HiSometimes you just don't feel well no matter what you do. In the past two months I have spent quite a bit of time in the hospital and even today I am feeling like I should probably be back in the hospital. I cannot swallow food it all seems to get stuck in my throat and I can't seem to swallow anything.
On top of all of this I have an intestinal blockage and I am I am great deal of pain. I just don't know how long I can go o feeling like this all the time. I just know that the journey that I am on it has just begun. If I can't eat or process food fully then maybe there will be that the doctors can do to ease what I am going through.
It is so hard everyday struggling to eat and feel better about myself when all I feel is pain. Nothing goes down easy and even if it does, it doesn't process properly and gets stuck in my bowel track. I hope that this situation is short lived and I can move on from there.
I will be finding out if I have cancer once again in the next day or two. I will also be calling about the back brace that the VA is supposed to be having made for me which should help with some of the pain. Anyhow, I will let you know as things progress further.
Just know that right now I am in between places to live and staying in an extended stay hotel in Daytona, hoping that something in my situation will change. Each day is a struggle there are forces in my life that are pulling me down. I have no idea where to turn at this point.
I guess it is time, I was hoping that something else would change but the current course that things have been going I have to make a decision about my future. For too long I have let everything and everyone go. I am scared of tomorrow but honestly over the past few months I have been trying to make a positive change in my life and yet everything seems to be working against me.
Well, I have this weekend to really evaluate my situation both personal and living. From here it is one hard decision after another. What I do know is that no matter what choices I make are going to have far reaching effects. Not only are they going affect my life but those around me. I don't know where the future is going to lead but I do know that tomorrow is unwritten and will unfold as fate and destiny have planned.
All I know is that I wish that I had my health and stamina. But of course things never really go as we as mortal humans plan.
As always you are in my hopes and dreams.
Uncle B
