Friday, June 1, 2012

How amazing it is

It is pretty sad when you reach out to someone to reconcile differences with them and all you get back is hatred and poison, steeped with venom and bitterness.  Life is not always easy, and mistakes are definitely made along the way.  It doesn't matter how much a person changes and what they are going through that makes them different from what they were the party who thinks they have been injured will never get past the hurt they feel.

It is pretty obvious that one person alone isn't too blame for everything that goes wrong between two people.  Each party has their faults and both party's are to blame for the circumstances.  What is hard is when one party doesn't want to accept responsibility for their own shortcomings and wants to hold resentment toward you who is trying to accept your share.  But oh well, life moves on and so must you. Nothing you say or do is going to convince the other party that they are wrong in their assumptions and all the conclusions they have lept too.

I know this can be hurtful and damaging because you really are reaching out to the other person and trying to make those wrongs right, but guess what, if they don't want to let go, you tried and did what you could.  Realizing this will make it easier for you to move and make a difference in your own life.  Keeping in mind that forgiveness is for yourself and not someone else. You can rest easier knowing that the problem is no longer yours, but theirs.

The past is the past and you cannot change it, but the future is bright and clear and you definitely can make sure that the same mistakes that were once made are not repeated.  You cannot go around blaming people for what has happened, accept it and move on, forgive, love and try to make amends, and if you can't, you can't.  Both of you know what happened and even though both of you see things from a different point of view and both of you see the situation in a totally different light that cannot and probably will not ever be the same.  Perceived wrongs are more deadly and hurtful than the actual true ones. You know why? Because the person who felt them believes them to exist whether they actually did or not. Trying to explain or rationalize what truly happen is just going to fall on deaf ears.  One day when both of you are ready and time has healed the freshness of the wounds, you will probably be able to talk about what happened and explore both sides for what they were.

No matter, how you are feeling now, trust me you will feel better in the long run if you reach out and try to fix what was broke.  Be the bigger person, admit what you did was wrong, and know in your heart that everything you did was for a just reason.  You are not a trying to open old wounds and hurt your friend you are trying to let go of the past and move on with a little less baggage to carry with you as you move forward.  One day hopefully it will be soon, the hurt and the pain will subside and you can rebuild what was once torn apart.

Remember you are not the only one at fault in the situation and both of you have to heal and grow to move past the circumstances and the pain you felt, but keep the faith eventually one or both of you will come around.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B