You don't know how many times I shake my head in disbelief as I let opportunity and change slip through my fingers. Now, today I am sitting here thinking about timing and just how important it really is in our lives. How many times have you missed opportunities or relationships because your time is not the same as the other persons? I know that this has happened too me so many times in my life and I have grown accustomed to settling for what has been left once that moment has passed. I couldn't have imagined a year ago that I would be a this place in my life, relying on others for help, rides and favors. Even if I had, there have been so many things that I could have done had I just been careful and aware of my timing.
Today, I tried to get a dentist appointment rescheduled for several reasons, one because I have just gotten out of the hospital, two I really don't have transportation necessary to get to the appointment and three that asking my father for a ride has become very difficult. When I called the dentist she told me that because funding was about to go away at the end of the month this appointment was really necessary if I wanted to get the work done that I need and have been approved for. Once again that thing called timing.
I was speaking to an ex last night who has remained a very close friend of mine ever since we broke up. He is moving to Philadelphia over the weekend and it troubled me. See, I had come from Atlanta because my health was bottoming out and everyone thought that I was going to die. But, when I got here I got better and pushed myself to get up on my feet and on my own. I asked him then to come to Florida and begin again, but he wasn't really ready, and he kept putting it off. Nearly two years went by and he finally had made a decision that it was time for him to change and get away from Atlanta, I had just gone through a very tough break up and ended up loosing my place to stay at this exact same time. I thought we could figure it out and get a place together, but my health became a huge issue. It had been the start of the osteomylitis and the fracturing of my spine, and because I was back home at my parents house and had no place for him he ended up leaving and going to Jacksonville. I ended up in a nursing home and then bounced around till I finally landed where I am at. Our timing still way off from each other. As I am writing this and thinking about what I am going through now, I wish things were different. I really wanted him to come down here and at least be here while I go through these difficult health issues, but in a way that is totally unfair to him. I need to do it for myself and maybe by myself.
I think about things that are going on in my daily life and I am not happy, I know that the person who is living with me is just here maybe in a way because he wants to be, but also due to circumstances and that isn't anyway to go forward. I do dread being alone and being isolated. In all honestly I have never lived alone before and I am not sure that I even know how. I know that I need to sit down and talk with the person who is living with me now and changes need to happen. But I am not sure what I really want nor do I have any real clue what he wants. I just know that because of the tumor, life is going to get very difficult for me all over again. I am not the most trusting soul in the world and I have pretty much no friends here in the Daytona Beach area.
Some people have uncanny timing and seem to glide through life effortlessly, I know that it is all a matter of perspective, but things seem to happen naturally for them. I seem to never see the big picture until the time to act has passed. In love and in life timing makes a big difference and impacts our daily lives in entirely different ways. If you connect with some and they with you I suggest that no matter what is going on in your life, world or existence you owe it to yourself and them to explore it to the fullest. Life is short and you don't want to live with regrets. Take stock of your situation and reach out to those you hold dear, and let them know it. Don't use the excuse that the time is just not right, because if you don't act at that moment you may have lost it forever. I am a big believer that we can create perfect moments for ourselves so we need use that ability to our advantage.
I can still remember when Bobby and I first met, we had just gotten off the train and were waiting for a bus to pull in to the station and take us where we needed to go. We hit it off, found out that we had mutual likes and a definite attraction for one another. He was homeless and I was just about to lose the place that I was living in, despite everything we managed to come together. He kept telling me that he wasn't ready for a relationship that he had nothing to offer. But the truth was we had one another and that was enough. Somehow we made it work and were together for 6 months or so before we let petty things get in the way such as drugs, addiction and a host of other things. Since, that time we have never gotten back in sync and it seems that maybe our time will not ever come again. Since, I am staying in Florida at least for a while and he is off to Pennsylvania at the beginning of the week. Yet, somehow I have don't believe that never is an option, and I know that we will always be close friends.
I have to admit that I am lost right now, drifting on the waves of uncertainty and I don't know what to do to get my head on right. Friends keep moving away or even dying and I wish that I had some people closer to me and who I could possibly talk to about the way that I am feeling, but unfortunately I don't. So I am at the hands of fate right now as I await the results of the biopsies and wonder which way I should look or turn too. I have been in this location for 6 months and I am not happy, I feel isolated, lonely and afraid. Where do I go? Where should I turn? I know that I am truly never alone that God is with me and has me in His hands but I spent much of the day home alone and been thinking and I know that change has got to come. Though my days of adventure might be over for now, what should I do?
Any ideas? Let me know,
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Showing posts with label lonely. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lonely. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Gay Relationship are hard enough add distance to it and you got a mess
Now for those of my readers who are gay, you know that I am serious when I say that gay relationships are hard as it is. But, when you add a long distance romance into the mix you can imagine how difficult that can be. You often wonder what is happening on the other end. Mainly because you feel dissociated, that personal connection you have with your partner is strained to the max. Further, you have to have absolute trust in your partner. Even the slightest doubt can cause major insecurities to blossom. Further, as the miles and distance are major factors, you may also find yourselves faced with different time zones and other such impediments that at home relationships don't have to face.
There is also the longing and loneliness that you have to contend with, there is a yearning to be with that person and though it is impossible you try to think up ways of keeping the communication lines open. You may try video chatting, messaging on Facebook, texting via cellphone, calling and a myriad of other methods to try to whittle the distance down. I speak from personal experience, I am on a different time zone from my partner, and because of his medical condition and career, we are often unable to communicate. It kills me when I don't hear from him for days on end. I found out today that the reason why I haven't heard from him since Saturday was because he is sick and in a lot of pain.
The good thing about my relationship is that I don't have to worry about him cheating, because we have already been down that road. We have had are party days and fooled around with a lot of people. I know for me that my health will not allow me to do that anymore, even if I wanted too. Further, I know that he isn't interested in anyone other than me. We both have been through an abusive relationship and won't tolerate letting ourselves get back into that type of situation. Plus, our time together has made us stronger. We talk about everything and every decision. This is the key to any type of relationship. As I have said before in my article about how to make any relationship work, you have to be flexible and have open lines of communication. It is imperative that everything you do that affects your life you share with those you love and care about. What I would love to tell you that as with pain and hurt that time makes it easier. But the truth is that in a long distance relationship time makes it harder to deal with. More and more feelings of dissociation and loneliness creep in.
I would ask you to ask yourself what could you do to bring the too of you closer, and I would challenge you to try and make it happen. Make yourself and your partner happy, close the distance and start over, because I am going to tell you that if you are separated any length of time you are going to have to start over, relearn everything about each other. In doing so you need to keep an open mind and be flexible to change. As in my case I know that illness is what ended up separating us, and it is what is going to pull us back together. I know we have discussed me coming to where he is at, and then again we have talked about him coming to where I am at. Which ever way it finally works out is going to be a blessing, because the truth of the matter is we really need each other. We feed off each other and we are actually the opposite of one another. In other words if we were a circle we would each be a half and when combined we would be a whole.
I have been feeling so lost and alone because I feel like a big part of me is missing. I had fantasies of others and thought that I would explore other options, until the day that my partner and I finally started comparing notes and we realized that we really did love each other and didn't want to have anyone else our lives. I am so very glad that he is in my life. Even though we left Atlanta last year each of us going in separate directions we never truly ended the relationships that we had. So we decided that we were going to build on it and make it work even over the distances that separate us.
My hope is that if you are in a relationship, whether straight or gay, that you keep an open line of communication and endeavor to keep an open mind, stay flexible and open to change. This will make being in a relationship that much easier. Be willing to give 100 percent of yourself and demand a 100 percent in return. Keep in mind that you have to be willing to accept that no one is perfect...remember that in true love you accept the other person for who they are, all of them as a whole. A complete package, the good the bad and the indifferent. Long distance relationships are even tougher, but again I think that the key is talking and having an open communication line.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
There is also the longing and loneliness that you have to contend with, there is a yearning to be with that person and though it is impossible you try to think up ways of keeping the communication lines open. You may try video chatting, messaging on Facebook, texting via cellphone, calling and a myriad of other methods to try to whittle the distance down. I speak from personal experience, I am on a different time zone from my partner, and because of his medical condition and career, we are often unable to communicate. It kills me when I don't hear from him for days on end. I found out today that the reason why I haven't heard from him since Saturday was because he is sick and in a lot of pain.
The good thing about my relationship is that I don't have to worry about him cheating, because we have already been down that road. We have had are party days and fooled around with a lot of people. I know for me that my health will not allow me to do that anymore, even if I wanted too. Further, I know that he isn't interested in anyone other than me. We both have been through an abusive relationship and won't tolerate letting ourselves get back into that type of situation. Plus, our time together has made us stronger. We talk about everything and every decision. This is the key to any type of relationship. As I have said before in my article about how to make any relationship work, you have to be flexible and have open lines of communication. It is imperative that everything you do that affects your life you share with those you love and care about. What I would love to tell you that as with pain and hurt that time makes it easier. But the truth is that in a long distance relationship time makes it harder to deal with. More and more feelings of dissociation and loneliness creep in.
I would ask you to ask yourself what could you do to bring the too of you closer, and I would challenge you to try and make it happen. Make yourself and your partner happy, close the distance and start over, because I am going to tell you that if you are separated any length of time you are going to have to start over, relearn everything about each other. In doing so you need to keep an open mind and be flexible to change. As in my case I know that illness is what ended up separating us, and it is what is going to pull us back together. I know we have discussed me coming to where he is at, and then again we have talked about him coming to where I am at. Which ever way it finally works out is going to be a blessing, because the truth of the matter is we really need each other. We feed off each other and we are actually the opposite of one another. In other words if we were a circle we would each be a half and when combined we would be a whole.
I have been feeling so lost and alone because I feel like a big part of me is missing. I had fantasies of others and thought that I would explore other options, until the day that my partner and I finally started comparing notes and we realized that we really did love each other and didn't want to have anyone else our lives. I am so very glad that he is in my life. Even though we left Atlanta last year each of us going in separate directions we never truly ended the relationships that we had. So we decided that we were going to build on it and make it work even over the distances that separate us.
My hope is that if you are in a relationship, whether straight or gay, that you keep an open line of communication and endeavor to keep an open mind, stay flexible and open to change. This will make being in a relationship that much easier. Be willing to give 100 percent of yourself and demand a 100 percent in return. Keep in mind that you have to be willing to accept that no one is perfect...remember that in true love you accept the other person for who they are, all of them as a whole. A complete package, the good the bad and the indifferent. Long distance relationships are even tougher, but again I think that the key is talking and having an open communication line.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Friday, May 11, 2012
If we are such an enlightened society, why is there so much hatred and intolerance today?
This topic is an easy one! You see I have seen first hand and have experienced the hatred, bigotry and intolerance that society and religion have towards individuals that are different. People who don't fit into the accepted social norm constantly find themselves the subject of ridicule, persecution, and hated. It starts early and is promoted and fostered in the United States through the public school systems. Some of us try to hide through-out our school years, we long to get to college where things will be different, we yearn to go up and be an adult so we don't have to feel ashamed, lonely, ridiculed and other ridiculous notions. Some of us persevere through this and somehow pull through, others conform and fall into sync with the pressure of their peers. Then again if you are me you make the best out of the situation and you reach out of your personal shell and start making friends and changing perceptions.
I was fortunate when I moved to Florida, my parents moved to a small town near Orlando, called Winter Park which is a small town about 5 miles outside of downtown Orlando, it is a place that is well known for old money, big houses, huge golf courses and country clubs. Just, to give you a little more background and some insight to who I am and where I came from I will give you a brief history of myself and then go into how I made it through and where these nasty society norms came from and how they are perpetuated in today's society. I was born in a small town outside of Philadelphia, my father came from a nominal background where his mother raised him and 8 other siblings on a widows pension. My mother on the other hand came from a more privileged background whose parents saved, invested and had money. Mom came from a smaller family where her and her sister were 15 years older than their little brother who is actually only 7 years older than myself. Okay now that you know these simple facts, my father got a job in the electronics field selling different types of computerized equipment and when I was 7 years old we left this small town and moved to Beaumont Texas. Now back then Beaumont wasn't the town that it is today, it was a very small town 45 minutes away from Houston and seemed so far removed from society it was just like living in Pennsylvania, however today it is a huge developed community that is now considered part of Houston. We were only there for 2 years when my father was transferred to Baton Rouge Louisiana, being the capital of Louisiana this was the first major city I lived in. Again we were only there for 2 years before we were moved once again by my fathers work to Orlando Florida where we settled. But, one of the reasons I was able to adapt and fit in with my changing environments was that I was used to moving around and I was an avid reader and music listener. In other words I had built myself a shell and was firmly entrenched inside it so when we moved no matter where I was I had my music and my books. When we bought the house in Winter Park I had met 2 of the kids in the neighborhood that lived really close to me, one lived on the other side of my next door neighbor and the other lived 2 doors down from him. So by the time school started 3 weeks later, I at least knew 2 people.
Again, as I stated before I was fortunate, and for another reason other than having experience from moving around. The first day of school the bus driver assigned us seats, she thought this would keep down trouble and instill order on the bus. In theory, I guess it worked a bit like that, however, it put me sharing a seat with a person who would become my best friend and the most influential person in my life. His name was John Hope, and he broke me out of my shell turned me from an introvert to an extrovert, I went from being invisible to being one of the most visible and memorable people in both middle school and high school. John went on to be a stand up comedian and shared his warmth and laughter with the world. I went on to join the Navy and then on to become a scholar and teacher and specialist in technology and many other things. My mother once told me that I was the highest educated most unemployable person she knew. At the time I found this funny, now I realize that maybe she was right in some ways. But let me just tell you this and then we will move further into what I have to say. I came from a very large high school, I was considered one of the smart kids, I was labelled a teachers pet, but I also overcame all of this to be one of the most memorable members of the graduating class. I had big chunky glasses and hair that had a mind of its own and strange. Yet, I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I had friends that were popular both and accepted but I also had friends in every other circle and click in the school. I had become a social butterfly and that would remain part of my nature my entire life. I was part of every group, accepted by the jocks, the cheerleaders, the nerds, the socially unacceptable and the punkers, the bad boys and every other group. Believe it or not I was liked and remembered by each and everyone and believe it or not you will find almost everyone in my graduating class in my friends list on Facebook.
But, what has all of this to do with hatred and intolerance in today's society? Well, I wanted to give you my background and show you that anyone can get past these things and survive peer pressure. That anyone can make it through the name calling, ridicule and prejudices of peers and society and can use those same things that once made them an outsider and make them an insider accepted and remembered by those they interacted with growing up and through the rest of their lives. Along my journey I have had the opportunity to study first hand many of the world's religions and experience first hand societies views on these views and sort through them, change perspectives and undo some of the damage they have done to people around me. You see the problem with our society comes from what I term as Organized Religion. This is any denomination that boasts and claims to practice Christianity. Now, do not get me wrong I was raised in the Church and I understand and believe the tenants that were instilled in me from childhood, but I have seen firsthand the flaws, and by having the experience while I was in the Navy to learn and view other religions of the world I was able to sort out and piece together my own eclectic view of Spirituality and embark on my own path toward enlightenment.
See, it is my firm believe that religion is man's attempt to reach God and to explain those things that they do not understand and cannot quantify by science. They label it divine or attribute aspect of it toward a religious significance. However, true Christianity or Spiritualism is God's attempt to reach man. However, Christianity and organized religion somehow got off the path as preached and specified by Jesus himself. Jesus preached acceptance and love, to honor and obey and to be fishers of men. However, the church itself maintains and tries to enforce the 10 commandments, they cling to the old testament and miss the entire message of what Jesus was trying to tell the world. Now, there is a reason why the churches and those of what I call organize religion cling and stick with the past and the old testament and it is plain to anyone who dares to remove their blinders and look with an open mind at the hierarchy and structure of the church today. The old testament tells us about the casting out from the garden of eden, the subsequent enslavement of the people of Isreal and Moses dramatic leading of his people out of bondage from Egypt and delivering them to the gates of the promised land. It also tells us where the 10 commandments came from and where they were delivered to Moses. But for those of us who opened our eyes and see what had come about we begin to see why the commandments were necessary and how they molded and continue to influence and shape society at large today. You see Moses had 12 tribes that were following him as they fled the pharoah and his armies, they were fractious groups and tended toward squabbling and when Moses's back was turned easily reverted to idol worship and turning away from God. Therefore, the 10 Commandments were given to Moses to govern and rule the people, the early chapters of the Bible such as Exodus and Leviticus and Lamentations talks about the penalties and consequences of breaking these commandments and other religious views as dictated by the Levi's or the High Priests of the time.
So by telling you all of this what am I trying to tell you, every war that has been fought has been fought over the desire for an object, place, thing or difference, and cloaked under the guise of religion. But the truth of the matter, is that religion was developed and perfected as a means to control the masses, to accumulate wealth and essentially to force society into a habit for living under the commandments and the fear of what happened to society if these commandment were broken. This is known as salvation through the Law. But, in the New Testament it was foretold that the covenant of the law or the covenant of Moses would be broken and salvation would be granted to us by Grace through the belief in Jesus. Jesus like I said had a much more basic and humanistic message that spoke of love and acceptance. Preaching to the common man and reaching out to the lost and disheartened. So why has the church not clung to that teaching, why do they cling to the old testament and the rigid structure of the past? Why are there denominations, why do Preachers and evangelist today speak out against those that don't believe as they do? Why do they preach and teach that if you think and believe different from their views and that of their doctrine that you are going to perish and not make it to Heaven? It is because if they let go of the old testament and embrace the tenants and teachings of Jesus, then they loose control of the masses, their coffers and collection plates would be less and they couldn't force and influence the tides of change and societal whims. So what is all of this saying? It is pointing out that today organized religion has become as corrupt and damaged as it once was in Jesus time, remember that Jesus spoke out against the Church leaders of the times the Sadducees and the Pharisees. He cast out the money lenders in the temple and markets. He dared to change the tenants of the day and speak out against the establishment. He called each of us to do the same. He demanded and we go out and show love, acceptance, tolerance, obedience and compassion to one another and our fellow man.
Yet, here we are 2000 years later, and wars are still being fought, hatred, bigotry and intolerance are still prevalent in a society that is supposed to embrace and accept difference. Our nation was founded on the belief that each individual should have the right to choose and the freedom of choice to believe and follow the religion of their choice. Our forefathers, had the foresight and vision to actually inscribe these things in our founding document the Constitution but look at where we are at. Have we come any further in the 2000 years since Christ to where we are today? Not really! Honestly, if you view organized religion with an open mind you will see what I am saying and can understand that change needs to take place or we are doomed to continue in the same vein as we have for centuries, there will still be greed, war, hatred intolerance and bigotry, there will always be outcasts and societal norms that are influenced and dictated by the church upon the populace, Unfortunately, our forefathers saw that this trend was happening and had the vision to see that inherent danger and tried to ensure that the church wouldn't dictate politics and influence the government. Unfortunately, the separation of church and state which is supposed to be guaranteed and society protected by its inscription in the Constitution has successfully been circumvented and subsequently rendered effective by the advent of lobbying in our government. Ultra-conservatives and right-wing political group and fundamentalist church spend millions of dollars to influence and dictate legislature in our government today. These laws, that are passed, the teachings that the church espouses all play into what becomes know as societal norms and dictates what is acceptable and what is not.
Why I have written all of this and what I want you to walk away from reading this with is the concept and the seed that individualism is good, acceptance is key, leadership is needed and it okay to march to the beat of your own drum. I want you to live your life as you feel inclined too. I want you to live outside of what society decides is the norm. If you can achieve this you will be free from the guilt and remorse that is inflicted by society, church and our own inner beliefs. You will no longer be concerned with how others see you and what they think about you. You will become a leader, you will be a positive influence on others around you and will continue to touch and bless those lives that you come in contact with. Even, if you don't believe in the Bible or the teaching of Christ, if you believe in another religion or creed. If you embrace love, kindness, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, you will find that compassion for your fellow man, and society and the world will become a much better place.
So in summary, why is there so much hatred and intolerance in our enlightened society? Is simply this Religion...man's attempt to reach God and the institution that it built up and created, Where is the solution in the true belief in the essential teachings of what I will call Spirituality or true Christianity...which is God's attempt to reach man and bridge the gap created by Original Sin as written in the old testament. Jesus's teaching of love, acceptance and so forth are the true answer to enduring peace, freedom, and world where differences are celebrated and embraced instead of ridiculed and discriminated against. If only we all could learn the simplest of these things you would see greater advancement in all things because the things which make us different are also the things that when brought together lead to development, creation, and invention. Please release your belief on the old and embrace the new and celebrate living through the joy of love and compassion. Add a sprinkle of laughter into the mix and you will see that pain, illness, will quickly dissolve and your consciousness and mind will be free from constraints and the world will become your oyster and the blessings of the Spirit will be bestowed upon you. Or better yet they will become more evident in your daily life and walk. Each of us are blessed continually and when we open our eyes and take the blinders of prejudice off we cannot see them or properly receive them.
As always I look for your comments and your thoughts on this and any other subject. I want to hear from you and hope that you will join my blog as a follower. It is easy to do, just click on the +1 button on the right hand side just under my profile to join and be a follower. You can also write to me at bryanzepp@gmail.com and visit me on Facebook www.facebook.com/bryan_zepp2
All my hopes and dreams,
Uncle B
I was fortunate when I moved to Florida, my parents moved to a small town near Orlando, called Winter Park which is a small town about 5 miles outside of downtown Orlando, it is a place that is well known for old money, big houses, huge golf courses and country clubs. Just, to give you a little more background and some insight to who I am and where I came from I will give you a brief history of myself and then go into how I made it through and where these nasty society norms came from and how they are perpetuated in today's society. I was born in a small town outside of Philadelphia, my father came from a nominal background where his mother raised him and 8 other siblings on a widows pension. My mother on the other hand came from a more privileged background whose parents saved, invested and had money. Mom came from a smaller family where her and her sister were 15 years older than their little brother who is actually only 7 years older than myself. Okay now that you know these simple facts, my father got a job in the electronics field selling different types of computerized equipment and when I was 7 years old we left this small town and moved to Beaumont Texas. Now back then Beaumont wasn't the town that it is today, it was a very small town 45 minutes away from Houston and seemed so far removed from society it was just like living in Pennsylvania, however today it is a huge developed community that is now considered part of Houston. We were only there for 2 years when my father was transferred to Baton Rouge Louisiana, being the capital of Louisiana this was the first major city I lived in. Again we were only there for 2 years before we were moved once again by my fathers work to Orlando Florida where we settled. But, one of the reasons I was able to adapt and fit in with my changing environments was that I was used to moving around and I was an avid reader and music listener. In other words I had built myself a shell and was firmly entrenched inside it so when we moved no matter where I was I had my music and my books. When we bought the house in Winter Park I had met 2 of the kids in the neighborhood that lived really close to me, one lived on the other side of my next door neighbor and the other lived 2 doors down from him. So by the time school started 3 weeks later, I at least knew 2 people.
Again, as I stated before I was fortunate, and for another reason other than having experience from moving around. The first day of school the bus driver assigned us seats, she thought this would keep down trouble and instill order on the bus. In theory, I guess it worked a bit like that, however, it put me sharing a seat with a person who would become my best friend and the most influential person in my life. His name was John Hope, and he broke me out of my shell turned me from an introvert to an extrovert, I went from being invisible to being one of the most visible and memorable people in both middle school and high school. John went on to be a stand up comedian and shared his warmth and laughter with the world. I went on to join the Navy and then on to become a scholar and teacher and specialist in technology and many other things. My mother once told me that I was the highest educated most unemployable person she knew. At the time I found this funny, now I realize that maybe she was right in some ways. But let me just tell you this and then we will move further into what I have to say. I came from a very large high school, I was considered one of the smart kids, I was labelled a teachers pet, but I also overcame all of this to be one of the most memorable members of the graduating class. I had big chunky glasses and hair that had a mind of its own and strange. Yet, I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I had friends that were popular both and accepted but I also had friends in every other circle and click in the school. I had become a social butterfly and that would remain part of my nature my entire life. I was part of every group, accepted by the jocks, the cheerleaders, the nerds, the socially unacceptable and the punkers, the bad boys and every other group. Believe it or not I was liked and remembered by each and everyone and believe it or not you will find almost everyone in my graduating class in my friends list on Facebook.
But, what has all of this to do with hatred and intolerance in today's society? Well, I wanted to give you my background and show you that anyone can get past these things and survive peer pressure. That anyone can make it through the name calling, ridicule and prejudices of peers and society and can use those same things that once made them an outsider and make them an insider accepted and remembered by those they interacted with growing up and through the rest of their lives. Along my journey I have had the opportunity to study first hand many of the world's religions and experience first hand societies views on these views and sort through them, change perspectives and undo some of the damage they have done to people around me. You see the problem with our society comes from what I term as Organized Religion. This is any denomination that boasts and claims to practice Christianity. Now, do not get me wrong I was raised in the Church and I understand and believe the tenants that were instilled in me from childhood, but I have seen firsthand the flaws, and by having the experience while I was in the Navy to learn and view other religions of the world I was able to sort out and piece together my own eclectic view of Spirituality and embark on my own path toward enlightenment.
See, it is my firm believe that religion is man's attempt to reach God and to explain those things that they do not understand and cannot quantify by science. They label it divine or attribute aspect of it toward a religious significance. However, true Christianity or Spiritualism is God's attempt to reach man. However, Christianity and organized religion somehow got off the path as preached and specified by Jesus himself. Jesus preached acceptance and love, to honor and obey and to be fishers of men. However, the church itself maintains and tries to enforce the 10 commandments, they cling to the old testament and miss the entire message of what Jesus was trying to tell the world. Now, there is a reason why the churches and those of what I call organize religion cling and stick with the past and the old testament and it is plain to anyone who dares to remove their blinders and look with an open mind at the hierarchy and structure of the church today. The old testament tells us about the casting out from the garden of eden, the subsequent enslavement of the people of Isreal and Moses dramatic leading of his people out of bondage from Egypt and delivering them to the gates of the promised land. It also tells us where the 10 commandments came from and where they were delivered to Moses. But for those of us who opened our eyes and see what had come about we begin to see why the commandments were necessary and how they molded and continue to influence and shape society at large today. You see Moses had 12 tribes that were following him as they fled the pharoah and his armies, they were fractious groups and tended toward squabbling and when Moses's back was turned easily reverted to idol worship and turning away from God. Therefore, the 10 Commandments were given to Moses to govern and rule the people, the early chapters of the Bible such as Exodus and Leviticus and Lamentations talks about the penalties and consequences of breaking these commandments and other religious views as dictated by the Levi's or the High Priests of the time.
So by telling you all of this what am I trying to tell you, every war that has been fought has been fought over the desire for an object, place, thing or difference, and cloaked under the guise of religion. But the truth of the matter, is that religion was developed and perfected as a means to control the masses, to accumulate wealth and essentially to force society into a habit for living under the commandments and the fear of what happened to society if these commandment were broken. This is known as salvation through the Law. But, in the New Testament it was foretold that the covenant of the law or the covenant of Moses would be broken and salvation would be granted to us by Grace through the belief in Jesus. Jesus like I said had a much more basic and humanistic message that spoke of love and acceptance. Preaching to the common man and reaching out to the lost and disheartened. So why has the church not clung to that teaching, why do they cling to the old testament and the rigid structure of the past? Why are there denominations, why do Preachers and evangelist today speak out against those that don't believe as they do? Why do they preach and teach that if you think and believe different from their views and that of their doctrine that you are going to perish and not make it to Heaven? It is because if they let go of the old testament and embrace the tenants and teachings of Jesus, then they loose control of the masses, their coffers and collection plates would be less and they couldn't force and influence the tides of change and societal whims. So what is all of this saying? It is pointing out that today organized religion has become as corrupt and damaged as it once was in Jesus time, remember that Jesus spoke out against the Church leaders of the times the Sadducees and the Pharisees. He cast out the money lenders in the temple and markets. He dared to change the tenants of the day and speak out against the establishment. He called each of us to do the same. He demanded and we go out and show love, acceptance, tolerance, obedience and compassion to one another and our fellow man.
Yet, here we are 2000 years later, and wars are still being fought, hatred, bigotry and intolerance are still prevalent in a society that is supposed to embrace and accept difference. Our nation was founded on the belief that each individual should have the right to choose and the freedom of choice to believe and follow the religion of their choice. Our forefathers, had the foresight and vision to actually inscribe these things in our founding document the Constitution but look at where we are at. Have we come any further in the 2000 years since Christ to where we are today? Not really! Honestly, if you view organized religion with an open mind you will see what I am saying and can understand that change needs to take place or we are doomed to continue in the same vein as we have for centuries, there will still be greed, war, hatred intolerance and bigotry, there will always be outcasts and societal norms that are influenced and dictated by the church upon the populace, Unfortunately, our forefathers saw that this trend was happening and had the vision to see that inherent danger and tried to ensure that the church wouldn't dictate politics and influence the government. Unfortunately, the separation of church and state which is supposed to be guaranteed and society protected by its inscription in the Constitution has successfully been circumvented and subsequently rendered effective by the advent of lobbying in our government. Ultra-conservatives and right-wing political group and fundamentalist church spend millions of dollars to influence and dictate legislature in our government today. These laws, that are passed, the teachings that the church espouses all play into what becomes know as societal norms and dictates what is acceptable and what is not.
Why I have written all of this and what I want you to walk away from reading this with is the concept and the seed that individualism is good, acceptance is key, leadership is needed and it okay to march to the beat of your own drum. I want you to live your life as you feel inclined too. I want you to live outside of what society decides is the norm. If you can achieve this you will be free from the guilt and remorse that is inflicted by society, church and our own inner beliefs. You will no longer be concerned with how others see you and what they think about you. You will become a leader, you will be a positive influence on others around you and will continue to touch and bless those lives that you come in contact with. Even, if you don't believe in the Bible or the teaching of Christ, if you believe in another religion or creed. If you embrace love, kindness, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, you will find that compassion for your fellow man, and society and the world will become a much better place.
So in summary, why is there so much hatred and intolerance in our enlightened society? Is simply this Religion...man's attempt to reach God and the institution that it built up and created, Where is the solution in the true belief in the essential teachings of what I will call Spirituality or true Christianity...which is God's attempt to reach man and bridge the gap created by Original Sin as written in the old testament. Jesus's teaching of love, acceptance and so forth are the true answer to enduring peace, freedom, and world where differences are celebrated and embraced instead of ridiculed and discriminated against. If only we all could learn the simplest of these things you would see greater advancement in all things because the things which make us different are also the things that when brought together lead to development, creation, and invention. Please release your belief on the old and embrace the new and celebrate living through the joy of love and compassion. Add a sprinkle of laughter into the mix and you will see that pain, illness, will quickly dissolve and your consciousness and mind will be free from constraints and the world will become your oyster and the blessings of the Spirit will be bestowed upon you. Or better yet they will become more evident in your daily life and walk. Each of us are blessed continually and when we open our eyes and take the blinders of prejudice off we cannot see them or properly receive them.
As always I look for your comments and your thoughts on this and any other subject. I want to hear from you and hope that you will join my blog as a follower. It is easy to do, just click on the +1 button on the right hand side just under my profile to join and be a follower. You can also write to me at bryanzepp@gmail.com and visit me on Facebook www.facebook.com/bryan_zepp2
All my hopes and dreams,
Uncle B
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