Tiny Boxes

I am sitting here tonight and I have dark thoughts running through my head.  Earlier today I was reading about star that have gone out of our lives by suicide.  Robin Williams was always someone that cheered me up and brightened my mood, no matter what he was performing in I was always interested.  He is gone by his own hand and it got me to thinking about the tiny boxes that surround each and everyone of us.  The boxes I am referring to are boxes we are placed in by others through stereotypes and labels.  Yet, that is just one type of box, I look out my window and I see all the boxes others live in and these too interest me.  But, no matter the type of box each one of them has a story hidden inside.

Most people never look behind the labels or stereotypes to see the person that is staring back at them, and in our own homes there is a drama all of our own that is also obscured and unseen.  It is getting dark outside now and the light in each window are coming on and I wonder if the people behind them are thinking about me like I am sitting here thinking about them.  I am not a solitary person, have never liked to be alone and have never experienced for any length of time being on my own and alone.  My story intersects with a so many different lives that I sort of have a vicarious life through them.  But these boxes hold secrets, tears, pain, fears, longings and so many other things that I cry out feeling for each one wondering who is in their life that is helping them deal with life and existence.

I have been categorized so many times in my life that I defy one specific stereotype, but yet I still feel isolated and alone.  I sit here with my computer and reach out in to the night hoping that someone out there is in a better circumstance just because they know me.  I wonder how many lives I have helped, changed, inspired or nurtured and might they remember me after I am gone.  When I am left alone too long I start to fear that I haven't done enough, been enough or hear enough.  I cry on the inside because I cringe and am afraid of myself and who I am.

So many people on Facebook and throughout my life have passed on through few have ever taken root and stayed for any length of time, and I wonder is it me?  Could I have been more? done more? said more? felt more?  I don't think I will ever know.  I have been myself and that is all that anyone can ask for.  Those few who have taken root and who are still around and in my life today our relationship has changed, we are scattered far apart and we only talk every once in a while maybe by phone, email, facebook or text, but it just isn't the same.

So as I write to you tonight I want you to think about the people around you that are at home in there tiny box, think about their story, their truth, because each and every light on in those windows has a person behind it and a story that is uniquely their own.  Just like you and I have.  I would encourage you to be a helper, companion, friend, someone others can talk to and depend on.  I think if we can all do that and break down the walls that separate us the world will be a much happier and prettier place.

I don't want to die alone or feel like I am not cared for or loved, because I know that I am.  But so are each of you.  We have to get past those boxes, those walls that separate us and reach out to others, we are social creatures and we need others around us and in our lives, or at least I do.  I am thinking about all of you tonight as I sit in my chair here in my home all alone and wonder what is you are doing while I am writing?  I don't think anyone really ever wants to be alone or intends to be alone it just sort of happens and as we get older, it is hard for us to socialize and get around.  Maybe take a trip to a nursing home and visit some of the folks shut in there.  Each one of them has a history and a past, a story that they can share with you and trust me you will be better for hearing it and being a part of their life.

Bette Midler had a song called "Hello in There"  and if you really listen to the song she is telling the story of how as people get older they are sometimes alone and forgotten, I don't want to be forgotten, and I definitely don't want to be alone, but I have no children of my own, and my brother is far away, and most of my friends are either in another state or another city and I don't get to see them much at all.

We need to take care of one another we are the only ones that can.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B

A new Dawn

Last night I swear I was visited by my friend Mary, she kept me up most of the night but helped me work through some very tough and touchy issues that have been brought up in my life.  I keep coming back to her this morning as I sit here listening to Gospel music and thinking about my night.  I am reminded that I am not my illness, I am not my sexual preference, I am human, and I have a face and a name.  I want to remind each of us that we are all important, we each have a voice and a story to tell.  I encourage you to tell your story to anyone who will listen to you.  Because, you never know what the person next to you is going through.   The pain that you have felt  will be conveyed in your story through the power of your voice, and you don't know how much that pain you have experienced will help the next person.  I have told you so many times before that you never know where a casual conversation is going to take you.

I encourage each and everyone of you to reach out a hand of help and support to a stranger today, tell at least one person what you are going through and how you have overcome the past.  See, the courage and strength that you have displayed in your journey may give that person the hope they need to see their way clear of whatever it is that they have going on.  I want you to look at the person you are riding the train next too, the person you past by on the street and see the as a person with a name, problems of their very own, smile at them tell the it is going to be okay.  Because everything passes, nothing last forever and that pain that has you in it's grip right now will soon fade away and a new adventure is awaiting.

Too many times society labels us, puts us in categories, pushes into a box, whether we fit in it or not.  It is societies attempt to understand you and classify you.  But I was reminded just recently that the boxes that society puts us in easily turn into coffins and before we know it we are buried in stereotype and labels.  You are an individual, you are a person, you have a face and a name. You are someone that makes a difference in this world and nothing is going to hold you down and keep you prisoner.  Take back that power that has  been robbed from you by those you once held esteem for, because you are much more than that label that has been placed upon you.

Get yourself together, it isn't as hard as you think. Start with the person you see staring back at you in the mirror.  It is with them that your are going to walk with for the first part of your journey.  They can explain to you your past, help you to come to terms with where you are at and give you some insights into how you came to be in the state that you are in.  Once your road and questions have come to be fulfilled you are going to have to take another journey.  You are going to have to open yourself up and let the Spirit fill you and guide you from there the journey is going to be beyond your wildest imagining.

I have to tell you that if you want to set yourself up for success each and every day all you have to do is wake up and give thanks for all that you have been carried through and all the blessings that have been bestowed upon you.  If you do that you are going to feel so good that a positive mental attitude is the only thing that you can have.  From there as you dress the final accessory of the morning should be a smile upon your face as you walk out the door.  For you are loved, blessed and favored!

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B