Friday, November 2, 2012

On Your Darkest Day

I can see the storm clouds gathering, I know it is going to be a beaut.  Full of howling fury and torrential rains, lightning that is going to burst the gray and heavy leaden clouds.  The sun is hidden, twilight has descended upon the world.  Every chore and task is done in grim sullen silence.  There is a heaviness in the air, as if someone has been holding their breathe.  The air is charged with electricity and cold fingers are clutching at your exposed skin.  You have known other storms, you have waded through the high waters and strong winds, and know that you can brave this one as you have all others.  Your secret is that you plod along keeping your focus on the tasks at hand, knowing that the quicker they are done the faster you can return the the warmth and safety of your house.  You know in the back of your mind that the warm glow of the fire will chase the chill away, your favorite chair is there waiting for you, and no matter the gale and force that assails the world your four walls are a sanctuary and solitude against its marauding onslaught.

Home is where the hearth and heart reside, it is where we feel safe from all things. You have stored up your prized possessions there and know that they are safe and secure. Just as you feel safe and secure there.  You let nothing and no one disturb that solitude and place of refuge. It is your shelter, your safe harbor and your own.  Time has no meaning there, it is as if it matters naught while you are inside.  For, your comfort, rest and peace is all important within those walls.  Each of us needs a place like this, a place we call home and our own. We need a shelter and refuge from the storms of life.  But we also need to know that when the storms befall us, that there are still things that must be done, we need to muddle through them the best we can, and make it back to our haven of rest and security.

The storm that I am talking about above can be a physical storm or a mental one.  When you are fraught and worried about bills and other things your security and safety may feel threatened. You have to work still and endure the storm, but if you keep your mind on the task and keep the thought of your haven in your mind you will be able to make it through.  In today's economy money never seems to stretch the distance, and each of us goes through each day and week worrying how we are ever going to make it through the storm.  Despite how dark and threatening the clouds may look and how hard the wind is blowing, you know that you can succeed. It might take everything you got but you can do it.  Despite your doubts and reservations, a way will be presented to  you and though it may be difficult and tough you can weather through.

Even when despair is looming over your shoulder and filling your mind with doubts.  Search the darkness and the sky, look for that glimmer of light that can just barely be seen. Focus your mind on that and plod on.  Strive for the light, try to reach it with all your might, and when your strength seems to flag, do not despair because help is near.  You may not see it, or recognize it's presence but trust me it is there close at hand.  Give it your all, give your strength and will to the fight and be victorious, because you know it will happen.  Light dispels the darkness, chases away the shadows, and will eat away at the doubts and depression that are filling your mind.  It is that speck of light in the distance that gives you hope, and pulls you ever onward toward it.

Today was a dark day for me, it seemed like everything I had thought and believed was falling apart.  I was contacted by the landlord and told that I owed 200 more than I had thought, and I scurried around in a tizzy wondering how I was going to cover the extra expense. I was weary and warn by worry and thoughts that I might fail, it seemed as if my life were being tossed on a dark and violent sea, ravaged and torn by a mighty storm, but in the distance I had a faint hope that something would change and make the situation more bearable.  At 5pm tonight the light broke the horizon and shone brightly down on me. I could now see the edges of the storm and I knew that I had journeyed through.  See at 5 this evening I got a call that I have been waiting for for several weeks if not longer. It was a call from my partner, my friend and lover, who told me that he had weathered his own storm and had finally made a decision. Reach the end of an epic journey and at the end was me.  Though things might be tough for me for a little while I know now that I can wait it out that he will soon be joining me and when he does things won't be so tight anymore.  I told him what was happening and what I was going through and how I was worried that I might have to rent out the extra room. That I didn't think that I could make ends meet on my own and that I was hurting because I wanted to make everything work out alright and not have to struggle.

What he said is that he is coming down here, that he would be able to help me and pay half the rent, which is going to end up helping me out and get me back on track with everything else.  He was the hope and the light that I was focused upon.  His announcement that he was coming and wanted to be with me made every struggle, pain and doubt all worthwhile.  For him to acknowledge and tell me that he still loved me and wanted me made all the difference. Once those words were said the heaviness in the air seemed to break, the charge also seemed to disparate and I felt relief.  See I can weather anything as long as I know that I am loved and wanted, that help is on the way.  That I won't have to struggle alone, and that it won't be long till I see his face and hold him close.  These are the things that have brought me joy.

So even on your darkest day when everything feels wrong and all full of disarray, look for the light, seek it out, though it might be dim and far from you, cling to it strive for it.  You will be surprised at how it feels when you reach it and victory is in your hands.  There is always light, and always hope even when your world feels like it is breaking apart. You may have to look for it, mount a search and head in its direction, for in the light comes your help your rest and respite.  The storm won't last forever, and if you are holding on to the light your hope and might will out last the darkest and mightiest of storms.  With in the light you will find your home your place of rest and refuge, the help you seek and the walls to withstand the assault.  They say it is always darkest before the dawn, but it is also the darkest before you are found.  Fear and doubts can cloud your mind and judgment and make you take the wrong path, you can get lost and mired down, but if your eyes are on the light, you are sure to make it through. Help and rest is in the light just like your waiting chair and roaring fire.  In your darkest times and darkest hour God will send you help and strength to fight. You are never alone, and if your feet should falter or your mind a fright with fret, the Lord will carry you. He is our rock and are fortress, He sends His champions and angels to guide us and help us, even if we cannot see them they are all about, you cannot fail or falter if you have Him in your heart.

Today was a rough and dark day for me, I thought and was fraught with doubt and fears, and didn't think I would be able to stay in my home, that I would have to give it up that I wouldn't be able to make ends meet that I had bitten off more than I could chew, and as these thoughts were assailing my brain, I began to despair and wondered how I would make it through, that is when God sent my partner to call me.  We hadn't spoken in almost a full month, and I felt and was worried I was on my own.  Just as those thoughts entered my mind my phone rang and all my fears were laid to rest.  Before the New Year my partner will be here.  I know I can hold out to till then, and though it might be tight and tough, I know without a shadow of doubt that I will be delivered and I will survive.

God sometimes tests us, gives us challenges to see how we react, but He won't ever give us more than we can bear, and though I had my doubts, He made it clear that the end was drawing near.  God still answers prayer and works miracles in our lives, we just have to be open and receptive to receive them.  We have to look hard into the darkness to spot the light sometimes but it is always there.  Just as a storm isn't permanent neither is a problem.  Both shall pass away and a calm will be left behind in its wake.  Wait for the calm and know that you are favored and blessed because God will deliver you, just have faith and wait and see.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B