Does Music Speak to You?

At times in your life does an artist or album reach out and grab you?  Does the music speak to you in away that most of the songs on the album seem directed toward you or the situation that you are going through?  Maybe I am just peculiar, but it seems that at every period of my life where there has been great change that there has been an artist and a particular album that they have released that has reached out and spoken directly to me.  Every song on the album touches me and describes what I am feeling and going through at the time.

I have been asked over and over again how do I maintain such a positive attitude when I am going through so much, and I honestly think that the music that touches me helps me through these crisis times.  These songs describe the whole situation that I am going through and the people around me.  Then it is up to me, to take and process the songs and through inner reflection evaluate my situation and decide what I need to do to make a change.  I am thankful for these artists that influence my life and give me their words of advice that speaks to me through their songs.

Having been a music writer in a previous incarnation of my life, I understand that most of these artists are writing from personal experiences and that is why the music is infused with so much energy and intensity.  But what amazes me is that these artists have gone through or are going through something in their life that is so similar to what I am going through at the time that their music reaches out to me and grabs me.

I would like to give you some examples:  I used to live in Atlanta, and I was with a person there for a long long time. We had 2 houses together, several companies, two dogs, two cars, a cat and a lot of mutual friends.  Now, not trying to sound like I am pointing the finger at anyone but when the relationship ended it got into a very dirty state, both of us were trying to outdo the other and I believe we were trying to see how badly we could hurt one another. Now, that is not a healthy place to be, and a lot of damage was done and probably can never be healed properly.  This is a very sad event to have happened because the other person was very caring and loving and didn't deserve any of this. However, like I said I am not placing blame here we were both at fault. However, while I was going through this situation, I was constantly seeking refuge in Hilary Duff's Dignity Album.  Every single song on that album described the way I was feeling starting with the very first song on the album entitled "Stranger".  The song actually talks about how she was living with a stranger and that when they were alone that she couldn't recognize him anymore and that there was no love left in his eyes.  From that album I was able to process and address through the lyrics and singing of these songs the anger, hurt, disappointment and all the other emotions that go with ending of love and a relationship.

Another example would be Katy Perry's Teenage Dream album.  I am actually listening to it now as I write this entry. This album has so many songs that are speaking to me and helping me deal with my current situation.  What a lot of you do not know is that I have been diagnosed with a whole host of medical problems and that is on top of having my life fall out from under me when I was in Atlanta last year.  I got sick again in October of 2011, had kidney stones, found out that I had end stage reneal failure and then on top of that I was evicted from my apartment and I lost everything I owned, I had two dogs that were taken from me and put to sleep, and my car was stolen, I ended up on the street and heavy into drugs till February.  Now I have come home, I am rebuilding my life and getting my feet back under me. This album has given me the strength to move forward, to accept the fact that once again I am starting over.  Songs like Katy Perry's
"Who am I living for?" give me the strength to know that I am marching down the right path that I was meant too.  I know that if I wouldn't have taken the steps and made the decisions that I have had made during the winter in Atlanta I would be dead right now.  But I am here and I am okay and I am writing to you.  Hoping to share just a few of the little things that I have picked up as I have made this long journey.

There are so many songs that touch me, there are some that help me through little dilemmas, like "Circle the Drain" which talks about drug abuse and use.  How people make excuses and how people who care about us get hurt trying to save us from them. I am again thankful that these songs are out there and help me to deal with my issues.  I have passed on the lyrics of "Circle the Drain" to my ex because he is still struggling with his addiction, these words are how I feel.  I don't want to watch him circle the drain.  "I want to be his lover, but I don't have the power to rewrite his addiction" only he can change and defeat the monkey that is on his back.

But how do these songs help me you might wonder?  I will tell you that something inside of me identifies with a particular song, and the artist and before I know it I am researching the lyrics to the song and memorizing them.  Once I read the words and I sit back I begin to see the correlation between what the artist is sending out and what has been going on in my life. What I can tell you is that I amazed as the lyrics and the beat perfectly resonate within me.  I begin looking back at myself, my decisions and then it all seems to click inside of me.  I am not sure if everyone is like me.  But music, prayer, meditation, and writing are my key to keeping and maintaining a positive outlook and motivation in my life.  With having 6 terminal illnesses and doctors constantly telling me that the future doesn't seem to bright and that there might not be a lot of time left for me to wrap up my business, it would be rather easy for me to fall into a state of depression and fill my days with crying and self-pity.  But you see that would not get me anywhere and I would waste what time I have left and I am not ready for that.  Maybe there will come a time for me to wallow in self-pity and despair but I don't believe it will be anytime soon.

What I would like to leave you with is the song that I am listening to now.  It is Katy Perry's Firework...this is what I hope and pray each and everyone of you realize.  This is a song of hope and rebirth, it talks about inner strength, it talks about having faith and knowing that you can start over, you are not a failure and that you have inner worth and outer worth as well.  I hope this song touches you as much as it touched me.

Firework by Katy Perry

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
But no one seems to hear a thing?

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling down down down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed 
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
And it's always been inside of you, you, you 
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby your a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go " oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the Sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em in awe awe awe "

Please listen to the song and read over the lyrics and let me know what you think.  I value your opinion and want to hear your feedback. Tell me your story and if this song fits you. If you don't have the song or cannot find it get at me and I will send it to you or post it where you can listen to it.

All my hopes,

Uncle B

Have you ever felt like starting over, but were too tired?

Have you ever felt like starting over, but were to tired to try again, to defeated by the things you cling to in your past?  I have and I still do every once in awhile.  The only way to get past your past and start over again is by forgiving those who hurt you and who you have hurt.  Forgiveness is the key.  Forgiveness is for you and not the other person, this is how we forget the past, start a clean slate, and let go of the past.

Unfortunately, our own defeatist attitude and mind hold us back.  We sometimes feel like we are not good enough, that we have made too many mistakes and that we cannot get past this.  What I can tell you is this you are not a failure, you may have failed in some of the goals you had planned to achieve but life is full of infinite possibilities and out comes.  None of us are perfect in anyway.  We learn from the mistakes we have made in the past, we have asked for forgiveness and we have forgiven ourselves. So why is it that we allow ourselves to be plagued with thoughts of failure and not being good enough to start over?  Is it guilt, no it shouldn't be if we have truly forgiven ourselves.  Is it because when we look back at our own life we see that we haven't measured up to our own ideal of success, perfection, hopes, and dreams?  That would be my guess because I know when I look back I am not happy with my progress.  But something I picked up along the way is the tenacity to push through my dilemmas and problems and plod ahead.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.

Each one of us is unique and an individual, we cannot be replaced by anyone else.  Every person we meet we touch in some way or another.  They either enrich us or impact us in some way. We truly are the sum of all our experiences, our failures, our triumphs, our tears, our disappointments and our victories.  We are the result of the actions and the consequences of them, we are ever changing and growing as we live and learn, as we struggle to a new future and leave the past behind.  It has been recommended that if you want to change and become more than what you are that you need to have a clean break and that you must start over again.  I don't honestly believe that is entirely accurate. Sometimes, there needs to be a clean break when you are trying to get away from a bad habit or an addiction.  However, evolving takes time and living to instill in us the motivation of change.  Be steady in your convictions.  Understand your limitations and understand that inner reflection may need to take place. It is necessary to adjust our goals and desires, they need to be reasonable and attainable.

It is unfortunate, but this is a journey that only you can make, this is a place where you have to make decisions and you have to be ready and willing to change.  The key is forgiveness of yourselves, acceptance of your past, and willing to reap the consequences of said actions.  Only from this place can we release the past and move forward. I want you to always remember that you are not a failure, you do have worth, and you can start again, you have an inner strength that has brought you this far and through so many things.  Remember that when all the doors before you seem to be closed and despair is hovering above your head, that the future cannot be seen, no one can see beyond your choices, our future is based upon the decisions we make and the paths we choose to walk. Remember that after every rainstorm there comes the sun.  After every waning moon comes a new full moon.  That each day is a brand new day, there are no mistakes, it is a clean slate and is perfect in every way, and just because that door was closed when you got to it doesn't mean that you have failed...it just means that the door was closed just so you could open one and step out onto the perfect road that was meant for you.

Trust me when I say you can do this you can do anything you set our mind too and you can succeed all you have to do is try.  Keep your head up and your thoughts positive. Take the step to start over again and you will see that starting over isn't so hard after all.

As always I look forward to hearing from you and your thoughts about my subject.  Let me know what you think and what you would like to talk about.

All my hopes,
Uncle B