It is amazing the things that you can hear when you just sit there and listen. Last evening a friend of mine from the Snellville days contacted me via Facebook. She talked and I listened to what she was willing to share with me. As she was talking she said that a true friend never gives up on another friend. As I lay in the bed I began to think on this and ponder it some more. If you are my friend on Facebook you know that I was unable to sleep last night because my brain seemed to be working in over time. That simple statement tugged at me and pulled at me, so I began to think about my life long friends. The ones that I have had for 30 + years. I analyzed the characters of these friends and their caliber. I wanted to know what made them tick and how we remained friends for so long.
I can honestly say that two of my friends have been through it all with me, the thick, the thin, the boyfriends, the relationships, the moves from Atlanta, to Pennsylvania, to Arlington, back to East Point and so forth. These two people are rare in the fact that if they had not been in my life I would have died a long time ago. One of them gave me inspiration and hope while the other one held my hand and cried with me. Sa'corey knows what I am talking about because he was the one that sat on my bed with me and cried with me when I found out I was HIV + and again when I found out that they were going to have to remove my large intestines. He wiped my tears, held my hand and let me cry on his big shoulders. My friend John pulled my head out of depression and set me straight on the path that I am on now. He looked at me one day shortly after they had removed all the staples from my abdomen and told me that he wanted to know where I was, where was the real Bryan, because the Bryan he was seeing wasn't the person he grew up with. He told me that he admired me and that I had been the type of person that would set their mind to a task and just go out an get it. A person who was confident and sure of what he was doing and wasn't afraid to learn new things.
That night I thought about what he had said and I wondered if he was correct if I had lost a part of me. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that they were both right. Sa'corey told me that I was a strong person and I could face what was happening too me and I would win and beat it. John had pointed out that I was a leader and not a follower, that I had given a part of myself away and that I needed to reclaim it, for if I did I would be able to conquer anything that was thrown at me.. Now you can imagine what my life was like at that time. I had serious doubts about everything, I had seen the specialist in New York and I knew that nothing could be done about my condition. The damage was done when they operated the first time. Dreading and fretting that my life as a gay man was over terrified me and weakened me. But, because of my best friends surrounding me and encouraging me to stay vigilant and strong, because they knew I was going to own this dragon or demon that had attached itself too me.
Upon reflection John was absolutely right I had lost my focus, my drive and my will to survive, and those were the very things I was going to need to rise up and fight this battle. Sa'corey and John saw something in me and knew that God was with me. Sa'corey sat with me the night before my surgery and he told me that there were angels all around me and that the light coming from me was brighter than ever. I knew in that moment just how Love, Blessed and Anointed I was, and I was to learn that I was also favored. I knew in my heart that I was going to make it through the surgery and live, because I knew that God had work for me to do. This is how awesome God is, that surgery that I had in September of 2007 was more extensive and invasive than the first surgery that I had back in 2005, yet I felt no pain. My original surgery the pain was so great that I had to walk around the house for hours to lessen it's grip on me. But I swear to you that I had no pain with this surgery at all. I did however lose a lot of weight and started running a high temperature it got as high as 103.7 and when the fever hit me I was unable to walk.
My mother and her friend literally picked me up and put in the car and drove me to the hospital. Under my staples and abscess had formed and my body was getting weaker and weaker. The doctors were relying on antibiotics, but that wasn't what was needed at all. On the third day of the IV antibiotics the surgeon came in and told me that if something didn't change soon that my body was going to shut down and I would drift to sleep and never wake up. I don't know why I thought that was funny but at that very moment I started to laugh and it was a good laugh it filled my lungs, and bolstered my courage. So I asked the doctor for some hydrogen peroxide and some que-tips because I couldn't stand how crusty and nasty my staples had become. He told the nurse to bring it too me that I couldn't hurt myself that I had already gone septic. She brought me those long wooden que-tips and a small cup full of hydrogen peroxide. She left the room and I set about to start cleaning my wounds and staples. Maybe it was the hands of an angel that guided my hand as I made the first mistake, which turned out to be the proper course of action.
I had started cleaning the middle staples because these were the worst crusted of all of them. Because that was where the initial infection had started and where the puss came from. I dipped the cotton end into the solution and I set out to get all the gunk off of me. If I was going to die then no one was ever going see this. That is when it happened my hand slipped and the cotton end glided across the staple surface and went directly into the wound and when I pulled it out the puss and infections started erupting from my abdomen. I called the nurse who brought me sterile gauze and peroxide. For almost and hour and half that wound drained. The very next morning I woke up feeling great I looked down at my stomach and the infection seemed to have vanished. The doctor came in a bit later and told me that I did what modern medicine couldn't do. I saved my self by accidentally slipping and puncturing the main pocket of infection and as we were cleaning it out my body went on over drive and defeated what was remaining.
Why am I telling you all of this? It is because if I can come through all this adversity and survive so can you. I was born with a fractured skull, my parents were told that I would have brain damage and that I probably would never walk or talk. Well I started talking a little after my first birthday and they haven't been able to shut me up yet. My mother and father will tell you I have never met a stranger, that I look and bring out the good in people. I am very social and love helping others and. of course I love to write and talk. But why the title Do not Surrender? What am I trying to tell you?
My friends whenever someone is told that they have cancer they automatically believe that their life is going to end and they are going to wither away and die. Some of them might, but most will find that the new treatments are not as harsh as the ones I had to take and there is a much higher success rate with the newer drugs. So there is hope . Look I am going lay it out for you straight and to the point. Last year in 2014 I was told that I had 6 terminal illnesses and I had an aneurysm which caused me to need 28 blood transfusions. I also suffered from a severe case of osteomilitis and was almost paralyzed my spinal cord was seriously compromised. Yet, when Grace from physical therapy came in that first day and told me that I was going to be stuck in that chair for the rest of my life. I literally laughed at her like I did the doctor in 2007. Difference this time was some permanent damage, my spinal column has collapsed due to hundreds of microfractures in my thoracic spine. The damage has been confirmed to be between the T5 and the T10 vertebrea. With that being said my rib cage is compressed and I cannot fully expand my lungs because it hurts too bad. Oh and by the way within 2 weeks of her telling me that I would never walk again I carried myself to the gym after training hours and I worked out on the balance bars, I drug my feet along and forced them to work and I was rewarded by being able to walk. Once i left the wheel chair I went to the 2 wheeled walker and had that for about a month or so and then I had the 4 wheeled walker and though I still have the 4 wheeled walker I no longer need it. I walked out of the nursing home using my cane and today I don't have to have any type of device to help me walk at all.
Now I have gone through all of these things to show you that no matter what you are going through or what you have to face that God has got you. You do not need to worry, lay your problems at His feet and walk away leaving them there because He will take care of them. Just keep in mind that our time is not His time. We might begin to panic but remember that God is always on time.
Do not surrender to your illness, do not surrender to depression, do not surrender to peer pressure, and do not surrender to temptation. Remember that God has got you, He has a host of angels that surround you. But, most importantly keep in mind that this too shall pass. No problem is as permanent as the solution.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Showing posts with label accident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accident. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Oh moon shining Bright!
The sky is dark the stars are bright,
but it is the full moon that catches my eye this very night,
fear, emotion and hope are all found in that bright and shining disk in the sky.
Here I sit and ponder the where and whys
I am the only one who can see through the illusions and the lies,
Maybe it is the light that that shines so bright
That takes away the fear and fright,
For I alone know what's going down
I shake my head and frown.
I have warned and have pleaded
But you haven't neither heard nor headed
Comfort and strength are what is needed
In this hour, Oh how I know how your heart has bleeded
Friend so far away
I wish you really knew me today
Maybe then you would have believed my tales
I tied to save your heart from all his childish whims, cries and wails.
Oh moon so bright and shiny
Don't let my friend feel like his heart is small and tiny!
I am here my friend
I made a promise I am your friend and companion till the end
I will wait and watch by the hour
as you wait for him all bitter and sour
Wait and see he will come back to thee
this is his way Please wait and see
He loves you dear
he hides his heart thru drugs because of fear.
In a bit you will find
He is back and loving weak and blind
blind to the pain that he has wrought
but now you know the kind of man you have caught
Don't you ever threaten to end yourself again
because it isn't worth it in the end.
You are a shining star
You know who you are
Stand firm in the dark
be sure to leave your mark
Because the moon is shining bright
everything will come to the light.
I love you man!
-B
but it is the full moon that catches my eye this very night,
fear, emotion and hope are all found in that bright and shining disk in the sky.
Here I sit and ponder the where and whys
I am the only one who can see through the illusions and the lies,
Maybe it is the light that that shines so bright
That takes away the fear and fright,
For I alone know what's going down
I shake my head and frown.
I have warned and have pleaded
But you haven't neither heard nor headed
Comfort and strength are what is needed
In this hour, Oh how I know how your heart has bleeded
Friend so far away
I wish you really knew me today
Maybe then you would have believed my tales
I tied to save your heart from all his childish whims, cries and wails.
Oh moon so bright and shiny
Don't let my friend feel like his heart is small and tiny!
I am here my friend
I made a promise I am your friend and companion till the end
I will wait and watch by the hour
as you wait for him all bitter and sour
Wait and see he will come back to thee
this is his way Please wait and see
He loves you dear
he hides his heart thru drugs because of fear.
In a bit you will find
He is back and loving weak and blind
blind to the pain that he has wrought
but now you know the kind of man you have caught
Don't you ever threaten to end yourself again
because it isn't worth it in the end.
You are a shining star
You know who you are
Stand firm in the dark
be sure to leave your mark
Because the moon is shining bright
everything will come to the light.
I love you man!
-B
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Tragedy in 3 acts makes for an inspirational person
I have been told that my life has been full of blessings and that I am a true inspiration. I agree that I live a very blessed life, but it is because there are hundreds of people keeping me in their thoughts and prayers. I have been approached recently to write a book about my story, and since you are my friends and family, I thought I would share with you what it is going to be about. Now, keep in mind that this is just a taste of what the book is going to contain, so be patient and understanding that you are getting a condensed version and be honored you are getting the first peak.
The title of this entry says it all I have broken my life down into 3 acts or parts, it is from each of these tragedies and triumphs that have shaped and molded me and my outlook on things. It is important I guess to start at the beginning and work my way through each portion of my life and key events that make up the story and the act. So without any more delay we shall begin.
I was born on December 1, 1968 I was a month earlier so I have been told, my mother never made it to the maternity ward before I decided enough was enough and came bursting forth. The delivery started in the elevator on the way to the delivery room. I had started to come fast so they rushed my mom into delivery choosing not to have me drop out on the elevator floor. Unfortunately, the doctor used forceps to deliver me, even though earlier in the year they had been banned as delivery tools. As I said I was in a hurry to go no where, the forceps were used and my skull was fractured. I made no sound when I came into the world and I was blue from head to toe. I am told that my mother never got to see me, I was taken directly to an incubator, and was deemed in critical condition. I was never meant to leave that hospital, but God had other plans. Plans that are still unfolding in my life today.
My parents were told that I was under weight and with the fractured skull I was going to be a vegetable and if by some miracle I wasn't I was going to have severe brain damage and would never be a normal kid. Surprise surprise, God had other plans, because here I a 43 years later writing to you. I shouldn't be able to walk or talk, let alone write and communicate like I do. But God works in mysterious ways and I am here to tell you my story. By the age of five it had become evident that there were no impairments and that I was highly intelligent if a little hyperactive. End of act one!
The second tragedy came when I was 14 years old, I was experiencing severe headaches, blurred vision and having trouble focusing on objects. The doctors told my parents that the muscles that surround the lenses of my eyes were weak and that was causing the vision issues I was having. But that wasn't the end of it. While I was at school playing with some friends I got poked in the eye with a tree branch. Again the doctors were full of doom and gloom and by the age of 18 I was supposed to be totally blind. They covered my right eye with a patch to protect it put me in bifocal glasses and told my parents to hope for the best. Blood filled the injured eye and started showing around the socket of the left eye. So for a period of 4 months I was patched on both eyes and wasn't able to see anything. A neat thing about the body is that it compensates for stuff like that and my hearing became very sensitive and acute I can here a whisper all away across the house. I also learned how to sit in a crowd and listen to everyone's conversations and never move and could identify just by sound who was talking and somehow my mind has developed the ability to process each conversation and follow along all in real time. By the time I was 16 a miracle of miracles happened, my headaches started to subside and it was discovered that the cause of them was never my eye site which improved after the injury to the point I no longer had to wear bifocals just regular glasses. Yet somehow my hearing never returned to normal. I still can hear the lightest sounds. It turns out that the headaches were a direct result of the fractured skull and when the barometric pressure changes the headaches begin. Unfortunately, I still suffer from that today. But I got super hearing out of the deal. End of act two!
I was diagnosed with leukemia and large cell lymphoma when I turned 24 ('92), they found a metastasized tumor in my colon 8" long x 5" wide. It had serrated edges and had ulcerated in the middle. I underwent 2 years of chemotherapy and radiation and the tumor was eradicated. However, during my last round of radiation, the bowel wall perforated and waste and radiation poured into my pelvic area. I got really sick with toxaplasmosis and stayed in the hospital for almost 9 months trying to get better. It wasn't until 13 years later ('05) that I would find out what that radiation was doing to my body. Apparently large sections of my colon died from radiation disease and poisoning and there were several small sections of the small intestine affected as well. In 2005, I was given a colostomy, a bag that helps me to take a dump, sorry for being so graphic. I have had 9 major surgeries since then, found out that my kidney's were failing, that I had contracted HIV an HEP C, that my gallbladder, bladder, pancreas and stomach were all affected by the radiation and that they are slowly giving out. Then on March 5th of this year my colon ruptured in 2 places and I almost died again. When this happened I couldn't get anyone to listen to me, they kept telling me that the pain I was feeling was from the procedure I had done in the morning. Now in my life I have had a million colonoscopy's if I have had one. So I knew that they were wrong in what they were saying. Finally a nurse that no one seems to know who has never worked on that floor and has never been seen again, intervened with the doctor and got a cat scan of my abdomen and the ruptures were discovered. I have tried to find this woman again, I wanted to nominate her for the angel service award they give at the hospital and no one knows who she was.
I believe that God has walked with me through all this, he has carried me when I was too weak to move, and He delivered me from the hands of death just when it looked like I was going to die. After everything that I have been through and there is so much more that I haven't told you. I hope you can begin to see why I don't let the small things get to me, and I always try to look at the bright side of things. Because life is too short, we are not promised a new tomorrow and we need to be thankful for each day that we can draw another breathe. I don't think I am all that inspirational, but I have been told that my strength and faith that keep me fighting are remarkable and inspire others to have hope and faith that they too can make it through the tough, hard and tragic times of their own lives.
I hope that maybe I have inspired just one person, have given hope to one person, and always can live my life as an example that you can overcome illness. That there is life after, HIV and cancer and you can still be a productive and supportive person and help others.
Let me know what you think. This is my real story, and I would love to know if you think that I should take up the offer to write a book about my experiences and if you think anyone will benefit from it.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
The title of this entry says it all I have broken my life down into 3 acts or parts, it is from each of these tragedies and triumphs that have shaped and molded me and my outlook on things. It is important I guess to start at the beginning and work my way through each portion of my life and key events that make up the story and the act. So without any more delay we shall begin.
I was born on December 1, 1968 I was a month earlier so I have been told, my mother never made it to the maternity ward before I decided enough was enough and came bursting forth. The delivery started in the elevator on the way to the delivery room. I had started to come fast so they rushed my mom into delivery choosing not to have me drop out on the elevator floor. Unfortunately, the doctor used forceps to deliver me, even though earlier in the year they had been banned as delivery tools. As I said I was in a hurry to go no where, the forceps were used and my skull was fractured. I made no sound when I came into the world and I was blue from head to toe. I am told that my mother never got to see me, I was taken directly to an incubator, and was deemed in critical condition. I was never meant to leave that hospital, but God had other plans. Plans that are still unfolding in my life today.
My parents were told that I was under weight and with the fractured skull I was going to be a vegetable and if by some miracle I wasn't I was going to have severe brain damage and would never be a normal kid. Surprise surprise, God had other plans, because here I a 43 years later writing to you. I shouldn't be able to walk or talk, let alone write and communicate like I do. But God works in mysterious ways and I am here to tell you my story. By the age of five it had become evident that there were no impairments and that I was highly intelligent if a little hyperactive. End of act one!
The second tragedy came when I was 14 years old, I was experiencing severe headaches, blurred vision and having trouble focusing on objects. The doctors told my parents that the muscles that surround the lenses of my eyes were weak and that was causing the vision issues I was having. But that wasn't the end of it. While I was at school playing with some friends I got poked in the eye with a tree branch. Again the doctors were full of doom and gloom and by the age of 18 I was supposed to be totally blind. They covered my right eye with a patch to protect it put me in bifocal glasses and told my parents to hope for the best. Blood filled the injured eye and started showing around the socket of the left eye. So for a period of 4 months I was patched on both eyes and wasn't able to see anything. A neat thing about the body is that it compensates for stuff like that and my hearing became very sensitive and acute I can here a whisper all away across the house. I also learned how to sit in a crowd and listen to everyone's conversations and never move and could identify just by sound who was talking and somehow my mind has developed the ability to process each conversation and follow along all in real time. By the time I was 16 a miracle of miracles happened, my headaches started to subside and it was discovered that the cause of them was never my eye site which improved after the injury to the point I no longer had to wear bifocals just regular glasses. Yet somehow my hearing never returned to normal. I still can hear the lightest sounds. It turns out that the headaches were a direct result of the fractured skull and when the barometric pressure changes the headaches begin. Unfortunately, I still suffer from that today. But I got super hearing out of the deal. End of act two!
I was diagnosed with leukemia and large cell lymphoma when I turned 24 ('92), they found a metastasized tumor in my colon 8" long x 5" wide. It had serrated edges and had ulcerated in the middle. I underwent 2 years of chemotherapy and radiation and the tumor was eradicated. However, during my last round of radiation, the bowel wall perforated and waste and radiation poured into my pelvic area. I got really sick with toxaplasmosis and stayed in the hospital for almost 9 months trying to get better. It wasn't until 13 years later ('05) that I would find out what that radiation was doing to my body. Apparently large sections of my colon died from radiation disease and poisoning and there were several small sections of the small intestine affected as well. In 2005, I was given a colostomy, a bag that helps me to take a dump, sorry for being so graphic. I have had 9 major surgeries since then, found out that my kidney's were failing, that I had contracted HIV an HEP C, that my gallbladder, bladder, pancreas and stomach were all affected by the radiation and that they are slowly giving out. Then on March 5th of this year my colon ruptured in 2 places and I almost died again. When this happened I couldn't get anyone to listen to me, they kept telling me that the pain I was feeling was from the procedure I had done in the morning. Now in my life I have had a million colonoscopy's if I have had one. So I knew that they were wrong in what they were saying. Finally a nurse that no one seems to know who has never worked on that floor and has never been seen again, intervened with the doctor and got a cat scan of my abdomen and the ruptures were discovered. I have tried to find this woman again, I wanted to nominate her for the angel service award they give at the hospital and no one knows who she was.
I believe that God has walked with me through all this, he has carried me when I was too weak to move, and He delivered me from the hands of death just when it looked like I was going to die. After everything that I have been through and there is so much more that I haven't told you. I hope you can begin to see why I don't let the small things get to me, and I always try to look at the bright side of things. Because life is too short, we are not promised a new tomorrow and we need to be thankful for each day that we can draw another breathe. I don't think I am all that inspirational, but I have been told that my strength and faith that keep me fighting are remarkable and inspire others to have hope and faith that they too can make it through the tough, hard and tragic times of their own lives.
I hope that maybe I have inspired just one person, have given hope to one person, and always can live my life as an example that you can overcome illness. That there is life after, HIV and cancer and you can still be a productive and supportive person and help others.
Let me know what you think. This is my real story, and I would love to know if you think that I should take up the offer to write a book about my experiences and if you think anyone will benefit from it.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Trying to make sense a senseless tragedy
As the aftermath of the senseless shooting in Colorado settles down the media and the rest of us reel trying to make sense of a senseless tragedy. We look for answers to the question, "What could have motivated and educated and smart, young man to do such a thing?" I don't think we are ever going to figure out fully what motivated him or even drove this person do this. I am not sure even he knows, one station said that James Holmes claimed he was the Joker when he was being arrested.
It is hard to imagine an honor's med student, opening up fire in a movie theater and killing 12 people that he didn't know, had no connection with, and then warning police that he had booby trapped his apartment and rigged it to explode when entered. But, this is what we have a real life villain, who died his hair red to match that of the animated and on-screen villain, Joker.
I have even had texts from friends claiming that the movie franchise is cursed, that only death and tragedy follow the series. If that is true thank goodness that this was the third and final installment of this particular dark franchise. Now, the assertion that this franchise is cursed is based on coincidence and I honestly don't think has anything to do with the film at all. The first was Katie Holmes marriage to Tom Cruise ended and she was in the First movie, Heath Ledger who portrayed the Joker in the second movie died of a drug over dose and the third movie twelve unsuspecting people died going to see the movie. These and other rumors and stories are going around the world and the internet today.
It is our societies need to understand and wrap their heads around tragedies like this, our driving need to understand and comprehend why such actions were committed and how we can rationalize and justify all the deaths and murder that have occurred. I honestly don't think that we will ever come to understand the motivations of actions like these. They are violent, senseless, and doesn't seem to be any rationale behind the actions at all. All the questioning of the motives, and asking James Holmes himself, direct and pointed questions are not going to reveal any real information. As I said earlier, I don't believe he even knows or even understands what he has done, let alone will be able to explain his intentions or reasons behind this act. I believe that his mind is trapped somewhere between reality and fantasy, and that he couldn't distinguish his acts from those on the screen. He believed himself to be the villain Joker personified or come to life.
This tragedy could have escalated even further had the police raided his apartment and set off the traps that he had rigged for them. According to the report I read on ABC.Com there was enough explosives in his booby trapped apartment that would have destroyed the building he lived in and severely damaged the other buildings that surround his. More students and faculty at the University would have been killed and hurt, had he not warned the police that his apartment was rigged to explode. Again, I don't know what could have motivated his actions, I don't understand the mind that can rationalize and discard life so easily.
I think it is hard for the rest of us to understand and comprehend his motivations as well. Though we will take the next several days and even weeks trying to sort through this mess, and make sense of the senseless. We may never know the real truth behind this. What was going on in his mind as he committed these acts will forever remain a mystery. Even if he does talk how can we believe and accept what he is saying? There is no sense in the taking a life. There is no rationalization that can justify the behavior that was exhibited, and I don't think any for of punishment will be swift or just enough to handle a crime of this magnitude.
In my mind, this was an act of terrorism, pure and simple evil, unleashing it's deadly and frightening hatred on mankind. It was committed by a hapless, possibly lonely individual, not by a group, or religious faction, it was committed by a smart, educated young man, who quite possibly didn't feel like he fit in anywhere.
My heart goes out to the families of the victims that lost their lives, my prayers are with those injured and in the hospital. I also pray to the Lord for understanding in this matter, and that peace and closure can be granted those that are hurt and grieving because of this. I wish there was some way to understand and make sense of tragedy's like this when they occur, but I don't honestly think that their is ever going to be an true understanding, we might eventually discover the motivations, and infer the rationale used to commit these crimes, and we might even one day piece together a profile for James Holmes like have been done for other serial killers and murders, but I think the true answer lies locked deep within the brain of James Holmes and will never truly be all revealed.
There is no real way for all of America to make sense of this senseless tragedy that took place in Aurora Colorado. Please remember no matter how hard you try to understand why this happened and what could have been done to prevent it...the answer is NOTHING. No one could have known and all that can be done is now being done. I am sorry to say!
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
It is hard to imagine an honor's med student, opening up fire in a movie theater and killing 12 people that he didn't know, had no connection with, and then warning police that he had booby trapped his apartment and rigged it to explode when entered. But, this is what we have a real life villain, who died his hair red to match that of the animated and on-screen villain, Joker.
I have even had texts from friends claiming that the movie franchise is cursed, that only death and tragedy follow the series. If that is true thank goodness that this was the third and final installment of this particular dark franchise. Now, the assertion that this franchise is cursed is based on coincidence and I honestly don't think has anything to do with the film at all. The first was Katie Holmes marriage to Tom Cruise ended and she was in the First movie, Heath Ledger who portrayed the Joker in the second movie died of a drug over dose and the third movie twelve unsuspecting people died going to see the movie. These and other rumors and stories are going around the world and the internet today.
It is our societies need to understand and wrap their heads around tragedies like this, our driving need to understand and comprehend why such actions were committed and how we can rationalize and justify all the deaths and murder that have occurred. I honestly don't think that we will ever come to understand the motivations of actions like these. They are violent, senseless, and doesn't seem to be any rationale behind the actions at all. All the questioning of the motives, and asking James Holmes himself, direct and pointed questions are not going to reveal any real information. As I said earlier, I don't believe he even knows or even understands what he has done, let alone will be able to explain his intentions or reasons behind this act. I believe that his mind is trapped somewhere between reality and fantasy, and that he couldn't distinguish his acts from those on the screen. He believed himself to be the villain Joker personified or come to life.
This tragedy could have escalated even further had the police raided his apartment and set off the traps that he had rigged for them. According to the report I read on ABC.Com there was enough explosives in his booby trapped apartment that would have destroyed the building he lived in and severely damaged the other buildings that surround his. More students and faculty at the University would have been killed and hurt, had he not warned the police that his apartment was rigged to explode. Again, I don't know what could have motivated his actions, I don't understand the mind that can rationalize and discard life so easily.
I think it is hard for the rest of us to understand and comprehend his motivations as well. Though we will take the next several days and even weeks trying to sort through this mess, and make sense of the senseless. We may never know the real truth behind this. What was going on in his mind as he committed these acts will forever remain a mystery. Even if he does talk how can we believe and accept what he is saying? There is no sense in the taking a life. There is no rationalization that can justify the behavior that was exhibited, and I don't think any for of punishment will be swift or just enough to handle a crime of this magnitude.
In my mind, this was an act of terrorism, pure and simple evil, unleashing it's deadly and frightening hatred on mankind. It was committed by a hapless, possibly lonely individual, not by a group, or religious faction, it was committed by a smart, educated young man, who quite possibly didn't feel like he fit in anywhere.
My heart goes out to the families of the victims that lost their lives, my prayers are with those injured and in the hospital. I also pray to the Lord for understanding in this matter, and that peace and closure can be granted those that are hurt and grieving because of this. I wish there was some way to understand and make sense of tragedy's like this when they occur, but I don't honestly think that their is ever going to be an true understanding, we might eventually discover the motivations, and infer the rationale used to commit these crimes, and we might even one day piece together a profile for James Holmes like have been done for other serial killers and murders, but I think the true answer lies locked deep within the brain of James Holmes and will never truly be all revealed.
There is no real way for all of America to make sense of this senseless tragedy that took place in Aurora Colorado. Please remember no matter how hard you try to understand why this happened and what could have been done to prevent it...the answer is NOTHING. No one could have known and all that can be done is now being done. I am sorry to say!
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Friday, July 6, 2012
You do realize that it is all up to you....Right?
Listen, we have been talking about life and the choices that we each make and how those choices and the consequences of them culminate in who we become. But have you really thought about what I have been trying to tell you? Do you realize that it is all up to you? There are always choices to be made and directions we must walk upon, but what you need to understand is that no matter what the situation or the choice that you have to make, it is how you look at the situation that makes the choice you choose so vitally important. This may be a hard for you to understand, but let me try and give you some examples to make it easier to understand. For this we are going to start with the choice I made when buying the scooter and the accident that followed and the hurt that I am going through now.
It would have been very easy for me to bemoan what happened to me and lament about the money lost and wasted on the scooter, and I could wallow in regret and self-pity, but what good would it have done. See, I knew the reasons behind why I bought the scooter even if no one else does, or agrees with them, it was still my decision and one that I feel comfortable with. Now I know that there is extensive damage to it and it might cost me more money to fix the thing then I actually paid for it, but that really doesn't bother me. See I chose to buy it for myself to give myself a little independence and self-reliance, enabling me to get around without having to depend or infringe upon another person. I hate, having to burden someone else to get what I need done, so this was a big step in the right direction for me and something I was comfortable with. I had no idea that I was going to get hit by a car, and I had no idea I was going to break my ankle, and just because those things happened doesn't mean that my decision was wrong.
As I was being carted off from the scene of the accident by ambulance I was joking with the paramedics and firefighters that arrived on the scene. This is my automatic defense mode that I take when I am hurting or when I feel regret or other useless emotions that would serve no better purpose, I make light of the situation and I feel better about what has happened. This has been a defense mechanism in my life since I was a child and it has served me well. One would think that it was just another way of avoidance, but you know what it actually does for me, it helps me look at and focus on the positive things in my life, it gives me the strength to stand in the face of impossible odds and beat them back. I could have looked at the wreck in several ways, and felt differently about it depending how I viewed the situation. But I chose to look at it from the funny point of view, and with my crude sense of humor you can just imagine. I told the paramedics, that after everything I have been through in the past couple of years with the cancer, the HIV, Hep C and Renal Disease and all the other things that are going wrong with my body that if someone was gunning for me and trying to kill me they were sure poor marksman, because they were getting everything around me but not me myself.
How we view a situation is just as important to how we deal with it as the situation itself. Because our perception of the situation and our outlook is going to determine how we feel about it in the long run, and how we are going to handle the fall out and repercussions of the actions we decide to take. Now, my father was against me getting the scooter, but his main argument was that I was never going to use it. Maybe I should have listened, because if I had I wouldn't have gotten hurt. But I believe whatever is meant to be is always going to find a way to happen, so if it wasn't an accident with a scooter, it would have been something else, and I would have still gotten hurt and broken my ankle. Plain and simple it was something that was in my path and something I am going to have to deal with an overcome. Now, the other way to look at this situation can be two-fold, see the Bible teaches that children are to obey their parents, and maybe just maybe I got hurt because I went against my father's wishes. However, I am not really inclined to believe that because my father never came out and said No don't buy it, he just kept saying I think you should reconsider, because I don't think you are ever going to use it.
No matter how the situation played out, I am not angry or disgruntled about the situation and I don't feel like I have wasted my money. I know it is going to cost more to get it fixed back up, and I realize that it wasn't my fault that I was hit by a car that never stopped. I was doing fine and would have been fine without that slight altercation of the cars front connecting with my rear. If you read my other blog entries about advice, you will note that I also learned some valuable lessons about riding a cycle, scooter or other 2 wheeled vehicle. You have to know what you are doing and wear the appropriate attire and foot gear, it is going to make all the difference in the world. I am also looking at this adventure in the light of nothing ventured nothing gained. I still own the scooter and yeah some repairs will have to be made before I can ride it again, but it is something I am willing to do, and if it isn't I still have the option of selling it off for parts. Since I have been injured, broken ankle, there is no rush to get the repairs done and I can take my time and customize it anyway I want to, personalize it if you will and truly make it my own.
Overall, I believe that everyone needs to take a step back from every situation, encounter, or problem and evaluate it, divorce yourself from the emotions evoked by it and really look at it. You need to be open and objective, and find the positive in it. Work your way out from there with a solution and I guaranty you won't go wrong or feel bad about the decision you made. In all things that we have been given by God the most important is "Free Will" the right to choose. Our right to make our own choices, but along with that privileged comes the responsibility of facing the consequences. We have to be strong enough and man enough to know that when we make a mistake we have to pay the piper, just like when we make good choices and decisions we get to reap the reward. All I am wanting you to understand and realize from this blog entry is that if you come at any situation with a positive outlook and unfailing faith you are going to be alright. You are making the right choice for you, and believe it or not, no matter what anyone else says, you are the only one that can do that for you. So can't you see that it does come down to just you. That no matter what you do, how you do, and the path you take to get there, those are all choices you can make for yourself. No one else can make them for you, because if they try it isn't going to work out. You are the only one that knows your heart and mind and can make the perfect decisions for yourself.
Hold your head up high and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is always with you, He has your best interests at heart and He knows what you can handle and can endure and will never allow anything you can't handle to come your way. You have angels all around you day and night watching over you, reporting on you and keeping you safe. Like I said I could have been killed in the accident that happened on Tuesday and the worse that did happen was a broken ankle. I know that I am blessed and protected, and I know that you are too. Have some faith and you will see. You are never tested or tried beyond your endurance. Don't just take my word for it. Try it out you will see, and you can find that and so much more in God's word the Bible.
I hope you all have a great weekend and start looking at the bright side of things, it is going to make accepting them so much easier, and when you can do that you can weather any storm because you have the knowledge that you did what you needed to do to look out for you.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you.
Uncle B
It would have been very easy for me to bemoan what happened to me and lament about the money lost and wasted on the scooter, and I could wallow in regret and self-pity, but what good would it have done. See, I knew the reasons behind why I bought the scooter even if no one else does, or agrees with them, it was still my decision and one that I feel comfortable with. Now I know that there is extensive damage to it and it might cost me more money to fix the thing then I actually paid for it, but that really doesn't bother me. See I chose to buy it for myself to give myself a little independence and self-reliance, enabling me to get around without having to depend or infringe upon another person. I hate, having to burden someone else to get what I need done, so this was a big step in the right direction for me and something I was comfortable with. I had no idea that I was going to get hit by a car, and I had no idea I was going to break my ankle, and just because those things happened doesn't mean that my decision was wrong.
As I was being carted off from the scene of the accident by ambulance I was joking with the paramedics and firefighters that arrived on the scene. This is my automatic defense mode that I take when I am hurting or when I feel regret or other useless emotions that would serve no better purpose, I make light of the situation and I feel better about what has happened. This has been a defense mechanism in my life since I was a child and it has served me well. One would think that it was just another way of avoidance, but you know what it actually does for me, it helps me look at and focus on the positive things in my life, it gives me the strength to stand in the face of impossible odds and beat them back. I could have looked at the wreck in several ways, and felt differently about it depending how I viewed the situation. But I chose to look at it from the funny point of view, and with my crude sense of humor you can just imagine. I told the paramedics, that after everything I have been through in the past couple of years with the cancer, the HIV, Hep C and Renal Disease and all the other things that are going wrong with my body that if someone was gunning for me and trying to kill me they were sure poor marksman, because they were getting everything around me but not me myself.
How we view a situation is just as important to how we deal with it as the situation itself. Because our perception of the situation and our outlook is going to determine how we feel about it in the long run, and how we are going to handle the fall out and repercussions of the actions we decide to take. Now, my father was against me getting the scooter, but his main argument was that I was never going to use it. Maybe I should have listened, because if I had I wouldn't have gotten hurt. But I believe whatever is meant to be is always going to find a way to happen, so if it wasn't an accident with a scooter, it would have been something else, and I would have still gotten hurt and broken my ankle. Plain and simple it was something that was in my path and something I am going to have to deal with an overcome. Now, the other way to look at this situation can be two-fold, see the Bible teaches that children are to obey their parents, and maybe just maybe I got hurt because I went against my father's wishes. However, I am not really inclined to believe that because my father never came out and said No don't buy it, he just kept saying I think you should reconsider, because I don't think you are ever going to use it.
No matter how the situation played out, I am not angry or disgruntled about the situation and I don't feel like I have wasted my money. I know it is going to cost more to get it fixed back up, and I realize that it wasn't my fault that I was hit by a car that never stopped. I was doing fine and would have been fine without that slight altercation of the cars front connecting with my rear. If you read my other blog entries about advice, you will note that I also learned some valuable lessons about riding a cycle, scooter or other 2 wheeled vehicle. You have to know what you are doing and wear the appropriate attire and foot gear, it is going to make all the difference in the world. I am also looking at this adventure in the light of nothing ventured nothing gained. I still own the scooter and yeah some repairs will have to be made before I can ride it again, but it is something I am willing to do, and if it isn't I still have the option of selling it off for parts. Since I have been injured, broken ankle, there is no rush to get the repairs done and I can take my time and customize it anyway I want to, personalize it if you will and truly make it my own.
Overall, I believe that everyone needs to take a step back from every situation, encounter, or problem and evaluate it, divorce yourself from the emotions evoked by it and really look at it. You need to be open and objective, and find the positive in it. Work your way out from there with a solution and I guaranty you won't go wrong or feel bad about the decision you made. In all things that we have been given by God the most important is "Free Will" the right to choose. Our right to make our own choices, but along with that privileged comes the responsibility of facing the consequences. We have to be strong enough and man enough to know that when we make a mistake we have to pay the piper, just like when we make good choices and decisions we get to reap the reward. All I am wanting you to understand and realize from this blog entry is that if you come at any situation with a positive outlook and unfailing faith you are going to be alright. You are making the right choice for you, and believe it or not, no matter what anyone else says, you are the only one that can do that for you. So can't you see that it does come down to just you. That no matter what you do, how you do, and the path you take to get there, those are all choices you can make for yourself. No one else can make them for you, because if they try it isn't going to work out. You are the only one that knows your heart and mind and can make the perfect decisions for yourself.
Hold your head up high and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is always with you, He has your best interests at heart and He knows what you can handle and can endure and will never allow anything you can't handle to come your way. You have angels all around you day and night watching over you, reporting on you and keeping you safe. Like I said I could have been killed in the accident that happened on Tuesday and the worse that did happen was a broken ankle. I know that I am blessed and protected, and I know that you are too. Have some faith and you will see. You are never tested or tried beyond your endurance. Don't just take my word for it. Try it out you will see, and you can find that and so much more in God's word the Bible.
I hope you all have a great weekend and start looking at the bright side of things, it is going to make accepting them so much easier, and when you can do that you can weather any storm because you have the knowledge that you did what you needed to do to look out for you.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you.
Uncle B
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Some Advice, Freely Given...
Yesterday was an eventful day for me, and one that I would like to share with you in a small way. I have a bit of advice that I would like to share with you all, maybe some will heed it, others will ignore it, but all in all I think that it is important for me to say something.
I bought a scooter yesterday, it was a 2008 model and had 3,408 miles on it. I had just paid for the thing and was taking it out for a test run to see how well it worked. Now, keep in mind that I had asked my dad to go with me, he being an experienced motorcycle rider and I being somewhat new to it. However, because he was against me buying it in the first place he wouldn't go. Now, I unfortunately, I have a bad habit of only asking a question 3 times and then I give it up. I really would have liked my dad to come with me, he could have given the scooter a good look over and helped me get it home from where I bought it. But since he wouldn't go so I went on my own, the man was very nice and started it up for me, told me what things he had fixed on it and everything. But I have always been told that you need to drive something when you get it to make sure that it actually works.
Problem is this, since I was a novice it was stupid of me to try. Second, I wasn't wearing the proper footwear or clothing. So when the unexpected happened I was in no way prepared for it. As I pulled out of the parking lot, my thought was to just go a quick round the block and back. Then go get my dad and get the thing home. But here is the thing. I was going along just fine, turned on the side street off the main road and went down to the place where I could make a left turn so I could head back the way I came. I was coming from a complete stop turning right and as I started to go I felt a jolt from the back, not being experienced I only grabbed the front brakes and the next thing I know I was laying in a ditch with the scooter on top of my leg. Now apparently, I had hit the road with my head and shoulder as the bike went sliding across the road dragging me with it. I found my self in the ditch with major amounts of blood all over me. I didn't think I was seriously injured, was waving my hands flagging down an approaching car. I needed help to get the scooter upright and on it's kick stand because I couldn't get it moving on my own. I noticed that the fiberglass body and shell were broken keeping it from moving. Anyhow, a young man on a bike came up while the car and it's passengers were trying to help me. Within 5 minutes there were a lot of people milling around watching what was going on. When the cops got there they asked me what had happened, so I told them what I knew which apparently wasn't much. No one on the scene actually saw what happened and my recollection of the facts seems to have some missing pieces.
It wasn't until the paramedics got me on a backboard and stretcher to take me to the emergency room that I started feeling any pain, disorientation or confusion. I guess that the adrenalin spike in my blood had kept me from noticing anything. When the officer's asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital I said no, but again I didn't know how badly I was hurt. It was hot and I wasn't actually thinking I was pretty badly shaken up and I guess upset at myself because I just bought the damn thing and here it was ruined and probably wrecked beyond repair, though I don't know that for sure, and probably won't have any idea till tomorrow seeing as today is a holiday. As I have said I didn't know how badly I was hurt till I got in the ambulance, and was being whisked away to the hospital. My pulse was 130 and climbing and my blood pressure was on the high side. They kept asking if I was on drugs or if I had been drinking etc, but I wasn't thank God. Now, I am the type of person that takes tragedies and makes light of them. I joke about the things that are serious to me and could cause emotional pain. So while I was laughing and joking with the paramedics I heard them talking about the call in report to 911 by a woman in the neighborhood that I was leaving.
Come to find out, the jolt that I felt from the rear was a young girl driving some sort of white car, she approached the stop sign where I was sitting and apparently didn't even try to brake as I was starting to take off. This would be why as I was turning right me and my scooter were facing the left direction in the ditch, she clipped me so hard it spun me around and tossed me across the road and into the ditch on the opposite side of the road facing the wrong way. Now had I known any of this I would have told the officers on the scene, but I didn't and none of them came to the hospital to talk with me. They didn't even get a copy of my license or anything. So at this point I have a wrecked scooter, I am strapped to a backboard with a neck brace on. You can imagine how uncomfortable that was, now lets not forget that I have 55 staples down my abdomen from recent surgery on June 18th. Well all said and done I have 6 mores staples added to my scalp, and had 2 lacerations on my face that were sealed up using dermabond. My knee and shoulder and part of my back are pretty scraped up and my ankle and foot look like hamburger. Please try to remember that I was up and walking around on the scene of the accident had the guy on the bike help me get the scooter standing upright, and had been helped out of the ditch and was walking to the side of the road when the officers and paramedics arrived. What you haven't found out is that because of the adrenalin in my system I had no idea of how badly I was hurt like I kept telling you. When the doctor finally came in and examined me he touched my left ankle, just barely and the pain flared so intense I thought I was going to pass out and the room started spinning. Yep that is right my ankle is also broken.
So what is the morale of the story? What is the advice I want to give? Well here it is. If you are a novice or new to something don't do try it on your own, make sure that someone is with you and if you get into trouble can help you. Second, put in your wallet an emergency contact phone number, reason for this is I was at the hospital for 6 hours and my cell phone was back in my truck at the scooter place and I had no idea what anyone's number was. I didn't know how to get in touch with my dad or mom or anyone else. Thank goodness that my father has also been a patient at the hospital and they were able to look up his account information and call him for me. Otherwise, I would still be sitting there waiting for someone to come and get me, because the hospital wasn't going to let me go out on my own. More advice too you, if you are trying something new make sure that you are dressed appropriately and wearing the proper shoes. I should never have gotten on the scooter wearing flip flops and had I been wearing proper clothing and shoes the extent of my injuries would have been a lot less. Another thing, if riding a motorcycle or scooter and you are like me a novice at it, take the precaution of wearing a helmet. Had I been wearing a helmet yesterday I wouldn't have hit my head so hard that I had to have the staples on my scalp, and wouldn't have the lacerations where my sun glasses arm broke off and cut my eyebrow from one end to the other, and the abrasions and contusions on my face wouldn't have happened either.
There is no harm in taking the right precautions and doing things the right way, and if you don't know what you are doing take the time to stop and ask someone. Don't end up like now owning a piece of busted up junk and having to deal with the pain of a broken ankle and then trying to figure out if I am going to try and keep the scooter and have it repaired or take the loss and right off the money I paid for it because they are never going to find the girl that hit me and since I didn't have any motorcycle insurance because I just purchased the vehicle it is my total loss and responsibility. However, circumstances would be different if the other party comes forward and admits what happened, then I could get a claim against their insurance.
Heed my words, take things slowly and if you aren't sure about something don't do it, and if someone is being stubborn and obtuse because they don't necessarily like your decision let them know the extent of your discontent with them. Which is what I should have done with my father. I am an adult and I needed his help and expertise but he wanted to act like a child and punish me and here I am hurt and angry and out quite a bit of money.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I bought a scooter yesterday, it was a 2008 model and had 3,408 miles on it. I had just paid for the thing and was taking it out for a test run to see how well it worked. Now, keep in mind that I had asked my dad to go with me, he being an experienced motorcycle rider and I being somewhat new to it. However, because he was against me buying it in the first place he wouldn't go. Now, I unfortunately, I have a bad habit of only asking a question 3 times and then I give it up. I really would have liked my dad to come with me, he could have given the scooter a good look over and helped me get it home from where I bought it. But since he wouldn't go so I went on my own, the man was very nice and started it up for me, told me what things he had fixed on it and everything. But I have always been told that you need to drive something when you get it to make sure that it actually works.
Problem is this, since I was a novice it was stupid of me to try. Second, I wasn't wearing the proper footwear or clothing. So when the unexpected happened I was in no way prepared for it. As I pulled out of the parking lot, my thought was to just go a quick round the block and back. Then go get my dad and get the thing home. But here is the thing. I was going along just fine, turned on the side street off the main road and went down to the place where I could make a left turn so I could head back the way I came. I was coming from a complete stop turning right and as I started to go I felt a jolt from the back, not being experienced I only grabbed the front brakes and the next thing I know I was laying in a ditch with the scooter on top of my leg. Now apparently, I had hit the road with my head and shoulder as the bike went sliding across the road dragging me with it. I found my self in the ditch with major amounts of blood all over me. I didn't think I was seriously injured, was waving my hands flagging down an approaching car. I needed help to get the scooter upright and on it's kick stand because I couldn't get it moving on my own. I noticed that the fiberglass body and shell were broken keeping it from moving. Anyhow, a young man on a bike came up while the car and it's passengers were trying to help me. Within 5 minutes there were a lot of people milling around watching what was going on. When the cops got there they asked me what had happened, so I told them what I knew which apparently wasn't much. No one on the scene actually saw what happened and my recollection of the facts seems to have some missing pieces.
It wasn't until the paramedics got me on a backboard and stretcher to take me to the emergency room that I started feeling any pain, disorientation or confusion. I guess that the adrenalin spike in my blood had kept me from noticing anything. When the officer's asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital I said no, but again I didn't know how badly I was hurt. It was hot and I wasn't actually thinking I was pretty badly shaken up and I guess upset at myself because I just bought the damn thing and here it was ruined and probably wrecked beyond repair, though I don't know that for sure, and probably won't have any idea till tomorrow seeing as today is a holiday. As I have said I didn't know how badly I was hurt till I got in the ambulance, and was being whisked away to the hospital. My pulse was 130 and climbing and my blood pressure was on the high side. They kept asking if I was on drugs or if I had been drinking etc, but I wasn't thank God. Now, I am the type of person that takes tragedies and makes light of them. I joke about the things that are serious to me and could cause emotional pain. So while I was laughing and joking with the paramedics I heard them talking about the call in report to 911 by a woman in the neighborhood that I was leaving.
Come to find out, the jolt that I felt from the rear was a young girl driving some sort of white car, she approached the stop sign where I was sitting and apparently didn't even try to brake as I was starting to take off. This would be why as I was turning right me and my scooter were facing the left direction in the ditch, she clipped me so hard it spun me around and tossed me across the road and into the ditch on the opposite side of the road facing the wrong way. Now had I known any of this I would have told the officers on the scene, but I didn't and none of them came to the hospital to talk with me. They didn't even get a copy of my license or anything. So at this point I have a wrecked scooter, I am strapped to a backboard with a neck brace on. You can imagine how uncomfortable that was, now lets not forget that I have 55 staples down my abdomen from recent surgery on June 18th. Well all said and done I have 6 mores staples added to my scalp, and had 2 lacerations on my face that were sealed up using dermabond. My knee and shoulder and part of my back are pretty scraped up and my ankle and foot look like hamburger. Please try to remember that I was up and walking around on the scene of the accident had the guy on the bike help me get the scooter standing upright, and had been helped out of the ditch and was walking to the side of the road when the officers and paramedics arrived. What you haven't found out is that because of the adrenalin in my system I had no idea of how badly I was hurt like I kept telling you. When the doctor finally came in and examined me he touched my left ankle, just barely and the pain flared so intense I thought I was going to pass out and the room started spinning. Yep that is right my ankle is also broken.
So what is the morale of the story? What is the advice I want to give? Well here it is. If you are a novice or new to something don't do try it on your own, make sure that someone is with you and if you get into trouble can help you. Second, put in your wallet an emergency contact phone number, reason for this is I was at the hospital for 6 hours and my cell phone was back in my truck at the scooter place and I had no idea what anyone's number was. I didn't know how to get in touch with my dad or mom or anyone else. Thank goodness that my father has also been a patient at the hospital and they were able to look up his account information and call him for me. Otherwise, I would still be sitting there waiting for someone to come and get me, because the hospital wasn't going to let me go out on my own. More advice too you, if you are trying something new make sure that you are dressed appropriately and wearing the proper shoes. I should never have gotten on the scooter wearing flip flops and had I been wearing proper clothing and shoes the extent of my injuries would have been a lot less. Another thing, if riding a motorcycle or scooter and you are like me a novice at it, take the precaution of wearing a helmet. Had I been wearing a helmet yesterday I wouldn't have hit my head so hard that I had to have the staples on my scalp, and wouldn't have the lacerations where my sun glasses arm broke off and cut my eyebrow from one end to the other, and the abrasions and contusions on my face wouldn't have happened either.
There is no harm in taking the right precautions and doing things the right way, and if you don't know what you are doing take the time to stop and ask someone. Don't end up like now owning a piece of busted up junk and having to deal with the pain of a broken ankle and then trying to figure out if I am going to try and keep the scooter and have it repaired or take the loss and right off the money I paid for it because they are never going to find the girl that hit me and since I didn't have any motorcycle insurance because I just purchased the vehicle it is my total loss and responsibility. However, circumstances would be different if the other party comes forward and admits what happened, then I could get a claim against their insurance.
Heed my words, take things slowly and if you aren't sure about something don't do it, and if someone is being stubborn and obtuse because they don't necessarily like your decision let them know the extent of your discontent with them. Which is what I should have done with my father. I am an adult and I needed his help and expertise but he wanted to act like a child and punish me and here I am hurt and angry and out quite a bit of money.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
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