One of my friends read my blog and encouraged me to fill in the missing pieces to the puzzle about the upcoming surgery on Monday. After weighing carefully what I have been told and since I am sharing every other aspect of my life with the readers already, I might as well tell you the whole story and why it has been weighing so heavily on my mind.
So here it is! All of you who have been following my blog knows that the surgery is to take down the ileostomy and move the colostomy into the proper place. This is an attempt to rid the body of excess toxins that are affecting my kidney's and liver. Well the portion of the process that I have been keeping close to my heart and haven't really been sharing with anyone are the risks involved and what the doctor's are so concerned about. About a month ago I started receiving treatment by the Veterans Administration here in Florida. Now, what was discovered is that the radiation treatments that I had during the 90's has radically affected my pelvic region, the pelvic bone has become porous and brittle, the large intestines as well as the small intestines, bladder, spleen, gall bladder, pancreas, appendix and stomach have all had exposure to high levels of radiation and are showing signs of impairment.
What this means is that the surgery that is being planned is really risky, more so then I have been letting everyone know. In March, you may be aware that the large intestines ruptured in two places because the radiation has made the entire colon very friable. Friable means so fragile that it disintegrate when barely touched. Now what the surgeon has proposed is taking down the ileostomy and allowing waste to be filtered through the large intestine to remove excess toxins. Because the colon is so weak and fragile there is no guaranty that it will hold at all and allow the removal of the toxins. Rupture is highly likely, and if this happens blood and waste would flood into my system and kill me almost immediately, however this is an attempt to save my life and is a temporary measure till the interferon treatments can be successfully administered to get the hepatitis c virus under control. If the hep c treatments are successful the kidney's and liver functions should return to normal and the colostomy could be taken down and removed permanently if it holds. If there are signs of further weakening and damage the doctors have said they would once again put in an ileostomy.
Now, by doing this the surgeon has said that I could have at least two years to five years of normal health, before the individual organs begin to shut down one at a time. To further make this situation worse is that the surgery that I had in March removed my gall bladder and half of my stomach, and another foot of colon. If steps aren't taken to re-enforce the abdominal wall gravity and pressure could cause my internal organs to shift in location downward, adding additional pressure on my already weak pelvic bone, if and when this happens my spinal column will be impaired and the spinal cord will undoubtedly be pinched and crushed as the pelvic bone collapses. What this actually means is that I will loose the function of my legs and be confined to a wheel-chair. Now, I have not agreed to anything further than fixing the colon at this point. I have been given one possible alternative to the crushing of my pelvic bone and that is something called a pelvic mesh. Now, the issue with this is that in 95% of the cases of people with the mesh end up developing fatal cancer with-in 2-5 years. With my history of cancer and the luck I seem to have in my life I doubt I will get even that much time.
So now, you all know that this surgery is risky at best, and that no matter what happens at this point there are no certainties to any of these procedures, and the maximum amount of time that I have been told that I could possibly achieve by following through on any of this is 5 years maximum. But considering the alternatives I consider this to be an acceptable risk. Now, let me express to you that I am not giving up hope here, and rest assured that I am going to continue fighting the radiation disease and cancer and the leukemia, and the hepatitis c and the end stage renal disease as well as the HIV, and that no matter what happens from here on out I have given it over to God's healing hands.
I know that I am not in this fight alone, I have a wonderful family and a great support network of friends that are standing by me and uplifting me in their prayers. I have heard from a lot of you that I am so blessed and that I have such an inspirational story. Here is also something for you to think about, God has been with me all the way down this long hard road that I have traveled and if you don't believe me just listen to this. My story started 42 years ago and when I entered this world I was born with a fractured skull, the doctors told my parents that if I survived, I would be severely brain damaged, probably never walk or talk, over and over again they kept saying I was going to die. I was only 6 pounds when I was born and I was put into an incubator for 8 months. The part you don't know is that I grew up pretty normally and when I was 5, I was tested and made a MENSA candidate. At the age of 14, I was hit in the eye with a stick and I was told that I was going to go blind, and guess what, my eyesight got better, not back to normal but a lot better, I didn't have to wear bi-focals any longer. As a matter of fact in 2004 I had lasic surgery and guess what my eye sight went to 20/15 which is better than normal. From 2004 thru 2011, I went through repeated kidney failure and severe dehydration because of the ostomy's that I have had to endure with my colon issue, but each time with a little rest and care have always come back on line miraculously. And you already know that in '92 I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma and given 18 months to live, and in 2004 I was told that the radiation enteritis was eating up my pelvis and mid section and that I would never make it past 5 years of normal life. So do you see that pattern that has become so apparent to me?
Let me point it out, my best friend V.J. Harbins once told me that I lived a blessed life and he was absolutely right. God has never abandoned me, even when I left His side and had given up on myself and went off seeking for death. Through the power of prayer and faith in God I have been delivered over and over again and healed. Each time the doctor's had given a specific time frame they have been wrong and here I am still alive, well and kicking. Trust me when I say God has a plan for each of us and until we complete that plan and our work on earth is done we are going to be here, and I am praying that my work is not yet over, but understand this, if it is I AM READY FOR THE END AND WILL FINALLY HAVE WON MY BATTLE. That is right, as my cousin pointed out to me last night this is a win-win situation here, if I recover, I have more time to spend here with you, and if I pass on I get to start living truly, because it isn't till we get to heaven that we truly begin to live. Remember that earth is our training ground and what we learn here is what we get live by and with in our eternal life. So, after a long night of thought and prayer I have come up with this, worry and doubt and second guess are doing nothing but causing me to spin my wheels and are distracting me from the goal of getting on with my life. See by worrying I have taken my surgery out of
God's hand and back into my own and that isn't the place where this needs to be kept. By writing this and getting everything out, I am actually taking my worry and getting it out of my system and in effect putting this surgery and everything afterwards back in God's hands.
Now as you read over this blog entry hopefully it will open your eyes to the real reason why I had reservations and concerns about this upcoming surgery. As you know I have to be at the hospital first thing in the morning at 5:30am. I would appreciate it if you would all keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow.
As always my hopes and dream are with you,