08/02/18
Who could have known that a series of misadventures would lead to the discovery of a serious heart problem. A dear friend passed away in Jacksonville, almost around the same time that I found out that my father had lung cancer. Another friend asked me to help him so I thought that I could make a few bucks helping him out and visit my father and family at the same time. How was I too know that my car was going to get stolen from me along with my wallet and my phone.
Or that the person I came to help would end up screwing up my checking accounts so bad that I would end up losing one of them due to fraud. Which also led me to lose my credit card and cause so much anxiety and tension between my roommate and myself that I would end up becoming homeless once again and put me in the hospital for almost 2 complete months.
During the hospital stay I was to find out that the lower artery of my heart was completely blocked. I also found out that since my partial nephrectomy that both of my kidneys had shrunk and that dialysis was looming ever closer to my future. Further, I discovered that my roommate in Jacksonville wasn't as much of a friend as he claimed to be because not only did he tell me that he changed the locks and that I couldn't come home, even though I had paid my rent. He ended up taking everything I owned and left me with only the shorts and t-shirt that I left Jacksonville with. Not to mention that since I have been out of the hospital he hasn't tried to contact me once. Wonder why I even considered him a friend.
On July 15th I had heart surgery and was soon released from the hospital. Actually on the day that I got out Travis text me and told me that supposedly we had been evicted from the apartment and everything I owned was lost and gone forever. I have since learned from his Aunt and other friends that he lied about it. Sorry to say that I once considered Travis Young a friend but I found out the hard way that he was nothing but a liar, user and a thief.
Starting over is never an easy thing to do. This time it was going to be especially hard just coming out of major heart surgery, having lost everything including my car and all my worldly possessions and not having a cent to my name. I really had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew that going back to living on the street wasn't an option for me this time. My health was too poor to handle the situation. I had already been in Daytona almost 2 1/2 months by the time I was released from the hospital and all of my medical supplies and medication was left in Jacksonville. I had never imagined that I was going to be stuck in Daytona as long as I was. Originally I was only supposed to be gone a couple of hours and then all of the bullshit started happening and I got stuck and trapped with no wallet and no phone.
So here I was released from the hospital with no place to go, and nowhere to turn. I ended up spending the night at my father's house and contacting my friend in Orlando to see if I could come and stay with her. Once I had done all of that I contacted Progressive to see what they had determined to do with my insurance claim on my stolen car. To my dismay they decided that it was better to total the car versus fix the damage that was done to the vehicle and so I am homeless and pretty much stranded with no exit strategy in place.
My friend Judy agreed to let me come stay with her because she is about to have surgery and wold need someone to help her during her recovery. So it seems like making the decision to come to Orlando was the right decision after all. My friend Jack bought me a bus ticket to Orlando and I was soon off to start over once again. I have only been here a couple of days and I have already gotten my cell phone service re-established and my internet account set up, also have transferred my medicare and gotten a new primary care physician. I am well on the road to recovery from my folly!
If things continue at this pace I will be re-established with the VA and Ryan White and all the other services that I need in record time. When I moved to Jacksonville it took me almost 4 months to get totally established and recover all the things that I had to leave behind in Daytona. Sometimes making the wrong decision can work out in your advantage as I am finding out. It will not take me near as long to get myself back to where I was when I left Jacksonville this time. It is true that I lost all my clothes, shoes and hats. Most of my important papers are also gone but I was able to come to terms with this loss so much better. Maybe it was because of the amount of time I was in the hospital and how serious my illness was, but honestly I am finding it so much easier to cope with loosing things this time around.
Plus I have come full circle in my life, who knows what my future may hold, I could even end up back in Atlanta. Seems like forces are aligning towards that direction in my future. Kerry and I have been talking again and once he recovers from his craniotomy we have discussed us moving back to Atlanta together. Kerry and I have a long history together spending close to 12 years dating off and on. I am not saying that we are destined for one another or anything like that. All I can tell you is that our story isn't finished yet, there are still several more chapters to write in that book. For those of you who have been following my blog from the beginning you might recall my experiment of love from the past. The series of misadventures that Kerry and I had in Daytona, Los Angeles, and so much more!
Life has pulled us apart, but every 4 or 5 years or so we are drawn back together. This is actually our 5th year apart and he almost came to visit me in Jacksonville back in March, to be honest with you I was really disappointed when he couldn't make it and ended up back in LA before we had a chance to get together. You never know if we would have gotten together in March things may have turned out totally differently, but since it didn't happen that way there really is no need to speculate. Just understand that we are talking again and things are different between us then before. I am worried about him, he has to have surgery on his head again in a couple of weeks and I don't know what is going to happen.
But I am learning that the key to surviving and even possibly living is you must have the ability to adapt to whatever situation life throws your way. Further, if you really want to overcome the obstacles and hinderances that people throw in your way you have to develop and attitude of not caring. You have to look out for yourself and put your own well being before that of others. This has been a major problem for me ever since Joe and I broke up and Sterling and I started dating. When Sterling and I broke up and Kerry and I decided to become a couple and life began to change dramatically for me. It became clear that I was a nurturer and that I felt the compulsive need to take care of someone and with Kerry that need was filled because of his aneurysm. Who really knows what the future is going to bring I certainly don't. What I do know is that life gets far less complicated when you aren't burdened with carrying the things from your past with you.
It is true that I have lost everything that tied me to my past, I lost all the stuff from my relationship with Joe and the 12 years that we were together and the things that I managed to salvage from that relationship. Then I lost everything from my time in Florida and Georgia, and California because I couldn't afford to pay for the 2 storage units I had. So when I left Daytona and went to Jacksonville I had pretty much already lost everything that tied me to my past and all the associated memories that were with them. The truth of the matter is despite the loss of my physical possessions I still have the memories intact. There is no way that I can forget all that I have been through and the people that I have met along my life. The truth is what I have done in the past has become a part of me that have molded me and shaped me into the person I am today. These memories are mine and can never be taken away from me, the people I have history with are still a part of my life and I theirs. Though I don't get to see them as often as I like we have a shared past that is unique between us and can never be changed or broken, a bond has been forged and lessons learned.
Though my future is unclear as to where I am going to end up and who I will be with. The truth is that at this moment I don't really care. Those that are important to me are still in contact with me. Like I said it really should be more but they have lives to lead and I have mine to get back on track so I can understand the distance, though it really doesn't help the lonely feelings that I experience from time to time. I just know that at some point in the future we will see each other again and things will not feel stained or strange.
Sterling, Jason, Scotty, Kerry, John, Alan, Allen, Jaime, and all the other friends that I have made throughout my life, we will see each other again of this I am certain. It might not be this year, or even next year but it will happen. Its funny that life has been throwing curve balls in my direction. Yet, even with them life seems to turn out just the way it is supposed to be and I end up in exactly the right place at the right time. It will happen for you too if you are just open to the future of possibilities and live learn and adapt to anything that life deems fit to throw your way.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you!
Uncle B
Showing posts with label start. Show all posts
Showing posts with label start. Show all posts
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2012
Today is the day, a new beginning and a new start!
I have been telling you for a couple of days now that I had to move out of my parents house by this weekend. Well, try as I may I couldn't really find anything that worked. The place I looked at for work looked like it was going to fall through, because they wanted a $200.00 deposit on top of the money for the rest of the month. This would have strapped me totally financially and I wouldn't have food to eat or gas to get too and from work, get to my doctors appointment in Orlando and all the other things I have to get done this week. However, this morning that changed I paid the prorated rate got the keys and by 6:00 pm tonight I had a majority of the stuff moved out. But as usual when I plan things they never seem go as planned. When I got here with my stuff tonight the girl who I had worked out the arrangements met me and said that one of our co-workers had stopped by and told her that I needed to pay the deposit. However, Jodi told me that we would work it out later and let it go. Now I have to tell you it really upset me because I had gone over this twice and was told both times a deposit wasn't needed. Anyhow, I am off till Tuesday and I will deal with it then.
I believe that my parents were surprised because I came home and just started loading up my stuff. I don't think they were expecting me to move out right away as soon as I had gotten the place. Originally I had planned to move in on Sunday but since I had the keys and I was a little angry at the fact that everything had changed yet again, I decided to just take possession of the place right away. Besides which why hesitate, when you are making a move, just do it. Take the chance and just run with it. Why draw it out? Even though the timing of the move was ill planned and not really budgeted for, it was something that my boyfriend and I had been discussing and I was going to do it back in August. He was coming to visit for 3 weeks and I thought it would have been the perfect opportunity to move it out. Well, when he didn't come I just stayed at the house besides which I was in and out of the hospital 3 times in August and September so it wouldn't have worked out right anyway. Even though I still don't understand why my dad waited to the last minute to tell me that I needed to move out. If I had been forewarned I would have budgeted and prepared myself differently. As it is for right now I am good.
This is the ending of one phase of my life and the beginning of a new one. If you read yesterday's blog entry you will begin to understand that I have been going through the reevaluating and readjusting my life, and like I said yesterday once you readjust, reevaluate, realign it is then time to move on. Like I said yesterday before I left Atlanta I had readjusted my goals, set new ones that were more realistic and achievable. It was just yesterday as I was writing my blog entry that I realized I had accomplished each and every single goal I had set for myself. So, yes the timing was write for me to get out on my own and start all over again. The amazing thing about this is that it only took me 8 months to achieve and rebuild everything that I had planned. I am proud of myself, I have come along way, matured and grown.
Like I told you yesterday each of us comes to a point in our life when we have to make choices and decisions about our future. We have to move on, or grow stagnant, it is my time to move on. Besides which I wasn't honestly getting a head where I was at. It was impossible for me to save any money in that situation and now I have an opportunity to try again see how much I can put aside for my next move. See, I decided to take this step of moving out in stages. Right now I am staying in a hotel property that my company manages, while I am staying here and working I plan on looking for a more permanent place over the next couple of weeks. By taking this slowly and making an informed decision about this, I know I can find exactly the right place quickly.
I have the luxury of time on this one, but sometimes life isn't as kind when it comes to situations like this. When life comes at you quickly and you have to make a decision on the spur of the moment. You need to take a leap of faith and move quickly. Trust that God and the universe will take care of you. Sometimes the best decisions are the ones that are made in the heat of the moment. Because you haven't had the time to really think about it and you just move the angels are going to protect you and guide you. If you have been following my blog all this time you know how life can sneak up on you and throw all sorts of things in your way, just like this. I was given 9 days to find a place and I accomplished the task and I am safe and comfortable. Another miracle that happened is that I worked just 1 1/2 extra last week and it gave me enough money to pay for my cell phone, the prorated rate for the rest of the month and still have the money that I need to pay the ticket that I have in GA.
Like I told you yesterday my one regret in all of this is that my boyfriend is not here sharing this adventure with me. But, like I told you yesterday he has closed me off and hasn't made any contact at all with me. I even tried calling him today, and left him a message hoping he would call me back. But once again there has been no response. I know that in time he will come back to me, I just have to believe in the Lord and trust the love that I feel for him and that I know he feels for me. But, since he isn't here with me and I haven't been able to get him to talk to me, I guess I am about to embark on this first stage of my journey on my own. Maybe he will be ready to talk to me as the second phase comes into play.
This weekend is the new start of my new journey and total independence from my parents. I am going to use this weekend to formulate new strategies and goals for the next 8 months. Now, is the time for me to embark and embrace the changes that are happening in my life. I am excited and happy about all of this. A week or two ago I got up on Monday morning and I changed my status saying that I felt change in the air, and that a new adventure was heading my way, and three days later my father sprung the move on me. Where I go from here is up to me, I have no one to answer too and the decisions I make from here on out will be of my own design and choosing. This is an exciting time for me and one I haven't felt in a very long time.
Even if you aren't sure what the future holds for you, and change falls upon you take that step, reach out in faith and know in your heart that you are going to be okay. That nothing can hurt you! Take the time to reevaluate your situation, and if time permits, look at the situation from all angles and choose a path, be confident that your decision is going to be the right one. Remember what I told you once, maybe the reason all the doors before you seem to be closed is so that you can open the right one, because every time one adventure ends another begins.
I am looking forward to this journey, I want to prove to myself that I can do it, I can make it, that my failure in Atlanta last year was not a trend or pattern that I am going to continue to repeat.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
I believe that my parents were surprised because I came home and just started loading up my stuff. I don't think they were expecting me to move out right away as soon as I had gotten the place. Originally I had planned to move in on Sunday but since I had the keys and I was a little angry at the fact that everything had changed yet again, I decided to just take possession of the place right away. Besides which why hesitate, when you are making a move, just do it. Take the chance and just run with it. Why draw it out? Even though the timing of the move was ill planned and not really budgeted for, it was something that my boyfriend and I had been discussing and I was going to do it back in August. He was coming to visit for 3 weeks and I thought it would have been the perfect opportunity to move it out. Well, when he didn't come I just stayed at the house besides which I was in and out of the hospital 3 times in August and September so it wouldn't have worked out right anyway. Even though I still don't understand why my dad waited to the last minute to tell me that I needed to move out. If I had been forewarned I would have budgeted and prepared myself differently. As it is for right now I am good.
This is the ending of one phase of my life and the beginning of a new one. If you read yesterday's blog entry you will begin to understand that I have been going through the reevaluating and readjusting my life, and like I said yesterday once you readjust, reevaluate, realign it is then time to move on. Like I said yesterday before I left Atlanta I had readjusted my goals, set new ones that were more realistic and achievable. It was just yesterday as I was writing my blog entry that I realized I had accomplished each and every single goal I had set for myself. So, yes the timing was write for me to get out on my own and start all over again. The amazing thing about this is that it only took me 8 months to achieve and rebuild everything that I had planned. I am proud of myself, I have come along way, matured and grown.
Like I told you yesterday each of us comes to a point in our life when we have to make choices and decisions about our future. We have to move on, or grow stagnant, it is my time to move on. Besides which I wasn't honestly getting a head where I was at. It was impossible for me to save any money in that situation and now I have an opportunity to try again see how much I can put aside for my next move. See, I decided to take this step of moving out in stages. Right now I am staying in a hotel property that my company manages, while I am staying here and working I plan on looking for a more permanent place over the next couple of weeks. By taking this slowly and making an informed decision about this, I know I can find exactly the right place quickly.
I have the luxury of time on this one, but sometimes life isn't as kind when it comes to situations like this. When life comes at you quickly and you have to make a decision on the spur of the moment. You need to take a leap of faith and move quickly. Trust that God and the universe will take care of you. Sometimes the best decisions are the ones that are made in the heat of the moment. Because you haven't had the time to really think about it and you just move the angels are going to protect you and guide you. If you have been following my blog all this time you know how life can sneak up on you and throw all sorts of things in your way, just like this. I was given 9 days to find a place and I accomplished the task and I am safe and comfortable. Another miracle that happened is that I worked just 1 1/2 extra last week and it gave me enough money to pay for my cell phone, the prorated rate for the rest of the month and still have the money that I need to pay the ticket that I have in GA.
Like I told you yesterday my one regret in all of this is that my boyfriend is not here sharing this adventure with me. But, like I told you yesterday he has closed me off and hasn't made any contact at all with me. I even tried calling him today, and left him a message hoping he would call me back. But once again there has been no response. I know that in time he will come back to me, I just have to believe in the Lord and trust the love that I feel for him and that I know he feels for me. But, since he isn't here with me and I haven't been able to get him to talk to me, I guess I am about to embark on this first stage of my journey on my own. Maybe he will be ready to talk to me as the second phase comes into play.
This weekend is the new start of my new journey and total independence from my parents. I am going to use this weekend to formulate new strategies and goals for the next 8 months. Now, is the time for me to embark and embrace the changes that are happening in my life. I am excited and happy about all of this. A week or two ago I got up on Monday morning and I changed my status saying that I felt change in the air, and that a new adventure was heading my way, and three days later my father sprung the move on me. Where I go from here is up to me, I have no one to answer too and the decisions I make from here on out will be of my own design and choosing. This is an exciting time for me and one I haven't felt in a very long time.
Even if you aren't sure what the future holds for you, and change falls upon you take that step, reach out in faith and know in your heart that you are going to be okay. That nothing can hurt you! Take the time to reevaluate your situation, and if time permits, look at the situation from all angles and choose a path, be confident that your decision is going to be the right one. Remember what I told you once, maybe the reason all the doors before you seem to be closed is so that you can open the right one, because every time one adventure ends another begins.
I am looking forward to this journey, I want to prove to myself that I can do it, I can make it, that my failure in Atlanta last year was not a trend or pattern that I am going to continue to repeat.
As always my hopes and dreams are with you,
Uncle B
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)