Monday, November 23, 2015

Why others lose faith in us

When you show those you love the deepest dark parts of yourself doubt and mistrust creep in. Couple that with lying or betraying those that trust and respect you, can cause them to lose faith in you totally and can send even the strongest souls tumbling in confusion and darkness.  I often talk about being a person with integrity,  strength of character and honor.  These are very likely the traits that have drawn others to you. I am not sure if you remember us talking about how positive attracts positive while negative attracts more negative this fact remains true when dealing with people as well as energy.

A positive outlook on life tends to draw like minded people toward you and they become friends, but the inverse is also true. A negative outlook will cause other negative thinkers into your orbit.  Trust is a very fragile thing and can be broken by the simplest of deeds. While I believe that it is possible to slowly rebuild trust there must be a solid foundation from which to rebuild.  Friendship is the foundation that I am referring to,  it doesn't matter if you are in a romantic relationship or just a friendship trust is earned and built upon.

Lying and deception are the surest ways to destroy the trust you have built with another person.  Words said out of anger can cause wounds that never truly heal. They can be forgiven but the cannot ever be erased. With a foundation of open communication friendships and trust can be built rather quickly, and if the other person really values the friendship /relationship they can come to terms with the betrayal,  however, as I stated once that initial trust has been broken, injured or even destroyed,  it can take an extremely long time for it to be mended, healed and rebuilt.

With trust comes mutual respect and admiration for the other.  The relationship is beneficial and mutual to you both. With each passing day growing stronger, and more resilient.  I try to foster long lasting relationshipswith everyone that I meet, because over time I have learned that each individual that comes into your life has been brought there for a reason.  Maybe you will learn something from them, or maybe you have something to teach them, or even possibly you just need a new shoulder to cry on. No matter what the reason, everyone that comes into your life is there because of a need.

Humans are social creatures and enjoy company of others. The human heart has the greatest capacity for loving and caring for others. You may not know this but you are very capable of loving any number of people, pets or possessions.  The human heart is without equal in its ability to love and be loved.

Caution needs to be heeded because with the capacity to love comes the ability to feel great pain and anguish when you feel that you have been betrayed or your trust has been broken.  It is through the hearts ability to love that we gain the power to forgive. It also allows us to apologize and be sincere in our apologies when we fail to live up to another person's expectation of us.

Now that I have broached once again that another person can have certain expectations that they think that you should live up too. Unfortunately,  expectations are broken all the time and should never be placed on another person.  Having them of yourself is okay. But it truly is unrealistic foe someone to live up to your expectations of them specifically because they are unaware of them. These are things that are not usually discussed the are just feelings that we create because we assume we really know someone else.  But here is the truth of the matter, it is truly impossible to truly get to know someone else,  unless they allow you to.  You can never truly know what another is thinking or planning.  I have been hurt so many times by thinking thatI truly knew someone and was completely blindsided by half truths and hidden agendas and false intentions.

So how do we guard ourselves against those hidden parts of another's mind? In short I have yet to find a short cut or a way to protect myself from these things. Time my friend is the denominator that will reveal all that is hidden. Time is the great equalizer, it can heal bruised feelings, grant time to rebuild lost trust and with open communication and truth being your tools you can get through those snares. Over time a friend will reveal themselves and show that they are truly someone that you can rely upon.

I really hope that this helps you out there,  I am learning these lessons daily the hard way. Feel free to talk to your friends and partners. Let them know that they shouldn't be afraid to tell you anything and be sure to talk about everything.   Remember always that things done in the dark always come to light.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you.

Uncle B