Showing posts with label true. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Letting go

You may think that taking steps to help myself might look like I may be running away from my problems.  But the truth of the matter is that I needed to look out for my health and well-being, because no one else is going too. Being tossed around on the streets is not a place for someone like me who has so many things wrong with me physically.  I just had a kidney removed back in March and lately i have been showing signs of esophagus cancer. This is something that needs to be taken very seriously. It also needs a stable environment in which to heal and get better. So when things really started going south in my life i chose to take my friend up on his offer to leave behind the world of drugs and uncertain stability. I chose to pick up what remained of my life and head north to a new life i had hoped that others would be happy for me. But to my surprise the people i love the most chose to let me go and stay behind.

No matter what i choose now i guess i am totally on my own. I had hoped that being away for several days would let the others know that i did the best thing for myself and that asking them to come with me is my attempt to make a new beginning for both of us. No matter what anyone else thinks i have not abandoned those i love and who trust me. I have never given up on them and never will. Life is too short for running away. I have chosen a new path and and with any luck a new destiny for myself and those that love me.

It has taken an act of letting go and walking away from my old life in order to create a new life, a new path. In order for me to move forward i needed to shed the old self and begin a whole new life. Moving from Daytona was the first step in the process. The next few days i am going to try and get myself in order. Meet with the VA and medicare to get myself into treatment and make sure that my health is once again taken care of. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Hopefully over the next few weeks my partner will realize that we need each other and will choose to come with me. This will help me greatly to achieve stability and peace of mind.  I can only hope that those of you who read and follow my blog will support my decision and help me convince him that i need him in my life and without him I will never really be safe and healthy.  He is not something that i would willingly or happily let go of. He is my whole world and the one who i depend on most. I have been gone 3 days and it feels so much longer. I don't think he really knows how much I depend on him or how much I care about him.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you.

Uncle B

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Misadventures in Paradise

Well for those of you who aren't aware of current events in my life, I am finally back in Florida, where I should have never left in the first place.  I went to meet Kerry in Atlanta that turned into the biggest fiasco the world has ever known.  Anyhow, I went up there ended up getting jumped by 3 people that got my money, my ID, and almost lost my car.  It was the most terrifying experience of my life and I never felt so alone.  I did however make a remarkable discovery about myself and the people I counted as my friends.  When push came to shove people only care about themselves and what they can get out of you.

If it wasn't for a special person named Tony Aliguan who actually took the time to look after me and made sure that I was safe.  He risked his life and well-being to make sure that I was taken care of. I owe him my life many times over, he made sure that I went to the hospital when it looked pretty scary for me. I had become severely dehydrated, my kidney's failed and I was running on empty.  Tony made sure that I was fed, clothed and was safe.  I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I cannot tell you how lucky I was to have Tony by my side helping through this ordeal.

I do know that I don't plan on going back to Atlanta, and if I do, it will be under totally different circumstances.  See I went as a surprise, I didn't tell a lot of people my plans, so when tragedy struck and I lost everything I didn't know who to turn too, I had no numbers and I was trapped.  Finally, a break came when I went to the Buckhead Christian Ministries and they allowed me the use of the computer. I was then able to access my gmail account and my telephone numbers. I got a hold of my dad and he was able to wire me money to make it home.  I had already spent the night in the hospital and knew that I was seriously sick, so the best thing for me to do was get in my car as soon as I got the money and head home.  Which is what I did. Unfortunately, when I left, I didn't do it gracefully or with tact! I was in a hurry, I didn't take the time to express my thanks to Tony or any of the few others that had helped me out while I was stuck on the streets of Atlanta for 8 days. So here is my opportunity to express how I felt and my feelings toward that situation.

I want to Thank the following people for sticking by me through everything, for taking my calls and listening to my whining and nagging. My bitching and belly-aching. I want to thank Gerard Alexander for sleeping in my car with me and making sure that I was safe my entire stay, Tony, thank you for keeping your promise and making sure that I was fed, taken care of and safe the entire time. Merger, for being there and talking to me when I was desperate and alone with no one to turn too.  To Scotty for offering to loan me the money to make the trip home and making sure that I was well taken care of by Tony and Gerard, for checking in with me every couple of days to make sure I was eating and well rested. If it wasn't for all of you pulling together and taking care of me I would have died on that lonely street.

For those of you who took advantage of my situation, pushed me down and tried to hold me down, I feel sorry for you because I will tell you what Karma is a bitch and what comes around goes around.  For those of you who stole my money and my cell phone, I know who you are and believe me I will be coming back at you when you least expect it. Beware the wrath of a queen scorned.  I am not a vindictive person but I do get back at those that hurt me on purpose.  For those of you who were there and turned your back on me, I don't count you as my friends anymore, and you know who you are.  You are the ones who got all the voice mails and messages from me but couldn't be bothered to answer the phone or even offer me a word of advice.

Thanks to the Buckhead Christian Ministries for the fabulous work that you are doing for the homeless and destitute people of Atlanta, you are a beacon of light in a darkness that could have swallowed a person whole and left them to die.  I appreciate the food, the clothing and the supportive talks that you gave me when I needed the faith and encouragement to keep on going.

As for my adventures, I can honestly say, that I steered myself clear of the drugs, the misdirection that was thrown in my path.  I tried very hard to keep my dignity and head held high. I know that I failed at times, and that I complained about how I felt awful the entire time I was there. I know it seemed like I was whining and doing nothing about my situation, however, believe it or not, I was fighting my own internal battle.  I won, I triumphed and I made it home alive.  Now, as I have said I couldn't have done any of this without the support of my true friends.  Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. There is a special place inside of me for all of you.  I will make it up to you all some how for the sacrifices that you made on my behalf. I love you all and I know we will see each other again soon.

Advice, I would like to give, when you find yourself in a situation and are helpless, try not to cling to those that are helping you.  It adds weight and a burden on them that they don't necessarily deserve. I only saw this after the fact and I am so sorry for the lack of grace and dignity in which I left the situation.  I owe you all so much and I am thankful that you were there when I needed you the most.

As always my hopes and dreams are with you,

Uncle B