Sounds like a chain store doesn't it? Well last night I was writing about settling for less than what we want. I told you to go for it, damn the consequences and make yourself happy, not to second guess yourself or beat yourself up for buying whatever it is that you wanted or needed. But as I sat here today thinking about things, it dawned on me that life is nothing more than a multitude of choices that we have to make. These choices, bring about decisions, and the path that we embark on here in life.
Choices make our day go by and help us feel that we have accomplished something. The problem with choices is that there are always consequences for them. You might remember me saying that "Anything worth doing isn't easy!" Which, believe it or not is the truth. Believe me every morning you wake up and you have a million choices that you have to make. There is never a situation that comes up where there isn't a choice that can be made. You must look at all the options that you have, because sometimes the first choice is not necessarily the best choice for you or your life. You must look at every situation and evaluate it carefully, think outside of the box and view every possible option and look at it from each and every perspective you can think of. You know how precious life is and how short it is. You must think, look outside of the box and keep your options open.
What you need to understand is that sometimes we cannot see the consequences that the action takes quite a while to reach fruition, but believe me when I tell you that for every action there is a reaction, so too there must be a consequence for every choice. Now, with that basic understanding you much also realize that not all consequences are bad, there can also be rewards for your choices. All a reward is the positive consequences of choice that we have made. I don't want to be long winded about this subject but it is very important that you realize that for each and everything we do we are either going to receive a consequence or a reward depending on whatever decision or choice we have made.
In my blog entry entitled "A change of scenery might be what you need..." I explained that if you are in a pattern of behavior or a rut, you may just need to change your scenery or venue. Meaning in order to make a clean break from what you are trying to escape you might need to move to a new place, change your friends or do whatever you need to do to make your situation better. You made a choice that got you into the present situation and the choice you are making now to get out of whatever it is will have greater and far reaching affects than you can imagine. Now, no one said that any decision you make is going to be easy, that there aren't going to be obstacles in your way, or people trying to keep you held back. What I am trying to tell you is that the benefits of your choice will outweigh the costs that you are facing. You may not see them or recognize them right away, but believe me they will come.
No matter what you are facing, if you let your emotions, depression or guilt cloud your judgement, you won't be able to address the situation correctly, and you might miss some choices that aren't readily foreseen. As I have told you, for every choice that we are presented with in our life, there are a million different choices. There is no single solution that outweighs any other, just the consequences and the rewards that we will have to face. Therefore, if there are considerations that need to be made you need to tackle them objectively, and truthfully look for all possible solutions and directions at which to come at the problem from. Abstract thinking and thinking outside of the box require you to use rational thought, you have to be free from distractions and emotions.
Divorcing ourselves from emotions is a very important step in the process of determining which course of action we should take. Because only if we keep our mind free of distractions can we truly focus on the problem or choice that we have to make. In my blog entry "There is no right or wrong way to deal with a problem" I go into some detail explaining that you have to review your choices before you make a decision, and that the key to finding all the choices that you have open to you is by keeping your emotions detached from the selection process. Now this is a hard thing to learn, you have to understand that you have use the analytical part of your brain. You must come at the problem from every possible angle you can think of. If you don't the situation becomes muddle and confused with anxiety, depression and sometimes guilt.
It is okay to feel those things and we all do. The secret is how you deal with those feelings, and how you push them back so that you can think clearly and rationally about the problem at hand and the choice that you have to make. In other words, every decision, has several choices, and each choice can lead to several more decisions that have to be made. Our brain is such a miraculous thing that it can analyze and compute all the decisions, choices, and all the variables associated with them in a blink of an eye. When we really put our brain power to focus on one of these choices or decision we take conscious control away from the brain and we analyze it in detail. This is the process that I am talking about, the split second decisions, the ones that need a response immediately sometimes cannot be process through with rational or analytic thought at all because they happen so quickly. But other things like paying a bill and what pair of shoes to wear, are all things we can analyze and make a conscious decision about.
The only thing that I would like you to take away from this blog entry is this: that every day we face problems, and decision points that we need to evaluate and find the appropriate solution for. In order to see all the choices before you, you really want to see all of them because you don't want to make the situation worse by making a bad decision. That for each choice and decision we have to make there are a myriad of solutions in which we can act upon to remedy the situation. Therefore, with detaching our emotions and keeping an open mind you might find a workable solution to the dilemma or problem.
We have free choice of our own actions, and we can extricate ourselves out of the situations we have put ourselves in or allowed ourselves to be in. It is just a matter of looking at the situation from every possible angle and making a logical and rational decision on how to handle and deal with the situation.
As Always my hopes and dreams are with you.
Uncle B.
Showing posts with label confrontation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confrontation. Show all posts
Monday, August 6, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Have you ever been intimidated or scared by someone?
Depending on who you are I would say that each and everyone of us has been scared, intimidated, bullied by someone in our life. What did you do? Did you confront the person? Live with it? Or did you fight back in someway. The topic of bullying has been in the media so much lately, there are commercials, there are pro-athletes and movie stars, singers and common everyday people speaking out against bullying and encouraging each of us to do our part to put a stop to it.
Here is the problem with these media campaigns they all assume that someone is witnessing the event taking place. But what happens when you are all alone and you are caught by someone who is bullying you? How are you going to handle the immediate situation? What are you going to do?
Another problem is what exactly do we consider bullying? A bully uses intimidation, physical force, maybe emotional abuse and guilt to try and make another person do something or control them in some way. Bullying is unpredictable, you never know how the situation is going to turn out.
These are my thoughts on the matter: No matter what the situation is or how scared you are. You must keep moving, try not to say anything and if they want something, give it to them. My philosophy here is that retreat and personal safety are the better part of valor. Keep your head down, try not to speak back and make the situation worse. Once you are safely out of the situation you need to find the nearest adult or person in authority like a police officer, security guard, parking attendant, etc. You need to let someone know what has happened and give as much information as you can to what the situation was about. Now, in a dangerous situation you are going to be scared, you are going to panic, and you are going to want to get away from the situation as soon as possible. But remember the more information you can give the authorities the better the chance that they will be able to find the person and deal with the situation.
You might even be bullied in your relationship, it definitely is easy to loose your sense of self when you are in a relationship and it is easy for your partner to manipulate you and put you down, make you feel inferior, This is a form of emotional abuse and you don't deserve to be treated that way. Each of us deserves to be treated with love and respect. But what will you do if you are in a situation that you cannot seem to get out of. Your mate is abusive, bullying, and keeps you always down. You need to realize that this is happening to you and you need to find inside yourself the strength to get away from that person. You should remember that if this person is not helping you to get to the next station in your life, they are holding you back they are keeping you down, they really don't care about you, find help, confide in a friend, do something. Doing nothing just strengthens the other persons hold on you and keeps you from moving forward.
Ut is everyone's responsibility to speak out, let someone know what has happened or is happening. If we don't all do our part, how can we expect this issue to be resolved. Teachers and security guards cannot be everywhere, if you see something transpiring at school or on the street find someone of authority, strength is in numbers. Don't try to intervene yourself if you see that the situation could potentially become dangerous.
Many times if a person is bullying you it because you have something they want, or they are trying to impress someone or they are just compensating for some sort of abuse or they are trying to manipulate you into doing something that they want. If you can get a person talking and can find out what the situation is all about so much the better, but the idea is to not get hurt and not put yourself at risk. The authorities will have to investigate and find out what the root cause of the problem is.
If you are a bully, what is it that is causing you to lash out and hurt others. Why are you trying to make someone as miserable as yourself. If you are being abused at home or whatever your situation you need to let someone know what is going on. They can help you, get you help and stop the abuse. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Try to understand that you are hurting someone, you are intimidating them, and embarrassing them. None of us like to feel threatened, scared, intimidated, embarrassed, humiliated. So treat others like you want to be treated. Remember that everything thing we do in this life has direct and severe consequences. Karma is a Biotch and is something that you don't want to have come at you in a negative fashion. Just remember that what comes around goes around. In either situation whether you are the victim or the bully. Whatever you give out will come back. If you talk about another person in a negative way you are actually cursing the person. Remember what I told you in my earlier post about the law of attraction? In the terms of metaphysic energy remember that like energy draws more of the same. Positive positive and negative negative. Now let me tell you something else that falls in the same category as the above law. In our physical world we are taught about the law of cause and effect.
Physics teach us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Using this law anything we say or do would put this law into motion. So if you think or speak something badly about a person you have actually cursed that person and put this law into full action. What you may not be aware of is this if you put out good into this law you will get three-fold back, but if you put negative or bad out there you get ten-fold back this is the law of cause and effect and karma coming back at you. So please be careful with what you do, what you think, how you act, react and treat others because you are going to reap what you sow, and what comes around goes around. Karma is an unforgiving mistress and will pay you back in kind when you are least expecting it.
So what have I been trying to tell you...Think before you act, curb your tongue, keep your head down, and if you are in a confrontational situation, do what you have to so you don't physically get hurt. As soon as you get clear of the situation, let someone know, do something, you don't want someone else having to go through what you just went through. Try to remember as much from the encounter as you can and pass that on to others.
Treat everyone the way you want to be treated, love one another, and smile...You will get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. If we could all live by this philosophy the world would be a much better and happier place.
As always...let me know what you think and get back to me...
Uncle B
Here is the problem with these media campaigns they all assume that someone is witnessing the event taking place. But what happens when you are all alone and you are caught by someone who is bullying you? How are you going to handle the immediate situation? What are you going to do?
Another problem is what exactly do we consider bullying? A bully uses intimidation, physical force, maybe emotional abuse and guilt to try and make another person do something or control them in some way. Bullying is unpredictable, you never know how the situation is going to turn out.
These are my thoughts on the matter: No matter what the situation is or how scared you are. You must keep moving, try not to say anything and if they want something, give it to them. My philosophy here is that retreat and personal safety are the better part of valor. Keep your head down, try not to speak back and make the situation worse. Once you are safely out of the situation you need to find the nearest adult or person in authority like a police officer, security guard, parking attendant, etc. You need to let someone know what has happened and give as much information as you can to what the situation was about. Now, in a dangerous situation you are going to be scared, you are going to panic, and you are going to want to get away from the situation as soon as possible. But remember the more information you can give the authorities the better the chance that they will be able to find the person and deal with the situation.
You might even be bullied in your relationship, it definitely is easy to loose your sense of self when you are in a relationship and it is easy for your partner to manipulate you and put you down, make you feel inferior, This is a form of emotional abuse and you don't deserve to be treated that way. Each of us deserves to be treated with love and respect. But what will you do if you are in a situation that you cannot seem to get out of. Your mate is abusive, bullying, and keeps you always down. You need to realize that this is happening to you and you need to find inside yourself the strength to get away from that person. You should remember that if this person is not helping you to get to the next station in your life, they are holding you back they are keeping you down, they really don't care about you, find help, confide in a friend, do something. Doing nothing just strengthens the other persons hold on you and keeps you from moving forward.
Ut is everyone's responsibility to speak out, let someone know what has happened or is happening. If we don't all do our part, how can we expect this issue to be resolved. Teachers and security guards cannot be everywhere, if you see something transpiring at school or on the street find someone of authority, strength is in numbers. Don't try to intervene yourself if you see that the situation could potentially become dangerous.
Many times if a person is bullying you it because you have something they want, or they are trying to impress someone or they are just compensating for some sort of abuse or they are trying to manipulate you into doing something that they want. If you can get a person talking and can find out what the situation is all about so much the better, but the idea is to not get hurt and not put yourself at risk. The authorities will have to investigate and find out what the root cause of the problem is.
If you are a bully, what is it that is causing you to lash out and hurt others. Why are you trying to make someone as miserable as yourself. If you are being abused at home or whatever your situation you need to let someone know what is going on. They can help you, get you help and stop the abuse. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Try to understand that you are hurting someone, you are intimidating them, and embarrassing them. None of us like to feel threatened, scared, intimidated, embarrassed, humiliated. So treat others like you want to be treated. Remember that everything thing we do in this life has direct and severe consequences. Karma is a Biotch and is something that you don't want to have come at you in a negative fashion. Just remember that what comes around goes around. In either situation whether you are the victim or the bully. Whatever you give out will come back. If you talk about another person in a negative way you are actually cursing the person. Remember what I told you in my earlier post about the law of attraction? In the terms of metaphysic energy remember that like energy draws more of the same. Positive positive and negative negative. Now let me tell you something else that falls in the same category as the above law. In our physical world we are taught about the law of cause and effect.
Physics teach us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Using this law anything we say or do would put this law into motion. So if you think or speak something badly about a person you have actually cursed that person and put this law into full action. What you may not be aware of is this if you put out good into this law you will get three-fold back, but if you put negative or bad out there you get ten-fold back this is the law of cause and effect and karma coming back at you. So please be careful with what you do, what you think, how you act, react and treat others because you are going to reap what you sow, and what comes around goes around. Karma is an unforgiving mistress and will pay you back in kind when you are least expecting it.
So what have I been trying to tell you...Think before you act, curb your tongue, keep your head down, and if you are in a confrontational situation, do what you have to so you don't physically get hurt. As soon as you get clear of the situation, let someone know, do something, you don't want someone else having to go through what you just went through. Try to remember as much from the encounter as you can and pass that on to others.
Treat everyone the way you want to be treated, love one another, and smile...You will get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. If we could all live by this philosophy the world would be a much better and happier place.
As always...let me know what you think and get back to me...
Uncle B
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