Monday, June 11, 2012

The Games That People play...

It never ceases to amaze me the games that people play with one another.  I wonder why people have to be so sneaky and under-handed when they deal with others. I find it suspect when two people are sickly sweet to one another face's but behind each other's back they tear each other apart.  This is not a friendship that I want to be a part of.  I don't want to have to be the one to take a side and choose one person over the other. It breaks my heart when the problems between the two individuals stoop down to stealing from each other and end up hurting one another.  It makes no sense at all to me that two people cannot stand face to face and discuss things like adults.

A very good example this type of situation is with my good friends Greg and Michael. They were a couple and have had some very good times and then some very rough times.  But, all in all they were a couple and that should have been respected by everyone involved.  Michael ended up moving in with a guy named Ken that didn't like Greg, now this situation has been going on for almost a year now.  Ken had made it clear that he didn't like Greg from the start.  The situation escalated last month when Mike was talking to Greg on the phone and some people in the apartment were criticizing Mike for talking to Greg and other things.  Apparently, one of the people was Ken the roommate and another friend named Eric.  Supposedly the situation was dealt with swiftly and severely, and Mike stood up for Greg and Eric was asked to leave and Mike made a point of stating that anyone else who had a problem with the relationship he was in should at least respect him enough to keep their opinions to themselves.  At this point you would have thought that the situation was well and done with. But as it turns out it wasn't.  Mike invited Greg to come to Atlanta to stay with him while trying to find another place to live. Supposedly this was cleared with members of the household and everything was set. Unfortunately, that wasn't actually the case and Ken had an issue with Greg being there.  Greg hearing this and having his feelings hurt left the house to get some air and clear his head and think about what he needed to do.

The situation got worse and when Greg finally went back several days later, I honestly don't have a clue where he went or what he was up too, all I am aware of is that some time had passed before he showed  back up to collect his things. As it turns out they neither Mike nor Ken would let Greg in or return his stuff to him. Now this is from someone that was supposed to love him and be his boyfriend, partner and confidant.  How disappointing that the situation wasn't handled on a more adult level.  I find it discouraging that a colossal game was perpetrated on my friend Greg.  Instead of telling him the truth Michael let on that the move was approved by the household and everything was arranged, then when the situation arose where Greg was made to feel so uncomfortable he had to leave, why wasn't his things taken by Mike and put up safe for them to be returned to Greg upon his return?  Again, I don't know all the particulars, but my feelings and thoughts on this are clear.  If someone has a problem with another person be a man and tell them to their face.  Don't stoop to talking about them behind their backs and stealing from them.  This is game shit, and shouldn't be tolerated.

Worse of all is that Michael apparently is a party to this and it hurts me to say that I expected better of him. Greg should have been able to collect his things and go, no questions asked.  Why the game play, why the stealing of someone else's things to make the situation that much worse.  See I have been in the same situation and had the same thing happen.  Michael wasn't a part of what happened to me, but Ken was and that makes it even more upsetting, because there were plenty of times when Ken could have spoken up to me and told me what his problem was with me. Apparently, there was a situation because my best friend V.J. told me all about the sneaky and deceptive things that Ken tried to get him to do to me.  In the end, I got out of the situation and it cost me a lot, but you know what. I am not bitter or upset by what had happened. I just take it with a grain of salt and chalk it up to immaturity and the culture in which I was in.  I can honestly say that I was in the drug culture at the time and should have known better.

Long story short is this.  Life is too short for you to be untruthful with someone, and if you have a problem with them tell them straight out.  They will be glad you did and so will you.  They will honestly know where they stand with you. Games and deceptions are for the weak and the cowardly. Don't stoop to someone else's level, maintain your ground an move on.  Because as I have often said before Karma is a bitch and a hard task mistress.  If you don't believe me do wrong to someone and see how fast it comes back on you, and it will be that much worse for you than what you did to someone else.  It takes a man of courage to stand up for themselves and say what is on their mind, but it also takes someone of equal vigor to tell someone what problem you have with them is.  Be fair and honest, let the person know how you are feeling and if you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel your are being played or stolen from do something about it.

I am not a proponent of bringing in the police in situations but if someone is taking your things and not giving them back by all means get the police and go back to the person and get your things. Don't worry about anything else, don't care if they are involved in something they aren't supposed to be into, because if they get caught it is on them for doing you wrong, you are only standing up for yourself and getting what is rightfully yours back.

Do not let someone walk all over you, because if you lay down they will continue to do it.  If someone is talking about you and you know it, don't be stupid and keep hanging out with them.  Don't continue to do things for them or help them in anyway because in the long run it isn't going to be worth it and you are going to get hurt. Move on, walk away, there are things you can do and other people in the world that care about you.  When you discover you are being played or someone is running game on you, cut your loss's and leave the situation, because I can tell you from experience no matter what you do, or how you handle the situation they are going to keep on doing to you and using you.  I know, I had someone I thought was my best friend and kept hearing he was talking about me behind my back and so forth, I refused to believe it and I was told by people I know and love, yet I still did the stupid thing of trying to help this person and they ended up taking me for the full 700 dollars I loaned him and then when I was in the hospital the same person took my checkbook and wrote 1200 dollars in bad checks and left me stuck on the street with no place to go when I confronted them about it.  I could have saved myself some embarrassment and heart ache if I would have just listened to my ex, and believed what he was telling me.

I have learned that for the most part the reason why people play the games that they do with another person is because they are insecure within themselves, they are trying to get over on someone because they feel they have been wronged by someone else and that it is owed to them or just the simple plane truth that they are immature and selfish and are only looking out for themselves.  So now, I scrutinize more closely those people I dare to call a friend and I hold them to a much higher standard now. I also have learned my lesson that if someone wants something from me, it is probably not in my interest to help them because I need to take care of myself because no one else will. It is the honest truth, no one helped me when I was out on the street alone, but my family. I had no one looking out for me and making sure I was taken care of.  So trust me when I say to you, look out for yourself, do for yourself because if you aren't there isn't going to be anyone else doing it for you.  Maybe on those rare occasions you might meet someone that loves you and you love them and they have your back, but more than likely you are meeting a person who is looking for you to help them get to the next level and you are too.  If the situation is mutual helping of one another and building of something together than it is good otherwise it is defeatist because one person is getting over on the other and taking advantage, don't let this happen to you.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B