Friday, April 24, 2015

Unresolved feelings can lead to bitterness and resentment

We may have talked about this before, and if we did, I believe that it is time for a refresher.  I went to my psychiatrist this morning and we talked about quite a few items.  One was the fact that I am suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and that I could use some more counseling to help me deal with the issues surrounding that.  I also expressed to her that I had a desire to work on relationships, boundaries, and better interpersonal skills, specifically in the area of being a better judge of character.

During our conversation, we discussed the importance of forgiveness, and the releasing of our inner feelings.  Because none of us is perfect and can never hope to achieve perfection, we have to settle for being just a work in progress.  I mentioned to her that I learned over the past couple of years that forgiveness isn't for the other person it is for us. It gives us a sense of closure and helps us release the feelings that we had been harboring towards that person.  Unresolved feelings that we harbor towards another can lead to resentment, anger and bitterness towards that person.  If you cannot release and let go of what was bothering you, can you honestly move forward?  Can you talk to the person civilly or will there be outburst of some sort?

I have learned over and over again that if you are wanting to change something you have to learn how to release the burdens, problems, pain and anger that might be holding you back.  It is true that we all come with baggage, but how we cope with that baggage determines our ability to move forward.  Remember that you have to let go of the past in order to move forward. Therefore, when you release the past you must release all the pent-up emotions that go with the incident. Yet, once again in order for you to achieve this you have to start with yourself.

All change must start with yourself, forgiveness starts from with-in, and if you don't release the feelings that reside in you at the same time, you could start to get bitter and develop resentment, which left unchecked could turn into hate.  Like I discussed with you in another article bottling up your emotions causes undue stress in your life,   You could blow up at the least little thing and at the wrong person. I also told you that it is impossible to move forward if we hold on to the baggage of the past.  You cannot carry anything new if you have all the old stuff hanging around you.

Let me give you a real life example of what I am trying to explain to you about moving forward. Let's say you are on a date with someone.  If you talk exclusively about your last relationship the person you on a date with probably will think that you aren't over your ex and aren't ready to move on.  See, you haven't let go, or resolved your past, and therefore you cannot move forward, your hands are  still full. Once you can find closure with the trauma of the past, you must still deal with the emotions that thinking about the issues bring up. If you don't you can never move past the place where you are at.

If you learn to let go of the small things and just focus on the big ones you might be able to successfully navigate the treacherous waters of life.  No one said that it was going to be easy, that you wouldn't have to work hard to make it through?  If you worry about every little thing that creeps up in your life you will never have the chance to move forward, and you will soon become frustrated and willing to give up and surrender, and my motto is never give up, never surrender! I also believe that we cherish and adore the things that we had to work the hardest for,

Remember that nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could.  All this means is that without hard work and dedication nothing can be accomplished, because we have to put forth some type of effort in order for you to collect a return.  The formula actually works out like this mathematically effort x work = positive return.

So my dear readers, you must let go of the past to take that step forward, and you must forgive those who have done you wrong and hurt you, you must forgive yourself and gain the closure you need to move on, and release those burdens of the past so that you can receive the new blessings that are coming your way.  Remember you can't move forward with your hands full of your past deeds. Gaining the closure that you need to move on is the hardest thing in the world to achieve, however as I have found if you can forgive yourself and those around you that have caused you the pain, those cares and problems fall away like they never existed.  A feeling of total peace will come over you and you will have the strength you need to move on.

Remember always that my hopes and dreams are with you, so take care of yourself and we will see each other on the flip side.

Uncle B