Last night was one of the worst nights for me. Actually this month has really been bad all the way around. I have someone in my house that is constantly destroying my things. I thought by moving in a roommate the constant fighting would slow down and maybe even stop. In actuality it just seems to have made things so much more complicated. The frustrating part is that there is a part of me that cares about the person, but he doesn't have any respect for me or my things. His habits make the situation that much worse. He likes to pop xanax, but when he combines that with alcohol a fight ends up happening.
Tonight much to my distaste he was given alcohol and he was already under the influence of xanax. Everything was fine till around 3:30 in the morning, I was watching a tv program, it was almost over. He comes out of the bathroom and starts searching around for his weed. He ended up kicking the coffee table and my marble morter and pistal fell on the floor and another piece chipped off. All I said was please watch what your are doing and please don't stop breaking things. This immediately started a fight and now the coffee table is totally destroyed along with many of my glass storage bowls that were sitting on the dining room table.
This arguement became physical and extremely violent, the new roommate was pulled into it and a heated exchange happened between the 3 of us. The police ended up showing up when my roommate left and both me and the other person were talked to about the situation. Because I care and don't like to see anyone put out on the street, but I told him he was going to have to leave. That is when he told me that he wasn't going anywhere and that because he has been here longer than a month there is nothing I can do but go to the courthouse and start the eviction process. Though tonight I learned something new, I could have had him arrested for the destruction of my property. I did not press charges at the tiime and because he told the officers a completely different story and made it out that the fight was between him and my new roommate they wouldn't do even consider it a domestic dispute and take him out of my house.
My roommate came back about an hour later and told me that if I don't do something and have the other person removed from the house that he was going to move out. Now, honestly I explained to him before he ever moved in that I was having these issues and the fights and needed his help in getting the other guy out. Originally, I let the guy stay with me because the other people he was staying with were getting evicted and he didn't have anywhere to go. I told him he could stay for a couple of weeks until he got himself onto his feet and could find somewhere else to go. He refuses to leave, I was evicted from my last home because of him and me constantly fighting and I am very afraid that this is going to happen all over again.
I really wanted to help him, and feelings became involved and we started dating, but things have been on the steady decline since labor day when he destroyed some very expensive things which I am still currently paying for. I told him tonight after everything calmed down that I still want him to move out. I have never been good with confrontations and I don't like that the police had to become involved yet again. This time though I did have it thoroughly documented. I have come as far as I can go. Honestly he is the first person that I have tried to help that has totally and utterly failed in an epic way. All I have ever asked for him to do was either get a job or go to school. Do something to better himself and he has not made any effort to do any of these things.
As hard as it will be, and no matter my personal feelings on this matter enough is enough. I can't deal with living like this any longer. He feels that he can talk to me and treat me any kind of way and I am just supposed to take it. When I try to stand up for myself and my personal belongings he becomes irrate and out of control and ends up causing physical damage to property and personal possessions. I am exhausted, I have had no sleep and I don't need this stress in my life at this point. I have tried to reason with him. To talk to him about his attitude and anger problems, and instead of it getting better the situation has become unbearable. So this morning I am faced with a series of choices and I am going to have to think about myself, I am going to have to be totally selfish, and I am going to have to give back a portion of what he gives to me.
I don't feel like I should have to do this but I have tried asking him to leave and I cannot get him to leave on his own accord. My hands are tied and I honestly cannot afford to continue to replace the things that he breaks or the damage that he has done to the property that I am renting. I am going to have to go to the courthouse this morning and I am going to have to file paperwork to start the eviction process and because of his violent and destructive behavior I feel that with my new cancer diagnosis I am going to have to get a restraining order issued against him. Since he is not on the lease and because my health and wellbeing is at risk I am going to ask the judge to have him removed from my home since he cannot be within a certain distance of me.
I am torn up about this whole situation, and I really am not the kind of person that takes pleasure in doing any of these things, but I shouldn't feel uncomfortable in my own home. I know that I am not a strong person when it comes to things like this, but I have to cut the ties, I don't like being treated this way, and because he will not leave rationally I am left with very few choices at this point.
My friend that I had move in to help me with the bills shouldn't be the one to move out, when the other person does absolutely nothing to contribute to the paying of bills or expenses.
Wish me luck, I feel like such a terrible person, but I guess this too shall pass.
All my hopes and dreams are with you,