Expect the Unexpected...

As most of you are aware the first few days of December have been extremely busy for me. We had rehearsal for the play “Faces of AIDS” on Thursday November 29^th and the actual live performance was on December 1^st. Now keep in mind that December 1^st is World's AIDS Day and it is also my birthday. This year I turned 44, which is surprising and amazing in itself since no one ever thought I was going to make it to be this old. But you know God has different ideas and plans for our lives and if our work on earth isn't finished then he just might not bring you home. Actually if you want to know that truth of the matter my life started picking up speed right before Thanksgiving and hasn't actually slowed down yet. But as I was saying since I was co-author of the play and a member of the Positive Champions Speakers Bureau and this was a benefit to raise funds for our organization to help us meet the grant requirements, it was my duty to help set up the space and get us ready for the performance. However since it was my birthday I was expected to make an appearance at my dad's place to have a little celebration before the rehearsal and set up, so that is just what I did and it worked out well, I was able to get to the Museum of Arts and Sciences early and help the cast get all set up and organized. Now when I tell you that the performance was awesome, a good time was had by all, I am not selling us short. For the amount of time we had to rehearse and get this under our belts we did a fabulous job. We had a great turn out and when we opened it up to questions and answers the audience participation was excellent. I want to again tell the members of the Positive Champions Speakers Bureau once again, Good Job, Well Done and I am so proud of you.

But that was just the beginning of the adventure that was going to start on December 1^st, after the Faces of AIDS Benefit, most of us went on to the Streamline Hotel for another fund-raising event that was to benefit Outreach Community Care Network an AIDS Service Organization of which I am a client of. They are the organization that helps administer the Ryan White Title funding for Volusia and Flagler counties. They are almost like a pride center, they offer medical services, case management, and a whole host of other services. But I digress as usual here. The benefit at the Streamline Hotel was in Tribute and Remembrance of Billie Boots. Who was a pioneer and champion in raising money for HIV and AIDS from the very beginning. I am proud to say that I knew Billie and the huge heart that he/she had for those infected and affected by HIV. For those of you that haven't figured it out Billie was a female impersonator or as some might call her a Drag Queen, no matter what your choice of titles for Billie, I will just say this an Entertainer that really loved Entertaining. Now back in the day when I first met Billie I was a struggling and aspiring female entertainer myself and I had a stage name of Idora Dixx and for years I traveled the drag circuit with folks like Billie Boots, Gilda Golden, Rusty Fawcett, Carmella Marcella Garcia, Paige King, Daniel Hunter and the list goes on. It was at this fundraiser at the Streamline that I ran into my past and reconnected with some great friends and entertainers that I had lost touch with over the years. It was a fabulous night and a great time supporting a worthy cause.

It was also that night that my tooth broke, so Monday I spent the day trying to get in to see a dentist to get it fixed, and then start packing, because my friend Judy decided to call me Sunday December 2^nd and pay for my plane ticket out to L.A. Then Tuesday came and I had an appointment with the dentist in Orlando so my friend Mary Bennefield and I jumped in the car and drove to Orlando to see the dentist only to be sent away because I had an infection and my insurance would only cover extracting the tooth. Wednesday my friend had neuro-surgery and I promised to take Mary grocery shopping and run errands. Thursday I had to clean house, do laundry, meet with the Vocational Rehabilitation people and so many other things. Because I was leaving on my trip to California on Friday. Now normally I am not so manic, but I really wanted to get the house clean and everything put up so that when I came home from this trip everything would be done and I wouldn't have to do anything but come home and relax. Because in my experience I usually need a vacation from the vacation because I am one of those people that is always on the go.

Now the whole reason why I am telling you all of this stuff is to demonstrate that we need to always expect the unexpected and be amazed and surprised when miracles happen in our lives. Because let me tell you a bit more about this past week, the things that just jumped out at me and happened. These are not all bad things, most of them have been pleasant revelations and I want to demonstrate them to you. See the way things were happening, me being sick with pneumonia right after Thanksgiving, the play rehearsals, then the benefits, I just had no time to think let alone do anything but react. Because of that I was open to the unexpected and great things happened. I think in a way because I wasn't feeling well, and so much was happening around me, my mind just disconnected and I was open to receiving the unexpected. Now what am I talking about by the unexpected? Well let me tell you, the unexpected are events that take place around you and include you that you are unprepared for totally. That being said I will use the play event as an example, even though I had helped write the script for the play and helped with stage managing and blocking the cast, I wasn't actually prepared mentally for the performance. I had just been out of the hospital for 7 days and my mind couldn't remember my lines to save my life. But when it came down too it and I was on the stage and the action was happening around me, a peace settled over me, it almost seemed like time slowed down, and the action around me faded just a little, and the words poured out of my mind and mouth like I knew what they were supposed to be. That my friends is the unexpected. Moving on, I was exhausted and my feet hurt from being on them all day, I had no intention of going to the Streamline that night, but I had never been there before and everyone was talking about going and somehow I just agreed and went. Bam! The unexpected happened, not only did I have a fantastic time and got to hangout with my new friends from the Speakers Bureau, I also ran into some very old and dear friends from my past. I actually reconnected with a few, exchanged numbers and have made plans with them for after my trip to California. So see, the unexpected just jumped out at me and happened. The rest of the week was just happening so fast and everything was a blur, I didn't think I would even have time to catch my breath let alone get everything done that I wanted to get done before I left, but as I shut the door on my apartment this morning I smiled on with contentment everything was completed and done before my father ever showed up to take me to the airport.

Here is another example of expect the unexpected, and it wasn't necessarily a good thing either, see the unexpected can be either good or bad depending on the situation and the circumstances that surround it. I got up this morning had a few last minute things to pack, which I had put out in the living room by the suitcase so I would see them when I got up, I got all of that done with remarkable precision, even had the ticket laying on the coffee table in a place where I would see it and pick it up. Dad got there and I scooted around to get him the stuff I wanted him to take home because I thought it might go bad while I was gone. As we left out I gave the keys to my neighbor so she could collect my mail for me and stuff, and had dad take me to the gas station to get an electronic cigarette so I could have something to smoke on while I was in the airport and on the plane. Once I paid for it and got back in the car I looked around and couldn't find my itinerary or e-tickets anywhere. I couldn't find them in the car, we went back to the gas station and they weren't there, and then we went back to my apartment and I looked around and couldn't find them anywhere. All my careful planning and making sure I had everything went right out the door. I had made dad come over early so I could be early to the airport. Got there just a little before noon and guess what the flight didn't leave until 3:55, it was supposed to leave at 1:52. Then my connecting flight in Charlotte was also delayed. Again, it is me, I should have expected the unexpected!

Honestly no matter how hard I try to plan something it always falls apart or turns out a colossal mess, however if I do things spontaneously and by the seat of my pants it usually turns out spectacular. I have been told that it is a part of my nature as dictated by my zodiac sign which is Sagittarius. I am not sure how true that is but I know that things seem to flow better and have better results when I just wing it as they say. So, what is it that I am trying to tell you in this article? I am telling you that you have to be open and flexible. Life rarely goes the way we want or plan, you have to accept the inevitable and just go with the flow, the unexpected isn't always negative, it can have some positive benefits as well just like in my examples. The truth is life just happens and no matter how carefully you plan, sculpt and try to make things happen, it might just go awry for no apparent reasons. Realizing this will cut down on the stress and disappointment you feel when it happens to you. I have told you before that life is messy, full of twisted and colorful characters, chance events and encounters, adventures and all sorts of things that will get you totally filthy dirty if you let it. Enjoy it, go out there and get crazy wild and totally dirty, but have fun doing it. Don't let your temper flair because your vacations plans got screwed up, go with the flow, enjoy yourself. I am sure that if you just let it go, go with the flow and enjoy yourself no matter what you are going to have the time of your life.

Life is crazy, hectic, and doesn't conform nicely or neatly into rigid roles, rules and plans, so you have to expect that you are going to be thrown a curve-ball every now and then, that your plans are never going to happen as you expect them to and that you have to be flexible and enthusiastic enough to just go with it and enjoy it. This trip started off pretty good and I am rolling with the flow here, and I am happy that I did, I haven't gotten upset or stressed out at all and this is going to be the best trip ever, wanna know why? Cuz, I found out that my boyfriend is coming to meet me tomorrow which is totally unexpected, but totally welcome. Again expect the unexpected and be open to change. It is all about acceptance and adaptability.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

Have you ever been intimidated or scared by someone?

Depending on who you are I would say that each and everyone of us has been scared, intimidated, bullied by someone in our life.  What did you do? Did you confront the person? Live with it? Or did you fight back in someway.  The topic of bullying has been in the media so much lately, there are commercials, there are pro-athletes and movie stars, singers and common everyday people speaking out against bullying and encouraging each of us to do our part to put a stop to it.

Here is the problem with these media campaigns they all assume that someone is witnessing the event taking place.  But what happens when you are all alone and you are caught by someone who is bullying you? How are you going to handle the immediate situation? What are you going to do?

Another problem is what exactly do we consider bullying? A bully uses intimidation, physical force, maybe emotional abuse and guilt to try and make another person do something or control them in some way.  Bullying is unpredictable, you never know how the situation is going to turn out.

These are my thoughts on the matter: No matter what the situation is or how scared you are. You must keep moving, try not to say anything and if they want something, give it to them.  My philosophy here is that retreat and personal safety are the better part of valor.  Keep your head down, try not to speak back and make the situation worse.  Once you are safely out of the situation you need to find the nearest adult or person in authority like a police officer, security guard, parking attendant, etc.  You need to let someone know what has happened and give as much information as you can to what the situation was about.  Now, in a dangerous situation you are going to be scared, you are going to panic, and you are going to want to get away from the situation as soon as possible.  But remember the more information you can give the authorities the better the chance that they will be able to find the person and deal with the situation.

You might even be bullied in your relationship, it definitely is easy to loose your sense of self when you are in a relationship and it is easy for your partner to manipulate you and put you down, make you feel inferior, This is a form of emotional abuse and you don't deserve to be treated that way.  Each of us deserves to be treated with love and respect.  But what will you do if you are in a situation that you cannot seem to get out of. Your mate is abusive, bullying, and keeps you always down. You need to realize that this is happening to you and you need to find inside yourself the strength to get away from that person.  You should remember that if this person is not helping you to get to the next station in your life, they are holding you back they are keeping you down, they really don't care about you, find help, confide in a friend, do something.  Doing nothing just strengthens the other persons hold on you and keeps you from moving forward.

Ut is everyone's responsibility to speak out, let someone know what has happened or is happening.  If we don't all do our part, how can we expect this issue to be resolved. Teachers and security guards cannot be everywhere, if you see something transpiring at school or on the street find someone of authority, strength is in numbers. Don't try to intervene yourself if you see that the situation could potentially become dangerous.

Many times if a person is bullying you it because you have something they want, or they are trying to impress someone or they are just compensating for some sort of abuse or they are trying to manipulate you into doing something that they want.  If you can get a person talking and can find out what the situation is all about so much the better, but the idea is to not get hurt and not put yourself at risk. The authorities will have to investigate and find out what the root cause of the problem is.

If you are a bully, what is it that is causing you to lash out and hurt others.  Why are you trying to make someone as miserable as yourself. If you are being abused at home or whatever your situation you need to let someone know what is going on. They can help you, get you help and stop the abuse.  Put yourself in the other persons shoes.  Try to understand that you are hurting someone, you are intimidating them, and embarrassing them.  None of us like to feel threatened, scared, intimidated, embarrassed, humiliated.  So treat others like you want to be treated. Remember that everything thing we do in this life has direct and severe consequences.  Karma is a Biotch and is something that you don't want to have come at you in a negative fashion.  Just remember that what comes around goes around.  In either situation whether you are the victim or the bully. Whatever you give out will come back. If you talk about another person in a negative way you are actually cursing the person.  Remember what I told you in my earlier post about the law of attraction?  In the terms of metaphysic energy remember that like energy draws more of the same. Positive positive and negative negative.  Now let me tell you something else that falls in the same category as the above law.  In our physical world we are taught about the law of cause and effect.

Physics teach us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Using this law anything we say or do would put this law into motion.  So if you think or speak something badly about a person you have actually cursed that person and put this law into full action.  What you may not be aware of is this if you put out good into this law you will get three-fold back, but if you put negative or bad out there you get ten-fold back this is the law of cause and effect and karma coming back at you. So please be careful with what you do, what you think, how you act, react and treat others because you are going to reap what you sow, and what comes around goes around.  Karma is an unforgiving mistress and will pay you back in kind when you are least expecting it.

So what have I been trying to tell you...Think before you act, curb your tongue, keep your head down, and if you are in a confrontational situation, do what you have to so you don't physically get hurt.  As soon as you get clear of the situation, let someone know, do something, you don't want someone else having to go through what you just went through. Try to remember as much from the encounter as you can and pass that on to others.

Treat everyone the way you want to be treated, love one another, and smile...You will get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.   If we could all live by this philosophy the world would be a much better and happier place.

As always...let me know what you think and get back to me...

Uncle B