way to regain the balance in your life, to lift the veil of despair and depression and fight back and that is use and live with grounding. Grounding is a way for us to rid ourselves of this negative and replace it with positive.  It allows us to become healthier and gives our mind and body the opportunity to rest and heal and recuperate more efficiently.  In the next entry I will start explaining the techniques for ground in a way that will be easy for you to follow.  Thus allowing you to be healthier, happier, it will open you up to being receptive of love, wealth, and the blessings you truly deserve.

So, What is Grounding and what can it do for you? It is the shunting of the negative energy that your body is continually accumulating and making it go to ground.  What it will do for you? It will make you feel better, give you more energy and strength, allow you to pull more positive energy into your life to replace the negative and when you are constantly operating in the positive, you will be open to a whole new world.  Opportunities will come, stress will be reduced, you will be able to sleep more soundly and your body will get the rest it needs and will be able to heal and repair itself more efficiently; your mind will be quieter, clearer, and able to focus better.

So please join me for the next entry as we go through the techniques to accomplish this.  As always, I welcome your feedback and your comments, I am here for you and will answer any questions you might have.  Write to me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bryan.zepp2 or bryanzepp@gmail.com.  If you enjoy what you have read please follow my blog , become a follower please. I am trying to build up my audience and I want you to be a part of my community.

All my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

What are your thoughts on Gay Marriage?

So tell me what your thoughts are on Gay Marriage? Because this morning when I opened up the paper it appeared to me that the President had weighed in finally on this subject.  This is a debate and an issue that has been bouncing around for years.  Every party skating the issue or just giving lip service when appropriate and today's announcement seems to be doing exactly the same.  The statement was issued by the President the day before he was supposed to meet with the wealthy, outspoken activists of Hollywood.  A political fundraiser that became an open lottery for two lucky individuals to attend and spend an evening with the President at George Clooney's house.  Anyone who wanted to attend could go online and donate 3 dollars to the presidental re-election campaign and would automatically be entered in the drawing.  Now, this was a clever marketing ploy and for two very lucky individuals they will get to go.  The money from everyone else will be put in the re-election fund of the president.

My friend and fellow writer posted in his blog this evening "I Thank Barack Obama for Nothing". His views are that this was a politically motivated response to North Carolina re-affirming the stance that marriage is only between a man and a woman.  I honestly believe it is a much simpler reason why Barack Obama came out in support of gay marriage.  You see the dinner that I spoke about is estimated at raising $15 million dollars for his re-election, and knowing that he was going to be having dinner with the U.S. 's most outspoken and influential activists he took his stance this would ensure that his campaign and the democratic party would get the money.

Now, the reason why I am bringing all this up is because I really am not interested in the politics of this issue, I am more interested in the human aspects of the issue and how it directly affects me and the ones I love.  I am gay no big stretch there, but what you might not know is that I am fighting for my life.  Just this past October I found out that not only do I have Leukemia and Cancer, I also have end stage renal disease, radiation enteritis and hepatitis c on top of also being HIV +.  By and large having 6 terminal illnesses makes me wonder what would happen if I was in a relationship and not protected with the right to marry.  You see been there and done that and I was only sick with 2 illnesses at the time.  Now with my imminent demise hanging over my head I would love to see the right of each individual to enter into the institution of marriage.  The reason why I say this is because without the protection afforded by marriage, my partner, if I had one, would be denied the ability to be with me through the hospitalizations and other courses of treatment I have to go through because he is not considered immediate family.  Therefore, I would have to face this alone and if I were to die, my partner would be denied the most basic rights regarding decisions to burial, life support, and life insurance, mortgage and other things that married couples have and are protected with.  Health insurance, survivor benefits and other things would be available to me and my partner if there were gay marriages.  I am not sure why the government thinks that only a man and a woman should be provided with these benefits and protections.

It is my opinion that everyone should have the right to choose for themselves.  Further, I am a firm believer that since the constitution states that there needs to be a separation between the church and the state.  However, why is the right wing, ultra-conservatives and the fundamentalist church trying to interpose themselves in the daily business of the people when marriage is a license a form of contract between two adults.  Understand that a license is just another word for permit, which means that the government permits and recognizes that two individuals are now one entity.  Each state recognizes many different forms of unions, Corporations, Partnerships, Marriages, etc.  so why should a union between a gay couple not be recognized:?   Is not a marriage another name for a union? The joining of two consenting individuals in a formal partnership or agreement to raise a family own property, and hold assets together. Corporations once they file their corporate paperwork with the Secretary of the State become a single entity that is capable of owning assets, property, cars, and can build and develop whatever they want under a common name.  A marriage is the same thing, it takes two individuals and combines them and makes them a single entity in the eyes of the government and every other business in America.  A marriage, in the current sense, allows a man and a woman to buy property, have insurance together, raise a family, purchase cars, have children and many other benefits many of which are not available to same sex couples.

I hope that those of you who read this posting will look at my statements and understand that I am not trying to make a political statement I am trying to make an emotional appeal to the common decency of human kindness and rational thought.  I may not be able to see resolution to this issue, but I am wanting to ensure that those who I leave behind in this life will have the right to choice and decide their own fate.  Not having to listen to the whims and dictates of society and the government who allows religion to steer and dictate their course of action.  Remember always that this country was founded on the premise that each individual would have the freedom of choice, in religion, in belief and in life.  Our constitution was written to ensure that there was definite separation between the branches of the government and the separation between the church and the state.  Thus, our country would not ever have to chance to fall under a dictator or religious zealot.  It is my firm belief that our forefathers, and the founders of this Nation understood these things and took as many precautions as they could when they drafted the Constitution.  With the adding of the bill of rights our personal liberties and freedoms were clearly defined.  Abraham Lincoln affirmed this in his Gettysburg Address stating that "All men in this nation were created equal".  This has been the tenets of democracy and the foundation of our continuing military campaign of "Enduring Freedom".  Our troops are out there fighting for the freedom of other nations, but they are the embodiment of what we all hold dear here in America, Freedom and the right to choice.

So now that you have read this what do you really think about Gay Marriage?

As always I am looking forward to hearing your feedback and your opinions.  I want to hear from you and would love for you to support my blog.  Become a follower and let me know your stance on these issues and many more that are out there.  If you have a topic you would like to discuss let me know.  You can check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/bryan.zepp2 or you can email me bryanzepp@gmail.com

All My hopes,
B

Check out Greg Kelley on his blog soswirl.blogspot.com or you can see his work on the examiner exm.nr/gregorykelley

Does Music Speak to You?

At times in your life does an artist or album reach out and grab you?  Does the music speak to you in away that most of the songs on the album seem directed toward you or the situation that you are going through?  Maybe I am just peculiar, but it seems that at every period of my life where there has been great change that there has been an artist and a particular album that they have released that has reached out and spoken directly to me.  Every song on the album touches me and describes what I am feeling and going through at the time.

I have been asked over and over again how do I maintain such a positive attitude when I am going through so much, and I honestly think that the music that touches me helps me through these crisis times.  These songs describe the whole situation that I am going through and the people around me.  Then it is up to me, to take and process the songs and through inner reflection evaluate my situation and decide what I need to do to make a change.  I am thankful for these artists that influence my life and give me their words of advice that speaks to me through their songs.

Having been a music writer in a previous incarnation of my life, I understand that most of these artists are writing from personal experiences and that is why the music is infused with so much energy and intensity.  But what amazes me is that these artists have gone through or are going through something in their life that is so similar to what I am going through at the time that their music reaches out to me and grabs me.

I would like to give you some examples:  I used to live in Atlanta, and I was with a person there for a long long time. We had 2 houses together, several companies, two dogs, two cars, a cat and a lot of mutual friends.  Now, not trying to sound like I am pointing the finger at anyone but when the relationship ended it got into a very dirty state, both of us were trying to outdo the other and I believe we were trying to see how badly we could hurt one another. Now, that is not a healthy place to be, and a lot of damage was done and probably can never be healed properly.  This is a very sad event to have happened because the other person was very caring and loving and didn't deserve any of this. However, like I said I am not placing blame here we were both at fault. However, while I was going through this situation, I was constantly seeking refuge in Hilary Duff's Dignity Album.  Every single song on that album described the way I was feeling starting with the very first song on the album entitled "Stranger".  The song actually talks about how she was living with a stranger and that when they were alone that she couldn't recognize him anymore and that there was no love left in his eyes.  From that album I was able to process and address through the lyrics and singing of these songs the anger, hurt, disappointment and all the other emotions that go with ending of love and a relationship.

Another example would be Katy Perry's Teenage Dream album.  I am actually listening to it now as I write this entry. This album has so many songs that are speaking to me and helping me deal with my current situation.  What a lot of you do not know is that I have been diagnosed with a whole host of medical problems and that is on top of having my life fall out from under me when I was in Atlanta last year.  I got sick again in October of 2011, had kidney stones, found out that I had end stage reneal failure and then on top of that I was evicted from my apartment and I lost everything I owned, I had two dogs that were taken from me and put to sleep, and my car was stolen, I ended up on the street and heavy into drugs till February.  Now I have come home, I am rebuilding my life and getting my feet back under me. This album has given me the strength to move forward, to accept the fact that once again I am starting over.  Songs like Katy Perry's
"Who am I living for?" give me the strength to know that I am marching down the right path that I was meant too.  I know that if I wouldn't have taken the steps and made the decisions that I have had made during the winter in Atlanta I would be dead right now.  But I am here and I am okay and I am writing to you.  Hoping to share just a few of the little things that I have picked up as I have made this long journey.

There are so many songs that touch me, there are some that help me through little dilemmas, like "Circle the Drain" which talks about drug abuse and use.  How people make excuses and how people who care about us get hurt trying to save us from them. I am again thankful that these songs are out there and help me to deal with my issues.  I have passed on the lyrics of "Circle the Drain" to my ex because he is still struggling with his addiction, these words are how I feel.  I don't want to watch him circle the drain.  "I want to be his lover, but I don't have the power to rewrite his addiction" only he can change and defeat the monkey that is on his back.

But how do these songs help me you might wonder?  I will tell you that something inside of me identifies with a particular song, and the artist and before I know it I am researching the lyrics to the song and memorizing them.  Once I read the words and I sit back I begin to see the correlation between what the artist is sending out and what has been going on in my life. What I can tell you is that I amazed as the lyrics and the beat perfectly resonate within me.  I begin looking back at myself, my decisions and then it all seems to click inside of me.  I am not sure if everyone is like me.  But music, prayer, meditation, and writing are my key to keeping and maintaining a positive outlook and motivation in my life.  With having 6 terminal illnesses and doctors constantly telling me that the future doesn't seem to bright and that there might not be a lot of time left for me to wrap up my business, it would be rather easy for me to fall into a state of depression and fill my days with crying and self-pity.  But you see that would not get me anywhere and I would waste what time I have left and I am not ready for that.  Maybe there will come a time for me to wallow in self-pity and despair but I don't believe it will be anytime soon.

What I would like to leave you with is the song that I am listening to now.  It is Katy Perry's Firework...this is what I hope and pray each and everyone of you realize.  This is a song of hope and rebirth, it talks about inner strength, it talks about having faith and knowing that you can start over, you are not a failure and that you have inner worth and outer worth as well.  I hope this song touches you as much as it touched me.

Firework by Katy Perry

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
But no one seems to hear a thing?

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling down down down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed 
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
And it's always been inside of you, you, you 
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby your a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go " oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the Sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em in awe awe awe "

Please listen to the song and read over the lyrics and let me know what you think.  I value your opinion and want to hear your feedback. Tell me your story and if this song fits you. If you don't have the song or cannot find it get at me and I will send it to you or post it where you can listen to it.

All my hopes,

Uncle B