You may be wondering what I mean when I say that self must die. During my recent hospitalizations I realized something profoundly important. See, I know that God is with me and has His angels surrounding me at any given moment of the day. We are truly never alone even when we feel that there is no one with us and feel weary and burdened. Yet, the truth of the matter is that no matter what you are facing, going through, or experiencing we are truly never left alone and helpless.
Christians believe that when we are born again and baptized into our faith, that the Holy Spirit is imparted to us. I believe this to mean that when we seek forgiveness for our sinful nature and repent of our sins before God, we are given a Comforter, whom I believe is the Holy Spirit and He takes up residence within us. The Bible is pretty specific when talking about the Holy Spirit, rebirth and the indwelling and the Comforter is mentioned several times throughout the gospels. However, when we are born again in Christ our spiritual body goes through a change and this change enables the Holy Spirit to take up residence within our being. Remember that the body is a temple and should be treated as such and given the reverence and respect the House of the Lord deserves.
But what does it truly mean for one's self to die? I believe that there comes a time when you realize that nothing you do would ever be enough to over come a problem or difficulty. You may have some deep seeded fear or desire that you with the Lord to take care of. You bring it to Him in the form of prayer, and we are told that we are to leave it there. What does that mean leave it there? It means that once you present your problem to the Lord and lay it at His feet you must then walk away, do not think on it, dwell on it or worry about it ever again. For if you do any of those things you have not truly left them at the feet of Jesus.
We all have had times when we feel that our prayers are going no higher than the ceiling and maybe you don't understand why, and you become anxious thinking that your prayer is not being answered or even heard. I want to reassure you that all prayers are heard, it is then our job to relinquish them and worry no more. Know in your heart of hearts that the Lord is going to answer the prayer and deliver you from whatever circumstance you are going through. Yet, here is the hard part, as humans we are used to doing things on our own, making a difference, and we almost always seem to use the term I. I did this, I accomplished this, Look what I have done! etc. Do you realize that you yourself are becoming a block to your own blessings? Instead of giving credit where it is actually due, you are letting yourself get in the way.
So here I sit in a hospital bed, waiting to have a second surgery and hoping for the best possible outcome. I know that there are hundreds of people out there right now praying for me. They are praying for total healing, or maybe for skilled guidance of the surgeons hands or whatever the case maybe. Those prayers are being heard even as they are thought of and uttered. But, if I have not totally surrendered myself to the Will of God, I personally maybe the reason why those prayers are not fulfilled or realized. I must let go of my fear, anxiety and worry and accept whatever God has planned for me and my life, I might miss out on all those powerful prayers that others are saying for me.
I know that even as the Father watches the sparrow, He is watching over me. He will not allow me to needlessly let me suffer, and no matter what I am going through there is a lesson there that I must grasp and understand. God is the great physician, He created this thing we call the body and He knows it down to it's smallest component. He has graced me with the gift of life and if it be my time to go home than I shall rejoice with the Heavenly Host, but if it isn't my time then I have a lesson to learn and strength to be gathered from the experience. I must truly surrender and accept that God is in control and He has the best healthcare plan in all the universe.
So I leave you now, knowing that I must have some sleep before the surgery in the morning and that I must give over and totally surrender everything I am and what I believe in order for me to receive the full blessing of the prayers that are being spoken on my behalf.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,