Sunday, November 11, 2012

What is actually meant by "Keeping it Real?"

I hear a lot of people running around saying "Keep it Real", "Real talk", or "100".  But do they even have an idea of what they are actually talking about.  The answer to that is NO.  See, the younger generation assumes that it means be honest, don't lie, don't cheat, be yourself etc.  Yes that is part of it, but there is so much more that encompasses what being real is all about.  Keeping it real has to start with integrity, truth and compassion.  Most youth use it today to be blunt and rude. They throw their opinion out there like it is requested, required or needed.  Guess what folks it isn't.  I have a friend that pointed out to me yesterday that if you are truly wanting to keep it real or be real, it has to start with yourself. You have to be true to yourself, be honest and open with yourself.  You can't hide behind your mask or fascade and think that you are being real or keeping it real.

Many of you run around pretending to be Thugs, gangsta's or bad boys.  Truth of the matter is it is just an act, it is a costume that you put on each morning when you get up. It is a behavior, or pattern that you are trying to use to change who you truly are.  The problem with this is, the real you is still there hidden behind all that you are trying to get the world to see. You are creating a false persona that you want other including your friends to see.  You weren't born a Thug, Gangster, bad boy. You were born a male, and you should grow into a man.  Who you are affiliated with or hang with should not be who you become.  If you want to have a secret identity it truly is up to you, but you can't be real to anyone else if you are not real with yourself. 

In order for you to be real you have to understand what being real actually entails.  See there is more too it than just being honest with others, it is more than just being blunt and straightforward.  Being real means being a person of integrity. Honest, trustworthy and putting others before yourself.  See there are elements of being real that many of you seem to not understand they are compassion, understanding and respect.  In order for you to be real with another person, you have to be compassionate at how you talk with them, how you deliver the truth to them.  Keep in mind it isn't what you say but how you say it.  Further, if you truly understand and respect the person and their intentions then you are going to be there for them and talk to them. You will take the time to explain to them the situation and make sure that they are aware of all the variables and possible risks that are involved.  Remember this Real is born out of love for another person, you care about them, you don't want them hurt or embarrassed, it isn't a means to be brutal, hurtful or blunt. 

I want to explain this to you a bit further, I want to break it down to you so that you understand exactly what being real is all about and what it entails. See there are responsibilities and emotions that are associated with being real or keeping it real.  But in order to understand all of this you first need to know what the definition of being real is all about.  Real as defined by the Webster's Pocket dictionary is "something which is existing, genuine, true, or authentic.  Under the law it is defined as property which is regarded as permanent, fixed or immovable; not illusory, artificial, or fraudulent." Either of those definitions go a long way into establishing what I am trying to say.  Most ot the time when someone tells you to keep it real, they are talking about you yourself, the person.  However, it is also something that should be demonstrated in your actions, attitude and way you interact with other people.  Being real is unconditional if you are trying to be real, it is something that is accepted and practiced at all times.  There isn't a halfway point with being real. Either you are or you are not. It is a way of life, and it isn't always easy.  You have to keep other's thoughts and feelings in mind as you are trying to practice it.

Being real is all about unconditionally accepting others, caring about them and giving them the respect that they deserve, and having their backs at all times, putting their needs and wants before your own.  It also is about being aware of their feelings and being honest and truthful with them using compassion, understanding, love and respect and offering them support to show them how you actually feel. Now, what does this mean.  It means that you have to be gentle and kind in your honesty with them, conscious of how your words and truth might hurt them.  You need to couch them in compassion and temper them with love, respect and understanding.  If you do this, the bluntness of your words and attitude will be tempered enough that won't hurt the other person too badly.  Often times your good intentions are missed because of the way in which they are said. Your word's are blunt, callus and bitter, they hurt and sting, it immediately puts the person you are trying to look out for put their backs up and resist what you are trying to tell them. The pain your words have caused has made them dig in their heals and can cause resentment towards you and your attitude. If you approach the situation as I have mentioned above your words will have a better chance of causing change and helping the other person. 

What I am trying to tell you is that "Being Real", "Keeping it Real", "Keeping it 100", or being just plain "real" is a lifestyle, a way of living.  It is something that needs to be practiced and lived, rather than trying to emulate it.  If you live by it, it will be automatic to you.  But being real is a combination of honesty with other emotions and processes involved.  In order for you to actually accomplish it and live by it you have to understand it.  That is what I want you to take away from this entry.  Being real needs to be handled with compassion, trust and faith. It encompasses love, respect, truth and support.  Actions speak louder than words, prove to me that you are real, by being real to yourself and others at all times.  If you are going to claim it you better damn well be doing it.

Remember it isn't something that you turn on or off. Either you are or your not!   Keep in mind that being real is all of those things I have mentioned compassion, trust, faith, love, respect and support. You can't only put one or two in there and think that you are being real.  You can't use blunt honesty alone and think that you are being real.  Being real is not something that you use as a weapon to hurt others, being real is just another name for integrity.  Being real and keeping it real, means that you show everyone respect, offer them support, you are honest with them in a compassionate and understanding way.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B